Our modern-day Bill Clinton — you know, because Democrats + Boners + Twitter = Modern Day Bill Clinton — is giving a press conference now, about his weiner. He tearfully acknowledges that he maybe took pictures of his groin, with his iPhone or whatever, and sent them to a lady. And now he must resign or be put in prison or something, because that’s how justice works, and everyone is so gross.
While we prepare yet another post on this topic, here’s a picture of Weiner and some Republican congressman getting blown by goats together:
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(throws up in mouth a little)
Oh ablington. Don't you kind of find him more hawt now that we know . . .
Well, how do I put this.
That's he appears to be hung larger than your average Oscar Meyer product?
Or am I just a shallow whore? (Don't answer that)
I hate that guy. What a douche.
We're talking about Andrew Breitbart, right?
Anthony should just admit he made a boner and tell everyone who wants him to resign to just suck it!
America can only handle crying Boner at a time.
Needs moar dix pix!
Et tu Weiner?
Needs moar alt text!
Maybe he ought to try and get an endorsement gig from Hanes.
They were Jockeys. Don't ask me how I know.
I was thinking Fruit of the Loom could totally get on that shit. But if they are Jockeys, then… well, it's not like Anthon is particularly tall, right? There might be some riding metaphors we could get in there….
Time to wrap this Weiner up.
Or should we stick a fork in the weiner?
Maybe this weiner will be roasted?
Well done!
I don't care about dick pix but Weiner made fucking Andy Breitbart look good. Way to go, fuckhead.
Yeah, any chance of that fucker going away or finally being laughed out of the public arena is gone now. Dammit.
Yeah, but it also shows the only things he can bring to the table are salacious personal scandals that have nothing to do with being a lawmaker.
Ha ha, oh wait! This is America! That's all that MATTERS, that there are dick pics! Put him prison! Breitbart/Inanimate Carbon Rod 2012!
Yep, this will be the "But Clinton got a BJ" for the '10s.
You know a president getting BJ's seems less likely to start a war than one who isn't getting any BJ's. Just saying I don't think Pickles was servicing Georgie's pickle and look what happened.
He forever has Dick Cred.
Fuck, Andy Breitbart makes Larry Flynt look good, figuratively and literally.
Larry Flynt is a hell of a better person than Breitbart.
Yes. Yes he is. Which leads to the inevitable question "You know who else was a hell of a better person than Breitbart"?
Everyone, Katie.
Anyone breathing currently?
Hitler.
So great, Breitbart looks good because he got his hands on that Wiener wiener first.
Talk about pissing off the liberal base and making that Brietbart turd look good in one tug of the wiener. Anthony has it stroked. You would think he would have learned something from upstate NY's Chris Lee.
Mine eyes have schween the glory….
Did somebody pull a Boehner? Do the Rethugs think they can lick our Weiner?
New spokesman for Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest in 7… 6… 5…
1st – Fuck Breitbart.
2nd – That press conference wouldn't have been any more awkward if Weiner had actually been broadcasting pictures of his wang during the Q&A…
As to #2, in a virtual sense, he was.
1st – Never, not even on a bet.
2nd – In a virtual sense, that's exactly what he did.
He can't be a modern-day Clinton! His bends to the left, while Clinton's bent to the right.
(Or at least that's how I remember it with the Paula Jones business; I'm not about to Google "Clinton's penis" to confirm it.)
Oh yes, the sweet science.
I learn so much on Wonkette!
LIke we needed a pointer to know that Weiner is a leftie.
If Ant'ny's name were anything else but "Weiner," this would be a non-story. This is an example of so-called bad "moral luck." He should change his name to Koch.
But then he'd get busted for narcotics.
If that was a picture of my weiner, I'd deny it too.
But he didn't deny it.
And the weiner of the weiner of the day contest is….
For $20? Link please…..
I only read his tweets for the content.
Here's a deal: If Senator Diaper Dave "The Shitter" Vitter quits, then Weiner goes, too.
Otherwise, no effing way.
P.S. In other countries, people are worried about a debt crisis, global warming, a nuclear catastrophe.
Not here! We're all about the dick pic on Twitter.
USA! USA! USA!
~
I was about to say that a number of other countries are actually more worried about jobs than a debt crisis, but then I remembered that most of the countries that actually *had* worried about jobs, ever, have pretty much fixed that one up already.
Mixed feelings: what Jon Stewart is feeling right now.
Yep.. aren't they like longtime friends, ex-roommates or something?
One part JACK POT! to one part Doh..
Weiner should appear on Stewart's show and let Stewart rake him over the coals. It will take the wind out of the story, and it will show Weiner can take the punishment for his mistakes. It is easier to be roasted by your friend than your enemies.
Plus, Tundra Twit's emails are being released soon so the media's short attention span will be redirected soon.
Stewart was pretty clear that it wasn't Weiner's weiner, since they were roommates on the Jersey shore and had personal knowledge of the member in question, so either the growth hormones work, or the third shoe in this story is Weiner was twiting someone else's weiner.
Which is to say, I don't see him going full hang-out on the Daily Show anytime soon. (I think I made myself gag.)
It's all in the angles, ,man.
One would assume that Mr Stewart only had post-swimming views of said Weinerweiner.
Worst part? Wall Street Journal front page headline and Fox Snooze blaring banner: BREITBART VINDICATED!
I wish we had a strong narcotic vending machine here at work.
My advice, Flounder: start drinking heavily.
Well, as Wonkette Jr wrote the other day http://wonkette.com/446825/richard-cohen-suffers-...
"even a broken plastic clock that was pulverized and re-manufactured into a novelty-store dildo is still right exactly one time in 40 years"
Jesus, Downfisty took a whole TWO minutes to zero me out. But I'm sure that's still longer than he can last in the sack.
Oh please, the only thing our serial downfister can get in the sack is the Cheetos he buys in bulk at the local Costco.
Sam's Club – fisty would not be caught dead at that libulz elitits dirty fookin hippy Costco.
Even a blind chimp hits something with his flung feces once in a while…
… or however that goes.
Perfect.
Seriously, I'm pissed. This guy is like the only politician that didn't sound like a complete and utter asshole. He's intelligent, he knows how to debate, and he genuinely seemed like he was fighting for people above all. I was so hoping he was a shot in 2016.
And, now he's fucked. Which means we'll continue to be fucked. Seriously, junk shots? Who the fuck does this? It's one thing if you did he 12 years ago before anyone knew you or you were elected, but cripes man, how could you be so stupid?
/dick joke.
The sexual shots, while completely uncouthed, are something a lot of people do these days, men and women. I'm not going to judge him much on that, and it doesn't much change about how I feel about him as a politician. I think the real problem is how he handled it, and he looked like an amatuer, which burns me up about this. If he can't handle something this open-and-shut, this easy, it does bring into question how he'd fair on executing the optics you need for higher office.
I am old so I do think these sexual shots are a big deal and what the hell is a congressman doing taking these photos and posting them? Christ – is everyne in politics becoming an immature self-centered idiot?( I was going to write schmuck but….)
Same here. Dude is married and having photo and phone sex with a bunch of women. And then lying about being hacked and photo-manipulated. Not cool.
He'll be fine. The electorate has a short memory. They won't care, especially his republican opponent will probably have something far worse in his closet…like Larry Craig.
I'm pretty sure he's in a very liberal district and probably either won't have a Republican opponent or just a sacrificial lamb.
I get he'll be fine in his district, but nationally, I think he's done now.
Not sure he had much chance nationally, except at the Chuck Schumer level, i.e., smart, argumentative guy from New York that nobody else pays any attention to except when required by seniority.
I think he lost most of Queens, Bronx, Brooklyn, Manhattan above 96th street women between 14th and 96th street, and all of Staten Island.
He is going to be hanging on to his House seat, no Gracy Mansion for him.
Thank god someone is keeping Larry Craig in a closet.
I'll miss his voice when speaking out about one-L-michele's stupidity.
As the mega-banks walk away from the global depression they caused with money in their pockets, I decided that I refuse to care about a silly old-fashioned sex scandal. When I think about Wall St. and climate change and Sarah Palin being listened to by anyone ever I want to try every possible drug and and just try to become a dolphin or something. Weiner took stupid pictures and lied. These days, that seems almost like a sweet sort of reaction to the crazy, and I refuse to let the real nuts make me think otherwise.
Weiner has to resign and soon. He DID make Breitbart look good and he'll be a distraction in efforts to fight against the conservative kochsuckers who are seeking to remake our nation in the image of their corporate donors. Just shut up and quit, Tony!
If Diaper David Vitter stays, the Weiner stays. They're all moral reprobates, but some are hypocrites and some are just stupid. The Weiner was stupid.
why would progressives want to measure themselves against the same hypocritical bullshit the rethugs use? Seriously, if Weiner is stupid enough send out dick picks he needs to go away and shut up. I really liked him up until this, but dick picks? Jesus that's fucking stupid.
Anthony is damaged goods now.
However, a damaged Weiner is still better to have than an actual turd.
A damaged Weiner is still better to have than a Breitbart in the hand.
A damaged weiner is worth two tweets in the bush!
That's what she said!
I'm reading the AP story that he won't resign even with the confession and why would he? They didn't force out that fat and balding Idaho creep caught trolling young cop cock in a Minneapolis restroom. Prove to Tony a bulging underwear picture is "worse" if you want him to resign.
Wow. Well, I have to hand it to the Mrs. she called it, said Weiner was guilty.
What an idiot.
Um, what about the misleading prevaricating he did for the last week?
Isn't it unbearable when the wife is right?
Oh, it's bearable. I don't want to sound immodest, nor am I any type of cuckold, but she's fairly awesome, so I don't mind. She lets me be right most of the time.
She lets me think I'm right most of the time.
Fixt
Or there's this model: in this marriage, I make all the big decisions. My spouse makes all the small decisions. So far, there haven't been any big decisions.
Honestly the only reason I doubted the story at all was the thick coat of Breitbart slime covering it. Had the story been reported by just about anyone else, I would have supposed it was true.
yeah your mrs is exactly right.
for this lady at least (and this lady has been in many compromising positions) there was no question he was lying.
i remember thinking this AM: i'm really glad that weiner story has disappeared b/c he's hiding something.
sorry boys, we know.
Does this mean Andrew Breitbart isn't an asshole? Didn't think so.
Weeping Weiner. Just fucking great. Fox news is going to be insufferable this week.
More so than usual?
I see what you did there.
Luckily, you were blessed with a functioning brain, so you can turn it the fuck off.
I don't know, I think that is kind of a win. Poor Faux viewers are going to subjected to that picture for days.
This week?
I don't find Fox Nooz to be insufferable at all. I never watch it. It's like a vampire…it can't hurt me if I don't invite it in.
No more "Holy shit!" for me. I'm using "Weeping Weiners!" from now on.
TThe correct answer to all questions is, "Did you see the pic? How could I note show that majestic cock to anybody who asked?"
Thing is, it didn't start or end at any natural point of a normal person's anatomy. Or was the perspective just that far out of whack?
I agree. Of course it could have ended anywhere. (Within reason.) But starting in the middle of the thigh? I'm know expert, but I thought 'dildo'.
After his display at the press conference, I again think 'dildo'.
As $P once famously said, “where's the dildo?”
I can't believe I wrote, "I'm KNOW expert…"
I must have caught some Palinitis from the Paul Revere brouhaha.
It is taken from off center, but to me and my harem of hundreds of women, that's exactly what an erect schlong looks like in the right kind of boxers. But I don't mean to brag.
Who will poor Rachel Maddow get to parrot her libtard theology now?
Do the tidy whiteys mean he is surrendering?
Huma will most likely chop it off, so he probably won't have to worry about it anymore.
The religious ramifications here are gonna be overwhelming, her being a Muslin and him being a Joo…
There is NOT ONE flaccid wiener in the Fox News cubicles right now.
"Hey, quit ringin' those balls… I can't concentrate."
Good. You finally admitted it, Tony. You've admitted that you're not just "progressive"… but you're sexually aggressive.
THAT'S the way I like my Democrats now. Quit all this pussy -footin' around and own up to it. In fact, I insist that Barry bow up Michelle in the rose garden today.
deit: They're not all of age? THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT, TONY, GOD DAMN YOU.
Dammit. WTF, you idiot? And after some of us defended you. Just fuck off and resign and make it quick.
How long has this guy been married? Yeah. "Baby I'm through with love."
Politics is show bizness for ugly people. If he were an actor or an athlete, noone would care. Why the frooforaw, just because he's a politician?
Breitbart is gonna learn that people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
Breitbart is an asexual, intoxicated turd. Those are not stones he throwing.
"Breitbart is gonna learn that people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones."
I hope you are not saying that we'll get to Britard's weiner soon…isn't his face bad enough?
Adds new meaning to D-Day.
I'm glad I'm not an (Oscar Meyer) Weiner….
If it looks like a dick and talks like a dick, he's a dick.
Then he needed to put bells on his wiener.
Somebody should. Huma?
Yet again, some men cannot help but be the cause of their own undoing.
"…undoing"? I'm sorry, but I have to ask: is that so subtle you wanted to – ahem – slip it in?
Like the rest of you, couldn't care less about Weiner (it's a safe seat), am depressed that Breitbart will spin his 1-for-19 win/loss record (as of today) and that the MSM will buy it.
NY-26 was a safe seat for the opposition, too…
I was actually pretty proud of the way the handled Megyn Kelly (sometime back). He kept up and made his points even though the hag interrupted him….often.
Hmmmmm. What a dope, Weiner. You screwed up.
Dumb to do it. Dumb to drag it out this long. 1000 times dumber if he resigns.
And the worst aspect is not the insult to his wife or his constituents. 'Vindicating' Breitbart is worth Weiner getting bitch-slapped repeatedly and publicly. For months to come.
BTW, what is it with dudes, dicks, and cameras?
I actually think that dudes who use cameras to communicate are afraid to talk to a live woman. I admit it is scary facing all that rejection, but it is safer: it doesn't leave a record that makes you look like a sociopath. Besides which if you do this when your married you're indefensibley fuckedup.
I said it somewhere else, and maybe it's mostly my generation, but it seems that nearly everyone has some kind of sexual pic on their phone these days. Women text photos of their boobs to their husbands, boyfriends, aquintences etc…all day long. It's not just a guy thing, though I'm sure we're more likely to do it than women. I think it's a generation thing.
exactly.
for all you olds out there, it's the equivalent of sending saucy telegrams back in your day.
dot dot dot ooooohh dash dot dot…
OK, now that made me laugh. (In the midst of a sea of things making me cry at the moment.)
In my case, chiseling some saucy runes into stone tablets.
In my case, dick pics were sent via the Puny Express.
I have to say……hearing outrage from the likes of some of the sad perverts who inhabit this glorious page really has my cognitive dissonance ringing like Paul Revere's Brit Warning bell.
Let he/she who has never done something morally questionable…..you know, like post here…..cast the first stone.
You go, Weiner. You were a Mensch today.
Um, what about the misleading prevaricating he did for the last week?
Aw, you poor thing. I know it hurts when a politician or anyone else lies to you about something that is personal and embarrassing to them You so have the right to be told the truth. You know, like about Iraq, Afghanistan, the Gulf Oil Leak, and just about every goddamn story in the last 10 years that is more important than this. Apology, my ass! LET'S LYNCH HIM!!!
Also, please tell me when your canonization will be. Someone as self-righeous as you really needs a parish named for you.
The Wiener broke the First Rule: Don't Get Caught!
And Subsection (8): Don't put anything on the inter-tubes you don't want seen on the front page of the NYTs.
And (19): Don't lie about shit that can be proven true.
I actually stopped hitting on women when I got married also. I actually don't think that is too much to ask.
His seat in congress is safe, but he is not going to be Mayor of NYC, and that pisses me off.
Not that it matters, but I do think texting pictures of your junk is creepy, and I can't imagine it gets you laid, which was suppose to be the point, right?
From the mouth of A. Weiner: "I haven't told the truth and have done things I deeply regret. I brought pain to people I care about." He later said: "This was a very dumb thing to do."
No judgment or stone-throwing from this sad pervert/poster, but what he did was really really stupid. ☹
Yeah, it was stupid. If I thought most of the people here hadn't done something equally as stupid in their lives at one point, I might have even held back from registering my dissonance. The fact is, he's human and showed it in full glory. I just think everyone is pissed because he didn't give the reporters any ground to go to.
Agreed, and this to shall blow over. He'll still be a congresscritter and his wife will probably get a really big diamond. Hey, he should ask Kobe where he got the bling for his Mrs.!
AS said above, I'll forgive him everything but apologizing to Breitbart and making him look like more than the scumbag he is.
Okay, it doesn't rise to the level WMD or TEPCOO lying about how badly Fukushima is melting down. But, still… Apologizing to Breitbart? Arggghhh.
Breitbart was right there in the press corps. He kind of had to. The most touching part was watching that good Christian go up and tearily hug Weiner, in a touching display of humanity.
"…good Christian go up and tearily hug Weiner…"
Sorry but I read "tug Weiner"…
wearily tug.
Ugh. I haven't seen that. Don't know if I could watch. It would be like Saw X. (Or whatever Roman numeral they're up to now.)
But he still didn't have to apologize to Breitbart. It's private, consensual behavior, and it has no bearing on his job and no value as news. Breitbart is a sick little panty-sniffer, and that's the best that can be said about him.
Oh please. He was not a Mensch. He was exactly what it always said on the tin. Just because he's a Dem doesn't mean he didn't fuck up.
Unless you're shopping at Payless or Walmart, nothing costs $20 anymore.
Especially don't buy the ones that look like running shoes, with the two velcro straps. They only cost $12 but they fall apart within pretty much days. Get yourself a pair of $30 Avias from J.C. Penney instead, you will be able to walk a thousand miles in them.
MallWart Sux, also.
"One if by can, two if by wee-wee!"
Wait, isn't that backwards?
The Repubelickin' cure for crap like this is to just say "I have found Jebus and so everything is cool, right? Cuz Jebus carries all our sins and so we can do anything we want. Right?" And then all the nice brainwashed churchers cry and forgive them. But I kinda doubt that ploy will work for a Dem.
Or for a Jew.
Geez, a lifetime of overcoming dick jokes only to make himself into one voluntarily. Hope the phone sex was worth your career, dumbass!
I'll forgive the Weiner pic; I'll eventually forgive you horribly botching the cover-up; maybe I'll forgive you for that fucking terrible press conference.
Any, I'll never forgive you for singling out an apology to Andy Breitbart. NEVER
Yeah, that's the part where Weiner really should've said, "And hey, folks, get a load of this guy, who seems to love me so much he's collecting photos of me! Seriously, Andy, I'm flattered, but you really should pay more attention to that O'Keefe kid of yours; I think he's jealous."
I have to agree. That smug, internet-tough-guy, wingnut welfare shit had just about finished disgracing himself out of the news, and finally he gets this score.
Now CNN is going to be plastering his ugly mug all over the place.
~
There was absolutely no – ZERO – need to single out an apology to Andy, even if prodded by the media scrum to do so. Maybe, especially if the the media scrum wanted him to do so. There was absolutely zero need to go into any further detail beyond that he sent the pic. He didn't need to tell us there were more photos, who he thought the women were, his wife's reaction, etc…that stuff has absolutely no bearing on the current issue. But yet he sang and sang and sang some more.
Weiner was dumb enough to call AB a liar on national TV when he knew that AB could be proven right.
Very bad move, Very bad judgement, the actual apology doesn't matter, but Weiner is the fuck up who rehabilitated AB, that's what we are going to have to live with.
No the apology does matter. It's the cherry on top. He didn't owe him anything. In politics, you don't give your enemies anything more than you absolutely have to. I don't care about the morals of this, politically, he didn't owe Andy a personal apology, period.
Was this picture unsolicited by the recipient?
Does the recipient work for him?
Was the recipient under the legal age of consent?
Did federal and/or campaign money get spent to send this picture?
If the answer to all of these questions is "no," who the fuck cares beyond his wife and her lawyer?
Those are great questions which Weiner should have answered before going on national media and lying about it, with a dickish storey about not knowing if it was him in the photo.
(Does anyone solicit junk shots? Really . . . Really?)
"(Does anyone solicit junk shots? Really . . . Really?) "
Apparently you haven't met the right kind of girl. Or boy.
Yeah, it does happen. The main problem is guys going all Clarence Thomas and assume the recipient is "asking for it."
Just what is Breitbart's relationship with alcohol? We need to get that story from a couple of weeks ago out there, Ken. If we can't have the video, let's at least have the play-by-play.
If you don't give us the juicy details, we'll make some up.
That video is out there somewhere. I am sure Andrew would be happy to apologize for his poor choices, too.
Pleez, pleez, PLEEZ! I have been begging for that video forever! THis would be the moment to reveal it in all its glory. Pretty pleez?
Jeebus drank the wine, so he would forgive the boozing. But he never twitted pics of his package. It's in the Bible. I'm pretty sure.
So Weiner got a little too cocky. What a dick.
Too soon?
M'kay. My bad.
Guys do this kind of stuff all the time. I really don't care.
Exactly. At least he had the good sense to keep his underwear on.
I am glad that I am old and myfacebook and twitter friends don't do this.
Yeah, being an oldz and watching all this go down you think–Damn people actually get SO horny that they do ridiculous things like this? Amazing.
Speak for yourself, you two. I'm an Old and am horny enough to do something outrageous.
Fuck, I can't believe that now I will have to look back on this enough to figure out what the fuck you are all talking about. I hate having to stoop to reading about weiner scandals. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.
yeah I am still trying to figure out how that pick is obscene, except maybe that this guy's boner is super left-wing if you know what I mean.
Do elected officials simply not understand how Twitter works? It would never occur to me to use Twitter to send photos of my lady bits to anyone. There are so many other options. including not sending photos of my privates AT ALL.
Not that I have a problem with sexy time pixx. It's just that if I were an elected official… wlel, I guess it's a good thing I'm not, eh?
It really demonstrates why politicians should have a trusted advisor handling all their media.
If Weiner would have went to his media rep. and said, "Hey, I have some great pictures of my crotch that I'd like to send to some of my twitter followers. What do you think?" The advisor would have smacked his genitals with his iPad, and we wouldn't be here today.
YES. Do you think we could all get jobs as political advisors? I would charge a very reasonable rate to tell people what a horrible fucking idea they just had.
If I get to smack their genitals with an iPad, I'd work for free.
With high heels on?
Handling "all their media"? Is that what the kidz are calling it now?
You got my vote…
Please annie send pics of your pretty parts — I prefer sheer fabrics, ; )
It'd sure make up for the Brightfart gloating we're going to have to endure for the next
fortnightmillennium.Seriously now, have you ever heard of a female, that you would want to go out with, asking for a junk shot?
I have a hard time imagining that, but maybe I've been out of the scene for too long.
Next week Anthony begins his new spokesman gig for Trojan Magnum.
http://www.hulu.com/watch/112671/parks-and-recrea...
Everyone sing along…
"Oh, I wish I were an An-thony Weiner,
That is what I'd truly want to be,
'Cause if I were an An-thony Weiner,
Everyone would Tweet photos of me!"
If I had to have my bris in front of the whole country, I'd cry too.
I seem to remember that Clinton had a rise in the polls after his sex scandal was pooped out. It was mostly women who were satisfied with him. He stuck it out and stiffened his resolve. He remained steely and firm in his efforts to get a grip on things. He used every tool that he could get his hands on. And he made the voters happy in the end because they had held their hand under him as the Republicans tried to blow his chances.
I think Weiner should just stand erect until this blows over.
meh…won't be the first time in history that a man is in trouble because of his penis. NEXT!
If I did, I would be able to "say with certainty" if it was mine or not.
But. no. No, I haven't.
I am almost 60- my most revealing on-line photo has me wearing bermuda shorts and I don't wear sleeveless tops.
There's lotsa flip-flops available for cheaps, I hear. Oh, wrong congressman.
If my dick was that big, I would suffer from overconfidence, too.
We gonna get a lot of Breitbart trolls in here, then? Because, you know, they need to dredge up this kind of bullshit to take people down, since their own candidates are so braindead duckfuckingly stupid that they can't string together coherent sentences.
Yup. i am already going to town.
Quick, somebody edit Weiner's Wikipedia entry to say that he was trying to warn the Brits!
"The Twitters are cuming. The Twitters are cuming."
Not to mention then Ensign's "affair" was not exactly consensual. He's definitely the worst of them.
Agreed. He was coercive.
Fuck this noise.
If Weiner wants to live up to his name he just should say, "yeah I send the bitchs who constantly hound me a pix of my junk. How else could I get these groupies?"
As for Breitfart, he needs a big kick in the balls. Twice. And if I could put my hand to him, he'd be my crying bitch, no shit.
remember: Musuclar progressive. Let's not take any shit anymore, eh?
"…Self-medicates, total cliche, this guy. He's a strung-out, washed-up, has-been, jerk, snitch fuckin' drunk seven-layer loser. Right. And I'm prayin' he puts up a fight. Please please please. Rape him! If it's possible. Punch him in the seat if it's possible. Hit him in the brown. I don't know. Anyway…"
-Rip Reed
I'm in!
He fired off a warning shot on his stomach.
Can any of the homies here testify that if you send dickpix to some chick that it got you laid? Why do the brothers do this? Really this is your game? WEAK…. It's like a phishing scam sooner or later some chick is going to respond to a dickpix or the Prince of Zumunda and his held up fortune. You suck Weiner you were supposed to be the chosen one you were supposed to bring balance to the force……
I try to get my boyfriend to send me pictures of his dick, but he won't do it because he is already getting laid. I'm still mad at myself for putting out before getting the dick pix.
Honestly? It actually worked for me once. It was only delivered on request, though. Sending an unrequested dick pic is like saying "nice shoes, bitch, wanna fuck?"
I once ate a steak dinner while using Yahoo chat, and sent out a message saying "now showing meat on cam!!!"
Several persons reported they found it amusing.
Well, to be honest, you usually need to put on a show on a livecam to actually get laid.
Hmm, where the hell did I put that QuickCam?
For reals. When Weinergate broke, I assumed the whole thing was bullshit, not because I couldn't believe a congressman would do something stupid like that, but because it was reported on Breitbart.
Color me shocked, with a broken clock.
That last time I saw a Wiener grilled like that … was… well… last Sunday, on my patio.
I blame The Steves. We all should be made to do all computing under professional supervision in public areas at the public library.
And wait it out – Ensign didn't resign until the last possible frigging minute.
Ensign did not resign until he knew they were recommending expulsion.
Honestly, I didn't see it coming – unlike most other ladies in the triState area!
Actual tearful teevee apology [a href=
"http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/video/rep-anthony-weiners-emotional-apology-twitter-picture-13775860"]here[/a]. This video is for sadists only.
The shameful thing is that Weiner has to do this. In Europe, it would cause a few giggles, but no one would give a damn.
At least we know Weiner is still a Democrat: he sent his dick pics to a woman.
I just keep thinking this is something a 12 year-old would do to show off to his friends. Or maybe a frat boy. or is congress really a fraternity?
Pics of an underweared dick or a grown man shirtless in a bathroom trying to get some sexytime are not nearly reason enough to resign.
BUT! The fact that Breitbart trolls are now going to come over to our little Wonkette Oasis of Sanity and spew their ugliness now that their overlord has been vindicated is utterly craptastic.
Some people like living on a cul-de-sac. It's comforting.
Actual tearful video apology here. For sadists only. Thirty second commercial first.
http://maddowblog.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/06/06/...
No commercial for me.
I…I can't. Not now. (sob sob sob). Maybe in a day or two. Hand me a tissue, will ya?
Nobody wants to see a talking weiner on television!
Well, there's Eliot Spitzer. Oh, wait. . . this isn't 2007, is it?
Remember how awful the press was when the Ensign shit came out? How aggressive it was? and how it dominated the news for weeks? You don't? Me fucking neither.
Remember how Breitbart was all over that story? No? Nevermind.
Me too.
You're right. Even "look better" would be wrong because he is such a black hole of Suck that any change would be imperceptible.
Still don't care. It's really too bad I took Spanish in high school, I hear France is the place to be if you just don't give a shit about politicians' sex lives.
Unfotunately, they also don't seem to care about powerful men's rape lives, paying for child prostitute lives, drugging and sodomizing 13 year olds…
I was about to bring that up. It seems that their permissiveness goes a bit too far in the other direction, over there.
Clit pics are too hard to take. Now anyone who wants to post boob shots, feel free. Except you, Pelosi.
sure looked like that worked for Anthony.
Crying- what a baby! I learned you never cry about work in public(and I am a woman). And his wife should divorce him now before she finds out what other shit he pulled.
You girls are right, junk tweeting is just stupid.
Email it instead. gullywompr@junkcollector.com.
Oh, wait………Now I get it.
I make sure I photoshop any associated items in the frame to 50 percent. So by contrast……………………
Proof positive that the baby Jeusus loves NYC Bike lanes.
#couldabeenacontender
We all know that it is only a matter of time before Breitbart gets caught doing something FAR more hideous than this crap. The guy is an evil little brat.
He is savoring the weiner today.
Ironically enough, his wife works for Hillary:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huma_Abedin (and the entry still intact, somehow!).
The Ween hasn't been married a year, and already he's twatting his genitalia on the innertubes. Nice.
From CBS News: The House Code of Conduct reads in part, "A Member, Delegate, Resident Commissioner, officer, or employee of the House shall behave at all times in a manner that shall reflect creditably on the House."
Haha, it's funny because I'm pretty sure that there would be no Congress at all if we actually stuck to those rules.
I'd feel like Diogenes going through the smart phone memories of all of the house members and their staff…….boob and dick pics galore.
Considering this and several similar stories, maybe the term 'smart phone' isn't particularly apt.
Wait, is the theory that his peen reflects poorly on the rest of the House… because… all of the rest are far more miniscule / limp?
I think there's a loophole in the Y-front!
That's funny, I thought the weinerpix reflects perfectly on the credit of the House.
I thought it was funny because it started with "Member."
I think we've finally found the definition for squirmish.
I can't tell if that is snark or not.
It is not intended to be a factual statement. Probably all true, though, and it will have to do until we get the real story of the tantalizing missing video of drunk Breitbart.
C'mon, Ken.
He claimed that his wife wasn't going to leave him.
I picture Huma and Hils getting together, getting fucking rip-roaring drunk, and talking about how you just can't fucking trust a Democratic male politician, and then having an awkward conversation about how being a lesbian might be so much easier, before passing out on the floor of their New York City hotel suite.
HA HA, expect your comment to be plagerized and then reposted from wingnut to wingnut until–voila!–it's the lead story on Newsmax tomorrow.
Oh, any old tablet would do. Another good option would be my old Compaq Presario laptop. The thing weighs a ton.
Kind of ironic that in a little over an hour we have posted more comments about Weiner and his weiner than have been posted about things like that 1% of the people in the world control 40% of the wealth. Guess this just proves we're all in on a good dick joke.
In other news, Palin got the Paul Revere ride history right.
Harold Camping was right. The Judgement Day happened, and now God is just fucking with us.
Duh Guv'Nor said "And I know my American history.”
I'm sure she does. What she doesn't seem to know is everyone else's American history.
If you were God, wouldn't you be fucking with us? We'd totally deserve it.
So it's anti-Semetic to say Netanyahu's a douche, but it's fine to harrass the skinny Jewboy with the acerbic tongue and the bulge in his crotch. Got it.
Very stupid. But nothing is too stupid when a guy thinks with his little head.
Shit's free there… for politicians.
Teh Joos do tend to get off on guilt, no?
Larry Craig was arrested and convicted of trolling for random gay bathroom sex in the Minneapolis International Airport and still is hanging in there.
He's the new Lee Atwater.
Minus the soul.
Would you hit on it?
Here's to our next erected official!
Edwards/Weiner 2016 !!!!!
"And now he must resign or be put in prison or something, because that’s how justice works, and everyone is so gross"
Except if you're a Republican and you get caught with a hooker who likes to get you off in a diaper.
Then, it's like, Party on Garth!…
To be fair, I doubt that the hooker liked it so much.
It's all about the latinum…
Metaphorically fuck Breitbart and Weiner.
If Weiner resigns exactly nothing of importance happens–it is as if his district will suddenly become Republican–at least not as long as the Repubs insist that the best way to save Medicare is to destroy it.
Today, a proud Wiener hangs his head in shame.
Best post in this whole frickin' thread! LMAO!!!
I'd vote for him, but I'd be swearing at him while I did it. Yeah, I'm voting for you, ya dumb fuck.
Well I guess he is more Weiner and less Anthony.
Some people who are familiar with anonymous sources who are connected to unnamed sources that may, or may not, have any connection of a tangential nature to Breitbart suggest that he is a 'perfect storm' of evil; a delusional sociopath with a penchant for sadism and exhibitionism that has sufficient resources to fully pursue the annihilation of people who hold views that differ from his.
Oh, they also say he has one of the worst cases of Peyronie's disease that physicians have ever seen.
Great, thanks – I went to google images to look it up..
I believe we are still owed some video of Breitbart from a few weeks back.
Yup. I have $10 for that.
Hell, screw that. We ought to start a fund to put a bounty out on anything that could nail the fucker. Photos, e-mails, phone calls, videos. I know I'd contribute. Shit, I'd probably contribute monthly until somebody collected.
I had the joy of watching Fox News while waiting for my car to get fixed earlier and saw Breitbart rambling on like he was on a bad meth binge. It was really odd, he was swaying back and forth and muttering. Since I do not normally watch television, I do not know if the drunk autism act is normal behavior him or not, but it was still really weird.
The aforementioned sources would like to correct an earlier misstatement. They report that the conservative monster does not, in fact, suffer from Peyronie's disease, but rather from aphallia.
I also looked that up, although I had guessed its meaning correctly. Much better disease for him. But he can still be caught in a humiliating sex scandal, even without a peen, can't he?
I mean, according to those aforementioned sources?
Some people say, "There's always frottage!"
Syria: Troops Killed In Clashes
Portugal: Socialists Lose Power
Chile: Volcano "About To Blow"
Yemen: Revolution Not Finished
USA: Man With Cock Cries, Wants Sex
I'd at least be a willing recipient, so it'd be consensual…
Al Franken?
Oh, fuck me with a chainsaw, you're right.
Al Franken sex scandal in 3… 2… 1…
Quick, some Wonketteer needs to suck Breitbart's flaccid member and take pictures. Anyone…??
Drueller? Drueller?
BTW, I'm trying to figure out why anyone here would even have the word "resignation" on their tongue, or any Democrat for that matter. Nothing here rises to that level. Resignation is for when you've done something pretty obviously illegal, or done something so incredibly hypocritical that you couldn't ever be taken seriously again in politics. There is nothing that Weiner has done that would justify even discussing the possibility of resignation.
He didn't do anything illegal, and he's not a "family-values" conservative, so why are there Democrats even saying the word "resignation"? Why is this even being discussed as a legitimate option? Let's drop that, already.
The dude is guilty of being of getting caught and being a long-winded cad. Oh, and pathetic and horrible in terms of handling "scandal." That's it.
That might be true if it hadn't been for his decision to launch a juggernaut campaign on chat shows to try to defend himself with lies. That was sociopathic of him, and it makes me doubt his every action, and worry for him as a person. Dems don't need that. He's probably hurting other people by staying on, but I'm OK with giving him some time to work out a lucrative sinecure working for Google or some such.
Agreed. He lied to us. He's not going to be effective anymore. He has to go.
probably because the other NY Rep who was caught doing this sort of thing resigned right quick.
Now we know the Congressman dresses on the left.
So?
No, the right thing – at least for, and particularly for, his caucus, politically – would have been to release a statement (simple, detailed, his choice), not to answer every single illegitimate question about his entire sexual history. (i.e. did you know the age of the women, how long did this go on for, what was your wife's reaction, do you apologize to Andrew Breitbart, etc…) The media is never sated. Never, so you don't keep giving lurid details, period. This is just simple scandal-handling 101.
I cannot believe I've been just sitting here, waiting for the sexting from my pretend boyfriend. If I had a phone that made such a thing possible, or used Twitter, I guess I would've had to face the fact he was being pretend unfaithful to me.
A woman has her pretend pride, and you know what that means? I have to pretend break up with him. First David "You're Welcome" Schuster disappears from the airwaves, now this. I'm just going to take Matthew Morrison's word that he is straight and make him my pretend one-and-only.
I hope you're pretend happy, Anthony. You have no one to pretend blame but yourself.
Gov. Christie also took pics of his tool and sent them to himself, so he can see it.
#Grossgrossgross!
Please be aware that Mr. Christie never photographed his penis. This photo was merely depicting a popcorn shrimp or two that Mr. Christie dropped at lunch, which had gotten lodged in a fold of skin. Only one with a mind in the gutter could imagine the subject was actually his crotch area.
Thank you for not making an issue of this.
Spokesman for Gov. Christie
Of course not. I'm so old that when I was young and slender and drunk enough to do such a thing, the technology wasn't available. And Polaroids made that cheesy sound. Oops. I hope that asshole burned those photos, the way he promised he would.
Given how smart and funny he has proven himself to be, this could've been dealt with by saying, "My own, minor celebrity went to my head and I got a little cocky. No puns intended. I am very sorry, especially to my wife and my constituents, that I made such a complete fool of myself. I am such a putz."
I'm glad I missed the press conference. Crying? Saying he's going to see a psychologist? Please, not the sex addict bullshit. Who is he, that black golf dude? Weiner has really disappointed me, both with sending these pictures and then handling it so poorly. How can anyone so smart be so dumb?
Exhibit A of why you don't keep giving the media extra rope to help hang yourself:
CBS Evening News just compared this to Eric Massa, Chris Lee, John Ensign, and David Vitter. Forget that these are all that Massa are "family values" Republicans – and that Eric Massa was actually being sued, I think, for his behavior taking this way above the level of Weiners issue – the media doesn't make these distinctions.
Once you make the mistake of lying and finally get caught, the next best thing to do is to simply give the media only what is relevant to the immediate story and that's fucking it. Minimize the damage to your family, staff, constituents, and brand and then stop. fucking. talking.
And Mark Sanford. Guy could NOT stop talking. A local minister was interviewed and said, "We're praying that he'll stop talking soon."
I'd totally forgotten about Mark Sanford. This is a lot like that. There comes a point where these really is such thing as TMI.
We all got dick-rolled.
"Congressman Weiner, Larry Flint on line one."
Boy, that was my first thought as well: What a DICK! I mean, whoa, that's some dick. By which I mean he has a really big dick.
And that's why Tony Weiner has won. It doesn't matter if his career in politics is finished. It doesn't matter if his marriage is in tatters. It doesn't matter if they send him to jail. All that matters is that the whole world knows he has a big dick. What he was trying to accomplish metaphorically through the accumulation of power, prestige, and wealth, he has now accomplished literally. He has proven he has a big dick.
What, you thought this was some sort of accident or "gaffe?" If my dick were that big, I'd have done the same thing. Weiner wins the week.
Um, Max…that's 'big'?
We should talk.
Did you see the picture? That thing was well over three inches.
Jim McGreevy?
Don't even
Why do guys always think women WANT to see pictures of their dick?
See: definition of "guy" in dictionary.
Boner goes up, boner goes down… no one knows why it happens…it just does…
Sometimes it takes a big douche to clean up after a big dick.
It's more accurately spelled "wiener" (a person from Vienna (Wien) in German). And this dude's name should really be pronounced "whiner". Not much of an improvement, I'll grant you, but it might have prevented some dick jokes. Hell, you're practically a walking target when you walk around calling yourself "weener".
how much time must you have on your hands, or anything else…
in fairness, a "camel toe" tweet would be a more precise equivalent.
There's a line?
this is just a sex scandal. this is not watergate.
WTF?
Come on, where have you been? Repubs run the news cycle. One prostitute diaper baby republican senator, one trolling for man meat in a bathroom republican senator, and a trolling for convincing trannies republican congressmen is 1/10000 as important as one democrat looking for straight up, normal, sexytime online chat.
If the dick pix aren't enhanced, then all I can say is "God Save the Queen".
Congressman Weiner says he never had a chance, considering his last name; vows to have it legally changed to the more descriptive "Anthony Dumbass".
Weiner really should have been more circumspect.
Ed Zachery…
ass-u-me?
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