the grifters are coming! the grifters are coming!

Palin Tells Paul Revere History Wrong Yet Again

Professor Truth.Grifter queen Sarah Palin took to the Fox News airwaves to defend her “exactly the opposite of what actually happened” version of Paul Revere’s “Midnight Ride” and insisted that she wasn’t wrong on every possible fact of history. He had a horse! No, she did not say that. She admitted to Fox News Sunday host Chris Wallace that, yeah, okay, the Revere guy was trying to warn Americans that the British were coming, sure, but that in doing so, Revere was also mysteriously trying to warn the British. He was just cold warning anything in his path. 

From the NYT:

[Palin] went on: “But remember that the British had already been there, many soldiers for seven years in that area. And part of Paul Revere’s ride — and it wasn’t just one ride — he was a courier, he was a messenger. Part of his ride was to warn the British that we’re already there. That, hey, you’re not going to succeed. You’re not going to take American arms. You are not going to beat our own well-armed persons, individual, private militia that we have. He did warn the British.”

This is still completely factually incorrect, but we can see the historical interpretation she is trying to make. Paul Revere was just yelling warnings at anyone who would listen to him as he toured to secret stops around the Northeast on his bus horse, saving America forever. [NYT]

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    1. Sue4466

      Have to leap to the defense of Mr. Scarecrow here, who may have had a head full of straw but was still miles ahead of Palin in the brains category.

    2. ThankYouJeebus

      The original lyrics seem to fit her perfectly.

      I could wile away the hours
      Conferrin' with the flowers
      Consultin' with the rain
      And my head I'd be scratchin'
      While my thoughts were busy hatchin'
      If I only had a brain

    3. DashboardBuddha

      Given that she's an ignorant lying sack of dung who doesn't have the guts to admit she's wrong AND would steamroll anyone who got in her way, I'd say she has the GOP Trifecta. No brain, no heart, no guts.

  1. CZL

    Some chode in the LA Times tried this same defense. He warned the British that Murica decided taxes were unfair and stifled the genius that is the merchant class.

  2. DaSandman

    American history as filtered through beauty queen blather.

    Hell yeah, lets trust this meth addled twat with the nuclear arsenal. What could go wrong?

    1. KeepFnThatChicken

      I have met many pageant winners. I can assure you that their sphere of influence is an echo chamber, and that if they think it, it's f'real.

    2. ChessieNefercat

      "Hell yeah, lets trust this meth addled twat with the nuclear arsenal. What could go wrong?"

      Global nuclear annhilation? But I'm a pessimist.

      1. HobbesEvilTwin

        global nuclear annhiliation would probably be the better option with that twat in charge.

  3. Captain_Quark

    It really is all about Sarah. Was it Sarah Palin or Jesus who said "Nothing of consequence can ever been accomplished without me, not even by muscular, well-tanned, naked men."?

    1. widestanceroman

      Since there was no PETA then, no one cared that he nailed TruckNutz to the horse's ass (not Palin in this case).

  4. Serolf_Divad

    I love it how Palin turned the British into, basically, an 18th century version of the Brady Center to Prevent Gun Violence.

    It it precisely 0% factual, but will, no doubt, thrill the GOP base.

    She's got the nomination in the bag, folks! Ronmey, Pawlenty, Gingrich et. al. might as well just hang it up and go home. Even insane person Ron Paul isn't insane enough to compete with Palin, though no doubt he'll continue to win every straw poll his zombie Randroid army can flock to.

      1. finallyhappy

        I used to troll at LGF some years ago and then stopped. Did someone take it over? The LGF regulars seemed to be the sort that would bow deeply before the stupidity that is Snowbilly.

    1. UW8316154

      Santorum just announced. Santorum and Palin will fight in the Octagon for the Repubican nomination.

    2. Eve8Apples

      It's a race to the bottom or to the stupid. Whoever can capture the crazy vote gets the GOP nod. If she's in, Lorne Michaels and Tina Fey can laugh all the way to the bank. It will be a comedy gold mine.

  5. Rosie_Scenario

    "Noun + verb + takin' our guns away from us"

    Seems that is the teabagger version of American history. The most important amendment of the Bill of Rights is the second one. They can't even count.

  6. mulletpatriot

    Seems plausible. Although everything I know about Paul Revere, I learned from the Beastie Boys song about him on Licensed to Ill.

      1. finallyhappy

        I saw Paul Revere and the Raiders at Steel Pier. Yes, both Paul Reveres and Steel Pier are well before the time of most Wonketteers

    1. tessiee

      The underpants are to remind her base, whose shriveled-up little gherkins get all excited when she winks at the camera, that she's "hot".

  7. Boredw/Gravitas

    I wish we had a Revere-type warning system in place when Palin was making her way down to the lower 49. Too late now.

    1. user-of-owls

      We did. But alas, they were busy warning the British and taking in the Royal Wedding. With guns.

  8. mavenmaven

    This is her cue to all the militias to rise up and proclaim her Queen, just like Paul Revere prophetically intended.

  9. CapeClod

    Revere also told the British that life begins at conception and that we didn't need any socialized medicine to take care of our olds and our poors.

    1. freakishlywrong

      And that toll booth workers and teachers caused the Great Recession and that taxi cuts create jawbs.

      1. horsedreamer_1

        Exactly. Taxis are a very specialized form of mass transit, & such things* are job-killers.

        *See also: high-speed rail.

      2. mog253

        Teachers have definitely replaced the Cadillac-driving, food stamp-having, Welfare Queens so dearly beloved of RR in the GOP rhetoric.

    2. Beowoof

      Well at common law they did have this belief that life didn't begin until the child was actually born. Crazy isn't it.

    3. krazyvladimir

      After warning the Britts, he did give them a stern lecture about Capital Gains taxes.

  10. Steverino247

    She could have used the stereotypical vet response when asked about Lexington and Concord:


  11. nonbeliever7

    And Paul's famous warning cry was "lower taxes for the wealthy" which immediately scared all the British away.

    1. Serolf_Divad

      Awesome! Learned something on Wonkette that wasn't related to sex toys. Who'd a thunk it!

      1. KeepFnThatChicken

        Honestly, I was hoping to re-play Says You from this weekend. A word in the contest meant "a person who likes other people to stare," but a) fuck if they said it again, and b) I'm not paying a dollar to download it on behalf of Sarah Palin.

        1. tessiee

          "A word in the contest meant "a person who likes other people to stare," but a) fuck if they said it again, and b) I'm not paying a dollar to download it on behalf of Sarah Palin."

          My best guess is "attention whore"; is that disqualified for being two words?

      1. riverside68

        And the corollary (not applicable to Lou Sarah): Smart enough to know that you don't know everything.

      1. fuflans

        i TOTALLY thought of 'the second coming' when i read the wiki description. i love that poem…

        1. Doktor Zoom

          And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
          Slouches towards Wasilla* to give birth?

          * hours after her water broke, and after multiple plane changes in cities that had better facilities

  12. carlgt1

    did you see the lame conservative apologetics in the LA Times ie "Palin is right and you're all DUMB!" Because Paul Revere was captured and was defiantly captured and telling the "British" army of the "American" preparations and how we were going to kick their asses etc. So that "counts" as Palin warning the British. And it also counts for RepugliKKKans using revisionist history yet again, such as when the happy slaves were working on the plantations of their good friends their owners etc.

    1. Tundra Grifter

      Don't forget how the British made Paul climb into a church tower and ring them bells!

    2. WhatTheHolyHeck

      That argument has been all over the interwebs, and the sanctimony has been thick enough to slice. I wonder from which pit of indignant conservatism it sprang forth?

  13. weejee

    What is especially sad to me is that Sarah and her minions are as proud of their ignorance as one might expect someone to be if they had just earned a summa cum laude diploma from a university that is well respected in their field.

    1. PsycWench

      Imagine the diplomas awarded for a degree in ignorance. They would be signed in crayon.

        1. Gleem_McShineys

          The President and Fellows of Dipshit University with the consent of the Honorable and Reverend the Board of Overseers, have conferred


          The Degree of GOING FULL RETARD

    2. tessiee

      "as proud of their ignorance as one might expect someone to be if they had just earned a summa cum laude diploma"

      Ignorance is BETTER than knowledge. Ignorance is for Real Amurrkans [tm], who are morally superior enough to blindly accept anything an authority figure tells them. Diplomas are for queers, jooze, and atheists.

    1. Eve8Apples

      A long time ago, a Wonketteer coined the phrase "word salad" to describe the Chillbilly's linguistic style. I think it is entirely appropriate.

      1. Rayn_And

        I wonder when that line is crossed so even if you agree with everything she says, it becomes too embarrassing to publicly agree with her.

  14. Papa_Uniform

    Ah, Sarah. Working so hard to surpass your own personal best record of galactic stupidity. And succeeding!

  15. Tundra Grifter

    According to the Comments over on Media Matters, there's a Wikipedia battle going on over the Paul Revere page. Apparentlyl the Duh Guv'Nor's fans are attempting to re-write history to match her spin. Talk about a moving target!

    Limey Liz: Here's your chance to win the Revolution! Join in the fun!

    Personally, I'm glad nobody asked her about The Civil War! I'd hate to refight that one.

    PS: How did the British know it was Paul Revere? Because of the huge copy of his signature than ran down the length of his horse? Must be true – I read it on the Internets.

    1. SorosBot

      So once again the wingnuts prove their utter disdain for the truth; not only do they make up history to serve their agenda, but also just to cover for Her Highness' latest fuckup.

  16. elburritodeluxe

    Gun rights, check; big government, check… what about the freedom to make everybody worship Jesus and abortion! Missed some talking points, Sarah!

  17. Oblios_Cap

    Was Word Salad $arah homeschooled? It sounds like she's quoting Conservapedia again.

    1. CapeClod

      I have heard that some of her slavish Morlocks are trying to amend Paul Revere's ride in Wikipedia so that it conforms to her idea of the history of the event.

    2. ChessieNefercat

      "Was Word Salad $arah homeschooled? It sounds like she's quoting Conservapedia again. "

      No, no, Conservapedia relies on derptastic utterings from dunces like Palin to create the entries in their derpidity collection!

  18. user-of-owls

    Ok, so we now enter Week Three of Junior's Audition.

    Junior is this generation's Hundred Year War.

    1. horsedreamer_1

      Which was actually an hundred & sixteen years war.

      I believe that makes your implication a gotcha moment, per Palin logic.

    2. HuddledMass

      Hasn't it been several Juniors? I'm detecting significant variations in style, diction and syntax in their posts.
      Yes, I was an English major, why do you ask?

  19. tcaalaw

    OK, this has been enriched past industrial grade stupidity into weapons grade stupidity. Can we call a drone strike on her now?

  20. freakishlywrong

    Aaaaannnd. Wasillabilly's tortured revision becomes accepted history. You can't even make fun of these assholes. They're too obtuse to realize it.

  21. BlueMonkeh

    There is no hell terrible enough for John McCain as he foisted this derp-brain on us.

    1. ChessieNefercat

      Spending all of eternity manacled at the ankles to Shriekerella? Having to do the nasty (and I do mean that) for all of eternity with that banshee?

  22. Poindexter718

    Only to this incurious alumnus of four different colleges is "What is the meaning of Paul Revere's ride to you?" a "gotcha" question.

  23. metamarcisf

    According to Bob Dylan, Sarah Palin is "the reincarnation of Paul Revere's Horse"; if by "horse" he meant "heroin"

    1. SorosBot

      "The sun isn't yellow, it's chicken" makes a lot more sense than anything that comes out of Sarah's mouth.

    2. riverside68

      Which is why Paul Revere was warning the British to take away our guns: Cause Paul, and the horse he rode in on, were dope fiends! (And a walrus also, and part of the British invasion.)

      For the first time in my life history is starting to make sense.

  24. MiniMencken

    I, for one, just can't wait to read how Harvard alum Bill Kristol is going to explain this away…

  25. Come here a minute

    And now America has been warned that Sarah Palin is an idiot, by Sarah Palin. Will America heed the warning, as the British failed to do before they got a George Washington ass-kicking?

  26. baconzgood

    Makin' up history is a lotter easier than learing it. Look:

    Key Layne and Wonkette Jr., with the help of Neville Chamberlain and Marcus Aurelius, landed on the moon and signed the Treaty of Campo Formio to create China so they could make lead paint toys for freedom truck nutz!

  27. SorosBot

    No one tell Sarah that Paul Revere wasn't even all that important, but just one of several dozen riders who became immortalized because Henry Wadsworth Longfellow because his name rhymed with "hear".

    1. KeepFnThatChicken

      …so these experts also want to fuck Sarah so badly, they'll mar their knowledge base just to preserve her (haha!) integrity?

      1. finallyhappy

        Don't assume they have a wide knowledge base- I have worked with people who know about a very narrow part of their enormous field- but feel qualified to tell everyone else they are wrong about everything in that field.

    2. Arken

      To be fair, they said that isn't really what she meant and she 'got lucky' by stumbling upon an accidental truth.

  28. FNMA

    OK, Sarah, one more time: Paul Revere rode through the countryside warning the British about guns even though he didn't have a head and was called the headless horseman because the Islamic bad guys cut it off and he had to carry his head around under his arm which made it hard to ring the bell and tax cuts and the great Ronald Reagan.
    Jesus Christ, it ain't rocket surgery.

    1. riverside68

      Extra credit fun facts: Later the head was put in a bag and kicked around by horseback, which is when polo was invented, also.

  29. freakishlywrong

    I'm surprised Falin' didn't suggest that Revere was twitterin' the warnings and praisin' the Facebook Revolution of the patriots and the second amendment also.

  30. JoshuaNorton

    The Palin Tragical History Tour.

    Next we find out that "one if by land and two if by sea" was a pizza order.

    To her fans, Old Tundra Tits is never more right than when she is completely wrong.

  31. vodkamuppet

    That's it, anyone I meet in the wild who admits to voting for this twit is getting called a moron, to their face, very often, forever.

    1. KeepFnThatChicken

      We should photograph them, and start uploading 'em to a special liberal Flickr account.


      Memorize 'em, like atheists memorize bible verses. KNOW YOUR ENEMA!

  32. Flat_Earther

    Professor Sarah told Chris Wallace that she ‘knows her American history’. The whole thing was a lame stream media gotcha question. How is she supposed to remember what she read and all this gun shooting, bell ringing lantern waving warn the British stuff.

    1. GOPCrusher

      I only made it through about the first 1 minute of her interview before I had to switch over to Christiane Amanpour and listen to the head douchebag for the US Chamber of Commerce tell us that the reason that 10+ years of Bush Tax Cuts aren't creating jobs, because government won't get out businesses way.
      But it would've been worth the price of admission to see Chris Wallace fight down a laughing fit when she said that.

  33. Beowoof

    At least she didn't say he made pans in China. Which is about where I would expect someone of her competence to fall.

  34. comrad_darkness

    "He was just cold warning anything in his path. "

    May the Blessed Holy Snake-God of Snark bless you for this line.

    1. Weenus299

      What the fuck was he sayin'? "To Arms!" Well, duh, everybody got two arms, so shit I went back to bed.

  35. JoshuaNorton

    Her next lecture series explains how the Founding Fathers met in Philadelphia to invent cream cheese.

    1. SorosBot

      She was here last Tuesday, just a block from my office; I wish I had known, I would have brought eggs.

    2. mereoblivion

      Meanwhile, Lafayette sailed to Fayetteville to invent Neufchatel and win over the farmers.

      1. horsedreamer_1

        At least Lou didn't order hers with elitist Provolone.

        (Of course, if it's so elitist, why does the vendor even offer it as sandwich topping? Is it a trap?)

        1. finallyhappy

          well, really if you have to say more than "wit"- it can be a true Philly cheese steak.

    3. Gopherit

      Would that shiksa ever touch a bagel? I mean, maybe if it would bring Jesus back to fight the muslims in Jerusalem…..but any other day? "There's no sugar on these donuts!"

    4. tessiee

      "the Founding Fathers met in Philadelphia to invent cream cheese."

      That's a deliberate schmear.

  36. Sue4466

    I might have more sympathy for Palin getting all this so completely wrong if she hadn't just been to the historic site and had the opportunity to read and learn what actually had happened. But like every other learning opportunity, she rejected it as elitism and went with her gut. And got it completely wrong for freedom.

  37. BaldarTFlagass

    And she probably learned her History of the West from that old computer game "You Have Died of Dysentery."

    1. horsedreamer_1

      "Levi has impregnated Bristol. Subtract two head of buffalo from rations to account for increased nutrition requirement of pregnancy".

  38. RedNM

    Enough with the weapons grade stupidity. With this inspired explanation, Palin has earned our trust. Now, if only Shepherd Smith would stop describing her as "dumb as a box of tampons".

        1. ChessieNefercat

          He could probably have a more intelligent conversation with a tampon than with Palin. Certainly it would know more US history.

          Hey, I heard she bitched about him in that "interview" (a telepromptered interview?!), but can't bear to listen.

  39. Chillwaver

    "Part of his ride was to warn the British that we’re already there. That, hey, you’re not going to succeed. "
    I'll take famous History Revisionists for 500, Alex…who is Kim Jong-il?

    1. ChessieNefercat

      Q: "I'll take famous History Revisionists for 500, Alex can I call you Alex…who is Kim Jong-il?"

      A: The king of South Korea, uh, South Vietnam!

  40. neiltheblaze

    Whenever the numbskull finds herself in a hole, she just can't refrain from continuing to dig. And she can *never* just say "Gee, I don't know" – she's got this compulsion to bullshit her way through and just say anything that pops into her addled, empty head.

    1. ChessieNefercat

      What's irritating is that part of that compulsion (a primary part?) is to always prove to the questioner that she is smarter than the questioner. Bitch.

  41. GortRay

    Oh Sarah, Sarah, Sarah. Will you ever learn that you can't take episodes of "Scooby Doo" or "The Flintstones" as actual history lessons?

        1. genxr

          For god's sake, don't do that. She'll ride through town firing guns and warning the British. Next thing you know, George Washington was captured and found guilty of treason, and we're still a colony.

    1. tessiee

      "you can't take episodes of "Scooby Doo" or "The Flintstones" as actual history lessons?"

      Yes, she can — and she would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for those meddling reporters.

  42. OC_Surf_Serf

    Hey, Sarah…Paul Revere, Peter Parker, Mulholland Drive…all the co-inventors of the automatic transmission…jeez.

  43. LiveToServeYa

    Paul Revere actually shot British soldiers from a helicopter pedaled by Leonardo da Vinci. It was just him and Leonardo and a case of Sam Adams. He couldn't kill a lot since he didn't have a semi-auto musket, so they dropped hundred-page leaflets penned by Thomas Paine and left. Many of the British were severely concussed, that day.

  44. mog253

    Have we already started to write the Post-Apocalytic, Road Warrior version of US history? Why not, no point in waiting.

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      My understanding is that the Germans subcontracted the bombing of Pearl Harbor out Milo Minderbinder's syndicate, because they could do it cheaper.

  45. ohsuzanna

    It is astonishing that she is absolutely unable to admit she is wrong about anything. She just can't do it. A round for all my internet friends if anyone can find her actually admitting that she was wrong. ever.

    1. ChessieNefercat

      "A round for all my internet friends if anyone can find her actually admitting that she was wrong. ever. "

      You are absolutely right. It's to a pathological point. But I think it's important to say that fake admissions of being wrong don't count (disguised attacks). Ex: I was wrong to trust so-and-so on this important issue, my mistake was assuming that he/she was competent, honest, loved the USA, etc. I'm a victim, wah, wah, wah…

        1. Doktor Zoom

          OK, but that's mostly because he actually was right all the time.

          Except when he thought he could beat a robot.

          And when the Metal Ones came for me, there was no one left to speak up.

    2. tessiee

      "t is astonishing that she is absolutely unable to admit she is wrong about anything. She just can't do it."

      Bush was the same way.
      Sociopaths, the whole two of 'em.

  46. Dudleydidwrong

    History is "His" + "story" so Skoal is entitled to his story. (The fact that Kenyans bombed Pearl Harbor to soften up Hawaii for Barry's eventual immaculate conception is left out of the books so as not to embarrass someone.) Palin's account of Revere is "Her" + "Story" which makes it apocryphal at best. When Revere shouted to warn the Brits, did he yell "the colonials are comin', the colonials are comin'" or something like that? He had two yells to memorize? I wonder if Paul Revere and the Raiders have any light to shed on this conundrum?

    1. ChessieNefercat

      Palin's ancestorettes actually lived in the Boston area. What was yelled that night was "Ye Bristol is coming, ye Bristol is coming!"

      And generations of little bastards later, the tale continues with the current crop of cretinously fecund Palin wimmin.

  47. UW8316154

    No, that was Piper's text. Willow is left back home to take care of the little Storm Trooper but ended up getting drunk and trashing vacant houses with the local boys.

  48. Ducksworthy

    Professor Truth is beginning to be as ugly on the outside as she obviously is inside. I suppose that was inevitable.

  49. Pres[EXTERMINATE!!]

    There has been a debate raging on (where the original Palinized version of the Midnight Ride was posted) over whether or not what she said was accurate. Some folks went to original accounts of the ride which mentioned bells going off from town to town as Revere went riding as proof that we "liblunatics" were just demonizing St. Sarah at every possible opportunity…. the debate was as much of a fail as her original statement.

  50. ttommyunger

    Missouri boys have an expression for the few women in the world like Sarah: we simply describe her as having a clatterbone which is "loose at both ends". Her other problem is what we call "Baptist Preacher Syndrome": she simply has a hard time finding a stopping place. Her final problem is terminal stupidity. Sadly, I've never seen a cure for any of these conditions short of assuming room temperature and I wouldn't wish that on her; she is doing progressives too much good right now, and Republicans too much harm.

    1. PabaBritannica

      Yeah, sounds like Baptists in the Carolinas, too. I once sat through a Baptist sermon in Rock Hill, SC that lasted from 10am to dinnertime. At least they had some kickass fried chicken at the end.

      1. ttommyunger

        I firmly believe Baptists are the best (and unhealthiest) cooks in the world, and make no mistake; a Baptist Preacher's dick is harder than Chinese Arithmetic.

        1. tessiee

          "a Baptist Preacher's dick is harder than Chinese Arithmetic"

          Yeah, but so are his arteries.

  51. philpjfry

    She seems blissfully unaware of just how fucking stupid she is. She is never wrong and anyone that thinks so is out to get her. She will NOT run for president. Why should she? If she keeps going the way she is she can rake in money and never be held accountable for anything. Thinking about her makes my brain explode. Now I have to drink heavily and it is still early. Thanks a lot

    1. GOPCrusher

      And what's worse is that she has accumulated Enablers that defend her. Furthering proving that P.T. Barnum was right.

  52. PuckStopsHere

    Part of his ride was to warn the British that we’re already there.

    On account of how could the British have POSSIBLY known that their colonies were, er, populated? With colonists. Who fucking came from fucking England. In fact, if Paul Revere had kept his goddamn mouth shut and his lanterns dark, there would have been no Revolutionary War because the British wouldn't even have known we were here (or as he puts it "there") in the first place.

    God, I love this country. And I thank the Ruppert Murdoch Terrorist Broadcast Network for giving this woman a pulpit.

    1. PabaBritannica

      "I'm not going there! Thor-row was some kind of pagan comic book trans-sexualist author!"

  53. PabaBritannica

    Some day in the future, an amazing book will be written by some Arab social scientist about the closing of the American Mind. It will be a marvelous account of how the GOP became the natural governing party, constantly convinced that what they believed was true by virtue if them having believed it to be just so in the first place and/or because it was previously verified to be true/false by "scientists" or "scholars", therefore making the truth to be the exact opposite.

    It will be called "Palinism".

  54. Weenus299

    Paul Revere drove his Pinto all over the Fens singing Kicks Just Keep Gettin' Harder to Find the other night, until he was arrested for disorderly conduct.

  55. BlueStateLibel

    Was she drunk and laughing when she said this? Because that's how I picture it.

  56. smitallica

    I'm sure she read about Paul Revere in one of the books, magazines, or newspapers she couldn't name.

  57. SilverTsunami

    This is what I like about her. You don't even have to make up something. You can just pull a quote like:

    "Part of his ride was to warn the British that we’re already there."

    It writes itself!

  58. Gopherit

    No one's gonna tell the guerilla from Wasilla what a revolution is like. You warn those lobsterbacks so they pee their pants twice.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      As an Obama fan, I distinctly remember trying to change the Wikipedia entry for "United States" to say that there were 57 of them, rather than the popularly accepted number of 50, after Obama made this gaffe.

      (C&P from other Palin thread.)

    2. fuflans

      how very sad. some people spend their life's work in history. sarah palin makes it a political football.

      snowbilly leaves a trail of destruction everywhere she goes.

  59. ChessieNefercat

    She's standing right there at the Paul Revere historical site, and is asked “What have you seen so far today and what are you going to take away from your visit?”


    1. Doktor Zoom

      Sarah considers all questions "gotcha" questions. To be fair, based on her track record at answering questions of all sorts, this is not an unreasonable assumption.

      1. ChessieNefercat

        Impressive! I didn't think it was possible to combine "Sarah" and "not unreasonable"!

  60. Slim_Pickins

    The Republican primaries should be staged as a Jeopardy contest with questions on American history, the Constitution, etc. Winner take all. The mysterious "judges" could be teabaggers, On scooters!

    1. SorosBot

      "Sorry, that was the correct answer. The answer we were looking for was that "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion" means "The United States is a Christian nation".

  61. James Michael Curley

    Is it any surprise that the No.1 attention whore tells the story so we all learn that Paul Revere was an attention whore?

  62. Redhead

    Well at least she got his name right, and didn't start talking about "Paula Veer." That's quite an accomplishment for her.

  63. owhatever

    WASHINGTON — To re-enact the midnight ride of Paul Revere, President Sarah Palin today rode her horse, Bristol, down the grand stairway into the White House entrance hall, frightening the chickens, goats and the British ambassador.

  64. ChessieNefercat

    "Five colleges, actually. But who's counting?"

    Certainly not Sarah! (She can't.)

  65. UpFistTroll

    Let's sum up.
    Barack Obama flubs a speech and says something about 57 states. Conservicunts point and laugh and screech "OBAMAR DOESN'T KNOW HOW MANY STATES THERE ARE!" Liberals admit that he misspoke, and move on.

    Sarah Palin issues a rambling, incoherent, factually incorrect statement about Paul Revere. Liberals point and laugh at how utterly stupid this woman is. Palin, and other conversicunts respond by doubling down on the falsehood, going so far as to edit Wikipedia to attempt to alter history.

    This is why we're better than these fucking idiots. Our people say something untruthful, we admit to the error. Their people say something untruthful, and they attempt to redefine truth.

    1. genxr

      I love the 57 state thing, because every Obama critic now knows that there are in fact 57 states and territories, which they didn't know before. So at least Obama taught them something.

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        As an Obama fan, I distinctly remember trying to change the Wikipedia entry for "United States" to say that there were 57 of them, rather than the popularly accepted number of 50, after Obama made this gaffe.

        1. Gleem_McShineys

          You too? I tried to change the Wikipedia entry for Arabic numbers, so that after you get to 50, there are seven 'silent numbers' that aren't usually acknowledged, due to "Quantum Theory stuff that you all wouldn't understand."

          How could that go wrong? Nobody really understands Quantum Theory, which only proves it is even more true!

  66. genxr

    You libtards think you're sooooo smart and superior. Well look. Germany and Japan were allies in WWII, and Germany declared war on the US immediately after the bombing of Pearl Harbor . We know German submarines were operating in the Pacific and gave material support to Japan. So despite what the "gotcha media" says, Bluto was in fact, correct when he asked if it was over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor.

    And he went on to become a U.S. Senator.

  67. Ducksworthy

    Look. Everybody know that if you tell a lie, and get caught, but then you repeat over and over to millions of people, it will become the truth. Basic right wing political wisdom.

  68. anniegetyerfun

    Part of his ride was to warn the British that we’re already there.

    Oh, I forgot – she literally believes that white Americans were already there before the British arrived and tried to fuck shit up for white Americans.

  69. ghblowhard

    Sarah said that Paul Revere was actually trying to warn everyone about Satan on his midnight ride because midnight is the "witching hour"

  70. stew1

    To you lamestream Palin bashers, I've done some research and the good lady is absolutely correct! Paul did in fact run through the streets of Boston naked, firing guns and bells and shouting, "you limey cocksuckers take my AK and that's your ass!!!" He later moved to Vegas and opened for Sinatra at the Tangiers were he performed magic acts and contacted the dead. He now owns a condo in Miami Beach.

  71. thefrontpage

    Palin is a moron, an idiot, and a poseur, and she is ignorant, uneducated, inexperienced, lacking in knowledge, and she has zero experience, real experience, in government and politics and civic and community issues, and she is immature, childish and juvenile, and she has very little real experience, education or knowledge in scores of very real issues, including economics, finance, banking, defense, homeland security, national intelligence, public safety, the environment, science, the economy, trade, commerce, labor, law, justice, the military, civics, housing, education, transportation, corrections, the judiciary, and scores of other governmental areas and issues.

  72. Nothingisamiss

    You missed in that interview where she told Chris that this was a response to a "gotcha question." No, not kidding.

  73. unclejeems

    And to think that a few weeks ago, we were sure we'd never hear of or about her ever again. But ignorance has its own momentum, I guess.

  74. mrbubb

    Silly Pain, everybody knows that Paul Revere was just ridin' through the desert, kickin up sand, between Lexington, TX and Concord. AZ. The sun was beatin' down on his baseball *haaatt*. The air was gettin' hot, the beer was gettin' flat. Just, you know, stone cold gettin' the message of Jesus and guns across. Then he machine gunned the declaration of independence into the body of a liberal British bluestate redcoat, and that's why baby Jesus will free us from Muslin tyranny.

    I swear this is as coherent, if not more so, than Palin's remarks. Why can't I run for president.

  75. mrbubb

    Silly Palin, everybody knows that Paul Revere was just ridin' through the desert, kickin up sand, between Lexington, TX and Concord. AZ. The sun was beatin' down on his baseball *haaatt*. The air was gettin' hot, the beer was gettin' flat. Just, you know, stone cold gettin' the message of Jesus and guns across. Then he machine gunned the declaration of independence into the body of a liberal British bluestate redcoat, and that's why baby Jesus will free us from Muslin tyranny.

  76. mrbubb

    See, I'm even as stupid as Palin! Can't even comment straight! NRA! USA! MOUSE! Now where's my fucking reality show?

    1. tessiee

      Whatever negative pee you may have incurred for the double post is more than compensated for by the fact that you misspelled her name as "Pain" in the first post.

  77. ChessieNefercat

    She must be batting around the edges of the time-space continuum like a moth around a light, and time has slooooooowed.

    How else to explain it? Every one else famous for being a damn fool drops out of site eventually but not her.

  78. Gleem_McShineys

    Who knew you could actually Go Full Retard, after all! As long as you have an army of cretins to clean up that pesky Wikipedia afterwards!

    George Orwell had it so wrong. It doesn't take some big old Ministry of Truth building filled with history revisers working 24/7, you can accomplish so much with just one media whore and a small gang of fanatic idiots rolling around on mobility scooters.

  79. lochnessmonster

    I hope someone yells a warning at me if Sarah Mama Grizzly Bear Lipstick on a Pitbull Palin gets anywhere near Chicago!

  80. tessiee

    To quote Jon Stewart:
    "So this whole trip is basically just a F*** You for being asked what newspapers you read?"

  81. krazyvladimir

    6 Million Jews in Europe went to the concentration camps just to give the Nazis a friendly warning.

  82. zhubajie

    "Americans" back then meant "Native Americans." The people of Boston were definitely British! Their militia was far from voluntary, too. And since Sarah P isn't Congregationalist, she would definitely not have been allowed to live in Massachusetts! Maybe allowed to hang, between a Quaker and a witch.

  83. BlueMonkeh

    I'd throw it back, or throw it up onto the pile of rocks so I don't catch it again.

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