Has the Pope stamped out the organizational problem of pedophilia, yet? Umm … check back in a few years, maybe, when all these creepy hundred-year-old child diddlers have died and gone to heaven?
GENOA – The latest sex-abuse case to rock the Catholic Church is unfolding in the archdiocese of an influential Italian Cardinal who has been working with Pope Benedict XVI on reforms to respond to prior scandals of pedophile priests.
Father Riccardo Seppia, a 51-year-old parish priest in the village of Sastri Ponente, near Genoa, was arrested last Friday, May 13, on pedophilia and drug charges. Investigators say that in tapped mobile-phone conversations, Seppia asked a Moroccan drug dealer to arrange sexual encounters with young and vulnerable boys. “I do not want 16-year-old boys but younger. Fourteen-year-olds are O.K. Look for needy boys who have family issues.”
Thanks (?) to “Blair M.” for the priestly tip! [CNN WorldCrunch]
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The Catholic church should really develop a code of ethics about this pedophilia stuff. I dunno, something like the bible.
Where in the Bible does it say you can't tap some vulnerable 14 year old???? Huh, huh???
Where in the Bible does it say you can't tap some vulnerable 14 year old boy in the ass, and coerce him to keep this quiet forever, all the while explaining in group that all sexual activity before marriage is bad????
Rectified. And fuck the church.
Where in the Bible does it say you can't tap some vulnerable 14 year old boy in the ass, and coerce him to keep this quiet forever, all the while explaining in group that all sexual activity before marriage is bad????
…and sexual activity between two consenting adults who happen to be of the same-sex is a sin.
I am proposing that those who are so adamantly against rights for Ghey's because of some obscure shit in the Bible be re-categorized as Leviticans. They've given poor Jeebus a bad name for too long now. And no shrimp for them either.
I dunno — if after two thousand years of trying, the Bible's most ardent proponents still can't scrape together a shred of a moral, I'd say scrap the fucker. Really, if the Bible is supposed to teach good, and people seem no less barbaric now than they were two millennia ago — tradition is not sufficient justification for continuing thousands of years of moral failure.
Wow…. I'm going to use that argument when/where it ever comes up. You're absolutely right.
To be fair they do turn to the Bible in these sort of cases:
Priest: "Altar boy, pick that Bible up off the floor."
Altar boy: "Yes Father … what the … OOWWW!"
… or at least a sign-up list to keep things orderly.
Love the tag…
"yuck"
Has the Catholic Church made great strides in getting its house in order? Is the Pope Polish? Does the bear shit in the woods?
Does the Pope wear a funny hat? Does T.S. Eliot dare to eat a peach? Is Jesus the reason for the teasin'?
Does the Pope shit in the woods?
Does the Pope shit in his hat?
Can you can save 15% or more on car insurance by switching to Gayco?
operative word: moron.
He's German, actually…
Is the Pope hiding something?
yeah, a salami in yo butt
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
The pope's pedophilia watchdog is in fact a pedophile? That seems as unlikely as a senator who votes agains laws protecting gays and turns out to be a flaming closet case.
What are the odds of that happening? That seems far fetched. Rein in your reckless speculation.
Not even Condi Rice could have predicted this!
If my reading of the above is correct, its a parish priest somewhere in the archdiocese under the auspices of the particular cardinal advising Benny16.
So, this is sort of like blaming the police commissioner (or maybe the attorney general) if a cop on the beat shoots an innocent bystander.
Not Wonkette's best reporting to date, but know, pedophile priests are always good for yuks.
If this post doesn't draw out Extemporanus, then we'll know he's Wonkette Jr.
Excellent point. Also, too, Le Caveman is correct.
This is a headline of almost Huffingtonian proportions.
Nevertheless, the Church sucks (and ass-fucks, evidently) on this matter.
'Cause, Wonkette is known for its sharp journalistic standards, right?
Sorry if Wonkette goes after your own personal golden calf every once in awhile. Sometimes, shit hits close to home, thank god.
Not my calf, but slaughtering it would have been funnier if there had been a grain of truth in it.
At the end, the original joke isn't even about a particular priest or bishop. It's about the tendency for people to persecute in others those personality traits that they most dislike in themselves.
The closeted homosexual social conservative is a cliche, but exemplifies a true facet of human nature. Many progressives could probably fruitfully reflect on whether they excoriate opposing political views out of reasoned intellectual opposition, or because they identify with them more than they'd like…
Dog bites man. Film at eleven.
"The pope's pedophilia watchdog is in fact a pedophile?"
No. The Pope's pedophilia advisor is the cardinal of an archdiocese where the pedophile priest had a parish. The cardinal probably didn't even know the guy.
I am not defending pedophilia or the rotten Catholic Church. I am just saying.
I read the headline wrong, but I also made a snarky comment. In the Wonkette heirarchy of verities I'm still way ahead of the game.
Truth is the first casualty of humor.
"…pedophile priests…"
Is there a point when media style guides will reject this phrase as redundancy?
Damn those '60s!
Thank you. As a product of the dreaded '60's I take full responsibility for turning the Catholic clergy into vicious sexual predators. It was all that peace and love that did it.
According to their report, somehow the increase in consenting adults not feeling shame for having sex even though they hadn't stood through a boring ceremony somehow magically made the priests all rape children. The magic must have traveled back in time too to make so many priests do so for the past thousand fucking years.
I lived those years, but I musta been doing it wrong. I hardly raped any children at all.
Vatican CYA tactics: A veritable pope-pourri of ill-begotten blunders.
Holy pope-on-a-rope.
Is that anything like priest on a pole?
Benedict's dream of "swinging" priests and mine are quite different.
"Look for needy boys who have family issues." I think that's also in the GOP's page program recruitment manual.
Ladies and gentlemen, your ambassadors for Christian love.
The Pope's pedophilia advisor? As in, advises Ratzinger on where and how to score the most vulnerable and juicy boys?
"Juicy". Ew.
Well, apparently.
Answer to where to score them: Morocco, of course.
That would explain Wonkette's favorite picture of the pope, the one with the evil leer.
Jesus fucking Christ, again?
Well, at least they aren't letting women become priests. That would be a bad thing…
Yes, that would undermine the historic authority of the Church.
And necessitate some kind of financial endowment to pay for all the strap-ons.
Women priests with strap-ons? Excuse me for a sec.
And at least they are keeping the lifelong vow of chastity and prohibition on masturbation. That seems to be working so well. Allowing male priests to be married and have sex within a marital relationship wouldn't work. No priest could be expected to actually have sex with just his wife. Just think of the scandal of adultery! Of divorce! Better to require that they not have sex at all and attract all the pedophiles to their ranks.
So unexpected, It's as if Autopen could write this story.
Word is that, in the wake of this arrest,the Catholic Church will show it is serious about the issue of paedophile priests by replacing the current 10 strikes and you're out policy with a harsher five strikes and you're out policy.
But it doesn't count as a "strike" unless there is an actual arrest and conviction. No arrest, no conviction, no problem!
Damn those vulnerable young boys with family issues who corrupted that nice Cardinal.
No, it was the Sixties that corrupted him! The Pope's own study said so.
All the songs of peace, love, and fucking vulnerable children from dysfunctional homes . . .
That's why the widely-misunderstood "Kumbaya" is really
"Come boy, yah, My Lord, Come boy, yah!
Oh, Lord, Come boy, yah…"
Also this post I think should have the sinister photo, the one where he looks like a Harry Potter villain, making the claws, the Pope.
Oh, what a turn of bad luck — just when the world's largest pedophilia network was about to gain some credibility by showing the world it could police itself. Well, the Pope should appoint someone to look into this immediately. By interviewing those hot, troubled underage boys.
They should probably just make that Moroccan drug dealer the Pope and have done with it. The incense during mass would certainly be more interesting.
GTFO! who would have thunk it?
So, when your leader is a man who wears dresses and fabulous hats…
Man on dog?
Don't forget the red shoes…
Gucci baby!!!
No, Prada.
You're in the FBI between 1935 and 1972.
Then you might be a homosexual (but not necessarily a pedeophile). Sorry, it had to be said.
You know who ELSE thought, "German, Polish, whatever?"
Joe Stalin?
Lili Von Shtupp?
more schnitzel gruben, my pet?
It's Twoo, it's Twoo!!
Mata Hari?
I think its about time that the Vatican shuts itself down and starts the all-time greatest rummage sale.
The altar boys would sell out in no time.
Hate to be a stickler, but this guy was looking for hot vulnerable 14 year olds and I believe the Pope has clarified that it's not pedophilia if the child is older than 10. So. Okay then.
The Vatican is NAMBLA.
Edited to say: DOWNFISTER, if you do your do in this thread, you're advocating child fuckers.
PAMBLA
Papal Authority etc etc
Hate to nitpick, but the
reachtentacles of the Church's extend far beyond North AmericaHah, you called it: Downsey just went through on a rampage of pedophilia/Catholic support!
She's right wing nut style Catholic. I've read her fetus loving child hating posts.
OF COURSE downfister advocates child fuckers.
Oh no, downfister, what're you going to do? PRESS A BUTTON ON ME? How's it feel to be so totally fucking impotent? God, I hope your little Cheeto fists are shaking in rage.
OK I just re-read the worm's mobile- text directive —
– and now the snark is off. A nausea-inducing fleck of sinister in a diseased mind. This guy was methodically predatory as Michael Devlin, who for a long time I couldn't imagine would be out-deviled, that sick fuck.
Yo dawg, we heard you like pedophilia so we put a pedophile in your pedophila so you can pedophile when you pedophile!
I think the Catholic hierarchy is willfully misinterpreting "Suffer little children to come unto me." Fucking assholes.
You misspelled "cum."
And you absolutely nailed it with "fucking assholes." So to speak.
Let he who is not a pederast cast the first stone.
(Baconz winding up holding a piece basalt)
Trebuchet!
There will be a bloodbath.
Father Seppia, I'm Chris Hansen.
Have a pew. Consecrated host?
WIN
HELP WANTED: Pedophilia Advisor. Must be able to advise Pope on Pedophilia and related matters. Experience is required. Send resume to: family_values@vatican.com
or call 1.800.14YEARS.
Penis goes in you go to jail. You can't explain it.
Actually, penis goes in, massive organization of extraordinary wealth and power keeps you out of jail. Can't explain it.
When you need advice about pedophilia, it pays to go to the experts. Accept no substitutes!
the land of bunga bunga just got a little grosser.
…and Silvio Berlusconi is probably thinking, "where do they get their energy? I'm worn out after shagging the ambassador's daughter!"
He's taking a page from the pimps and strip-clubs and porn producers, who target needy girls with family issues.
But if earnest gentlemen never waxed rhapsodic about the overwhelming beauty of young boobies, there'd be no market.
"like every father toward a son [feels] great pain in seeing a priest who is not faithful to his vocation."
Rot in hell you sanctimonious slimeball, interested only in protecting the institution, not caring about the 14 year old North African boys raped by his employee.
There is no form of execution gruesome enough for this priest.
Man will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest – Didirot.
Dang. Harsh. But fair.
How about a penectomy. But then I guess the sick jerk would find something else to use to rape a child.
I don't see a big problem here for Cathaholicks. Ratzi was in charge of the "child rape cover-up and pervert priest shuffle" department before he got his big promotion. SSDD.
It would not come as a surprise that Ratzi the Natzi is a child raper, what would surprise me is if they did anything about it.
Like Cheney, Rumsfeld et al, I want that motherfucker afraid to leave his country for fear of arrest – and his country is smaller than a square mile.
Yes, point taken, but you have to admit, having your own country is pretty bad-ass.
Hmmmm, maybe I should go with some other colloquialism…
I don't think child rape is a crime in the Bible. Man on Man is outlawed, but little boys is OK.
Little boys OK and up to 700 wives.
Good ole fashioned Bible values…
Talk about covering all your various pains in the ass.
Younger than 16 and you're good to go, apparently.
From the linked article: "This post is in partnership with Worldcrunch, a new global news site that translates stories of note in foreign languages into English. The article below was originally published in the leading Italian daily La Stampa."
In other words, Time is now produced by an autopen without human intervention. Oddly, no one noticed the change.
The church should just call these rape victims a miracle and be done with it. Nuns and devoted geebus-followers will flock to gawk at these bungholes that cry REAL human blood…
"The amazing choirboy-cornholes that attract Catholic priest penes like magnets"
Since it was anal rape, which doesn't count, they're all blessed virgins.
Not if MSM doesn't pick up the story — problem solved!
I'm guessing Padre Riki's going to be staying within the grounds of the Vatican for….ever.
Time to ask: Will No One Rid Me of This Meddlesome Priest?
Sorry Jr., I posted this under my byline. Fixed, and you can post on your own next week!
Let Jr. borrow the car this weekend, Ken, and we'll call it even.
Hooray for Jr.!!!
Congrats, now make us laugh laugh Jr.
Yay!
Everything feels more light-hearted and fun with "Yakety-Sax" on the soundtrack!
Indeed, I enjoy watching my copy of Triumph of the Will with the Yakety-Sax soundtrack.
Those that will, advise. Those that won't, don't.
Sounds like the Vatican is getting its regulatory advice from the GOP.
Another reason Ahnuld is not a "real" Republican.
This explains why Father Seppia used wine coolers for the sacramental wine.
Not stoning, but from the article it sounds like drugs were involved. So, more like "getting stoned."
That is just terrible. But Biblical nonetheless.
needy children with family issues? Just stop by the nearest catholic orphanage for some R and R. Club Med for priesty types.
It all started when Father Guido Sarducci ran for Pope in 1978 only to be derailed by rumors linking him to cattle mutilations in the southwest.
Well it may help needy children with family issues in Illinois now that Catholic Charities won't anymore:
Rather than allow unmarried people or same-sex couples to adopt or foster children, Catholic Charities of Rockford, Illinois announced Thursday that they would stop providing foster care services. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/05/26/catholic...
This was one of my favorite episodes.
That, the Mormon one (Dumb-dumb-dumb-du-dumb) and Tom Cruise in the Closet (Scientology) taught me all I need to know about religion.
Hey, he was doing his "job."
Hey there, Kiddies!
Remember, there's a big difference between Kneeling Down
and Bending Over.
Maybe the downfister is Bill Donahue
That would make a huge amount of sense, actually.
Father Seppia right up the butt.
Lol…like anyone would every find a witness…or even a body.
thanks to the Catholic church for making war-mongering right-wing white-trash Southern Baptists seem "moral"
duh, this is news? how many more Chris*ian advisers need to be outed to even create a ripple…
"Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, formerly know as the Inquisition"
Unfortunately, the new name doesn't work as well in song-and-dance routines.
I knew that "Senior Child Molestation Expert" title was going to be a problem
If you're keeping score at home, the the Catholic church is violently opposed to: (1) abortion; (2) contraception; (3) homosexuals; and (4) female priests…
…yet seems to care little about their priests fucking underage boys.
How's that for cognitive dissonance?
You know who else looked to a Moroccan source for their underage sexy time?
Silvio.
The cast and crew filming Ishtar?
Hey, it's not like he encouraged a woman to get an abortion!
The Catholic Church: making common adulterers look good since 305 A.D.
Where is the part when conservatives ask what political party this guy belongs to so they know whether to get mad or not about this incident?
Catholics that still are Catholic are the ones that should be shot. Hey, Catholics, what the fuck does it take? At what point do you say "Enough" and join some other form of organized religion?
You know, Catholics really take the brunt of this becaue they are highly organized and burearcratized, but I'd put money that this shit probably happens WAY more often in independent protestant churches (particularly non-denominational or fundi "bible" churches) and is less frequently reported, because their is no one to take this stuff to but the church pastor, who is usually the one doing it.
And they want to make the last pope a saint while all this kind of thing happened on his watch too? I wonder why.
The only way to stop his canonization is if he could be placed at the scene of the crime or associated with other priests, like Ratzi, who were involved or looked the other way while it happened. But we need absolute proof.
Inevitably, Don Riccardo’s arrest prompted contrasting responses in his diocese, with some of his parishioners defending him while others pointed out that in his 15 years in the parish he had earned himself the nickname “The Priest Of The Night”, because of his unorthodox night-time social life.
The "Priest of the Night"….
/shakes head
The Phantom of the Cathedral.
Also on further digging, this priest is be reported as being HIV+.
http://thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/papal-adviso...
Oh my god. That is so horrible, I can't even process it. I hope whatever molestation he was doing didn't involve blood transfer.
Fuck.
Well I'm sure the embarrassment and prospect of jail time will significantly dissuade anyone else from getting any funny ideas…problem solved!
This is like something right out of a poorly written movie. The characters aren't supposed to so blatantly state their intentions. This is not a Sears-Roebuck catalogue, Father Seppia. Who the fuck do you think you are, the Pope?
Well, the New Testament, which I'm led to believe is of some middling importance to some Christian groups, has some rather choice words for people who harm children. Of course, if we're using Republican Definitions, that only applies to "forcible" rape, so it's not a sin in this case because the victims didn't try hard enough to fight off their assailants. Biblical principles!
By "choice words" you must mean "other words" because I've
prayed and studieddone a google search and didn't come up with anything clear. If it's in there, I stand corrected and thank you.But, in general, the fundie Xtians have an annoying habit of inventing biblical precepts they wish were in there and ignoring the difficult passages. Slavery is OK by the Bible. Polygamy is approved. Merciless warfare. Death penalty for everything. Plus the worst-of-the-worst to the aforementioned fundies: Be nice, "judge not", share your wealth.
Well, for one, in Matthew 18 (and various copypasta in Mark and Luke) Jebus basically says that anyone who causes trouble for children would be better off sleeping with the fishes, spiritually. Most translations translate it as "any who leads one of these little ones to sin," etc, but this is one case where King James's obtuse "offend" might be more appropriate- the original word carried a connotation that linked sin and unhappiness. Which is why the word harm seems more appropriate. I mean, still not great, because it imputes some level of blame on the children themselves, but again, it features Jesus saying something that's the antiquity equivalent of saying someone should be fitted for cement shoes and sent to go sleep with the fishes.
Of course, many interpretations also hold "little ones" to be both metaphorical and literal, and to also be applicable to the poor, weak, and downtrodden, age notwithstanding. So, you know, class war.
I understand there is a bill in the Kentucky legislature that would define puberty as beginning at conception!
Puberty is life, therefore life is puberty. Life begins at conception therefore puberty begins at conception. It's all perfectly logical.
I believe the term in Italian is al dente.
[This joke contains 100% recycled content from The Colbert Report.]
If there is a Hell, and I'm about to find out before long, there is a special place for monsters like this.
>check back in a few years, maybe, when all these creepy hundred-year-old child diddlers have died and gone to heaven?
Reason 15 why I don't believe in God. Because the neighbors in heaven would seriously bite ass.
No, they're InternationalMBLA. Kinda like the IMF, but with a lust for young boys instead of immigrant, minimum-wage boobies.
Tony Alamo, too.
I've never seen the basis of religion so obviously spelt out: "Look for needy boys who have family issues.”
This is one of the best Wonkette headlines in history — and true, too!
You know I too would sometimes prefer a 14-year old to a 16-year old…but sometimes in this life you don't always get what you want.
Bingo. If you're quibbling over the fine points for broad satire, you're probably more personally invested in the issue being discussed than you should be for a site like Wonkette is all I'm saying.
LOL, all ____ are ____, amirite?
Next up: jokes about airline food.
Honest, I didn't me to get pissy about this this, but the headline-to-story disconnect on this one was so big. Maybe I was just disappointed the headline wasn't true, the lovely irony of it all dashed upon the rocks of boring reality.
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