Beloved welfare farmer and shaving opponent Joe Miller (R-Loser) finally has a political job! Don’t worry, Ivy League Joe still didn’t get elected to anything. Miller is just the chairman of some new Teabagger group dedicated to defeating the evil Mormon liberal elitist French-speaking Obamacare advocate from Taxachusetts, Mitt Romney. “In a matchup against Obama, Tea Party voters are looking for a consistent constitutional conservative,” says Greasy Joe in some press release sent to Wonkette for some reason. “We will never get behind Mitt Romney. On issues like gun rights, gay rights, abortion, immigration, and health care, Romney has flipped more than John Kerry flopped.”
But Miller also hates Sarah Palin, even though she is the only Consistent Constitutional Conservative in World History, according to the Constitution, which she wrote. So who will be the teabagger candidate of choice? Herman “Mc”Cain? Arnold Sperminator? Chuck Norris? Larry Craig? Glenn Beck’s timeslot on Fox News?
“As of right now, we’re not making an endorsement on who should be the Republican nominee,” said Executive Director Bryan Shroyer. “We just know that if Mitt Romney wins the nomination, we’ll be looking at a repeat of Bob Dole’s feckless 1996 campaign and a landslide defeat.”
ABM! Anybody But Mittens!