IT'S OKAY IF REPUBLICANS DO IT  11:14 am June 7, 2011

Party of David Vitter & Larry Craig & Newt Gingrich Tells Anthony Weiner To Resign

by Wonkette Jr.

Well, we didn’t see this coming at all:

The chairman of the Republican National Committee on Tuesday called for Rep. Anthony Weiner to resign from Congress, saying no investigation was necessary “to know he lied and acted inappropriately.”

Following Weiner’s dramatic news conference Monday afternoon, during which he admitted to sending explicit online communications to women over the course of several years, House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi called for the Ethics Committee to look into whether the New York congressman had violated House rules.

Repeatedly & illegally using the services of prostitutes, making bathroom sex advances on cops and divorcing your cancerous wives while banging staffers while prosecuting another politician’s infidelity, these are all A-OK with the G-OP. Is Mark Foley the only Republican in Congress during this awful 21st Century to actually resign for his sex troubles? We think so. Mark Foley actually had some scruples. [LA Times]

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 88 comments }

ablington June 7, 2011 at 11:18 am

I am waiting patiently for the Jean Schmidt sexting scandal.

horsedreamer_1 June 7, 2011 at 11:32 am

Don't know whether to up this or bring it down.

Lascauxcaveman June 7, 2011 at 12:03 pm

Two words: Ewwww and Ewwwwwwwer.

Texan_Bulldog June 7, 2011 at 12:11 pm

No, no. Virginia Foxx. Just do the google on her.

V572 [SSAN] June 7, 2011 at 12:43 pm

How about Henry "Brazilian" Waxman?

Nothingisamiss June 7, 2011 at 1:07 pm

+1, but not because I want to see it, of course.

Limeylizzie June 7, 2011 at 2:35 pm

Genius, that made me cough , snort and spit simultaneously.

Limeylizzie June 7, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Ewwwww. dear God, that woman's cunt is probably like an old wallet.

ifthethunderdontgetya June 7, 2011 at 11:22 am

Hypocrisy.

It's always on the menu at the Republican "All You Can Eat" buffet.

P.S. Let's not forget the special details in s(h)itting Senator Diaper Dave Vitter's case:

While he committed the crime of being one of Madam Palfrey's repeat customers, it is she who was charged with and convicted of racketeering, and ultimately committed suicide before being sent to prison.

Meanwhile, 'moral values' scold Dave the Shitter is still a U.S. Senator, voting for tax cuts for plutocrats and against anything and everything that might help the rest of us.
~

V572 [SSAN] June 7, 2011 at 12:45 pm

And giving "shamelessness" a bad name.

horsedreamer_1 June 7, 2011 at 1:19 pm

Also: she was murdered died naturally.

pinkocommi June 7, 2011 at 11:23 am

If politicians resigned every time they lied, we wouldn't have any politicians left in office. Come to think of it, that's not such a bad idea.

Giveusabob June 7, 2011 at 12:06 pm

Yes, do you have a newsletter or something where I might subscribe?

PsycWench June 7, 2011 at 11:28 am

You forgot John Ensign. Sure, he resigned but he actually has sex with the (apparently reluctant) wife of his best friend.

horsedreamer_1 June 7, 2011 at 11:32 am

But he slow-walked that departure. A lot. Over a year's time.

SorosBot June 7, 2011 at 11:42 am

He only resigned when the Senate was getting ready to expel him though. And considering that what he did was pretty fucking close to rape, it's ridiculous to compare that to Weiner's weiner pics.

AJWjr. June 7, 2011 at 11:47 am

Not until he saw the knives being sharpened, though.

mumbly_joe June 7, 2011 at 12:05 pm

And also they were both his subordinates at the time! And he had is family illegally pay her hush money in an effort to keep the whole thing from blowing up- which, it's worth noting, is apparently only an indictable offense if you're a senator with amazing hair who happens to be a Democrat.

V572 [SSAN] June 7, 2011 at 12:47 pm

And Ensign's "resignation" was more of a last-minute acceptance of the inevitable…sort of like shouting, "The king must die!" just before the firing squad pull their triggers, and hoping you'll be remembered as a fearless revolutionary even though you were shitting your pants.

Oops, wandered off into Vitter-land in that tortured metaphor. So sorry!

freakishlywrong June 7, 2011 at 11:29 am

Maybe Weiner should just take a nice head-clearing hike on the Appalachian Trail.

Mumbletypeg June 7, 2011 at 11:29 am

Is Mark Foley the only Republican in Congress during this awful 21st Century to actually resign for his sex troubles?
Well, to be fair, Rep. Chris Lee threw in the towel. Soiled, but still..

SorosBot June 7, 2011 at 11:44 am

His resignation was also silly, since his scandal was as tame as this one; unless he had more to hide.

mumbly_joe June 7, 2011 at 11:46 am

Sorosbot! Good God, what happened to all your pee?

SorosBot June 7, 2011 at 11:55 am

The briefly deflating p-ness seems to be afflicting more people than usual today, but mine's back up now.

BaldarTFlagass June 7, 2011 at 12:00 pm

And you had the most to lose.

HobbesEvilTwin June 7, 2011 at 12:08 pm

Weiner sexting women who are over 18 does not equal Foley sexting pubescent boys.

SorosBot June 7, 2011 at 12:10 pm

Not to mention that Weiner's sexts were apparently wanted, unlike Foley's.

elviouslyqueer June 7, 2011 at 11:30 am

Oh, fuck these morality-inhibited motherfuckers. And by "fuck them," I mean "with a dildo that could double as a baseball bat."

EatsBabyDingos June 7, 2011 at 11:32 am

And Chuck Norris' rusty spurs on that there wooden dildo.

elviouslyqueer June 7, 2011 at 11:50 am

Oh no no. Why compromise on rusty spurs when razor wire will do a perfectly good job. Plus, it has such a lovely metallic sheen.

Bonzos_Bed_Time June 7, 2011 at 5:21 pm

Hey batta, batta, batta, battaaaa, heeeeeey batta, batta, batta…

freakishlywrong June 7, 2011 at 11:31 am

Here's the difference between us and Republicans–we don't march around judging others and claiming to have "family values", as in; they value other peoples families, and cheat on their own to break them up. But Gawd will forgive them.

PabaBritannica June 7, 2011 at 11:32 am

Yes, but you see, the GOP sex scandals were stories of tormented souls and Christian redemption. Larry Craig struggled mightily with the devil in that bathroom stall.

iburl June 7, 2011 at 11:37 am

Is "the devil" his nickname for his gay blade?

horsedreamer_1 June 7, 2011 at 11:33 am

Life is like that. Some of us trawl Constitution Avenue & K Street for tricks, while others shuffle off to the Appalachian Trail. Who's to say which is right, though?

KeepFnThatChicken June 7, 2011 at 11:34 am

Dear Republican National Committee:

I'm a Democrat.

Regards,
A. Weiner

horsedreamer_1 June 7, 2011 at 11:36 am

Dear Reince Priebus:

Watch out for your glass-house. Or, there's prolly an Aaron Schock grindr scandal cooking, as we speak.

Regards,

Horsedreamer_1

Sharkey June 7, 2011 at 1:24 pm

Dear Mr. Weiner,

What makes you so sure?

-RNC

MathIsHard June 8, 2011 at 9:18 am

R-Dog,

My scandal involved a consenting, adult, non-prostitute member of the opposite sex.

Best,
Anthony

x111e7thst June 7, 2011 at 11:38 am

Surely before Weiner resigns in disgrace a Congressional Committee should scrupulously examine the Member's member.

BloviateMe June 7, 2011 at 11:40 am

Weird. Mock moral outrage.

They've never played THAT card before.

Keep strumming that one string guitar…er, I guess one string banjo would be more appropriate.

BaldarTFlagass June 7, 2011 at 11:40 am

I think we should make him Democratic minority leader, and he should be named Speaker when the Dems take back the House. Ha Ha, Fuck you Republicans!

easybaked June 7, 2011 at 11:53 am

And he should use his 'johnson' as a gavel. That ought to leave the the GOP gaping and gasping.

Lascauxcaveman June 7, 2011 at 12:14 pm

And more than a few of them drooling.

neiltheblaze June 7, 2011 at 11:40 am

It doesn't matter what Republicans do, it only matters what they say.

DahBoner June 7, 2011 at 12:23 pm

Don't be silly!

Republicans don't care what Republicans say or do.

Beck_is_Trig June 9, 2011 at 1:20 am

Ah, someone attended the Newt school of family values! While that sounds almost word for word what America's favorite giant headed, gelantinously shaped 70-year old baby said to one of his ex-wives when she brought up what a fat, flaming hypocrit he is. Oh, you added Republicans, which means you're still learning…Republicans only know one letter: I. But you'll get there soon, a couple more sessions with the Newtster you'll learn Christians opposed slavery and founded the country and fucking your secretary is okay so long as you're not a Democrat…that's the final, of course.

el_donaldo June 7, 2011 at 11:41 am

Chris Lee resigned because he was banging trannies. I think we've found their boundary.

EatsBabyDingos June 7, 2011 at 11:43 am

Looking at the said weinergate photo, it looks like he put a can of Coke in his shorts. If he had gone to the Clarence Thomas Finishing School, he would have known the pube goes on the can of Coke; the can of Coke does not go on the pube. And the "Retching Sarah" photo looks like she licked the pube and then drank the pube.

The New RePube-lick-cans. Brought to you by the Dicken's Cider Company-Like all the Grifter Chix, Sarah loves the Dicken's Cider Jugs and the Foster's sized Dicken's Cider Extra Large Can.

MLHencken June 7, 2011 at 11:45 am

Amazing downfister action. Neutralized.

AJWjr. June 7, 2011 at 11:46 am

I'm pretty sure that, under Sharia, Houma must be stoned to death to atone for Anthony's sins.

SorosBot June 7, 2011 at 11:47 am

But you see, Weiner is not a hypocritical holier-than-thou "family values" scold who wants the government to tell everyone what they can and can't do with their genitals, which makes even the most mild sex scandal so much worse according to our mainstream media for some reason.

BlueStateLibel June 7, 2011 at 11:49 am

This is sort of like the United States telling other countries to stop being so corrupt, stop wasting so much money on their military, and become democratic now!

Gopherit June 7, 2011 at 11:54 am

Mark Foley fell to the Live Boy:Dead Girl rule of republican politics. Eating turds out of a diaper, though, is acceptable.

donner_froh June 7, 2011 at 11:54 am

We think so. Mark Foley actually had some scruples.

Today's GOP–lowering the bar for freedom.

DaRooster June 7, 2011 at 11:57 am

How in the fuck does the House still have an Ethics Committee?

Fare la Volpe June 7, 2011 at 6:31 pm

Ironically.

MLHencken June 7, 2011 at 11:57 am

Weiner showed more guts in 30 minutes yesterday than Sanford, Vitter, Craig or Edwards (yes, him too) have in the last 3 years. Am I disappointed in the guy? Hell, yes. Do I feel I have the right to judge him? No, and neither should the RNC.

What sucks about this is I really thought the guy was smart enough not to do anything like this in the first place. I thought we had someone in Weiner who was smart and feisty enough to take it to the Republicans. Remember when he was on the floor to support healthcare for 9/11 responders? "The gentleman is right in sitting!"

Good times, now sadly gone.

JustPixelz June 7, 2011 at 12:13 pm

If I lived in his district, I would judge him harshly for the lying. The sexting and the rest is tawdry. But he lied. (So did Clinton, unless BJs really are not sex.)

As for Weiner taking the fight to the Repubicans: The Demoncrats should have a deeper bench. They are right on the facts, right on the politics, and right on the morality of all the health care issues. The Demoncrats should be ringing bells about this stuff, but cave at every juncture.

GOPCrusher June 7, 2011 at 1:55 pm

Agreed.
I would have more respect for him, if when he was first asked if the picture was of him, he would of just came right out said "Fuck yeah! Here, check it out.".
But instead, he's made Breitbart look like a hero and extended the "Clinton got a BJ" meme for the next ten years.

jus_wonderin June 7, 2011 at 12:01 pm

Does down-fister swallow? I bet he does.

Gorillionaire June 7, 2011 at 12:02 pm

Long ago I just assumed that all of these congresscritters were doing something naughty all of the time. At least the dudes are. They have money and privilege and are surrounded by people who kiss their asses.Even gross old coots like Newt and Henry Hyde have gotten their knobs slobbed on the sly.

BaldarTFlagass June 7, 2011 at 12:02 pm

Fist goes down, fist goes up. Is that how that works?

Fare la Volpe June 7, 2011 at 6:32 pm

Y'can't explain it. C'mon.

JustPixelz June 7, 2011 at 12:04 pm

He resigned(!) over something as innocuous as a shirtless photo. Oh wait.

Come here a minute June 7, 2011 at 12:05 pm

Once again we are left asking the House Republican leadership, WHERE'S THE JOBS? No blow, no hand, no nothing. Epic fail.

BarryOPotter June 7, 2011 at 5:20 pm

I know! It's like they married America, or something…

MissusBarry June 7, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Intentional factual statement?

JustPixelz June 7, 2011 at 12:23 pm

Years ago office flirtation and double entendres were common. Decorum and laws have moved that behavior to cyberspace. What I'm saying is men enjoy getting attention, validation, strokes (ha ha) from the opposite sex. (Or sometimes from the same sex.) I bet women like that too. It doesn't have to end in sexytime. If a pretty girl smiles at me, in that instant I've imagined a life together. It's lust in my heart (a sin) and it's nice. Then I go home.

hagajim June 7, 2011 at 12:25 pm

HA HA HA HA….kettle anyone?

prommie June 7, 2011 at 12:28 pm

The irony is enchanting, exquisite, and exhilirating.

HobbesEvilTwin June 7, 2011 at 12:30 pm

The sad part is that even if Weiner did resign in a fit of rare self-awareness that what he did was really fucking stupid, Vitter, Gingrich, Craig, and the rest still would never grasp that Weiner had done the respectable (and imo the only reasonable) thing.

Nothingisamiss June 7, 2011 at 12:38 pm

Err, and Mark Foley sexted teens.

Agree with the hate-y thing, though.

Biel_ze_Bubba June 7, 2011 at 1:41 pm

Minor detail, yeah. You don't get off easy because you "really liked" that 13-year-old.

TheMeatmaker June 8, 2011 at 9:17 pm

Must…not…make…"get off easy" joke…

natoslug June 7, 2011 at 1:27 pm

Fortunately, sheep can't talk.

user-of-owls June 7, 2011 at 1:33 pm

Mark Foley actually had some scruples.

Dimples too.

Guppy06 June 7, 2011 at 1:39 pm

"Mark Foley actually had some scruples."

And he kept dipping them onto the faces of underaged boys.

lingin June 7, 2011 at 1:56 pm

>>How do you expect a rational person without an over-inflated ego, sense of self and arrogance to serve as a Congressman?<<

THIS. I'll take Clinton's, Spitzer's and Weiner's acting out sexually over the reactionary Republicans who take pleasure in sending young men and women to die by ginning up wars.

SorosBot June 7, 2011 at 2:14 pm

And of those three, only Spitzer did anything illegal that was actually the public's business and an issue for anyone but their families and the women involved.

BarackMyWorld June 7, 2011 at 2:06 pm

Just want to re-emphasize the obvious: Sen. David Vitter, Republican of Louisiana, is still in office, working hard championing the causes of abstinence-only education and banning same-sex marriage.

finallyhappy June 7, 2011 at 4:15 pm

yes, but his work stopping The gheys from marrying and promoting Abstinence -0nly education(which we call- "get the girl pregnant" ) makes up for him being an adulterous lying whore monger.

Gorillionaire June 7, 2011 at 2:52 pm

Maybe Virgina Foxx could post pics from her gang bang at the Heritage Foundation.

BZ1 June 8, 2011 at 12:22 pm

hypocrites, please line up here…wow, that many??

tcaalaw June 8, 2011 at 5:05 pm

Mark Foley actually had some scruples underaged boys.

FTFY.

SorosBot June 7, 2011 at 12:09 pm

And now it's struck you.

Lascauxcaveman June 7, 2011 at 12:10 pm

And yours is at zero, as I type this. I thought all you old timers knew fully well the divine and terrible powers of Intense Debate do this occasionally to remind us not to take our p too seriously.

BaldarTFlagass June 7, 2011 at 3:21 pm

I've hardly been here, what with meetings and shit, so apparently this p disappear/resurrection thing can happen when you aren't even looking.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: