ANYBODY BUT MITTENS!  12:45 pm June 2, 2011

Joe Miller (Remember Him?) Leading Nevada (?) ‘Stop Romney’ Campaign

by Wonkette Jr.

Ivy League welfare farmer.Beloved welfare farmer and shaving opponent Joe Miller (R-Loser) finally has a political job! Don’t worry, Ivy League Joe still didn’t get elected to anything. Miller is just the chairman of some new Teabagger group dedicated to defeating the evil Mormon liberal elitist French-speaking Obamacare advocate from Taxachusetts, Mitt Romney. “In a matchup against Obama, Tea Party voters are looking for a consistent constitutional conservative,” says Greasy Joe in some press release sent to Wonkette for some reason. “We will never get behind Mitt Romney. On issues like gun rights, gay rights, abortion, immigration, and health care, Romney has flipped more than John Kerry flopped.”

But Miller also hates Sarah Palin, even though she is the only Consistent Constitutional Conservative in World History, according to the Constitution, which she wrote. So who will be the teabagger candidate of choice? Herman “Mc”Cain? Arnold Sperminator? Chuck Norris? Larry Craig? Glenn Beck’s timeslot on Fox News?

“As of right now, we’re not making an endorsement on who should be the Republican nominee,” said Executive Director Bryan Shroyer. “We just know that if Mitt Romney wins the nomination, we’ll be looking at a repeat of Bob Dole’s feckless 1996 campaign and a landslide defeat.”

ABM! Anybody But Mittens!

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 177 comments }

nounverb911 June 2, 2011 at 12:47 pm

Needs more magic underwear (and not Anthony Weiner's).

Negropolis June 3, 2011 at 1:06 am

If it is to be believed, there was no magic involved in Weiners underwear.

nounverb911 June 2, 2011 at 12:48 pm

Will Miller be giving the teabaggers teabagging lessons?

DaRooster June 2, 2011 at 1:28 pm

Too many whiskers…

Jukesgrrl June 2, 2011 at 11:05 pm

Eeewwwwwwwwwwwwww!

ManchuCandidate June 2, 2011 at 12:48 pm

Hello. My name is Joe Miller. You killed my political career. Prepare to die (politically.)

nounverb911 June 2, 2011 at 12:54 pm

Does Miller have six fingers on his right hand?

ManchuCandidate June 2, 2011 at 12:56 pm

I would not be surprised.

zappadoo76 June 2, 2011 at 1:03 pm

If so, he should donate one to Rahm. No, wait.

weejee June 2, 2011 at 1:06 pm

Too soon?

WriteyWriterton June 2, 2011 at 1:07 pm

Never.

WriteyWriterton June 2, 2011 at 12:56 pm

Joe Miller = Inigo Montoya? William Goldman thanks you for the product-placement.

Lascauxcaveman June 2, 2011 at 1:38 pm

More likely barfing on his shoes. That'd be like casting Steve Buscemi as Zorro, or d'Artagnan.

WriteyWriterton June 2, 2011 at 1:44 pm

I like that analogy. The thought of SB in one of those roles makes me smile.

Lascauxcaveman June 2, 2011 at 1:51 pm

And you have to admit, there'd be no one better to play the lead in Political Frontiersman: The Joe Miller Story.

tcaalaw June 2, 2011 at 2:23 pm

Never go in against a Wasillian when death is on the line!

BarryOPotter June 2, 2011 at 2:30 pm

That's true only if the option to quit is not available.

Not_So_Much June 2, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Why doesn't he just sing the Monty Python "Spam" song but use the word "Guns" instead? Be more entertaining, anywhoo…

weejee June 2, 2011 at 1:14 pm

'Cause the Michele (Bachmann, not our beloved FLOTUS with two Ls) has glommed the political copyright for that and she'll be using it when she announces her candidacy in her birther town of Waterloo, IA. Spam, of course, being one of Minnesota's prime bits of corporate pork (both figuratively and literally). And while in a parenthetical mood, can Michele be so totally unaware of the name significance of Waterloo? Oh yes she can! She's not seen as being batshit crazy for nothin'.

genxr June 2, 2011 at 1:17 pm

"Can I have the guns eggs sausage and guns without the guns?"

"Ewwww!"

Pragmatist2 June 2, 2011 at 12:51 pm

Miller seems well- qualified. He was world-class at stopping himself.

neiltheblaze June 2, 2011 at 12:52 pm

Oh good – I see Joe's finally got a job!

emmelemm June 2, 2011 at 1:12 pm

Now he can get off that Alaskan welfare teat!!

Wait, what?

Negropolis June 3, 2011 at 1:11 am

And remain on the Kansas welfare tit!

freakishlywrong June 2, 2011 at 12:52 pm

They never fucking shut up about what they hate, don't want, are against. I can't ever seem to figure out what these ignorant hillbillies are about.

ManchuCandidate June 2, 2011 at 12:56 pm

Angry stupid fucks are all about being angry stupid fucks.

freakishlywrong June 2, 2011 at 1:08 pm

But they're considered a "grass roots political force". The determine electoral outcomes in this God and legitimate journalism forsaken country. They've become self aware.

ManchuCandidate June 2, 2011 at 1:13 pm

They're not really self aware. They're more attention seekers who go to where the attention is plentiful like pathetic fame whores to reality TV shows. If they were self aware they'd figure out why they can't ever be happy.

Problem is for most of these rageaholics is that (as you pointed out) you have to be for something besides againing (sic) it. I've met more than my share of folks like Joe–if I hadn't smartened up myself, I might have been one.

weejee June 2, 2011 at 1:22 pm

An infinite supply of untaxed Skoal and Pud Light. And Cheetos, too, also.

HobbesEvilTwin June 2, 2011 at 1:29 pm

buttsecks, basically, with a little teabagging, also, too.

freakishlywrong June 2, 2011 at 1:35 pm

Fuck the world. Gasp! Downfisty Mc.Asshole is a teatard!

Weenus299 June 2, 2011 at 1:56 pm

They're about four feet tall, live in trees and are so cute they make you vomit. Yub-yub!

CapeClod June 2, 2011 at 2:06 pm

They are about politically empowering the least intelligent classes.

Diabeetis June 2, 2011 at 2:22 pm

I don't think it's quite accurate to say that Teabaggers are "hillbillies", per se. The majority of them seem to be downwardly-mobile suburbanite booboisie who don't realize they're being duped by the same people who are fleecing them.

Besides, my mom's side of the family is from Appalachia and about half of them are loyal Democrats, and most of the rest of them don't even vote.

WriteyWriterton June 2, 2011 at 12:52 pm

Trust me on this: Mitt will find a way to pander to Miller.

bordo2 June 2, 2011 at 12:53 pm

Maybe now that he has a job, the schnook can afford a razor and some shaving cream.

Bonzos_Bed_Time June 2, 2011 at 12:57 pm

For the record, The Art of Shaving unscented cream is wonderful stuff.
Bonzo highly endorses it without any of this guy's reservation!

Arken June 2, 2011 at 12:53 pm

Yeah, it's totally not because he's a Mormon.

WriteyWriterton June 2, 2011 at 1:10 pm

Totes!

Callyson June 2, 2011 at 12:54 pm

Let me guess…this will turn out the same way W's search for a Veep in 2000 did, when the person who was supposed to be doing the searching ended up nabbing the job himself. It's Miller time!

Barb June 2, 2011 at 12:54 pm

The Teabaggers don't even know that the tax rate is at a historic low. They don't just want to be taxed less, they want to be taxed less by a white guy.

freakishlywrong June 2, 2011 at 1:11 pm

And, Barb, if you really want your head to assplode, pour yourself a rum and coke and get a load of this fucking horseshit:
http://crooksandliars.com/susie-madrak/not-only-a

Not_So_Much June 2, 2011 at 1:44 pm

Yes, but these are the "job creators", silly. If they paid taxes, then we might have an un/underemployment problem and jobs would move offshore. This dystopian hellscape that they keep cautioning us against is, apparently, somehow different than, you know, today…

Barb June 2, 2011 at 1:50 pm

Wow, Freakishly, that is eye opening, thanks!

prommie June 2, 2011 at 1:13 pm

A "constitutional" guy.

BarryOPotter June 2, 2011 at 2:44 pm

A "constitutional" guy.

Don't ask. You'll only end up poking your eye out from aggressive face-palming.

TanzbodenKoenig June 2, 2011 at 12:54 pm

needz moar neckbeard. and buttsechs

JoeBiteme June 2, 2011 at 12:54 pm

Why does every photo of this guy look like surveillance footage?

prommie June 2, 2011 at 1:13 pm

Or a mugshot. Film from Cops.

JoeBiteme June 2, 2011 at 1:17 pm

"The victim described her attacker as caucasian, 6'1" and "a total fucking mouthbreather…"

m_supercomputer June 2, 2011 at 1:18 pm

Not strictly related, but I couldn't miss a chance to post one of my favorite Mystery Science Theater 3000 quotes: "Every frame of this film looks like someone's last known photograph."

Boredw/Gravitas June 2, 2011 at 1:31 pm

Which episode? Inquiring MiSTie minds want to know.

Doktor Zoom June 2, 2011 at 2:17 pm

Manos: The Hands of Fate.

(You know, there's this thing called "Google"…snark aside, with most browsers, you can just highlight the words you wanna look up, right-click, and then do a search)

(Yeah, I'm just one of those people)

Boredw/Gravitas June 2, 2011 at 2:42 pm

Too lazy to do teh googles. Thanks for the info, though.

HistoriCat June 2, 2011 at 2:52 pm

At this time, this Wonkette page is #5 when I Google the quote.

not that Dewey June 2, 2011 at 2:59 pm

Don't hesitate to pass this around.

freakishlywrong June 2, 2011 at 1:38 pm

A million pees for a MiSTi quote! One of mine was always "Do farts have lumps"? Which ole' Joey there could also be thinking.

tihond June 2, 2011 at 12:54 pm

Don't worry Mittens… If you don't win the presidency, after you die, your Mormon peeps will baptize you as one.

SexySmurf June 2, 2011 at 12:57 pm

After he dies he get's to be the God of his own planet. Can you image an entire planet run by Mittens? (shudder).

WriteyWriterton June 2, 2011 at 12:59 pm

He'd leverage the planet, sell off the handful of valuable assets, fire everyone, and put the planet in Chapter 11.

ManchuCandidate June 2, 2011 at 1:01 pm
OneDollarJuana June 2, 2011 at 1:37 pm

It'll be the one with the highly variable orbit.

SilverTsunami June 2, 2011 at 1:19 pm

Of your very own, entire planet!

mavenmaven June 2, 2011 at 12:54 pm

Is everyone from Alaska relocating to the Southwest? This is like the Okie migration to California, only instead of migrating because of the famine, they are migrating because of the stoopid.

nounverb911 June 2, 2011 at 12:58 pm

Yes, they are bringing the stupid with them.

WriteyWriterton June 2, 2011 at 1:00 pm

How could you tell the difference?

AJWjr. June 2, 2011 at 2:32 pm

Time to finish the danged fence. Around Alaska, that is.

Bonzos_Bed_Time June 2, 2011 at 12:55 pm

He obviously didn't hear that Nevada lacks a Permanent Fund.

AJWjr. June 2, 2011 at 2:32 pm

No income tax, though. Or is that just for me, because I also have no income?

Bonzos_Bed_Time June 2, 2011 at 4:36 pm

But it has all those sparkly lights!

LiveToServeYa June 2, 2011 at 12:55 pm

Indefinitely an ignorant idiot.

nounverb911 June 2, 2011 at 12:56 pm

"We will never get behind Mitt Romney. "
Miller likes being in front?

GodShammgod June 2, 2011 at 12:56 pm

When's the last time this guy took a bath?

HobbesEvilTwin June 2, 2011 at 1:33 pm

right after he won that election.

AJWjr. June 2, 2011 at 2:34 pm

That's why he came down to Nevaduh–all the water in Alaska is still frozen.

freakishlywrong June 2, 2011 at 12:58 pm

Oh and Joe? (Why are they all named Joe?) Joe? It doesn't matter what mouth-breathing, rabidly insane consistent constitutional conservative you fascists nominate, you're going down, bitches.

SorosBot June 2, 2011 at 12:58 pm

Mittens better be careful and look out for angry Joe's hired goons.

NorthStarSpanx June 2, 2011 at 1:17 pm

I don't know, his top hired goon went into Witness Protection while the rest are going on trial for plotting to kill a judge, his family and the grocery baggers cause they aint real Teabaggers.

NorthStarSpanx June 2, 2011 at 1:27 pm

Downfister busy today, harshing the mellow of the forum the way they overrun the HuffPost.

tihond June 2, 2011 at 1:28 pm

They went back to work as the only white guys in the S1Ws.

Boredw/Gravitas June 2, 2011 at 1:33 pm

I feel a head-stompin' coming on.

UpFistTroll June 2, 2011 at 12:58 pm

Republicans, consume thine selves.

ifthethunderdontgetya June 2, 2011 at 12:58 pm

Good, Sarah Palin is way past boring.

We need some other pathetic, babbling loser to represent "Real America", as defined by the millionaires on our TV sets.
~

WriteyWriterton June 2, 2011 at 1:01 pm

Joe Miller is not yet Ailes-Approved (TM)

SayItWithWookies June 2, 2011 at 12:58 pm

Ah, summertime in Alaska — when 22 hours a day of sunlight flushes even the pale tortured losers out from under their rocks.

hollywooddood June 2, 2011 at 12:59 pm

Would someone please get this guy a shower? And some accessories. Anyone have a paper bag?

DaRooster June 2, 2011 at 1:45 pm

Anyone have a plastic bag and a heavy duty zip tie?

ChapterUndVerse June 3, 2011 at 1:04 am

Best I can do is a Kleenex, only slightly used.

SorosBot June 2, 2011 at 1:00 pm

“We just know that if Mitt Romney wins the nomination, we’ll be looking at a repeat of Bob Dole’s feckless 1996 campaign and a landslide defeat.”

And if someone acceptable to you teabbing idiots wins the nomination, you'll be looking at a repeat of Barry Goldwater's crazed 1964 campaign and a much bigger landslide defeat.

WriteyWriterton June 2, 2011 at 1:09 pm

That didn't work out too well for the rest of us over the long run.

genxr June 2, 2011 at 1:22 pm

I dunno, I'm kind of enjoying this "not initiating a global nuclear war" thing we have going here.

WriteyWriterton June 2, 2011 at 1:28 pm

Fair enough.

Weenus299 June 2, 2011 at 2:07 pm

Really, I mean. Bob Dole had a lot of feck in him.

timbo71351 June 2, 2011 at 2:08 pm

Where the hell does this angry loser and his asshole spokesman get off on insulting Bob Dole like that? Dole was a war hero, served in the House and Senate for decades, reinvented himself as America's grumpy old man. Miller doesn't have a job and he looks like a washed up porno actor.

mumbly_joe June 2, 2011 at 4:57 pm

Right-wingers love The Troops, but hate actual veterans. Known fact.

DerrickWildcat June 2, 2011 at 1:00 pm

He's kinda hot in the way that which Stevie Nicks finds kinda hot.

seppdecker June 2, 2011 at 1:32 pm

like a second tier porn star?

Weenus299 June 2, 2011 at 2:06 pm

pan-handler dirty and holding up bags of cocaine?

WhatTheHolyHeck June 2, 2011 at 1:00 pm

Finally, the right-wing is getting around to creating jobs.

rmontcal June 2, 2011 at 1:01 pm

Flip flops? Who are all these dudes in brown flip flops?

Come here a minute June 2, 2011 at 1:01 pm

I never thought I would have anything in common with Joe Miller, but I, too, am hoping for "a repeat of Bob Dole’s feckless 1996 campaign and landslide defeat."

Pres[EXTERMINATE!!] June 2, 2011 at 1:51 pm

1. Hold pen in arm paralyzed in war injury
2. Refer to self in third person
3. Fall off stage
4. ????
5. PRESIDENCY!
6. Oops… Viagra commercials

The thing is, if Republicans stay true to form, they WILL nominate Mittens, because it's His Turn. Just like it was McCain's turn in 2008 (unsuccessful primary run in 2000), Dole's turn in 1996 (unsuccessful VP run in 1976, unsuccessful primary runs in 1980 and 1988), Bush Senior's in 1992 (unsuccessful primary run in 1980), and Reagan's in 1980 (unsuccessful primary run in 1976). Sometimes it works out OK for them, sometimes it doesn't, and when it doesn't, it's pretty spectacular.

nounverb911 June 2, 2011 at 1:01 pm

Hey Writey! Your White Sox did a nice job on the Red Sox this week.

WriteyWriterton June 2, 2011 at 1:03 pm

Oh, my, yes, nv911 (and Giuliani does envy 911, btw). If, however, they come home and stink up the Comiskey-Cell, I'll be displeased. Reinsdorf fears my wrath, though, for some reason, he never takes my calls.

WriteyWriterton June 2, 2011 at 1:07 pm

Am I right in recalling you're the Yankee fan? Hate to do you folks a favor, as I grew up a Yankee-hater, but I'll take Ws wherever we get them.

My grandfather – bless his Bolshevik heart – used to call the Yankees the "Chaim Yonkels."

littlebigdaddy June 2, 2011 at 1:04 pm

Bob Dole's "feckless" campaign? Wasn't he the Viagra spokesman? Or was that later?

genxr June 2, 2011 at 1:23 pm

Not to mention his brilliant performance on The Simpsons.

tihond June 2, 2011 at 1:31 pm

In '96, it was accurate to describe his campaign as limp and flaccid, unable to please even the staunchest republican supporter with the "angle of his dangle."

zappadoo76 June 2, 2011 at 1:05 pm

Miller sent this press release to Wonkette because he knew it was the only place where it could actually get published. And as we know, any publicity is good publicity.

metamarcisf June 2, 2011 at 1:07 pm

The only way to stop Romney's momentum is to handcuff him to a chair.

WriteyWriterton June 2, 2011 at 1:12 pm

I think you could stop his momentum with a wren feather.

Peace in our time June 2, 2011 at 1:35 pm

I usually have to pay extra for that.

WriteyWriterton June 2, 2011 at 1:41 pm

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

SheriffRoscoe June 2, 2011 at 1:51 pm

Not to mention keeping the "hired goon" unemployment rate down too, as an unintended side benefit.

AJWjr. June 2, 2011 at 2:42 pm

I was thinking the luggage rack of a station wagon, but OK.

ChapterUndVerse June 3, 2011 at 1:08 am

Ah, c'mon, metamarcisf…you could stop Romney's momentum only by getting behind him with a jet-propelled engine. As near as I can tell, he's actually moving backwards. Although I hear that the laws of physics not only don't apply to politics, but are actively suspended for a significant minority of the electorate.

zappadoo76 June 2, 2011 at 1:07 pm

They could form a bund. No, wait. I think they actually are a bund.

BaldarTFlagass June 2, 2011 at 1:15 pm

Mmmm. Bund cake and tea.

4TheTurnstiles June 2, 2011 at 1:08 pm

the wingnut right was long overdue for a Night of the Long Dildoes. and I don't mean in the James O'Keefe love boat sense.

byepluto June 2, 2011 at 1:09 pm

He reminds me of House, if the good Dr thought that minimum wage was raping the constitution.

mumbly_joe June 2, 2011 at 4:59 pm

Another difference: House is a curmudgeon. Joe Miller is simply an asshole.

prommie June 2, 2011 at 1:11 pm

"Constitutional" = "white." Its the Teatards' favorite word, and to them it just means "white." Christian, also, you betcha!

hagajim June 2, 2011 at 1:11 pm

Who will be the teabagger candidate? It doesn't matter because all of them suck balls.

SheriffRoscoe June 2, 2011 at 1:11 pm

Joe Miller. The Libertarian opposed to gay rights. Let that sink in for a moment.

WriteyWriterton June 2, 2011 at 1:20 pm

Consistency is not a concern for these people. Except for Obama-hatin'.

SheriffRoscoe June 2, 2011 at 1:28 pm

Conservative Christians like the sound of the word "libertarianism," it's when they get into the nitty-gritty of not having a clue as to what words actually mean that they get into trouble.

WriteyWriterton June 2, 2011 at 1:36 pm

Agreed, I like much of the actual Libertarian agenda, which dovetails in places with the Bill off Rights' emphasis on individual liberty and privacy. These Teapublicans, however, have no clue what's in any amendment other than the 10th, and they don't understand that terribly well. Just loved Rand Paul wanting to imprison people for listening to radical speech. They guy knows as much about libertarian philosophy as he does about ophthalmology.

SorosBot June 2, 2011 at 2:12 pm

As another blogger realized, if Rand Paul got his First Amendment violating wish it would mean we'd have to imprison or deport Rand Paul:
http://barefootandprogressive.blogspot.com/2011/0

Diabeetis June 2, 2011 at 2:27 pm

I think a lot of them are just claiming to be libertarian because "conservative" has such a slightly tarnished reputation now.

SayItWithWookies June 2, 2011 at 1:27 pm

Rights are for corporations, as The LORD intended. People, with their needs such as food and medical care, just get in the way of commerce.

Goonemeritus June 2, 2011 at 1:12 pm

Got to go with Joe on this, the Tea Party should stand firm against anyone that won’t protect America from the evils of fluoridation.

privatejoker77 June 2, 2011 at 1:16 pm

Time to pop some more popcorn. This is going to be a hoot.

weejee June 2, 2011 at 1:16 pm

And thinks you can use WhiteOut to remove the grooves in your brake disks.

Tundra Grifter June 2, 2011 at 2:43 pm

weejee: Did you ever see the movie "School for Scoundrels?" There's a scene at the beginning where a used car salesman is painting treads on a tire.

SilverTsunami June 2, 2011 at 1:17 pm

"says Greasy Joe in some press release sent to Wonkette for some reason."

Some reason? Because they love you!

lowaltflier June 2, 2011 at 1:17 pm

If the Rainbow flag turns me Gay. I think I’ve found the antidote. Just look at that picture

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

KeepFnThatChicken June 2, 2011 at 1:19 pm

Romney has flipped more than John Kerry flopped.

Two things. First, Kerry? Really?! Other than his Senate seat, he's not running for anything else. Cheap shots are really unnecessary — but they do reinforce and illustrate the demographic that buys his horseshit.

Second, I hearken back to the 2004 Repugnican Convention. Dubya would invoke Kerry, and the crowd would yell "Sieg! Heil!" "Flip! Flop! Flip! Flop!" I hate that man, just for encouraging those drooling idiots to say those meaningless words — compared to "Where did you say the WMD's were, again, George?".

occams8ball June 2, 2011 at 1:50 pm

I agree. I read an interview with an R delegate after the convention. "My favorite souvenirs were the flip flops and the purple heart band aids." Finally I get to vent.

Poindexter718 June 2, 2011 at 1:19 pm

I quite enjoyed the potshot at Sen. Dole by this swarthy pussy, who somehow managed to lose as the GOP Senate nominee in freaking Alaska. But if you really want to make the point, Joe, may i be so bold as to suggest a slight revision when referring to the distinguished Republican lawmaker and combat veteran: "…we’ll be looking at a repeat of INCONTINENT BORE Bob Dole’s feckless 1996 campaign and a landslide defeat …"

fartknocker June 2, 2011 at 1:20 pm

Joe Miller is also the former candidate who was against all subsidies yet collected $14,000 from the USDA for his farm in Delta Junction, Alaska.
http://www.themudflats.net/2010/09/21/farmer-joe-

Teabagging shithead. Just like the troll downfister bouncing around today.

NorthStarSpanx June 2, 2011 at 1:22 pm

Guess they couldn't rehash Sarah Palin's joke to Alaska Guardsmen in Kuwait about John Kerry having a 'long face,' given that Bristol remodeled her chin.

OC_Surf_Serf June 2, 2011 at 1:33 pm

This comment has been deleted by Joe Miller's thugs.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 2, 2011 at 1:23 pm

So, does this confirm that Mitt Romney is the first black candidate for the Republican nomination?

Fare la Volpe June 2, 2011 at 2:11 pm

He connects so well with the urban youth.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDwwAaVmnf4

weejee June 2, 2011 at 1:26 pm

Miller's first job should be to check on level of the Teatard fuel tank. Can someone give him a match?

genxr June 2, 2011 at 1:26 pm

“We just know that if Mitt Romney wins the nomination, we’ll be looking at a repeat of Joe Miller’s feckless 2010 campaign and a landslide defeat.”

/fixed

Redhead June 2, 2011 at 1:29 pm

As far as not endorsing Palin – the Constitution also didn't give women the right to vote, so at least they're consistent on THAT point.

Crank_Tango June 2, 2011 at 1:30 pm

well one thing Joe Miller is not is feckless.

He has a lot of feck–he's the biggest feckin tool around.

ttommyunger June 3, 2011 at 12:42 pm

Fecken – A!

Terry June 2, 2011 at 1:37 pm

At times like these, I could almost feel sorry for Romney…..but his shameless running from most things he stood for while governor really prevents any sympathy from developing. Mitt has been trying to court the loonies and this is what comes of that.

user-of-owls June 2, 2011 at 1:38 pm

Coming on RedState:

Send a quadrazillion factorial pairs of flip-flops to the Mormon and the Mick today!

genxr June 2, 2011 at 1:51 pm

Which can be purchased on the RedState Amazon page!

Pres[EXTERMINATE!!] June 2, 2011 at 1:55 pm

1,000,000,000,000,000,000! x 10^23

Mort_Sinclair June 2, 2011 at 1:43 pm

As a Massachusetts liberal, if Miller wants to drive a stake through the heart of the bemittened dog-torturer, I'm pretty much fine with that as long as there's someone right on deck to drive a stake through the heart of that walking arctic tundra-turd Joe Miller.

CapeClod June 2, 2011 at 1:56 pm

You have to be a political genius to win the nomination for the Senate from the dominant political party in your state only to lose the election to a write-in candidate with a comically difficult to spell last name.

Weenus299 June 2, 2011 at 1:58 pm

What does Bob Dole think about this?

proudgrampa June 2, 2011 at 2:24 pm

As a spokesman for Viagra, I'm sure he doesn't feel "feckless."

BarackMyWorld June 2, 2011 at 2:00 pm

"…consistent constitutional conservative…"

Who are they kidding? James Madison himself wouldn't be good enough for these fuckers.

Fare la Volpe June 2, 2011 at 2:12 pm

Of course not. Madison's actually read the damn thing.

DaSandman June 2, 2011 at 2:09 pm

hehe "Greasy Joe" I love it.

Junior's having an excellent day, eh?

bloodandirony June 2, 2011 at 2:20 pm

So Miller plans to deny Mitt the GOP nomination, so he can go on to win a write-in-campaign?

Diabeetis June 2, 2011 at 2:35 pm

Nah, they won't do that. For all their talk about "RINO's" and how pathetic the GOP is, most of them will likely fall in line and vote for whoever get nominated because they're so desperate to vote Obama out of office.

mariser June 2, 2011 at 2:46 pm

"…says Greasy Joe in some press release sent to Wonkette "

THAT. that right there is comedy gold. GOLD

timbo71351 June 2, 2011 at 2:46 pm

This is all you ever have to read about Joe Miller. He got canned for screwing with people's computers while they were on their lunch break.
http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2010/10/26/douchey-j

emmelemm June 2, 2011 at 7:02 pm

OK, I'm just bumping this to the top of "Last Activity" because that link, right there, is fucking comedy gold and everyone needs to read it.

Seriously.

fuflans June 2, 2011 at 2:47 pm

i wish i could give you more P for that.

fuflans June 2, 2011 at 2:50 pm

why does 'lose' mean 'never ever ever shut the fuck up' to republicans???

DahBoner June 2, 2011 at 2:53 pm

"Beloved welfare farmer and shaving opponent Joe Miller (R-Loser) finally has a political job"

Well, he looks a lot like that guy holding the cardboard sign who said he needed a job.

I gave him a Groupon coupon…

Lascauxcaveman June 2, 2011 at 3:08 pm

Interesting, this phenomenon of all the Alaska Tea Baggers being drawn to AZ. It's supports my theory that stupidity is magnetic.

notreelyhelping June 2, 2011 at 3:33 pm

Shh, shh. I know it looks scary, but it's safe to watch from behind the glass.

Allmighty_Manos June 2, 2011 at 4:44 pm

With a guy like Miller there is a fine line between a PAC and a death squad.

lochnessmonster June 2, 2011 at 5:33 pm

What's with all these Alaska grifters coming down to the lower 48 and spewing their opinions all over? I want them to go back to their frozen tundra.

BZ1 June 2, 2011 at 5:45 pm

circular firing squad assembled, ready, aim….

Doktor Zoom June 2, 2011 at 9:35 pm

MST3K's version of "Manos" succeeded in convincing the world that there was indeed a worse movie than Plan 9 From Outer Space

ChapterUndVerse June 3, 2011 at 12:59 am

I think Wonkette Jr. is hitting his/her stride in fine form.

Negropolis June 3, 2011 at 1:10 am

"Taking political advice from Joe Miller is like going to a mechanic."

Fixed. Mechanics are worse than lawyers in my heirarchy of hellish, depraved occupations. Can you tell I've been cheated by mechanics?

ttommyunger June 3, 2011 at 12:46 pm

Kinda makes me wish Joe the Not-A-Plumber was still an item, at least he didn't make me want to head for the shower.

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