PUT HIM IN GITMO  7:20 pm May 30, 2011

Andrew Breitbart Wants You To See His Weiner Picture

by Wonkette Jr.

It's not Breitbart, because you can see over the belly.While we innocently pre-pre-gamed for Memorial Day barbecues, furious conspiracy nut Andrew Breitbart was saving the world, AGAIN. “Someone” broke into Rep. Anthony Weiner’s Twitter account and posted a picture of a wiener (get it??) and then Breitbart’s AARP version of 4chan “grabbed hold” of the dong picture before it was deleted, to prove once and for all that Anthony Weiner has a Twitter account capable of being hacked. UPDATE: Oh, some wingnut Twitter guy did this whole dumb stunt, and then made his Twitter private. Gah, Twitter.

A photo of a man’s bulging gray boxer-brief underwear was posted to Weiner’s account with yfrog — an online image-sharing site — on Saturday night, according to biggovernment.com, which is run by Andrew Breitbart. The photograph is from the waist down, and shows no face.

“The wiener gags never get old, I guess, ” the veteran lawmaker emailed a POLITICO reporter in response on Saturday.

Breitbart named it “Weinergate,” because that was the best dick joke he could come up with. Basically it’s just like that “Watergate” thing back from when real journalists like Andrew Breitbart still existed.

Has anyone bothered to thank Andrew Breitbart for this Earth-saving revelation that there are erect penises in gray boxer shorts on the Internet? Doesn’t everybody know what Andrew Breitbart just did for America? There was a picture of a disembodied wiener on a mild-mannered Congressman’s Twitter feed! This is like six Mark Foleys plus eight Larry Craigs.

[POLITICO]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 246 comments }

horsedreamer_1 May 30, 2011 at 7:24 pm

FAKE! Not circumcised.

anniegetyerfun May 30, 2011 at 7:42 pm

I was going to suggest that it was Breitbart's penis in that photo, but then I realized that it is about six times too large.

bumfug May 30, 2011 at 8:07 pm

As big a drunk as Andy is, that's what he considers a raging boner.

C_R_Eature May 30, 2011 at 8:09 pm

* Brietbart whips out a photo of his dong *

"Andy! That looks just like a Penis. But smaller!"

blogslut May 30, 2011 at 8:32 pm

Plus, no skid marks. Also.

facehead May 30, 2011 at 9:27 pm

I DEMAND TO SEE AN EXTREMELY LONG FORM BRIS CERTIFICATE!!!

WHERE IS DONALD TRUMP WHEN HIS NATION NEEDS HIM MOST?!?!!!!!

FEMALE CIRCUMCISION WAS AN INSIDE JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

horsedreamer_1 May 30, 2011 at 11:43 pm

The third line kills it. Many upfists for that.

Texan_Bulldog May 30, 2011 at 7:26 pm

Oh geez. Andy needs to drink himself to death already.

Pragmatist2 May 30, 2011 at 9:22 pm

He already did. Didn't help.

fuflans May 30, 2011 at 11:49 pm

or get laid.

if anyone would…

Lascauxcaveman May 31, 2011 at 2:00 am

Riley, where are you? The man is hurting.

HistoriCat May 31, 2011 at 10:18 am

Riley is still suffering PTSD from that humping Breitbart gave him.

Swampgas_Man May 31, 2011 at 6:30 pm

Like a brave soldier throwing himself on a live grenade to save his comrades.

SexySmurf May 30, 2011 at 7:28 pm

That's it? If you made a list of the 100 dirtiest pictures I've seen on the internet today, that image wouldn't be on it.

Trollina Dumbass May 30, 2011 at 7:34 pm

I don't even think this even registers as titillating for an American Apparel ad.

DaRooster May 30, 2011 at 7:53 pm

I can bid 101… (got the day off…)

flamingpdog May 30, 2011 at 9:04 pm

There's dirty pictures on the internet?

Arken May 30, 2011 at 9:10 pm

There's anything else but?

FrenchTwist40 May 31, 2011 at 1:18 am

Have you forgotten the Kitteh pictures? In fact, I just posted a tweeted a picture of Andrew Breitbart's gray underpants where you can clearly see the outline of the Kitteh.

littlebigdaddy May 31, 2011 at 12:47 pm

S.S. I just passed half a glass of chardonnay through my nose. Thanks alot.

TheMeatmaker June 1, 2011 at 11:37 pm

Can you send me your browsing history?

Barb May 30, 2011 at 7:28 pm

Nice undies. All I see is a hint of acorn in the shot and one big ACORN hater in Andrew.

tribbzthesquidz May 30, 2011 at 10:37 pm

I've been meaning to say thanks for the 'follow' back. Most of the cool kids here don't do that. It does make my day when I get a follerer and I OnlyHaveElevenAndTwoOfThemAreTrollsJeezus. I would like to toast/masturbate to my having been reverse-sloganeering but mostly writer's-blocking at the Wonkette for roughly a year now. I wondered over here from Joan Walsh's blog and felt at home right away. "Like or favorite my comment. It really helps me out."

Barb May 30, 2011 at 10:52 pm

Dude, you ARE one of the cool kids. Thanks for being here with us. Jump in and tell us what's on your mind.

chilequiles May 31, 2011 at 3:17 am

The thing I don't get is the silky-smooth legs attached to that wang. it's like… omg u guyz.. it's all so clear now. rep weiner Nairs his legs!! That's the real scandal.

One_who_wanders May 30, 2011 at 7:29 pm

Oh, please. Not that.

glamourdammerung May 30, 2011 at 7:30 pm

Great, picking on the mentally crippled is going to make the Trig Screw morons pop of out the proverbial woodwork.

chascates May 30, 2011 at 7:32 pm

Apropos of something, what should be the punishment for editing videos, images, and emails to incite the wingnuts?

glamourdammerung May 30, 2011 at 7:35 pm

Or hacking an elected official's Twitter account?

Oh wait, I know the answer to that.

mumbly_joe May 30, 2011 at 8:02 pm

I'm pretty sure that's different, because it was some nobody teenager, instead of a prolific smear-artist, who guessed a password, instead of condicting an actual attack on an account, and who actually uncovered evidence of wrongdoing (conducting business on a personal account to avoid record-keeping requirements), instead of simply committing malicious libel.

Also, and most importantly, Lou Sarah is a right-winger, and pretty, if you're retarded.

mumbly_joe May 30, 2011 at 8:06 pm

Well, that was completely different though:

*That was some nobody teenager, not a prolific smear-merchant.

*That kid just guessed a password, instead of conducting an actual attack.

*The kid actually revealed evidence of wrongdoing (conducting state business on a private account to skirt accountability requirements), instead of simply committing malicious libel.

And most importantly, Lou Sarah is a right-winger and perennial victim, and so that dumb teenager was a one-teenager liberal conspiracy, whereas any criticism of Andrew Breitbart is INN-U-ENDO and GUILT BY ASSOCIATION, not to mention THE REAL RACISM.

AJWjr. May 30, 2011 at 9:47 pm

We all knew there had to be some way in which $arah could be revealed as the one true victim, here.

mumbly_joe May 30, 2011 at 10:07 pm

Blood Libel!

Cicada May 30, 2011 at 8:46 pm

Little Andy should be laughed out of polite society and forced to live with the idiots who worship him. I bet he'd kill himself within the week.

Rotundo_ May 30, 2011 at 10:06 pm

Isn't his existence punishment enough? Fat drunk and stupid is no way to go through life. In Andy's case, I couldn't think of a worse curse than to hope he remains the drunk, bitter fucked-up little toad that he is. He doesn't have much more credibility left to hemorrhage, a few more lawsuits and even the people moneying him up will grow tired at the amateurish shit and shut him down. Drunken destroyed political clown operative doesn't sound like a kind fate to me.

JTP93 May 30, 2011 at 9:31 pm

It's ok to lie if it furthers the religion. And there is apparently no punishment for a man being that exposed (according to my 10-minute degree in Sharia law from Google U).

horsedreamer_1 May 30, 2011 at 11:53 pm

The punishment should be having to leave the ensconcement in Los Angeles & actually live amongst the aggrieved, lower-middle-class, SSDI-receiving, white people he incites. & I don't just mean Riverside, Calif. Send that rotund, unshaven, alcoholic to the Tennessee Valley.

Though, as someone on this very site once pointed out, how much of a punishment would that be? Actually, quite a lot. While Fox News extols the silent majority & rock-ribbed American values, & excoriates the New York liberal Jews (Soros) who are keeping the salt of the earth down, where is Fox? In New York City. Where do the reporters & executives live? If not NYC, then New Jersey or Connecticut.

Of course, as was also pointed out on this site, nothing could have stopped Fox from basing out of Jackson, Miss., say — why, look at CNN, started in Atlanta in 1978 or '79, before ATL was anything, really — but they didn't. Why? Well, they want to reap the resources they scorn. Ailes likes the theatre. He likes musea. He likes culture that is more than a Toby Keith jingle.

So, too, Breitbart. (I mean, he's an alcoholic, but what's his drink? Wine. (Wake up, sheeple!)) & sticking him amongst the teeming uncultured would just about kill him.

mumbly_joe May 30, 2011 at 7:33 pm

Oh yeah, and for extra LULZ, Breitbart and co. have decided to strongly imply that one of Rep. Weiner's twitter followers, some 21-year-old girl in Seattle, was the intended recipient. Because Breitbart is just so CLASSY that he would go out of his way to implicate some random stranger in his smear campaign while he's at it.

The good news is, Rep. Weiner has decided to retain counsel to assess his options, since this incident is obviously at least tortuous, and probably criminal, also, too. People really need to start bringing down the hammer on these asshats.

Snarkless, because I really just want to see Breitbart sued and jailed, or at least punched in the face, repeatedly.

dr_giraud May 30, 2011 at 7:41 pm

And the assorted bright lights of the aging drool-o-sphere ran with it. Some even reposted the 21-year-old's denial, which made them, improbably, seem even more stupid than usual. I am of The Olds, but know that when one of The Youngs sez "my boyfriend Anthony Weiner," they do not mean they are actually Going Steady or whatever the kids call fucking these days.

Hopefull they fucked with the wrong weiner this time.

Jukesgrrl May 30, 2011 at 9:43 pm

Ya got that right — my 85-year old mother calls Rep. Weiner "my boyfriend Anthony" on a regular basis. She goes on message boards with him, sends him E-mails admiring his righteous hatred of Clarence Thomas, and signs every petition he sends her. I fully expect her to announce a Twitter account before long so she can get read his Tweets, even though she's not really sure what Tweets are.

Personally, I wouldn't trade him for my husband, Bernie Sanders.

Nothingisamiss May 30, 2011 at 10:08 pm

Jukesgrrl, how I envy you. My mother is right now praying that I turn and listen to Beck and Bill so I can be prepared when the end comes.

Speaking of coming, my boyfriend Anthony Weiner should sue the shit outta Breitbart.

the_problem_child May 30, 2011 at 10:13 pm

Waddayamean YOUR boyfriend? Weiner's my twitter boyfriend. (Don't tell my other internet boyfriend, Al Franken.)

Jukesgrrl May 31, 2011 at 12:07 am

Yes, I'm lucky in that. And I know it, since my late father never met a "law 'n order" man he didn't like — he even made excuses for Spiro Agnew. I don't know how my mother put up with him.

finallyhappy May 31, 2011 at 6:41 am

I usually say "my pretend boyfriend" so in case my husband reads it- he doesn't think Hugh Jackman is actually dating me

ChessieNefercat May 31, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Wiping the monitor (squeesqueesquee)…

C_R_Eature May 30, 2011 at 8:34 pm

Some very evil part of me wishes that Britey ends up like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWLByMshYIU

Terry May 30, 2011 at 9:13 pm

The same fate to a slew of Brietbarters, too.

Negropolis May 30, 2011 at 9:46 pm

because I really just want to see Breitbart sued and jailed, or at least punched in the face, repeatedly.

Luckily for you, these things don't have to be mutually exclusive. Hell, in jail, he'll have the opportunity of getting punched in more than just the face, and with more than just a fist…the possibilities are endless!

AJWjr. May 30, 2011 at 9:52 pm

Are you suggesting he be up-or down-fisted in his fartbox?

Negropolis May 30, 2011 at 10:03 pm

Yes.

Doktor Zoom May 30, 2011 at 10:27 pm

Repeatedly.

mrblifil May 31, 2011 at 8:37 pm

He sticks his wrists
Up to his fists
And still insists
Fritz won't have cysts

That's an old tongue twister I learned as a vocal warm up…

Doktor Zoom May 30, 2011 at 10:15 pm

RedState has this insight: First, he posted three hours before the alleged hack post, and four minutes after. This means he somehow wrested control back from the hackers quickly. How is this possible?

That, or his account was hacked while he was using it, and he never detected the intrusion. My email got infected by a botnet that happily sent spam email to everyone in my contact list, even as I continued to use it normally.

Gotta love these geniuses who think they're detectives. CSI: Internets.

Edit: According to DailyKos, the whole thing may be a hoax–no actual hacking involved. It'll be interesting to see how this plays out. Needless to say, Breitbard is still as credible as he ever was.

HistoriCat May 31, 2011 at 10:24 am

Breitbart involved in a hoax? Why I never! That's an insult to his reputa – oh fuck it. Snark is meaningless. How many times does that asshole need to be caught with his hand in the cookie jar before people stop taking him seriously?

ChessieNefercat May 31, 2011 at 2:33 pm

"How many times does that asshole need to be caught with his hand in the cookie jar before people stop taking him seriously?"

How many times does that asshole need to be caught with his hand in the cookie jar before someone puts a scorpion in a pissy mood, a rattrap, and a couple of black widow spiders in it?

There. I would accept people still taking him seriously under these conditions.

Texan_Bulldog May 30, 2011 at 7:35 pm

Andy's a little too fixated on Anthony's weiner…a man doesn't stay as drunk and bitter as Andy without some internal battles going on.

mumbly_joe May 30, 2011 at 7:51 pm

Hey! I resemble that remark!

The drunk and bitter part, I mean. Just to be clear.

Texan_Bulldog May 30, 2011 at 9:59 pm

Don't we all? We just don't like to take down innocents with us.

DaRooster May 30, 2011 at 7:54 pm

Oh… and "douche-like…"

Bonzos_Bed_Time May 31, 2011 at 1:16 am

Yes, we all miss Riley, can we please change the conversation to something a little less painful.

Oblios_Cap May 31, 2011 at 8:38 am

Andy is obviously a two-timing dirtbag.

This is good news for Wags.

wehojoel May 30, 2011 at 7:36 pm

With my bad luck I am forced to listen to a local radio station at work that airs FoxNews and they ran this story on Fox News Radio every hour. Well the ran the story pretty much saying it was a Weiner Bulge and little to discredit it.

Terry May 30, 2011 at 9:14 pm

Maybe Rep. Weiner can sue Fox, too.

finallyhappy May 31, 2011 at 6:44 am

I know it was a Memorial day Parade and I stood up for the flag and veterans(my last uncle died last year- I had 6 uncles and a dad who were WWII vets- and I got weepy when the WWI vets went by- but I digress) and applauded the scouts and marching bands- but when the WMAL truck went by- advertising hannity and limbaugh- I hissed- loudly.

Trollina Dumbass May 30, 2011 at 7:39 pm

Is this how Bibi is going to take down the "liberal" "media" or has he just decided to be assholish as he purports them to be?

SexySmurf May 30, 2011 at 7:40 pm

Just wait until Breitbart finds out about Chatroulette…

horsedreamer_1 May 30, 2011 at 11:56 pm

I call it SHAWH RU LAY. Sounds classier.

littlebigdaddy May 31, 2011 at 12:51 pm

Oh, I think he has.

x111e7thst May 30, 2011 at 7:40 pm

Sour grapes on Little Andy's part.

Ducksworthy May 31, 2011 at 11:29 am

Penis envy.

Gleem_McShineys May 31, 2011 at 3:10 pm

Sour grapes on Andy's Little part.

Please!!
NO FURTHER ALLUSIONS WHATSOEVER TO THE TASTE OR COLOR OF ANDREW BREITBART'S BALLSACK

mumbly_joe May 31, 2011 at 3:30 pm

Not to pick at the low-hanging fruit here, but what about general shape and structure?

anniegetyerfun May 30, 2011 at 7:40 pm

What would the shariah punishment be for a man posting photos of cloth-covered, bulging member? How do these people even come up with these questions? Is Anthony Weiner a seekrit muzlin, or trying to institute shariah law? Is Breitbart just in the habit of wondering how various legal systems mete out punishment?

How would the motherfucking samurai have dealt with a woodblock print of a rigid penis under a yukata? That's about as logical a question.

x111e7thst May 30, 2011 at 7:46 pm
anniegetyerfun May 30, 2011 at 7:49 pm

I can't decide if I should thank you or curse you. Both?

mumbly_joe May 30, 2011 at 8:12 pm

Honestly, I'm trying to figure out how that twat could not be interpreted as Andrew Breitbart advocating Sharia law. Unless…

ZOMG Frank Gaffney wuz right and there totally is a poorly-thought-out Muslin conspiracy to infiltrate the super-bigoted far-right. And Breitbart is in on it, despite copious evidence that he's horrendously bigoted in every possible way (Pass it on!)

tribbzthesquidz May 30, 2011 at 8:15 pm

I wonder which Shararah law Andrew violates by uploading his castration complex to the internets?

elfgoldsackring May 30, 2011 at 9:02 pm

fap fap fap fap fap fap?

Doktor Zoom May 30, 2011 at 10:34 pm

"Is Anthony Weiner a seekrit muzlin, or trying to institute shariah law?"

All liberals are de facto advocates of sharia law, apparently because we suggest that rounding up all Muslins in the US is sort of a dumb idea. (Look! I just did it RIGHT THERE!!!!)

mumbly_joe May 30, 2011 at 11:15 pm

You know who ELSE was a media personality obsessed with swarthy foreigns of several sorts, and their spreading various legal systems and/or penes??

Doktor Zoom May 30, 2011 at 11:35 pm

Henry Ford?

Mel Gibson?

(I forget–is it against the rules of this game to include 2 guesses in a single post?)

anniegetyerfun May 31, 2011 at 1:06 am

Silvio Berlusconi?

Too soon?

zhubajie May 31, 2011 at 4:37 am

Since there are at least 4 schools of Islamic law, and it's all a matter of intellectual debate anyway, I'm sure that there are multiple opinions. Perhaps the majority would think that Breitbart and Weiner are non-Muslims and it doesn't apply to them.

Take it up with rabbis, B., I'm sure there will be many opinions.

glamourdammerung May 30, 2011 at 7:41 pm

So, more importantly, since the Breitards are going to claim this is real even after it gets thoroughly discredited like the WTC inside job nonsense, Obama's birth certificate, etc. what are we supposed to call them?

Cicada May 30, 2011 at 8:19 pm

Weinerbaters?

mumbly_joe May 30, 2011 at 8:52 pm

Let's see, if they're joining the ranks of the Truthers, Deathers, Birthers, other Deathers… maybe we can call them a bunch of Fuckers?

Doktor Zoom May 30, 2011 at 10:34 pm

A bag of poison dicks?

easynews May 31, 2011 at 4:11 am

Kochers?

ProgressiveInga May 30, 2011 at 8:53 pm

Don't know what to call them, but it sounds like wiener libel to me.

C_R_Eature May 30, 2011 at 8:56 pm

"Assholes".

Works for me.

June_Cleaver2.0 May 30, 2011 at 8:59 pm

Peckers.

TanzbodenKoenig May 30, 2011 at 9:30 pm

Crotchers

gurukalehuru May 31, 2011 at 12:39 am

WTC inside job has not been discredited. Not even close.

mumbly_joe May 31, 2011 at 4:42 am

Seriously, just… fuck you.

not that Dewey May 31, 2011 at 8:40 am

Bulgers?

ChessieNefercat May 31, 2011 at 2:41 pm

Weinerers? Weimaraners? Naw, they're cute.

How about pricks? Dicks?

anniegetyerfun May 30, 2011 at 7:43 pm

The wiener gags never get old, I guess.

Wiener… gags… there's a joke there somewhere.

Native_of_SL_UT May 30, 2011 at 7:49 pm

Have you noticed the size of that thing in the pictures? Gag indeed.

anniegetyerfun May 30, 2011 at 8:04 pm

My uvula is aching just looking at it.

mumbly_joe May 30, 2011 at 10:20 pm

I don't see what you guys are talking about; that's just slightly below average size for someone.

Err… right?

anniegetyerfun May 31, 2011 at 1:07 am

Call me.

Cicada May 30, 2011 at 8:24 pm

I wonder if Rep. Weiner felt a pang of regret when he had to deny it was his.

flamingpdog May 30, 2011 at 9:16 pm

Is it just me, or does it look like the "erection" starts somewhere over the right leg, east of the fly, and ends up over the left leg?

anniegetyerfun May 31, 2011 at 1:08 am
flamingpdog May 30, 2011 at 9:18 pm

Do you know why Nixon never succeeded at performing deep throat? He could never get it down Pat.

Maman May 30, 2011 at 7:46 pm

Poor Andrew Breitbart. He is so obsessed with Anthony Weiner's tool that he can't get through a holiday weekend without thinking up dick jokes. Can someone please direct him to the Trevor Project already. His closet seems to be getting really small.

poorgradstudent May 30, 2011 at 7:48 pm

The thing about Andrew Breitbart is that he's not even a halfway competent huckster. I mean, for Trig's sake, who'd post incriminating photos of themselves right on Twitter? Even Senator Diaperman Vitter isn't that crazy!

I hope it turns out that Breitbart was all along some kind of liberal agent provocateur, or else we'll all have to cope with the fact that even the quality of America's shitheels has gone down since the '70s.

pinkocommi May 30, 2011 at 7:51 pm

Breitbart proves once again: The bigger the dick, the smaller the cojones.

easynews May 30, 2011 at 7:52 pm

Well, Mr. Breitfart, let's see what your Christian beliefs say about you:

Psalm 101:5 Whoever secretly slanders his neighbor, Him I will destroy; The one who has a haughty look and a proud heart, Him I will not endure.

Interesting….

anniegetyerfun May 30, 2011 at 8:00 pm

"Haughty" is about as apt a description of that face as I could come up with.

mumbly_joe May 30, 2011 at 8:13 pm

Also, I could swear there was something about bearing false witness something something.

102415 May 31, 2011 at 1:14 am

He's an atheist. It's his nut bag followers that claim to be religious.

easynews May 31, 2011 at 4:09 am

Doh! I actually went to his TV site this weekend. Ick. Along with our troll, there is a rabid entity who claims to be a Catholic nun. The thinly veiled racism and outright hatred of the First Family is palpable amidst the cheers of "God bless you, Sarah." Plenty of shameful hypocrisy to be found there.

finallyhappy May 31, 2011 at 6:46 am

The Psalms were written by David and some say he and Jonathan might have been – well- you know.

DrunkenPalmetto May 30, 2011 at 7:55 pm

I always knew Breitbart was hot for Jewish meat.

Oblios_Cap May 31, 2011 at 8:40 am

But do the Jooz call it "porking"?

CapeClod May 30, 2011 at 7:55 pm

Well done, Andy. Good thing you tried to pull off the scam over the Memorial Day weekend when everyone is riveted to the internet.

DaRooster May 30, 2011 at 7:58 pm

“The wiener gags never get old, I guess…"

Breitbart cannot find enough wiener for gagging.

HempDogbane May 30, 2011 at 8:04 pm

Apropos of not much.

Oblios_Cap May 31, 2011 at 11:17 am

This must be the "man on dong" action that Santroum was talking about.

bumfug May 30, 2011 at 8:04 pm

The picture was apparently taken at a party where Weiner was helping Shirley Sherrod train pimps and hoes at the Acorn office.

Cicada May 30, 2011 at 8:11 pm

I thought it was at the after party at Planned Parenthood, where all the underage hos were given taxpayer-funded abortions.

ProgressiveInga May 30, 2011 at 8:55 pm

Needs moar dildo's (not sure of the plural for dildo. dildoes? dildae? dildi?) Yeah, not sure.

mumbly_joe May 30, 2011 at 10:10 pm

ACORN always did throw the best Pimps & Hoes parties.

GhostBuggy May 30, 2011 at 8:12 pm

Wait, wait, wait. Riley disappears, and all of a sudden, Breitbart is drawing attention to online pics of some dude's junk he just happened to run across? I don't like where this is going.

Or do I?

littlebigdaddy May 31, 2011 at 12:54 pm

Hate to say it, but I don't think Riley is that well endowed. Plus, I imagine him wearing boxers with Daffy Duck or racecars.

RadioJr. May 30, 2011 at 8:13 pm

It makes you wonder what's in store for 9/11/11. Ooh, it's gonna be BIG!!11

deanbooth May 30, 2011 at 8:19 pm

I got nothin'.

drrty_martini May 30, 2011 at 8:42 pm

I rise and sing hosannas in your name.

ProgressiveInga May 30, 2011 at 8:57 pm

Hey! Watch it, db.

starfanglednut May 30, 2011 at 9:49 pm

fabulous.

FrenchTwist40 May 31, 2011 at 12:25 am

Sheer genius. Now give it Steve Buscemi eyes?

GuyClinch May 30, 2011 at 8:26 pm

Anthony and the Johnson.

tribbzthesquidz May 30, 2011 at 8:27 pm

Witty tweet there. It's always more sad than funny when the Not Funny being not funny is still not funny.

GuyClinch May 30, 2011 at 8:27 pm

So what? So Breitbart follows Abercrombie & Fitch ad rollouts.

GuyClinch May 30, 2011 at 8:28 pm

Surely Andrew has already bought URL BigWeiner.com.

GuyClinch May 30, 2011 at 8:29 pm

Breitbart's new expose' site: BigEnvy.com

Isyaignert May 31, 2011 at 6:57 pm

Don't call me Shirley.

Veritas78 May 30, 2011 at 8:39 pm

This has Riley and Jack all over it. Because only they would even know HOW to post something to Weiner's Twitter with Breitbart's fingerprints on it, knowing that Breitbart is obsessively stalking Weiner and will see it. Plus, that's Riley's brand, so Jack must have taken the picture. QED, you're welcome.

GuyClinch May 30, 2011 at 8:40 pm

Downfister can't believe his luck: weiner pic in open browser window plus open tube of dollar-store lube (that he shoplifted). Give your one pair of socks a break, pal! The washer on your porch hasn't worked since 1998.

C_R_Eature May 30, 2011 at 8:45 pm

Just remember, Downfisty dear:

Nice boys don't leave Jiz on Mommy's keyboard.

You're Welcome.

Ken Cuccinelli May 30, 2011 at 8:42 pm

I love that you can almost perfectly predict how this will play out over the next week. Hey Andy, congratulations on that parlor trick, with the video, that one time. You really had us going for a while, and by "us" I mean "people who were predisposed towards your racist bullshit anyway". Now everyone knows you're a fraud, and can go back to pretending they didn't willingly get snookered by you. Here's a "pro tip" as the kiddies call it: You probably picked on the wrong guy. Have fun with this one, it's gonna be a doozy.

Anyway, I can't wait until we find out who it was that pulled off the genius feat of guessing someone's TwitPic password. Which Internet conservative archetype will it be? 800-pound diabeetus shut-in on government assistance, or college-dropout libertarian douche who's "good with computers"?

C_R_Eature May 30, 2011 at 8:43 pm

A College Republican.

The worst kind.

horsedreamer_1 May 31, 2011 at 12:00 am

Even better, prolly a closet case. Though aren't they are?

mumbly_joe May 31, 2011 at 3:23 am

College Republicans, especially on the National level, really does seem like a sociopath proving grounds, doesn't it?

C_R_Eature May 31, 2011 at 5:47 am

There is something about that organization that attracts the Amygdala-Deprived. It is where Karl Rove crawled out of.

Warpde May 30, 2011 at 8:48 pm

My gawd. This is becoming a Penis envy epidemic.
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2011/05/29/privates-

Hey, I have 12''. But I don't use it as a rule.

flamingpdog May 30, 2011 at 9:26 pm

You can't have 12 inches. Then your penis would be a foot!

Warpde May 30, 2011 at 10:53 pm

Damn, so that's why I keep trying to put my sock on my cock.

flamingpdog May 30, 2011 at 11:50 pm

I'm gonna hate myself for posting this, but you set me up for this:

"In days of old, when knights were bold,
And rubbers weren't invented,
They wrapped a sock around their cock;
That's how babies were prevented.

-Anonymous poet, overheard on the playground in third grade.

Native_of_SL_UT May 31, 2011 at 10:02 am

But apparently you could use it as a ruler.

Papa_Uniform May 30, 2011 at 8:57 pm

Well at least we know it's not Breitbart's dick. It's way too big.

mavenmaven May 30, 2011 at 9:01 pm

Its worth posting the story about the guy who is apparently the one who did it, who has been obsessing over Weiner for a while now: http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/05/29/980400/-

LetUsBray May 30, 2011 at 9:10 pm

You figure Dan Wolfe the Reagan fellator is used to dead dicks, which is how he fell in with Breitbart.

rocktonsam May 30, 2011 at 9:02 pm

notsobrietbart is still a dick, just not such a big one

JoshuaNorton May 30, 2011 at 9:05 pm

When even Drudge appears to be saying "Nah, I think I'll pass on this one," you know the ice is rapidly giving way under your feet.

Arken May 30, 2011 at 9:09 pm

Reminds me of an old Bill Griffith comic where three Republicans are having MMF sex, but all are wearing briefs that have 'Republican birth control device' stamped on them.

DerrickWildcat May 30, 2011 at 9:15 pm

If my dick were 12 inches long, it'd be a foot.

RadioJr. May 30, 2011 at 9:17 pm

Really, this is Wonkette envy. Because now they feel like they can make weiner jokes over at BigDick dot com. Oh, and i'll bet they are so knee-slapping funny too. How long have there been unfettered dick jokes here?

Pop_Socket May 30, 2011 at 9:22 pm

Sadly, some right-wing dickweed is snickering over how he pulled another one over on the lamestream media. Then he goes back to prank calling Mo's Bar.

RadioJr. May 30, 2011 at 9:25 pm

Hey, Wonkette Jr., could you post a pic of your junk? I mean come on, throw us a bone. We need clues.

not that Dewey May 30, 2011 at 9:27 pm

[dick joke]

Doktor Zoom May 30, 2011 at 11:05 pm

[redickted]

not that Dewey May 30, 2011 at 11:16 pm

[applause]

Doktor Zoom May 30, 2011 at 11:34 pm

T

not that Dewey May 31, 2011 at 8:44 am

Re-fisted 43 times.

Terry May 30, 2011 at 9:32 pm

Well, given that this was a Brietbarter "caper", it's amazing that those shorts have neither visible cheeto stains nor skid marks.

C_R_Eature May 30, 2011 at 9:38 pm

Two words:

Rent Boy.

Negropolis May 30, 2011 at 9:40 pm

And, I call my next piece "Anthony's Weiner," said amatuer (bullshit) artist, Andy Dullfart.

donner_froh May 30, 2011 at 9:41 pm

OMG–Breitbart photochopped some dude's wiener. Be careful Andrew–you might chop something off.

mumbly_joe May 31, 2011 at 3:24 am

That "crop" tool can be pretty dangerous. Not as much as the "crop tool" tool, though.

BZ1 May 30, 2011 at 9:43 pm

all-lying-edged, isn't that the proper spelling for "alleged"

Negropolis May 30, 2011 at 9:43 pm

BTW, Wonkette Jr. (w/cheese and/or bacon), you get a whore-diamond for using "disembodied wiener" in a sentence. That said, Anthony is anything but "mild-mannered", and thank the FSM for that.

Beowoof May 30, 2011 at 9:48 pm

Come on Andy, admit it, you were jealous when you saw such a substantial wiener, something you and O'Keefe just aren't used to seeing.

flamingpdog May 30, 2011 at 11:56 pm

Just used to being.

mrblifil May 31, 2011 at 9:39 am

He's used to seeing it that size, he just has to get his eyes really really close.

Jukesgrrl May 30, 2011 at 10:00 pm

I do believe that Big Govt. Dana Loesch's claim that she's "been using PhotoShop professionally nearly every day since 1993," qualifies as the 2011 version of, "I was a journalism major in college, so I have every reason to believe my research is accurate," (from LittlePunkStaffersGate).

glamourdammerung May 30, 2011 at 10:06 pm

I wonder what professional job she had at 14/15 that required using Photoshop nearly every day.

Jukesgrrl May 30, 2011 at 10:11 pm

Pasting hearts and starbursts around photos of Justin Timberlake?

imissopus May 31, 2011 at 1:04 am

That was a DailyKos blogger making that claim when she analyzed the original screen grab that was getting passed around. She concluded it was a fake.

Doktor Zoom May 30, 2011 at 10:11 pm

OK, so I went to search Google Images to see if I could find where that photo came from… strange, I got really distracted, and now I seem to have an unaccountable hankering to sing some show tunes and go shopping for tasteful furniture.

politics_nerd May 30, 2011 at 10:14 pm

Andrew Breitbart needs die in prison of either old age or an old fashioned shanking, like all good Republicans.

LetUsBray May 30, 2011 at 10:17 pm

What's striking is that each of Breitfart's scams has a shorter half-life than the last. I found out about this one via the Daily Kos article breaking it down. I expect before the summer is out wonkette will be live-blogging his latest and most epic Fail.

Terry May 30, 2011 at 10:59 pm

Soon, the Breitbarters will be just talking amongst themselves.

mavenmaven May 30, 2011 at 11:19 pm

in between their time spent downfisting on Wonkette…

flamingpdog May 30, 2011 at 11:58 pm

Or to themselves. No, wait, I'm pretty sure they do a lotta that already.

mumbly_joe May 31, 2011 at 4:31 am

Well, it seems pretty obvious that the intent here was to "break" this "news" at the beginning of the long weekend, in order to let it circulate for the maximum amount of time in right-wing circles before anyone else noticed it, let alone debunked it as an obvious hoax.

Oh, and also, then the wingtards would all loudly ask why the Lamestream Media wasn't covering this important hoax story and clearly it's because of all the liberal biases.

user-of-owls May 30, 2011 at 10:37 pm

Apropos of nothing…

Yes.

RadioJr. May 30, 2011 at 10:39 pm

Wait, Howie Kurtz has piped in. this is BIG.

RadioJr. May 30, 2011 at 10:48 pm

Wait, mine fine feathered friend, this is bigger than La Puta-Caravana, Howie Kurtz has piped in!!1!

anniegetyerfun May 31, 2011 at 1:36 am

I hadn't considered it before, but we may have just found Breitbart's new tagline!

PuckStopsHere May 30, 2011 at 11:03 pm

No surprise here. Andrew Breitbart is a walking dick joke.

KenLayIsAlive May 30, 2011 at 11:10 pm

He's a stumbling drunken cock.

El Pinche May 30, 2011 at 11:35 pm

Another fake scandal from Brietbart? Tell me something new . Back to my jager.

JoshuaNorton May 30, 2011 at 11:36 pm

Some people are born to be Weiners. Others have weiners thrust upon them.

axmxz May 31, 2011 at 2:17 am

And some, like Andy, have wieners thrust into them. Often.

easynews May 31, 2011 at 4:16 am

You say that like it's a bad thing.

not that Dewey May 31, 2011 at 8:42 am

Isn't there a 3rd set? Those who choose to be wieners?

Apropos of nothing, also.

donner_froh May 30, 2011 at 11:46 pm

Apropos of nothing what would Sharia based punishment be for Breitbart's lame-ass attempt at calumny?

El Pinche May 31, 2011 at 12:36 am

One in the pink, and one in the stink? ..wait that's Kama Sutra

102415 May 31, 2011 at 1:24 am

I'm pretty sure we get to cut off his dick if we can find it. Stuffing the little meat bit in his mouth would be only if he wasn't sorry.

Steverino247 May 31, 2011 at 7:14 am

Citizen: "They shove a living snake up your ass!"

Centurion (shivers): "No, but that's very creative."

fuflans May 30, 2011 at 11:54 pm

maybe there wouldn't BE a scandal if our representatives just stayed off fucking twitter and, i don't know, created some jobs or something.

fuflans May 30, 2011 at 11:56 pm

say!! wasn't eric cantor ALSO the rep whose office was shot up (ish)? why do people pick on eric cantor so?

fartknocker May 31, 2011 at 12:08 am

Brietbart is just envious because he's had a lot of cock in his ass and that one most likely nicely. Now I don't know this, as it is only conjuncture on my part, which is apropos for this situation.

easynews May 31, 2011 at 4:28 am

Apropos of nothing, I heard that there is a video of Breitbart dressed as pedobear kidnapping small boys from the playground. And one of him pushing grannies in their wheelchairs off of cliffs. And one of him burning the American flag. And one of him with a 'God Hates Flags' sign protesting a military funeral. This is only conjecture on my part. But it could be true.

Negropolis May 31, 2011 at 6:40 am

As I'm sure Andy knows, it would be irresponsible not to speculate! He totally forgot the #notintendedasafactualstatement

WilliamHTaft May 31, 2011 at 1:03 am

Oh yeah Andrew Breitbart. The guy that always lies and frames people. Good thing CNN, PBS, and everyone else ran with this story. He's probably telling the truth this time.

What a shitty goddamn liberal media conspiracy we have.

aguacatero May 31, 2011 at 1:42 am

Breitbart has shown that, contrary to common wisdom, the GOP is still the party of the Big Tent.

Negropolis May 31, 2011 at 2:10 am

I don't know how big of a tent that is…

aguacatero May 31, 2011 at 2:22 am

A Party of the Small Tent joke could work — I'm giving you the rights to it.

iburl May 31, 2011 at 2:45 am

Muh-muh-muh-my sharia!

glamourdammerung May 31, 2011 at 2:52 am

While we are on the subject of Little Andy and Pals' credibility:

Rightwing activists and propagandists James O'Keefe and Hannah Giles, employees of con-artist and propagandist Andrew Breitbart, may not use the First Amendment as an excuse for breaking the law in California, according to a federal judge's ruling this week.

http://www.bradblog.com/?p=8542

lulzmonger May 31, 2011 at 5:15 am

Andrew Breitbart: A NAME YOU CAN TRUST … to keep seeing come up in connection with Grade-D ratfucking escapades masquerading as news.

Not unlike the way a meal that a dog ought not to eat keeps coming up because it just isn't bright enough to give up on trying to eat it.

SudsMcKenzie May 31, 2011 at 5:16 am

Finally, a good use of Twitter

… and I'm straight.

C_R_Eature May 31, 2011 at 5:52 am

"Apropos of Nothing". The Wonkeratti have picked Brietbart's new tagline.
Let's all play!

For Example:

@AndrewBrietbart tweeted:

" Apropos of Nothing, if I said that you had a nice Penis, would you hold it against me?"

Negropolis May 31, 2011 at 6:53 am

Apropos of Nothing, Andy, don't you know that Anthony Weiner wouldn't fuck you with Andy Dick's dick?

Apropos of Nothing, sticking the qualifier "big" before everything doesn't make it so.

Apropos of Nothing, did you know that Andrew Breitbart helped Glenn Beck rape and kill a girl in the 90's? – #notintendedtobeafactualstatement

C_R_Eature May 31, 2011 at 7:00 am

Way to go!

"Apropos of Nothing, sticking the qualifier "big" before everything doesn't make it so." – except perhaps for "Big Drunk Failure.Com"

Steverino247 May 31, 2011 at 7:11 am

No, no, no! Holding a penis against someone isn't nearly as effective as rubbing it against them.

Oh, and "Apropos of Nothing." (A nihilistic penis?)

Negropolis May 31, 2011 at 7:58 am

Just ask DSK's nasty ass.

BaldarTFlagass May 31, 2011 at 7:32 am

This is good news for Ron Jeremy!

carlgt1 May 31, 2011 at 7:33 am

I hope they nail the Breitbarters for this lame attack hoax.

DaSandman May 31, 2011 at 8:17 am

All alone at his secret command base late into the night, Andrew gazes at the image and feels a delicate tingle…

Dr_pangloss May 31, 2011 at 8:33 am

Seriously, This guy employ a bunch of frat boys and guys with the emotional maturity of twelve year old boys? WTF. Just what a guy named Weiner wants.. to live under Sharia Law. I wonder what the punishment for being a stupid meathead on the internet is.

Nothing?

Oh carry on then.

KeepFnThatChicken May 31, 2011 at 9:15 am

"Apropos of nothing" is a phrase designed to convince the right-wing illidioti that you're literate, or well-read.

mrblifil May 31, 2011 at 9:38 am

He's apropos-terous.

mrblifil May 31, 2011 at 9:38 am

I'll bet when Breitbart saw that picture, he totally gagged.

mrblifil May 31, 2011 at 9:43 am

Apropos of nothing, one of Breitbart's websites is called Big Peace. Get it?

smitallica May 31, 2011 at 9:50 am

I would never advocate violence against another human being. Which means Breitbart is fair game. Have at it, boys!

ttommyunger May 31, 2011 at 10:01 am

Wow! What an incisive piece of Journalism! Breitfart has done it again. Of course, only our super-ignorant Congress is gullible (read skittish) enough to take tripe like this as fact; so expect Congressional Investigations in 3-2-1…

jaytingle May 31, 2011 at 10:36 am

"Apropos of nothing" will be Breitbart's epitaph.

DustinDeWynde May 31, 2011 at 11:35 am

I’ve been waiting for the last 2 days, because Wonkette took off on the Holiday, FOR AMERICA, to FINALLY get on the stick and cover this story.

I mean seriously, giving this room the opportunity to do nothing else BUT tell Dick Jokes?

Where has this been all our lives?

Thankfully, y’all rose to the occasion, as I knew ya would, though I must say it woulda been hard for ya to not do so. (Gee, I like this game, looks like anybody can play.)

Here’s my twitters that’s gone out to all and sundry, may it grant you more Page Viewz, The Googles be willing:

@AndrewBreitbart Wants U 2 C His Weiner Pic http://bit.ly/kvmt3t WhatHappensWhen @Wonkette #Commentariat haz Excuse 2 tell #DickJokes? LULZ

I’ll take this even a step further, I’ve been on here since the days of AMC, (when I had to friggin’ audition for this precious spot, in the snow, uphill, both ways), and judging from the little online Breitbart Bukkake Dance Party that this has devolved into today, I’d daresay that this is turning into Wonkette’s Finest Hour.

Ever.

On a more serious note.

WTF?!?

Of all the Democrats out there to screw with, you morans and congenital idiots picked Weiner to pull this clumsy ham-handed move on?

If there is one person you don’t want to find out the hard way to *not* fuck with it is Congressman Anthony Weiner.

He’ll beat y’all like a rented mule.

When this blows up in Angry Andy’s face, which it will, in 3, 2, 1… I am going to feel an Incredible Level of Personal Satisfaction and Gratification.

Been a long time coming, let me tell you.

Gorillionaire May 31, 2011 at 11:47 am

Apropos of nothing, what would Breitbart do if he actually had to work for a living?

DustinDeWynde May 31, 2011 at 11:50 am

I've been waiting for the last 2 days, because Wonkette took off on the Holiday, FOR AMERICA, to FINALLY get on the stick and cover this story.

I mean seriously, giving this room the opportunity to do nothing else BUT tell Dick Jokes?

Where has this been all our lives?

Thankfully, y'all rose to the occasion, as I knew ya would, though I must say it woulda been hard for ya to not do so. (Gee, I like this game, looks like anybody can play.)

Here's my twitters that's gone out to all and sundry, may it grant you more Page Viewz, The Googles be willing:

@AndrewBreitbart Wants U 2 C His Weiner Pic http://bit.ly/kvmt3t WhatHappensWhen @Wonkette #Commentariat haz Excuse 2 tell #DickJokes? LULZ

I'll take this even a step further, I've been on here since the days of AMC, (when I had to friggin' audition for this precious spot, in the snow, uphill, both ways), and judging from the little online Breitbart Bukkake Dance Party that this has devolved into today, I'd daresay that this is turning into Wonkette's Finest Hour.

Ever.

On a more serious note.

WTF?!?

Of all the Democrats out there to screw with, you morans and congenital idiots picked Weiner to pull this clumsy ham-handed move on?

That's about the fucking stupidest and MOST REDACTED thing you could possibly have ever done to yourselves.

If there is one person you don't want to find out the hard way to *not* fuck with it is Congressman Anthony Weiner.

He'll beat y'all like a rented mule.

When this blows up in Angry Andy's face, which it will, in 3, 2, 1… I am going to feel an Incredible Level of Personal Satisfaction and Gratification.

Been a long time coming, let me tell you.

SnapTie May 31, 2011 at 11:51 am

Wonky: Please post more advertisers,we need to Media Splatter you.

glamourdammerung May 31, 2011 at 4:02 pm

How many times is Breitbart going to need to be caught fabricating claims for his followers like you to stop mindlessly following him?

102415 May 31, 2011 at 12:28 pm

Is it just me but doesn't that thing look like it's not attached right? I hope Mister Wolfe-Breitbart wasn't using a detachable penis he bought on 2nd Avenue. That's how Sarah got the hookworms!

MozakiBlocks May 31, 2011 at 4:44 pm

You know who else liked to take pictures of their dick and send it to random people on the internet?

Dammit, I've been waiting all day to get home and make this joke and I don't care if someone else made it first!

C_R_Eature May 31, 2011 at 7:26 pm

Ann Coulter?

valgal2342 May 31, 2011 at 5:20 pm

You're right about that DustinDeWynde, Congressman Anthony Weiner rocks!

easynews June 1, 2011 at 7:18 am

Aye. An' it's funny to see the way that they throw Dubya under the bus also, too. These same miscreants seem to conveniently have forgotten the whole "you're either with us or against us" doctrine and their previous defense of Georgie Boy.

DustBowlBlues June 1, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Hey! Where did everybody go? Why are there any other topics when Anthony "Liberal Dreamboat" Weiner is under attack? I'm at a church conference and staying with a brother who doesn't watch news obsessively and he left to work out at the gym and I changed the channel and found out about this.

Here I am, serving Jebus by attending days of boring meetings with people who would look shocked if they heard me say fuck, and my pretend boyfriend is smeared.

Who's in charge of forming the wonkette vigelante committee? I'm in OKC and can maybe get that pharmacists gun that he used to go Dirty Harry on a black kid and then we can fix this motherfucker. Who's with me?

Oops, no time. I've got to back and serve Jeebus. Later, losers.

PS I'll pray for you. Strike that. I'll pray for the hero of the Public Option.

Gopherit June 1, 2011 at 1:10 pm

Well, you can see the dick, so you know it ain't Andy.

Maggiepoo June 6, 2011 at 6:40 am

Too bad, so sad WEINER BUSTED!!!! BYE BYE WEINER!!!!!

mumbly_joe May 30, 2011 at 11:09 pm

Ladies, ladies, ladies (and/or gentlemen? Hey, whatever). If the fakey-fake twitter photo is any indication, there's plenty of Internet-Anthony Weiner to go around.

ChessieNefercat May 31, 2011 at 2:28 pm

Mine, mine, mine! I know because I get personal mail merge emails from him all the time!

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