PRINCE CHARMING  8:39 am May 26, 2011

Newt Gingrich Such a Gift To Nation’s Headline Writers

by Wonkette Jr.

Mr. Romantic ... until you get cancer, or get old.So happy about this Reuters headline, captured above: “Republican Gingrich defiant over Tiffany’s account.” And who said chivalry was dead? Really, who said that? We want to know, so we can send Newt Gingrich over with his maxed-out $500,000 Tiffany’s credit line and the cure for cancer. (Oh yes, Newt has the cure for cancer. It’s called divorce your old wife when she gets cancer.) But why shouldn’t he maintain a half-million-dollar Tiffany’s line of credit? Who knows when he’ll meet the next Mrs. Gingrich? Would you want to be cash short but romance rich when you meet Mrs. Gingrich #4?

Reuters:

“People should be free to spend their own money the way they see fit,” the former House speaker said at a campaign stop in Manchester, New Hampshire, noting that he and his third wife, Callista, have virtually no debt.

This is what he has to talk about at “campaign stops,” in New Hampshire? Oh, Newt. Newty Newty Newt Newt. Not with all the Tiffany’s product in the world plus all the Tiffany’s stock in the world would we let you touch us with your pasty little troll hands, you horrifying cancer vampire.

UPDATE: This really seemed to absurd to be true, but we’re new here: Newt’s latest wife was a lobbyist for the jewelry company, and that’s why Newt was rewarded with a half-million-dollar 0% credit line, because he also cheated on the law by favoring Tiffany in some legislation, so as a bribe he got this permanent zero-interest $500,000 credit line from the now-tacky jeweler. Guess it’s not really in my interest — or the public interest! — to dismiss anything at all as “absurd.” Can we do another post about this now? [Reuters]

 
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Hola wonkerados.

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{ 177 comments }

jdoleman May 26, 2011 at 8:41 am

Breakfast at Tiffany’s must be more expensive that I thought.

johnnymeatworth May 26, 2011 at 9:26 am

Well, it WAS the only hit Deep Blue Something ever had….

horsedreamer_1 May 26, 2011 at 9:26 am

Newt is a Shallow White Something.

johnnymeatworth May 26, 2011 at 9:33 am

Shallow WIDE Something, more like it.

horsedreamer_1 May 26, 2011 at 9:44 am

That, too, also.

Crank_Tango May 26, 2011 at 10:31 am

Newt is the shallow white puddle in the bellybutton of american politics. At least that's how I read it…

Lascauxcaveman May 26, 2011 at 10:46 am

Breakfast at Tiffany’s must be more expensive that I thought.

Looking at Newt, I'd say it's hella fattening, too.

Negropolis May 26, 2011 at 11:49 pm

Sounds like Jimmy McMillan's "breakfast, lunch, & dinner" at Tiffany's.

Chillwaver May 26, 2011 at 8:41 am

Newt is right on this one: why pay for chemo when you can buy diamonds???

KeepFnThatChicken May 26, 2011 at 8:43 am

“People should be free to spend their own money the way they see fit,” says the man who thinks a line of credit is his money.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 26, 2011 at 9:00 am

But … I thought the Newtster was against deficit spending.
Are his grandchildren going to pay for this? And if so, will they ever be able to sort out who pays for which granny's bling?

mumbly_joe May 26, 2011 at 9:34 am

To be fair, Calista happened to work for a congressional committee that Tiffany's was lobbying at exactly the time that the Newts racked up that interest-free $500,000 credit line, so it's probably better to think of this as a kickback in the tune of whatever the interest, over a decade or two, on 500k is.

So, in a matter of speaking, that -or more precisely, the lack of interest- is their money. It's just also, you know, a kickback.

V572..whatever May 26, 2011 at 10:33 am

Even reliably left MSM outlets like MSNBC seem to overlook this inconvenient fact.

horsedreamer_1 May 26, 2011 at 10:37 am

Rachel's trying to save her job.

Ed Schultz might be beyond redemption, though.

V572..whatever May 26, 2011 at 11:11 am

Can’t really bear that Ed Show guy. Rachel doesn’t seem like the kind of girl who considers diamonds her best friend.

donner_froh May 26, 2011 at 8:44 am

One could accept Newt being a horrifying cancer vampire if he wasn't such a perfect example of a disgusting human being and a washed up GOP mouthpiece.

jaytingle May 26, 2011 at 9:06 am

You know who else had a $500k LOC at Der Blingen Haus?

LesBontemps May 26, 2011 at 9:15 am

All of them, Katie.

horsedreamer_1 May 26, 2011 at 9:27 am

Tom from MySpace?

trampndirtdown May 26, 2011 at 9:42 am

Lilo?

PhilippePetain May 26, 2011 at 11:31 am

Mr. T?

hollywooddood May 26, 2011 at 8:45 am

It would take more than half a mil in Tiffany's diamonds for me to get near that.

Everybody has their price.

ManchuCandidate May 26, 2011 at 8:51 am

Callista's price is getting rocks for helping getting Newt's/Tiffany's rocks off.

Negropolis May 26, 2011 at 11:52 pm

Crack, diamonds, or both?

PsycWench May 26, 2011 at 9:19 am

Mine, for example, would be removing the gun from one of my children's heads. Not my own…I think I'd rather die.

tessiee May 26, 2011 at 12:08 pm

Do I get to kill him painfully afterwards?

riverside68 May 26, 2011 at 12:56 pm

The problem is that half a mil in Tiffany ice is probably only going to get $50k on 47th St.

If it was half a mil in cash I would think about about giving Newt 20 minutes, then I could sell my story to Enquirer, since I am a live boy. (I agree that does give me an unfair advantage over a girl, who would have to be dead to get the same coverage.)

memzilla May 26, 2011 at 8:46 am

I'm so old fashioned I think that Whore Diamonds shouldn't count until they're paid for. Much like whores themselves.

Chillwaver May 26, 2011 at 8:48 am

"I'll keep my diamonds, Bentleys, whores and freedumz, you can keep the change!"

donner_froh May 26, 2011 at 8:49 am

Newt goes from abject apology for questioning Paul Ryan's plan to slaughter old people to defending his half-million dollar debt to a luxury jewelry store. This probably isn't how he planned his campaign.

ManchuCandidate May 26, 2011 at 8:54 am

Shockingly he thought it would have gone as well as Patton's campaign in Tunisia in 1943 or Rommell's in 1941, but that was under the (extremely faulty) assumption he was equal to either of them in the political arena.

Gingrich is Fake Southern for Fredenhall or Spinal Tap.

BaldarTFlagass May 26, 2011 at 9:06 am

I predict that it will end up like Elphinstone's Afghan campaign of 1841-2.

ManchuCandidate May 26, 2011 at 9:14 am

I think Elpy's campaign of disaster will be considered a stunning success compared to Newt's. At least the doddering fool was at Waterloo. The best Newt can do is sing ABBA's Waterloo.

SorosBot May 26, 2011 at 9:43 am

The thing is, Newt reached his Waterloo a long time ago, but isn't self-aware enough to remember that Napoleon did surrender, oh yeah, and he should meet his destiny in quite a similar way, instead of sticking around and annoying us.

tessiee May 26, 2011 at 12:43 pm

"The best Newt can do is sing ABBA's Waterloo."

Upfisted just for mentioning ABBA.

CapeClod May 26, 2011 at 9:11 am

All battle plans become obsolete as soon as the first whore is paid.

ManchuCandidate May 26, 2011 at 9:27 am

Good thing General Hooker got there before Gingrich did.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 26, 2011 at 8:56 am

People do funny things when they've got a bad Koch habit.

Beowoof May 26, 2011 at 9:26 am

Isn't that a Koch with a bad habit of deserting sick wives?

bagofmice May 26, 2011 at 11:40 am

Duh. Winning!

Chillwaver May 26, 2011 at 9:05 am

"This probably isn't how he planned his campaign. "

I'm not quite sure how much "planning" was involved. I mean, given his track record of impulse spending and serial adultery, Newt seems more like a spur-of-the moment kinda guy, doesn't he?

Biel_ze_Bubba May 26, 2011 at 9:22 am

We already had a president who "followed his gut." That worked out really well.
And before that, a president who followed his nut. Ditto.

ManchuCandidate May 26, 2011 at 8:49 am

You say that I'm just a fat faced loser
No common ground to start from
And I just get blow jobs
You'll say there's just nothing between us
but ethics have come between us
And I know you like jewels

CHORUS:
And I said what about "Bribery from Tiffany's?
She said, "I think I remember the price,
And as I recall, I think, you wanted to get some for me."
And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got.

SorosBot May 26, 2011 at 9:13 am

Gah. The article itself reminded me of that horrible, horrible song, then you have to do this; and once again show how artistically bankrupt rock was in the late 90s (and has pretty much stayed until today).

ManchuCandidate May 26, 2011 at 9:28 am

Catchy tune, but unbelievably stupid lyrics. Perfect song for mockery, I think.

Is it any wonder the band was a one hit wonder?

horsedreamer_1 May 26, 2011 at 9:47 am

1995-96 is late 90s? It was still Clinton's first term!

But trying to argue this, I feel like I'm standing outside a broken phone-booth with money in my hand.

Grief_Lessons May 26, 2011 at 9:54 am

I agree. Comments about 90's one-hit wonders are virtual insanity.

horsedreamer_1 May 26, 2011 at 10:40 am

I know. For all that, she'll never be my woman.

tihond May 26, 2011 at 10:46 am

Some would say Newt's debt has become cumbersome, but he just ran it up counting blue cars. He wonders if this debt will hurt him with the cotton eyed joes out there or if they'll think he's one of us, just a stranger on a bus.

Then again, maybe Newt is a Bandito, seeing just how far the Republican party wants to go. Or maybe he's a lovefool for America who loves us, loves us, says that he loves us.

Personally by my naked eye, I can see he's the natural one for the nomination. How bizarre.

Something something Verve Pipe, freshman. Something something, Hey, Macarena.

baconzgood May 26, 2011 at 8:50 am

“People should be free to spend their own money the way they see fit,”

"People should be free to buy gold so they can fuck thier own mistresses the way they see fit"

(FIXED)

Grief_Lessons May 26, 2011 at 9:55 am

People SHOULD be free to spend their own money the way they see fit, and other people SHOULD be free to point out that some people are fat bloviating douchebags, the way they spend their money.

Goonemeritus May 26, 2011 at 8:51 am

Not just a $500,000 debt it’s an interest free $500,000 debt. Plan to call Tiffany’s later see if I can get on this, some pin money would come in handy to stock up on canned goods and ammunition.

LouBristol May 26, 2011 at 9:36 am

there's nothing to say the Blingrichs have actually paid back this debt. When the GoldenSphereHead left her Congressional staffer position, she no longer had to disclose her finances and no one knows whether this debt was paid off or simply waived by Tiffany's as part of their lobbying effort.

V572..whatever May 26, 2011 at 10:40 am

Newt's been claiming it's paid in full. He'd never lie to us.

LouBristol May 26, 2011 at 12:09 pm

Paid in full? The previous wife's life insurance came through, huh?

Terry May 26, 2011 at 9:37 am

Tiffany's put out a press release saying that they have two types of accounts, the regular interest credit account and an interest free, one year to pay account that is directed at purchases such as engagement rings.

Crank_Tango May 26, 2011 at 10:39 am

a half million dollar engagement ring? that bitch sure ain't j-lo.

skoalrebel May 26, 2011 at 8:52 am

Who's Tiffany? She some kinda hooker?

donner_froh May 26, 2011 at 8:59 am

An obvious stripper name. Probably "Tiffani Sterling".

Fare la Volpe May 26, 2011 at 9:13 am

Tiffany Sailors-Lately.

baconzgood May 26, 2011 at 9:11 am

http://unfairadvantagemusic.com/wp-content/upload

She was a short lived sugar coated bubble gum pop star in the mid 80s

SorosBot May 26, 2011 at 9:45 am

Hey now, Tiffany's much bigger now than she was in the 80s. That is literally bigger; girl got fat.

baconzgood May 26, 2011 at 10:45 am

That's called the Kirstie Alley Effect.

arihaya May 26, 2011 at 11:41 am

a certain Thai ladyboy

(really,, that is one of their most common pseudonym)

102415 May 26, 2011 at 12:26 pm

Donald Trump's daughter. Look it up sheeple!

Arken May 26, 2011 at 8:53 am

He's right. People should be free to spend their own money the way they see fit.

They just shouldn't expect to be elected to public office if they spend their money in certain ways.

Crank_Tango May 26, 2011 at 10:41 am

Yeah and I am not so sure the issue is the spending of the money as much as it is the getting of said money. fucking moran this lizard person is.

Arken May 26, 2011 at 10:45 am

I think it's both. After all, a president has to present a budget and he's proven he's not especially good at budgeting.

BaldarTFlagass May 26, 2011 at 8:53 am

"You're not the king of me!"

prommie May 26, 2011 at 10:03 am

"Life is unfair." TMBG

ThundercatHo May 26, 2011 at 8:54 am

"I think people ought to be able to manage their own reproductive organs the way that they see fit."

There, fixed.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 26, 2011 at 9:24 am

Well, yeah, they ought to be. How's that relevant, again?

tessiee May 26, 2011 at 12:55 pm

"I think people who are not women ought to be able to manage their own reproductive organs the way that they see fit."

fxd fxd

PuckStopsHere May 26, 2011 at 2:16 pm

Reflecting on reproductive organs puts me in mind of this, and I've been meaning for some time now to bring it up: Who's fucking this guy? How is this even possible? How could you get down (I'm a child of the '70s) with a guy who's named after a goddamn salamander? How?

Biel_ze_Bubba May 26, 2011 at 8:55 am

He bought a very nice engagement ring there. It's inscribed "To Whom It May Concern."

PsycWench May 26, 2011 at 9:18 am

I thought there was an underlined space labelled "her name here".

Biel_ze_Bubba May 26, 2011 at 9:25 am

A peel-off sticker, actually.

Texan_Bulldog May 26, 2011 at 8:55 am

Ha ha. Note to Newt: Trollops aren't going to hang around you just because you're such an awesome guy with a winning personality.

V572..whatever May 26, 2011 at 10:42 am

They say women like a man who can make them laugh. Probably not at the man himself, though.

riverside68 May 26, 2011 at 1:02 pm

Newt to TB: "Well duh! Why the fuck do you think I have a line of credit at Tiffany's?"

Biel_ze_Bubba May 26, 2011 at 5:11 pm

Trollops? Wasn't he a Victorian writer?

4tehlulz_lite May 26, 2011 at 8:55 am

"I should be free to spend your money as I see fit."

Decoded for truth.

lefty74 May 26, 2011 at 8:55 am

Speaking of panhandlers. A homeless guy walked up to me and asked for money the other day. Said he had nothing. I got a car payment, house payment, health insurance bills, kid's college, and on and on. Don't need a calculator to figure out that he, with nothing, is financially in better shape than I am. He still got a Lincoln out of me.

GuyClinch May 26, 2011 at 9:44 am

Jeesh, you gave him a penny?! Cheapskate.

tessiee May 26, 2011 at 12:57 pm

"He still got a Lincoln out of me."

What kind of car do you usually give panhandlers?

Biel_ze_Bubba May 26, 2011 at 5:13 pm

I never give anything more than a Chevy … maybe a Buick, if the guy's got a good patter.

Captain_Quark May 26, 2011 at 8:56 am

I thought the guy in the photo was Pope Benny reaching out his pasty digit to caress an altar boy.
But, no, it's just Da Newt and his detachable penis.

Suddenly, the old King Missle song seems fresh and new.

DaSandman May 26, 2011 at 8:58 am

Well the real question is how is it that the Salamander got a "standard, interest free account" when Tiffany's regular interrest is 21%.

This is gonna get as juicy as Callista on diamond night.

Terry May 26, 2011 at 9:39 am

Tiffany's has a special interest free account for special purchases like engagement rings that has to be paid off in a year.

prommie May 26, 2011 at 10:05 am

That Callista, she doesn't look very juicy, she looks like she is one with whom the artificial lube is a sine qua non, if you know what I mean.

riverside68 May 26, 2011 at 1:07 pm

No body said anything about natural juice. All that KY can make a situation even juicier than ah natural

BaldarTFlagass May 26, 2011 at 8:59 am

I guess buying that chick diamonds and other shit from Tiffany's is like dressing up your Barbie doll. That woman skeeves me out.

(And there's this guy from the GOP he's creepin' around Calista's canyon)

A fine little girl she waits for me
She's as plastic as she can be
She paints her face with plastic goo
And wrecks her hair with some shampoo

Plastic people
Oh, baby, now you're such a drag

Mort_Sinclair May 26, 2011 at 9:00 am

Word of the Day: larval adj. Of or pertaining to former U.S. congressman Newt Gingrich

Fare la Volpe May 26, 2011 at 9:01 am

Newt and his bony appendage look like one half of the Sistine Chapel. The other half, of course, removed from this photo, is Callista reaching out with her diamond-studded clit.

ManchuCandidate May 26, 2011 at 10:03 am

You just ruined memories of a fine evening I had with a woman with a pierced clit.

Thank you very much. I feel as impotent as Newt right now.

V572..whatever May 26, 2011 at 10:45 am

What do you suppose a pair of Sterling ben-wa balls goes for at Tiffany? Couldn't find them in the on-line catalog. Maybe Callista could give them a call.

Crank_Tango May 26, 2011 at 11:11 am

is that what you got for graduation, a vajazzling?

would you like it for graduation?

PuckStopsHere May 26, 2011 at 2:23 pm

Maybe the worst single image I've ever had in my minds eye, and I sat through Slapshot II.

carlgt1 May 26, 2011 at 9:03 am

isn't this the sort of horrible deficit spending Repugs are supposed to be against?

CapeClod May 26, 2011 at 9:06 am

“People should be free to spend their own money the way they see fit,”

They are. The problem is that if you are a politician and you shower your latest mistress with diamonds, then that has a cost in itself.

DaSandman May 26, 2011 at 10:20 am

maybe diamonds ward off cancer in scary looking trophy wifes?

OC_Surf_Serf May 26, 2011 at 9:06 am

Yeah Newt, screaming "Go ask Tiffany's" is sooooo Presidential.

LesBontemps May 26, 2011 at 9:11 am

A fortune for Tiffany's, but nothing for rhinoplasty?

James Michael Curley May 26, 2011 at 9:14 am

Tiffany's told the press they will not release any information about the Newt with the prefix, "At the request of Mr. Gingrich … "

Sounds like they are inviting a wikileaker.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 26, 2011 at 9:16 am

Well, it's a whole lot more subtle than a bagful of uncut diamonds.

For tax purposes, an interest-free loan is income. The IRS might find it of considerable, err, interest.

freakishlywrong May 26, 2011 at 9:16 am

Newt-another right-wing slut.

BaldarTFlagass May 26, 2011 at 9:17 am

I wonder if he bangs the counter girl in the stock room when he goes to buy diamonds, because he loves his country so much.

SorosBot May 26, 2011 at 9:17 am

It's been 13 years since this little amphibian troll has been relevant, and the best he can hope for in any primary is 5%; why won't he just go away, or the media just start ignoring him?

Biel_ze_Bubba May 26, 2011 at 9:28 am

He must have a book in the works. Or a show at Faux News, if he doesn't already have one.

freakishlywrong May 26, 2011 at 9:29 am

Define "media".

Oblios_Cap May 26, 2011 at 9:20 am

He has maxed out a 500K line of credit but he and Calypso "have virtually no debt"?

I can see why the RNC is in such fine financial condition.

ManchuCandidate May 26, 2011 at 9:30 am

Loyalty is a two way street. I think that divorcing wife with cancer pretty much blew up that street forever for Newt.

horsedreamer_1 May 26, 2011 at 9:30 am

If he gets the nomination, you know he'll transfer the guarantor's name to the RNC, a la the Heath-Palin Gang's run at Saks. ("Piper needs a new pair of shoes!")

Terry May 26, 2011 at 9:31 am

The fact that Newty or Mrs Newty ran up a huge debt at Tiffany's two years in a row is going go over really well with the ridge runners, swamp yankees, and hippies up in New Hampshire.

[redacted]hse May 26, 2011 at 10:09 am

Both of them.

PuckStopsHere May 26, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Where are they going to hear about it?

smitallica May 26, 2011 at 9:34 am

Newt is defiant over Tiffany's account, and positively recalcitrant over Debbie Gibson's account.

tessiee May 26, 2011 at 1:04 pm

Upfisted just for the use of the word "recalcitrant".

YasserArraFeck May 26, 2011 at 9:37 am

This conversation about Newty's family jewels is making me all squirmish.

bflrtsplk May 26, 2011 at 9:45 am

Jus' wondering if our favorite salamander will ask for a government bailout when he can't keep up with the payments.

Tundra Grifter May 26, 2011 at 9:45 am

Folks who have breakfast at Wal*Mart aren't going to vote for a joker who has breakfast at Tiffany's.

trampndirtdown May 26, 2011 at 10:24 am

Since when?

Nothingisamiss May 26, 2011 at 4:23 pm

Why would you believe this? I only wish they would open their minds as much as their mouths.

Pragmatist2 May 26, 2011 at 9:47 am

Tongue stud or nipple rings? What's your guess?

Oblios_Cap May 26, 2011 at 9:54 am

Penis ring?

[redacted]hse May 26, 2011 at 10:10 am

Anal piercings.

horsedreamer_1 May 26, 2011 at 10:43 am

"They're sick of the whole pooping thing".

tessiee May 26, 2011 at 1:05 pm

"Anal piercings."

Wouldn't that interfere with his anal cysts?

Oh, wait; that's the *other* fat, man-whorey, draft-dodging blowhard.

V572..whatever May 26, 2011 at 10:47 am

Sterling silver ben-wa balls, with "Newt" engraved on one and "Callista" on the other. Everyone's doing it these days.

Boredw/Gravitas May 26, 2011 at 9:48 am

Newt should just buy a tiara and make himself king of the world.

metamarcisf May 26, 2011 at 9:50 am

Trig is a slut. Suspend me.

V572..whatever May 26, 2011 at 10:50 am

When you regard her anorexic frame or listen to her punitive screechings, does sex w/Laura Ingraham come to mind?

seppdecker May 26, 2011 at 9:55 am

"Horrifying cancer vampire" is what you become when you eat Count Chocula every day. I think Newt is more like a man-sized leech, sucking humanity out of anyone dumb enough to let him attach.

Weenus299 May 26, 2011 at 9:57 am

"he and his third wife, Callista, have virtually no debt."

~ Virtually = $500,000. With the house and the wife's unpayable student loan, we only have half-virtually no debt.

Sassomatic May 26, 2011 at 9:57 am

Sure, people should be able to spend their money they way they see fit. Like for gay weddings, for example.

[redacted]hse May 26, 2011 at 10:01 am

And what the fuck does Tiffany's need with a lobbyist? They're all fucking thieves and criminals.

el_donaldo May 26, 2011 at 10:03 am

So Newt waffles on Libya and Medicare, but decides to stand his ground on the Tiffany account? Is there anyone who still doesn't know that Newt's a sociopath?

neiltheblaze May 26, 2011 at 10:03 am

Well, it's comforting to know that his home-wrecker bimbo wife was at least smart enough to get paid off first before balling this pudgy faced impotent troll.

YasserArraFeck May 26, 2011 at 10:37 am

She just keeps repeating "DiamondsDiamondsDiamonds…." to herself over and over until the grunting ceases, and she's off the hook for another week

Tundra Grifter May 26, 2011 at 10:04 am

Pretty much all you need to know about Mr. Gingrich is that for the last fifteen years his first name has been "Former."

OneYieldRegular May 26, 2011 at 10:06 am

Indeed. I mean, how can they not still appreciate the favor Truman Capote did for them? If I were working PR for Tiffany's, I'd walk out the door (or slit my wrists) – not simply because this story does them no favors, but also because it completely destroys their meticulously built and until now carefully managed brand.

YasserArraFeck May 26, 2011 at 10:13 am

The term "trickle down" should not appear within ten miles of any conversation involving Newt Gingrich – the involuntary images it conjures up are really too horrifying and nauseating to contemplate.

Crank_Tango May 26, 2011 at 10:58 am

messy!

tessiee May 26, 2011 at 1:09 pm

Unless, of course, they involve his severed head on a pike.

carlgt1 May 26, 2011 at 10:44 am

what cracks me up is these are the same sorts of assholes that begrudge someone an increase in their minimum wage. I guess (like Bristol & Sarah Palin) they just can't understand why people can make money so easy & sleazy!

Crank_Tango May 26, 2011 at 10:45 am

well in tiffany's' defense–they prolly had no idea newt would be so stupid as to ever seek public office again, much less the presidency.

iburl May 26, 2011 at 10:52 am

Hey, I think it's really cool that there are no more hungry people in Newt's hometown. BLING TIME!

Doktor Zoom May 26, 2011 at 11:03 am

Huh. Last night my ex and I met at her place to break the news to our son about her upcoming treatment for breast cancer (very early stage, caught early, tiny tumor, should be fine, but still…). I guess by Newt's standards I don't love America enough?

mrblifil May 26, 2011 at 11:31 am

Suddenly I have a hankering to watch Dustin Hoffman force Gingrich to eat a couple dozen diamonds at gunpoint.

thefrontpage May 26, 2011 at 11:42 am

Gingrich has zero business holding any political office, running for any political office, talking about politics, being involved in politics, or participating in government or politics in any manner on any level. He is simply a moron.

tessiee May 26, 2011 at 1:11 pm

Or existing.

Guppy06 May 26, 2011 at 11:45 am

“People should be free to spend their own money the way they see fit,”

Is he defending his line of jewelry credit, or GE's tax bill?

BZ1 May 26, 2011 at 11:50 am

Barf-fast at Tiffany's?

tessiee May 26, 2011 at 12:10 pm

Excuse me, may I have your attention please?

The next time this asswipe says anything at all whatsoever about the sanctity of marriage, would every gay person on earth go over there and kick him square in the nuts?

Thank you.

tessiee May 26, 2011 at 12:45 pm

Even an old heathen like me can see that God's revenge on Republicans for behaving like such pigs is to make them *look* exactly like pigs.

See also Bush, Jeb.

tessiee May 26, 2011 at 12:56 pm

Especially when you're making those romantic gestures to your spouse du jour.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 26, 2011 at 5:09 pm

Callista: "Good morning!"
Newt: "Huh? Oh… umm… (checks the calendar), good morning… (checks his diary) ah … Callista?"

PhilippePetain May 26, 2011 at 2:05 pm

It's true. he's a little on the dense side, and every time I see him, I'm a little offended that this is what programmers think that liberals would want.

This should make Fox news bragging about how they really pull the idiots in and have high ratings a little bit embarrassing for conservatives, but of course they'll never look at anything with these eyes.

gurukalehuru May 26, 2011 at 3:52 pm

I can't help but think that Michael Steele would have gotten more for the $500,000.

Negropolis May 27, 2011 at 12:02 am

He can pinch a penny when he wants to, and by "pinch a penny" I mean Penny, the girl down at the lesbian bondage club.

ttommyunger May 26, 2011 at 6:02 pm

Can't buy class, Fucko. That goes for your wife of the moment also, too, as well as…

NadePaulKuciGravMcKi May 26, 2011 at 8:22 pm

over and over and over
Newt and Callista
Callista and Newt
Newt and Callista
over and over and over

Negropolis May 26, 2011 at 11:50 pm

Like actual diamonds, whore diamonds are also forever, it seems.

Newton, you know where your braind-dead constituency gets their engagement rings from? The jewelry desk at WalMart. Chew on that, you elitist, out-of-touch slug.

ShaveTheWhales May 27, 2011 at 5:31 am

I'm Your Penis?

ShaveTheWhales May 27, 2011 at 5:51 am

So, a probably irrelevant question. Independent of the size of his zero-interest credit limit, I think I've read that there have been purchases from Tiffie in the $250 — 500K range over the last few years. Which have been paid off. Groovy.

Who pays this motherfucker? And how much? 'Cause, look, I was a middle-management robot, and during my five best years I made, say $250K a year, and I bought my wife maybe $50K worth of jewelry. That would be about 4% of my income (I was giddy — shoot me) or 20% of one year's income.

If we assume the same percentage for jewelry, the collective Gingrich annual income turns out to be $1.25M to $2.5M. Now, people do make that kind of money, but not usually for playing French horn in a community orchestra.

P.S., Of course I know (more or less) how the scumbag has been paid. I'm just giving an example of how stupid he is to think that he can portray himself as an outsider.

Barb May 26, 2011 at 10:11 am

And judging from the size of their tab at Tiffany's, cock rings aren't cheap either.

Crank_Tango May 26, 2011 at 10:37 am

you know who else was a foreign-born leader of a nation that conquered europe and didn't understand the concept of russian winters…

horsedreamer_1 May 26, 2011 at 10:38 am

Slowly poisoned by mercury-lined wallpaper?

horsedreamer_1 May 26, 2011 at 10:37 am

Like a can of Crisco left in the sun too long.

BarryOPotter May 26, 2011 at 10:48 am

And judging from the size of their tab at Tiffany's, cock rings aren't cheap either.

It's hard to get curly-ques and fleur-de-lys-enhanced inscriptions correct on something that small. No matter how great an artisan you may be…

Grief_Lessons May 26, 2011 at 10:48 am

You forgot the smell of sex and candy.

donner_froh May 26, 2011 at 10:55 am

Mithridates?

PhilippePetain May 26, 2011 at 11:27 am

Emir Musa ibn-Nusair?

PhilippePetain May 26, 2011 at 11:23 am

"Hey, I know what the left would like! A stupid ignoramus blowhard just like Rush Limbaugh, but he's LIBERAL!"

-MSNBC programming wizards + profit and fun

SorosBot May 26, 2011 at 12:17 pm

That makes me feel like someone did steal my sunshine.

bikerlaureate May 26, 2011 at 1:02 pm

The 'Dancing Queen' ringtone is making more sense.

mumbly_joe May 26, 2011 at 5:37 pm

Wasn't there a Salon piece on how Schultz was probably kinda calculating on that front too, and suddenly had a complete 180-degree liberal conversion when he realized that Rushbo had basically cornered the market for ignorant right-wing blowhards?

I mean, if the goal was to make us somehow miss Olbermann, then (2,947 days since Bush declared) Mission Accomplished.

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