CRASH  12:01 pm May 27, 2011

Right Wing Website Fantasizes About Palin Colliding Into Bachmann

by Wonkette Jr.

Which one goes under the bus?Fun webzine NewsMax mostly sends the Wonkette tips line weird spam about timeshares and sex pills, but it also posts lots of made-up news about middle-aged pinups Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann. Apparently, there can be only one sexy grandma in the Republican Party — it’s kind of just for old white dudes who completely plan to become rich someday soon, somehow — so the thought of Sarah Palin renting a tour bus in D.C. while Michele Bachmann plans to visit her mythological birthplace beneath a soybean silo in Iowa, well that’s just too much. Will they collide? And then grunt “Reagan” to each other, while tenderly rubbing Mazola on their liver spots?

There’s certainly something to be said for Republican geezers using their sexytime thoughts on people who are somewhere in their general age group, and it’s always a relief to hear about old right-winger fellows doing the hubba-hubba about a lady rather than “needy boys who have family issues.” But can we be forgiven (no) for thinking maybe it would be nice if a popular Republican lady politician was known for something beyond ejecting babies from her hips, having big hair and being a laughably dumb bigot? [NewsMax]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 232 comments }

OC_Surf_Serf May 27, 2011 at 12:03 pm

Grifter v. Bat-Shit Crazy: As wearing as a Republican's morning jacket…

Sassomatic May 27, 2011 at 12:04 pm

PILLOW FIGHT!!!!!!!

HistoriCat May 27, 2011 at 2:24 pm

"Why don't you two fight over me and I'll stand over here and take pictures?"

memzilla May 27, 2011 at 12:04 pm

Mooselini collides with Crazy Eyes…. and there's Santorum all over the highway!

Swampgas_Man May 27, 2011 at 1:14 pm

And there was BS, BS, over Thunder Road
Drivin' was his livin' and white racists were his load
And there were bimbos, bimbos, to quench the Devil's thirst.
The law they swore they'd get 'em but the Wonkette got 'em first.

Barb May 27, 2011 at 12:04 pm

"If Bachmann and Palin get in, that's two bimbos. And there there's Mitt Romney, the millionaire and Newt Gingrich, a professor. We just need a skipper and a buddy and we've got 'Gilligan's Island.'" —Bill Maher

KeepFnThatChicken May 27, 2011 at 12:07 pm

So who plays Mrs. Howl?

nounverb911 May 27, 2011 at 12:08 pm

All of them, Katie.

flamingpdog May 27, 2011 at 12:13 pm

Any Alaskan wolf bitch that Mooselini hasn't shot from a helicopter yet.

chicken_thief May 27, 2011 at 1:16 pm

Are you suggesting that Lindsay Graham run?!

Callyson May 27, 2011 at 12:13 pm

Well, T – Paw is a ringer for Gilligan. But for the skipper…hmmm, that could be hard since this train wreck that is the GOP field of 2012 appears ready to sail far, far away, never to be heard from again. Or so I hope.

proudgrampa May 27, 2011 at 12:19 pm

Oh, Newt is the Skipper! Hell, Gingrich and Alan Hale look like twins separated at birth!

baconzgood May 27, 2011 at 12:20 pm

NEWT is fat enough.

DeeJayKitteh May 27, 2011 at 12:20 pm

For some reason Huckabee keeps popping to mind for the Skipper. But that might just be because he's fat.

memzilla May 27, 2011 at 12:21 pm

Chris Christie as The Skipper.

chicken_thief May 27, 2011 at 1:18 pm

Alan Hale was heavy, Chris Christie is motherfucking disgustingly fat. Christie should be cast as the island.

Geminisunmars May 27, 2011 at 12:59 pm

Couldn't we resurrect Fred Thompson for the Skipper? And I see Barbara (Mrs. G H W) Bush as Mrs. Howel, altho not running for anything I'm sure.

AJW@[redacted] May 27, 2011 at 1:43 pm

I refuse to call her Lovie

lulzmonger May 31, 2011 at 5:44 am

Babs/Mama Griz 2012 – "ON TOP OF THE WORLD, MA!"

Come here a minute May 27, 2011 at 1:53 pm

Herman Cain was the Skipper of S.S. Godfather, the Minnow of the pizza franchises.

ShaveTheWhales May 27, 2011 at 6:40 pm

Every so often, Maher makes me forgive his stupider side.

KeepFnThatChicken May 27, 2011 at 12:04 pm

This is just masturbation material. You still dance with the one that brought you.

nounverb911 May 27, 2011 at 12:05 pm

Mmmm. Cannibalism at its best

Buzz Feedback May 27, 2011 at 12:05 pm

Bumpin' donuts.

Sassomatic May 27, 2011 at 12:05 pm

In Palin's defense, she is also known for shooting wolves from helicopters.

Texan_Bulldog May 27, 2011 at 12:05 pm

I think the oldsters hope their lips & boobs are on a collision course. Forget the star bursts–that would make Rich Lowry's pants explode.

baconzgood May 27, 2011 at 12:06 pm

"Starting to butt heads"

"Staring two butt-heads"

(FIXED)

Ducksworthy May 27, 2011 at 12:13 pm

Win

SorosBot May 27, 2011 at 12:45 pm

Then who's Bevis? Ron Paul?

OC_Surf_Serf May 27, 2011 at 12:07 pm

Fucking happy there has never been two men running for president at the same time…

Chet Kincaid May 27, 2011 at 1:13 pm

Hell, Deval Patrick would be a great contender for 2016 if it weren't for…you know.

Chet Kincaid May 27, 2011 at 3:16 pm

Wow, I guess SpankingMyPP and AlphaDiddle really can't stand the thought of another nigra from Chicago running for President!

But I'm putting down a marker now for the inevitably stupid Politico article that will ask in 2014, "Deval Compelling, But Does Nation Have 'Black President Fatigue'?"

WABishop May 27, 2011 at 12:07 pm

If you have Ann Coulter moderating the debate, your Republican young man will spend all weekend in his room.

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 27, 2011 at 12:12 pm

If you have Ann Coulter Paul Ryan moderating the debate, your Republican young man will spend all weekend in his room.

Fixed

PsycWench May 27, 2011 at 1:28 pm

If you have Ann Coulter Paul Ryan Aaron Schock moderating the debate, your Republican young man will spend all weekend in his room.

More fixed.

imissopus May 27, 2011 at 1:52 pm

If you have Ann Coulter Paul Ryan Aaron Schock moderating the debate, your Republican young man will spend all weekend in his room with a keg of Jurgens and a stack of towels.

Fixedest.

SenileAgitation May 27, 2011 at 12:29 pm

Twirling the cylinder of his revolver wondering why he feels so ashamed when he looks at Mitt Romney.

AJW@[redacted] May 27, 2011 at 1:46 pm

Or that other one, the one Ed Schultz called a word-slut the other day.

Chet Kincaid May 27, 2011 at 1:58 pm

The one who really is a female.

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 10:58 pm

So, not Ann Coulter, then.

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 10:57 pm

"your Republican young man will spend all weekend in his room"

And this is different from every other weekend — how?

Chillwaver May 27, 2011 at 12:08 pm

"Let the scissoring begin!"
– Koch Bros.

pdiddycornchips May 27, 2011 at 1:36 pm

"Gotta be careful with scissors"

Butters from Southpark

Badonkadonkette May 27, 2011 at 12:08 pm

Will they collide?

Will Bachmann Be Nailin' Palin?

Crank_Tango May 27, 2011 at 1:11 pm

Bachmann turn'er over, drive!

Neoyorquino May 27, 2011 at 9:38 pm

Drill, baby, drill.

fuflans May 27, 2011 at 12:09 pm

i will quit drinking if this happens.

oh wait. no i won't.

proudgrampa May 27, 2011 at 12:23 pm

Sir or Madam –

I do not ever want to hear "quit" and "drinking" in the same sentence, ever, again! Understood?

Love,

proudgrampa

DashboardBuddha May 27, 2011 at 12:26 pm

I don't drink any more…I don't drink any less either.

angryclownspawn May 27, 2011 at 12:34 pm

Pretty sure I will be drinking more.

Swampgas_Man May 27, 2011 at 1:17 pm

I'll start drinking earlier in the day if this happens.

EatsBabyDingos May 27, 2011 at 12:09 pm

I can only hope that when they collide they are both driving nitroglycerin trucks.

nounverb911 May 27, 2011 at 12:37 pm
Geminisunmars May 27, 2011 at 1:06 pm

"Why else would a grown man be playing with model trains, except to blow them up?" I always thought Gomez was a Republican.

Gomez571 May 31, 2011 at 7:00 pm

Take that back!

flamingpdog May 27, 2011 at 12:09 pm

Isn't it time to declare peace and deactivate those old SAM [Sarah And Michele] missiles once and for all?

Fukui_sanYesOta May 27, 2011 at 12:09 pm

Ah, the Large Hairdo Collider, attempting to discover which of the two is more dense.

V572..whatever May 27, 2011 at 12:20 pm

So funny! So upfistable!

smokefilledroommate May 28, 2011 at 4:29 am

What about the Large Redneck Hardon Collider? It's obviously affected by the vapid Bumpitsphere.

OC_Surf_Serf May 27, 2011 at 12:21 pm

They both are indeed Quantum Contradictions…extremely dense and yet full of hot air simultaneously…

Sophist[Kochblocker] May 27, 2011 at 12:30 pm

Damn you! Beat me by one minute.

You're going on the list…

OneDollarJuana May 27, 2011 at 1:17 pm

If they run against each other it might be a case of Schrodinger's Catfight.

Negropolis May 30, 2011 at 1:06 am

WIN

Chet Kincaid May 27, 2011 at 1:21 pm

Appropriate, since all the Palin baby names could be new sub-atomic particles. Ridiculous sub-atomic particles.

Negropolis May 30, 2011 at 1:08 am

I can see it now…Gluon Palin, Up/Down/Charm/Strange Quark Palin, Higgs Boson Palin, and the list goes on. It's scary how these sound like perfect names for future Palin children.

ShaveTheWhales May 27, 2011 at 6:52 pm

The LHC deserves immortality. Is there a Wonkette Hall of Fame? 'Cause, fuck.

I could speak of quantum white holes, or the Bozo Piggs, or how they'll fight over which one gets to be the superpartner, but these are merely derivative nerd jokes.

All praise to the Large Hairdo Collider.

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 11:00 pm

"I could speak of quantum white holes, or the Bozo Piggs, or how they'll fight over which one gets to be the superpartner, but these are merely derivative nerd jokes"

There really is something in science called the Bozo Piggs?
The things I miss being a Book Geek.

ShaveTheWhales June 1, 2011 at 5:27 pm

Sorry, really late.

There is a thing (maybe) called the Higgs Boson.

Not my best pun.

donner_froh May 27, 2011 at 12:09 pm

The stupidity explosion after these two collided would make the Tōhoku earthquake seem minor in comparison.

Swampgas_Man May 27, 2011 at 1:19 pm

And the sub-atomic particles released would be about the size of the average Republican brain.

Callyson May 27, 2011 at 12:10 pm

…can we be forgiven (no) for thinking maybe it would be nice if a popular Republican lady politician was known for something beyond ejecting babies from her hips, having big hair and being a laughably dumb bigot?
Millicent Fenwick is rolling over in her grave…

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 11:01 pm

Although, to be strictly accurate, she was best known for smoking a pipe.

(oh, I didn't mean it THAT way, you buncha pervs!)

Oblios_Cap May 27, 2011 at 12:10 pm

Me-ouch! Cat Fight!

Sue4466 May 27, 2011 at 12:10 pm

Palin/Bachmann 2012

Bachmann/Palin 2012

oh, fuckit, the order doesn't matter!

Batshit/Crazy 2012

Sophist[Kochblocker] May 27, 2011 at 12:10 pm

Someone call up CERN and ask what happens when two supercharged morons collide.

nounverb911 May 27, 2011 at 12:12 pm

The end of the republican party?

SorosBot May 27, 2011 at 12:19 pm

If they collide fast enough the remains might get so dense as to form a black hole of stupidity.

Sophist[Kochblocker] May 27, 2011 at 12:21 pm

You're telling me Bachmannnn and Palin could be denser than they already are?

p.s. Now that I think about it, a collision between the two could only result in a lot of anti-matter, in that neither of them actually matter in any meaningful sense of the word.

OneDollarJuana May 27, 2011 at 1:21 pm

They are already black holes. Information goes in, but never comes out. They shed no light. As you approach them, time seems to stretch to infinity. They leave destruction in their wakes. And as in most of the universe, they are at the centers of small Republican galaxies.

deanbooth May 27, 2011 at 6:30 pm

Starbursts!

Papa_Uniform May 27, 2011 at 12:11 pm

Can we get them to make a movie?

Oblios_Cap May 27, 2011 at 12:12 pm

"Atlas Shrieked"?

nounverb911 May 27, 2011 at 12:14 pm

"Atlas Squirmished"?

(I need to refresh the screen more often)

fuflans May 27, 2011 at 1:29 pm

i FORGOT about squirmish.

i LOVED squirmish.

SexySmurf May 27, 2011 at 12:22 pm

Nailin' Palin 2 starring Michele "Bare" Backmann.

CliveWarren May 27, 2011 at 12:24 pm

A remake of the last minute of Thelma & Louise?

Geminisunmars May 27, 2011 at 1:10 pm

Two Easy Pieces?

jqheywood May 27, 2011 at 1:11 pm

Bachman Grifter Overdrive?

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 11:03 pm

Preferably a snuff film.

prommie May 27, 2011 at 12:12 pm

They're just two needy girls with family issues.

nounverb911 May 27, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Needs more illegitimate grandchildren.

Steverino247 May 27, 2011 at 12:41 pm

Didn't take long for the meme to arrive here. Good work!

Chet Kincaid May 27, 2011 at 1:24 pm

Does that mean the Kochs are secretly the Bang Bros.?

bagofmice May 27, 2011 at 1:39 pm

That movie would suck.

Oblios_Cap May 27, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Will they collide? And then grunt “Reagan” to each other, while tenderly rubbing Mazola on their liver spots?

Which one dons the strap on when they're done with the Mazola? My money's on Bachmann since she's already used to doing it at home with the hubby.

Twinklesnot May 27, 2011 at 8:30 pm

Hahaha! This made me laugh out loud, because she is totally doing that.

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 11:06 pm

What, you're implying that Silly Sarah doesn't give Tawwwd a good all-American peggin'?
By golly, she does! You betcha! *wink*

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 27, 2011 at 12:14 pm

If two masses of stupidity and craziness like this collide, will anything be able to escape the black hole of insanity that will be formed?

BTWBFDIMHO May 27, 2011 at 12:25 pm

Nothing will escape, remember Newt's Third Law of Morons:

For every moron there is an equal and opposite oxymoron.

proudgrampa May 27, 2011 at 12:28 pm

This is a question only Hawking can answer.

Peace in our time May 27, 2011 at 12:52 pm

Better check w/ tech support.

bagofmice May 27, 2011 at 12:32 pm

It just may be the event horizon of the wingularity.

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 27, 2011 at 12:44 pm

I honestly wish I had thought of that one myself.

easynewz May 27, 2011 at 12:51 pm

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

Ducksworthy May 27, 2011 at 1:20 pm

The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity

Kind of sums up our times too, doesn't it.

Chet Kincaid May 27, 2011 at 1:28 pm

That's why the Blood-Dimmed Tide lost the BCS title game on a fumble. The got-danged Center cannot hold!!

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 11:24 pm

It's like the old SNL Super Fans question about what would happen if Da Bulls ever played against Da Bears:

Bob Swerski: Alright, contestants, here we go. The Final Quiz Masters question is: "Bears vs. Bulls."
"The senseless waste of pitting these two mighty forces of nature against each other, like matter vs. anti-matter, will be a tragedy, not only for the teams involved.." [ flips card over ] "..but for our planet. All nations must band together, to ensure that such a conflageration never takes place."

Callyson May 27, 2011 at 12:16 pm

Also, I love how the article talks about how "sparks will fly" if these two women run. I guess when men compete against each other, they play by Marquess of Queensberry rules.
(That is, unless the sparks to which they are referring are coming from the trousers of the old men who will watch the debates, hoping for a mudwrestling show…)

OneDollarJuana May 27, 2011 at 1:25 pm

I think it's a typo. It should read: "Sporks will fly"

DashboardBuddha May 27, 2011 at 1:29 pm

"trousers of the old men"

Large Hard-on Collider?

ShaveTheWhales May 27, 2011 at 6:57 pm

Too ghey.

SayItWithWookies May 27, 2011 at 12:16 pm

I hope if these potential candidates debate, they do it in a forum appropriate to their speaking abilities and intellectual heft. I'm thinking Jerry Springer.

Badrabbit May 27, 2011 at 12:16 pm

If they're both in the next debate Newt Gingrich's opening comments will be:

"I'm here to clean the pool."

SexySmurf May 27, 2011 at 12:23 pm

And Herman Cain is delivering a hot, sausage pizza.

Badrabbit May 27, 2011 at 12:49 pm

If Huckabee was a real patriot he'd jump in to provide a humpin' bass line.

bomm-chicka-bomm-chicka-bowmmp!

chicken_thief May 27, 2011 at 1:22 pm

Him and Ted jammin to "Cat Scratch Fever"!!!

easynewz May 27, 2011 at 12:58 pm

"Hey lady did you order a pepperoni pizza? Well here's the pizza and here's the pepperoni!" [ziiiiiiiip]
"Margaret, look, look, that looks like your grandfather eating ice cream!"

OneDollarJuana May 27, 2011 at 1:26 pm

Mitt will strap on his rubber gloves again.

Chillwaver May 27, 2011 at 12:51 pm

Their Gene Pool? Wouldn't Newt make it worse?

Ducksworthy May 27, 2011 at 12:17 pm

Lets settle this the old fashioned way. Neked Jello wrestling. I think one look at these decaying bimbos in the buff and America would finally turn its eyes away in disgust.

SorosBot May 27, 2011 at 12:21 pm

They're both crazy and stupid, but Palin is a bit more stupid than crazy, while Bachmann is a bit more crazy than stupid. So the teabaggers will have to choose between their love of fellow morons and the batshit insane.

Chet Kincaid May 27, 2011 at 1:36 pm

In unison: "YOU COMPLETE ME!!!!!!"

ShaveTheWhales May 27, 2011 at 7:01 pm

Sadly, neither of them is really stupid or really crazy. They're both natural grifters whose chances have blossomed because of the Republican Party's desperate need to have some female presence.

Golfing_OJ May 27, 2011 at 12:21 pm

Dingfuck FUCKHEAD Bachmann won't even feel it when Trig's pretend mom bashes her over that empty skull with an antique King James, and then the bras come off, everyone fucking pukes up their breakfast, the end.

Grief_Lessons May 27, 2011 at 12:22 pm

"Will they collide? And then grunt “Reagan” to each other, while tenderly rubbing Mazola on their liver spots? "

This settles it. Drop the alias, Wonkette Jr, you're a keeper.

Chet Kincaid May 27, 2011 at 1:39 pm

I see so many resonances…the vivid disgust of Benincasa, the dissapointed innocence of Waggaman, the Onion-strong pungency of Stuef…is Jr. the product of some horrible genetic experiment of Layne's?! The Human Wonkipede?!

DeeJayKitteh May 27, 2011 at 12:22 pm

I guess we'll find the answer to that age old question of what will happen when immovable ignorance meets unstoppable stupidity.

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 11:31 pm

Very much like when Reagan answered George Carlin's question: What happens when a really stupid person goes senile?

SorosBot May 27, 2011 at 12:22 pm

I would like to see their buses on a collision course. OK, not really; I'd like to see one of them get the nomination so Obama can have a 63%-37% blowout reelection.

Mumbletypeg May 27, 2011 at 12:24 pm

"Will they collide?"

Oh lord. Republicans, shore up your impending losses. It's all over but the floutin'.

Boredw/Gravitas May 27, 2011 at 12:27 pm

"Will they collide?" It'll be like the meeting of Gozor and Zuul. With Newt playing the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man.

lowaltflier May 27, 2011 at 12:28 pm

Mazola for liver spots? HMMMM! Okay. Thanks JR.

riverside68 May 27, 2011 at 1:15 pm

Needs mor mazola, crisco also

DashboardBuddha May 27, 2011 at 12:30 pm

The irresistible farce meets the immovable oddball

Two girls, one primary…

Oblios_Cap May 27, 2011 at 12:30 pm

"What is it really when they're fallin over
Everything that you thought is denied
I'm gonna be the one that's takin over
Now this is what it's like when worlds dolts collide"

Troubledog May 27, 2011 at 12:33 pm

Wait until Patti Davis enters the race with her "Hot Daughters Of Reagan" calendar.

metamarcisf May 27, 2011 at 12:33 pm

According to the Science Channel, when matter and anti-matter collide, total annihilation occurs. Now, what happens when "doesn't matter" collides with "who gives a sweet shit" is anybody's guess.

WhatTheHolyHeck May 27, 2011 at 1:05 pm

The reaction creates a new subatomic particle, the Moron.

mourningnmerica May 27, 2011 at 2:17 pm

Met, you're almost up to minus double digits. Keep goin' !!!

bordo2 May 27, 2011 at 12:35 pm

I'm kinda with Callyson on the idea that two women can't be in the same presidential race. It is sexist. But, Jesus on a popsicle stick, why does it have to be these two women? Aren't there some intelligent Republican women of accomplishment? Or are the right-wing fan boys so shallow they will only follow reasonably attractive middle-aged ladies? Oh, wait. I just answered my own question.

OneDollarJuana May 27, 2011 at 1:30 pm

Actually, Dr. Laura seems to be very intelligent, has been pretty successful, and is to the right of Attila the Hun. But Republican men are terrified of women like her (i.e., having brains) so she will never go anywhere politically.

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 11:34 pm

Putting an intelligent woman in front of Republicans is like showing a cross to a vampire.

bigdupa May 27, 2011 at 12:35 pm

Tits or GTFO!… there I said it

bagofmice May 27, 2011 at 1:41 pm

If I could only channel fourth such fonts of wisdom…

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 11:34 pm

I have a feeling you don't really want to see *those* tits.

mavenmaven May 27, 2011 at 12:36 pm

I'd be happy to watch this collision, but please, please, don't make me LISTEN to their harpy screechings…

Crank_Tango May 27, 2011 at 1:14 pm

i think it would be good sped up with the benny hill music over it.

mavenmaven May 27, 2011 at 2:06 pm

yakkety baggers?

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 11:35 pm

Yakkety skanks.

C_R_Eature May 27, 2011 at 2:48 pm

Editing in a Yoko Ono soundtrack would make it much more relaxing.

smokefilledroommate May 27, 2011 at 12:36 pm

Oh–c'mon.. You know they're going to end up being the best of friends!

Nails/Chalkboard 2012

neiltheblaze May 27, 2011 at 12:37 pm

Can hardly wait for the mud-wrestling contest!

Ducksworthy May 27, 2011 at 1:22 pm

That will be at the Iowa state fair.
(only they use pig manure for the mud)

neiltheblaze May 27, 2011 at 2:26 pm

Completely apropos.

hagajim May 27, 2011 at 12:40 pm

They should settle it via wet T-shirt contest.

chicken_thief May 27, 2011 at 1:27 pm

Waterboarding tends to get the entire upper torso wet. Jes sayin…..

DahBoner May 27, 2011 at 12:41 pm

Isn't Grandma supposed to be making pickles and Thanksgiving dinner and not running around tweeting nonsense and shooting Mooseburgers from submarines?

gullywompr May 27, 2011 at 12:42 pm

Hmm, decisions, decisions….

easynewz May 27, 2011 at 12:42 pm

…and their camps are starting to butt heads, Politico reports.

…and their camps are starting two buttheads…

/fixed

easynewz May 27, 2011 at 1:07 pm

Doh! Baconzgood beat me to it….

JustPixelz May 27, 2011 at 12:48 pm

At the next Repubican debate there could be a lot of boobs on stage. A lot.

Peace in our time May 27, 2011 at 12:50 pm

That would make it a DDebate.

bagofmice May 27, 2011 at 1:42 pm

Each one is a three-fer.

gullywompr May 27, 2011 at 2:39 pm

And a couple of stupid women. Also.

RadioJr. May 27, 2011 at 12:49 pm

I always forget, which one has more street cred?

Pres[EXTERMINATE!!] May 27, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Why does this make me hot for some reason? Am I mentally ill?

Geminisunmars May 27, 2011 at 1:18 pm

No. Just Republican.

UpFistTroll May 27, 2011 at 1:23 pm

And the difference is…

bagofmice May 27, 2011 at 1:43 pm

Talk about a straight line…

zappadoo76 May 27, 2011 at 12:51 pm

And then grunt “Reagan” to each other, while tenderly rubbing Mazola on their liver spots?

Mazola? Does that work? And do you have to chant, "Reagan," or can you skip that part?

MrFizzy May 27, 2011 at 12:54 pm

I'm waiting for the shower scene before I decide who to vote for.

Peace in our time May 27, 2011 at 12:59 pm

That would be golden!

Chet Kincaid May 27, 2011 at 2:10 pm

Who's stabbing who?

MrFizzy May 27, 2011 at 2:16 pm

I could see this as a pulp fiction kind of thing, with soaping of breasts then some stabbing. God how excellent would it be to see them slash each other up?

x111e7thst May 27, 2011 at 1:00 pm

Yetch!

NadePaulKuciGravMcKi May 27, 2011 at 1:01 pm

Sarah Palin
v
Michele Bachmann

"Get Off The Cross, We Could Use The Wood"
http://www.freakingnews.com/Get-Off-The-Cross-We-

Ducksworthy May 27, 2011 at 1:28 pm

If that's what Palin's actual body looked like I could consider that a reason for her existence. But sadly no. Granny doesn't look like that.

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 11:44 pm

WTFFF???

Somebody photoshopped that Palin bitch's head onto my body!!

BarackMyWorld May 27, 2011 at 1:02 pm

Thas hawt~!

CountryClubJihadi May 27, 2011 at 1:03 pm

Fraudzilla Vs. The Tea Monster

Ducksworthy May 27, 2011 at 1:28 pm

That cracked me up.

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 11:45 pm

With the same sound effects of metallic screeching a la Gamera.

ManchuCandidate May 27, 2011 at 1:05 pm

Worst Lesbian Slash Fic… ever.

easynewz May 27, 2011 at 1:16 pm

Even worse than Lesbian Vampire Killers? Actually, it's not a bad flick; pretty funny.

Chet Kincaid May 27, 2011 at 1:08 pm

This post is nearly perfect. Well-done, Jr.

Worthly[♬♪♬♪♫♪♬]Skum May 27, 2011 at 1:11 pm

The linked "needy boys who have family issues" article doesn't appear on my main Wonkette page, just as a link from this article. Anyone else have this problem?

OneDollarJuana May 27, 2011 at 1:13 pm

White cotton crotchless-panty tickle fight is so much more appealing to the men.

PhilippePetain May 27, 2011 at 1:17 pm

White cotton crotchless panty tickle fight covered in Mazola oil is so much more appealing to the men.

RadioJr. May 27, 2011 at 1:13 pm

This, of course, would make for an outstanding reality show: Two Crazy Cunts. OK, maybe we could tone down the title a little bit. How about, Two Conservative Cunts

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 11:45 pm

Two Cunts, One Office

easynewz May 27, 2011 at 1:19 pm

Ooh. Downfisty McTroll and his friends are here in force. 'Guess they hate when we make fun of their (tarnished) idols. Upfists for all my peeps!

SheriffRoscoe May 27, 2011 at 1:21 pm

Picture it. Michele and Sarah colliding. The husbands are there too, jerking off. Todd, watching the girls, Marcus, watching Todd.

chicken_thief May 27, 2011 at 1:30 pm

Nicely done, Sheriff!

Ducksworthy May 27, 2011 at 1:32 pm

But Marcus is a Christian Counselor. So you know he can't be ghey.

Chet Kincaid May 27, 2011 at 1:54 pm

He volunteered to carry Todd's luggage.

Ducksworthy May 27, 2011 at 1:24 pm

Sick. Thank you.

Redhead May 27, 2011 at 1:28 pm

"But can we be forgiven (no) for thinking maybe it would be nice if a popular Republican lady politician was known for something beyond ejecting babies from her hips, having big hair and being a laughably dumb bigot?"

That's not fair junior. She's also known for quitting everything she ever started halfway through and managing to turn anything that happens anywhere into a way for her to get attention and simultaneously scream about how she's the victim of the lamestream media's paying attention to her.

KeepFnThatChicken May 27, 2011 at 1:39 pm

What a fantastic assessment. I would never have thought of Sarah's own head as her own echo chamber, but you spelled it out.

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 11:54 pm

"managing to turn anything that happens anywhere into a way for her to get attention and simultaneously scream about how she's the victim of the lamestream media's paying attention to her"

This reminds me of an article in the Onion titled, "Stop Staring at My Implants!"

proudgrampa May 27, 2011 at 1:28 pm

OK. I've been doing research on possible titles for this "match made in heaven." How about these:

"But I'm a Cheerleader."
"Kinky Boots."
"Queens."
"Domestic Partners."
"Die, Mommie, Die."

DaSandman May 27, 2011 at 1:31 pm

It's the pornification of America.

A political movement based around a group of old white guys fapping to an imagined Palin/Bachmann lesbo pillow fight.

That's gotta be it, cause no one in their right fucking mind can think these two will be anything but a disaster in power

grizzlyalbert May 27, 2011 at 1:32 pm

Debate to be settled “Ultimate Surrender” style – the winner gets to fuck the loser with a strap-on onstage.

LiveToServeYa May 27, 2011 at 1:35 pm

Oh, the race to the bottom is on.

Peace in our time May 27, 2011 at 1:37 pm

Bottom-grabbing is one of my favorites!

BZ1 May 27, 2011 at 1:38 pm

dream team: Stupid and I'm with stupid…

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 11:47 pm

It makes me wish they'd run Ford and Quayle in '00.

DerrickWildcat May 27, 2011 at 1:39 pm

This will be bigger than when Peanut Butter collided with Fluff!

Smitros May 27, 2011 at 1:43 pm

Something has to give.

Otherwise they will split the "And a Crazy Telegenic White Woman Will Lead Them" vote.

DerrickWildcat May 27, 2011 at 1:53 pm

I hate to break the news, but Sarah isn't going to run. She would have to give up so much. Like being held accountable for all the crazy things she says. Actually having to do something. Having Fox pay for all of her shit. Debate with actual people face to face in an environment that she doesn't control. Learn something…

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 11:48 pm

It would be both horrifying and funny, like watching Mr. Burns try to use the telephone.

owhatever May 27, 2011 at 1:59 pm

A wonderful debate will follow.
Bitch! Obamacare.
Cow! Support our troops.

Chet Kincaid May 27, 2011 at 2:09 pm

Duh! "Progressive"!

ShiftyParadigm May 27, 2011 at 2:29 pm

And then grunt “Reagan” to each other, while tenderly rubbing Mazola on their liver spots?

The force is strong with this one, Ken.

user-of-owls May 27, 2011 at 2:36 pm

They're both MILKs: Mothers I'd Like to Kick.

axmxz May 27, 2011 at 2:52 pm

Only one question remains: will they collide in a pit full of mud or Jello?

C_R_Eature May 27, 2011 at 2:53 pm

Downfisters must be used to solo, repetitive, one handed self-gratifying actions that are ultimately without meaning.

C_R_Eature May 27, 2011 at 3:01 pm

Urgh.

One Audience, One Bucket.

di_da_is_alpha May 27, 2011 at 5:15 pm

"Um." "Uh." You sound like like a four year old with all of your, "oh"s and "um"s at the start of a sentence. You lie, too

Where did I say I thought wonKKKette Jr is Stuef? I asked if it was a possibility, insect. I didn't state it as a fact.

Also … http://search.yahoo.com/r/_ylt=A0oGdSKXEuBN4VoAMi

Of course, you'll come back with …. "Um, like, uh, you know, southern strategy. Um, yeah, southern strategy, what about that, huh?"

It's bullshit, dumbass. …. http://search.yahoo.com/r/_ylt=A0oGdXayE.BNz34Ag2

The democrat party was and still is the party of slavery, they just changed their tactics.

SorosBot May 28, 2011 at 10:36 am

Uh, your silly links take me to "This link is not authorized by Yahoo!". It looks like those page have been deleted – I wonder why? Coming from an overt racist and liar like you, I have no doubt it's a bunch of racist lies.

JackObin May 27, 2011 at 6:03 pm

Two stupid, scolding cunts. A rarity to find that species here in god's country.

predilectrix May 27, 2011 at 10:33 pm

Les mots justes.

ShaveTheWhales May 27, 2011 at 6:54 pm

Didn't Hawk change his mind?

ShaveTheWhales May 27, 2011 at 6:55 pm

Emotion.

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 11:41 pm

Shorter: Palin's never been friends with anyone.

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 11:43 pm

Flo is a republican?

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 11:50 pm

I think Sarah's crossed the line from conceit, to actual, hospitalizably nuts, megalomania.
Look at that picture if you think I'm kidding.

Negropolis May 28, 2011 at 1:30 am

I'd like to collide with Palinbach…in my car, head-on, 70 MPH.

ttommyunger May 28, 2011 at 12:40 pm

I smell an epic adventure flick: "When Twats Collide!".

UW8316154 May 30, 2011 at 7:21 pm

No need to bring Eric Massa into this.

UW8316154 May 30, 2011 at 7:33 pm

Ken -this Junior is a keeper. Pleeeze Dad, can we keep him?

lulzmonger May 31, 2011 at 5:59 am

Least appealing. Scissoring scene. EVAR.

As someone who ran for VP last time, Sarah "ETHICS CODE BUSTS = BLOOD LIBEL" Palin has raw snake-brain appeal. Bachmann's claim to fame at present is her avoiding a debate with a teenage girl, also Our Lady Of The Psychopathic Stare has nowhere near the lust for attention or media juice that Sarahcuda has.

It would be a moot catfight, anyway – there has to be a pretty heinous over/under on the GOP putting forward a successful candidate for Warlord-In-Chief without a willie.

ShaveTheWhales May 27, 2011 at 6:56 pm

'Cause it's ten yards if he does.

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