flotus files

Obama Ladies Plan Mysterious African Adventure

That's MRS. Flotus to you...Remember late last summer, when Michelle Obama thought it would be fun to take her daughters on a trip to Spain, and then America had a heart attack, because apparently a good First Lady would pretend to be poor as a courtesy to the rest of the country, which is actually poor? Well, great news! Our FLOTUS is about to embark upon her Summer Madness Tour once again, and this time, she’s skipping the Spanish mosques and heading to a continent that is still likely to offend Americans, somehow. Our FLOTUS is off to Africa!

Michelle Obama’s African vacation is coming up at the end of this month, and she is probably busy planning all of her excursions. (Right now her itinerary reads: Pray in all the mosques they have, hand out Benjamins and celery sticks to all the African street children.)

Don’t forget the sunscreen: It’s summer travel time for the female members of the first family — they’re headed to southern Africa this month.

First lady Michelle Obama announced Friday she will visit Johannesburg and Cape Town, South Africa and Gaborone, Botswana on June 21-26, accompanied by daughters Malia and Sasha, and by her mother, Marian Robinson.

Grandma’s coming, so Michelle must mean business. Perhaps this is an effort to recruit future African-born, American presidents?

Obama’s office said the trip will be a continuation of the first lady’s effort to encourage young people at home and abroad, a traditional first-lady project which Obama has taken up with zeal. World travel also is traditional for first ladies: Obama has already picked up a slew of stamps in her passport, with visits to Brazil, Chile, El Salvador, India and Mexico, not to mention the glittering capitals of Europe. Obama hopes to underscore America’s continuing interest in the success of African nations and strengthen historic connections between Americans and Africans.

What exactly is our FLOTUS “encouraging” young people to do? Will she be taking her new Vegetable Platter with her? Hopefully there will at least one fabulous safari. Our FLOTUS sure can wear that khaki. [USA Today]

Blair Burke (blairelinor@gmail.com) obsessively follows Michelle Obama’s every move for “The FLOTUS Files,” which appears every Monday here at your Wonkette.

About the author

Blair Burke obsessively follows Michelle Obama's every move and fashion decision for Wonkette's The FLOTUS Files feature, which appears here every Monday.

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  1. samsuncle

    Will this be a bus tour? I hear they are very popular these days and they attract a lot of lame stream media attention.

  2. user-of-owls

    Oh. No.

    Tell me they did not lead with: "Don’t forget the sunscreen."

    Please, just tell me they did not do that.

    1. Terry

      You know, of course, people of color can get sunburns, too. Especially when going from temperate to tropical areas.

      1. user-of-owls

        Yes, I know, of course, that people of color can get sunburns too. Especially when going from temperate to tropical areas!

        Leaving elementary biological realities aside for the moment, try to put yourself in the mindset of an ALL-CAPS, Skoal Rebel, illiterate racist commenter in pretty much any venue. Now, in that mindset, read that phrase again:

        "Don’t forget the sunscreen."

        NOW do you see my point?

      2. SorosBot

        But they're going to South Africa, which is fairly temperate, and during the winter. Someone needs to tell the writer about the Equator and how seasons work.

          1. MissTaken

            I imagine a lot of:

            "Well, see Jesus said Let There Be Light and then there was light, and it was good. And then, you know, Jesus, riding a horse to warn the British by writing on the Ten Commandments that big government shouldn't crowd out the private sector and so then there were tides coming in and going out. And then at Christmas Baby Jesus was born, but since it was winter and cold, Mary, the original Mama Grizzly, placed him on a basket in the Nile for the Pharaoh's daughter to find him. And that is why we have seasons."

  3. BaldarTFlagass

    Good thing the Prez isn't going, otherwise they would have to go to Half-rica.

      1. horsedreamer_1

        But at least when the GOP has Barry thrown in the brig, he'll only have to pay a quarter mil for bail.

  4. BaldarTFlagass

    I wonder if she will pay a visit to District 9 while she is in Jo-Burg. See some real illegal alien problems…

  5. DashboardBuddha

    "Perhaps this is an effort to recruit future African-born, American presidents?"

    Well, you know …getting a likely family to put up a qualified son to marry an American woman and then getting the logistics set up so it looks like the progeny of this union is a "natural" citizen doesn't happen by itself.

  6. Goonemeritus

    I look forward to news coverage of her enjoying Jo-Burg's fantastic music scene.

  7. user-of-owls

    I'm sorely disappointed in this itinerary. Michelle missed a golden opportunity to visit the capital of Burkina Faso (nee Upper Volta): Ouagadougou.

    A city whose name, come to think of it, sounds like something that would ooze out of Palin's mouth.

  8. ManchuCandidate

    Unless AF1 has a gaudy painting of Washington Crossing the Delaware (think Muscular Shirtless Washington carrying an M-60 while on the bow of an aircraft carrier) on its tail and we get Michelle's "interpretation" of General Pickett's charge at Gettysburg then this trip is meaningless.

  9. DaSandman

    Not sure why the Red States would care about an African trip. I'm pretty sure they don't know where it is.

    Wait, Africa? The one in Virginia and Florida, right?

    1. GhostBuggy

      What do you think they're prepping the shuttle for right now? The only other question is if they'll let Sasha or Malia fly it.

  10. riverside68

    My understanding is that Hillary is on substitute patrol duty in the WH, so I doubt there will be too much fun, although a toilet seat or two left up doesn't seem out of the question.

      1. Beetagger

        Whoopi Goldberg can play Michelle and her mom. I'm sure Eddie Murphy wouldn't mind dressing in drag again either.

      2. user-of-owls

        No, no, no.

        For contemporary Mich-O: Halle Berry (with butt padding);

        For 'future' M-Oba: Della Reese (Note: only to be used in case of Titanic-style flashbacks); and

        For the 'prequel' Michelle-ama: Whoever this year's Raven-Symoné is.

        Now you are free to cast the rest of the roles, have at it!

  11. ThundercatHo

    I'm going on a safari and I'm going to take Air Force One, broccoli, a camera crew…

  12. Sue4466

    About that Huffpo link: they reported FLOTUS had new tennis shoes? And that was before AOL bought them. Wow.

  13. Oblios_Cap

    They're just going over to visit Obama's family. Sort of a "Meet The Grandparents" sort of trip.

  14. user-of-owls

    Ok, here's a Monday morning sledgehammer:

    Commenter: Niggas don't need no sun screen.


  15. freddymcmurray

    Something something something <insert birf cert jargon here> something something something <insert Kenya here> something something something!!!!!

    1. jus_wonderin

      She's going to offset MO trip (as she did with Romney) by driving her bus to Africa.

    1. mereoblivion

      Palin's putting off her trip to Africa till she gets permission to shoot a tiger.

  16. user-of-owls

    I was going to go with Paul Revere warning the Equator not to abort our guns, but that'll work too.

  17. horsedreamer_1

    You know who else travelled to the Horn of Africa during Northern Hemisphere summer?

  18. SorosBot

    If Will Smith is involved, then you know he'd insist that one of the girls be played by Willow.

  19. ttommyunger

    If a bus is used, I will be looking for the prominent "In Your Face, Crackers!" Banner across the sides of it. Seems to me somebody in that family has balls, still trying to figure out who.

  20. Sassomatic

    I bet she's going to check on the cryogenically frozen embryos of future socialist/Nazi/Muslim terrorist presidents.

  21. anniegetyerfun

    I guess soccer teams in the US are holding vuvuzela days? Saw a bunch of Seattle Sounders fans carrying them around the other day. I try not to pay attention to sports, but if they are going to start handing those things out like candy, I'm skipping the 4th of July celebrations this year. I can handle loud booming sounds, but the constant drone of a vuvuzela might drive me to madness.

  22. zhubajie

    BBC World Service covers their music and film festivals in detail, even though it is a French (sortof) speaking country.

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