the grifters are coming! the grifters are coming!

Sarah Palin Has No Idea Who Paul Revere Was, Or What He Did

Idiot.Jabbering imbecile Sarah Palin and her rented tour bus continue to bring laughs to America. Here’s how she described Paul Revere’s famous 1775 secret horseback ride through the countryside where he quietly warned revolutionary conspirators of the British Army’s progress between Boston and Lexington, where they planned to arrest Samuel Adams and John Hancock: “He who warned uh, the British that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our arms, uh by ringing those bells, and um, makin’ sure as he’s riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed.” You must watch this video from the local news in Boston.

Could Sarah Palin be stupider?

Yes, and she is stupider: She also claims Paul Revere’s “midnight ride” on the eve of the Revolutionary War has something to do with the U.S. Constitution’s second amendment — the Bill of Rights wouldn’t exist until 1789 and wouldn’t be ratified until the end of 1791 — another 16 years after Revere’s famous ride. Ugh, every time Sarah Palin speaks in public, the nation’s collective IQ drops another point.

Oh, and those British takin’ away our arms? Paul Revere was British. Hancock and Adams were British. (Revere also never shouted “The British are coming,” both because that would defeat the purpose of quietly riding by night to alert his fellow revolutionary elitists and because they were all British.) He rang no bells, he fired no shots. Again, what would be the point of a secret midnight ride — and he was one of approximately 40 revolutionary conspirators and spies riding around Lexington that night warning of the army’s approach — if he was banging on bells and firing shots into the sky like some common Wasilla meth freak with a semi-automatic?

And then Sarah Palin’s stupidity and vapidity reached the known threshold and she vanished into space-time. Not really. Not ever. [PoliticsUSA]

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Comments

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  • nounverb911

    Paul Revere? Didn't he say the Bristols are coming, the Bristols are coming?

    • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

      Not Bristols. The Nearers are coming.

      • BlueMonkeh

        And I'd like to offer a laurel and hearty handshake to our new near.

    • littlebigdaddy

      "Bristol cities"="titties" Bet SP doesn't know that either.

    • Rosie_Scenario

      The Wasillans are coming, the Wasillans are coming.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      I can't believe she didn't mention Paul's famous pony, Yankee Doodle, by name. Or the fact that Revere rode him all the way to London, just to get some take-out pasta and feathers.

      She left out the best parts!

      • http://fontofliberty.blogspot.com/ Rarian Rakista

        Yankee Doodle, he talked to, right?

    • themcwow

      with Harvey's Bristol Cream

    • GOPCrusher

      Nah. Him and The Raiders recorded "Kicks" back in the 60's.

    • ChessieNefercat

      "Paul Revere? Didn't he say the Bristols are coming, the Bristols are coming?"

      No, that was Levi.

  • ablington

    …and this is why we ring bells at the stroke of midnight on the 4th of July, and also why we tie onions on our belts, which was the style at the time…

    • PabaBritannica

      I remember that, it was in Nineteen Tickety.

      • http://www.wonkette.com TanzbodenKoenig

        We had to call it dickety because the Kaiser stole the teen!

        • GhostBuggy

          "Give me five bees for a quarter," you'd say…

          • axmxz

            It's a ghost quarter, but you'll be able to spend it pretty soon.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    "And then he made those great pots which the Patriots and Minute Rice Men used to cook a feast that lulled the Red Coats to sleep and allowed them to steal their coats to start the Burlington Coat Factory."

    • Steverino247

      And Burlington is in New Hampshire and not Vermont, too!

    • 102415

      So that's why the Islams want the Burlington Coat FactorY!1!1
      Hey downfister bitch, why are all your Media Whores so ignorant?

    • comrad_darkness

      AKA Revere Ware

    • petehammer

      I'm afraid to ask her how babies are made.

      • tessiee

        I don't think she knows, either.

        • Swampgas_Man

          She should ask Bristol?

          • Barb

            Yeah, like Bristol knows!

      • ChessieNefercat

        "I'm afraid to ask her how babies are made. "

        So was Bristol.

  • CrankyLttlCamperette

    Forget that 15-year-old Constitutional scholar, a third-grader with a basic social studies curriculum could best La Grifter in historical knowledge. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

    • Terry

      Laugh. Keep laughing loudly and as publically as possible.

    • ArmoredBore

      Sobbing. Right now. Coworkers are looking at me funny. Again.

    • Dumbedup

      cry

      • 102415

        Yes, cry. The Media Whore is front page in New Hampshire above Romey's declaration. Breitbart jackasses must be happy today.

    • PsycWench

      My seventh-grade daughter collapsed onto my shoulder from laughing.

      • Fare la Volpe

        Please tell me you're giving your daughter a thorough education in Snark. I need hope for the younger generation.

        • PsycWench

          She's slowly but surely picking up on the snark thing. She's definitely getting an education in being liberal. Prior to the 2008 election, she and her best friend formed the Peace Out Cheese Doodle Obama Lovers Club, I'm sure some wingnut will be looking into this now.

          • http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Armus UpFistTroll

            I have to warn you: that may be the best club name of all time.

    • tessiee

      "a third-grader with a basic social studies curriculum could best La Grifter in historical knowledge"

      Yes, but could they prance around a stage in a flag-patterned bikini, firing guns at the ceiling?

      • ChessieNefercat

        Oh great, now cactuscunt has an idea for a 4th of July spectacular with which to treat a grateful nation.

  • PeaceWithHonor

    Oh for Christ's fucking sake. This bitch couldn't lead a cheer competition.

  • Barb

    Jesus, tap dancing Christ! Why can't they make a movie, "The Queen's Speech" where Geoffrey Rush teaches her not to speak at all.

    • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ SpurningBeer

      And of course, we will always remember that the New England Patriots, who fought with their bare arms to protect our rights, yes!, CLINGING to our bare arms, President OBAMA!!!, so that we can be so thankful for all the wonderful troops and the freedoms we enjoy. Do you remember The King's Peach? Wasn't that a great story? So let's make our voices heard and let those lamestream media bureaucraps in Washington know that the shots heard round the clock there in Lexington Kentucky for every man, woman and child in America!

      • Barb

        That is hilarious, Spurning! Thanks!
        Fuck you, Sarah Palin and the horse Paul Revere rode in on.

        (this may be a repost) My comments are vaporizing.

        • ChessieNefercat

          Mine too. Also.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      Stop it Barb, you're killing me!

      • Barb

        I'm sorry, I don't want to kill you. I like having you around.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          But admit it. you want to wound him a little.

    • ChessieNefercat

      "Jesus, tap dancing Christ! "

      When I was small, I overhead a phrase that just utterly fascinated me. It seems to fit at this tragic time in our nation's history (the rise of cactuscunt from her snowbank).

      "Jesus Jumped-up Christ in a chariot-driven sidecar."
      I have no idea what it means but it does roll right off the tongue.

  • MittsHairHelmet

    WHDH in the house! (I'm from Boston)

    • Allmighty_Manos

      Good thing my Grandmother wasn't around to see this, see would have kicked in her TV

  • BlueMonkeh

    History schmistory. Facts are for pointy headed elitist snobs, not REAL duhMerkuns.

    • Oblios_Cap

      You don't need no fancy book learnin' when you gots Jebus.

      • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

        If it aint in the bible it aint true so burn it. If it repeats what's in the bible you don't need it so burn it. That's all you need to know about books.

  • memzilla

    At least Paul Revere didn't quit his ride half-way through.

    • mormos

      well, actually…

    • comrad_darkness

      Bill Dawes would beg to differ.

      • memzilla

        OK, then: "At least Paul Revere didn't quit his ride half-way through so that he could become a shameless media-whoring grifter."

        • ChessieNefercat

          If it was wrong, it's fixed now!

    • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

      Your p-points are AWESOME right now.

      • memzilla

        You know we men always lie about the size of our p-ness.

    • Dashboard_Jesus

      wow, nice one…that's the first 300+ upfists I've ever seen on the Wonkettes (and I'm proud to be #302!) your p-ness must be HUGE now!

    • lulzmonger

      You have my sword! Also my shield, too!

      Plus thumb # 324!

      Truly, if Saint Sarah Of The Meth-Labs had written it, it would've been "The Declaration Of In."

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Of the North Church tower as a signal light,–
    One if by bus, and two with a truss;
    Sarah's history facts are just such a muss,
    Ready to grift and spread the alarm
    Through every Buttsechs village and farm,
    Teatards on their Hoverounds swarm.

    • SmutBoffin

      WHY DOES DOWNFISTER HATE LONGFELLOW?

      • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

        Must be a shortfellow when it comes to P'ness

      • 102415

        She hates everything but fetuses. Try a fetus joke?

        • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

          It's hard to be a fetus these days. Really just scraping by.

          • 102415

            Excellent joke.
            Today there are many downfisters falling like radiation poision all around us. lol. They are so excited by ignorance! Dumbasses. I'm going to the post office. There is a fallout shelter there still until the teabaggers close it down.

      • ChessieNefercat

        "WHY DOES DOWNFISTER HATE LONGFELLOW? "

        Because he's jealous, silly! Bwahahah.

        • http://www.udargo.com MaxUdargo

          Look, are you people going to explain who or what the fuck "downfister" is, or is it something only the cool kids know and now you're going to give me a wedgie.

          • 102415

            The downfister bitch is usually one Spanky2b who comes over from the Breitbart hell Big Government and spends hours going up the back end of the threads hitting the down fist on everyone's comments. We shout out warnings when we see the points of our comrades get suddenly lower so the next person will knock everyone back up one. If you see someone with a zero who doesn't deserve it she has just come through. She also is *following* about 1000 or so of us. You get a message in your email about it. I really for the life of me don't know why she needs to do that but she does. If you look at who visited a profile you will sometimes see her. You can then click on her and read her idiot posts at Breitbart. It gives him a page view but it will let you see the Bachmann loving crazy up close. It's not pretty. Okay?

          • http://www.udargo.com MaxUdargo

            Thank you.

            So… does this mean I can sit with you guys in the cafeteria, or is that pushing it? That's probably pushing it. I'll just sit over here next to the guy with the lightsaber holster.

          • UW8316154

            See, right there, downfist, upfist. The fist goes up and down, and back up again.

          • 102415

            I don't know? I'm not allowed to eat in the cafeteria. If I didn't sneak out I'm probably handcuffed in the principal's office. You are welcome!

  • http://grandpaboy.blogspot.com/ seppdecker

    If we could figure out how to turn stupid into electricity, she could power the entire east coast.

    • http://guyclinch.blogspot.com GuyClinch

      Drill baby drill!

    • petehammer

      Just how big do you think the east coast is?

      Oh, were you talking the east coast of the continent?

      • AJWjr.

        East coast of alASKa?

    • tessiee

      Yeah, but she'd refuse to, because the East Coast isn't REAL Amurrka.

    • http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Armus UpFistTroll

      Shit, that's easy. Put 'er on a treadmill, and hang a gun and a Bible at the end. She'll run forever in her quest to cling to them.

      • ChessieNefercat

        You're absolutely right, and if she does get a trifle bored (the bible is a book, after all), just hang a microphone and a camera in front of her. We could power the whole west ccoast too. Free electric cars for everyone.

  • Arken

    The only reason Revere is heralded today is because Henry Wadsworth Longfollow thought 'Revere' was a good rhyming word.

    • Sue4466

      Fucking poets. Socialists, every damn one of them.

    • Pithaughn

      Call him, ask him what rhymes with "one who mangles English language."

      • smitallica

        "This woman is the meat in a stupid sangwich"?

      • ChessieNefercat

        "Call him, ask him what rhymes with "one who mangles English language.""

        Answer: "Palin"

      • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

        Wait Gingrich is Santa Claus now?

    • 102415

      And you know who else got a pretty nice silver bowl?

      • GOPCrusher

        The 2010 Chicago Blackhawks?

      • SheriffRoscoe

        King George the Third?

      • user-of-owls

        Ming the Merciless?

      • comrad_darkness

        The Detroit Red Wings . . . most seasons?

        • GOPCrusher

          Must. Fight. Urge. To. Downfist…………

      • flamingpdog

        Willie Nelson?

    • PostApocalypse

      @Arken – Hey, keep my penis out of this.

    • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

      For rhyme and meter, there are certain flaws
      with the name of William Dawes

      • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ SpurningBeer

        When I was a young Rastaman, decades ago, in high school in Alabama, a football coach/history teacher taught us about that patriot, but pronounced his last name "DAW-weeze."

        Your couplet doesn't scan or rhyme for me.

        • tessiee

          This made me imagine Da Bears fans pronouncing his name as "Da Weeze".

  • http://thethingsrepublicanshate.com/ Chillwaver

    She's learnin' and educatin' us alright:
    "The "One Nation Tour" is part of our new campaign to educate and energize Americans about our nation's founding principles, in order to promote the Fundamental Restoration of America."

  • Cat_Damon

    i had to stop after 0:25 seconds. i know there's only 8 seconds left, but i JUST. CAN'T. LISTEN. to that woman speak. good god.

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      Replay it on mute you have to see the anchor's expression. this one http://www.rumproast.com/index.php/site/comments/

      • ChessieNefercat

        Ooh, I like the comment section at the bottom with little clicky boxes to put in bold, italic, quotes, etc.

        Oh, also the anchor's expression. I think perhaps the beginning of the end for history's most annoying political vampire will be when the media decides that all the cool kids know that Sarah is to be laughed at.

        Hopefully we are coming to the end of seeing anchors with the "Look at me, see me gently furrow my brow and look serious, not that I have a clue what I'm yammering on about" expression in regard to Palin.

        • tessiee

          "I think perhaps the beginning of the end for history's most annoying political vampire will be when the media decides that
          *all the cool kids know that Sarah is to be laughed at*."

          Isn't that pretty much the raison d'etre for Wonkette?

    • http://www.udargo.com MaxUdargo

      I notice she has a "tell" when she knows she's making shit up and has wandered off into the corn maze: her voice gets louder and her pitch even higher. Watch it again and notice how her voice changes at about "riding his HORSE THROUGH TOWN…" I think that's the point where she realized she'd been trapped in a corner by yet another "gotcha" question from the lamestream media.

      • ChessieNefercat

        "…wandered off into the corn maze"

        Oh, I love that!

        Yeah, yet another gotcha question to a US presidential candidate: "Who was Paul Revere?"

        • tessiee

          "another gotcha question to a US presidential candidate: "Who was Paul Revere?""

          It's a spectacular race to the bottom.
          In another couple of weeks, her interviews will be like the Saturday Night Live Version of "Jeopardy" with Burt Reynolds and Sean Connery:
          Alex Trebek: Name a number between one and ten.
          Sean Connery: Your mother, Alex.
          Alex Trebek [desperate]: OK, name a color. Any color. Just say something.

        • http://www.udargo.com MaxUdargo

          I love it too, but it isn't a Max Udargo original. Tina Fey used the expression while discussing her impersonation.

          My favorite comment on the half-baked Alaskan, and I can't remember who said it, but it's perfect: "Sarah Palin uses words the way a squid uses ink."

  • baconzgood

    "the fucking moron is comming the moron is comming"

    -Paul Revere about Sarah Palin-

    • Tundra Grifter

      Isn't that was Duh Guv'Nor screamed at Todd?

  • Lazy Media

    She probably thinks Revereware is a kind of coat.

  • http://guyclinch.blogspot.com GuyClinch

    Thank fake jeebus that Palin wasn't around back then. She would've shrilly given away the whole game. I mean, look how quietly she goes on a family vacation that she asserts is not a publicity tour.

    She's just going around and, uh, pretending to visit historic sites and, uh, ridin' that bus and blowin' that horn, lettin' 'em know the stupid are comin'!

    • finallyhappy

      One of the kids- I forget the other names -complained that the press was ruining their vacation. Hey, stupid- your mom did not take you on vacation.

      • http://intensedebate.com/logout Gleem_McShineys

        Ha ha, poor kid. The blame-redirection / martyr genes are strong in this one, but she just hasn't got the the Big Grift Picture skills down quite yet.

        Successful media-whores make sure they single out specific targets in the press. That way, your captive army of KFC-receptacle-people can scooter out and mount the attack. You don't just blame "the press," it's too generic, and mostly because blob-Americans can't get their rage-ons up without media stimulation.

        Plus, you have to use those emotional power words. "Ruining our vacation" is just meh. There is no such thing as too much melodrama for the Teabaggers.

        So, "MSNBC is suicide-bombing our peaceful family time! THEY WANT TO ABORT OUR TOGETHERNESS LIKE A FETUS!!"

      • Negropolis

        Did you see how she was using Piper (the little one) for crowd control? I am not kidding. As they were walking, Piper, looking like a pro, was directing the media crush whilst walking. Sarah's training that girl to be her aide. It was really sad. :(

        • 102415

          According to her neighbors in Alaska when they complained about traffic on their street she sent Willow out to sell lemonade and then said everyone was being mean to her kid in retaliation. It's why she always has a kid with her. Remember when dragged one out on the baseball field thinking no one would dare to boo her? She suckered Letterman with that one and he had to apologize for a pretty funny joke. It's why so many women hate her. She is a shit.

          • Negropolis

            When the creepy author dude moved in next door to her to write his book about her, it was reported that she sent Track out to exercize on the Palin lawn as an intimidation tactic. That woman is horrible to those children. She totally uses people. We now have at least one example for each child how she uses them.

            This woman has no friends; she can't make personal bonds. She's a sociopath, quite frankly.

        • ChessieNefercat

          Yes, and I saw another media person put his arm out to keep the poor little kid from falling in the midst of all the jostling. Mommy dearest never even noticed.

          I also noticed how that little kid stayed pressed up against a grown man who was a stranger to her. Mommy dearest never even noticed that, either.

          What mother or father wouldn't grab their kid in a scrum like that and hold them close to protect them, while carrying on their adult conversation?

          She is a sickening excuse for a mother.

          • tessiee

            "Yes, and I saw another media person put his arm out to keep the poor little kid from falling in the midst of all the jostling. Mommy dearest never even noticed.

            I also noticed how that little kid stayed pressed up against a grown man who was a stranger to her. Mommy dearest never even noticed that, either."

            Good Lord, that's horrible! Those poor kids.
            No wonder Whistle falls on her back with her legs in the air for anyone who shows her a scrap of attention.
            If I weren't a heartless shit, I would actually feel very sorry for those kids.

        • tessiee

          "Did you see how she was using Piper (the little one) for crowd control? … Piper, looking like a pro, was directing the media crush whilst walking. Sarah's training that girl to be her aide."

          Well, she *was* going to use the fat one as a prop for abstinence, but that didn't work, because Brillo couldn't keep her legs closed. Then she was going to use the dumb one as a prop for… I don't know, forced pregnancy or something?… and that seems to be working, so she's one for one so far.

          So you really can't blame her too much for seeing what kind of use she can get out of Peeper or whoever, because until they get big enough to help out around the meth lab, they have to earn their keep *some* way. She's not about to pay for all those damn kids herself, you know.

    • occams8ball

      "It's not in our charter! This is not what our founding royals intended!

    • neiltheblaze

      Sarah, like all Conservatives, would have been a Tory.

  • CivicHoliday

    On the plus side, she just won herself a gig as a visiting professor at Bob Jones University, where she can make her books required reading in her class "The Constitution and Me: Patriotism for Dummies"

    • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ SpurningBeer

      That's just a little bit premature, CH. She hasn't been awarded her honorary GED at Pensacola Christian College yet.

      • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

        She should just write to Thomas Edison State Teachers College, our state(Idaho) Superintendent of Schools got a sweet degree in weights and measures from there. http://www.43rdstateblues.com/?q=node/5805

      • jqpublick

        Why don't you just show her YOUR Phd. She'll probably be jealous all the way to the bank

    • trondant

      Possibly the only "college" in the US where the campus bookstore is a Spencer Gifts.

      • CivicHoliday

        No no silly, it's a "Torrid" – you have to cater to the plus-sized, remember?

    • jqpublick

      There she is making all that money, ain't that a bitch. And there you are not making all that money. Lif just ain't fair. Man up and deal with it.

  • BlueStateLibel

    Sun comes up, sun goes down, Ms. Eloquence herself mangling American history.

    • FlameCCT

      While Mrs. Palin may not be eloquent, she did not mangle American history.

  • chascates

    If she's not in the news her speaking fees drop. But if she speaks she exposes herself as an idiot.

    • user-of-owls

      Which, perversely, increases the size of her crowds.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Sort of a perverse version of the Prisoner's Dilemma.

    • ChessieNefercat

      "If she's not in the news her speaking fees drop. But if she speaks she exposes herself as an idiot. "

      What a good thing for her there are so many idiots willing to pay good money to listen to another idiot.

    • Jerri

      It's what Sarah calls a "Catch-42"

      • user-of-owls

        Oh, that was good. That was real good.

        • Jerri

          Heh. Thanks.

          Praise from Caesar, also.

    • Dashboard_Jesus

      kind of a cum-un-drum eh?

      • Negropolis

        Cummin' on drums, say you? Sounds kinky.

    • tessiee

      "But if she speaks she exposes herself as an idiot."

      Which she then turns to her advantage by whining, "The smart kids are all pickin' on me!"

  • freakishlywrong

    One if by bus, two if by hoverround.

  • baconzgood

    History: Make it up as you go along.

    • Gopherit

      Keep in mind, she appears to be home-schooling Piper. I am sure that will work out well for out future leader of Retardostan. Yes. I went there.

      • jqpublick

        You need help!

    • BarryOPotter

      History: Make it up as you go along.

      Unfortunately, with this one, that also applies to the English language…

    • petehammer

      Works for Michael Bay.

    • jqpublick

      You hit the nail on the head. The President has done it consistantly since he took office.

  • Pithaughn

    I hope my Aunt does not see this, it will literally kill her. She (my aunt ) was one of the original Title IX plaintiffs and fought for women's rights back when that would end your career. The fact that this Palin is considered a valid example of female leadership just makes her ( my aunt ) blood boil. This particular example of her ( Palin ) rank ignorance is potentially the worst/best example of her ability to bluff the low info voters/supporters with her word salad shtick.

    • Buckminster

      No kidding. When is this woman going to STFU and quit making women in general look bad?????

    • Nopantsmcgee

      Yeah, but she's not the only example Women have.

      They got Michele Bachmann, too.

      I'm sorry, ladies.

      • Pithaughn

        Yes Bachmann, she is the one who could possibly attain a real following. Michelle, I think, truly believes what she is about, where as Palin is obviously in it for just herself. Bachmann would start a war to fulfill the doomsday prophecies of her branch of Christianity.

        • Dashboard_Jesus

          personally I think Bachmann's Xtain shtick is just as phony as $carah's but the Minnestoa nutjob just does CRAZY better

      • BarryOPotter

        They got Michele Bachmann, too.

        That was just uncalled for (said the guy squirting seltzer water out of his nose)!

    • mog253

      Hey, there are plenty of dumb ass males out there, we're entitled to some of our own, just NOT THIS ONE! Sorry, didn't mean to let my ladyness slip. heh.

    • petehammer

      I dunno. It is a sort of progress. I think it is unfair to expect that all women/blacks/gays/etc in the limelight will be the best example. Look at us white dudes – whole lotta dumb asses (look at the current crop of Republican front runners). So, it is just statistics that you get Sarah Palin, Tyler Perry, and Perez Hilton. They're not doing any favors to their gender/race/sexual orientation, but hell, that's true for us white dudes too.

      • Geminisunmars

        Yes, it is true equality now that not all women don't have to be smart and pretty. What? I feel like my brain has suddenly become Palinized.

        • tessiee

          "it is true equality now that not all women don't have to be smart and pretty"

          I think it was Betty Friedan who said, "We'll have true equality when a female schlemiel can be as successful as a male schlemiel".

          She's definitely got a point, but I doubt that she had W and Sarah in mind.

          • Geminisunmars

            Who could imagine a W and an SP gaining any kind of traction, much less the kind of "success" they've enjoyed. But at least we got ourselves some equality. Silly me, I used to believe (I was young then) that when women had more power there'd be less war and more reproductive choice and support. Didn't Betty also say "Oy vey!"

      • Swampgas_Man

        Y'all overlook the obvious; it's BECAUSE these people are pinheads that they succeed in selling to a stupidity-starved public. The scum also rises.

        • NorthStarSpanx

          Ironically, Title IX is her only reference of record to positive feminism.

  • user-of-owls

    Mildly Surprised:
    She didn't say Revere was part of Feal Team Tif.

    Wounded to the Core of My Very Soul:
    Knowing that this, this…oh god, there are no words left…is able to cast a vote.

  • SexySmurf

    Ringing those bells? Did she confuse Paul Revere with The Hunchback of Notre Dame. (Not the book. The cartoon version).

    • mavenmaven
    • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ SpurningBeer

      The bells were on his bicycle. Duh.

      • AJWjr.

        So Paul Revere was Mike Oldfield? Alrighty!

    • ChessieNefercat

      I think she thought his horsey had the Liberty Bell around its neck.

    • tessiee

      "Ringing those bells? Did she confuse Paul Revere with The Hunchback of Notre Dame."

      No, if only because she thinks the hunchback of Notre Dame is the same person as Nostradamus.

  • Bonzos_Bed_Time

    So the bus trip took her up to Concord NH?
    That's where this Revere guy made his fancy pots to sell at the Wal*mart, you betcha'.

  • Gopherit

    FREEDUMB!!!

    • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

      Remember that Freedumb isn't free. It was paid for with the blood of clever folks with well organized thoughts and goals working for something other than a payoff for themselves.

  • SheriffRoscoe

    I know that we have a lot school teachers and college professors here as commenters on Wonkette (maybe that's the reason teabaggers hate us?)……Anyway! I'm wondering if any of you guys have seen that look before. You know, the look one of your more mentally challenged students has on her face when she's trying to bullshit you through an answer to one of her homework questions, and thinks she's actually pulling it off? I can't believe that smug, confident look can be on the face of someone soooooo stooooopiddddddd.

    • JoeBiteme

      I'm no teacher, but that's precisely what I was just thinking. She has a look that says "I know this is total bullshit, but I have so little respect for you and everyone else watching that I'm just going to keep talking and assume you don't know either."

    • Sue4466

      Absolutely! That is exactly the look I recognized, I see it in class all the time. I don't fall for it then either.

    • LesPaultard

      It's the same look I saw on Bush's face during the first debate with Algore.

      • freddymcmurray

        Totally. And while wearing his earpiece.

      • jqpublick

        Is this the same Al Gore that invented the internet? Now there a mental giant if ever there was one.

    • Captain_Quark

      You should see it in a logic class as the student says "Uh, the main logical operator in this formula is, like, the operator that is the one we call 'main' so here, uh, I'd say it is that one over there on the left. Also." It's good that guns are not allowed on campus, because I'd be sorely tempted to shoot some of the ignorant fucks for their own good.

    • Beowoof

      Oh yes the look, of the willfully ignorant spouting their opinions when facts are needed. Yes, yes I have seen that look many times.

      • AutomaticPilot

        It's that well-known "wolf in the helicopter lights" look.

    • prommie

      Its the look of a sociopath.

      • Oblios_Cap

        I've got some dim-witted coworkers who, not surprisingly, make sentences that sound a lot like hers except in a less irritating voice.

      • Dashboard_Jesus

        fucking WIN of the day (Night?) IMHO!

    • user-of-owls

      Oh yes, that look. Did I tell you it is much more prevalent now than when I joined the faculty in 1990?

      Look upon a culture that worships Palin and Snooki, ye intellectuals, and despair.

      • Doktor Zoom

        Ozymandias warned uh, Kubla Khan that he wasn’t gonna be lookin’ at our mighty works, and, uh by sneering and frownin' at that wrinkled brow, and um, makin’ sure as he’s riding his horse and givin' that cold command that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed. And so he left 'em without a leg to stand on, you bet!

    • ThankYouJeebus

      I see whenever I watch America's Dumbest Home Videos.

    • GOPCrusher

      Even Miss Teen South Carolina must be shaking her head in disbelief.

    • PsycWench

      YES. Also we recognize the strung-together sentence construction of the completely clueless. A couple of our Phi Beta Kappa students were watching the interviews with Katie Couric and I explained to them that her answers were exactly like a test answer when the student was completely clueless but felt compelled to spit out an answer; also see Miss Teen South Carolina and maps.

    • kissawookiee

      The level of conceptual mastery represented by any such answer is usually inversely proportional to the number of key words and unrelated participles strung together in a single, gloriously awful, runon sentence. Thank god the inability to divide the above by zero protects us from the event horizon of stupid she threatens to trigger every time she opens her mouth.

    • http://www.frso.org/index.htm 4TheTurnstiles

      yes, it's called the Dunning-Krueger hypothesis and explains everything having to do with our great Tea Party patriots
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Krug

      • lulzmonger

        aka "My answer was PERFECT! Your QUESTION was wrong! Hah! I win!"

    • Dudleydidwrong

      I saw it many times in many classrooms. The difference is that, at least in top-level classes, the other students knew that this was "bullshit time" and you could see the smiles and nods and the hands up in the air. I hope that people in the US understand Palin's bullshit for what it is, but the knowledge level of many voters is about that of Palin herself. Many will say "She's right!" or "It doesn't matter, she's still right." Palin's bus trip is a fucking wave of stupidity washing over the land.

    • Jerry_Barry

      Yes, I know actually that look you are talking about! LOL. Great observation!
      And something else wasn’t she in the North Church when she made this comment. Wouldn’t the answer be on one of the walls so she could read it? It would have been better for her to read it directly off the wall instead of bullshitting her way through with that weird look you mention in your comment.

  • mavenmaven

    The Sarah Palin BullS$%& Bus! Coming to Foul Your City Soon!

  • Buzz Feedback

    Who says junior college doesn't pay?

    • Sue4466

      The folks who teach there?

    • GOPCrusher

      Cam Newton's Dad.

      • horsedreamer_1

        WAR EAGLE comes to the WAR BLOG.

    • http://intensedebate.com/logout Gleem_McShineys

      Benjamin Franklin said this, in 1776, when he and his wife, Kitty Hawk, flew the first electric kite over the address in Gettysburg where Lincoln shot state's rights.

      • BarryOPotter

        Oh, but that I had more fists to give up to thee!

      • ProgressiveInga

        That shit genuinely made me laugh out loud. Thank you sir/madam.

      • freddymcmurray

        Well done. Just the way I like my mooseburgers.

    • Negropolis

      Junior college. Ha! That bitch graduated from clown college. Let me rephrase that; she quit halfway through Clown U.

  • CrunchyKnee

    "— if he was banging on bells and firing shots into the sky like some common Wasilla meth freak with a semi-automatic?"

    Indeed!

    Her dumbcuntyness never ceases to amaze, also too.

  • baconzgood

    Today North Idaho Community College is proud.

    • 102415

      Probably not so much.

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      No, no Baconz we are not.

    • Negropolis

      This solves Bush's rehetorical question of: Is our children learning?

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Except that some poor fuck of a history instructor (probably adjunct) is drowning his sorrows in a lot of good northwestern microbrews and hoping that no one comes up to him at a faculty meeting and says "Say, wasn't she one of your students?"

  • Sue4466

    "— if he was banging on bells and firing shots into the sky like some common Wasilla meth freak with a semi-automatic?"

    FTW!

  • freakishlywrong

    Is she insinuating that the Kenyan Muslin British were going to disabuse the Real Americans patriots of their second amendment rights? Holy fuck.

  • SmutBoffin

    Listen 'tards and I'll get to tellin'
    of the midnight ride of Sarah Palin
    On the third of June, just this year
    Some methbilly put shit in your ear
    Who remembers that stupid yellin'?

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      From the whores of Bitchy Gloomee,
      Of the spinning Big Faux Newzroom
      Stood Downfister, the olde pruneface,
      Pointing with a thumb down turned,
      O'er the pointed wit of Wonkette,
      To the purple clouds of Murdoch

      • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

        Damn Oui I used to love that poem.

    • Jerry_Barry

      Very Good! Thank You!

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    You know that mythological story about this guy who could turn water into wine, heal lepers, and rose from the dead?

    It's people like Sarah Palin that created that myth.

    • biocurious

      I don't think she'd add the parts of the story that involved charity, unconditional love, and forgiveness, though.

    • Karma_Suture

      … A rose from the dead.

      I like it.

  • KommunistKitty

    Every time a bell rings, a handgun gets its wings.

    • AJWjr.

      I think $arah took carillon at Northern Idaho Community College. Which is probably dangerously close to the University of Southern North Dakota at Hoople.

      • Negropolis

        Are we sure she didn't attend Northern South Carolina State at Blurgh or the University of Eastern West Virginia at Voisian?

        • AJWjr.

          I don't think she had a passport back then, so maybe wouldn't have been allowd to travel there?

      • tessiee

        "University of Southern North Dakota at Hoople"

        I'm assuming you made this up, and I don't know what a "hoople" is, but it's a perfect word, place, or food for Lou Sarah.

      • flamingpdog

        Sarahgenia in Brooklyn!

    • NYNYNY

      "Hmm…it's someone patriotic from history doing something of importance…he must having been yelling like an idiot, running around shooting a gun" is what she was thinking as she answered the question. Piper is thinking "Oh God, she's really cocking this up."

  • Barb

    The downfister is coming! They are going to take away our guns. I am ringing the bell for our freedumbs!

    • El Pinche

      Every time he comes over here i sneak over to his place to bang his sister/mom.

      • 102415

        Say hi to her. I like to wait until 3 AM.

        • El Pinche

          We can switch times tomorrow. It's no fair having sloppy seconds everyday.

          • Fare la Volpe

            Or you can double team her. On Downfisty's race car bed.

          • tessiee

            Yeah, but that's a dollar extra, so you guys would have to have three dollars instead of two.

      • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

        Get your shoes out from underneath her bed those fuckers stink.

    • AJWjr.

      I'm not sure Pete Seeger had this in mind when he wrote that song, but OK.

  • tihond

    I would watch a show called "Sarah Palin Explains US History." Where, without research, she would tell what happened at various points in our history…

    For example: "The Civil War was started because the North wanted to force the South to abort all of their babies, and also."

    • Selfish_T

      "…and then Bill Ayers shot Ronald Reagan to try to impress Michelle Obama…"

    • phlox✔

      This reminds me of a long ago SNL skit with Janeane Garofalo as "Time Traveling B-Minus History Student" or some such.
      Crux: She had such a tenuous grasp of American history, every time she went back in time she made thing much, much worse.

    • tessiee

      "For example: "The Civil War was started because the North wanted to force the South to abort all of their babies, and also.""

      Silly person. That was the Wimmenz Libberz with the aborted babbys. The Civil War was to force the South to let the n*****s take over.

    • Jerry_Barry

      Doesn't Alaska book stores sell those books; "HIstory for Dummies?"

    • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

      I'd love to hear her account of the Boston Tea Party..

      The colonists wanted the tea that the British death panels had outlawed, so they went to the .. um .. ship to get it anyway because .. um .. government takeover of the tea companies was against the Constitution.

  • Come here a minute

    Listen my children, and let me tell ya
    About a Snowbilly Grifter who came from Wasilla.

  • freakishlywrong

    She's drunk there, right?

    • user-of-owls

      I, for one, really, really don't want to know the answer to that question. The ramifications are mortifying.

    • Buckminster

      Nopers, drunk doesn't go anywhere far enough to explain tha extreme stupidity.

    • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

      That used to be my explanation/excuse for saying really dumb stuff–"I was drunk at the time" but it only works about once a year. To account for the Palin level of stupidity she would have to be putting away at least a fifth per day for 10 years.

    • FNMA

      I think that level of intoxication would be lethal.
      At least to humans.

      • WVUer21

        She's drunk with dumbassness.

        • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

          Welcome.

    • AJWjr.

      That was my excuse for around 20 years, too.

    • comrad_darkness

      I was going with high on meth.

  • littlebigdaddy

    He also was the subject of the first great work of American portraiture. Some people have all the luck.

  • neiltheblaze

    Goddamn, I didn't even know the Tundra Twit was even in town. I am really loving this "visiting the historical sights" tour – where she looks at the statues, but still walks away not knowing the first friggin' thing about the actual history.

    This numbskull isn't even teachable.

    • AJWjr.

      Please. Those are statutes.

      • neiltheblaze

        In that clip she's repealing Paul Revere's Statute then?

    • [redacted]hse

      Hey, Neil- I'm in the Historic Lexington-Concord area, but I'm gonna bet she won't show up around here. She'll head straight to AZ for some R&R after this shit.

      • neiltheblaze

        If she does, I hope she gets stuck in traffic on Route 2 for a couple of hours. She'd stop at Walden Pond, but that Thoreau feller was a commie.

  • ArmoredBore

    …are you sure that's how it goes? Or who said it?

    …eh, nevermind, sounds right.

  • CapeClod

    She should really hire someone to hit her in the head with a shovel whenever she goes off on one these thought odysseys.

    • user-of-owls

      Hire? With a line of volunteers that stretches beyond the moon?

      • http://wonkette.com Ken Layne

        Talk about your unpaid internships ….

      • CapeClod

        Perhaps I'm just projecting. I long for a job that I look forward to doing everyday.

    • Steverino247

      "Wire the Governor and tell him I said (CLANG!) OW!"

    • Pithaughn

      I like "thought odyssey". Please compare and contrast with one of Dr. Einstein's thought experiments. Be sure to include reference to an event horizon. Based on the data so far presented , Palin must be getting close to a black hole of some sort. The tidal forces in her brain are increasing in the expected inverse squared pattern.

    • tessiee

      "She should really hire someone to hit her in the head with a shovel whenever"

      fxt

  • user-of-owls

    Apparently, they migrate north for the summer.

    • Oblios_Cap

      And become more resistant to antibiotics.

      • user-of-owls

        I thought she was pro-biotics.

  • teebob2000

    And it won't make a fucking bit of difference.

    • DustBowlBlues

      The dumber she is, the more her adoring fans love her.

      • ChessieNefercat

        Because "she's just like us"…

  • Wilcoxyz

    So what this Jefferson dude was saying was that we need some cool rules here, pronto. Or we'll just be bogus, too.

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      You Dick!

  • http://www.frso.org/index.htm 4TheTurnstiles

    Teabaggers will only love her more for this, you know. She is indeed one of theirs.

    • Buckminster

      Fatheaded, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, Sarah.

      • 102415

        Downfister is back from lunch. Fixed.

      • http://intensedebate.com/logout Gleem_McShineys

        It's not exactly "no way to go through life" anymore. The argument can be made that going that way actually earns you quite a bit of dough and fame.

        When did we transition to "Land of Derpportunity"

    • GOPCrusher

      Bible Spice is a victim of "gotcha" history.

  • SayItWithWookies

    It's like the Republican leadership all got together to analyze why the Dubya administration was such a failure and concluded that he was too bright for his own good, so they came up with Sarah Palin, a walking, talking abortion of basic knowledge.

    • tessiee

      I like to think of her as the part in the Venn diagram where "stupid", "mean-spirited", and "whorey" all intersect, but "walking, talking abortion of basic knowledge" is real good, too.

  • Ruhe

    The fact that Sarah Palin's prodigious stupidity/vapidity density is not sufficient to overcome the Columb barrier and thus result in a Palin singularity gives us cause to think that the entire Quantum Theory of Gravity may be flawed at some deep level. Either that or God hates us all.

  • finallyhappy

    Send me a 2 pack of the cream/jam scones from Tesco- I don't drink- but afternoon tea is a super idea

  • Steverino247

    Important personality is quoted: http://www.hark.com/clips/nsvdjzkfdz-what-a-maroo

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Isn't it about time to change up that picture?

    • Pithaughn

      Check me if I'm wrong Sandy, but his gramps fondling his nip there?

    • http://www.wonkette.com Pres[EXTERMINATE!!]

      Sarah needz moar Star of David-wearing opportunities.

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      Hooray for PonyPals.

    • tessiee

      I have a new life goal:
      I want to be Popper's therapist.
      Five sessions a week, I figure I'll retire rich at the end of a year.

      • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

        You'll have to come out of retirement when she hits puberty.

    • Doktor Zoom

      God…in 15 years or so, just imagine the revenge memoir that girl's going to write!

    • Negropolis

      I love how they described her as a "human shield" That is about as accurate a description as what I've seen as to how she uses Piper. Trig is a prop and Piper is a shield. She keeps her nearby so that no reporter would dare to try and embarrass her in front of her young child. Obviously, that doesn't always work.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Cherokee People!

  • SheriffRoscoe

    Is that her dad in the end of the video? Yep. That look of "that's my girl!" pride.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    How many blunts did Lou Sarah smoke with the Donald after their Armenian pizza party?

  • SmutBoffin

    PAUL REVERE TWEETED LITHOGRAPHS OF HIS DONG TO JOHNNY TREMAINE

  • Tundra Grifter

    First Duh Guv'Nor gets it wrong with the "Ring My Bell" thing and then, with nothing else to say, doubles down and repeats it. Just so everyone is sure she has no idea what she's talking about.

    What the L? Michele thought Concord was in New Hampshire. Now this.

    PS: I see the Chuck Norris downfister is at work here. Please do your best to fight the forces of reactionary historical revisionism! We don't need no stinkin Lou Sarah here!

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      I really don't blame her(Sarah) for misspeaking, it can happen to anyone, what gets me is her ignorant unbending "no I'm right and you're wrong" mentality.

      • tessiee

        Good observation.

        I've known people who are… perhaps not terribly bright, but in general they're good people, not hateful shitheads like Sarah.

        Sarah, like W before her and Raygun before him, is AGGRESSIVELY ignorant.
        When confronted with facts or knowledge of any kind, her reaction is to plug her fingers into her ears and sing "LA LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!"

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    Can't wait until she starts looking for green colored boys in the mountains of Vermont!

    • DashboardBuddha

      She'll be disappointed until she gets the White Mountains of NH.

      • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

        She ain't never going to Black Hills of SD then… Who knew that Mount Rushmore was in the hood?

        • DashboardBuddha

          My name is Rosie V
          and I'm here to say
          they gonna carve my face
          on a motherfuckin' mountain one day

        • tessiee

          "She ain't never going to Black Hills of SD"

          Is that why they're the Badlands?
          ["That's right; we bad" *struts*]

    • AJWjr.

      Too much copper makes you turn green, right?

  • MinAgain

    That man was a poet.

  • user-of-owls

    You know what really pisses me off? The anchor, that's what.

    "…but it sounds like she got a little confused." *mild grin*

    Yup. That's all he goes with. Just, "a little confused." Not HOWARD FUCKING BEALE.

    And we wonder why this rapacious hate-monster's name can be uttered in the same fucking sentence as "presidential candidate."

    My day just got a lot suckier.

    • freakishlywrong

      But, but but..crotches! Twitttering crotch shots and Demonraps!

      • June_Cleaver2.0

        Hey, I like Anthony Weiner better because of that pic!

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Idjets breed like bunnies, PhDs not so much. If we continue this way in forty years folks may be nostalgic for Palin's intellect.

      /runs to the roof and leaps from the parapet

      • user-of-owls

        What the fuck you tryin' to do, Weej, hasten our doom?? Get yer ass back down from the roof right this minute.

        Oh, and procreate, goddamit.

    • FNMA

      The only proper response from the anchor would have been: What the fuck was that?

      • GOPCrusher

        We also would accept: And people would vote for her?

    • [redacted]hse

      What the world needs now is H.L.Mencken.

      • Sheesko

        I'd settle for someone who even recognizes the name. :(

      • tessiee

        Wasn't it Mr. Mencken who said that no one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public?

        Pretty on-point in this context, whoever said it.

    • tessiee

      Meh [shrug] It's not a big college town.

  • MinAgain

    Was Paul Revere an undocumented immigrant? Hey, I'm just asking a question.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Like Barack Hussein Obama, Revere was born a subject of the British crown. So, if nothing else, his presence in the Massachusetts Bay Colony was, at the least, as an anchor-baby.

  • gef05

    The press playing gotcha history again.

  • Beowoof

    “A fool and his money are soon elected”.
    ~Will Rogers

    You can fool some of the people all the time, and those are the ones you want to concentrate on”.
    ~George W. Bush

    The Bush quote on fools, I do believe exposes Sarah's election strategy. The Will Rogers quotes scares me into thinking it could happen.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Only if she gets pregnant again.

    • SheriffRoscoe

      I see what you did there.

  • MiniMencken

    I think this little "women's suffrage" experiment has gone on long enough! The results speak for themselves.

    • Geminisunmars

      Hey hey! Watch it, Buddy. There are plenty dumbass mens too, ya know.

    • Eve8Apples

      Don't forget it was Mr. Johnny McCain who lured the twit from the frozen tundra out of her trailer and unleashed her crazy on the rest of us.

      • freddymcmurray

        Never. Forget.

        • MiniMencken

          What part of "snark" don't you understand?

  • VespulaMaculata

    " … their [The Tea Party] biggest national superstar is Sarah Palin, who by all appearances is so drastically stupid that she couldn't figure out how to pour piss out of a boot if there were directions on the heel. " – William Rivers Pitt, September 2010

    • tessiee

      You and Mr. Pitt are giving her way too much credit to assume that she would know in the first place that a boot shouldn't be full of piss.

  • user-of-owls

    *Clip Ends*

    "And that, children, is why it is never a good idea to dabble in Do-It-Yourself Trepanation."

    • Geminisunmars

      This site is such a great vocabulary builder.

    • flamingpdog

      Is Trepanation one of her chilluns?

  • jaytingle

    If Revere had been a goldsmith rather than a silversmith she would have nailed it.

  • Steverino247

    Get thee to a neurologist!

  • Rosie_Scenario

    Poor Piper looks miserable on her "vacation." And where is Trig? In the bus storage bin?

    • Lucidamente1

      Jack Stuef is babysitting him.

    • fuflans

      somebody on NPR yesterday said piper whined the entire time, asking when they could leave.

      poor kid. good thing she'll grow up with sound values and grifter genes.

      • ChessieNefercat

        Any bets that poor little thing will be a cutter within 3-4 years?

        Before she grows up and goes on to bigger and better dysfunctions, that is.

        Unless somebody steps up and actually lovingly parents her! Somebody? Anybody? Come on, Wasilla!

        • GOPCrusher

          I'll go with she guts it out until she graduates high school, then pens a novel of her childhood life that will make Mommy Dearest look like a Dr. Spock child rearing how-to.

          • horsedreamer_1

            At least Truman Capote is dead, so no one will suggest he ghostwrote it.

          • tessiee

            I believe Kitty Kelley is alive and well.

    • [redacted]hse

      Trig is in Arizona with his mother.

      • Geminisunmars

        zinnnngggg

      • Negropolis

        You are horrible.

    • tessiee

      "where is Trig? In the bus storage bin?"

      Superglued to the roof along with Mitt Romney's dog.

      • flamingpdog

        Truly sick, but I SO wish I could upfist it multiple times!

  • SheriffRoscoe

    So are we all in agreement? The GOP should definitely annoint this woman "Candidate For President."

    • UpfistFairy

      But I thought Jesus wanted Crazy Eyes Bachmann. Or can god not even tell one grifter from another at this point?

      • AJWjr.

        Belief in the trinity makes them all particularly sucky at maths.

      • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

        God hates Bachman for not having all 23 kids herself.

    • ChessieNefercat

      President of what, for God's sake?

    • Jerri

      "Candidate" looks awfully close to "Canadian" to your average half-literate teabagger. They should probably go with "American for President."

    • tessiee

      "The GOP should definitely annoint this woman "Candidate For President." "

      Agree wholeheartedly.
      Wait.
      By "anoint", you DO mean "urinate on en masse", don't you?

  • freakishlywrong

    This is one idiot who really needs a handler, I know she's Rogue and all, but I think even Weepy or whatever perennially embarrassed Palin child that is, was trying to get out of the shot.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    She's ready for Jeopardy

    • Buckminster

      Heck, she's not ready for Wheel of Fortune or Let's Make A Deal.

      • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

        Ok, maybe she should start off with Card Sharks.

        • tessiee

          Win Ben Stein's Money!

    • SayItWithWookies

      Provided she goes up against Wolf Blitzer and a cheese Danish.

      • AJWjr.

        Somehow, she'd mangle it up to be a cheesewolf blintz.

    • BarackMyWorld

      I'll take The Penis Mightier, Trebek.

      • AJWjr.

        Famous The Rapists for $100, Trebek.

    • Steverino247

      I'll take Alaskan Grifters for President, Alex.

    • AutomaticPilot

      "Forget it. Just write a number, any number."

      Threve.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Will Ferrell as Trebek: You commonly drink water from one of these.

      [Darrell Hammond as Connery buzzes in]

      Trebek: Sean Connery, yes…

      Connery: A leather glover.

      Trebek: No. That is incorrect.

      [Molly Shannon as Minnie Driver buzzes in]

      Trebek: Yes? Minnie Driver…

      Driver: A toilet!

    • tessiee
    • Negropolis

      Put her up against Watson, pleazes.

  • mavenmaven

    Will these hostile questions from the lamestream media never end?

    • ChessieNefercat

      Sure! As soon as you shut the fuck up and ram your fucking empty skull into a glacial crevasse. Or into a stucco wall. I don't care which.

    • Tundra Grifter

      It's just another gotcha – as in, "Lady – you gotcha facts all wong!"

  • gef05

    I guess she has her own version of the "I'm with stupid" t-shirt. One where the arrow points straight up.

  • Oblios_Cap

    But she's just so fuckin' Presidential!

    • GOPCrusher

      And Mavericky!

      • ChessieNefercat

        And morony!

        • Boehneriffic

          And now I'd like to entertain everyone with some fancy pageant walkin'.

          • DemmeFatale

            The Palin version of: "now watch this drive."

          • ChessieNefercat

            "Hold my beer, I'm gonna try something."

          • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

            I really don't remember what happened when I said that, but I know it hurt bad the next day.

          • tessiee

            Just don't expect her to chew gum at the same time.

  • iburl

    "It started way back in history
    With Adrock, M.C.A., and me – Mike D.
    Been had a little horsy named Paul Revere
    Just me and my horsy and a quart of beer
    Riding across the land, kicking up sand
    Sheriff's posse on my tail cause I'm in demand"

    I'm pretty sure this is her only information on Paul Revere.

    • Respitetini

      Nah. I'm pretty sure she stays away from all that "Urban" music.

      • ChessieNefercat

        Oh, I think she brags about being oh so cool with all the rap stuff. Didn't she twatter something about that during the squawkathon by rightards over that Urban fellow, Common, coming in the front door of the WHITE House?

      • http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Armus UpFistTroll

        The Beastie Boys are far less "urban" than many others, though, so perhaps they'd be okay by her.

        • horsedreamer_1

          Plus, Jews.

          I think Lou Sarah should add a Volkswagen logo chain to go with her Star of David.

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      Beasties were closer than she was.

  • BarackMyWorld

    I'm afraid to click on the video because of the effect it might have on my own I.Q.

    • tessiee

      It won't do your eardrums any favors, either.

  • PabaBritannica

    And that, children, is how we beat the Spaniards at Bunker Hill and won the gold medal in hockey.

  • Oblios_Cap

    and wanted more.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    That elitist teevee news guy was having way too much fun with this.

    It would have been more fun if they framed the interview camera from her chin to her navel. And muted the sound.

  • Lucidamente1

    "Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!"

    • DashboardBuddha

      Forget it, she's rolling.

      • genxr

        (to everyone who voted Republican) "Look, you fucked up. You trusted us."

      • Tundra Grifter

        Yeh – as in rolling over…

    • AJWjr.

      Now I understand her sudden need for a road trip.

  • J Rbt. Oppenheiner

    Can someone cue up keyboard cat to this soliloquy?

  • user-of-owls

    Rather curious that the clip brought to mind "Life Reeked With Joy."
    http://www.wilsonquarterly.com/article.cfm?AID=11

    A small sample:
    Germany was displaced after WWI. This gave rise to Hitler. Germany was morbidly overexcited and unbalanced. Berlin became the decadent capital, where all forms of sexual deprivations were practised. A hugeanti-semantic movement arose. Attractive slogans like”death to all Jews” were used by governmental groups. Hitler remilitarized the Rineland over a squirmish between Germany and France. The appeasers were blinded by the great red of the Soviets. Moosealini rested his foundations on eight million bayonets and invaded Hi Lee Salasy. Germany invaded Poland, France invaded Belgium, and Russia invaded everybody. War screeched to an end when a nukuleer explosion was dropped on Heroshima. A whole generation had been wipe out in two world wars, and their forlorne families were left to pick up the peaces.

    • NewYorkJew

      It's the "squirmish" thing …

      • user-of-owls

        I smell a trademark suit!

    • horsedreamer_1

      The presence of a Korean on the throne in Ethiopia should lend one pause when considering the Peninsula, in the pre-war era, an Hermit Kingdom. Clearly, they were colonizers.

  • June_Cleaver2.0

    I'm surprised she didn't mention that Paul Revere rode so we could have that Statute of Liberty.

    Romney must be sticking pins in his eyes.

    • [redacted]hse

      Paul Revere rode so we wouldn't have to.
      But she will anyway.

  • Mort_Sinclair

    What yer watchin' there is the result of the time Jed and Granny had to leave Jethro and Ellie May alone overnight.

    • tessiee

      ^
      Despite your personal description, you, Sir, win the Nobel Prize for this comment.

  • PuckStopsHere

    I don't know what happened, but I love my country again. How could you not? We are adorable. Who else would put this blithering idiot on a TV screen? God, I LOVE this place.

    • [redacted]hse

      I love this place,too, especially my new friends Randle and Nurse Ratched.

      • PuckStopsHere

        Well I don't wanna break up the meeting or nothin', but she's somethin' of a cunt, ain't she Doc?

  • pinkocommi

    Remember when lots of Americans didn't want to vote for Al Gore for President because he sounded too smart? Sarah Lou is the opposite of that, which means of course that she will get elected.

  • Dumbedup

    It's not that she is dumb. It is not that she is dumb and cocky. It's that people pay to hear her speak. The implications of that fact are immense.

    • GOPCrusher

      It's that people defend her for saying stupid shit. And that's even worse.

    • Steverino247

      Indeed, you're right!

      Anybody got the phone number to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention?

  • http://whatthefuckhasgopdonesofar.com/ Trollina Dumbass

    One thing she hasn't been doing, since the whole society drop-out thing is LEARNING AMERICAN HISTORY! I bet she still hasn't even read the CliffsNotes version of the Constitution nor the Declaration of independence. And this is what the Teapublicans want to represent the country?

    • ChessieNefercat

      "And this is what the Teapublicans want to represent the country?"

      All together now, "But she's just like us!" (Dumb as a stump, in other words.)

      • tessiee

        Also, she's fapping material for a lot of them.

  • smashaduck

    Bible Spice, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      Marco.

      • smashaduck

        Polo.

  • Poindexter718

    Sure that sounded a bit "off the cuff," but Barry Hussein Obama sometimes uses a teleprompter while giving a speech.

    • ChessieNefercat

      And so does everyone else, but the thing is, he teleprompters while black! And his middle name is HUSSEIN. And he's uppity (i.e., smarter than a dumbass white person like me).

  • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

    Given the way TP'ers revere the revolutionary era with their tricorn hats and "don't tread on me" and "ready your armies" … well, Sarah Palin™ has committed the unforgivable* sin of getting history wrong.
    ________________
    * just kidding, they're already updating textbooks in Texas to her version of events

    • prommie

      Its OK to be wrong, if your version of wrong confirms your bigotry and hate and justifies your crimes.

    • Sheesko

      Oh, I'm pretty sure Texas already took care of that. W prolly sent her the resulting text to bone up for her trip.

      • tessiee

        W prolly "sent her a bone" resulting in at least one "appendectomy" to take care of that.

        fxd

  • Oblios_Cap

    Didn't Bob Dylan write "Idiot Wind" knowing that $arah would appear on the scene one day?

  • carlgt1

    there is no snarky comment worthy of this – Sarah Palin has become a parody of herself….

  • Limeylizzie

    To be fair, I have not much clue about Paul Revere either, but I could have sounded intelligent as I waffled my way through an 'explanantion" and I would never be caught dead with that ghastly shade of pink blush.

    • AJWjr.

      Also, that hat.

    • 102415

      Lizzie, should we call an ambulance or shake your hand?

    • user-of-owls

      Your p's have flown away. You know what this means?

      IntenseDebate is in the pocket of Big Revere.

      • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

        This too happened to me, when lo my pee-ness was struck full sore. But it got better, like the guy who was turned into a newt through witchery.

        • user-of-owls

          As was mine, only to rise from the dead three days later.

          Ergo, P is Jesus.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

      But surely you must know something about when the British are coming.

    • BarackMyWorld

      You'd also have the brains to stop talking before you embarrassed yourself, though.

  • Nopantsmcgee

    Jesus! God, the Stupid just drips off of her….

    How in the hell can anyone fuck up the Paul Revere fable???? I mean come on it's been dumbed down to Idiot Level 1 and she still can't get it right.

    • ChessieNefercat

      The Stupid drips off her her? It sprays off of her like every water leak from every pipe and hull separation on every submarine movie ever made

      • tessiee

        Despite how many fingers she's had stuck in heragggggghhhhhh…

        *dies from grossout*

  • genxr

    Did she just say Paul Revere "Warned the British?"

    • 102415

      Yep. Technically she was right like a stopped clock.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Scolded them mightily, he did, and threatened to bang them over the head with a RevereWare omelet pan if they misbehaved.

    • ChessieNefercat

      "Did she just say Paul Revere "Warned the British?" "

      Yes. Yes, she did.

  • timbo71351

    Just think, 30% of the population wants that woman running the country and handling foreign policy.

    • neiltheblaze

      And access to the nuclear codes.

    • GOPCrusher

      I think it's more like 30% of people that vote. I would probably slash my wrists if I honestly believed it was 30% of the entire population.

    • tessiee

      30% of the population thinks that woman is a running cunt.

      fxd

    • comrad_darkness

      Because she makes them feel good about themselves. You must admit, that's likely a pretty damn rare thing.

  • AJWjr.

    So you want him to choke on his own vomit, then?

  • El Pinche

    The folks in the background in the video exactly represent her supporters: not paying attention to her mouth (just her tits), wondering "I hope get my medicare deposited this week", and standing in the buffet line.

    • SheriffRoscoe

      She was givin' a his'try lesson. They ain't got no use for that.

    • mourningnmerica

      Pinche, I just noticed the zero p. Seriously, what happened?

  • Sassomatic

    Not smarter than a 5th grader.

    • ChessieNefercat

      Not smarter than a zygote.

    • tessiee

      Hell, she's not even smarter than Jeff Foxworthy.

  • ingloriousbytch

    She forgot the "such as" and "whatnot."

    • ChessieNefercat

      Which is why she probably thinks she did such a swell job. Also too.

  • Sassomatic

    Was he the guy with the coonskin cap?

    • SheriffRoscoe

      That was Davy Crocker.

      • 102415

        That was Davy Hot Crocker.

        • user-of-owls

          You're both wrong. It was his son, Rockefeller "Fulla" Crock.

          • genxr

            The Crock Brothers?

          • Geminisunmars

            Weren't that Joe Cocker?

          • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

            No, no , no Ray Kroc.

          • horsedreamer_1

            You mean, the guy with a writing credit on Too Pack's "California Love"?

            (This is true.)

          • tessiee

            ???

            I thought it was Pat Boone.

    • ChessieNefercat

      "Was he the guy with the coonskin cap? "

      In Sarah's world, yes, yes, he was. And he kilt him a bar with a silver teapot.

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      No, he was the guy what raised the flag at the Alamo to celebrate the Louisiana Purchase after Lewis and Clark bought it from the Spaniards in exchange for the Fountain of Youth.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    I laughed heartily at your glamorous — yet earnest — post. I winced in pain, suddenly, knowing that there's still diesel in the tank for the climb that remains.

  • Allmighty_Manos

    At least she knew who Sam Adams was : "Brewer, Patriot"

  • Sassomatic

    You know what? Let's just elect this cunt President and nuke ourselves. I can't take it anymore.

    • mourningnmerica

      Take me now, Reagan.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    Fox News: Liberals expect Sarah to know everything!
    Oh, and Bill Clinton got a blow Job.

    • ChessieNefercat

      Our standards have declined. We expect Sarah to know something, anything.

      Actually, no we don't.

    • http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Armus UpFistTroll

      You don't understand. This is good news for Sarah Palin. How, you ask? Simple: she isn't usin' no fancy-ass librul talk. She's sputterin' and gibberin' just like y'all down thar in the trailer park.

      Today's American wants a President that is at least as inarticulate and cowfuckingly stupid as he or she is, and Sarah is just living up to that promise.

      • ChessieNefercat

        "cowfuckingly stupid"

        I like this.

  • spinozasgod

    maybe it would be forgiven if she was out in wassiland walking her honey badger and some random MSM person snuck up on her and asked to tell the story of Paul Revere, but she knew where she was and what she was going to talk about and she still didn't even bother to look it up on wikipedia for dogs sake!

    • ChessieNefercat

      She didn't even have to look it up on Wikipedia, for Gawd's sake. All she had to do was read Page 1 (under the picture) of whatever little informative tourist brochure it was that had to have been within 25 FUCKING FEET OF HER!!!

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    I don't mean to break stride here, everyone, but my chest is pounding in laughter from this post today. I am touch-typing because my eyes are too tear-logged to see. My chest is tight, and I am having a hard time breathing. If I can wade through this later tonight, I'm going to award p-ness to everyone for the goddamnedst exemplary snark and Palin-pecking I have seen to date. I am weeping in joy so much right now, that I cannot do it.

    • freakishlywrong

      Call 411!

    • [redacted]hse

      Take an aspirin and a nitro if you have any.

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      Apply alcohol liberally.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Sweet lord. If only Paul Revere would ride his horse out of the grave to give Ms. Palin a moment like this one:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBtXfBdEXEs

  • El Pinche

    Bless you KFTC

  • neiltheblaze

    What do you mean "will be"?

  • genxr

    That's why Tina Fey makes the big bucks.

  • SilverTsunami

    "Could Sarah Palin be stupider?"

    Oh, great. Now you went and asked!

    • kissawookiee

      Did we learn nothing from the Deciderer and "bring it on?"

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    We could hope she has staked-out a cooking class at Jeanne D'Arc School in Lowell. Could be a torch song for the perpetual victim.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    Paul Revere protected the Indians!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQ6RjP7MlXk&fe

  • SilverTsunami

    Yes, but did she make nice collectible creamers and teapots? I think NOT.

  • fuflans

    the squirmishes of lexington and concord…

  • Gold_ManSacks

    I hate her so much. The fact that there are millions of people who somehow can't see through her self-promoting lies and unfathomable stupidity makes me sad. Angry too but mostly sad.

    • [redacted]hse

      Prozac.

      • tessiee

        Tanqueray.

  • fuflans

    and vanity. never forget vanity.

  • ChessieNefercat

    I don't know, peak, heights, pinnacle, etc., usually implies a positive thing. We are looking for depths, I think.

    Sadly, I think the bottom of the Marianas Trench has competition when it comes to wondering what depths of stupidity, vapidity, avarice, and general assholery that silly cunt can reach.

  • franco_pinyon

    Just the other day, I was telling someone that there could not be a politician in America who was dumber than Michele Bachmann when it comes to American History.

    Boy, was I wrong!

    Is it something in the dark hair dye?

    • ChessieNefercat

      And somewhere, ol' Crazy Eyes smirks.

    • GOPCrusher

      And it still Friday afternoon, which means there is still time for someone to raise the bar even higher.

  • franco_pinyon

    This could be one of Jay Leno's "On the Street" interviews. One of the WORST!

    • ChessieNefercat

      Talk about redemption for every drunkass/stoned college stoont that ever flubbed up on tape for those interviews.

  • smitallica

    Sarah Palin has no idea who ____________ was, or what he did.

    Insert any person from history, ever, except maybe Jesus and/or Ronald Reagan (same thing).

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      Please. She couldn't get it right about those two, either.

    • ChessieNefercat

      Based on her speeches, policies, actions, and frequent violations of most of Jesus' commands (love one another, render unto Caesar, etc. etc.), I think it's safe to say that she doesn't know who Jesus was, or what he did.

    • carolinaswamp

      She definitely doesn't know what J.C. had to say.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    Someone here, many moons ago, posted about the Dunning-Krueger Effect. In fact, I'm fairly certain the original poster noted in a thread about Sarah Palin, but I digress.

    These are the kinds of things that can't be reported on, until she deems herself suitable for an evaluation. Fine, I can live with that. But just remember that the electorate will only pull against her, until they have no choice. Then snaps back the elastic band of "party unity."

    And we'll still never get that question answered, of whether she's mentally suitable for this much attention the job. I mean, we know the answer. But apparently her shit does not stink.

    • Steverino247

      That was PsycWench, I believe.

    • [redacted]hse

      If YOU pooped ice-cream you'd understand. It's a little like the Mensa group in a way.

    • tessiee

      "And we'll still never get that question answered, of whether she's mentally suitable for the job. I mean, we know the answer. But apparently her shit does not stink."

      She doesn't answer that question because she doesn't understand why she keeps getting asked that question.

      And she doesn't understand why she keeps getting asked that question, not only because she's pigfucking stupid, but also because, insofar as she can "think", she considers qualifications irrelevant. Like her predecessor, W, she's spent her entire life having everything handed to her just because she wanted it, and now feels that she's entitled to have the Presidency effortlessly handed to her, just because she wants it.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    And then Sarah Palin’s stupidity and vapidity reached the known threshold and she vanished into space-time. Not really. Not ever.

    Wonkette, Jr. you are such a tease.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Pres[EXTERMINATE!!]

    Waiting for Piper to cold-cock another reporter for asking Mama Grizzly gotcha questions on their private family vacation…

    • AJWjr.

      You know, I had a pretty fucked up childhood, too. I mean we never strapped Seamus the Dog to the roof of the Family Truckster or hired a tour bus and entourage to tool around Colonial USAmerica, but it was pretty fucked up. What I'm getting at, is that this has been poor little Wiper's entire life, so to her it's normal. It's gonna be a pretty spectacular unraveling, and we get to watch.

  • jackypants

    To be fair – the British regulars were marching to Concord to destroy a reported cache of milita supplies. So, in a very limited manner, it was kinda about the British takin' away our arms.

    It's not that she's 100% incorrect about American history, she just has a 2nd-graders' understanding of it.

    • Sheesko

      The lesson we take from this event is that Palin's cognitive skills are nil. She's known for her "word salad" conversational style. It appears she hears that way, too. She may actually have serious learning disabilities, no shit. The Dunning-Kreuger effect would explain why she doesn't appear at all interested in working on it.

      • ChessieNefercat

        Underneath learning disabilities may be a very intelligent but frustrated person. Underneath Sarah's learning disabilities, if she has any, is a just plain stupid, lazy person.

  • Redhead

    Of course. It's the teatard way. Revise history until it fits your needs. Just like George Washington and the rest of the founding fathers that didn't rest until they had abolished slavery, even though it took them 100 years of banging their slaves to get there.

    • http://www.wonkette.com Pres[EXTERMINATE!!]

      This isn't even revisionist history – it's alternate history, like General Lee's orders not being lost before the Battle of Antietam, leading to a Southern victory and ultimately an armistice. Or an obviously mentally challenged person being nominated for Vice President of the United States and later being taken seriously as a Presidential candidate. Same country, different universe. Oh, WAIT a second….

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    The Tea Party is coming, The Tea Party is coming…ALL OVER HER OILY TAITZ!!1!

  • mog253

    Well, we could use an exorcist just about now.

    • petehammer

      "The power of Christ compels you… to shut the hell up!"

  • Soylent Green

    i'm reminded of Miss Teen Ditz America 2008, when she blathered something about 'Da Africa'.

    • ChessieNefercat

      Sounds like Madeline Albright in retrospect, doesn't she?

  • sportshort

    Paul Revere met up with Obi Wan Kenobi and said, "The emperor is coming, the emperor is coming!"

    Obi said, "No."
    Paul said "What?"
    Obi said, "You can do what you want Paul, but
    the next time you see me coming, you better run…"
    Paul just pointed with his gun and said,
    "I'll be in Sarah the idiot's bus on Highway 61."

    That's the way I heard it.

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      I can't believe he's fucking 70 years old.

  • Veritas78

    Does the downfister know of Ken's new policy to give each negative pee-point 50¢ but each positive just 25¢? This dumbass troll is gonna make some of us rich. (Shhh…)

    • PalinPussyPower

      Don't speak about the Soros Bonus publicly, please.

  • anniegetyerfun

    Goodness knows that the Founding Fathers wanted nothing more than a heavily armed populace! How else were they supposed to shoot wolves from helly kopters?

  • DustBowlBlues

    So, if I have Sarah's idea of Paul Revere correct, he was warning the British that they weren't going to take away our precious Second Amendment rights.

    • tessiee

      He was warning us Amurrkins that the British were coming over to try and force us to have soshulizm health care like they have over there.

  • poorgradstudent

    Now this might be a reality TV show I'd actually want to watch, "Ask Sarah Palin Questions About History."

    "Sarah, what do you think of the significance of the Magna Carta?"
    "Um I think it set a pretty big precedent for the Founding Fathers since it let the British declare independence from the English and all."

    • ChessieNefercat

      The Cart being in front of the Magma such as, shows God in his wisdom as to the protection also too of personal property and thus as to the lack of not being needed for volcano protection and whatnot as our freedoms then stongly maintain through not raising taxes for volcano monitoring. The Cart is safe. And then um, yeah.

    • tessiee

      "Like that movie where Mel Gibson saved the British from the British".

  • jus_wonderin

    Words fail me. No, acshoeally…wrosd haf bigun 2 fayle mi.

    • ChessieNefercat

      Theoretically, Sarah should understand where you're coming from.

  • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

    Well, if the runnin' for president thingie doesn't work out for her, she could always run for Miss Teen South Carolina. Of course, she's not a teen, she's not from South Carolina, but she's certainly stupid enough.

    • UW8316154

      And still she wouldn't do better than third place.

  • DaSandman

    Goddam, who in their right mind could think this commuity college mattress back deserves to be president?

    This country is being overrun by the geneticly disadvandaged (ie Teabags) and the just plain aggressively stupid. (ie well…pick one you like there are so many)

  • ChessieNefercat

    "…British march out. No one can explain it. "

    They were escaping Palin?
    (So the chronology is off. Ask Ms. 2nd-Amendment-to-a-not-yet-in-existence-Constitution Palin about that.)

  • Pragmatist2

    The Clampetts would be an upgrade for the Palins.

    • ChessieNefercat

      One hell of an upgrade. The unflinching honesty, compassion, and integrity of Jed and Granny. Ellie Mae and her love for "critters." Jethro actually was none too bright and kind of a schemer, but he had a good heart and was capable of learning.

  • sportshort

    Also, Paul Revere bleached his anus so that we could have free beaches.

    Betcha didn't know that, huh? I read it on Tea-pedia. That's where the fax are.

  • Sheesko

    Mark Twain.

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      And/or Samuel Clemens

  • HistoriCat

    "Just the tip!"

  • http://intensedebate.com/logout Gleem_McShineys

    He who warned uh, the British that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our cakes we like, uh by ringing those a peace cigs, and um, makin’ sure as he’s riding his cedar cheese through town to send those warning musturds and speggti that we were going to be sure and we were going to be white kasuls, and we were going to be hamberger meat.

    Why the fuck not.

    • ChessieNefercat

      "riding his cedar cheese through town"

      (Wiping monitor…)
      Betcha those six common English words have never been strung together in that order in the whole, entire history of the English language!

  • Soylent Green

    can you guys please repost that slackjaw with the american flag, tearing up the backyard in a Quad when Bin Laden got killed? That is so Palin's idea of Paul Revere.

  • petehammer

    A stupid/brilliant line from that song:

    "Don't you see no matter what you do
    You'll never run away from you"

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Oh. My. God.

    • ChessieNefercat

      You said it all.

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      Joe.My.God.

  • problemwithcaring

    Omfg. Through this comment, and of course in a totally indirect way, Palin's ShitTour actually managed to learn me something.

    She is failing upward, like the wingnuts say!

    • HarryButtle

      I had the same epiphany…Sarah's stupid is educational!

  • Steverino247

    And then Paul Reverse (sic) went through Concord and Lexington, a ridin' and a whoopin', beating everything that moved within an inch of their lives, except the women folks, of course. The British took away their Second Amendment rights later on at the George the Sixth Dance!

    • tessiee

      Wait, George the *sixth*?
      Wasn't that…
      Oh, right. I see what you did there.

  • Cat_Damon

    I've always admired Paul Revere for sticking with the Boston Celtics even when times got tough in the mid-2000s.

  • mourningnmerica

    There has been some speculation that Trig is not her child. Trust me, Trig IS her child.

    • ChessieNefercat

      Well, geez, way to dash the little guy's hopes.

    • [redacted]hse

      He certainly has his mother's mental acuity, so there's that.

    • tessiee

      Even Trig has better sense than to pick her for a mother.

  • mourningnmerica

    And if you are just now arriving, I would like take this opportunity to welcome you all to Retard Nation. It's a wonderful place where you can aspire to become leader of the entire country, even if you are a stone cold fucking imbecile.

    • [redacted]hse

      Trig / 2062

  • axmxz

    She's just trying to repeat what the voices in her head are telling her. It's not working very well, because there are too many.

    • ChessieNefercat

      And apparently they are all, without exception, as dumb as she is.

    • [redacted]hse

      Plus it's an echo-chamber.
      The reverb in there would drive a sane person to distraction, but we needn't worry about Sarah.

  • politics_nerd

    This is wonkbot stupid-alert territory, if I've ever seen it.

  • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    She should have never ventured into Boston intellectually unarmed.

    • [redacted]hse

      I noticed she didn't go to Cambridge, where they would chew her up and spit her out.

    • Negropolis

      Zing.

  • http://www.marionstein.net MarionNYNY

    But she really looked like she was just making it up for the lulz. She's way to into the joke at this point. It's like Cindy Sherman running for President or something. It was so much funnier before it became intentional. Sarah has jumped the shark.

  • lochnessmonster

    What the hell was she on? She definitely appeared to be drunk or on drugs or something. Slurred speech, unstable walking…or is just me?

    • ChessieNefercat

      I went back and watched it without the sound (makes my dog cringe and piddle), and I think you're right. I'm no expert, but yeah her eyes, and walk.

      I suppose if I were trapped in her skull with her, I would do drugs also.

      • lochnessmonster

        I thought that right off the bat…Loaded.JanWhat other people think of youIs none of your business.

    • Rotundo_

      Something tells me that when she is at 14:59:99 she will wind up at Betty Ford sharing a room with Lohan. I just can't imagine that shit coming out of someone who is not out of their skull on medication or improvised recreational pharmaceuticals. Then she can go on the grifting for Juh-HEEEEEEEEEEEEE-Zus circuit down south and load up on cash and the medication/recreational pharmaceuticals of her choice. Rinse, Lather, Repeat.

  • JackObin

    "Paul Revere" is Palin family code for anal sex.

    • [redacted]hse

      Family anal sex?
      Sled dogs, too, right?

    • tessiee

      ""Paul Revere" is Palin family code for anal sex. "

      Pronounced "pole the rear".

      • http://intensedebate.com/logout Gleem_McShineys

        I did it like this, I did it like that.
        I did it with the whiffle ball bat.

  • Sheesko

    Oh, but they're Socialists. And also gay, too.

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    didn't someone say in the McCain camp, that she doesn't know anything… nothing's changed…

  • rocktonsam

    TODD PALIN SHOULD BE ARRESTED FOR FUCKING A RETARD, FUCKING RETARD

    • [redacted]hse

      Christ, he's molesting Trig?
      Shameless.

  • AJWjr.
  • Warpde

    Said it before and will say it again.
    Fucking stupid woman.
    The type of girl we use to stand on the corner and throw rocks at.

    • [redacted]hse

      Set her on fire and put it out with pitchforks.

  • tessiee

    I thought we would never get rid of Mann Coulter, either, but I think we don't have to acknowledge his/her existence any more.

    • ChessieNefercat

      "I thought we would never get rid of Mann Coulter, either, but I think we don't have to acknowledge his/her existence any more. "

      Grabs gratefully at the life preserver…

  • LibrulEleet

    One if by land, two if by sea, three if by air.

  • sportshort

    She was edumacated by teechurs who knew she wood be running for Prezmadent 1 day and they were libural and jealous of her enormous body of thoughts and said we will teech her wrongly and she will be to be laughed at by us on that day and we will laugh as well for we are libural. Ha.

  • Walkinwiddaking

    You gotta be shitting me. This is the kind of crap that ejaculates out of her, what passes for a brain, and she still has a following? Damn, America really does have an educational crisis, even on the elementary level. Goodbye America, nice knowin' ya.

    • jqpublick

      Do YOU kiss your kids with that filthy mouth?

  • Jerri

    What we need is a whole nation of Sarah Palins home schoolin their kids. For Jesus!

    Dude, they are waaaaay ahead of you there.

  • [redacted]hse

    Just shoot the bitch and put us out of our misery.

  • Fox n Fiends

    Just listen to how she says "his horse through town".

    100% guaranteed she has Aspergers.

    • [redacted]hse

      She has Aspergers for BREAKFAST.

      • Negropolis

        ROTFLMAO!

        Are you implying that she ownz/pwnz the entire autism spectrum?

    • http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Armus UpFistTroll

      I figured that, by now, we wouldn't be allowed to use such a sensitive word as "Aspergers," but you went and pulled the trigger anyway.

    • tessiee

      "100% guaranteed she has Aspergers"

      ??
      I thought people with Asperger's were supposed to be smart, but socially maladjusted (I don't mean that unkindly).
      I don't think it counts if you're only the latter.

    • Rotundo_

      I don't think so. An Aspie would never have screwed up a historical fact that basic. $arah is just an uneducated, ignorant, opportunistic ass with what I suspect was a major dose of recreational pharmaceuticals or prescription pharmaceuticals clouding up an already painfully dim intellect.

  • [redacted]hse

    She may think the name is Rand Paul Revere.

  • Eve8Apples

    "he was banging on bells and firing shots into the sky like some common Wasilla meth freak with a semi-automatic"

    Actually, that exact image appears on the Alaska state seal.

  • Eve8Apples

    I can't wait 'til the crazy bus reaches the northern Great Plains. The Sioux will scalp the bitch when she gives her take on the Battle of the Little Bighorn.

  • Captain_Klutz

    Oh lord, what a dimwit. Ms Sarah cannot seem to be to put a complete thought together that hasn't been scripted & rehearsed. Don't go away mad little lady–just go away.

  • SonofSpermcube

    Sarah Palin is not vapid. She is not boring. Vacuous, definitely, but not vapid.

    • ChessieNefercat

      Thank you! I see I have been using these as if they were interchangeable and they are in fact different.

      Whereas Pawlenty is both vapid and vacuous, right?

  • ttommyunger

    513 Fucking posts, and counting, for this vapid twat who we already knew was a moron? Jesus, this woman is probably the most polarizing figure in America. Fucking crazy!

    • GeneralLerong

      Well, when you encounter a fool hen, it's hard to resist bonking it with a rock and eating it for dinner. [quaint alaskan spruce grouse lore]

      • ttommyunger

        She is just five years away from being Victoria Jackson, I promise you.

        • ChessieNefercat

          Let's make it (counts on fingers to January 20, 2013) 19 months, and you're right.

          • ttommyunger

            The sooner the better!

    • http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Armus UpFistTroll

      Here's a distraction for you, then: I just saw a friend of a friend comment (on Facebook) that Obama is trying to get us to default on our debts in order to destroy the dollar and turn us all socialist and working for the government. I had no idea that it was Obama, and not a bunch of dipshit teatards and Republicunts, who were threatening not to raise the debt ceiling. Thank goodness that vapid fucking idiot set me straight.

      • ttommyunger

        Flip Wilson's dictum: “A lie is just as good as the truth, if you can get somebody to believe it.”

        • horsedreamer_1

          A lie
          The truth
          Which one should I use?
          If the lie
          succeeds
          Then you'll know what I mean
          When I tell you, 'I have secrets to attend'

          (Way back in '96 — so even before Piper was born, let alone her little "brother" — Greg Dulli knew the truth of Lou & Todd's parental deceits.)

          (Also: "Honky's Ladder" would make a great slogan for Palin 2012.)

          • ttommyunger

            I don't care who da Baby Momma Be, I just want them to stop breeding.

      • tessiee

        "Obama is trying to get us to default on our debts in order to destroy the dollar and turn us all socialist and working for the government"

        This week, I started a new temp assignment in a government office, making the same hourly wage I was making at my permanent government job in 1987. For the last three years, I've been trying to get hired on to a nice, safe, cushy permanent government job with a nice, steady paycheck and perhaps even some actual health benefits. Does this mean I'm a socialist?

      • PuckStopsHere

        I don't have friends like that. I dump their silly asses.

        • AJWjr.

          She's been quite helpful for that. Any "friend" who forwarded me something uplifting about her, I relegated to the spam folder. Anyone local that had a McCain/palin yard sign, window poster or bumper sticker, I deleted their phone# from my list. This is why I'm always on wonkette, all my real friends are dead to me.

    • Eve8Apples

      What irritates the hell out of me is not her stupidity. It's the fact that people in this country consider her a serious contender for the most powerful position in the fuckin' world.

      • ttommyunger

        I haz sadz over this, too.

        • ChessieNefercat

          I will join your sadz group over this.

          • ttommyunger

            Sigh!

          • UW8316154

            Sigh.

          • ttommyunger

            (Cups head in hands, silently weeps)

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      Jaysus Tommy +500 and no 100 comment long trollthreads!

      • ttommyunger

        Speechless, I am.

    • tessiee

      Her particular combination of stupidity, arrogance, and hunger for incessant attention make her such a perfect target for ridicule that it's difficult to stop. It's like watching a train wreck in slow motion.

      • ttommyunger

        But others are absolutely atingle at the sight of her. Ugh!

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ SpurningBeer

    My uncle Billy!!

    • tessiee

      No, your Uncle Billy isn't William Shake Spear, he's William Shakes BEER, which is why you guys have the same last name.

      • UW8316154

        Uncle Billy was a brewer, and his brew was Billy Beer.

      • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ SpurningBeer

        As my niece Britney says, "Oops,I did it again!!"

  • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

    OT Leno's great writing team ( they keep him on the air don't they) came up with Romney/Palin 2012 Sarah can't answer questions and Mitt has two answers for each.

  • owhatever

    Listen to what she meant, not what she said. No, wait. That doesn't work either.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    I really am unable to listen to that idiot–her nasal, buzzsaw-hitting-a-knot whine could curdle milk. If she was making a speech accepting all the Nobel Prizes given for a year she would still sound profoundly stupid.

    That what she actually says is sub-normal blabbering is expected–Palin is one of the most incurious people I have ever encountered–but having to listen to her speak words is a crime against humanity.

  • Negropolis

    “He who warned uh,

    I stopped reading the word salad right there. She's like a busted-ass computer spellchecker.

    I honestly don't get what goes on in her mind when trying to compose a sentence. It seems like she wants to sound intellectual, but she has got to realize that simply changing word order doesn't do that. She sounds like a cracked/methed-out Yoda.

    Then you have the whole factually incorrect thing working against her, too. Not only is the sentence all jumbled, but when unjumbled — when you even can – she's just spouting bullshit lies and errors. Bitch is an utter moving violation.

  • Negropolis

    I'm sensing a new meme coming on….

    "Sarah Palin Has No Idea Who/What _________________"

    I hope we never forget that this was supposed to be the answer to Hillary Clinton, just like Michael Steele was supposed to be the answer to the president. It's like the GOP tried to clone their respective DNA, and botched the fuck out of it, and they came out all deformed on the other end.

    • horsedreamer_1

      All blacks & all women look alike to them, i.e. subhuman, & therefore unworthy of distinct treatment.

    • yyyaz

      I'm going to go with "Sarah Palin Has No Idea Who/What/When/Where/or Why" for $500, Alex.

      • Negropolis

        Surely, that's only a $200 clue.

  • Negropolis

    You just won all of the internet-marbles.

  • Negropolis

    This isn't a bit deal, guys. She obviously got Paul Revere mixed up with Ron Paul Revered.

    You guys ain't seen nothin' yet. Wait until she becomes self-aware, then shit'll get real!

  • freddymcmurray

    Thomas Pa(l)in(e): No Common Sense.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Lou Sarah: Nuisance.

  • 102415

    I heard it's over and she and the kid fly back to Alaska tomorrow. I hope she didn't promise little Twig that they were going to Disney World on that bus.

  • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    "I may be broke but I'm not flat busted" = 80's understanding of Paul Revere.

  • horsedreamer_1

    The most disappointing aspect of this video is the anchor not having a Boston accent. (I know, I know — it's common for all affiliates to hire staff possessing, or training new hires to speak with, a Generalized Plains Affect (I knew a South Dakotan at university who was rather proud of her state's contribution to the newsmedia, in this regard), but, come on — OWAH ACZENT IS BETTAH'N YORN ACZENT.)

    & no, I wasn't disappointed by Lou Sarah, at all. I expected as much from her answer.

  • UW8316154

    Aha! Here is it…Sarah Palin's Convocation at the College of the Ozarks… Good times, good times.
    http://wonkette.com/411714/sarah-palin-convocatio

    October 20th, 2009 – has it really been that long? We've been making fun of her for YEARS and she hasn't gone away yet??

    • ChessieNefercat

      She's like the Energizer Bunny™ of mean and stupid.

  • ganmerlad

    As the older wonkers know, Paul Revere used to make pots and pans which he called "Revereware". Some say the pot-ware was made out of old bullets, but the way Sarah tells it, more likely the British took over the factory and used his pot metal to make new bullets. Between pot bullets and Revere yelling to the British that they couldn't take our guns, they won the war and that is why America is still an English colony.

  • tessiee

    Technically, she's molesting both American history AND the English language.

  • tessiee

    "What's a battle?"

  • Neoyorquino

    Y'all just jealous. Sarah attended five different colleges, so that clearly makes her five times smarter than everyone else.

  • lulzmonger

    "The Palin Serial Aneurysm Theorem" is also looking pretty good right now.

  • tessiee

    "This gentleman is more endow'd by the Creator in his privy parts."

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      "Pray beg your pardon for errors of the quill in my previous miffive. I meant to set down 'croff-hatching.'"

  • lulzmonger

    One if by popular vote, two if by Supreme Court fiat!

  • rocktonsam

    betcha her favorite patriot is Tom Brady.
    no really..

  • tessiee

    I support community colleges AND being a slutbunny.

    The fact that the convergence of same in Lou Sarah hasn't saved her from being thoroughly unacceptable is her fault and hers alone.

  • UW8316154

    645 comments and 40,429 views. Ken, is this some sort of record?

  • comrad_darkness

    WSF – Word Salad Fail.

  • OKthennext

    "One if by land, two if by seamonkey"

  • jqpublick

    Regardless, of what school of cosmotology she attended I would bet that she's better looking than the women in your life.

  • Jerry_Barry

    I hope Palin and Bachmann both run for President. Not that I want them to win which will never happen, but the comedy from the debates would be Priceless! LOL.

    It would be the best comedy ever! So God, if you are listen, let Palin and Bachmann run and be in debates with others! LOL.

    I don't know if I could watch these two dunces because I'd being laughing so hard, my stomach would hurt!

  • Clungeflaps

    I love palin, I don't see why people get so wound up by her. She's possibly the campest woman in existence.

    I used to love old john waters movies but now I find them terribly droll since the rise of palin and her gravy-gutted minions.

    • SaintRond

      Palin as gay icon. That'd fix her.

    • Negropolis

      Why couldn't she have been content with simply being a talk show queen? The problem is that she's promoting herself as a serious politician and people are falling for the shit.

    • tessiee

      "I used to love old john waters movies"

      "I've been ironing for two hours now, AND MY DIET PILL IS WEARING OFF."

  • Sassomatic

    Hey has she twatted her response yet. I know I'm just feeding the beast but I'm kind of looking forward to that.

  • Sassomatic

    Also, I hope John McCain is proud of himself for unleashing this plague upon the land.

  • Patinny

    Oh, I hope this bus ride thing is all just a publicity stunt for her. Leaders of other countries think she's cute but that's where their admiration stops. Who will be her choice of VP, Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian?

  • hmi

    So much smugness in such little space:
    "This account in "Paul Revere's Ride" by David Hackett Fischer (Oxford University Press 1994), may be of interest to Think Progress and all the others laughing because they purport to be so much better informed than Palin:
    "A townsman remembered that 'repeated gunshots, the beating of drums and the ringing of bells filled the air.'…. Along the North Shore of Massachusetts, church bells began to toll and the heavy beat of drums could be heard for many miles in the night air."
    It's available on Google Books." http://legalinsurrection.blogspot.com/2011/06/so-

  • AJWjr.
    • Sassomatic

      All this woman knows about American History she got off a placemat at Shoney's.

  • DocKimble

    I'm lovin' Gov Palin's "Reverse Potemkin Tour".
    Didya get THAT historical reference?
    Gov. Palin's MAKING history, the LSM media just doesn't know what's goin' on.

    LET 'ER RIP, SARAH !!! TRIG PALIN for FIRST KID!!!

  • hmi

    So much smugness in such little space: http://legalinsurrection.blogspot.com/2011/06/so-

  • kvona

    As an Australian it is interesting to see so many people who I assume to be American attacking Palin for her lack of historical knowledge, whilst being so obviously ignorant themselves.
    Here is the relevant passage from Revere's own memoir.

    “I observed a Wood at a Small distance, & made for that. When I got there, out Started Six officers, on Horse back,and orderd me to dismount;-one of them, who appeared to have the command, examined me, where I came from,& what my Name Was? I told him. it was Revere, he asked if it was Paul? I told him yes He asked me if I was an express? I answered in the afirmative. He demanded what time I left Boston? I told him; and aded, that their troops had catched aground in passing the River, and that There would be five hundred Americans there in a short time, for I had alarmed the Country all the way up. He imediately rode towards those who stoppd us, when all five of them came down upon a full gallop; one of them, whom I afterwards found to be Major Mitchel, of the 5th Regiment, Clapped his pistol to my head, called me by name, & told me he was going to ask me some questions, & if I did not give him true answers, he would blow my brains out. He then asked me similar questions to those above. He then orderd me to mount my Horse, after searching me for arms. . .”
    http://www.masshist.org/database/img-viewer.php?i

    You do yourselves a disservice in reveling in someones supposed stupidity whist displaying it yourselves.

  • kvona

    As an Australian it is interesting to see so many people who I assume to be American attacking Palin for her lack of historical knowledge, whilst being so obviously ignorant themselves.

    Here is the relevant text from Revere's memoirs.

    “I observed a Wood at a Small distance, & made for that. When I got there, out Started Six officers, on Horse back,and orderd me to dismount;-one of them, who appeared to have the command, examined me, where I came from,& what my Name Was? I told him. it was Revere, he asked if it was Paul? I told him yes He asked me if I was an express? I answered in the afirmative. He demanded what time I left Boston? I told him; and aded, that their troops had catched aground in passing the River, and that There would be five hundred Americans there in a short time, for I had alarmed the Country all the way up. He imediately rode towards those who stoppd us, when all five of them came down upon a full gallop; one of them, whom I afterwards found to be Major Mitchel, of the 5th Regiment, Clapped his pistol to my head, called me by name, & told me he was going to ask me some questions, & if I did not give him true answers, he would blow my brains out. He then asked me similar questions to those above. He then orderd me to mount my Horse, after searching me for arms. . .”
    http://www.masshist.org/database/img-viewer.php?i

    You do yourselves a disservice in mocking Palin for her supposed ignorance of American history, whilst displaying your own.

  • SaintRond

    That cunt.

    • AJWjr.

      Succinct.

      • SaintRond

        I learned to appreciate brevity from Hemingway. That's why I write the same two words every time I see her name.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    Another gotcha question:

    What is the difference between a "Christian nation" and the imposition of Sharia law?

    • tessiee

      The former is freedom of religion and the latter is heathens forcing their beliefs down our throats.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    This may have been posted but for those who haven't seen it–

    Palin fans try to Wikipedia to reflect her idiotic mumbling.

  • AJWjr.
  • mosjef

    Later that fateful night, Paul Revere and the Raiders appeared on the Ed Sullivan Show singing "Bits and Pieces".

  • Doktor Zoom

    Sarah Palin always makes me think of the Echo Sonata for Two Unfriendly Groups of Instruments

    • AJWjr.

      If you remember that from the olden times, then hail to thee, fellow olde.

  • tessiee

    Soon it will be made into a movie starring Matt Damon.

  • AFKensington

    No one remembers the Paul Revere that had a vagina. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sybil_Ludington

  • 13Igor

    If only stupidity was painful.
    She'd be calling Rush looking for a good (wink, wink) 24 hour pharmacy.

  • klem53

    The facts are you lefties are the one that need to go back to school. You guys aren't up on the latest deveopment because your leftest media doesn't want to address the issues that they are then ones that are historically incorrect and do not know the factual story of Paul Revere's ride.

    From the Boston Herold. Sarah Palin yesterday insisted her claim at the Old North Church last week that Paul Revere “warned the British” during his famed 1775 ride — remarks that Democrats and the media roundly ridiculed — is actually historically accurate. And local historians are backing her up.

    I love reading these lefy comments. You make me proud to be a conservative. You only repeat what you hear and you don't know what you are talking or commenting about. You either don't care or are too lazy to research the facts before you make your idiotic statements. You never make substantial comments, probably because you are incapable of an original thought of your own and are to lazy to find out the facts. You guys are too funny. Keep up your good work. I love you for it. lololololo

  • Penfieldsleuth

    OK Kiddies, Take a deep breath, relax and then go look up Paul Revere's own report of his adventure that night. Revere himself states that when he was detained by British soldiers that he advised them he had been warning the local towns and that they were going to face a large force of colonists. He knew that they would not be able to get the weapons in Concord because they had been moved a few days before after one of his previous rides. to alert the countryside.
    When Longfellow wrote the poem he changes the details to fit his poetic aims and these distortions, although exciting, do not match the "facts"

  • classicfilm

    Wonkette Jr, you're a hilarious, ignorant clown. Not only did Palin get all the points correct (as has been proven elsewhere, like DAYS ago, with historical links and everything, you silly fool), but you obviously haven't read a history book lately. Tsk, tsk – here's a towel to wipe the egg off your face.

  • http://www.hired-mind.com/ HiredMind

    Direct quote from Wikipedia: "On April 14, 1775, General Gage received instructions from Secretary of State William Legge, Earl of Dartmouth, to disarm the rebels, who were known to have hidden weapons in Concord,"

  • FlameCCT

    Poor Wonkette and sycophants! Your reporting seems to be long on conjecture and short on facts.

    First, Paul Revere did warn the British as documented in his own writings. Not to mention that almost all participants at the beginning of the Revolutionary War were all citizens of the British Empire.

    Second, the lantern signal was given to Paul Revere to start his ride of warning. The towns used their church bells to gather and notify the people that the British soldiers were coming.

    Finally, Palin accurately described the British intent to disarm the colonists and seize their stores of weapons. the supposed writer of this article then changes those comments into a straw man argument about the 2nd Amendment. The intent of the British government to remove their weapons at the start of the war was part of the motivation for including the 2nd amendment.

    Perhaps y'all should read and learn about our American history instead of relying on progressive male bovine excrement.

  • FlameCCT

    You really shouldn't talk about "Wonkette Jr's" lack of education about American history. Although maybe y'all prefer to be lemmings going over the cliff.

    Palin accurately, although perhaps not elegantly, described the events of Paul Revere's "ride" including his warning to the British soldiers as written by Paul Revere himself.

  • philipjames

    Yes, the Ku Klux Klan was established by the Democratic Party. Yes, the Ku Klux Klan murdered thousands of Republicans — African-American and white – in the years following the Civil War. Yes, the Republican Party and a Republican President, Ulysses Grant, destroyed the KKK with their Ku Klux Klan Act of 1871.

    How did the Ku Klux Klan re-emerge in the 20th century? For that, the Democratic Party is to blame.

    It was a racist Democrat President, Woodrow Wilson, who premiered Birth of a Nation in the White House. That racist movie was based on a racist book written by one of Wilson’s racist friends from college. In 1915, the movie spawned the modern-day Klan, with its burning crosses and white sheets.

    Inspired by the movie, some Georgia Democrats revived the Klan. Soon, the Ku Klux Klan again became a powerful force within the Democratic Party. The KKK so dominated the 1924 Democratic Convention that Republicans, speaking truth to power, called it the Klanbake. In the 1930s, a Democrat President, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, appointed a Klansman, Senator Hugo Black (D-AL), to the U.S. Supreme Court. In the 1950s, the Klansmen against whom the civil rights movement struggled were Democrats. The notorious police commissioner Bull Connor, who attacked African-Americans with dogs and clubs and fire hoses, was both a Klansman and the Democratic Party’s National Committeeman for Alabama. Starting in the 1980s, the Democratic Party elevated a recruiter for the Ku Klux Klan, Senator Robert Byrd (D-WV), to third-in-line for the presidency.

    Speaking more Truth to Power, the Republican Party has been a resolute enemy of the Ku Klux Klan, terrorist wing of the Democratic Party.

    • carlgt1

      err, how laughably silly and ahistoric in the Palin tradition. You totally ignore history since at least 1948 (the "Dixiecrat" shift to the Repugs), and the 60's & 70's southern strategy, not to mention the Klansmen David Duke as a Repub.

      I would say, finally, that "we are all Paul Revere now" — because Palin & the RepugliKKKans are so out of teach with history & reality, and don't really care to know the truth about us (as people)….

  • jasmith4

    Sex sells. Scary sells. Stupid sells. Sarcasm sells. And side-taking sells.. And Sarah Palin is all five!

    By #5 I mean, if someone comes out against the statement that 2+2=4, the media will get a math teacher and the idiot and give them equal time in prime time — it sells!

  • DangerHelvetica

    Man, if Paul Revere arrived as late as these conservative commenters, we'd all still be British citizens.

    (My first go-to joke was to say we'd all be speaking English, but I get the sense that would drift lazily over the heads of some people.)

  • Selfish_T

    If Bachmann were Prez, she would always "confer with the commanders in chief" on military decisions. I guess that means the other Bachmanns in her mind.

  • jaralad61

    I have never been happier to read comments like the ones on this blog . and loads of laughs from the great comments made about this apology for intellect , if Palin's mother had known she was going to turn out as stupid as she has , she would have traded her in for a pet monkey . I go the U S A numerous times a yr . I am British and my very best friends are all American , fantastic people , and today i was on the phone to them and we giggled our asses off . Sarah here is your maths question for the day me little dodo brain.
    If it take a man 2 weeks to walk 3 weeks then how many apples in a barrel of plums . humor is a wonderful thing , keep it up people .

  • Magic Juan

    Man how did McCain talk to her for more that 10 minutes and not know she was so dumb….oh yea it was John McCain….never mind.

  • nounverb911

    Nathan Hale? He sponsors the annual July 4th weiner eating contest on Coney island.

  • SexySmurf

    I wonder who she thinks Nathan Hale is?

    He played the Skipper on Gilligan's Island.

  • Captain_Quark

    Room temperature measured in Celsius, to be precise.

  • riverside68

    The Revolutionary founder of Hale and Hearty Soups?

  • Sue4466

    Giving them too much credit. Room temps are in the 60s.

  • MinAgain

    I wonder who she thinks Nathan Hale is?

    Confederate war hero and founder of the Ku Klux Klan, no doubt. In which case, you might say that Palin can't see the Forrest for the trees.

    Ba-dump-bump. I'll be here all week.

  • GOPCrusher

    Does Bible Spice know that there is American History before Ronnie Raygun was made President?

  • kissawookiee

    The guy in The Birdcage with the fabulous dinnerware?

  • tessiee

    "I wonder who she thinks Nathan Hale is?"

    That guy who was in that show on Broadway.

  • arihaya

    measure with Celcius temperature, that will be more accurate (i.e lower)

  • UW8316154

    You sillies! It the name of a high school in north Seattle. Duh.

  • Barb

    And Bob Denver founded Colorado.

  • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Nah–he was in The Birdcage.

  • Sue4466

    Thought it was John? Rocky Mountain High!

  • user-of-owls

    And Tina Louise founded Louisville.

  • thedeathofirony

    And Tina Louise founded Louisville Farmville.

  • neiltheblaze

    How's the veal?

  • MinAgain

    You should try it. And remember to tip your waitress.

  • neiltheblaze

    But won't she need help getting up?

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Oh, that Nathan Hale. The inventor of the tubesteak.

    A great American, from Frankfurter, Germany.

  • NewtsChicknNeck

    the one about the homozexckuals?? Sarah has never sat through such filth. It's all good clean family fun whale blubber, meth-makin', snow mobile racing, shooting things from helicopters. but two men settling down together? that shit is gross.
    http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-28710335