Big-spending Washington elitist insider John Boehner has totally squandered his time as speaker of the House by failing to stop all government spending, so the teabaggers have launched a campaign to throw him out of Congress. “Replacing Nancy Pelosi with John Boehner isn’t much of an improvement,” says Tea Party Nation in a communique delivered to World Net Daily. “Boehner is the typical RINO … his true agenda is to be a deal maker.” Well duh! You don’t get to spend all your time boozing it up at fancy golf clubs if you’re some nutty teabagger!
Who will replace Boehner when the GOP throws him out to try to fool teabaggers in 2012? How about Michele Bachmann? She is super crazy! Or maybe Chuck Norris?
24/7 Wall Street says Boehner will do whatever “debt ceiling” compromise Obama and the bankers ask for, because otherwise this country’s rich people could be in jeopardy!
House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) is finally saying something sensible about the debt ceiling.
Speaking to reporters in Washington after a meeting Wednesday with President Barack Obama, the Ohio Republican argued that he wants to avoid a political battle over whether to extend Uncle Sam’s credit limit, saying “this really needs to be done in the next month if we’re serious about no brinksmanship, no rattling investors.”
The orange-skinned Hill creature is also “quelling an uprising” in both parties over whatever is going on in Libya. Is that still going on? Apparently! What’s that, three simultaneous wars against Muslim countries? And America’s badly losing all three of them? Yes, let’s certainly raise the nation’s debt limit so we can keep that stuff going on.
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They take away his prize can you imagine the flood warning they'll have to put out in DC?
"Teabaggers Say 'No' To Weeping Boehner." A headline both funny and sad, but for way different reasons.
Pro-tip: Everyone should say NO to a weeping Boehner or a weeping Wiener.
Really, who wants a limp, soggy Boehner?
Boehner, Wiener, why are there so many dicks in the republican party?
We can't blame the Weiner on the repubs — he's our dick.
Dick Armey.
Harry Reid.
"Boehner Boned By Budget Battle"
No doubt Tammy Faye Boehner is squirting out some orange tears over this.
The TeaTards want to shoot him like a concrete gator.
"House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) is finally saying something sensible"
No!
This is why the Teabaggers are so good for the Democrats. As soon as a Republican talks even the teeniest bit of sense, the Teabaggers are after him or her like a pack of dogs on a three legged cat. The GOP created the Teabaggers and, like the Frankenstein monster, the creation is destroying the creator. Serves them right.
Am I the only one who thinks Paul Ryan is a Democratic plant?
He looks like too much of a douchebag to be a plant.
Skunk cabbage perhaps?
He does seem to be doing the lord's work, doesn't he?
If there is a god, and he's really telling people like Palin and Bachmann to run…the guy's definitely a lib with a sense of humor.
Paul Ryan has to be a plant or he's the most naive politician to reach national level. He seemed honestly shocked that people, especially the President, would publically poke holes in his nifty plan. People had the nerve to read it and describe it in their own terms. Oh, and who could have imagined that senior citizens might be p.o.'ed at the idea of replacing Medicare (which works great for seniors, by and large) with vouchers?
Paul Ryan isn't a plant, he's just a fool.
And yet, every Republiklan candidate before the 2010 election was trumpeting the Ryan Economic Plan as the One True Path to save America from Socialist destruction.
I'd think it was possible, except that that's way too strategically competent for the Democrats.
Ya got me there!
That's what I used to think about Michael Steele, only Ryan is *much* more effective. Seriously, I hope you are right: it would mean that the Dems are standing up for themselves after all.
And so now the Republican congress must travel to the Arctic to do final battle with their teabag Golem.
Who could have predicted that unleashing a horde of crazed, angry brownshirts incoherently demanding ideological purity could come back to haunt the GOP?
Teabaggers, Xtians or both?
All of 'em, Katie.
Same difference, obviously.
I prefer to think of them as the ignorant red neck racists courted by Nixon's Southern Strategy coming back to haunt the GOP.
Hopefully, as Chris Rock says, acting out like children before they are put to sleep.
Don't worry, he'll flip – flop tomorrow. Though eventually he'll do what the money tells him to do.
Meh. Even a blind dung-beetle occasionally finds a turd.
Wonkette is all Wall Street 24/7 these days.
and they forgot the funny. this one kind of fell of the tracks about halfway through.
Who would have figured John Boehner had enough common sense to not want America to careen off into the abyss? I figure his new slogan can be "John Boehner: Slightly less dickish than Eric Cantor".
…but always more colorful.
If by common sense you mean listening to the men who feed you, Daddy Warbucks et al., as opposed to the mob you are suppose to be leading, teabaggers, yes I agree, the Boehner has figured out who is going to actually pay for his tanning sessions.
"Who will replace Boehner when the GOP throws him out to try to fool teabaggers in 2012?"
Ted Nugent's got my vote.
I always thought that "Wang Dang Sweet Poontang" contained some sound policy proposals.
"Stranglehold" is what they are trying to do…
Live by the teabag sword, die by the teabag sword. Hope you had fun in your first few months as speaker because it is all downhill from here.
Yeah, figured Boehner would know by now you can't take a girl out, make her feel important, screw her & then never call her again. That's how you end up with a dead pet rabbit.
If you have a Boehner for more than 3 wars call an election.
"says Tea Party Nation in a communique"
I thought "communiques" were how Al Qaeda and the Symbionese Liberation Army made their announcements to the press.
Donald DeFreeze lives!!
Next the will be releasing videos from an untraceable location and commenting on recent events to Al Fox News.
I thought they issued ukazes.
Ahh, Tanya…
*sigh*
Our Orange Overlord not measuring up to the knuckle-draggers' standards? This could get interesting.
Oh, I really hope that they replace Boehner with either Michelle Bachmann or Ron Paul. Having the Senate and White House in Democratic hands means that neither can cause significant damage to the country, but they will lead to the rapid extinction of the GOP.
The TPers hate Ron Paul. He wants to legalize drugs and prostitution.
I'm guessing they're cool with his stance on civil rights though.
“Boehner is the typical RINO … his true agenda is to be a deal maker.”
Yeah fuck that, when have House Speakers ever resorted to making deals?
You know, I seem to remember learning that politics was about compromise. This involved the old-fashioned definition of compromise, not the "I'll tell you what I want and then I'll whine if I don't get it" definition that the Republicans coined.
That is one creepy magazine cover. Well done…
"Moody’s To U.S.: We’ll Downgrade Credit Rating If No Deal on Debt Ceiling By Mid-July"
They are just trolling for higher fees. Moody's–the same people who stamped AAA on every default credit swap right up until they all cratered and took the economy with them.
No snark, why do those assholes have any credibility anymore?
That was my thought exactly Clod, who the fuck would trust Moody's since autumn of 2008.
The U.S. Government can't bribe their way to high bond ratings. You have to be Goldman Sachs to afford that.
Here we see the President accompanied by an oddly attired man of color…
Possibly related:
Stocks were headed lower Friday after the U.S. government reported that there were 54,000 new jobs created in May, far fewer than expected, and the unemployment rate ticked slightly higher to 9.1%.
Clearly we need more wars, tax cuts, and deregulation.
~
Yeah!!!!! "deal maker" and "compromise"!!!! What the fuck? Politicians aren't supposted to "agree"! They dig their heels in the sand and bring governance to a screeching halt for an obscure ideal that only .3% of the people want ! Muther-fucker that's how democracy rolls in Emurica!
Teabaggers support tyranny of the minority, read David Barton's version of the constitutionz! http://www.cbn.com/spirituallife/ChurchAndMinistr...
Seriously? Nah. That's a tounge-in-cheek kinda joke right?
Its not a "minority" if Jesus is on your side, I suppose.
Making a giant leap of suppressed scepticism, if Barton is correct that 60% of 40 million xtian talibandidos haven't even registered to vote, I say break out the mood-elevating substance of your choice and party like it's Friday.
The best part about this whole teabagger fiasco is they think cutting all spending and being all Ayn Rand-ish will bring back how things were under their hero Reagan. Truth is it'll bring things back to how they were in 1780.
1780–slavery, property qualification to vote, cholera, smallpox–those were the days!
As if they wouldn't be perfectly fine with at least the first two of those…
As long as property includes mobile homes.
The rich will be able to afford smallpox vaccines, so no worries. Smallpox will help by giving an incentive to the poor.
I don't think they'd like those reagan-era taxes, though.
No more orange RINO with liver problems to keep on, keepin' on? Does this mean no more with our beloved foreign policy?
♪♫ Boom goes Baghdad, boom Tripoli,
More room for you and more room for me ♫♪
Mamma told me not to come.
Uh oh, looks like Boehner is now tweeting lewd pictures of himself.
Ha. Sexy!
Boehner is such a punk.
Whatever Nancy Pelosi's limitations, she knew how to keep her people in line.
Nancy Pelosi is about twenty times the man Boehner is. You didn't see her bawling every 20 minutes about how great she is & she GOT SHIT DONE!
I always thought Nancy could give Harry Reid a pair of balls and still have a pair left over. Brass ones.
Nancy's all San Francisco on the surface, but underneath she's a woman raised in a tough political family in Baltimore. Her father dealt with the frickin Mafia and kept the Democratic machine in the City running.
The sweetest revenge will be to see Boehner handing the Speaker's gavel back to Pelosi, January 2013.
And the tears that fall thereby, oh-so-sweet. He'd make a fortune bottling them.
Nancy Smash!
"If thy Boner offends thee, pluck it out." So, just pluck it, t-tards.
It's like the teabaggers read the story of the Flood in Genesis and thought: yeah, that's just what the U.S. economy needs.Let the entire corrupt Socialist/Corporatists U.S. economy collapse, let all the banks fail, let all industry come to its knees, let every homeowner default on his mortgage, let every buisness close its doors and let go of all its employees. Then, when the nation we knew lays in ruins about us, let a new creation rise from the ashes flying the banner of Libertarian Anarcho-Capitalism, followed by a 1000 year Reich of laissez-faire prosperity.
It's like they're stuck in an absurd Ayn Rand novel (as if there were any other kind of Ayn Rand novel than absurd). These guys make the Bolsheviks, Maoists and even Pol Pot look like prudent, measured pragmatsists by contrast.
Yes! I was just talking with a friend about this yesterday. You really do get the sense that these fat pricks want the apocalypse. It reminds me of the type of nuclear war fetishism that was in the air during the final years of the Cold War. Some weird and non-negligible portion of the population is always wishing for some sort of "cleansing" disaster.
There is a precedent for this. Some years ago, Adam Gopnik wrote a review of some recent books on World War I. It included this:
…The new histories suggest that the war was welcomed in 1914, and particularly by the literate classes, as a necessary act of hygiene, a chance to restore seriousness of purpose after the two trivial decades of the Edwardian Belle Époque. The bourgeois atomization of society—with its pursuit of private pleasures at the expense of common cause, its celebration of goods at the expense of honor—would be repaired by a unifying new national purpose. Chesterton and Sherlock Holmes, in different ways, recapture the mood of dissatisfaction with the bourgeois, the decadent, the trifling, and the petty. (In “His Last Bow,” Holmes’s last adventure, which is set in the summer of 1914, Holmes says to Watson, “It will be cold and bitter, Watson, and a good many of us may wither before its blast. But it’s God’s own wind none the less, and a cleaner, better, stronger land will lie in the sunshine when the storm has cleared.”)
So, off to the Somme, Verdun and Gallipoli! A default will be good for everyone! And the Galtian paradise that follows will be almost as wonderful as the rapture.
That's the part about hard core Libertarianism that bothers me the most….the willingness to have the whole system collapse cyclically as it did before the Great Depression. They assume that THEY won't be impacted by the crashes since they are so darn superior to the rest of us and they have no compassion at all to innocent people who would be hurt when the banks or industries failed. I'm not sure what is worse, the baseless assumption of superiority or the complete lack of compassion. Its frickin pathological, really.
This is beginning to resemble a serious discussion and scary as it it, this desire for a "cleansing" of society which is also reminiscent of Vichy France, personally I think most of these libertarian dweebs are motivated by the delusion that once civilization collapses they'll get their pick of the chicks.
Don't forget the guns. They would prefer a society based on the caliber of the citizenry, so to speak.
They are a lot like the rapture-believing idiots; they love to describe with glee how after being taken up to heaven they'll be able to look down on the suffering of all remaining on Earth and watch all those heathens and sinners get what's coming to them. They hate anyone who isn't them and gloat in the torture of others.
Guess that should be no surprise, since both Libertarianism and the branch of Christianity that believes in the rapture are fundamentalist religions with vile, anti-human dogma.
The authoritarian Objectivists all assume that they are so superior, mostly by value of their whiteness, penises and pomposoty, once the new feudalistic paradise they want is set up they'll be members of the aristocracy, not the peasantry; and they're dead wrong on that.
pomposoty?
Ouch, that sounds painful. Do they have an unguent for that?
I'm not worried about this scenario at all, thank goodness. Given that at least 3% of the teabaggers are in Hoverounds, 5% are diabetic, and roughly 20% are morbidly obese, those of us that are skinnier, hungrier and more agile will just run circles around them, eat them, and take their shit.
Since the tea-tards are all "Small Gummint!" anyway, they won't mind not having cops around while we pillage.
Lord of the Flies is this generation's E Pluribus Unum
Why does it have to be all of us, though? Why not just let everything collapse in, say, Texas, and see if anybody learns anything?
In a democracy we inevitably get the government they deserve.
WIN
In response, Agent Orange will lurch to the right and totally screw the economic pooch. Becky may have been onto something with all that "buy gold" shit.
He was definitely onto something… he was onto the fact that Goldline would pay him a lot of money to shill their product.
Pretty easy to let the crazies in your "Big Tent" not as easy to get it out is it?
It's a lot like the story of the woman who saves a pretty snake from freezing. When the snake is well, he bites the woman and as she's dying he asks her "What did you expect? I'm a snake."
The baggers won't ever raise your taxes, but they're perfectly happy making thousands disappear from your 401K. At least with taxes, the money doesn't just vaporize.
Obama, why aren't you shouting this on the teevee every night? If you don't, you'll be (more easily) blamed for the upcoming collapse.
Well shit. In that picture, Boner's darker than NOBAMER. No wonder they dumped the colored guy.
So they're saying he is really yellow?
Can you even be a a real teabagger if your mom was not hit (repeatedly) in the head by a copy of "Atlas Sucks" when she was pregnant?
I’m surprised Boehner doesn’t want to shut down the government when it worked out so well for Newt. Gingrich is running for president, has a million dollar credit line at Tiffany’s, is well thought of with the social conservatives for his exemplarity morals and he has finally found a wife that will do the nasty without puking.
"A wife that will do the nasty without puking"?
Thanks. Now I'm the one who's puking.
"…without puking". Not so sure about that. Her teeth can't be that white without her bleaching her mouth out all the time. Hey, a girl's got to earn half a million in diamonds somehow!
At least we know that the orange weeper has some principles; sure, he'll hold the entire US economy hostage to try and get the Democrats to agree to fuck over the poor, and take concrete steps to worsen the unemployment crisis, but he will not endanger the stock holdings of our nation's useless rich parasites.
Well, after yesterday I was going to move the bookmark for Wonkette from the "fun stuff" folder to the "depressing shit" folder, but this has me rethinking that plan.
The lean and hungry Eric (Cassius) Cantor is just offstage, sharpening his knife.
keine Scheiße
He is an evil little opportunist, no doubt.
"et tu, Paul Ryan? Then fall Boner!"
Nah, it won't be Cantor; while the GOP will put, you know, one of those people in a senior advisory position, because they're good with money and such, they're not going to let one be speaker. The fundies would riot.
He has a lean & never-gone-hungry-a-day-in-his-life look about him.
Teabbagers don't get Boehner? Now that's shocking…
They have medication for that these days. Cialis laced with lithium.
Still, they would need to get their lazy asses off the scooters…
I'll take the weiner over the boehner any day.
Why don't they replace him with that guy who shot up the seafood store because they ran out of crawfish? I mean, at least that's something a rational, crawfish-eating person can almost understand.
Oh so people outside of here heard about that. Crawfish really are delicious, you know.
House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) is finally saying something sensible…
Stop the presses! Alert the media! Call out the National Guard!
While the rest of us are on the cable standard.
Kinda reminds me of the time the Khmer Rouge knocked off Pol Pot for being a traitor to the cause.
24/7 Wall Street says Boehner will do whatever “debt ceiling” compromise Obama and the bankers ask for, because otherwise this country’s rich people could be in jeopardy!
If the TeaTards want to rise up against the rich, I say more power to them. They will make great cannon fodder.
Ah Mr. Boehner, do you see that obese woman in the corner that's perched atop the mobility scooter? You know, the wild-haired lady that keeps muttering about death panels, Obamar, and the gold standard? Well, you brought her to the party, so start dancing. By the way, she's insisting on several slow jams with a certain Mr. Boner.
Jack Kevorkian died and now this story?!? Looks like I'll be spending all day cutting up limes for Happy Hour at Barb's Bar and Barbeque.
For a minute I thought you said "cutting up lines," but no, alas, that was not what you said.
Nah, "Peruvian Marching Powder" is just God's way of saying "you make too much damned money"
Hah! I thought she said cutting in line, and thought well it's your party haven't you got some pull?
When life gives you limes, it's a sign from the universe that you should be drinking mojitos.
I'll be right over.
But how do you know life is not telling you to drink capihranas?
Have you told LimeyLiz?
So there are at least, what… 67 Tea-maggots left… yet they think anyone wants to listen to them. Although, in reality… no one truly ever wanted to listen… no one sane anyhow.
Well, you know, they do represent the majority of Americans. Maybe they need to stage another one of those massive rallys on the steps of the Capitol.
What’s that, three simultaneous wars against Muslim countries? And America’s badly losing all three of them?
That's because we're, like, so fuckin' Exceptional!
True dat. At least with Manifest Destiny we got something out of the deal.
What we get out of the deal there, is the teatards get to drive the ginormous SUVs for another few months on still relatively cheap gasoline.
Well, Bin Laden’s corpse is being eaten by crabs at the bottom of the Indian Ocean. So at least our endless wars are going better than they were under shrub.
Reminds me of the poor libtards at demtard underground, they were always all worked up and angry that the democratic minority in the house and senate wouldn't "grow a spine" and just plain win by trying harder and wanting to, even though they were, you know, the minority. Of course, the teatards are angry over the GOP failing to enact different goals of theirs, such as the abolition of all government, restoration of chattel slavery, Christianity as the State Religion, and mandatory gun ownership (this is what Jesus' Constitution intended), but the idiocy and petulant foot-stamping childishness is the same.
Do not go gentle under that good bus John.
Teabaggers want to stop all government spending.
Then why did our Founding Fathers bother to form a government?
Why didn't they just leave rich people alone?
While the Teatards circumcise Boehner, Lou Sarah is taking an afternoon ride with Paul Revere in Bawston.
Oh for fucks sake.
Can't they give her a history lesson by tarring and feathering her and riding her out of town on a rail?
She's not afraid of being mistaken for Paul Revere's horse? Unpossible.
I have to imagine that Bible Spice in Boston will go over as well as a turd in the punchbowl.
So, Tea Partiers would rather have their own net worth crater than risk compromising with the Dems on the debt ceiling? Awesome. I look forward to the day they discover they can't use their credit cards anymore and that their whole life savings will just about buy a pack of cigarettes at the one (immigrant run) store left open in town. Maybe then they'll get why their "commonsense solutions" of cutting taxes and slashing spending don't work in a complex economic system.
Oh, who am I kidding. They'll just blame Obama and go on a minority shooting spree.
They already have themselves convinced that the entire budget could be balanced by defunding Planned Parenthood and PBS.
And putting 30 million illegal aliens into cattle cars.
I have the feeling that if any of them have an urgin' to go shoot some my (insert pause here) noritees that the first time they try they will discover that they have guns too and unlike most teatards, have had enough military experience to know how to effectively defend against a fat moron with a .357 and no coordination or sense or intelligence. And they'll likely be sober too. The fresh hand cannons will be appreciated though.
John Boehner has achieved his rightful destiny – He is a tool of the nutjobs and simultaneously despised by them. The way a hooker is despised by a John.
Yes I'm stuck in the middle with you,
And I'm wondering what it is I should do,
It's so hard to keep the tears off my face,
Losing control, yeah, I'm all over the place,
RINOs to the left of me, Teabaggers to the right,
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.
Boner and his tears………. You mean the Tea Baggers don't love him?
Whenever I see Boehner introduced in an article, his name in my head has a Scooby voice, as in: John Boehner (Ruh-ROH).
♫ Oompa loompa doompadee doo
Boehner's days are numbered, oh boo hoo
What do you get when you pander and you weep?
Shunning the plight of the people on the street
They're gonna screw you with a baseball bat
Happy for the chance to punish a fat cat
Oompa loompa doompadee dah
Slashing Medicare won't get you very far
Can't cut a deal with the tea-party now too
You can only cry, boo hoo, boo hoo, boo hoo
Doompadee doompadee doompadee doo ♫
What’s that, three simultaneous wars against Muslim countries? And America’s badly losing all three of them? Yes, let’s certainly raise the nation’s debt limit so we can keep that stuff going on.
Oh christ, Riley's back.
Do you know who else is a RINO?
Toliwe?
Joe 'Droopy Dog' Lieberman?
Obadiah Horn?
Every time the teapartiers and the mainstream Repubs draw blood from one another, God creates a new adorable little kitten.
Teacher says every time a bell rings, a teabagger gets its hoveround!
From Nancy Pelosi, probably the best Speaker since Sam Rayburn to John Boehner who not only can't deliver his caucus, he can't even count votes. Steepest drop off since someone took a wrong turn on the way up Mt. Everest.
It's because he's a dick.
When stone cold reality can no longer be ignored, and the glitter fades in the eyes of fundamentalists, all that's left is that dull, gray shark gaze, with the retina directly mainlining the limbic system. And that's when it gets…tasty.
Methinks the teabaggers will get their comeuppance real soon on this debt ceiling thing. The Wall Street types who run the GOP and the Democratic party want it raised. Angry dumb old white people on scooters can't compete with billionaires. And if Boehner caves to the Glenn Beck crowd, he's way dumber than I thought
I've been saying that for months. Maybe now Tea Baggers will realize how used they really were and drown themselves in their tears of impotent rage.
I hate to rain on your parade (dribble 'Boehner tears' on it), but I really doubt there will be any "realizing" done by any Tea Baggers. Not exactly introspective creatures.
Rage: check. Theirs is a rage-based economy.
Impotent: check. When their core concepts are so far from reality, how can they possibly get anything done? They're "Taxed Enough Already" .. after entire eras of tax cuts, and income tax rates are the lowest they've been in decades. Predictably enough, Step 3 is still all question marks.
Drown themselves: maybe more like batter themselves to pulp trying to tear down every Orange fool who tries to lead them, and actually has the unfortunate task of actual governance.
Realize how used they were: I don't see how. Unless someone sneaks some "They Live" sunglasses technology into their flat screens…
When they are no longer useful idiots, they will be ignored, as long as they can be counted upon to show up and vote against their own interests, they will be paid lip service. The kabuki will keep up until the money people make a few calls to a few freshman "tea party" candidates explaining how things work and how there are times and places for outrage, but STFU and pass the fucking bill already. But there will always be a place for pandering to people with the god, gays, and guns types in the GOP. It's what gets stupid people to vote against their interests.
So the teabaggers have no choice but to put a giant pair of TruckNutz on the Capital dome.
The words to express my sympathy for his plight are difficult to find … because trying to type & ROFL at the same time is a real bitch.
Then thee's this precious facebook comment on the article:
"I'm so sick of Boehner crying and then talking tough, right before he shoves his butt in Hussaains face and surrenders! He needs to go!"
Is that really how teabaggers signal surrender?
Crotch shot or GTFO.
The Boner sounds slightly less demented than Cantor and is crucified, what irony.. forget it, the T-tards don't get irony… or virtually anything else…
Not to worry, always a place at Faux News for one more right wing tool with name recognition.
Not going to happen even Faux expects their employees to show up, work hard and stay sober.
They do seem a driven lot.
Umm…you know that's the practical reason why a congressperson is chosen to be Speaker, right?
Nancy's not done with America just yet, just you wait and see. Like the South and Zombies, she shall rise, again!
Carrion lily
Or Amorphophallus. A little tiny one, but with strong rotting meat odor.
Evidently, Mrs. Michele "Crazy Eyes" Bachmann is scheduled to show up at a Republiklan nominee debate in New Hampshire.
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