WINGNUTS ARE FURIOUS ABOUT ...  10:05 am June 3, 2011

Arkansas Kids Name Bush & Cheney Worst People Ever, In School Yearbook

by Wonkette Jr.

Whoops! Miss me yet?School kids in the tiny Arkansas town of Russellville actually managed to learn something during their years of below-par public education. They learned, for example, that Dick Cheney and George W. Bush are two of history’s worst people. This is something a lot of adults haven’t even learned yet, in America. (It’s well known in all the smart countries around the world.) So the kids decided to list the worst five people in their school yearbook, so when they sit in the smoking ruins of America a decade or two from now, they can remember. But the Arkansas grownups are mighty upset! How dare these smarty jones kids list Bush and Cheney alongside these other people, whoever they are!

A local Fox News television news station reports:

Open up the Russellville Middle School yearbook. You’ll see the students’ pictures, the administration, and a pretty controversial list that’s supposed to be covered with a piece of black tape …. The list is titled “Top 5 worst people of all time.” The top three, in order, are Adolph Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and Charles Manson. Numbers four and five are George W. Bush and Dick Cheney. Superintendent Randall Williams calls the list “an oversight.”

(Ha ha, the Fox News local channel can’t spell “Adolf.” Also, isn’t the black tape saved to cover up Obama’s name?)

An oversight? Does he mean because the kids included some minor hippie cult leader responsible for a handful of deaths in the league with monsters who all killed at least thousands and thousands of innocent people? Perhaps that is an oversight. Perhaps they should have skipped Manson and included someone with a body count approaching Cheney’s. But these are just kids! It’s not like they accidentally included Nelson Mandela!

Enjoy the video report:

[Parentdish]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 207 comments }

Chillwaver June 3, 2011 at 10:11 am

Thank you for this uplifting piece, Ken (no snark here). Unfortunately, wingtards are now going to say that these kids were "brainwashed by their librul teachers."

Texan_Bulldog June 3, 2011 at 10:36 am

Ha ha…like there are any liberals in AR.

Chillwaver June 3, 2011 at 10:43 am

Except for that famous guy who got a BJ in the WH, of course.

Texan_Bulldog June 3, 2011 at 10:44 am

Yeah, but notice he hasn't moved back, has he?

OneDollarJuana June 3, 2011 at 11:41 am

I've known several Arkies. Not one has ever reminisced about moving back. Or even visiting.

BerkeleyBear June 3, 2011 at 11:25 am

He was a Dem but hardly a liberal. Free trade, deregulation, the anointing of Alan Greenspan as leader of the financial universe, DOMA, DADT, welfare to work. Hell, he's more of a liberal out of office than while he had the job.

HistoriCat June 3, 2011 at 12:02 pm

You know else was more of a liberal out of office?

Doktor Zoom June 3, 2011 at 10:44 am

Outside agitators!

jus_wonderin June 3, 2011 at 10:54 am

Concrete Alligators!

Boehneriffic June 3, 2011 at 10:58 am

^^^ Win!!!

Lascauxcaveman June 3, 2011 at 11:25 am

I blame the internets. Those kids shouldn't playing with them internets all day long.

They should be out playing baseball, football or war games, like when I was a kid. You can bet not one single Viet Cong was left living in my neighborhood when I was kid. No pirates, either.

Doktor Zoom June 3, 2011 at 11:41 am

Oddly enough, when I played war in my neighborhood, even though the Vietnam war was actually going on, it was almost always the Nazis we were fighting. I personally killed Hitler several times, though a few times we also captured him so he could be tortured.

Do kids even play outside anymore?

DaRooster June 3, 2011 at 11:49 am

The ones with 3 arms and one eye…

PhilippePetain June 3, 2011 at 11:53 am

Yeah, it was either the Nazis or, strangely enough, Qaddafi for us. I remember Airwolf and a couple of other shows had Qaddafi episodes, which explains that. I definitely had a friend who would constantly want to be "tunnel rats" so I guess maybe we offed some VC.

It's got to be weird to see your kids pretend to kill the enemies of the nation.

Chet Kincaid June 3, 2011 at 2:28 pm

Yeah, when I was a grade-schooler, I always thought of WWII as America's most recent war, even while Viet Nam was on the network news every single night. Combat!! Rat Patrol! The Great Escape!! Sgt. Fury & His Howling Commandos!! Hogan's Heroic Collection Of Cutting Edge Video Taped Porn!!

Doktor Zoom June 3, 2011 at 5:10 pm

I could never figure out exactly how Nick Fury made the transition from Howling Commando to Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. When the comic featured the entire squad (7, 8 guys?) escaping from a German airfield in a stolen ME-262, (which was a single-seat fighter, or a 2-seat night-fighter), I began to suspect that they weren't really presenting the most accurate depiction of WW II.

Nixon_So_Fine June 3, 2011 at 11:57 pm

Do kids even play outside anymore?

Upfisted, qualified: That's gotta be the saddest thing in any comments I've read all week on all of these here internets.

Thanks for being a total bummer, Dok. O! teh sads is here.

UW8316154 June 4, 2011 at 12:07 pm

Cowboys and Indians for me. With real cap guns and seriously real bows-and-arrows in the woods north of Lake Washington. We'd leave in the morning and not see a "grown-up" again until late afternoon, when we finally straggled home.

tessiee June 4, 2011 at 9:51 pm

Yeah, what's the deal with that?
We would go home for a glass of water, or to go to the bathroom, or whatever, but in general, "you know what time dinner is".
Has there been some huge crime wave that I'm not aware of, that kids aren't allowed to go outside?

flamingpdog June 4, 2011 at 11:43 pm

When we played war in the neighborhood, it was usually the Civil War. It was a little bit ahead of Viet Nam. Everybody wanted to be the North because the North won. Or so we thought at the time. Not so sure anymore.

ArmoredBore June 3, 2011 at 12:36 pm

Are you saying they don't already? That's what the background noise sounds like to me, anyway.

JoshuaNorton June 3, 2011 at 10:11 am

I had no plans for the weekend, but now with the amount of laughing I'll be doing at this, I find myself overbooked.

Barb June 3, 2011 at 10:11 am

This story is AMAZING! I am completely shocked that some kid in Arkansas made it to Middle School.

ManchuCandidate June 3, 2011 at 10:14 am

Hey now… That's why the adults are giving him a hard time because grade 3 was good enough for them.

Barb June 3, 2011 at 10:22 am

Grade 3 the "senior year" of most of the parents.

Negropolis June 3, 2011 at 10:29 pm

Grade 3? What are you, some haughty Canadian?

SorosBot June 3, 2011 at 10:24 am

And they apparently learned to read and write, too; shocking.

DaRooster June 3, 2011 at 10:28 am

Yeah, but they didn't learn how to use tape properly…

Barb June 3, 2011 at 10:34 am

"adhesive side down!" Way to go, Bubba! This is good information to have once you start your menses, trust me on this one.

justkillmenow June 3, 2011 at 10:44 am

Ouch.

DaRooster June 3, 2011 at 11:50 am

The kids seem like they're gettin' it… but MENSA… oh… that!

Chet Kincaid June 3, 2011 at 2:32 pm

When was Menses Pharaoh?

BruceSugar June 3, 2011 at 10:25 am

as a grade school graduate, i find your comment offensive.

Not_So_Much June 3, 2011 at 12:34 pm

Unfortunately, my 'Participation Certificate' doesn't imbue me with the knowledge of what "offensive" means…

user-of-owls June 3, 2011 at 10:51 am

Go ahead, make all the bumpkin jokes you want.

Oh, and do give me a ring when some kids in your "smarty jones" state have the knowledge and balls to name those two…publicly…as history's greatest monsters.

I'll wait.

occams8ball June 3, 2011 at 10:12 am

okay, no tv for a week!

WhatTheHolyHeck June 3, 2011 at 2:28 pm

For every week they aren't allowed to watch Fox News with Uncle Blob, they'll get smarter, which will earn them another week without Fox News, which will make them smarter, which will…

OMG Discovrd cure 4 ignurnce! BRB #IHaveaCunningPlan

Swampgas_Man June 3, 2011 at 8:43 pm

And no Daily Show FOREVER.

Come here a minute June 3, 2011 at 10:12 am

I seem to remember Bill O'Reilly and Rush Limbaugh being on the list about every night.

ManchuCandidate June 3, 2011 at 10:12 am

Kids rate the darndest things.*

*seriously, Dick "Dick" Cheney should be 4 and W, the meat puppet, should be 15.

DaRooster June 3, 2011 at 10:29 am

15? Just AFTER Nelson Mandela?

PsycWench June 3, 2011 at 10:33 am

Where is Karl Rove?

ManchuCandidate June 3, 2011 at 10:37 am

Probably behind "Dick" and just ahead of Roger Ailes.

Gleem_McShineys June 3, 2011 at 4:02 pm

Human Centipede Zero – The Beginnings

JustPixelz June 3, 2011 at 11:59 am

I dont let Dubya escape responsibility by making Cheney a puppeteer.

George W Bush took the oath of office and failed. He failed on 9/11 to keep America safe. He failed to balance the budget after his faith-based tax-cut stimulus didn't work. He sent soldiers to lose their lives and limbs in Iraq to resolve his Oedipal issues. He shredded the Constitution. He tortured prisoners, inviting reprisals on our soldiers and citizens.

He left America far, far worse than he got it. George W Bush did that.

starfanglednut June 3, 2011 at 10:12 am

Our children is learning.

Chet Kincaid June 3, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Goddamn you, I NEEDED that +92! That's what I get for actually working today.

starfanglednut June 4, 2011 at 7:13 pm

Well, as you can see, my p needs it.

Dashboard_Jesus June 5, 2011 at 1:41 am

well at 132 upfists (and counting) this should give yer p-ness a nice 'boost' if ya know what I mean ;)

OkieDokieDog June 3, 2011 at 10:14 am

None of this will matter when the nuclear reactor at Russellville melts down.

DaRooster June 3, 2011 at 10:38 am

However, these kids may be smart enough to leave the area…

MLite June 3, 2011 at 10:14 am

Don't worry, the new text books approved in Texas and shipped to the other states will learn 'em right. They'll soon know that Obama is the Antichrist and that our country was founded by Jesus, who handed down the Constitution from Mt. Sinai before rapturing off to Wasilla and birthing Sarah Palin.

Ducksworthy June 3, 2011 at 10:24 am

So you're saying Mormons wrote this history text?

DaRooster June 3, 2011 at 10:39 am

So you're saying Mormons wrote this history text?

SilverTsunami June 3, 2011 at 2:21 pm

It's "larn'em." Geez, didn't you larn to spell?

Maman June 3, 2011 at 10:14 am

Its that librul edumacation that they git there in Arkansas…. that's what I blame..

OC_Surf_Serf June 3, 2011 at 10:15 am

'Oversight' in Arkansas is merely 20/20 vision on the Left coast…

mookwrthwilson June 3, 2011 at 10:15 am

Tape??? Isn't a Sharpie quicker and more permanent???

AJWjr. June 3, 2011 at 10:21 am

[redacted]

Terry June 3, 2011 at 10:33 am

The kids might sniff it and get starting on a life of drug use. The concern is that they'll start using the meth Mom and Dad cook up and cut into the family's profits.

BerkeleyBear June 3, 2011 at 11:32 am

Haven't you heard – no need to cook anything, just crush and filter your oxy. Time saver!

Trollina Dumbass June 3, 2011 at 10:15 am

I blame those urban youth and student thugs.

petehammer June 3, 2011 at 11:22 am

Two drudge sirens to you, good sir.

GOPCrusher June 3, 2011 at 1:16 pm

No blacks on the Worst 5 People In The World list? Coincidence?

Monsieur_Grumpe June 3, 2011 at 10:16 am

I have found hope for the future of our country.
Oops lost it.

DaRooster June 3, 2011 at 10:41 am

Shouldn't have buttered it…

tessiee June 4, 2011 at 10:00 pm

MMMmmm…
Buttered hope.

flamingpdog June 5, 2011 at 12:03 am

Look under the couch – that's where I found Jesus.

Dashboard_Jesus June 5, 2011 at 1:44 am

hey, I was just helpin' Bush look for the WMD okay?!

BlueMonkeh June 3, 2011 at 10:16 am

I almost felt a glimmer (starburst?) of hope for our future.

Nah…just a bunch of yearbook nerds with their fancy pants writing and reading and what not. Now they'll probably get the real SCHOOLIN.

AJWjr. June 3, 2011 at 10:23 am

Just wait until your father gets home (from prison)!

freakishlywrong June 3, 2011 at 10:27 am

Or war.

DaRooster June 3, 2011 at 10:42 am

Or drivin' 'round in circles, shootin' his gun on his 4 wheeler in the field.

weejee June 3, 2011 at 10:18 am

The teacher doing the proofreading was scanning for kids flipping the bird in the photogs and forgot they can also have fun with words.

Ken can you sign the kid who slipped that bit into the yearbook?

BruceSugar June 3, 2011 at 10:26 am

because the teacher couldnt read?

Terry June 3, 2011 at 10:34 am

Or the yearbook advisor is the one registered Democrat in the whole county.

HistoriCat June 3, 2011 at 10:39 am

I'm assuming those kids are already posting on Wonkette.

OK – who here is only pretending to be an adult?

DaRooster June 3, 2011 at 10:43 am

HEY, who you callin' kid?

Texan_Bulldog June 3, 2011 at 11:01 am

All of them, Katie.

starfanglednut June 3, 2011 at 11:43 am

*raises hand

tessiee June 4, 2011 at 10:03 pm

"who here is only pretending to be an adult?"

I am, but I've been doing so for decades, so it's probably not me.

Swampgas_Man June 3, 2011 at 8:45 pm

That explains Wonkette Junior.

nounverb911 June 3, 2011 at 10:19 am

Smart kids.

AJWjr. June 3, 2011 at 10:20 am

All we had was black tape when I was a kid, and we liked it!

Barb June 3, 2011 at 10:26 am

Oh, and I bet when your TV knob snapped off you had vice grip pliers to change the channel. Elitist!

Terry June 3, 2011 at 10:31 am

In the old days, you had kids so that they could change the channel for you.

Texan_Bulldog June 3, 2011 at 10:37 am

Or go up on the roof and move the antenna around until people hollered inside "That's good!! Don't move it!"

Barb June 3, 2011 at 10:39 am

That's not a daring stunt when you live in a mobile home. The worst thing that could happen if you fell would be that you dent your snuff can.

Angry_Marmot June 3, 2011 at 11:36 pm

You had more than one channel?

DaRooster June 3, 2011 at 10:37 am

But Pa welded on an 8 foot pole… so he didn't have to get up… Yippee… remote!

freakishlywrong June 3, 2011 at 10:20 am

Que blaming the radical left, socialized, union, elitist, bon-bon wolfing, champagne swilling public teachers. See, this is why you home skewl; kids learn shit.

ChurchofRealism June 3, 2011 at 11:45 am

The enemies of Amurika is anything I don't understand or can't spell, so everything.

KeepFnThatChicken June 3, 2011 at 10:22 am

"Adolph."

Spelling isn't necessary. Just spell any word how you goddamn please.

"Uenc asdhf oihw oefowe fapos dpw afh hftag egt tmfitkuiud oiua wheofh." And you can quote me on that.

kissawookiee June 3, 2011 at 10:27 am

"Uenc asdhf oihw oefowe fapAMOS…"

/corrected for proper conjugation

Texan_Bulldog June 3, 2011 at 10:40 am

They were thinking of Adolph Coors…state beer of AR or runner up behind Pabst.

MinAgain June 3, 2011 at 10:42 am

Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

KeepFnThatChicken June 3, 2011 at 10:45 am

Npew mkl, znede. Don't judge me.

HobbesEvilTwin June 3, 2011 at 10:52 am

Ha, the kids got it right and all the Fox News [sic] transcriber had to do was copy it down and he still fucked up.

KeepFnThatChicken June 3, 2011 at 11:02 am

Downfister gave you a zero.

DOWNFISTER CAN'T READ, ELSE HE WOULD NOTICE THAT A FOX EMPLOYEE CAN'T FUCKING SPELL.

Reminds me of MONEY GOOD! NAPSTER BAD!

OneDollarJuana June 3, 2011 at 11:12 am

Speling is for libruls.

ifthethunderdontgetya June 3, 2011 at 10:23 am

This is something a lot of adults haven’t even learned yet, in America.

Yeah, we're talking about you, Fred Hiatt. You effin' dope.

P.S. Central to the point on my head.
~

PabaBritannica June 3, 2011 at 10:23 am

We have the collective national memory of walnuts (WALNUTS!) here…that school will be named George W. Bush Middle School for Gifted and Talented Leaders in 20 years.

FNMA June 3, 2011 at 10:27 am

More like The George W. Bush Special Edumacation Center and Snack Bar.

GeneralLerong June 3, 2011 at 11:18 am

Trig will be the superintendent of schools.

SorosBot June 3, 2011 at 10:23 am

And this is Arkansas, of all places; it just makes you wish that the Teabagging generation would hurry up and die already and let the kids take over.

BruceSugar June 3, 2011 at 10:23 am

smartest people in arkansas.

Lascauxcaveman June 3, 2011 at 11:52 am

Woo, *there's* a big hurdle.

donner_froh June 3, 2011 at 10:25 am

Arkansas finally gets back into the "viewing with alarm" lists. Not much happening of note down there since the Clintons stopped killing all their political foes.

John Birf Society June 3, 2011 at 10:25 am

Mom, why is Michelle Malkin looking in our windows?

CapeClod June 3, 2011 at 10:25 am

I guess these kids figured it out when four of their classmates disappeared when the Vice President honored them with a visit. As for Bush, even the dullest 14 year old would have pegged him as a complete too.

ManchuCandidate June 3, 2011 at 10:27 am

They'll be invited to go on a hunting trip and given the "GOPer lawyer" treatment.

Arken June 3, 2011 at 10:27 am

How dare they! Allowing the students to vote on something? That's un-American!

Mumbletypeg June 3, 2011 at 10:28 am

I'm just impressed students still make paper-printed, book-bound yearbooks these days.

jus_wonderin June 3, 2011 at 11:04 am

Hmmmm. I need to program an app for that.

ablington June 3, 2011 at 10:29 am

Charles Manson?

Doktor Zoom June 3, 2011 at 11:21 pm

Marilyn's dad.

EatsBabyDingos June 3, 2011 at 10:29 am

Ahhh, Arkansas. Just saying the name makes me want to pick the corn out of my poop.

RoboGuppy June 3, 2011 at 10:31 am

How DARE these people put our President and VP on a list of people who sent others off to die in pointless, stupid wars and…. oh wait… hmmm.

donner_froh June 3, 2011 at 10:31 am

Just watched the clip. While I imagine it is typical for local news, the combination of the voice of doom with rhetorical outrage by the anchors combined with the portentous bumper music makes it sound like World War III was just declared.

What do these people do when something important happens–ritual disembowelment?

PsycWench June 3, 2011 at 10:38 am

Well, that one parent was real unhappy that the tape could be peeled off. You'd think it was Free Speech brand tape.

Ken Layne June 3, 2011 at 10:57 am

"What do these people do when something important happens–ritual disembowelment?"

They cut to the network feed, of course!

Oblios_Cap June 3, 2011 at 10:31 am

The parents are outraged! They sent those kids to school to get great test scores, not learn critical thinking.

They'll never be able to put food on their families if they're thinking all the time.

DaRooster June 3, 2011 at 10:32 am

The top 3 were doing things they actually believed in… although, I suppose some could say they "believe" in money.

Chillwaver June 3, 2011 at 10:32 am

And that's exactly why they will continue to try to revise History books, push Creationism, etc.

Chillwaver June 3, 2011 at 10:36 am

This is nothing the Texas Board of Education can't fix…

easybaked June 3, 2011 at 10:36 am

"Gee, honey. It says here in the paper that school kids in Arkansas have come to the same realization that the smart people on the left have been trying to get us to notice for years: George Bush and Dick Cheney are among the worst people in the entire world."

"Shudup an' git me a 'sammich, woman. And another beer. And keep yer damned trap shut when I'm watchin' the Kardashian sisters on the teevee!"

jus_wonderin June 3, 2011 at 11:07 am

This makes me want to send a shipping container of cast iron skillets to Arkansas.

MinAgain June 3, 2011 at 10:36 am

Who does Joe Stalin have to kill to get some respect around here?

Texan_Bulldog June 3, 2011 at 10:47 am

or Pol Pot or Idi Amin? Guess the poor AR kids haven't got to the chapter "Bad People Who are not White".

Lascauxcaveman June 3, 2011 at 12:03 pm

Well, if it's middle school, maybe they they just haven't got that far in World History.

In their HS yearbook, Cheney and Bush will probably be bumped all the way down to the 5th and 8th slots, respectively. Manson will find himself knocked out of the top 25, with Timmy McVeigh making a strong run up the bracket at 18, with a bullet.

SorosBot June 3, 2011 at 10:39 am

According to the outraged adults in Arkansas, the list should be Martin Luther King, Barack Obama, Nelson Mandela, Muhammad, and Abraham Lincoln.

PsycWench June 3, 2011 at 11:30 am

Not Nancy Pelosi?

SorosBot June 3, 2011 at 11:55 am

She's at least white.

GOPCrusher June 3, 2011 at 1:23 pm

Honorable Mentions to Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson.

freakishlywrong June 3, 2011 at 10:40 am

They've really managed to water down the word "outraged". They spend 24/7 outraged. These are the same assholes that were outraged that the muslin Kenyan eats a hamburger with mustard, ferchrissakes.

Schmannnity June 3, 2011 at 10:42 am

The got an education despite Huckabee.

donner_froh June 3, 2011 at 10:43 am

Those damn hoodrats from Little Rock that Obama can't control are responsible for this outrage.

Redhead June 3, 2011 at 10:43 am

What, no mention of Bill Clinton? He murdered HUNDREDS of potential people (which count as 2.5 real, currently living people) every time Monica swallowed, AND he lied about it!

Lascauxcaveman June 3, 2011 at 12:13 pm

Dr. Science says more like up to 300 million per swallow.

Funny way of looking at it. I never considered my college girlfriends mass murderers.

riverside68 June 3, 2011 at 12:19 pm

If she had only swallowed there would not have been a stain on the dress, thus no proof of perjury, no impeachment.

For the lack of a swallow, we got Bush! I hope that is being taught in the schools today!

Texan_Bulldog June 3, 2011 at 10:43 am

This is considered a big city in AR and my dad lives in one of the suburbs (Hector). I am surprised that a town known for it's smoked ham (Petit Jean) & nuclear reactor grows children who aren't 300 lbs and have three eyes. I am verklempt.

My dad is probably the only Dem in that whole area…although he does have the annoying habit of calling Obama "Bam Bam".

BlueMonkeh June 3, 2011 at 10:51 am

"Bam Bam" – that's probably one of the nicer things he's called there no?

SorosBot June 3, 2011 at 10:54 am

OK, I looked up the place and it has a population of – 28,000 people. That's not a city of any kind.

Chet Kincaid June 3, 2011 at 2:59 pm

Your Dad is Maureen Dowd?

DaSandman June 3, 2011 at 10:45 am

Red states have schools?

OneDollarJuana June 3, 2011 at 10:45 am

Ahhh, White-Out hasn't been made with that good solvent for years.

FYI, Monkee Michael Nesmith's mom invented White-Out.

DaRooster June 3, 2011 at 10:48 am

Yep… one of those completely useless things swimmin' around in a whiskey soaked haze in my… brain?
OT (kinda) When I was a kid, and a huge fan of The Monkees, I met Peter Tork in the radio station my Dad worked… first smelly, no shoe wearing hippie I ever met… good times… good times.

Lascauxcaveman June 3, 2011 at 11:40 am

FYI, Monkee Michael Nesmith's mom invented White-Out.

I have no idea why, but I'm really happy you told us that.

Rosie_Scenario June 3, 2011 at 12:07 pm

Actually "Liquid Paper" I think

OneDollarJuana June 3, 2011 at 12:31 pm

You're right! I just read it in wikipedia. Now "I'm a believer".

OneDollarJuana June 3, 2011 at 10:47 am

Darn right that list is an "oversight". 1) Bush and Cheney should be at the top of the list for tipping the US off the edge into empire decline within our lifetimes (maybe by next Wednesday). 2) Adolph Hitler was not the world's worst person, but the world's worst meat tenderizer.

DahBoner June 3, 2011 at 10:49 am

Shouldn't they call it Wong-out?

Sharkey June 3, 2011 at 10:51 am

Throw in an X-Acto knife and you have a deal.

Weenus299 June 3, 2011 at 10:52 am

See? Us Suthern kids ain't dumb atall. We learn reel good.

hagajim June 3, 2011 at 10:54 am

A list of assholes and not a single colored on it? WTF is wrong with Arkansas anyway?

Doktor Zoom June 3, 2011 at 10:55 am

I loved the shock and outrage from all three morons on the news set. You'd think the cries of "how could this have happened?" had something to do with a horrific crime or something. No doubt the yearbook advisor will lose her job over this, and maybe the principal too.

If they'd listed Obama, of course, it would have been mentioned only on librul websites, and parents would be griping about libruls trying to take away their kids' precious freedom.

Eve8Apples June 3, 2011 at 10:57 am

I guess that what's you get when you send their parents and older siblings to fight and die in unnecessary wars. Who woulda thunk?

SayItWithWookies June 3, 2011 at 11:03 am

Dick Cheney, out of spite, is getting a swastika tattooed on his forehead as we speak.

fuflans June 3, 2011 at 10:19 pm

oh man I just rewatched that today. Such fittng ends.

a_pink_poodle June 3, 2011 at 11:04 am

If it helps, Bush and Cheney are at the bottom 5!

SaintRond June 3, 2011 at 11:04 am

Children in the South haven't had time to eat enough shit burgers and swill enough corn syrup to have the vascular system in their brains harden up and leak out on the same level as their parents. But it won't be long. Next year they'll be committing horrible acts of pointless violence on each other and getting all weepy when they see the Stars & Bars.

Sassomatic June 3, 2011 at 11:09 am

I extremely worried that these children may have been exposed to NPR, PBS, or some other left-wing extremist propaganda (also known as reality.) CUT THE FUNDING!

Guppy06 June 3, 2011 at 11:10 am

Does it have the electricity to operate those stop lights, or are they just there for decoration?

(Yes, I know there's a nuke plant,that doesn't mean anything.)

SorosBot June 3, 2011 at 11:53 am

Like much of the South, do they have electricity solely because of that socialist President they now hate, FDR?

Nothingisamiss June 3, 2011 at 12:01 pm

Damn the rural electrification program! Damn that govt interference bringing phone service!

baconzgood June 3, 2011 at 11:13 am

Arkansas school kids= Winning

simplyblue7 June 3, 2011 at 11:21 am

Awwww…kids really are our future!

KeepFnThatChicken June 3, 2011 at 11:21 am

My first thought was, "Okay, these kids are pretty awesome," and that was without even watching the video, putting two and two together.

Now that I've watched it, I have a new total disdain for the lack of real reporting that occurs on TV. Your reporter is a pussy, who doesn't know how to form a goddamn question and ask it.

smitallica June 3, 2011 at 11:23 am

In most states, children are rewarded for learning history.
See, Arkansas? THAT is why you fail.

Doktor Zoom June 3, 2011 at 11:25 am

If the list actually came from ranker.com, then the real scandal here is that the yearbook advisor didn't give the kids a lesson about using information from online polls.

gef05 June 3, 2011 at 11:25 am

Bad children. Do not have your own opinions. BAD CHILDREN.

fartknocker June 3, 2011 at 11:25 am

After reading this well written post (thank you Wonkette Jr.) I asked my beautiful 14 year old daugher (who is enjoying her first day of summer school vacation) who she believed were the 5 worst people in the world. Now understand she lives in Austin, and we're pretty much known as a liberal bastion of lazy bastards (according to my Republican friends) so here is her response:

1) Rick Perry
2) Karl Rove
3) Dick Cheney
4) Osama Bin Laden
5) Phil Gramm

Kids…You gotta love em!

bflrtsplk June 3, 2011 at 11:29 am

Got nothin.' It's Friday. Let's drink.

Callyson June 3, 2011 at 11:43 am

That school superintendent is a wuss. Black tape? "It's hard to explain?" Dude, the damage (in the eyes of your critics) is done: at least stand up for free speech with some dignity.
Clearly, the students are smarter than the "adults" here…

Ohforcripessake June 3, 2011 at 11:44 am

Whoever put the list in the yearbook, good on them! Rummy should have been there as well. And I love the indignation of everyone interviewed and the news crew. What a bunch of ass-hats.

Doktor Zoom June 3, 2011 at 11:44 am
Sassomatic June 3, 2011 at 11:46 am

Today, we are all easily-removed tape.

mavenmaven June 3, 2011 at 11:47 am

Blame ACORN!

Doktor Zoom June 3, 2011 at 11:51 am

Oh, for fuck's sake. Is there anything that idiot can't turn into content-free word salad?

AJWjr. June 3, 2011 at 12:05 pm

There's an app for that.

mavenmaven June 3, 2011 at 11:52 am

Who was that CNN broadcaster? I think I'm in love.

Lascauxcaveman June 3, 2011 at 11:54 am

Yeah, I hate looking like a too when I'm calling somebody a too.

carlgt1 June 3, 2011 at 11:58 am

In the distant future when the USA finally realizes how horrible Bush & Cheney were, these kids will look like geniuses.

JustPixelz June 3, 2011 at 12:02 pm

Next those pesky kids will be walking all over John McCain's lawn.

thefrontpage June 3, 2011 at 12:10 pm

The Nixon, Reagan, Bush I and Bush II administrations are four of the worst presidential administrations in the history of the United States; Nixon, Reagan, Bush I And Bush II are four of the absolute worst presidents in the history of the United States; and people like Cheney, Bush, Ashcroft, Rumsfeld, Rice, Rove, and many others in the Nixon, Reagan, Bush I and Bush II administrations are easily among the very worst people to hold high-ranking positions in the federal government in the history of the United States.

snoopyfan2010 June 3, 2011 at 12:53 pm

The real oversight was that they forgot to list Lincoln for the war of northern agression like their parents told them to.

mavenmaven June 3, 2011 at 1:12 pm

wow, downfisties love Bush/Cheney.

GOPCrusher June 3, 2011 at 1:13 pm

The fact that the kids even know who Adolph Hitler and Charles Manson are, means that Arkansas hasn't made the great leap into faith-based history education.

GOPCrusher June 3, 2011 at 1:26 pm

Isn't Lexington and Concord in New Hampshire?

MiniMencken June 3, 2011 at 1:29 pm

Since when do middle schools have yearbooks? No wonder the Teabaggers want to cut education funding.

BarackMyWorld June 3, 2011 at 1:37 pm

Somewhere Keith Olbermann just high-fived himself.

Buckminster June 3, 2011 at 1:55 pm

Good lord, spare them!

sezme June 3, 2011 at 2:09 pm

Charles Manson, it must be said, never shot anyone in the face. In fact he never personally killed anyone.

NadePaulKuciGravMcKi June 3, 2011 at 2:16 pm

Obama protects Bush and Cheney from prosecution.

Chet Kincaid June 3, 2011 at 2:44 pm

What is it with these kids today!? Arkansas smarty pants are libeling Bush and Cheney, and 16 and 17-year-olds are making a mockery of Glamorous Patriot Michele Bachmann over the Constitution and Evolution?!
http://www.alternet.org/news/151120/17-year-old_c
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andrew-reinbach/mic

You know what this is? It is a very shameful practice in our schools, called BULLYING. Please don't slit your wrists, 'Cheley, Dick and Dubya. It gets better! If we still had corporal punishment like in my day, those young punks would be sniffling over a different kind of smarty pants!

BZ1 June 3, 2011 at 5:48 pm

At least the kids can spell "Adolf" properly…

zhubajie June 3, 2011 at 7:30 pm

Where do they rank Gov. Fuckabee?

ttommyunger June 3, 2011 at 9:29 pm

From the mouths of babes….I AM impressed!

Negropolis June 3, 2011 at 10:26 pm

A few things…

- Cheney should at least be above Bush and Manson.

- What high school yearbook has a "Worst" section? Really, WTF?

- Russellville is small, but it's not a tiny town, it's actually a small university city.

fuflans June 3, 2011 at 10:31 pm

troll: the weekend approacheth. This means we will be drinking and upfisting each other and you should be out playing with that one friend brietbart.

flamingpdog June 4, 2011 at 11:53 pm

It may be 2011, but in Arkansas, I suspect they still prefer Blak-Out.

13Igor June 6, 2011 at 7:54 am

Where's the rest of that administration?
You could have the 10 Most Wanted without trying hard.

BerkeleyBear June 3, 2011 at 11:29 am

If you live in an aluminum one, lightning is your never ending enemy, on or off the roof.

tessiee June 4, 2011 at 9:57 pm

"The worst thing that could happen if you fell would be that you dent your snuff can."

*snicker!*
"Snuff can"? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

Swampgas_Man June 3, 2011 at 8:39 pm

Pretty much everybody?

Swampgas_Man June 3, 2011 at 8:42 pm

According to my copy of Son Of Origins (and God bless Stan Lee), Fury was handpicked by none other than Tony (Iron Man) Stark hisself!

Doktor Zoom June 5, 2011 at 5:36 pm

See also http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/

I'm inclined to blame the unholy combination of the child abduction / "stranger danger" panic (and yes, abductions happen, but seldom involve strangers), the panic over nonexistent daycare sex-abuse rings / satanic death cults, and the exploitation of both panics by TV "news," especially local news. As multiple studies show, crime rates have declined, but people are convinced they're still increasing, largely due to the "if it bleeds, it leads" mentality of local news.

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