At the rate of last month’s dismal job creation, it will take more than 15 years for America to replace the 7 million jobs that vanished in this Great Recession. The awful new job numbers — just 38,000 in May when economists say the country needs at least 244,000 new jobs per month if the United States is to ever climb out of its hole — are the latest sign America is beginning a new brutal phase of the endless crisis.
Yesterday’s home sales data shows that residential real estate values are back down to 2002 levels, a new low in a financial crisis that began with a crash in housing prices. The “downward spiral” has no apparent bottom, and the number of sales is also in rapid decline. It would take three years of steady sales just to clear out the current batch of 1.9 million foreclosures, although millions of new foreclosures are expected to swell this inventory well into 2015, as wages and employment are stagnant and more than 28% of mortgage holders are “underwater,” owing more to lenders than the property is worth today.
U.S. stock-index futures added to their losses Wednesday after data on private-sector employment in May proved to be unexpectedly gloomy. ADP reported that U.S. companies added only 38,000 jobs last month, far below the gain of almost 175,000 expected by analysts.
“The economic numbers continue to disappoint, forcing economists to revise and change forecasts lower in the wake of what appears to be a significant slowdown,” said Kevin Giddis, managing director, fixed-income capital markets at Morgan Keegan.
Manufacturing in the U.S. also suffered the biggest monthly plunge since 1984. [USA Today/Marketwatch]
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Chris Christie managed to add four more helicopter repair people to the ranks of the employed.
And once he eats those (provided he can catch them) he can hire four more.
How many people does Boehner employ to carry his Kleenex?
There's plenty of "follow behind Sarah Palin's bus" jobs.
Except for that you need a journalism degree.
All you really need is a shovel and a bucket.
Eric Cantor to take credit for jobs created to rebuild Joplin, MO.
If Repukes ever do admit the reality of global warming, they'll probably portray the vast increase in violent storm damage as a jobs program: "See, it's a good thing for America!"
Well, at least that's another 38,000 people eligible for $25 in food stamps soon…
Wait, I thought McDonald's already solved this for us?
But, but, but…..the DEFICIT!!!1!
I'd like to apply for the job of collecting the dead: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grbSQ6O6kbs
"Manufacturing in the U.S. also suffered the biggest monthly plunge since 1984."
Hmm… 1984… has an eerie ring to it…
This data is flawed, as it does not count all the jobs created in the independent contractor sector like "scavenger," "panhandler," and "CHUD."
I think that 'CHUD' is more avocation than a job. I mean, how much do you make as a CHUD?
You need to damp the data a bit, one crap month doesn’t mean we all need to start selling our blood.
I'm going on the semen circuit… no cookies but way better videos.
However, our government is no doubt working on a scheme to sell the blood of others.
I am just sad that I did not have the foresight to keep my kidneys pristine. Youth is wasted on, uh, hmmm, on….oh fuck it.
Yeah, but Wonkette's bringing in a new writer or two, so Ken's doing his part! Now if we could just figure out how to monetize all our comments…
AL Qaeda always has openings. The job is a blast and the benefits are heavenly.
Yeah but, on the bright side…..umm…
uhhhhhhh…..
Shit I got nuthin'
Well, with the end of food stamps, maybe the resulting Republican-induced "famine" will successfully weed out the ranks of the unemployed so that we really won't need to create that many jobs.
Yes, just like Stalin and the Ukraine…
This will all be fixed by the Republicans refusing to pay our debt.
It would take three years of steady sales just to clear out the current batch of 1.9 million foreclosures, although millions of new foreclosures are expected to swell this inventory well into 2015…
Gee it's a good thing we didn't pass those cramdown laws. Thanks, Repubs, you really helped us dodge a bullet there.
I think we need to take another census.
Yeah. And this time drag the jobs out as long as possible: double and triple counting each household, double and triple checking the equasions, etc. Hell, hiring people to train SPSS use could make the gigs last until at least 2015.
I read that…..I'm going to pretend it was all about puppies frolicing in flowers.
And that was this week's edition of "Ken's Cynical Update."
More like, "I glanced at the business news front pages this morning."
Nice. Btw, how's the Wonkette Jr. Lottery going?
Let's see, if we do the maths if we keep this up it will only take 15.25 years to make-up for those lost jobz. Oh and that is assuming no growth in the size of the work force, which would be the case if all the Boomers stayed faithfully on the pill or submitted to vasectomies throughout their child bearing/rearing age. They didn't, well poop, say maybe 30 years.
But Ken, lookie who's hiring!
Yeah, actually, you weren't as apologetically scolding and despairing as usual. I'm a bit worried. What if ennui has set in?
Anyone but me wouldn't be surprised if the invisible hand of a conservative asshole, (Boner), maybe had a little chit chat with the "jawb creators" and told them to maybe hold off on all that hirin' until they can get rid of the black guy, blame it all on him, and then credit "conservative fiscal policies" for the recovery?
Ken, that post was not very funny at all.
Eric Cantor would probably laughed at it. Well, more like cackle maniacally at it.
Next time post a picture of dead kittens with your story, Ken. It'll help to really slam it down.
I created a job last week! I hired a new part time housekeeper at my hotel! An adult white American female, (from Texas, of all places).
Four-hour shifts at $9/hr, let's see, that makes, uh… that makes me a thriving engine of economic recovery!
Until October, when business gets slow and I have to lay her off
Hey, that's more than minimum wage! Why so generous???
Because, by golly, they're worth it!
Actually, every housekeeper I've ever had I've bumped up to $10/hr by the second paycheck. I let them know I expect fast, meticulous work, and if they're not earning the ten bucks, maybe they should think about some other job? We have to turn those rooms around PDQ in the summer tourist season. I'm also a very good trainer, having done the same work myself for the past seven years.
So, you got a big tax cut, huh?
How long until Westboro Baptist connects the dots between no jobs and the gays?
Teh gheys maxed out their D&G credit cards, thus leading to a cascading effect of failures in lovely little bistros, small but gorgeous apartments in Manhattan and SF, and fabulousness more generally.
God Hates Jobs!
Thank God for Unemployment!
Today's WaPo says the KKK is protesting the Westboro Baptists.
HuddleMass says, Wut?
cookoos say what?
Well thank goodness repugs are creating jobs, as promised in their various campaigns last fall, by restricting abortion rights, ending Medicare, outlawing unions, destroying social services……
The only way to create jobs is to slash taxes for the rich and slash food stamps for the poor. Oh, and make sure evolution is never taught in school again. And no more rap music. And more lard. Now.
Don't forget persecuting the gays and keeping women pregnant and shutting down schools.
And endless, endless war, because democracy, 9-11, and whatever
And small government! Unless your donors want a contract.
um, helloooo abortion???? all those dead fetuses would have created all those jobs.
didn't someone running for president actually say this? so much winuttery, so few extant brain cells.
Yes, both Rick Santorum and Bryan Fischer have made this sort of argument with straight faces. Basically, I have to agree. And if you include all those who have died through smoking-related illness, the stakes become even higher. Why we would all be millionaires and have to pay zero in taxes! How can we get the Bachmann/Palin campaigns to use this approach during the upcoming debates?
If smoking kills, explain Boner.
Suddenly I feel just really super about my dead-end, soul-erasing stultifying job and the shitty squalid basement room I live and drink in in a crappy DC suburb. Thanks, Ken!
for what it's worth, I live in a garage in a shitty DC suburb. For the rent I pay, I could get a two bedroom house in Portland and have leftover money for (socialist) strippers and microbrew.
Garage and Basement Renters of the World Unite!
It's the perfect time for the Republican governors to lay off a whole shitload of state workers to fund tax cuts for the rich! That makes jobs, because of magic.
Since we can't have any goverment spending and industry won't invest, it's all the fault of you filthy working class stiffs for not buying enough (on credit) and propping up the third leg of GNP.
Why do you all hate America?
Viagra for the Economy? Is there enough?
OMG…are things so bad that Ken can't even afford to buy decent snark anymore?
I'm scared. Hold me.
Hmmmm. For a buck? That way you can say you created a job.
Well, thank Jeebus we have cut taxes for corporations and the rich. We are in heady days.
Don't fret… once we get Soylint Green production ramped up to 100,000 tons a month you'll see how issues of labor supply and demand just seem to fix themselves automatically!
Florida has this right:
1. Eliminate licenses to become any number of professions
2. Anyone can claim to be of whatever profession they want. Instant job! Today I decided to bill myself as a Freelance Blog Commenter. You're welcome, America.
*raises hand*
Is Federal Breast Inspector taken?
I think the proper job title is "Bullshit Artist."
Moving right now to Florida to pursue my dream of opening a chain of eye-surgery clinics. If you have eyes, I will operate on them. Substantial discounts for all Wonkette commentators available.
But….., We cut taxes, didn't we?
The Republicans are jealous of this achievement by Stalin in the Ukraine, they want to be number one! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holodomor
This is good news for the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse!
Three horsemen. Pestilence got laid off yesterday.
I'd hate to see the fix we'd be in if those tax cuts for the rich, er, the JOB CREATORS, hadn't been extended.
And in other shocking newz Waldemort can't understand why its US sales won't go up despite it's low low prices.
Maybe of it's help in the rapid outsourcing and driving away the US America manufacturing base to cheaper locales… The real well paying jobs were in the making of shit people needed not McCrap jobs or waiting on rich people or even as part of the economy destroying financial "services" "industry."
Well, downfister is at work today.
I doubt very much that he's at work.
Maybe he/she/it gets paid to do this. That would certainly be contributing to society, eh?
He's probably not paid the big bucks though. The real money is reserved for the asswipes who scan Weiner's twitter followers to find vulnerable young women to bother. Actually there's no money exchanged, sandwich coupons are the main currency. Oh and waterpark discount coupons.
Paid political trolls = urban legend? There was a company called "Netvocate" doing it. But would they dare approach the savage environs of Wonkette? I think NOT!
Economy sucks? Check. Housing market in the toilet? Check. Miniscule job creation? Check. Time to start another war!
Time to take our unique brand of democracy to Canada??
Oh no, something much easier, smaller, and richer, like Monaco. And the invasion force could consist of Lindsey Lohan on a cocaine bender, plus a couple of PMSing Kardashians. Instant coup d'etat.
the latest sign America is beginning a new brutal phase of the endless crisis
I hadn't looked the the byline and assumed this post was the work of Wonkette, Jr. When I read the above it seemed that the new guy(s)/gal(s) had learned their style and substance from Ken Layne.
Oops.
There must be a lot of openings for assfuckers….because they keep bending us all over every chance they get.
There's always jobs for hookers. Maybe get some better looking ones round here.
I was just listening to a bit of Neal Boortz at lunch, so I'm pretty convinced that this is the fault of rich people's taxes being too high.
1. The Infrastructure Report Card is not getting any better.
2. The heaviest hit in job losses are manufacturing (jobz not coming back) & construction.
3. Spending on deferred public infrastructure maintenance will create jobz right where they are needed.
4. The GeeOhPee is playing gotcha with the debt ceiling instead of working on jobz.
2012 can 'Murica remember?
I just got word that there are layoffs happening here and we have a department meeting tomorrow. It's interesting that at the last compnay wide meeting we had the CEO said we had planty of cash. Must be bonus time at the top.
layoffs happening here and we have a department meeting tomorrow
Ugh, that sentence sent chills up my spine. Please post an update tomorrow. This rings too eerily familiar. I don't like to borrow others' troubles but I hope the outcome prognosticized here isn't too severe.
What happened to the master plan to kill the poor? Wasn't it Jello Biafra who was organizing that? I mean, why should we send them $$ to loaf around, when we need that money to pay for our wars and stuff? Can't we just spike their kool aid? And then the ones who take longer to die can burn all the bodies and whatever? I mean gawd, when's all this negativity gonna end?
are the latest sign America is beginning a new brutal phase of the endless crisis
Um . . . I believe by "new brutal phase" you mean "turned a corner," thank you very much. Like in Iraq! And, like Iraq, the job market has more corners than a 12-sided die.
We've known for some time that our personal debt (including outlandish mortgages) were at levels beyond our ability to pay for some time. No surprise there. In fact, had it not been for the stupid refinancing — which included pesky things like "interest only" or "variable rate" — we would probably still be over-paying for our domiciles.
Let the bargains keep coming. If I hear that old axiom about "the market will bear" correctly, we'll start buying homes again as soon as we can fucking afford them.
Goddamn bankers and their counterintuitive logic.
I hope those numbers don't include the hand and blow sectors.
How entrepreneurial of you.
See, that is what it takes. Every body giving it how they can. You and your wife are true Americans.
Not true. Neither of us has ended up wedged in the doorway to a fast-food place, so we cannot claim to be True Americans(r)/(tm).
well now i don't feel so bad about not being employed full time.
thanks ken!
And those new jobs aren't as well paid or have the benefits of the jobs that were lost. But we have FREEDUMS!!
I'm pretty sure that the Freedom the GOP is talking about is the Freedom that Tyler Durden talked about.
"It's only when you've lost everything that you're free to do anything"
And by anything, we mean eat CHEEZEBALLZ all day until they start giving health tests to food stamp recipients and the unemployed in order to determine if you can even get them to begin with.
And then they'll do literacy tests.
And then…darkness.
One-plank platform: Sell Texas to China and use the proceeds to fund massive public sector hiring in the rest of the country, rehire teachers, build trains, solar farms, etc.
Nice idea, but Texas is maybe worth about as much as we already owe China, so financially it's a wash. On the plus side, we'd be rid of Texas.
Yeah, we're fucking doomed. Hey buddy, can you spare a dime?
The bad news: 13.7 million unemployed in the US, as of April 2011 and I am one of them.
The good news: I'm not alone in begging for hobo beans and at least I can snark on Wonkette…. OK, now I am really depressed.
It's selfish and short-sighted, but at the moment all I care about is whether or not one of those jobs created is one that I can have.
Just how far do the Repugs think they can push the poors before they start feeling a knife in their ribs? This is not looking good.
What problem? Many of these people are about to be old, and therefore expensive to hire and insure, with many ailments, so the death rate among the jobless will go up, thus alleviating the situation, especially after the tea baggers sink Medicare and Social Security. As the affluent don't require either, this proves that these are expendable programs. The real problem is making sure all those anchor babies don't take the 2 new jobs opening each quarter.
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