gold medal in dumb

Sarah Palin Also Wrong About Everything Else She Says On Dumb Bus Tour

Her hilarious re-imagining of American History is getting most of the lulz right now, but a guy called “Fact Checker” at the Washington Post has put together a semi-comprehensive list of other major falsehoods the Wasilla Grifter has jabbered into microphones since renting that tour bus.

Things she either willfully misrepresented or never comprehended in the first place include U.S. aid to Egypt, China’s holdings of U.S. treasuries, and Social Security — calling it “underwater” like her mortgage, probably, when it’s fully funded until 2036 and 75% funded through 2085, when Sarah Palin will be finally be dead like the rest of us. [Washington Post]

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  • Barb

    Maybe a new pair of glasses, that she doesn't need to wear, will make her smarter.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      But will they help her to distinguish between smart and smartass?

      • Barb

        With her head up her ass? Who knows?

        • jus_wonderin

          "Oh, that's where I left those."

    • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

      The bigger boobs only made her a bigger boob.

    • Arken

      I remember when Bill Hemmer did that right when he was picked to co-host the ill-fated CNN American Morning show. It didn't make him any less stupid. I hear he's at Fox News these days, where he belongs.

    • Not_So_Much

      Only thing I can think of to make a last-ditch effort to jump start her brain would involve something I believe the kids these days call a "donkey punch"…

  • ThankYouJeebus

    You laugh, but she was the lead contributor to the Texas schoolbook rewrite.

    • real_dc_native

      Now that is truly frightening. Wasn't Texas going to secede? One more empty promise from the media, death panels, Texas secession, etc.

  • SexySmurf

    Listen my children and you shall hear,
    Lou Sarah talking out her rear.

    • jus_wonderin

      That made the Who's in Whoville shiver.

    • http://www.acepilots.com/wwi/can_bishop.html WABishop

      I regret that I have but one upfist to give to that comment.

  • Goonemeritus

    She even managed to find mediocre Pizza in Manhattan which takes some doing.

    • mavenmaven

      Trump was telling her to fork off.

    • horsedreamer_1

      She had to support Papa John after he pulled the ads from mean ol' Wonkette.

      • http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Armus UpFistTroll

        Hey, by the way, why isn't Wonkette dead yet? I was assured by several meth-addled lemurs from Big Gummint that Wonkette was going to be slapped by the invisible hand.

        What's the matter? Can't those little impotent tools bring down one tiny little liberal website? Must feel so awful to have so little power!

    • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

      In NYC, she coulda gotten some Godfather's pizza from an actual Godfather.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Not even mediocre, to hear Jon Stewert tell it. If you can't at least go to one of the one million or so Rays variations, you suck.

      It would be like going to Chicago and eating crappy Little Ceaser's or Godfather's. (BTW, I'm still pissed at my wife's family for ordering a thin crust pizza the last time I was in town, seeing as how I'm moving 2000 miles from real deep dish (while still being several hundred miles from Zachary's of Berkeley).

  • CapeClod

    These so-called facts she's supposed to be getting wrong all come from the "Blame America" version of history.

    • charlesdegoal

      Her minions (or whatever) now seem to try and edit Wikipedia entries to agree with her version of the facts.

      • widestanceroman

        Just as they did after her VP announcement.

        Idol worship is a helluva drug, man.

  • charlesdegoal

    It's quite remarkable that her ignorance seems to span the entire realm of human knowledge.

    • SexySmurf

      Snowbilly is a Renaissance Women. And by that I mean, like the majority of the European population during the Renaissance, she spends her days shoveling bull shit.

    • jus_wonderin

      Universal or Quantum Ignorance?

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    "Fact Checker" must be a glutton for punishment. She sounds like cats having sex.

    • DaRooster

      Sure does sound like a lot of work…

    • horsedreamer_1

      Who would think that The Washington Post would offer the clear-eyed antidote to the weasels at PolitiFiction?

      I strongly suggest Richard Cohen & George Will strangle to death whoever wrote this tripe.

    • user-of-owls

      She sounds like cats having sex.

      …with wounded hyenas.

  • http://www.frso.org/index.htm 4TheTurnstiles

    Does she still beat Santorum in a one-on-one… or does she leave that mess for Todd to clean up?

  • SorosBot

    The Fact Checker guy should be fair to Sarah; there's a good chance she's not lying but is just so stupid she honestly believes what she's saying because she's just repeating the talking point lies she heard on Rush and his Alaskan equivalent.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Almost forty years ago, the Firesign Theatre cut an album with a title that totally describes woman, "Everything You Know is Wrong."

    "Dogs flew spaceships! The Aztecs invented the vacation! Men and women are the same sex! Our forefathers took drugs! Your brain is not the boss! Yes! That's right! Everything you know is wrong!"

    • http://wonkette.com/ Monsieur_Grumpe

      They are all Bozos on that bus.
      A million upfists for anyone who quotes Firesign Theatre!

      • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ SpurningBeer

        There's hamburger all over the highway in Seabrook, New Hampshire.

    • SorosBot

      That's also the title of a song by Weird Al – but Palin's best described by another one of his songs, "Dare to be Stupid".

      • BerkeleyBear

        I love both those tunes, although neither made the cut in his live show here in Springfield last night (yes, I rocked the Weird Al scene with my 13 year old son). He's got a new one parodying Gaga's "Born this Way" that also should apply – "I perform this way". Since I don't think she's as much crazy as lazy and pandering.

    • Steverino247

      Her Press Secretary is Georgie Tyrebiter.

      "Whose behind is the Giant Rat of Sumatra?" Sarah Palin's obviously.

    • prommie

      Its time to betake us to the Hashfire Inn.

  • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    If I were from any of the 15 or 9000 colleges she attended I would burn my degree and then demand to get my money back.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Did anybody think to ask her about Johnny Tremain?

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Needz moar BusNutz. Oh, wait, that bus has all the Nutz it can handle.

  • elviouslyqueer

    when Sarah Palin will be finally be dead like the rest of us.

    If only, but this rancid cuntbag will never die. She's like a scorching case of herpes — going dormant for a while, but then flaring back up when you least expect it.

    • Nothingisamiss

      Seriously…that was the most hopeful statement in the whole piece, and now you've just harshed it all for me.

  • DaRooster

    I really hope that she is driving the bus…

  • neiltheblaze

    Perhaps whoever is bothering to notice should just jot down the things the dimwit has gotten right – it would be a very short list, and would involve the art of dressing a freshly bagged moose in the wild.

    • LetUsBray

      Word is that even when it comes to moose-bagging she's a flagrant fake.

      • neiltheblaze

        Well – I guess being consistently fake is an accomplishment of sorts.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Back in the day, did Lou Sarah rammed a pair of those super absorbent tampons up her nostrils to stop a bloody nose and get toxic brain syndrome?

    • ChessieNefercat

      Well. That would explain so much, wouldn't it?

      Or maybe she did it to stop that whistling through the cavernous spaces noise.

  • Mahousu

    Look, on this 67th anniversary of that great day when Ronald Reagan brought freedom to Europe by invading France and beating the Communists, can't we all put aside our petty obsessions with historical "facts" and just give thanks that American bombs brought down that Iron Curtain? Plus for Winston Churchill; he did something too, I think. Cut our taxes, maybe.

    • AJWjr.

      Churchill brought us nascar, ie: the Winston Cup. And it was a mere 7 years ago yesterday that the zombification of reagan commenced. I love history!

  • hagajim

    How many ways can you spell moron?

    • Sue4466

      I got two: s-a-r-a-h and p-a-l-i-n

  • BaldarTFlagass

    How anyone this stupid has progressed further in life than teary-eyed-TV-preacher's-sidekick/eye-candy or manager of a Long John Silver's is a really telling tale of the Decline and Fall of the American Empire.

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    Mr. Fact C. Checker (IF that is his real name) probably felt (correctly) that checkin' Palin into the boards would be a lot more fun than slogging through the crap on Fred Hiatt's editorial and op-ed pages.
    ~

  • HistoriCat

    It only took them 130 years but they did it.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Monsieur_Grumpe

    It is a good thing that she is not driving the bus. She's not driving the bus right?

  • Ducksworthy

    You guys think this is funny but you know who else twisted all of history into right wing talking points?

    • http://wonkette.com/ Monsieur_Grumpe

      Mr. Peabody and Sherman?

    • PabaBritannica

      Carmen San Diego?

    • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ SpurningBeer

      The Texas and Kansas state boards of education?

    • SenileAgitation

      David Addington?

    • Steverino247

      Joseph Smith?

    • horsedreamer_1

      Ralph Nader?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      The GOP?

    • jodyleek

      Colonel Klink?

      • Nothingisamiss

        He knew NUTHINK!

    • GOPCrusher

      The Discovery Channel?

  • PabaBritannica

    Sarah wonders how the Egyptians are supposed to fight wars and use our foreign aid when they walk around with their arms and hands turned all funny.

  • Sue4466

    Downfisty McTroll needs a life.

    • http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Armus UpFistTroll

      No, it really doesn't. The more effort it expends here the less damage it can do in real life.

  • baconzgood

    SARAH PALIN IS A STUPID CUNT!!!!!!

    (this comment is 100% snark free)

    • GOPCrusher

      But historically accurate.

  • ttommyunger

    Even some of my Rightard friends are grumbling about Sarah now, preaching the virtues of infamous bigot Herman Cain to anyone who will listen to them or read their rants. I gotta say, Obama had the perfect setup for a first-ever black POTUS, but Cain could not have pulled it off in his place. You may recall even blacks had their caste system, still do. Poor Herman wouldn't pass the paper bag test even with his own, and he is way too big, black and scary for the average swing voter to pull the lever for. Mittens is going to get the nod, but I'm betting on a Cain Tea Party run to put Barry in for another four years.

    • SheriffRoscoe

      I've got a few of those friends too. A few of them have soured on Herman Cain though, since he bowed to Political Correctness and reversed his bigotry toward Muslim Americans.

      • GOPCrusher

        It's amazing to hear these people that claim that Sharia Law and Muslims are creeping into our government, but yet they want America turned into a Xtian theocracy.

      • ttommyunger

        That kind of “tell” can't be reversed. That toothpaste don't go back in the tube.

  • freakishlywrong

    Until the ignorant profiteers that are our shockingly lame excuse for a media start ignoring and marginalizing her shit, we're stuck with her until long after Social Security goes "under water".

    • GOPCrusher

      Seriously. Mitt Romney announces his run for President lands on page 3 of the New Hampshire paper, while Sarah Palin gets the front page?

  • http://wonkette.com/ Monsieur_Grumpe

    Speaking of Mr Peabody and Sherman I found this gem which just might explain where Sarah is getting her history.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JeVey3lPEL0

    Enjoy!

    • Steverino247

      I wonder if Todd is a 60 second man…

    • neiltheblaze

      Todd Palin is known as a minute man too – but for different reasons.

  • Weenus299

    Pinocchio is a left-wing fascist.

  • http://thethingsrepublicanshate.com/ Chillwaver

    Silly libruls….every single "Fact Check" can be easily rebutted with the following line:
    "BUT OBAMMUR SAID THERE WERE 57 STATES!!!1!!!!!1"

  • SayItWithWookies

    Y'all are just hatin' on Sarah because she stands up for what's right — when that evil Pope had Galileo arrested because he saw an apple fall from a tree and realized that disease is caused by little tiny germs instead of witches, did Galileo just obediently shut up and not bother anybody again? Why yes he did — which is exactly my point. Or something.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    I'd really like to see her do one of those history-of-technology documentaries, like that James Burke guy did with "Connections" or "The Day the Universe Changed." For the lulz.

  • iburl

    Palin
    Takes me away
    To where I've always heard it could be
    Just a dream and the wind to carry me
    And soon I will be free

    Fantasy
    It gets the best of me
    When I'm Palin
    All caught up in the reverie
    Every word is a symphony
    Won't you believe me

    It's not far back to sanity
    At least it's not for me
    And when the wind is right you can sail away
    And find serenity
    The tour bus can do miracles
    Just you wait and see
    Believe me

  • Arken

    Or a bad campaign.

    • ChessieNefercat

      Or a fucking idiot.

  • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

    I wish someone had asked her about the Boston Tea Party, a subject her TP'er devotees know down to the sub-atomic level*. Hearing her ignorance on that would have been a hoot.
    ___________________
    * of course they don't

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    Not too late to get Lou Sarah to add a chapter on 'Merican prehistory to the Texas school textbooks…

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Some one should ask her about the war that liberated Alaska from the Imperial Russian grasp.

  • jus_wonderin

    Geez, how short is this fucking bus?????????

  • Redhead

    "a semi-comprehensive list of other major falsehoods the Wasilla Grifter has jabbered into microphones since renting that tour bus."

    The WaPo realizes this is nothing new and can basically be applied to everything that's come out of her mouth since McCain plucked her from Alaska and people started actually paying attention to her verbal diarrhea, right? (I know, I know, it's WaPo so no.)

    • SorosBot

      This is the mainstream media; no matter how many times a conservative lies, they will continue to treat everything they say credulously as if the wingnut is acting in good faith (see also: Andrew Breitbart).

  • http://wonkette.com/ FlownOver

    I'm guessing zombie, except for the part about wanting brains.

    • AJWjr.

      They've done her no good in life, so why screw with a sure thing?

  • http://www.acepilots.com/wwi/can_bishop.html WABishop

    The North will rise again!

  • real_dc_native

    I think everyone is missing the point. This is a reality show sponsored by Fox News to generate mindless dribble for them to report. The more outrageous she is the better their ratings are. Then they don't have to report on boring stuff like the destruction of Medicare or cuts to VA benefits.

    We are Rome and she is the circus.

  • RadioJr.

    There is , however, one indisputable fact that she did not get wrong — she QUIIT.

  • Soylent Green

    Sadly, she'll likely host The History Channel before any of us.

    • SorosBot

      Her version of "history" fits right in with shows like Ancient Aliens, The Nostradamus Effect and Only in America with Larry the Cable Guy.

  • easybaked

    You may laugh – but just wait until she strengthens the historic bond with our ally, North Korea, and helps them forge a lasting peace with their neighbors in the Middle East.

  • axmxz

    Someone hold me. Palin got the Paul Revere ride story right.

    I know, I know, broken clock etc. But maybe Harold Camping was right. Maybe the Judgement Day happened, and now we're all in Bizarro World, and God is just fucking with us.

    • PrimlyStable

      "McConville said he also is not convinced that Palin’s remarks reflect scholarship"