Fun webzine NewsMax mostly sends the Wonkette tips line weird spam about timeshares and sex pills, but it also posts lots of made-up news about middle-aged pinups Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann. Apparently, there can be only one sexy grandma in the Republican Party — it’s kind of just for old white dudes who completely plan to become rich someday soon, somehow — so the thought of Sarah Palin renting a tour bus in D.C. while Michele Bachmann plans to visit her mythological birthplace beneath a soybean silo in Iowa, well that’s just too much. Will they collide? And then grunt “Reagan” to each other, while tenderly rubbing Mazola on their liver spots?
There’s certainly something to be said for Republican geezers using their sexytime thoughts on people who are somewhere in their general age group, and it’s always a relief to hear about old right-winger fellows doing the hubba-hubba about a lady rather than “needy boys who have family issues.” But can we be forgiven (no) for thinking maybe it would be nice if a popular Republican lady politician was known for something beyond ejecting babies from her hips, having big hair and being a laughably dumb bigot? [NewsMax]