Shameless bozo Rod Blagojevich, on trial for trying to sell Obama’s Senate seat, apparently read news of Osama bin Laden’s May 2 death in the only light that Rod Blagojevich can read any news story: by imagining the words “Rod Blagojevich” somewhere in the headline. Would everyone like to consider the possibility that if Rod had appointed himself to the Senate seat, he would have had more superpowers than an entire team of Navy Seals?
Defense attorney Aaron Goldstein asked if he’d ever talked to a deputy governor about appointing himself to the Senate, then traveling to Afghanistan to get bin Laden.
Blagojevich said, “Yes.”
WLS Radio Court Reporter Bill Cameron says everyone, including the jury, laughed at the bin Laden comment.
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By what means? Boring him to death? What a crazy hair nest of douchebaggary Rod is.
We have missiles that can home in on hysterical laughter.
(You'd be amazed at how well they work in Pakistan.)
Actually, his hair is an honorary member of Seal Team 6.
At least no one asked him who Paul Revere was.
Didn't he play for the Bears?
I think it was the Patriots.
Didn't he have a band?
Does he make cookware?
Or what he did.
Rod.
What's the deal with every phallic named dude making the news these days?
I want to make a highbrow joke, but…………damn.
Is it Cocktober already?
Is Dick Trickle coming out of retirement?
The hair was for hiding the bazooka. And a spare helicopter.
Maybe that was The Donald's plan, too. What an action/adventure team those two would have made!
(swoon)
I didn't laugh at that … until I pictured it in my imagination.
Now I can't stop snortling.
Blago is a joke, but to be fair, so is WLS. It's the D-bag conservative station that the worst of the worst all make their homes on here in Chicago.
Hey Governor dumbass, bin Laden was in Pakistan.
Blago just wanted to see if Obama had better hair under that turban. If so, he was gonna brush the shit out of that hair.
You mean Osama's hair under the turban? (D'oh?)
FUCK! yes Osama. Dammit. And now I can't edit it cause of your reply.
Ha! You're such a too.
(Tryin' to get this one up mini-meme status.)
This entire Blago can be shipped to Afghanistan, no one has lost any
Being able to travel to Afghanistan to kill bin Laden is a fucking valuable thing.
You don't just give that away.
rod would parachute him there.
Fuckin golden!
Rod needs to save all his dreaming to try to visualize a life where he isn’t a pathetic washed up joke. Sad really he had one of the coolest political jobs in the country.
rod needs to save all his dreaming for when he gets out of jail.
He really should figure out something to dream of while he's being taken as a bitch in the prison shower.
Let's say for the sake of argument Blago had actually managed to parachute himself into the compound and had popped a round into Osama's dome. Bin Laden would be dead and Roddy would be stuck in Pakistan with no way home. Talk about win-fucking-win!
Then again he couldn’t have been less successful at catching Bin Laden then our former president.
And you all thought it was just a brush he kept in "the football." He also had his spandex superhero suit and his SuperSoaker Thunderstorm.
And then he'd have hitch-hiked to Japan and fixed the reactors. After that, well, just wander the earth like Caine from Kung Fu.
Wonkette, Jr., you're working kind of late. I believe typically by this time on a Friday afternoon Stuef and Ken were stone drunk, crying in their vodka martini's about how they could have had a job at Politico and bitching about so-called 'loyal' staffers who leave to take a job to get fame and oh yeah, a salary.
Yeah, bulldog, what you said.
And where's Miss Benincasa? I haven't been humiliated yet today, and it's starting to get uncomfortable in here.
Hasn't posted in weeks! Last mention was when Ken said she was "sharing a stage with Andrew Breitbart" … I shudder to think what might have happened.
Can't help but think Andy isn't into the pretty young girls…witness his interaction with Riley (who has probably gone into the witness protection program.)
Maybe they got into a drunken argument about "the biggest penis I've ever seen." Then Sara hacked into Anthony Weiner's twitter account and now she's hiding out … far fetched? Possibly. But it would explain a whole lot, right?
The chances of Blago getting bin Laden are about the same as the Cubs winning the World Series.
Next he needs to appoint himself President of the Hair Club for Men with Brass Balls. I love this guy. If anyone deserves his own reality show, it's him.
You may say that in jest, but I'll lay odds that a teevee reality show is precisely what will be waiting for him when he gets out. After he's had his sphincter cauterized to stop the bleeding, that is.
The sphincter cauterization could be part of the show.
"Fuck it! We'll do it LIVE!"
Rod Blagojevich or Rick Perry: Which has the better hair to kill muslins and why? Please include references to texture, sheen, length and aerodynamics in your answer. This will be timed.
Well, Rod is the Fifth Beatle – so there's that.
Sadly, like Trump, Blago was unable to overcomb the obstacles of reality.
Blago obviously would have smothered Bin Ladin with that luscious mane of his. It would be hard to breathe through all that hair.
Rod would have Elvis-impersonated the shit out of Bin Laden, yo.
Palin would have shot ol' what his name stone cold right in the face with a 12 gauge. Then put on her lipstick,Angie Dickinson style. Fuck yeah.
Can't help but wonder: did the defense attorney have some kind of insider information on which to base this question, or was he just making conversation in hopes of getting an amusing quote? Because from what I've heard of this trial, it is quite the entertaining event. How much are the scalpers charging?
The defense attorney was trying to make all his actual misdeeds sound like the colorful ravings of a loon. Even the Tribune labeled it the "I'm an idiot" defense.
Any humor pretty much disappeared with the first question on cross. "Mr. Blagojevich, you are a convicted liar, correct?" Snap!
Even the Tribune labeled it the "I'm an idiot" defense.
That could work, you know. America loves a good idiot.
Self promoting dipshit self promoting dipshittery.
Uh, I realize I risk great opprobium here for this, but I created a wonkette group on (gulp) meetup.com for wonkets who want to get together and drink and complain and laugh and snark and stuff. It's for the DC area, but if you're interested go there and search for wonkette (may be a day or so before it turns up in search results). Let's all get together and get drunk and have fights and stuff!
Downfisters especially welcome!
I dunno. I think Wonkette is a secret society ala the Masons. We just aren't in charge of anything important (i.e., the Treasury); Dan Brown will not write a book about us and Nicholas Cage will probably die of liver failure and not be able to portray Ken in a movie.
yes, you're right of course, BUT Ken et al have in the past organized wonket get-togethers, which were fun. Anyhow, I don't know…
Good luck! Hope you all get to meet and drink. Not sure how many Wonkettes are in Central TX … or would admit to it!
The Wonketeriat are all over the place… there are good number in the Austin area if I understood Ken's comments earlier this week. Wish I was closer – I would totally do a meetup in Austin but it's just too damn far from Houston.
That's perfectly OK, because I am available to play Ken Layne in the movie version.
I have considerable acting experience, and am willing to work hard to improve my malevolent sneer. Also, I can grow my facial hair out again. Like in the photo.
(And while we're at it, I'm thinking we should definitely be casting Wynona Ryder as the passionate, remarkably athletic Mrs Layne.)
It's like you were separated at birth. Needs more curmudgeon, though–you're way too happy in that photo.
Acting!
you know, the current crop of repubs – at all government levels – makes me long for the days of blago.
Empty wagon always makes the most noise. Yes, I'm talking about you, Rod.
Blago is a too, as well…
This guy is such a dipshit he can't even get the details of his own self-defense book straight in his direct testimony. Day dreaming about shooting bin Laden was about the least ridiculous thing he did on a regular basis.
The government restrained from putting in a lot of his crazier stuff (like nearly bankrupting himself buying expensive crap while complaining about how he didn't have money to send his kids to school, or hiding in his office bathroom to avoid talking to staffers) but now that he's on the stand the gloves are coming off. The judge has already all but told his attorneys he thinks Blago is a lying sack, and I don't think the jury feels any different.
This entire Blago can be shipped to Afghanistan, no one has lost any
{Yes, this is a re-comment, but it just seems appropriate. I'll shut up now}
And this delusional character was once the governor of Illinois!! It almost seems as though he should get off on most of the charges against him based on the insanity defense!!
imagining the words “Rod Blagojevich” somewhere in the headline.
Rod Blagojevich = white Roland Burris.
He could probably move to Vegas, do his Elvis for a while, and then run against Sharron Angle and win! What a great election season that would be!
Remember Laurie Apple's depiction of parachuting Blago?
(I always thought he looked like Janet Reno.)
Yeah, where'd she go? Her stuff is boffo!
I think his plan was f'ing golden.
Hey, you, too are a too?
(Edit: seems that accurate link-back to a specific comment doesn't work on Intense Debate. Whoever is in charge of that feature needs to sharpen his/her programing toos.)
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