crash

Right Wing Website Fantasizes About Palin Colliding Into Bachmann

Which one goes under the bus?Fun webzine NewsMax mostly sends the Wonkette tips line weird spam about timeshares and sex pills, but it also posts lots of made-up news about middle-aged pinups Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann. Apparently, there can be only one sexy grandma in the Republican Party — it’s kind of just for old white dudes who completely plan to become rich someday soon, somehow — so the thought of Sarah Palin renting a tour bus in D.C. while Michele Bachmann plans to visit her mythological birthplace beneath a soybean silo in Iowa, well that’s just too much. Will they collide? And then grunt “Reagan” to each other, while tenderly rubbing Mazola on their liver spots?

There’s certainly something to be said for Republican geezers using their sexytime thoughts on people who are somewhere in their general age group, and it’s always a relief to hear about old right-winger fellows doing the hubba-hubba about a lady rather than “needy boys who have family issues.” But can we be forgiven (no) for thinking maybe it would be nice if a popular Republican lady politician was known for something beyond ejecting babies from her hips, having big hair and being a laughably dumb bigot? [NewsMax]

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Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • OC_Surf_Serf

    Grifter v. Bat-Shit Crazy: As wearing as a Republican's morning jacket…

  • Sassomatic

    PILLOW FIGHT!!!!!!!

    • HistoriCat

      "Why don't you two fight over me and I'll stand over here and take pictures?"

  • memzilla

    Mooselini collides with Crazy Eyes…. and there's Santorum all over the highway!

    • Swampgas_Man

      And there was BS, BS, over Thunder Road
      Drivin' was his livin' and white racists were his load
      And there were bimbos, bimbos, to quench the Devil's thirst.
      The law they swore they'd get 'em but the Wonkette got 'em first.

  • Barb

    "If Bachmann and Palin get in, that's two bimbos. And there there's Mitt Romney, the millionaire and Newt Gingrich, a professor. We just need a skipper and a buddy and we've got 'Gilligan's Island.'" —Bill Maher

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      So who plays Mrs. Howl?

      • nounverb911

        All of them, Katie.

      • flamingpdog

        Any Alaskan wolf bitch that Mooselini hasn't shot from a helicopter yet.

      • chicken_thief

        Are you suggesting that Lindsay Graham run?!

    • Callyson

      Well, T – Paw is a ringer for Gilligan. But for the skipper…hmmm, that could be hard since this train wreck that is the GOP field of 2012 appears ready to sail far, far away, never to be heard from again. Or so I hope.

      • proudgrampa

        Oh, Newt is the Skipper! Hell, Gingrich and Alan Hale look like twins separated at birth!

      • baconzgood

        NEWT is fat enough.

    • DeeJayKitteh

      For some reason Huckabee keeps popping to mind for the Skipper. But that might just be because he's fat.

    • memzilla

      Chris Christie as The Skipper.

      • chicken_thief

        Alan Hale was heavy, Chris Christie is motherfucking disgustingly fat. Christie should be cast as the island.

    • Geminisunmars

      Couldn't we resurrect Fred Thompson for the Skipper? And I see Barbara (Mrs. G H W) Bush as Mrs. Howel, altho not running for anything I'm sure.

      • AJW@[redacted]

        I refuse to call her Lovie

      • lulzmonger

        Babs/Mama Griz 2012 – "ON TOP OF THE WORLD, MA!"

    • Come here a minute

      Herman Cain was the Skipper of S.S. Godfather, the Minnow of the pizza franchises.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Every so often, Maher makes me forgive his stupider side.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    This is just masturbation material. You still dance with the one that brought you.

  • nounverb911

    Mmmm. Cannibalism at its best

  • Buzz Feedback

    Bumpin' donuts.

  • Sassomatic

    In Palin's defense, she is also known for shooting wolves from helicopters.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    I think the oldsters hope their lips & boobs are on a collision course. Forget the star bursts–that would make Rich Lowry's pants explode.

  • baconzgood

    "Starting to butt heads"

    "Staring two butt-heads"

    (FIXED)

    • Ducksworthy

      Win

    • SorosBot

      Then who's Bevis? Ron Paul?

  • OC_Surf_Serf

    Fucking happy there has never been two men running for president at the same time…

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      Hell, Deval Patrick would be a great contender for 2016 if it weren't for…you know.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        Wow, I guess SpankingMyPP and AlphaDiddle really can't stand the thought of another nigra from Chicago running for President!

        But I'm putting down a marker now for the inevitably stupid Politico article that will ask in 2014, "Deval Compelling, But Does Nation Have 'Black President Fatigue'?"

  • http://www.acepilots.com/wwi/can_bishop.html WABishop

    If you have Ann Coulter moderating the debate, your Republican young man will spend all weekend in his room.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      If you have Ann Coulter Paul Ryan moderating the debate, your Republican young man will spend all weekend in his room.

      Fixed

      • PsycWench

        If you have Ann Coulter Paul Ryan Aaron Schock moderating the debate, your Republican young man will spend all weekend in his room.

        More fixed.

        • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

          If you have Ann Coulter Paul Ryan Aaron Schock moderating the debate, your Republican young man will spend all weekend in his room with a keg of Jurgens and a stack of towels.

          Fixedest.

    • SenileAgitation

      Twirling the cylinder of his revolver wondering why he feels so ashamed when he looks at Mitt Romney.

    • AJW@[redacted]

      Or that other one, the one Ed Schultz called a word-slut the other day.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        The one who really is a female.

        • tessiee

          So, not Ann Coulter, then.

    • tessiee

      "your Republican young man will spend all weekend in his room"

      And this is different from every other weekend — how?

  • http://thethingsrepublicanshate.com/ Chillwaver

    "Let the scissoring begin!"
    — Koch Bros.

    • pdiddycornchips

      "Gotta be careful with scissors"

      Butters from Southpark

  • Badonkadonkette

    Will they collide?

    Will Bachmann Be Nailin' Palin?

    • Crank_Tango

      Bachmann turn'er over, drive!

    • Neoyorquino

      Drill, baby, drill.

  • fuflans

    i will quit drinking if this happens.

    oh wait. no i won't.

    • proudgrampa

      Sir or Madam –

      I do not ever want to hear "quit" and "drinking" in the same sentence, ever, again! Understood?

      Love,

      proudgrampa

    • DashboardBuddha

      I don't drink any more…I don't drink any less either.

    • angryclownspawn

      Pretty sure I will be drinking more.

    • Swampgas_Man

      I'll start drinking earlier in the day if this happens.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    I can only hope that when they collide they are both driving nitroglycerin trucks.

    • nounverb911
      • Geminisunmars

        "Why else would a grown man be playing with model trains, except to blow them up?" I always thought Gomez was a Republican.

        • Gomez571

          Take that back!

  • flamingpdog

    Isn't it time to declare peace and deactivate those old SAM [Sarah And Michele] missiles once and for all?

  • Fukui_sanYesOta

    Ah, the Large Hairdo Collider, attempting to discover which of the two is more dense.

    • V572..whatever

      So funny! So upfistable!

      • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

        What about the Large Redneck Hardon Collider? It's obviously affected by the vapid Bumpitsphere.

    • OC_Surf_Serf

      They both are indeed Quantum Contradictions…extremely dense and yet full of hot air simultaneously…

    • Sophist[Kochblocker]

      Damn you! Beat me by one minute.

      You're going on the list…

    • OneDollarJuana

      If they run against each other it might be a case of Schrodinger's Catfight.

      • Negropolis

        WIN

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      Appropriate, since all the Palin baby names could be new sub-atomic particles. Ridiculous sub-atomic particles.

      • Negropolis

        I can see it now…Gluon Palin, Up/Down/Charm/Strange Quark Palin, Higgs Boson Palin, and the list goes on. It's scary how these sound like perfect names for future Palin children.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      The LHC deserves immortality. Is there a Wonkette Hall of Fame? 'Cause, fuck.

      I could speak of quantum white holes, or the Bozo Piggs, or how they'll fight over which one gets to be the superpartner, but these are merely derivative nerd jokes.

      All praise to the Large Hairdo Collider.

      • tessiee

        "I could speak of quantum white holes, or the Bozo Piggs, or how they'll fight over which one gets to be the superpartner, but these are merely derivative nerd jokes"

        There really is something in science called the Bozo Piggs?
        The things I miss being a Book Geek.

        • ShaveTheWhales

          Sorry, really late.

          There is a thing (maybe) called the Higgs Boson.

          Not my best pun.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    The stupidity explosion after these two collided would make the Tōhoku earthquake seem minor in comparison.

    • Swampgas_Man

      And the sub-atomic particles released would be about the size of the average Republican brain.

  • Callyson

    …can we be forgiven (no) for thinking maybe it would be nice if a popular Republican lady politician was known for something beyond ejecting babies from her hips, having big hair and being a laughably dumb bigot?
    Millicent Fenwick is rolling over in her grave…

    • tessiee

      Although, to be strictly accurate, she was best known for smoking a pipe.

      (oh, I didn't mean it THAT way, you buncha pervs!)

  • Oblios_Cap

    Me-ouch! Cat Fight!

  • Sue4466

    Palin/Bachmann 2012

    Bachmann/Palin 2012

    oh, fuckit, the order doesn't matter!

    Batshit/Crazy 2012

  • Sophist[Kochblocker]

    Someone call up CERN and ask what happens when two supercharged morons collide.

    • nounverb911

      The end of the republican party?

    • SorosBot

      If they collide fast enough the remains might get so dense as to form a black hole of stupidity.

      • Sophist[Kochblocker]

        You're telling me Bachmannnn and Palin could be denser than they already are?

        p.s. Now that I think about it, a collision between the two could only result in a lot of anti-matter, in that neither of them actually matter in any meaningful sense of the word.

      • OneDollarJuana

        They are already black holes. Information goes in, but never comes out. They shed no light. As you approach them, time seems to stretch to infinity. They leave destruction in their wakes. And as in most of the universe, they are at the centers of small Republican galaxies.

    • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

      Starbursts!

  • Papa_Uniform

    Can we get them to make a movie?

    • Oblios_Cap

      "Atlas Shrieked"?

    • nounverb911

      "Atlas Squirmished"?

      (I need to refresh the screen more often)

      • fuflans

        i FORGOT about squirmish.

        i LOVED squirmish.

    • SexySmurf

      Nailin' Palin 2 starring Michele "Bare" Backmann.

    • CliveWarren

      A remake of the last minute of Thelma & Louise?

    • Geminisunmars

      Two Easy Pieces?

    • jqheywood

      Bachman Grifter Overdrive?

    • tessiee

      Preferably a snuff film.

  • prommie

    They're just two needy girls with family issues.

    • nounverb911

      Needs more illegitimate grandchildren.

    • Steverino247

      Didn't take long for the meme to arrive here. Good work!

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      Does that mean the Kochs are secretly the Bang Bros.?

      • bagofmice

        That movie would suck.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Will they collide? And then grunt “Reagan” to each other, while tenderly rubbing Mazola on their liver spots?

    Which one dons the strap on when they're done with the Mazola? My money's on Bachmann since she's already used to doing it at home with the hubby.

    • Twinklesnot

      Hahaha! This made me laugh out loud, because she is totally doing that.

      • tessiee

        What, you're implying that Silly Sarah doesn't give Tawwwd a good all-American peggin'?
        By golly, she does! You betcha! *wink*

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    If two masses of stupidity and craziness like this collide, will anything be able to escape the black hole of insanity that will be formed?

    • BTWBFDIMHO

      Nothing will escape, remember Newt's Third Law of Morons:

      For every moron there is an equal and opposite oxymoron.

    • proudgrampa

      This is a question only Hawking can answer.

    • bagofmice

      It just may be the event horizon of the wingularity.

      • Lionel[redacted]Esq

        I honestly wish I had thought of that one myself.

        • easynewz

          Turning and turning in the widening gyre
          The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
          Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
          Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
          The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
          The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
          The best lack all conviction, while the worst
          Are full of passionate intensity.

          • Ducksworthy

            The best lack all conviction, while the worst
            Are full of passionate intensity

            Kind of sums up our times too, doesn't it.

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

            That's why the Blood-Dimmed Tide lost the BCS title game on a fumble. The got-danged Center cannot hold!!

          • ShaveTheWhales

            'Cause it's ten yards if he does.

    • tessiee

      It's like the old SNL Super Fans question about what would happen if Da Bulls ever played against Da Bears:

      Bob Swerski: Alright, contestants, here we go. The Final Quiz Masters question is: "Bears vs. Bulls."
      "The senseless waste of pitting these two mighty forces of nature against each other, like matter vs. anti-matter, will be a tragedy, not only for the teams involved.." [ flips card over ] "..but for our planet. All nations must band together, to ensure that such a conflageration never takes place."

  • Callyson

    Also, I love how the article talks about how "sparks will fly" if these two women run. I guess when men compete against each other, they play by Marquess of Queensberry rules.
    (That is, unless the sparks to which they are referring are coming from the trousers of the old men who will watch the debates, hoping for a mudwrestling show…)

    • OneDollarJuana

      I think it's a typo. It should read: "Sporks will fly"

    • DashboardBuddha

      "trousers of the old men"

      Large Hard-on Collider?

      • ShaveTheWhales

        Too ghey.

  • SayItWithWookies

    I hope if these potential candidates debate, they do it in a forum appropriate to their speaking abilities and intellectual heft. I'm thinking Jerry Springer.

  • Badrabbit

    If they're both in the next debate Newt Gingrich's opening comments will be:

    "I'm here to clean the pool."

    • SexySmurf

      And Herman Cain is delivering a hot, sausage pizza.

      • Badrabbit

        If Huckabee was a real patriot he'd jump in to provide a humpin' bass line.

        bomm-chicka-bomm-chicka-bowmmp!

        • chicken_thief

          Him and Ted jammin to "Cat Scratch Fever"!!!

      • easynewz

        "Hey lady did you order a pepperoni pizza? Well here's the pizza and here's the pepperoni!" [ziiiiiiiip]
        "Margaret, look, look, that looks like your grandfather eating ice cream!"

      • OneDollarJuana

        Mitt will strap on his rubber gloves again.

    • http://thethingsrepublicanshate.com/ Chillwaver

      Their Gene Pool? Wouldn't Newt make it worse?

  • Ducksworthy

    Lets settle this the old fashioned way. Neked Jello wrestling. I think one look at these decaying bimbos in the buff and America would finally turn its eyes away in disgust.

  • SorosBot

    They're both crazy and stupid, but Palin is a bit more stupid than crazy, while Bachmann is a bit more crazy than stupid. So the teabaggers will have to choose between their love of fellow morons and the batshit insane.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      In unison: "YOU COMPLETE ME!!!!!!"

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Sadly, neither of them is really stupid or really crazy. They're both natural grifters whose chances have blossomed because of the Republican Party's desperate need to have some female presence.

  • Golfing_OJ

    Dingfuck FUCKHEAD Bachmann won't even feel it when Trig's pretend mom bashes her over that empty skull with an antique King James, and then the bras come off, everyone fucking pukes up their breakfast, the end.

  • Grief_Lessons

    "Will they collide? And then grunt “Reagan” to each other, while tenderly rubbing Mazola on their liver spots? "

    This settles it. Drop the alias, Wonkette Jr, you're a keeper.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      I see so many resonances…the vivid disgust of Benincasa, the dissapointed innocence of Waggaman, the Onion-strong pungency of Stuef…is Jr. the product of some horrible genetic experiment of Layne's?! The Human Wonkipede?!

  • DeeJayKitteh

    I guess we'll find the answer to that age old question of what will happen when immovable ignorance meets unstoppable stupidity.

    • tessiee

      Very much like when Reagan answered George Carlin's question: What happens when a really stupid person goes senile?

  • SorosBot

    I would like to see their buses on a collision course. OK, not really; I'd like to see one of them get the nomination so Obama can have a 63%-37% blowout reelection.

  • Mumbletypeg

    "Will they collide?"

    Oh lord. Republicans, shore up your impending losses. It's all over but the floutin'.

  • Boredw/Gravitas

    "Will they collide?" It'll be like the meeting of Gozor and Zuul. With Newt playing the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man.

  • lowaltflier

    Mazola for liver spots? HMMMM! Okay. Thanks JR.

    • riverside68

      Needs mor mazola, crisco also

  • DashboardBuddha

    The irresistible farce meets the immovable oddball

    Two girls, one primary…

  • Oblios_Cap

    "What is it really when they're fallin over
    Everything that you thought is denied
    I'm gonna be the one that's takin over
    Now this is what it's like when worlds dolts collide"

  • Troubledog

    Wait until Patti Davis enters the race with her "Hot Daughters Of Reagan" calendar.

  • metamarcisf

    According to the Science Channel, when matter and anti-matter collide, total annihilation occurs. Now, what happens when "doesn't matter" collides with "who gives a sweet shit" is anybody's guess.

    • WhatTheHolyHeck

      The reaction creates a new subatomic particle, the Moron.

    • mourningnmerica

      Met, you're almost up to minus double digits. Keep goin' !!!

  • bordo2

    I'm kinda with Callyson on the idea that two women can't be in the same presidential race. It is sexist. But, Jesus on a popsicle stick, why does it have to be these two women? Aren't there some intelligent Republican women of accomplishment? Or are the right-wing fan boys so shallow they will only follow reasonably attractive middle-aged ladies? Oh, wait. I just answered my own question.

    • OneDollarJuana

      Actually, Dr. Laura seems to be very intelligent, has been pretty successful, and is to the right of Attila the Hun. But Republican men are terrified of women like her (i.e., having brains) so she will never go anywhere politically.

      • tessiee

        Putting an intelligent woman in front of Republicans is like showing a cross to a vampire.

  • bigdupa

    Tits or GTFO!… there I said it

    • bagofmice

      If I could only channel fourth such fonts of wisdom…

    • tessiee

      I have a feeling you don't really want to see *those* tits.

  • mavenmaven

    I'd be happy to watch this collision, but please, please, don't make me LISTEN to their harpy screechings…

    • Crank_Tango

      i think it would be good sped up with the benny hill music over it.

      • mavenmaven

        yakkety baggers?

        • tessiee

          Yakkety skanks.

    • C_R_Eature

      Editing in a Yoko Ono soundtrack would make it much more relaxing.

  • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Oh–c'mon.. You know they're going to end up being the best of friends!

    Nails/Chalkboard 2012

  • neiltheblaze

    Can hardly wait for the mud-wrestling contest!

    • Ducksworthy

      That will be at the Iowa state fair.
      (only they use pig manure for the mud)

      • neiltheblaze

        Completely apropos.

  • hagajim

    They should settle it via wet T-shirt contest.

    • chicken_thief

      Waterboarding tends to get the entire upper torso wet. Jes sayin…..

  • DahBoner

    Isn't Grandma supposed to be making pickles and Thanksgiving dinner and not running around tweeting nonsense and shooting Mooseburgers from submarines?

  • gullywompr

    Hmm, decisions, decisions….

  • easynewz

    …and their camps are starting to butt heads, Politico reports.

    …and their camps are starting two buttheads…

    /fixed

    • easynewz

      Doh! Baconzgood beat me to it….

  • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

    At the next Repubican debate there could be a lot of boobs on stage. A lot.

    • Peace in our time

      That would make it a DDebate.

      • bagofmice

        Each one is a three-fer.

    • gullywompr

      And a couple of stupid women. Also.

  • RadioJr.

    I always forget, which one has more street cred?

  • http://www.wonkette.com Pres[EXTERMINATE!!]

    Why does this make me hot for some reason? Am I mentally ill?

    • Geminisunmars

      No. Just Republican.

      • http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Armus UpFistTroll

        And the difference is…

    • bagofmice

      Talk about a straight line…

  • zappadoo76

    And then grunt “Reagan” to each other, while tenderly rubbing Mazola on their liver spots?

    Mazola? Does that work? And do you have to chant, "Reagan," or can you skip that part?

  • MrFizzy

    I'm waiting for the shower scene before I decide who to vote for.

    • Peace in our time

      That would be golden!

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      Who's stabbing who?

      • MrFizzy

        I could see this as a pulp fiction kind of thing, with soaping of breasts then some stabbing. God how excellent would it be to see them slash each other up?

  • x111e7thst

    Yetch!

  • NadePaulKuciGravMcKi

    Sarah Palin
    v
    Michele Bachmann

    "Get Off The Cross, We Could Use The Wood"
    http://www.freakingnews.com/Get-Off-The-Cross-We-

    • Ducksworthy

      If that's what Palin's actual body looked like I could consider that a reason for her existence. But sadly no. Granny doesn't look like that.

    • tessiee

      WTFFF???

      Somebody photoshopped that Palin bitch's head onto my body!!

  • BarackMyWorld

    Thas hawt~!

  • CountryClubJihadi

    Fraudzilla Vs. The Tea Monster

    • Ducksworthy

      That cracked me up.

    • tessiee

      With the same sound effects of metallic screeching a la Gamera.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Worst Lesbian Slash Fic… ever.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    This post is nearly perfect. Well-done, Jr.

  • Worthly[♬♪♬♪♫♪♬]Skum

    The linked "needy boys who have family issues" article doesn't appear on my main Wonkette page, just as a link from this article. Anyone else have this problem?

  • OneDollarJuana

    White cotton crotchless-panty tickle fight is so much more appealing to the men.

    • PhilippePetain

      White cotton crotchless panty tickle fight covered in Mazola oil is so much more appealing to the men.

  • RadioJr.

    This, of course, would make for an outstanding reality show: Two Crazy Cunts. OK, maybe we could tone down the title a little bit. How about, Two Conservative Cunts

    • tessiee

      Two Cunts, One Office

  • easynewz

    Ooh. Downfisty McTroll and his friends are here in force. 'Guess they hate when we make fun of their (tarnished) idols. Upfists for all my peeps!

  • SheriffRoscoe

    Picture it. Michele and Sarah colliding. The husbands are there too, jerking off. Todd, watching the girls, Marcus, watching Todd.

    • chicken_thief

      Nicely done, Sheriff!

    • Ducksworthy

      But Marcus is a Christian Counselor. So you know he can't be ghey.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        He volunteered to carry Todd's luggage.

  • Ducksworthy

    Sick. Thank you.

  • Redhead

    "But can we be forgiven (no) for thinking maybe it would be nice if a popular Republican lady politician was known for something beyond ejecting babies from her hips, having big hair and being a laughably dumb bigot?"

    That's not fair junior. She's also known for quitting everything she ever started halfway through and managing to turn anything that happens anywhere into a way for her to get attention and simultaneously scream about how she's the victim of the lamestream media's paying attention to her.

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      What a fantastic assessment. I would never have thought of Sarah's own head as her own echo chamber, but you spelled it out.

    • tessiee

      "managing to turn anything that happens anywhere into a way for her to get attention and simultaneously scream about how she's the victim of the lamestream media's paying attention to her"

      This reminds me of an article in the Onion titled, "Stop Staring at My Implants!"

  • proudgrampa

    OK. I've been doing research on possible titles for this "match made in heaven." How about these:

    "But I'm a Cheerleader."
    "Kinky Boots."
    "Queens."
    "Domestic Partners."
    "Die, Mommie, Die."

  • DaSandman

    It's the pornification of America.

    A political movement based around a group of old white guys fapping to an imagined Palin/Bachmann lesbo pillow fight.

    That's gotta be it, cause no one in their right fucking mind can think these two will be anything but a disaster in power

  • grizzlyalbert

    Debate to be settled “Ultimate Surrender” style – the winner gets to fuck the loser with a strap-on onstage.

  • LiveToServeYa

    Oh, the race to the bottom is on.

    • Peace in our time

      Bottom-grabbing is one of my favorites!

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    dream team: Stupid and I'm with stupid…

    • tessiee

      It makes me wish they'd run Ford and Quayle in '00.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    This will be bigger than when Peanut Butter collided with Fluff!

  • http://jdsmithwriter.blogspot.com Smitros

    Something has to give.

    Otherwise they will split the "And a Crazy Telegenic White Woman Will Lead Them" vote.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    I hate to break the news, but Sarah isn't going to run. She would have to give up so much. Like being held accountable for all the crazy things she says. Actually having to do something. Having Fox pay for all of her shit. Debate with actual people face to face in an environment that she doesn't control. Learn something…

    • tessiee

      It would be both horrifying and funny, like watching Mr. Burns try to use the telephone.

  • owhatever

    A wonderful debate will follow.
    Bitch! Obamacare.
    Cow! Support our troops.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Duh! "Progressive"!

  • ShiftyParadigm

    And then grunt “Reagan” to each other, while tenderly rubbing Mazola on their liver spots?

    The force is strong with this one, Ken.

  • user-of-owls

    They're both MILKs: Mothers I'd Like to Kick.

  • axmxz

    Only one question remains: will they collide in a pit full of mud or Jello?

  • C_R_Eature

    Downfisters must be used to solo, repetitive, one handed self-gratifying actions that are ultimately without meaning.

  • C_R_Eature

    Urgh.

    One Audience, One Bucket.

  • di_da_is_alpha

    "Um." "Uh." You sound like like a four year old with all of your, "oh"s and "um"s at the start of a sentence. You lie, too

    Where did I say I thought wonKKKette Jr is Stuef? I asked if it was a possibility, insect. I didn't state it as a fact.

    Also … http://search.yahoo.com/r/_ylt=A0oGdSKXEuBN4VoAMi

    Of course, you'll come back with …. "Um, like, uh, you know, southern strategy. Um, yeah, southern strategy, what about that, huh?"

    It's bullshit, dumbass. …. http://search.yahoo.com/r/_ylt=A0oGdXayE.BNz34Ag2

    The democrat party was and still is the party of slavery, they just changed their tactics.

    • SorosBot

      Uh, your silly links take me to "This link is not authorized by Yahoo!". It looks like those page have been deleted – I wonder why? Coming from an overt racist and liar like you, I have no doubt it's a bunch of racist lies.

  • JackObin

    Two stupid, scolding cunts. A rarity to find that species here in god's country.

    • predilectrix

      Les mots justes.

  • ShaveTheWhales

    Didn't Hawk change his mind?

  • ShaveTheWhales

    Emotion.

  • tessiee

    Shorter: Palin's never been friends with anyone.

  • tessiee

    Flo is a republican?

  • tessiee

    I think Sarah's crossed the line from conceit, to actual, hospitalizably nuts, megalomania.
    Look at that picture if you think I'm kidding.

  • Negropolis

    I'd like to collide with Palinbach…in my car, head-on, 70 MPH.

  • ttommyunger

    I smell an epic adventure flick: "When Twats Collide!".

  • UW8316154

    No need to bring Eric Massa into this.

  • UW8316154

    Ken -this Junior is a keeper. Pleeeze Dad, can we keep him?

  • lulzmonger

    Least appealing. Scissoring scene. EVAR.

    As someone who ran for VP last time, Sarah "ETHICS CODE BUSTS = BLOOD LIBEL" Palin has raw snake-brain appeal. Bachmann's claim to fame at present is her avoiding a debate with a teenage girl, also Our Lady Of The Psychopathic Stare has nowhere near the lust for attention or media juice that Sarahcuda has.

    It would be a moot catfight, anyway – there has to be a pretty heinous over/under on the GOP putting forward a successful candidate for Warlord-In-Chief without a willie.