Bribery at Tiffany’s: Newt’s Latest Wife Did Tiffany’s Bidding

by Wonkette Jr.

Is it okay if we just keep using 'Bribery at Tiffany's'?We thought Giant Whining Baby/Serial Divorcer Newt Gingrich had his half-million-dollar Tiffany’s credit line just because he always needs new engagement rings when he divorces his old, cancer-ridden wives for new, younger ladies he’s been schtupping for several years. But no, it’s actually sleazier than all that, because this is Newt Gingrich we’re talking about. Why did he get a very special $500,000 charge account from the jeweler with a truly spectacular 0% interest rate? Financial journalists are on the case, and they found out Newt’s current wife Callista used to be a “a high level staffer for the House Agriculture Committee, which oversees mining policy,” while a former Newt top staffer is now a top lobbyist for Tiffany’s. Because Tiffany’s mines silver on U.S. public lands, and Newt got Tiffany’s a very sweet deal to exploit America’s natural resources from America’s public lands, so that Tiffany executives and stockholders can make tens of millions of dollars every quarter by selling silver from public lands to rich douchesacks and ladder-climbing sociopaths.

Sexy business nerd Felix Salmon writes on his Reuters blog:

There’s enough confusion over the Tiffany’s deal that it certainly looks unusual — while Tiffany’s does extend interest-free loans of up to one year to top clients, Gingrich’s account was open for two consecutive years, despite the fact that Gingrich claimed to be paying no interest on it. And in any case it seems unwise, to say the least, to accept an interest-free loan of more than $250,000 from a company which is lobbying your committee — no matter how rare or common such loans might be.

There’s an irony here: we only know the loan was interest-free because Newt Gingrich went on TV to say so, in order to try to portray himself as fiscally prudent. But now we do know that, the loan begins to look more like an undisclosed lobbying expenditure on the part of Tiffany. Which in many ways is even worse for Gingrich. There must be official rules about accepting interest-free loans from companies lobbying your committee. Is there a case to be made that Callista Gingrich broke those rules?

The jewelry chain’s regular customers pay 21% interest on their credit purchases. That means Newt avoids a shocking $105,000 in interest payments per year when he uses his whole $500,000 credit line to buy more bling for his new mistress, whomever she might be. (When will we meet Mrs. Gingrich No. 4? Very soon, we bet! And No. 5 must be waiting in the wings somewhere, perhaps in an exclusive middle school in the white suburbs of Atlanta.)

The fantastically espionage-y SpyTalk blog has these details:

At the same time Tiffany & Co. was extending Callista (Bisek) Gingrich a virtual interest-free loan of tens of thousands of dollars, the diamond and silverware firm was spending big bucks to influence mining policy in Congress and in agencies over which the House Agriculture Committee–where she worked–had jurisdiction, official records show.

Filings by Tiffany’s lobbyist, Cassidy & Co., and other government records show that the firm’s spending on “mining law and mine permitting-related issues” in Congress, as well as the Forest Service, the Interior Department, and Interior’s Bureau of Land Management shot up sharply between during the period when Callista Gingrich was chief clerk at the House Agriculture Committee.

Newt Gingrich is really giving us a lot, journalistically speaking, considering he only ever got to about 6% in the Republican polls this year. We may well need Sarah Palin to get in the race, after Newt pulls out in shame …. which, come to think of it, is probably something he does a lot. [Felix Salmon/SpyTalk]

 

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{ 194 comments }

Barb May 26, 2011 at 11:45 am

"Callista (Bisek) Gingrich"
Well, that explains it! If she is into Bi-sek she deserves jewelry.

BaldarTFlagass May 26, 2011 at 11:52 am

Newt Gardener: "I like to watch."

horsedreamer_1 May 26, 2011 at 11:57 am

SO MANY UPFISTS.

Nothingisamiss May 26, 2011 at 3:48 pm

+++ for the reference.

riverside68 May 26, 2011 at 12:34 pm

It also explains higher jewelry expenses, two of everything costs more

But Callista better watch out, newt may be interviewing 4 and 5 in the mix.

On the other hand Callista can keep an eye, and other parts, on the competition, and if Newt gets fresh snatch regularly, maybe his love of country won't force him to leave Callista.

comrad_darkness May 26, 2011 at 5:09 pm

Barb, where have you been all my life??

arihaya May 26, 2011 at 11:46 am

I thought his wife is not a Tiffany lobbyist, but a Tiffany mannequin

SexySmurf May 26, 2011 at 11:47 am

Gingrich/Mickey Rooney in yellow face 2012.

memzilla May 26, 2011 at 11:48 am

It's like when Homer Simpson says out loud the mental conversation he's having within his thought balloon, and congratulates himself for not saying it out loud.

The difference is, Homer Simpson is unwaveringly faithful to his first and only wife, and Marge has only the one pearl necklace.

horsedreamer_1 May 26, 2011 at 11:58 am

Obviously, you have not seen Not the Simpsons XXX (or whatever they called it). Live-action Springfield porn!

baconzgood May 26, 2011 at 12:13 pm

Why the hell would you know that dreamer. You're twisted. I like it.

Chillwaver May 26, 2011 at 11:48 am

Good God, what a disturbing picture! Newt looks like Benny Hill (except he is the jest, not the jester). Callista? Monty Burns on drag.

Swampgas_Man May 26, 2011 at 3:05 pm

Nawww, Burns looks more human. That there's a Newtron Sex-Robot, w/ the plastiFace™ technology.

freakishlywrong May 26, 2011 at 11:48 am

Stupid Newt. You don't have to give your blow up doll jewelry.

Barb May 26, 2011 at 11:50 am

Especially brooches and pierced earrings.

freakishlywrong May 26, 2011 at 11:52 am

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS…

DaRooster May 26, 2011 at 11:56 am

Is her air-head leaking?

nounverb911 May 26, 2011 at 11:53 am

I thought Calista did the blowing.

SorosBot May 26, 2011 at 12:08 pm

Drugged-out Calista looks like she's probably like a lot of right-wing women, whose idea of sex is to just lie back while the guy does all the work.

HobbesEvilTwin May 26, 2011 at 12:08 pm

all 15 seconds of it?

V572..whatever May 26, 2011 at 12:29 pm

It's rude to brag like that.

nounverb911 May 26, 2011 at 11:50 am

Does Tiffany’s sell solid silver sex toys?

memzilla May 26, 2011 at 11:55 am

Cancer vampires can't use silver sex toys.

Chet Kincaid May 26, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Nice.

Barb May 26, 2011 at 11:57 am

By the sea shore?

Geminisunmars May 26, 2011 at 12:34 pm

I think you may have just given them a marketing idea! Look for it in their Christmess Catalog next fall!

Jukesgrrl May 26, 2011 at 6:27 pm

No, but they sell solid silver baby rattles. Wonder how many Vitter has.

HogeyeGrex May 27, 2011 at 3:41 am

I'd guess that depends on where you look.

Jukesgrrl May 27, 2011 at 6:14 pm

Are you saying "not as exciting as a gerbil but about the same size"?

Negropolis May 28, 2011 at 12:35 am

"Solid Silver Sex Toys" is the tentative/working title of Paris Hilton's next memoir, right?

Grief_Lessons May 26, 2011 at 11:50 am

Does either of them work with the potato chip industry? 'cause the fatass looks to have gone through a few hundred grand worth of them, too.

horsedreamer_1 May 26, 2011 at 11:59 am

After a call from Lionel Hutz, Pringles made sure that "once one pops, one cannot stop".

Gingrich cannot stop.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 26, 2011 at 2:50 pm

"once one pops, one cannot stop". That explains Tripp, or Trike, or whatever.

tessiee May 26, 2011 at 10:18 pm

He evidently can't stop eating chips, either.

Wait, what were *you* referring to?

Jukesgrrl May 26, 2011 at 6:28 pm

Cheetos at Tiffany's.

freakishlywrong May 26, 2011 at 11:50 am

The fact that Tiffany has lobbyists should be a larger concern.

OC_Surf_Serf May 26, 2011 at 11:51 am

Half a million is still a lot for bulk engagement rings…

nounverb911 May 26, 2011 at 11:51 am

Does Newt buys his engagement rings in bulk?

OC good timing!

V572..whatever May 26, 2011 at 12:30 pm

Stephen Colbert upfists you both for stealing his joke!

OC_Surf_Serf May 26, 2011 at 1:29 pm

c'mon V, I nicked it from teevee's Craig Ferguson fair and square

WIDTAP May 26, 2011 at 1:37 pm

Cheeky monkey!

neiltheblaze May 26, 2011 at 11:51 am

I hear Callista is a really devout Catholic. Makes sense.

Jukesgrrl May 26, 2011 at 6:30 pm

Yeah, she would do him before they were married, but when he wanted to put a ring on it she made him convert. That counts as devout, fer sure.

BaldarTFlagass May 26, 2011 at 11:51 am

It's pretty easy to portray yourself as "fiscally prudent" when you get all your shit for free, as kickbacks and such.

prommie May 26, 2011 at 12:03 pm

So long as your cocaine and hooker expenditures don't exceed your bribery income, you are prudent as can be. Prudent like Charlie Sheen, winning.

Nothingisamiss May 26, 2011 at 3:51 pm

I think I accidentaled down fisty. But upfisty. #winning.

BarryOPotter May 26, 2011 at 11:51 am

Sarah Palin to get in the race, after Newt pulls out in shame ….

"Lou Paidlin! You're up! Now get in there and get us some hits!"
How does Calista Bisek, er, feel about this? Oh. I see. Uh, never mind…

YasserArraFeck May 26, 2011 at 1:17 pm

Newt doesn't pull out. He doesn't wear no friggin' condom neither – it's up to the wife/girlfriend du jour to ensure there are no "Little Newts"

Jukesgrrl May 26, 2011 at 6:32 pm

Calista better be in menopause already or he's playing with fire, given that "devout Catholic" thingee.

SarcasticNymph May 28, 2011 at 9:24 pm

Are you nuts? "Catholics" of Calista's social class use contraceptives, and they get abortions. It's trashy to get pregnant out of wedlock or to have too many kids. That's for the gullible rubes.

Oblios_Cap May 26, 2011 at 11:52 am

I'm sure an Ethics Committee somewhere is drafting a sternly-worded letter to send to Newty-newt even as we speak.

KeepFnThatChicken May 26, 2011 at 11:52 am

She gave herself diamonds?!

.

[twenty minutes later]

.

…then why fuck Newt?

Terry May 26, 2011 at 12:05 pm

Ain't that the truth.

V572..whatever May 26, 2011 at 12:30 pm

Cuz he was cheatin on her. It's like a C&W song, only with uglier singers.

Maman May 26, 2011 at 1:28 pm

He isn't cheating on her… he is being patriotic with another vag.

Jukesgrrl May 26, 2011 at 6:35 pm

I'm sure she understands that all gifts from Republicans have to be laundered prior to presentation. If they can make it look like you bought it yourself, all's the better. Palin wishes the RNC knew how to do that when she got all those clothes.

HempDogbane May 26, 2011 at 11:53 am

Palin/Pull out in Shame 2012 !

BZ1 May 26, 2011 at 11:53 am

The Newt is such a dear… in the headlights…

comrad_darkness May 26, 2011 at 5:13 pm

And those are HIS headlights. What a collapse.

EatsBabyDingos May 26, 2011 at 11:54 am

"Bunkfest at Tiffany's"

baconzgood May 26, 2011 at 12:13 pm

WIN!

SarcasticNymph May 28, 2011 at 9:26 pm

"Buttsex at Tiffany's"

Eve8Apples May 26, 2011 at 11:56 am

"Newt Gingrich is really giving us a lot, journalistically speaking, considering he only ever got to about 6% in the Republican polls this year. "

If Newt keeps on the current trajectory, his polling numbers will soon match the interest rate on his Tiffany account, 0%.
Keep fuckin' that chicken Newt.

mrpuma2u May 26, 2011 at 3:25 pm

I think the evil amphibian knows he is going down in flames around New Hampshire or so. My personal suspicion is he trying to parlay all this hoo-hah around him into a weekly talking head gig on fuxsticks news.

Eve8Apples May 26, 2011 at 3:33 pm

I don't think he'll make it Iowa. He doesn't have the fortitude to withstand the negative press week after week. He's a coddled, momma's boy. No serious financial supporter is going to back his campaign. It's amateur. I suspect he'll withdraw before Labor Day.

Jukesgrrl May 26, 2011 at 6:41 pm

But in the meantime, he's making a nice dime off that little book and DVD company of his. He's not stupid enough to spend the profits from that on his campaign.

horsedreamer_1 May 26, 2011 at 11:56 am

Looks like Callista is plumping her resume in case she has to come back to Wisconsin to run for Governor in a re-call election. We might be able to dump Scooter, but there's always some other udder-billy grifter from not-Milwaukee & not-Madison to ransack the Dairyland.

Guppy06 May 26, 2011 at 1:20 pm

That ain't all she's plumping.

EatsBabyDingos May 26, 2011 at 11:57 am

The New Paradigm: Interest free interest only loans

Pithaughn May 26, 2011 at 12:12 pm

Ha, good one. Took me a second. That is totally within the realm of the possible , especially coming from Newt who said in public, if you repeat what I said it is a false hood or some such double speak.

Oblios_Cap May 26, 2011 at 11:58 am

Thank God Newt told us about this or we would have never known. Thanks, Lame Stream Media!

fuflans May 26, 2011 at 11:58 am

Ratko Mladic and Newt Gingrich: '90's pigs in the news.

nounverb911 May 26, 2011 at 11:58 am

What's the legal age of consent in Georgia?

bumfug May 26, 2011 at 12:08 pm

There is no specific age. The exact wording of the statute is "Old enough to bleed, old enough to breed".

tcaalaw May 26, 2011 at 12:00 pm

Damn you for that graphic, Wonkette, Jr.! Now I'm never going to be able to masturbate to Audrey Hepburn pictures without imagining Newt's porcine face alongside her's.

ManchuCandidate May 26, 2011 at 12:01 pm

Shame? Newt doesn't know the meaning of the word.

philpjfry May 26, 2011 at 12:01 pm

How much self delusion can one man have? He has almost zero support and more baggage than all the hotels in NYC, and he thinks he has a chance of being elected President? Calsito must whisper in his ear how kinky she could be as first lady.

Pithaughn May 26, 2011 at 12:18 pm

I look exactly like Newt, I hope he runs like Hilary did, just keeps on even after the math is 100% against you. Now I'll go and call my old novelty act agent and start cashing in on my disability.

Jukesgrrl May 26, 2011 at 6:43 pm

You work it, Dude!

mourningnmerica May 26, 2011 at 1:59 pm

That's Ca-LIPS-o.

baconzgood May 26, 2011 at 12:02 pm

It's even worse. As a man I can understand paying $500K to ass fuck some perky tity intern and toss her to the side when she gets too whiney…. But to TAKE 500K to fuck national parks…….Man!!! That's fucking stones on that man.

V572..whatever May 26, 2011 at 12:35 pm

"As a man I can understand paying $500K to ass fuck some perky tity intern…"

We've all been there.

Barb May 26, 2011 at 12:02 pm

volume, volume, volume! (at least in Newt's engagement ring case)

BaldarTFlagass May 26, 2011 at 12:02 pm

The thing is, all this sleazy slimy shit will probably be worth 3 or 4 points in the polls for the Republican nomination. "Well, he certainly knows his way around the system, so, yeah, I'd vote for him."

anniegetyerfun May 26, 2011 at 5:01 pm

"Think he could get us that kind of rate on a loan from the Chinese? Har!"

Terry May 26, 2011 at 12:02 pm

Newt, goddamn you to hell. I love looking through a Tiffany catalog, pretending like I could buy those diamond necklaces. It's a simple pleasure and I'm not hurting a soul in doing it. But nooooooooo…… you and your fat ass and your bleached blonde botoxed wife have to come along and ruin it for me. You just had to, didn't you? Newt, for this and a long list of other offenses, you can just kiss my pink arse.

Swampgas_Man May 26, 2011 at 3:12 pm

There's always Victoria's Secret/International Male.

comrad_darkness May 26, 2011 at 5:17 pm

Etsy has some cool stuff. Girls love that stuff, right? right??

ShaveTheWhales May 27, 2011 at 7:27 am

Mikimoto. Admittedly, just cultured pearls, but they're perfectly matched. Even I thought they were marvelous.

Terry May 27, 2011 at 7:46 am

Yes, they are part of my jewelry porn repetoire. Love love love Mikimoto. Do not own any, though. Haz a sad.

JoshuaNorton May 26, 2011 at 12:03 pm

Newt Gingrich
You’ll lose by a mile
because you just lack style
but hey

Paul Ryan
Has you cryin'
Wherever he’s goin'
They're going that way …

True grifters
Want to win in twenty twelve
there’s such a lot to delve
But, see….

They’re after the same rainbow’s end
waiting round the bend
Palin is their friend.
Newt Gingrich — OMG!!

carlgt1 May 26, 2011 at 12:24 pm

And I said, what about
teabags at Tiffany's
she said – with wide eyes –
I remember the loans
As I recall – I think –
we both kind of signed it
well then that's more cash for us all…..

MissTaken May 26, 2011 at 12:03 pm

I love how in the blingee Callista looks like she has a Tiffany dog-collar on. Because nothing says "I love you more than my first two wives" than a shiny bitch bauble.

FidoMcCokefiend May 26, 2011 at 12:04 pm

Only a Republican with a $500,000 line of credit at Tiffany's can get away with accusing other people of being "elitist."

Bonzos_Bed_Time May 26, 2011 at 12:07 pm

Gawd, that face of hers… she looks like the least trustful most conniving person in the world.
Is she on Fox?

(apologies for Fox news obsession, just read the RS Roger Ailes article http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/how-rog

Oblios_Cap May 26, 2011 at 12:07 pm

The only reason to wait a month for sex is if the girl is 17 years and 11 months old.

HobbesEvilTwin May 26, 2011 at 12:08 pm

after Newt pulls out in shame ….

shame is not a word in that fat fuck's vocabulary.

glamourdammerung May 26, 2011 at 12:43 pm

Neither is "pulling out".

Guppy06 May 26, 2011 at 1:22 pm

He should be ashamed, though. Callista is getting tired of the facials.

starfanglednut May 26, 2011 at 9:06 pm

eeeeeeew!

baconzgood May 26, 2011 at 12:09 pm

Newt's new campaign motto: ICEBERG RIGHT AHEAD!!!!!!!!

SorosBot May 26, 2011 at 12:09 pm

Newt gets his money for nothing, but not the chicks for free.

BaldarTFlagass May 26, 2011 at 12:17 pm

Them guys ain't dumb.

Well, maybe.

mrpuma2u May 26, 2011 at 3:21 pm

they aren't dumb, just utterly lacking in any sort of morals.

nounverb911 May 26, 2011 at 12:09 pm

Is Frank Perdue still dead?

Goonemeritus May 26, 2011 at 12:09 pm

Nothing is more fiscally prudent than bribery its old school fiscally prudent.

BaldarTFlagass May 26, 2011 at 12:13 pm

Tell ya one thing, if I was a Tiffany's customer, and paying 21% interest on the shit I had bought on credit, I would be really fucking pissed off right about now.

Gunner Asch May 26, 2011 at 12:37 pm

I dunno, if you're brain-dead enough to buy that stuff to begin with you probably don't have the math skills to realize that 21% interest is an owie. Don't these people realize that Dollar Store carries shiny baubles too?

JustPixelz May 26, 2011 at 12:14 pm

Silver mining turned out to be a gold mine for Newtron.

Wadisay May 26, 2011 at 12:15 pm

Mrs. Gingrich #4 is today working in a brothel in Bangkok, and will convert Newt to Bhuddism.

easynewz May 26, 2011 at 10:23 pm

And you should see what she can do with a ping-pong ball.

littlebigdaddy May 27, 2011 at 1:27 pm

And to the lady-boy lifestyle.

gef05 May 26, 2011 at 12:15 pm

Why do bad things follow these people around?

glamourdammerung May 26, 2011 at 12:42 pm

Because they will not stop doing the bad things.

tessiee May 26, 2011 at 10:33 pm

If I remember my science classes correctly, every action has an equal and opposite reaction.

gef05 May 26, 2011 at 12:17 pm

"There’s an irony here: we only know the loan was interest-free because Newt Gingrich went on TV to say so, in order to try to portray himself as fiscally prudent."

Just reread the article. And it struck me as funny – that a man could claim to be "fiscally prudent" when he has a half-million dollar credit line at a jewelery store.

Ken Cuccinelli May 26, 2011 at 12:17 pm

She said, "I think I remember the bill"

Chet Kincaid May 26, 2011 at 12:20 pm

The Newts probably used the account like the music subscription services out there–all the jewelry you can eat. With no interest being charged, she could just "check out" whatever baubles she wanted and return them.

CapnFatback May 26, 2011 at 12:23 pm

The ABSOLUTELY WORST thing about this Newt scandal? I've been forced, out of my sheer need to know every detail about even those things that annoy the bile out of me, to look up the idiot band that sang that godawful song back in the '90s.

In other words, let this be the official Deep Blue Something comment and be done with it!

Pres[ $ rm -r * ] May 26, 2011 at 12:23 pm

When all else fails and you can't find a real job, start producing Republican porn. The Source says…

Callista Louise Gingrich, née Bisek (born March 4, 1966) is the President of Gingrich Productions, a performance and production company focused on audio, video, and photographic production. She is married to former Speaker of the United States House of Representatives Newt Gingrich. … Gingrich and her husband host and produce historical and public policy documentary videos. Recent films include A City Upon a Hill, America at Risk, Nine Days that Changed the World, Ronald Reagan: Rendezvous with Destiny, Rediscovering God in America, Rediscovering God in America II: Our Heritage, and We Have the Power. … Gingrich is the voice for several audio books, including To Save America; Valley Forge; 5 Principles for a Successful Life; Drill Here, Drill Now, Pay Less; The Art of Transformation; Real Change; Contract with the Earth; and Rediscovering God in America. She is also the voice for American Solutions for Winning the Future, a "tripartisan" organization for political and governmental change.

V572..whatever May 26, 2011 at 12:39 pm

Looking at the oeuvre, she's like a Republican Robert Altman or Martin Scorsese, only without any taste, wit, talent, or ability to select subject matter.

DashboardBuddha May 26, 2011 at 1:04 pm

5 Principles for a Successful Life Lie.

Fixed

natoslug May 26, 2011 at 1:52 pm

Considering we have a two-party system, what the hell is a tripartisan? And what exactly does the voice of ASSWIFE have to say? I did get the acronym right, didn't I?

mourningnmerica May 26, 2011 at 2:09 pm

They forgot "Feces Covered Narcissist: The Newt Gingrich Story".

But seriously, this is the most spectacular face plant of a campaign ever. I can't recall anyone fucking up this spectacularly. It is hilarious beyond words, and I am dreading the day that he drops out.

easynewz May 26, 2011 at 10:16 pm

Callista Louise Gingrich, née Bisek (born March 4, 1966) is the President of Gingrich Productions, a performance and production company focused on audio, video, and photographic production.

Hmmm, something tells me that she is making the campaign stuff for Newt and 'selling' them to the Newtster. Kinda like Brisdull handles 'comunications' for SarahPAC. Corruption nepotism at its finest.

tessiee May 26, 2011 at 10:36 pm

"Callista Louise Gingrich, née Bisek (born March 4, 1966)"

She's only 45?
Being married to Newt is taking a dreadful toll, no?

V572..whatever May 26, 2011 at 12:27 pm

"There must be official rules about accepting interest-free loans from companies lobbying your committee." You'd think some reporter would look into this! Maybe if you ask someone, Felix…

James Michael Curley May 26, 2011 at 12:28 pm

When Newt pulls out he takes a shower and goes to the club to tell all the boys about it.

Chet Kincaid May 26, 2011 at 12:30 pm

NBC has the Playboy Club '60s show coming up, ABC has the Pan Am Sexy Stewardesses show…why bother going back that far? A current-day Lobbyist show would apparently be indistinguishable from Mad Men.

Sassomatic May 26, 2011 at 12:31 pm

So being a morally corrupt politician willing to sell out the American people to the highest bidder is "fiscally sound"? Yeah I guess it is. Where do I sign up for this financial responsibility?

Nixon_So_Fine May 26, 2011 at 12:36 pm

My fist finger hurts from so many up-fingers in this thread. Junior, that 'shop is almost too good for Wonkette, also, too.

DaSandman May 26, 2011 at 12:36 pm

I told you so, he said modestly

gullywompr May 26, 2011 at 12:37 pm

What is it with the Republican wife blonde hair and the botox forehead and the pancake makeup until they look like they came out of the doll aisle at Toys-R-Us? It's almost enough to make you miss Barbara Bush.

tessiee May 26, 2011 at 10:38 pm

"What is it with the Republican wife blonde hair and the botox forehead and the pancake makeup"

I think there's a factory in Stepford, Connecticut that makes them.

glamourdammerung May 26, 2011 at 12:41 pm

I recall Newt being quite indignant that rich person Chris Dodd got a reasonable good deal on a home loan, which just makes this another case of "Newt being Newt".

freakishlywrong May 26, 2011 at 12:47 pm

Mrs. Newt is really terrifying.

Andrew Drinker May 26, 2011 at 12:49 pm

Mmmm, poutine…

proudgrampa May 26, 2011 at 12:55 pm

"Meet the Press," "Face the Nation," "This Week" have got to stop giving legitimacy to this asshole. He needs to be completely removed from the news cycle.

As for Mrs. Newt: I'd hit it. With a baseball bat.

BlueStateLibel May 26, 2011 at 1:01 pm

Oh lord, it's bad enough we pick on the poor oil companies and Wall Street, but now we must pick on the poor rich folks' pretentious jeweler of choice? How will our embattled upper class get by without distinguishing themselves with the all-important Made by Tiffany logo? Leave Tiffany alone!

tessiee May 26, 2011 at 10:42 pm

"Leave Tiffany alone!"

Should be shouted with tear-streaked eye-liner in a youtube video.

Worthly[♬♪♬♪♫♪♬]Skum May 26, 2011 at 1:07 pm

And No. 5 must be waiting in the wings somewhere, perhaps in an exclusive middle school in the white suburbs of Atlanta.

Gingrich Marital Arts Academy accepts only the most talented young women. Each prospective student must demostrate a thorough understanding of the written works of Richard Burton and the ability to swallow an entire banana in one bite.

LowProfileinGA May 26, 2011 at 1:23 pm

Newt (and Callista) wish it were the size of a banana.

tessiee May 26, 2011 at 10:43 pm

"Gingrich Marital Arts Academy accepts only the most talented young women."

And annually turns away dozens who mistakenly thought it was a *Martial* Arts Academy.

donner_froh May 26, 2011 at 1:10 pm

"There’s an irony here: we only know the loan was interest-free because Newt Gingrich went on TV to say so, in order to try to portray himself as fiscally prudent."

Irony may not be exactly the right term. How about stupid? As in Newt is so fucking stupid that he thought this would make him look better instead of even more like a douche bag.

anniegetyerfun May 26, 2011 at 5:09 pm

Whenever Republicans, even the ones who don't like Newt, go on TV to defend him, they always say something like, "He has really interesting ideas." I think they mean this sincerely, but they shouldn't. He has really fucking stupid ideas.

DemonicRage May 26, 2011 at 1:14 pm

Why is there so much talk in the news today about Sarah Palin and her Arizona house? Can't the Republicans see, this square headed man is the perfect candidate for them in the 2012? Close the nomination process down, right now. This Tiffany revolving charge thing is a sign that this man will lead the Party to a hilarious defeat in '12. Can Callista and Cindy McCain sing backup for him on all the campaign stops? They are so blondly wonderful together!

Guppy06 May 26, 2011 at 1:15 pm

Yes, DSK could teach us a lot about womens' rights.

LiveToServeYa May 26, 2011 at 1:22 pm

Eventually, Newt's entire campaign will be interest-free.

Jukesgrrl May 26, 2011 at 6:58 pm

Maybe it's just getting warmed up. I like the "his former floor assistant is now a lobbyist representing Tiffany's" that Chet brought us. Esoteric, but potentially lethal.

proudgrampa May 26, 2011 at 1:25 pm

Can someone explain to me why Tiffany's even NEEDS a freakin' lobbyist?

PubOption May 26, 2011 at 1:32 pm

The wheels don't grease themselves.

KenLayIsAlive May 26, 2011 at 1:43 pm

Haha. That's what I'm saying.

Dear American Citizens,

A pair of diamond earrings and a stained glass lamp has more representation in congress than you.

Suck it!

The GOP.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 26, 2011 at 3:07 pm

Public lands. Silver mining.
That's two dots — see if you can connect them.

FidoMcCokefiend May 26, 2011 at 1:36 pm

Fuck Yeah! Viva La Revo…

Hey did you see who won Idol last night? Can you believe that? I don't really care for Idol as much now that Paula isn't on. Are you gonna watch that new Colin show? That sounds like such a ripoff, but I can't help myself Colin is so much fun to watch. Hey did you see that new Mountain Dew Flavor that just came out? It's supposed to taste like a mix of Red Bull and Cheetos! What were we talking about?

Nothingisamiss May 26, 2011 at 3:50 pm

many upfists.

Jukesgrrl May 26, 2011 at 6:24 pm

I think we were talking about Whordashian's $2 million diamond ring.

Dashboard_Jesus May 27, 2011 at 10:57 am

yeah, perfect…sums up my thoughts on the sad state of affairs in 'Merka EXACTLY, we are SO doomed! but wait, who won DWTS this season?

x111e7thst May 26, 2011 at 1:44 pm

So is a Tiffany Whore diamond worth more than a common everyday whore diamond?

mayor_quimby May 26, 2011 at 3:50 pm

It all depends on what the whore had to do to get one. Callista's were really, ReALLY EXPENSIVE. Soul breakingly so.
Why can't my prudish phone type 'whore'?

Jukesgrrl May 26, 2011 at 7:00 pm

Moar sparklier, as Lou Sarah would say.

Barb May 26, 2011 at 1:51 pm

Where did all your p-points go, Buddy?

V572..whatever May 26, 2011 at 1:53 pm

I gave them to charity. It was the right thing to do. Now HistoriCat doesn’t have to act so needy.

Barb May 26, 2011 at 1:57 pm

Charity? Is she is stewardess out of Billings?

V572..whatever May 26, 2011 at 2:00 pm

Nah, that was Faith, or Hope, or somebody…

Barb May 26, 2011 at 2:01 pm

Doesn't matter. I knew you'd get it back up for me quickly.

HistoriCat May 26, 2011 at 3:11 pm

Hey now! I'm not needy.

Well, no more needy than any other member of the Wonketteriat.

V572..whatever May 26, 2011 at 6:17 pm

That was a very good comment, Historicat! Of all the comments on Wonkette today, yours was one of them!

Native_of_SL_UT May 26, 2011 at 2:27 pm

OK Wonkette editor. It is time. Give Wonkette Jr. a byline with their own name on it. They have firmly placed themselves on the team with this one perfect line:
..after Newt pulls out in shame …. which, come to think of it, is probably something he does a lot.

Bonzos_Bed_Time May 26, 2011 at 2:36 pm

New and improved linkage: http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/how-rog

Here's the printer version I would recommend (it's long): http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/how-rog

OT, but RS is coming out with some amazing articles this last year. Becoming worth the price of subscription!

V572..whatever May 26, 2011 at 4:00 pm

Kind of you!

Bonzos_Bed_Time May 26, 2011 at 5:48 pm

We (royal) aim to please.

hagajim May 26, 2011 at 2:36 pm

The skeeze factor is high with this one Luke…

zappadoo76 May 26, 2011 at 2:43 pm

Will this finally drive a stake through Newt's heart, so we don't have to see him anymore, on the teevee?

Biel_ze_Bubba May 26, 2011 at 3:10 pm

We need a silver stake … I wonder if Tiffany's has one.

tessiee May 26, 2011 at 10:45 pm

If we wait till the next full moon, we can use a silver bullet.

crybabyboehner May 26, 2011 at 3:08 pm

no matter how many diamonds she wears, she is still fucking a disgusting toad

tessiee May 26, 2011 at 10:46 pm

That pretty much says all that needs to be said.

Swampgas_Man May 26, 2011 at 3:09 pm

Surely there's a society somewhere against cruelty to Sexbots.

Though finding out this is all over good old fashioned greed and corruption takes the ick of Newtsex out of it. Somewhat.

mrpuma2u May 26, 2011 at 3:20 pm

Wow, the newt is a high priced corporate whore, with a sneaky corporate whore wife. I am shocked and stunned.

carlgt1 May 26, 2011 at 4:28 pm

it's even more obscene Tiffany's charges non-corporate-whore customers 21% interest in an era when corporations get loans at what, 0.5% nowadays?

anniegetyerfun May 26, 2011 at 5:17 pm

Gingrich's wife worked for the Agriculture Committee, but Tiffany's claims that its lobbying dollars were spent on the House Committee on natural resources. So say the updates on Felix's blog.

HogeyeGrex May 27, 2011 at 4:01 am

Why would they need to spend lobbying money on the AgCom when they have Callista there?

Jukesgrrl May 26, 2011 at 6:37 pm

A page in the State House.

Jukesgrrl May 26, 2011 at 6:38 pm

The Kentucky Colonel?

rocktonsam May 26, 2011 at 6:39 pm

THAT NOSE CAN PUT AN EYE OUT KID

[redacted]hse May 26, 2011 at 6:41 pm

Well, that explains it.

NadePaulKuciGravMcKi May 26, 2011 at 8:38 pm

one more time
Callista and Newt
Newt and Callista
Callista and Newt
one more time

ttommyunger May 26, 2011 at 8:42 pm

Little known fact: Callista Bisek is a common name of Lithuanian origin and quite literally in that language translates as: "Ginormous Female Naughty Bits". Newt Gingrich, on the other hand, is of unknown origin, but is accepted universally to mean "Classless Asshole".

Walkinwiddaking May 26, 2011 at 8:47 pm

Talk about Instant Karma.

tessiee May 26, 2011 at 10:09 pm

To borrow a turn of phrase from an eighth-grade classmate:
Fat turd.

tessiee May 26, 2011 at 10:37 pm

Well, that, and trickling down jerbs on the rest of us…
any day now…

alaninthecastro May 27, 2011 at 1:05 pm

Come on, don't tell me you don't have a half-million dollar line of interest-free credit at Shane Co.

keepintime1592 May 27, 2011 at 2:04 pm

…"after Newt pulls out in shame …. which, come to think of it, is probably something he does a lot."

Thanks much, Wonkette! That image will probably haunt me for the rest of my life. Please excuse me now. I have to go wash my mind out with lye soap or something.

KeepFnThatChicken May 26, 2011 at 12:30 pm

I am laughing so hard at all these, I can't even upfist. The mouse keeps jerkin' up and down over the button.

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