ROBOTS RUNNING EVERYTHING  8:19 am May 27, 2011

From France, Obama Forces His Robot To Sign Patriot Act Renewal

by Wonkette Jr.

'Hi there, I wrote the Constitution!'Republicans and Democrats came together to oppose the renewal of the Patriot Act — which lets the government do literally whatever it wants to anyone, anywhere — and then other Republicans and Democrats came together in bigger numbers to approve the renewal of the Patriot Act. So if you were planning on doing anything vaguely terrorist-y like talking on the phone or using public transportation, rest assured that you are still under surveillance. But the interesting part of this story is that President Obama couldn’t sign the bill because he is in France, having a very lovely vacation. Couldn’t Joe Biden sign off? Apparently not! Plus, he is super busy returning Obama’s calls. So Barack Obama ordered his handwriting robot to sign the bill into law, and that’s apparently okey-dokey with the Constitution. A robot! Let’s hope it was at least assembled in the USA.

This little bit in the Los Angeles Times story gave us the chills:

Obama, attending an international summit in France, awoke early Friday to review and approve the bill, directing that it be signed in Washington by automatic pen before the provisions expired at midnight Thursday Eastern time.

Is this the same “automatic pen” that signs thousands of presidential photo prints every week? Does it even know what it signs? If you went on a White House tour and were all, “Just gotta run to the bathroom be right ba-a-a-ck” and then you swiped the Automatic Pen (it is probably about the size of a toy Wall-E, we imagine) and took it home and wrote a declaration of some kind (“I am the president of the world now and my castle shall be called El Mumbalumbia and I get $1 Billion a month in salary for being awesome”) and made Otto the Autopen sign it, would it be law too?

What if, just before those trained seals lasered the super-villain in Pakistan, the super-villain at the very last second pulled out Auto the Ottopen and had it sign a United States Executive Order giving asylum and a new motorhome to the super-villain?

Where are the so-called constitutional scholars when real world troubles like this are happening in Washington? What would our Founding Fathers say about this? Would they just say, “Oh hello, Le Ottopen,” because Benjamin Franklin invented this device in the 1780s (also in France) and maybe it actually wrote the whole Constitution? Even the floofy signatures? (Which we guess are more famous on the Declaration of Independence, which was also conceived and written by the Autopen.) [Los Angeles Times]

 
Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 158 comments }

SorosBot May 27, 2011 at 8:23 am

Great, now I'll have "No disassemble autopen! Autopen alive!!" stuck in my head for the rest of the day.

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 7:13 pm

[monotone voice]

i'm sorry dave. i'm afraid i can't do that.

DaSandman May 27, 2011 at 8:24 am

So our government is now run by Transformers?

Actually this explains a lot…

noodlesalad May 27, 2011 at 8:38 am

I think Biden is more of a Go-bot.

MARCdMan May 27, 2011 at 9:04 am

The Dems are Transformers, the GOP are GoBots.

horsedreamer_1 May 27, 2011 at 2:26 pm

The Dems are Autobots, the GOP are Decepticons*, & the Tea Party is that weird tribe started by the cast-off Decepticon (using vintage WWII tanks & people-movers).

*Not to be confused with DC ska band, the Decepticonz.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 27, 2011 at 9:04 am

Hey, if they're perfectly rational and programmed to make logical decisions, let's replace all Republicans with GOP-Bots. That'll solve 90% of our troubles, at least.

WhatTheHolyHeck May 27, 2011 at 1:16 pm

Screw rational, just replace all the GOP members of congress with robots that only know how to say "Fuck You" and we'll save millions in federal salary without affecting congressional effectiveness.

We wouldn't save on their health care, obvs, since it's already free.

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 7:14 pm

"We wouldn't save on their health care, obvs, since it's already free."

It's free for them, not for us.

WhatTheHolyHeck May 28, 2011 at 1:30 pm

Yes, that was the joke. See: Rob Woodall.
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/abraham/detai

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 7:15 pm

We could replace 90% of them with colorful rocks, and it would be an improvement. At least colorful rocks wouldn't do any harm.

SorosBot May 27, 2011 at 9:16 am

Let's see – Optimus' slogan is "Freedom is the right of all sentient beings." Nope, that doesn't sound like our government. But Megatron's "Peace through tyranny!" pretty much sums up 2001-2009.

Barb May 27, 2011 at 8:24 am

Soon there will be no unions, health care will consist of people just praying not to die and the GOP will get their wish of having sharks with laser beams. We're so screwed.

Negropolis May 28, 2011 at 1:04 am

It'll get to the point where we'll just be praying to die, praying for sweet, contented surrender.

Sue4466 May 27, 2011 at 8:26 am

I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords.

easynewz May 27, 2011 at 8:28 am

Do robots dream of electric sheeple?

deanbooth May 27, 2011 at 8:28 am

They warned us about Reverend Write.

noodlesalad May 27, 2011 at 8:31 am

Glad to see that, a decade after 9/11, and with OBL is dead and aquaburied, America still finds itself equipped with robot pens and neuticals.

easynewz May 27, 2011 at 8:35 am

Reports are being received that President Obama's signing-robot broke free of its restraints and went on a rampage, destroying White House property, terrifying the staff and threating all of mankind. Fortunately, the threat was curtailed when an alert Vice President Joe Biden disabled the cyborg by running it over with his Firebird. Witnesses say that Mr. Biden was heard shouting "You just got Bidened!" A grateful nation sends its thanks tonight to 'The Delaware Devil.'

chicken_thief May 27, 2011 at 11:10 am

Now that's a big fucking deal!

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 7:16 pm

This should totally be a movie.

YasserArraFeck May 27, 2011 at 8:37 am

This explains how a retard like GW managed to add more than an "X" to so many bills.

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 7:16 pm

His auto-pen was modified to cross out anything he didn't like and write, "NOT!!" in the margin.

memzilla May 27, 2011 at 8:37 am

How did Orly "Birfer" Taitz miss the Autopen Conspiracy?

chicken_thief May 27, 2011 at 11:12 am

Her and Jerome Corsi were locked in a mutual masturbation celebration over their – it's isn't the birth cert, it's Vattel's Law of Nations delusion!!!!

BaldarTFlagass May 27, 2011 at 8:38 am

They supported disapproval of the Patriot Act before they approved it. Where have I encountered this before?

Numbat_Dundee May 27, 2011 at 8:40 am

He's in France. He could have got Le Pen's daughter to sign it. She's both a fascist and (by definition) a Bic.

Negropolis May 28, 2011 at 1:05 am

WIN

Badonkadonkette May 27, 2011 at 8:41 am

What if, just before those trained seals lasered the super-villain in Pakistan, the super-villain at the very last second pulled out Auto the Ottopen and had it sign a United States Executive Order giving asylum and a new motorhome to the super-villain?

I think we just found the premise for a new season of 24.

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 7:17 pm

"trained seals lasered the super-villain"

???

I thought the sharks had the lasers.

Pragmatist2 May 27, 2011 at 8:41 am

This must be the same robot that created his fake birth certificate.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 27, 2011 at 9:01 am

I sort of wondered why O'Bama's long form had his signature on it.

FraAnima May 27, 2011 at 8:46 am

On October 12th the Autopen will become self-aware. Judgement Day.

jodyleek May 27, 2011 at 9:35 am

All your Bic are belong to us!

Angry_Marmot May 27, 2011 at 7:17 pm

I just assumed it was one of those remote controlled Japanese sex toys.

Arken May 27, 2011 at 8:49 am

Apparently automatic pens actually were what "the founders wanted"

From the wikipedia article on them:

The first autopens were developed by an Englishman named John Isaac Hawkins. Hawkins received a United States patent for his device in 1803. In 1804, Thomas Jefferson began using the device extensively.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autopen

Dudleydidwrong May 27, 2011 at 9:58 am

So, this is part of an English conspiracy to take back our nation. They're still bitching about this Revolutionary War thingy, huh? Could Limey Liz be part of this, a plant in Wonketteistan to gain our plans for defense? Fuck you, John Isaac Hawkins, terrorist!

baconzgood May 27, 2011 at 8:50 am

Fuck you Alan Turing!

V572..whatever May 27, 2011 at 10:23 am

How do we know your comment wasn't generated by a machine, like this one?

baconzgood May 27, 2011 at 10:28 am

V572..whatever, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore.

baconzgood May 27, 2011 at 8:51 am

Domo arigato Mr. Pen-auto.

trampndirtdown May 27, 2011 at 9:30 am

Bonus points if the auto-pen signs Kilroy.

Beowoof May 27, 2011 at 8:54 am

This explains republicans – Decepticons.

Doktor Zoom May 27, 2011 at 8:56 am

These are not the autopens you're looking for.

RadioJr. May 27, 2011 at 8:58 am

I hope this Autopen doesn't get stuck going over a bump in the bill.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 27, 2011 at 9:00 am

Was it assembled in the USA? I want to see the long form Assembly Certificate!

el_donaldo May 27, 2011 at 9:01 am

Don't fuck with the Autopen. It also signs off on any drone attack orders.

YasserArraFeck May 27, 2011 at 9:08 am

So, was GW Dick Cheney's bill-signing robot?

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 7:20 pm

Yes.

He was also his leather slave.

EatsBabyDingos May 27, 2011 at 9:11 am

This reminds me to buy toilet paper and beer. Lots of beer.

Chillwaver May 27, 2011 at 9:15 am

Skynet's got nothing on the Autopen!

Bonzos_Bed_Time May 27, 2011 at 10:36 am

You kidding, I'm sure Cyberdyne made it.

weejee May 27, 2011 at 9:17 am

It's a sign of the timez. The world is going anime.

ifthethunderdontgetya May 27, 2011 at 9:20 am

Today we are all Autopens without Freedoms™.
~

gurukalehuru May 27, 2011 at 9:24 am

The whole autopen thingie is quite comical, in a teleprompterish sort of way, but I'm seriously pissed that this handy dandy little piece of fascism got renewed, whatever the mechanics of the process.

SorosBot May 27, 2011 at 9:27 am

Autopens wage their battle to destroy the evil forces of – the Pencilatrons.

CapeClod May 27, 2011 at 10:16 am

A battle centered on possession of the All-Wite Out.

Oblios_Cap May 27, 2011 at 9:28 am

Ken, go ahead an hire this writer so that we can find out who she/he is.

Unless all these posts are being written by an autopen.

KeepFnThatChicken May 27, 2011 at 9:33 am

Autopen can write, but it cannot snark.

trampndirtdown May 27, 2011 at 9:29 am

Robama knows trig?

FraAnima May 27, 2011 at 10:03 am

Going off on a tangent now.

jqheywood May 27, 2011 at 10:34 am

I can secant you?

Ken Cuccinelli May 27, 2011 at 10:35 am

A million fists up for all of you

ShaveTheWhales May 27, 2011 at 5:53 pm

Cosine.

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 7:18 pm

"I can secant you?"

That depends on whether you're willing to cosine for a loan.

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 7:19 pm

"Going off on a tangent now."

George Hamilton?

wok3 May 27, 2011 at 9:36 am

Weird that banks get into trouble for robo-signing mortgages, yet here it is just fine. I'm not saying that banks shouldn't get shafted 6 ways from Sunday, but it's still strange.

Oblios_Cap May 27, 2011 at 9:41 am

Banks should get shafted 6 (or more) ways from Sunday. Particularly Investment Banks.

There- I said it!.

KeepFnThatChicken May 27, 2011 at 9:36 am

Does Tom Servo & Crow read Wonkette? Gypsy cannae read… she has too much stuff to do.

EatsBabyDingos May 27, 2011 at 9:39 am

Otto pens like "Repo Man."

BaldarTFlagass May 27, 2011 at 10:25 am

C'mon, kid, let's go get a Drink!

BZ1 May 27, 2011 at 9:46 am

take that, you scurrilous librarians… (see http://www.ala.org/ala/aboutala/offices/oif/ifiss

GuyClinch May 27, 2011 at 9:46 am

The auto-pen added a signing statement, a la' Bush, indicating that it understands the provisions of the Patriot Act to guarantee vodka-infused ink forever.

LowProfileinGA May 27, 2011 at 9:46 am

Cue the OUTRAGE!

El Pinche May 27, 2011 at 9:49 am

Alex Jones is fleshlighting his brains out right now.

Dudleydidwrong May 27, 2011 at 9:54 am

Is Otto the Ottopen the same Otto who gave Julie Hagerty the blow job in Airplane!? That sucker gets around. First a sexy bit in a film and now signing stuff in the White House. Tomorrow–The World!

Boojum_Reborn May 27, 2011 at 9:55 am

This is what they mean by Obamabots?

Limeylizzie May 27, 2011 at 9:58 am

Is Wonkette Jr going to get the gig, Ken? The poor, wee thing has been working very hard this week and all the Wonketteers are over the horror of last week's "impending demise" of the Wonkette so maybe you could give us a spanking new editor.

DashboardBuddha May 27, 2011 at 10:32 am

maybe Ken is spanking the new editor?

prommie May 27, 2011 at 10:34 am

"Impending demise?" I missed that, I was on a bender. Whats this all about? Ken, you need money or something? I'll send money, if you want.

UW8316154 May 27, 2011 at 10:50 am

Jack trolled everyone into a weekend of panic in his goodbye post, darkly mentioning Ken's "tough decisions about the future of Wonkette". It was a horrible time, the trolls were delirious, and I rather not say any more.

/shudder

HistoriCat May 27, 2011 at 10:50 am

5/20 – nevar forget!

prommie May 27, 2011 at 12:47 pm

Its only an hour after 4:20, its too easy to forget.

SorosBot May 27, 2011 at 11:22 am

She's been doing a good job so far; Ken if you're reading we've got no complaints.

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 7:22 pm

I think young Wonkette Jr. has made a very promising beginning.

ttommyunger May 27, 2011 at 9:59 am

Once again, this begs the question whether to submit to arrest peacefully in this Country. In the past, one could be fairly assured of a properly handled investigation, a prompt judicial hearing in front of a Magistrate and a set of charges to answer to. Now, all bets are off. You can be "disappeared" on the strength of one Official naming you a "Lone Wolf Suspect" (no ties to any illegal or terrorist activity), never charged and never again seeing the light of day. The G. Gordon Liddy solution (Shoot for the head) is looking more and more attractive; and I take no pleasure in saying so.

GuyClinch May 27, 2011 at 10:03 am

ttommyunger off to Gitmo in 3..2…1… We'll miss you, buddy!

Dudleydidwrong May 27, 2011 at 10:07 am

In defense against tyranny, we will use all possible tyrannical methods! Freedum isn't free, ya know. So ya lose yer freedums? So what! We gotta protect freedum!

"Stand away from that Ottopen!" "But, sir, I'm just looking…" "Stand away, bastard terrorist, or you are a dead bastard terrorist!" "But, sir, isn't this the Smithsonian?" "BLAM!" "Clean up on aisle 12!"

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 7:26 pm

Nigel Tufnel: This one has incredible sustain.
Marty DiBergi: Really? I…
Nigel: Don't touch it!!
Marty: I wasn't touching it.
Nigel: Don't look at it, either!

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 7:31 pm

"In defense against tyranny, we will use all possible tyrannical methods! Freedum isn't free, ya know. So ya lose yer freedums? So what! We gotta protect freedum!"

http://www.theonion.com/articles/freedoms-curtail

"We … are now under siege by adherents of a fundamentalist, totalitarian belief system that tolerates no dissent," Attorney General John Ashcroft said. "Our most basic American values are threatened… That is why I call upon all Americans to submit to wiretaps, e-mail monitoring, and racial profiling. Now is not the time to allow simplistic, romantic notions of 'civil liberties' and 'equal protection under the law' to get in the way of our battle with the enemies of freedom."

James Michael Curley May 27, 2011 at 10:10 am

Here! Here!

V572..whatever May 27, 2011 at 10:27 am

If you haven't done anything wrong, you have nothing to fear.
If you haven't had any thoughts of doing anything wrong, you have nothing to fear.
If you haven't visited any Web sites containing inappropriate ideas, you have have nothing to fear.

They never arrest the wrong guy, so you have nothing to fear.

That is all. Now get back to work.

HistoriCat May 27, 2011 at 10:50 am

"If you haven't visited any Web sites containing inappropriate ideas, you have have nothing to fear. "

Would that be sites which have declared the president to be morally weak? Or sites which have used Trig's name in vain? Or sites which mock Trucknutz?

V572..whatever May 27, 2011 at 11:09 am

Apparently not…yet.

DashboardBuddha May 27, 2011 at 10:30 am

Family history (mythology?) has it that a long ago ancestor in Cork was hung for singing the wrong song.

I'm an amateur musician…

Uh oh.

ttommyunger May 27, 2011 at 10:37 am

I'd take up music if that were the case, no, wait! You meant “hanged”!

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 7:34 pm

"The Wearin' of the Green"?

or, alternately,

"The Battle of the Boyne"?

PsycWench May 27, 2011 at 10:04 am

So if Obama writes a book under a pseudonym, it would be an autopen name?
Can this autopen be directed to stab problematic congressmen?? with votes of course.

Doktor Zoom May 27, 2011 at 11:10 am

I'd assume the pseudonym would be "Wonkette Jr."

ShaveTheWhales May 27, 2011 at 6:07 pm

Nom d'autoplume?

CZL May 27, 2011 at 10:05 am

And just what does Wonkbot think of your biologism, Wonkette Jr.?

Mumbletypeg May 27, 2011 at 10:07 am

"my castle shall be called El Mumbalumbia"

Almost fitting for a castle abode name, except for the "-lumbia" part that summons memories as appetizing as the besmirched legacy of our land's founding explorer; or of the over-churched part of South Carolina where I lived for 6 months before realizing freestyle Assemblies-of-God "fitness centers" outnumbered YMCA's by about 25 to 1.

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 7:35 pm

"the "-lumbia" part that summons memories as appetizing as the besmirched legacy of our land's founding explorer"

I assumed that the name was an *hommage* to Patrice Lumumba.

SorosBot May 27, 2011 at 10:10 am

Is everyone else taking the day off for a four-day weekend? Things are really quiet here.

BaldarTFlagass May 27, 2011 at 10:15 am

I'm home. Just killing a few minutes here until my concrete contractor shows up to pour me some hot sexy slab action. Then the stump pulling guy will be here at noon. But I am drinking already and anticipate that this will continue throughout the day.

ShaveTheWhales May 27, 2011 at 6:08 pm

Be careful with the hot sexy stump pulling.

Angry_Marmot May 27, 2011 at 7:26 pm

The return of monopede mania?

CapeClod May 27, 2011 at 10:18 am

I'm out researching some excellent planking locations.

Bonzos_Bed_Time May 27, 2011 at 10:45 am

Not so much "taking the day off" as being forced into a non-paid furlough day to by an underfunded bureaucracy that balanced it's budget on the back of the proletariat workers while the Kocks buy another Gulfstream.

So yeah, five day vacation, whoo-hoo!

SorosBot May 27, 2011 at 11:21 am

Ouch. That's no fun; my mom worked for the city until she retired a few months ago and for her last year and a half was"gifted" with several extra vacation days – mandatory, unpaid vacation days.

Bonzos_Bed_Time May 27, 2011 at 11:34 am

At first it was kinda' cool (the whoo-hoo part), but they're starting to add up financially… fuck it, I still have a job!

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 7:40 pm

The artiste who does my hair spun off her own shop a few weeks ago.
When she ran into some of her former co-workers, she was told that they showed up at the old shop one day to find a padlocked door and a sign to the effect of, "Gone out of Business; you guys don't have jobs anymore".
That took care of any guilt she had about leaving.

Ken Layne May 27, 2011 at 11:31 am

Oh for god's sake. Sounds like you need the Autopen to do some accounting.

UW8316154 May 27, 2011 at 10:56 am

I've got the day off too, thanks to a "mandatory business closure day" (e.g. unpaid day off). This is the third year we've had them over Memorial Day, July 4 and Labor Day. The employees got to weigh in: layoffs or business closure days, and everyone overwhelmingly went for the time off.

So, I'm sitting at home watching the Seattle rain.

CapeClod May 27, 2011 at 10:10 am

Oh well, everyone start getting ready for the Butlerian Jihad.

James Michael Curley May 27, 2011 at 10:12 am

How many p-points does the Autopen have? I haven't seen him here this week.

Panty_Buns May 27, 2011 at 10:15 am

Robo-signing takes rubber-stamping the Bush assault on the Bill of Rights to a whole new level. Now Barack doesn’t eben have to look at the crap he approves. Pray the robo-pen short circuits and gets a conscience, because most Senators don’t seem to have one.

bflrtsplk May 27, 2011 at 10:15 am

Obamabot wouldn't be somehow related to Wonkbot, now would it? In such a case, a scenario could exist for Wonkbot to somehow grease Obamabot's gears and find a convenient way to send the Patriot Act down the memory hole.

Ken Layne May 27, 2011 at 11:33 am

We keep trying, and god knows we send Wonkbot to Auto the Ottopen all the time, at night, using Jeff Gannon's old overnight pass from the Bush Administration. But Wonkbot is a bottom.

NadePaulKuciGravMcKi May 27, 2011 at 10:27 am

Never question their Crimes.
trust government trust media
Pretend to believe everything.
dōmo arigatō misutā Robotto

Thank you very much Mr Roboto
どうもありがとうミスターロボット

NadePaulKuciGravMcKi May 27, 2011 at 11:15 am

In honor of Rae Abileah.

Truther …
Noun- Term of abuse used by establishment supporters against anyone who is openly disbelieving of the Bush Administration's heavily propagandized 9/11 fairytale. The term is used most often in a derogatory way as an ad hominem by trolls in order to avoid dealing with the facts, commonsense, and supporting links presented by 9/11 skeptics.

Troll: Often you will find a troofer wearing tin foil on their head.
Skeptic: I've noticed that the only people talking about tinfoil all the time are nutters like you. What's this obsession of you crazies with tinfoil hats?

mereoblivion May 27, 2011 at 10:36 am

"Lafayette, we are fear!"

Guppy06 May 27, 2011 at 10:43 am

If he'd just used a damned fax machine, the terrorists would have won.

UW8316154 May 27, 2011 at 10:47 am

I like this mysterious "Wonkette Jr". No names, either – I like my snark anonymous.

AddHomonym May 27, 2011 at 10:48 am

"PDF it, email it, print it, sign it, scan it, email it back. What a pain! Just autopen the son of a bitch."

mavenmaven May 27, 2011 at 10:48 am

Skynet is now signing on!

neiltheblaze May 27, 2011 at 10:56 am

I hope that automatic pen doesn't get all high and mighty now and starts randomly signing off on bills. I'll bet Diebold is involved somehow.

DahBoner May 27, 2011 at 11:06 am

Floofy signatures are for Constitutional lovers…

proudgrampa May 27, 2011 at 11:14 am

Well, at least it wasn't an Auto da Fe.

DemonicRage May 27, 2011 at 11:14 am

I want the robot to be booked on "Ellen" and come out dancing. I have to compare this to the real President, and see if he is really an Obama-equivalent in all domains of endeavor.

carlgt1 May 27, 2011 at 11:14 am

wow, this is one of the most "liberal commie African lion" acts Obama has done — I'm sure the reich-wing nutjobs will be flipping out over this yet-again-extending-Bush-policy!

BTWBFDIMHO May 27, 2011 at 11:15 am

There is a great article about the NSA in the New Yorker. http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2011/05/23/110

TheMeatmaker May 27, 2011 at 11:17 am

Nixon's autopen hanged itself in shame.
W.'s couldn't master cursive and had to be taught to print its name clearly.
As for Clinton's, it was never found. Rumor is Monica keeps it in her nightstand.

chicken_thief May 27, 2011 at 11:18 am

I bet that Otto pen could do some bad ass tats.

Sharkey May 27, 2011 at 11:33 am

As long as you're cool with Comic Sans.

Smitros May 27, 2011 at 11:40 am

Branding is everything.

"PATRIOT" is a hell of a lot catchier descriptor than, say, "Alien and Sedition".

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 7:44 pm

And "de facto overturn of the Bill of Rights" just lacks a certain pizzazz.

CapeClod May 27, 2011 at 11:59 am

The spice must flow.

SilverTsunami May 27, 2011 at 12:01 pm

Oooh, I want an Autopen! (Not the rubber stamp–the real Autopen.)

PhilippePetain May 27, 2011 at 12:03 pm

I love that there are some Republicans that just hate Obama so much that they will vote against a law that they love and possibly get it overturned just to score some points. Sure, it was fine when their fuckhead had the reins, but oh no, not Obama, now they're trying to be all "Oooh, individual rights!"

Fucking, go back to Berkeley, assholes! Love it or leave it!

Remember that shit?

Oh well, a vote against this shit is a good vote regardless of motive I guess.

NadePaulKuciGravMcKi May 27, 2011 at 12:18 pm

Manzarek's Lyrics
(love it or leave it)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2arBz82LXgY

ttommyunger May 27, 2011 at 12:05 pm

I know of no kind of life that begins at 70 except the high life my Doctor's are living at the expense of our VA on my behalf. I am an unbelievably simple man (I fear in every sense) and as partial proof, I offer a recent tutorial I just posted on my fb (ttommyunger) on Stealth Camping. I take your reference in good faith, since I am not a well-read person and I'm too lazy to google the author.

ShaveTheWhales May 27, 2011 at 6:04 pm

Hints — Blade Runner (book: Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep), Minority Report, Total Recall (book: We Can Dream it for You Wholesale).

Probably several other movies "based on" Phil Dick novels or short stories. The guy was a concept junkie.

If your library has it, I believe you might enjoy "The Zap Gun". It's probably not one of his best, but I think it has a special resonance for anyone who has ever worked for the gubmint, or a gubmint contractor. (Note: it's a little disjointed, but it's short).

easynewz May 29, 2011 at 11:28 am

Fans of the ubiquitous Mr. Dick's writings may enjoy the 2006 animated version of A Scanner Darkly with Keanu Reeves, Winona Ryder and a host of other stars doing the voices. It's one of the best animated films that I've seen and honors the story very well I think. Try the trailer at the above IMDB linky.

imissopus May 27, 2011 at 1:38 pm

AUTOPEN DID 9/11!!!!

joobajooba May 27, 2011 at 2:02 pm

Can the autopen read a Telepromptr?

calibrit May 27, 2011 at 2:28 pm

And of course (says the father of small children) the evil computer in Wall-E is actually called Otto the Autopilot…

ShaveTheWhales May 27, 2011 at 6:09 pm

And these comments are from people who have jobs.

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 7:25 pm

I fully intend to live to be 107.

How I'm going to make the dollar-three-eighty in my bank account last until then — now that's another question — and not a pleasant one.

ttommyunger May 27, 2011 at 7:59 pm

Start robbing banks, no weapons, just notes. You'll either pay your way to 107 or get caught, either way you're fixed for life :)

tessiee May 27, 2011 at 7:33 pm

The first time I watched that movie, I was so young and naive that I didn't get that joke.

ttommyunger May 27, 2011 at 7:55 pm

Hahaha!

Negropolis May 28, 2011 at 12:55 am

which lets the government do literally whatever it wants to anyone, anywhere

Often times, these exaggerations are written for comedic effect, but in this case, that's not even an exaggeration. I have no snark to give to this; this is truly one of the darker kabukis we indulge.

Negropolis May 28, 2011 at 1:02 am

I want whatever Wonkette, Jr. is dropping or smoking. That thing veered so far from its original intent I think we just ended up in Oz, man.

RadioJr. May 27, 2011 at 9:24 am

But don't you want to feel safe?

SorosBot May 27, 2011 at 9:26 am

We'd be wide open to another attack from Osama bin Laden! Oh wait…

Oblios_Cap May 27, 2011 at 9:29 am

And so the bedwetters continue their reign of ineptitude.

horsedreamer_1 May 27, 2011 at 2:29 pm

I was going to pay the domain service, but then I got high. But then I got high. But then I got high.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: