YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG  1:33 pm May 25, 2011

Sarah Palin Spokesperson Savagely Attacks Bristol Palin

by Wonkette Jr.

Finally, a post about Bristol Palin and Tucker Carlson, so we can use this weird old picture.Reality-television curiosity Sarah Palin has a crazy spokesperson who can’t seem to shut up on Twitter. That’s fine when you’re attacking the liberal elite, but it’s not so fine when the person paid to promote the Palin basic-cable brand is instead verbally attacking one of the actual Palins who makes basic-cable programs. This is what Sarah’s spokesperson Rebecca Mansour has been caught doing: criticizing and insulting abstinence icon Bristol Palin. This is what Mansour wrote about poor Bristol, just because Bristol committed the apparent sin of wanting to get back together with the father of her baby: “Two words: Patti Davis. Okay three more: Ron Reagan Junior. Two more: Billy Carter. Doesn’t your family have one?” By “one” here, Mansour means “embarrassment to a political family.” And she gets paid for this? We would like to apply for the job of insulting the Palin family while being paid by the Palin family. Sarah, call us!

Our Internet crush Alex Pareene explains the other sins Mansour committed, on Twitter:

Tucker Carlson’s Internet Tendency has published a series of private Twitter messages sent by Rebecca Mansour, Sarah Palin’s closest advisor, to an unknown “online-only acquaintance.” The direct messages forwarded to the Daily Caller were sent in the summer of 2010, and they contain a number of unflattering descriptions of various figures in the Republican party and the conservative press ….

Mansour calls Palin “BigBoss” and Mitt Romney “Mittens.” She says “Evangelicals 4 Mitt” is a “fake org.” She calls blogger and CNN personality Erick Erickson “a total douchebag” and a “greasy dumb ass with a talent for self-promotion.”

Is “greasy” a thing people still say? Is Erick Erickson of an ethnicity that’s usually the target of such slurs? Danish or something? Also, didn’t Wonkette ex-editor Jim Newell invent the nickname “Mittens” for Romney? We have never seen “Mittens” anywhere else, mostly because we’ve only ever read about Mitt Romney in Jim Newell posts. [Salon]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 279 comments }

Captain_Quark May 25, 2011 at 1:37 pm

Bristol Palin is the Billy Carter of our times. America has come a long way in 35 years. Once upon a time, we were satisfied with white trash that sat around getting drunk and launching a novelty beer label. Now we demand that our white trash be an unwed teen mom who skanks it up in a phony dance competition, has cosmetic surgery, and launches her own reality show. This is what "Winning the Future" looks like. USA! USA!! USA!!!

Lascauxcaveman May 25, 2011 at 2:04 pm

And it's funny a colorful guy like Bill Clinton gets off the hook here, not having any prominently embarrassing people in his family. Well, except for Bill Clinton.

An_Outhouse May 25, 2011 at 2:06 pm

Clinton's smack addicted brother Roger doesn't count?

horsedreamer_1 May 25, 2011 at 2:15 pm

I thought Rog preferred everyone's favourite strip-club anthem, "Cocaine".

Lascauxcaveman May 25, 2011 at 2:21 pm

Roger? No, not really. Sure, he was gross and pathetic, but not enough of famewhore to get much media attention, as I recall. His story was spun almost immediately into that lame old Dem touchy-feely "oh here's a poor lost soul who needs help" before he really had much of a chance to entertain us. It's too bad; he had potential.

Weenus299 May 25, 2011 at 3:14 pm

BCILF, most definitely.

genxr May 25, 2011 at 3:58 pm

So instead of Billy Beer we get Bristol Meth?

My how this once great nation has fallen.

supernoun May 25, 2011 at 4:31 pm

This is what Jerry Springer has done to us… Thank god!

PuckStopsHere May 25, 2011 at 1:38 pm

I'm sure she was taken out of context by the lame-stream media and/or was responding to a liberal (sorry for the redundancy) reporters gotcha question. It's not like these people to tell the truth, after all.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 25, 2011 at 2:39 pm

Not intended to be an actual tweet.

fuflans May 25, 2011 at 1:39 pm

to be fair, sarah palin's spokesperson would know a:

"greasy dumb ass with a talent for self-promotion.”

hollywooddood May 25, 2011 at 4:43 pm

I know, right? Who's the "total douchebag" now, Rebecca?

ifthethunderdontgetya May 25, 2011 at 1:39 pm

We would like to apply for the job of insulting the Palin family while being paid by the Palin family. Sarah, call us!

Let me know if you need an intern, Wonkette Jr.!
~

CrankyLttlCamperette May 25, 2011 at 1:50 pm

Apply? The Wonkeratti generate that kind of content for free — though a commission would be nice (and about damn time).

Chillwaver May 25, 2011 at 3:41 pm

Remember when she twatted bitching about all the "lamestream" media outlets because they ignored Sarah's "speech" in Madison, WI? Sounds like hard work.

SorosBot May 25, 2011 at 1:39 pm

Two more words and a letter: George W. Bush

Native_of_SL_UT May 25, 2011 at 1:39 pm

“greasy dumb ass with a talent for self-promotion.

Why did she have to go and say that? Now I have a crush on her.

SorosBot May 25, 2011 at 1:46 pm

Then don't look for an image of her; lady's nearly the size of Rush.

BaldarTFlagass May 25, 2011 at 1:49 pm

And has a face like a madman's ass.

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 25, 2011 at 2:06 pm

The bigger the cushion, the better the pushin'

BaldarTFlagass May 25, 2011 at 2:10 pm

"you don't look at the mantlepiece while you're stirring the fire."

riverside68 May 25, 2011 at 2:48 pm

The bigger the waistband, the deeper the quicksand.

DaRooster May 25, 2011 at 2:29 pm

The BAND! (and their roadies)

smokefilledroommate May 25, 2011 at 2:01 pm

That's like having a crush on Ben Franklin.

tessiee May 25, 2011 at 3:22 pm

Disagree; Ben Franklin was smart.

PsycWench May 25, 2011 at 2:49 pm

Meh, I'm pretty sure she copied that out of his Wikipedia page.

mull_man May 25, 2011 at 1:40 pm

Great – I'll be on the lookout for a six-pack of Bristol Beer – "Skanky to the last drop!"

chicken_thief May 25, 2011 at 1:49 pm

When the phallic ice thingy shrivels you'll know the beer is cold.

DaRooster May 25, 2011 at 2:30 pm

"It'll never let you PULL OUT!"

supernoun May 25, 2011 at 4:42 pm

It also nullifies birth control so YOU, TOO can be an unwed abstinent mother!

Callyson May 25, 2011 at 4:51 pm

Which will have the effect of making you want to drink more. Good business strategy on the brewer's part…

smokefilledroommate May 25, 2011 at 1:40 pm

Erick Erickson has a personality?

Callyson May 25, 2011 at 4:52 pm

Erick Erickson has had a personality bypass
/fixed
:-)

Negropolis May 26, 2011 at 4:09 am

He does, and it's a terrible one. It's like a potent amalgam of smugness and bitterness.

slithytoves May 25, 2011 at 1:41 pm

Sarah who?

4tehlulz_lite May 25, 2011 at 1:41 pm

The last entry is:

Mrs. Rebecca Palin
Mrs. Rebecca Palin
Mrs. Rebecca Palin
Mrs. Rebecca Palin
Mrs. Rebecca Palin
Mrs. Rebecca Palin …

AngryGeometer May 25, 2011 at 3:17 pm

…with little "surveyor's marks" dotting the i's.

fuflans May 25, 2011 at 1:41 pm

so jim newell IS Rebecca Mansour?

best. wonkette. prank. ever.

horsedreamer_1 May 25, 2011 at 2:16 pm

The portrayal of Becca's conversion in some Vanity Fair Palin piece — at this point, the Palins are replacing Marilyn, Di, & the Kennedys for prominent Graydon Carter spank-banking — always did strike me as opportunism. Meaning, if Bristol is the new Roger Clinton, is Rebecca Mansour the new David Brock?

An_Outhouse May 25, 2011 at 1:41 pm

Shouldn't this post be titled "Tucker Carlson is Still a Narcissistic Asswipe and Still Publishing Meaningless Horseshit"? 'Mittens' and 'Eric the Greasy Dumbass is a douchebag' are not exactly news.

supernoun May 25, 2011 at 4:44 pm

Seriously! I saw Tucker's name and spit coffee all over my bow tie.

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 25, 2011 at 7:02 pm

Actually, if you just say "Tucker Carlson" the rest if implied.

ShaveTheWhales May 27, 2011 at 3:33 am

Well, now, "Tucker Carlson is Still a Narcissistic Asswipe and Still Publishing Meaningless Horseshit" isn't exactly news either, is it?

PsycWench May 25, 2011 at 1:41 pm

She forgot Roger Clinton.

emmelemm May 25, 2011 at 1:45 pm

Yeah… he's certainly more familiar to me than Billy Carter.

hooray4anything May 25, 2011 at 1:49 pm

If only W was seen as he really was– the Billy Carter of the Bush family.

tessiee May 25, 2011 at 3:24 pm

That means that he'd have to be a worse scumbag/embarrassment than Jeb or Neil.

Flat_Earther May 25, 2011 at 1:56 pm

At least he made music.

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 25, 2011 at 2:08 pm

Where do you think she gets her Meth?

donner_froh May 25, 2011 at 1:41 pm

Love it when thieves fall out.

SorosBot May 25, 2011 at 1:41 pm

Also, we've got one more clue on Wonkette Jr., as the crush on Alex Pareene indicates that our mysterious new overlord is either a lady or a gay man.

Chet Kincaid May 25, 2011 at 1:45 pm

Wait, Alex Pareene is a DUDE?! I always thought "chick", for some reason.

sweetcommunist May 25, 2011 at 1:55 pm

Or a hetero transwoman, or a genderqueer bisexual, or…

But, really, does anyone not have an e-crush on Pareene?

jqheywood May 25, 2011 at 2:17 pm

His Apple Fanboy rant on Gawker was the best:
http://gawker.com/373146/apple-fetishists-grow-up

Ken Cuccinelli May 25, 2011 at 5:24 pm

Yeah, sorry. I agree with everything he says but PCs, esp. PC laptops, are cost-driven piles of Taiwanese fabricated shit. Microsoft has encouraged this sort of thing because if you have to buy a new laptop every 2 years, it means Windows license revenue for them.

So you can "overpay" for a MBP or you can "overpay" for a Lenovo Thinkpad. I'll grant you that head to head, the Lenovo is probably a better value for the money- but you cannot deny that Apple laptops are extremely well constructed.

But these people who rant about Apple and then turn around and don't blink when their six-month-old HP laptop cracks a screen hinge, I can't stand. It's like these people desire shitty technology just because it's not Apple-made.

horsedreamer_1 May 25, 2011 at 2:17 pm

So, Jiz Lee is branching into politics/commentary?

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 25, 2011 at 2:13 pm

I was thinking the same thing. And then, reading this:

Mansour calls Palin “BigBoss” and Mitt Romney “Mittens.” She says “Evangelicals 4 Mitt” is a “fake org.” She calls blogger and CNN personality Erick Erickson “a total douchebag” and a “greasy dumb ass with a talent for self-promotion.”

And I figure that Wonkette Jr. is either Ms. Mansour, or Jim Newell is gay and the chief spokesman for Sarah Palin. Either way, I'm fine with it.

OneYieldRegular May 25, 2011 at 1:42 pm

You misunderstand, in typically lamestream fashion. These comments were only surveyor's marks.

mumbly_joe May 25, 2011 at 1:42 pm

Huh. So, being with "child out of wedlock"== "the moral role-model of a generation", but "wanting to stay together, for the children"=="profound political embarrassment".

Are these people sure that they're conservatives?

PuckStopsHere May 25, 2011 at 1:43 pm

How'd 'ya get to zero p on this altogether excellent bit of commentating in less than 2 mins??? Down. Fister. About.

mumbly_joe May 25, 2011 at 1:43 pm

BREAKING NEWS: Erick Erickson is a douchebag, film at 11.

lefty74 May 25, 2011 at 1:43 pm

Heed! Pants! Its gargantuan. Like a Sputnik!

prommie May 25, 2011 at 2:08 pm

I have no idea what this means, but I love it.

Guppy06 May 25, 2011 at 5:13 pm

"So I Married an Axe Murderer," probably the last decent film to star Mike Myers.

ShaveTheWhales May 27, 2011 at 3:34 am

Sputnutz!!!!!!!1!!!!!

Barb May 25, 2011 at 1:43 pm

Mansour calls Palin “BigBoss”
Good answer, Mansour! we would have also excepted "Moosalini" "stupid cum catcher" and "the gal Todd fucks when his hooker has her monthly cycle'

chicken_thief May 25, 2011 at 1:52 pm

"Trig's granny" also works. Too.

DashboardBuddha May 25, 2011 at 1:53 pm

"his hooker has her monthly cycle"

Don't they have more than one hooker in AK, or are they all on the same cycle?

Barb May 25, 2011 at 2:00 pm

Wow, I didn't mean to call it "monthly cycle" I should have said "riding her red snow machine" Sorry!

DashboardBuddha May 25, 2011 at 2:17 pm

"riding her red snow machine"

Very good…is this phrase in common usage? If it isn't, it will be now.

user-of-owls May 25, 2011 at 2:14 pm

*sigh*

How could you possibly leave out Lizzie's ultimate descriptor: "dozy cunt."

emmelemm May 25, 2011 at 2:22 pm

Isn't that usually applied to dudes, though, for extra impact? (And Britishness?)

BaldarTFlagass May 25, 2011 at 1:43 pm

She calls blogger and CNN personality Erick Erickson “a total douchebag” and a “greasy dumb ass with a talent for self-promotion.”

Even the blind squirrel finds an acorn now and then.

elviouslyqueer May 25, 2011 at 1:48 pm

I call partial bullshit on this one, as the "greasy dumb ass with a talent for self-promotion" so totally applies to her "BigBoss."

jqheywood May 25, 2011 at 2:19 pm

Yeah, but to be fair, it applies to a LOT of people (& I am using "people" in the loosest possible sense here…)

emmelemm May 25, 2011 at 1:50 pm

In this case, it's more like pot, meet kettle.

memzilla May 25, 2011 at 1:44 pm

Oh Rebecca… we've told you that oxy, meth, alcohol, and a Roget's Thesaurus don't mix.

WhatTheHeck May 25, 2011 at 1:44 pm

No. Goddamnit. Our family does not have “one.” Its just that we don’t talk to certain members of the family. So how could they be “an embarrassment” if we don’t talk to them?
In the case of Bristol. Just ignore her and she’ll go away.

Jukesgrrl May 25, 2011 at 8:19 pm

To Arizona. With her mother on her heels. And I'm sure it's no coincidence the Jon Kyl isn't running for reelection.

Radiotherapy May 25, 2011 at 1:44 pm

I hope this doesn't affect Sarah's electability.

hagajim May 25, 2011 at 1:46 pm

I read that Bristol doesn't think there is such a thing as dating….maybe there is, if you don't take the cock every time you go out…

tessiee May 25, 2011 at 3:27 pm

Either that, or she's just not familiar with the use of the word "dating" as a euphemism for bamp-chicka-bamp.

Chet Kincaid May 25, 2011 at 1:47 pm

The Final Test: How does the Applicant handle a Palin Post?….The wonk is strong in this one!

BaldarTFlagass May 25, 2011 at 1:53 pm

Still have to do the Spice Agony test?
I guess the Palin Post will do.

DaSandman May 25, 2011 at 1:47 pm

The swamp sows of Palin, Inc have turned on each other. Lets pull up a seat and enjoy the carnage.

Ladies and gentlemen, place your bets…

tessiee May 25, 2011 at 3:28 pm

I'll make the popcorn.

SayItWithWookies May 25, 2011 at 1:47 pm

Oh, Bristol doesn't hold a candle to Billy Carter. We've evolved since the 1970s, and now our politicians (well, Sarah at least) is far more of an embarrassment than any of her other family members or wayward offspring could be. Carter couldn't handle being president, but at least he was smart enough to realize that he was in over his head. Dubya, on the other hand, wrecked the joint and thinks he's some sort of combination of Churchill, Marshall and Bismarck. Hell, Bristol could probably beat her mom in an election if they ran against each other.

seppdecker May 25, 2011 at 1:52 pm

I think you've just given Red State an erection with "Palin vs. Palin."

tessiee May 25, 2011 at 3:28 pm

Only because they think it's a jello rasslin' match.

dr_giraud May 25, 2011 at 3:22 pm

Billy Carter did a stint as a registered agent for Libya. Bristol needs to dream bigger.

mourningnmerica May 25, 2011 at 3:29 pm

Wook, first Bismarck reference I can recall. I love it.

flamingpdog May 26, 2011 at 1:39 am

Gives me a sinking feeling.

comrad_darkness May 26, 2011 at 1:08 am

Please don't give them ideas.

baconzgood May 25, 2011 at 1:47 pm

And Sarah is going to mindlessly yammer about the "lamestream media" in 5…4…3..2..

SorosBot May 25, 2011 at 2:01 pm

It'll be especially juicy as the "lamestream media" is Tucker Carlson; the circular firing squads are always fun to watch. It won't be long until the Palins have alienated every other right-wing politicians and media figure; they've gone through enough of them already.

emmelemm May 25, 2011 at 2:13 pm

Your new adorable avatar has convinced me to follow you.

baconzgood May 25, 2011 at 2:20 pm

Thank you. I was getting tired of disco afros.

ghblowhard May 25, 2011 at 1:48 pm

I'm liking Wonkette Jr. more and more–of course not in the Biblical sense.

WhatTheHeck May 25, 2011 at 1:53 pm

I think “The Biblical sense” is what brought you to Wonkette.
Admit it.

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 25, 2011 at 2:33 pm

They come to Wonkette in the Biblical sense, they stay in the buttsex sense.

Worthly[♬♪♬♪♫♪♬]Skum May 25, 2011 at 1:48 pm

I think all the Palins are competing to be the embarrassment to the family.

DerrickWildcat May 25, 2011 at 1:48 pm

Lou Sarah is confused by this post.

WunkRocker May 25, 2011 at 1:49 pm

The Palins unlike all the other examples are a family made up of only the Roger Clintons, Bill Carters, W's, there's not one JFK, or fuck, one Gerald Ford.

Eve8Apples May 25, 2011 at 3:15 pm

It's hard to believe, but the modern GOP actually makes Gerald Ford look competent.

Nothingisamiss May 25, 2011 at 5:17 pm

Ya know, Gerald Ford was a decent guy. Not as shrewd as Nixon, far less evil than any R who came after. And Betty was/is wonderful.

EatsBabyDingos May 25, 2011 at 1:50 pm

"Basic-cable brand?" This crew is so snowbilly retro it ought to be "Basic Dixie cup-kite string brand."

Makes Ross Perot's "crazy aunt in the basement" seem like the normal relative.

Jim Newell May 25, 2011 at 1:50 pm

I invented most important things.

Chet Kincaid May 25, 2011 at 1:54 pm

An inconvenient truth.

Bonzos_Bed_Time May 25, 2011 at 2:06 pm

You and L. Ron Hubbard.

user-of-owls May 25, 2011 at 2:13 pm

You and Buckminster Fuller.

Bonzos_Bed_Time May 25, 2011 at 2:32 pm

I know a guy who is obsessed on those stupid domes. Apparently it is contagious.

SorosBot May 25, 2011 at 2:47 pm

And Nicola Tesla.

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 25, 2011 at 3:20 pm

You and Stephen Colbert

user-of-owls May 25, 2011 at 6:01 pm

You and Mme. Curie*

*Glow in the dark version only.

ifthethunderdontgetya May 25, 2011 at 2:08 pm

Jim isn't going to give us the secret to cold fusion until we upfist him to 110.

Come on, people…time is running out on the fossil fuel economy!
~

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 25, 2011 at 2:17 pm

Well, if you want to bring a copyright infringement suit, I'm sure Sorosbot and I would be happy to take your case.

WhatTheHeck May 25, 2011 at 2:20 pm

Oh yeah? Where were you when Wonkette was re-inventing itself last week?

Bonzos_Bed_Time May 25, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Who do you think Wonkette Jr. is? It's all a mind-game, man!

supernoun May 25, 2011 at 4:41 pm

Wonkette JR is the sentient offspring of the Wonkette-bot, obvz

SpurningBeer May 25, 2011 at 3:06 pm

And Al Gore.

HempDogbane May 25, 2011 at 3:06 pm

CAPSLOCK?

DustBowlBlues May 25, 2011 at 3:10 pm

Please tell us that you got Raptured from Gawker back to "our" the wonket.

easynewz May 25, 2011 at 3:15 pm

Hey DBB, it's good to see you made it through the storm(s).

Nothingisamiss May 25, 2011 at 5:21 pm

I'm gonna be the only shameless toe sucker on this thread? JIM…WE LOVE YOU, MAN!

(I seriously miss your Peggith Noonighamshire posts. One day she'll be dead and you'll be sorry you didn't make more fun of her. Seize the day, is what I'm saying.)

Bonzos_Bed_Time May 25, 2011 at 5:58 pm

So, Newell and Neilist (and Eleanor!) both just happen to post on the same day, eh…

A coincidence? I think not!

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 25, 2011 at 6:48 pm

Neilist posted? Where?

Bonzos_Bed_Time May 25, 2011 at 7:02 pm

2nd page here… right below your Patti Davis comment. And Eleanor/Trueliberal replied! Will wonders never cease?

Negropolis May 26, 2011 at 4:20 am

Jim, I knew Ben Franklin. Ben Franklin was a friend of mine. Mr. Newell, you are no Ben Franklin.

Texan_Bulldog May 25, 2011 at 1:52 pm

Rebecca Mansour is stoopid. Who says that kind of shit to an “online-only acquaintance"? Sounds like she thought she was going to get someone to finally like her and think she was the cool chick with all the best gossip. Intertubes fail.

emmelemm May 25, 2011 at 2:02 pm

Too true. And this woman is, in theory, some sort of PR person/paid to manage someone's "image"? In this day and age, if you don't have a better grasp on the perils of "loose emails sinking ships", you are not qualified to be a PR person.

[redacted]hse May 25, 2011 at 2:03 pm

On-line only.
Indeed, have you seen her pic?!

Worthly[♬♪♬♪♫♪♬]Skum May 25, 2011 at 1:53 pm

Pierre Curie, William of Orange, Boutros-Boutros Ghali, …

Am I on the right track?

DerrickWildcat May 25, 2011 at 1:53 pm

Was that picture taken before or after her corrective face surgery.

tessiee May 25, 2011 at 7:14 pm

Whistle's or Rebecca's?

Goonemeritus May 25, 2011 at 1:53 pm

Why do bad thing keep happening to such nice people?

Flat_Earther May 25, 2011 at 1:54 pm

How much will Bristol get for promoting abstinence by fake living on TV with two men and her baby? I guess it’s good that there are two men. One can watch the kid while she is doing the other. She’ll be a great example of motherhood and abstinence. I can’t wait for the episode where grandma visits.

tessiee May 25, 2011 at 3:33 pm

"fake living on TV with two men and her baby"

Two and a Half Men and a Dumpy Skank

Flat_Earther May 25, 2011 at 6:59 pm

Could be like-mother-like-daughter. I wonder how many people Sarah "knew" during her muti-campus college career?

Bristal could serve as a drunk 12:30 booty call if all you had to do was walk down the hall. It would be even better that you could go back to your own room and not have to face here in the daylight.

tessiee May 25, 2011 at 7:15 pm

"Bristal could serve as a drunk 12:30 booty call if all you had to do was walk down the hall."

Assuming that she could get into any college that didn't have the word "Barber" or "Clown" in the title.

BaldarTFlagass May 25, 2011 at 1:54 pm

Doesn’t your family have one?
I thought she was talking about a bastard birthed out of wedlock.

emmelemm May 25, 2011 at 1:59 pm

Or a kid who's really the younger generation's teenage pregnancy kid but gets raised by grandma as a sibling. (Lots of families have those!)

jqheywood May 25, 2011 at 2:27 pm

Yep.

jus_wonderin May 25, 2011 at 3:29 pm

Hey, wait just a dawggone minute. You mean Mom is not supposed to be 114 years old???

DashboardBuddha May 25, 2011 at 1:56 pm

I've said before…I NEVER get tired of watching wingnuts feed on each other. This warms my heart in shameful ways.

emmelemm May 25, 2011 at 2:00 pm

Shame is overrated. Enjoy the gleeful feeling while it lasts.

MildMidwesterner May 25, 2011 at 1:56 pm

This is just another case of the pot calling the sheep black.

bumfug May 25, 2011 at 1:57 pm

What's that surveyor's symbol-looking thing that just appeared on Rebecca Mansour's face?

Chet Kincaid May 25, 2011 at 2:33 pm

Trigmata?

HistoriCat May 25, 2011 at 2:44 pm

Bravo!

bumfug May 25, 2011 at 2:47 pm

Winning!

Nothingisamiss May 25, 2011 at 5:23 pm

Unbelievable win!

SorosBot May 25, 2011 at 2:02 pm

Who are six people who have never been in my kitchen, Alex?

[redacted]hse May 25, 2011 at 2:02 pm

I think some of the Vikings might have been kind of greasy.

horsedreamer_1 May 25, 2011 at 2:32 pm

They did invade, &, for a time, conquer Sicily.

tessiee May 25, 2011 at 3:38 pm

That must have made for some really interesting Thanksgiving dinners.

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 25, 2011 at 3:24 pm

Must have been eating all of that blubber.

AngryGeometer May 25, 2011 at 4:51 pm

"This grifter shit is so easy. I get what you get for a brick just to talk greasy." — Sarah Palin, pace 50 Cent

ShaveTheWhales May 27, 2011 at 3:37 am

Hey, Favre's retired. Maybe.

Sue4466 May 25, 2011 at 2:04 pm

Sounds like someone got caught being honest! Only one down on the sin scale from having book learning.

[redacted]hse May 25, 2011 at 2:05 pm

No need, Pawlenty will cleanse my record.

Cicada May 25, 2011 at 2:05 pm

Alex Pareene is my internet crush too. Hands off, Jr.

freakishlywrong May 25, 2011 at 2:05 pm

"Doesn’t your family have one?”

Yes. In the case of Ron Reagan , a heart and a soul.

Fuck Toad May 25, 2011 at 2:05 pm

"Mansour calls Palin “BigBoss”"

Oh god, that's why Bristol and Willow and Piper look so much like each other! It's a cloning project… Les Palins Terribles!

And that explains the hookworms, too. They're nano-hookworms!

If Tawd shows up with a mustache and a couple Single-Action Army revolvers, that's it, I'm expatriating.

easynewz May 25, 2011 at 2:11 pm

Well I'm gonna contact Hollywood and see if they're interested in my modified screenplay entitled The Girls From Wassil(a). Wonder who they'll get to do a reprise of Gregory Peck's role?

tessiee May 25, 2011 at 3:38 pm

Ah-nold?

easynewz May 26, 2011 at 6:06 pm

"If they don't have the guts, I call them girlie men."

simplyblue7 May 25, 2011 at 2:06 pm

And all this time you've been insulting the Palins…FOR FREE. You've been sitting on a gold mine.

LowProfileinGA May 25, 2011 at 3:07 pm

Aren't we all?

simplyblue7 May 25, 2011 at 3:23 pm

Indeed…we are all qualified to be Palin spokerpersons.

tessiee May 25, 2011 at 3:39 pm

"all this time you've been insulting the Palins…FOR FREE. You've been sitting on a gold mine."

That's a non sequitur.

user-of-owls May 25, 2011 at 2:07 pm

Oh heavens, what a nettlesome affair.

ShaveTheWhales May 27, 2011 at 3:38 am

Pish tosh, all will be well.

Bonzos_Bed_Time May 25, 2011 at 2:07 pm

OK, which one of you is Rebecca Mansour? Speak up, you know it's going to come out one way or another…

Uh-oh, downfisty didn't like that… maybe a little too close to home???

Chet Kincaid May 25, 2011 at 2:09 pm

Have you heard the legend of the Abominable Mansour of the Northwest? More shambling yeti than woman, its sarcastic roar drives dangerous wildlife from your camp, leaving it free to devour your children in their tents, one by one.

Mort_Sinclair May 25, 2011 at 2:09 pm

Mansour, doubtless fueled by an admixture of chemical substances robust enough to bring down a rogue (like how I did that?) elephant combined with shockingly low cognitive ability, has forgotten that she is not in high school any more.

easynewz May 25, 2011 at 2:28 pm

Cat fight!

tessiee May 25, 2011 at 3:40 pm

I'm guessing that the happiest day of her life is when she left high school.

Nothingisamiss May 25, 2011 at 5:25 pm

Beat me to it. This girl did not enjoy high school and a team of psychwenches working around the clock would only scratch the surface of her pathologies.

Camaro Nova May 25, 2011 at 2:09 pm

@slf pmtng grsy dumaz:!brstl need advise pls mittenz hlp

FidoMcCokefiend May 25, 2011 at 2:13 pm

Any twit that retweets what I tweeted on Tuesday is retweeting a falsehood.

ShaveTheWhales May 27, 2011 at 3:40 am

I think you've just provided the shortest known proof of Goedel's Undecidability Theorem.

donner_froh May 25, 2011 at 2:15 pm

Dear Rebecca Mansour,

If you tweet me mean things about the Palin family I will be your friend.

Signed,
T.C.
(your future BFF)

baconzgood May 25, 2011 at 2:17 pm

What does Lou Sarah think about this?

DerrickWildcat May 25, 2011 at 2:17 pm

Yeah Bristol, you're embarrassing Sarah!
Knock it off, you're tarnishing her angelic reputation!

horsedreamer_1 May 25, 2011 at 2:19 pm

Ron Reagan, Jr. — who looks and sounds just like his dad — went to Julliard. Remind me, again, where Sarah Louise Heath went to college.

easynewz May 25, 2011 at 2:27 pm

All of them, Katie.

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 25, 2011 at 2:19 pm

Whenever I hear about Bristol, I think I should become a famous anti-drug spokesman, as that would guarantee I get all the drugs I want for free, right? I mean, it worked for Nancy Reagan.

easynewz May 25, 2011 at 2:26 pm

And Betty Ford.

horsedreamer_1 May 25, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Elvis, also.

jus_wonderin May 25, 2011 at 4:46 pm

Okay, I like that logic. I am anti-lottery winning!

DashboardBuddha May 25, 2011 at 6:20 pm

Just say 'ho

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 25, 2011 at 2:21 pm

Truthfully, does anyone really think someone writes the various Palin tweets? I've been assuming there is a computer somewhere in India that just randomly puts together the daily headlines, blog posts from wingnuts, and L33t Speak and post them to the net.

easynewz May 25, 2011 at 2:25 pm

T

tessiee May 25, 2011 at 3:43 pm

"does anyone really think someone writes the various Palin tweets? I've been assuming there is a computer somewhere in India"

On the basis of my calls to various IT and Help Desk folks, I'm guessing that most people in India are more fluent in English than any of the Palins.

Sassomatic May 25, 2011 at 2:26 pm

Evangelicals are faking orgasms for Mitt Romney?

skoalrebel May 25, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Jerry Garcia?

chascates May 25, 2011 at 2:30 pm

Another tell-all book in the works?

user-of-owls May 25, 2011 at 2:31 pm

Ms. Mansour, I knew Meg Stapleton, Meg Stapleton was a friend of mine. Madam, you're no Meg Stapleton.

northernbassist May 25, 2011 at 3:15 pm

Stapletongue has friend(s)?

AJW@[redacted] May 25, 2011 at 3:21 pm

It would take 3, maybe 4, Meg Stapletons to equal 1 ManSewer.

Negropolis May 26, 2011 at 4:27 am

Damn. I just used this without seeing your post. How strange.

DaRooster May 25, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Ouch.

horsedreamer_1 May 25, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Julius Caesar?

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 25, 2011 at 2:35 pm

Tucker Carlson?

jus_wonderin May 25, 2011 at 2:52 pm

Is this the bush douchebag?

BTWBFDIMHO May 25, 2011 at 2:53 pm

Jr. please stop playing with The Photoshopping.

SorosBot May 25, 2011 at 2:56 pm

Semi-OT: it appears Palin will be beginning her possible campaign with a propaganda film, debuting in Iowa:
http://www.avclub.com/articles/sarah-palin-made-a

One which looks to mostly be angry lashing out at everyone who's pissed Sarah off.

AJW@[redacted] May 25, 2011 at 2:57 pm

I'm not gonna read every comment to check, but any post with RAM's name mentioned in it must also contain a link to photographic evidence of her very existence. Also, gle2n beck should be made to comment on her visage, also.

SenileAgitation May 25, 2011 at 3:08 pm

Dude looks like a lady.

anniegetyerfun May 25, 2011 at 2:58 pm

That was awesome.

ThundercatHo May 25, 2011 at 3:03 pm

Bill Clinton?

SpurningBeer May 25, 2011 at 3:05 pm

Grover Washington, Edie Adams, Pat Buchanan, Cynthia Nixon, Dixie Carter, Mookie Wilson, Jennifer Coolidge, Amy Grant, Harrison Ford….

horsedreamer_1 May 25, 2011 at 3:11 pm

George Clinton, William Kennedy, Sean Hayes, James Harrison, Jermaine Jackson…

bikerlaureate May 25, 2011 at 3:06 pm

Chester Tate?

ThundercatHo May 25, 2011 at 3:07 pm

Headline prediction: "Former Palin aide dies in tragic snow machine accident"

horsedreamer_1 May 25, 2011 at 3:15 pm

Do you know how many plane crashes there are in Alaska?

More deniability with one of those taking out Becca. Plus, if her size is as reported, it could be chalked up to an Aaliyah like cause. (Overstuffed plane.)

comrad_darkness May 26, 2011 at 1:02 am

. . . while wearing pyjamas and fuzzy bunny slippers.

ShaveTheWhales May 27, 2011 at 3:41 am

In Arizona.

DustBowlBlues May 25, 2011 at 3:08 pm

Hey! Cute little Wonkette Junior has been typing his little head off. He's already up to 69 posts! If he stops there, we'll know that Junior is an adolescent boy.

mumbly_joe May 25, 2011 at 3:11 pm

Oh, please. This is wonkete; we're all adolescents at heart, here.

jus_wonderin May 25, 2011 at 4:50 pm

Now you tell me. I thought we were adolescents that fart.

DustBowlBlues May 25, 2011 at 3:12 pm

I like Ron Reagan. So sue me. Just don't reload and use your 2nd. Amendment rights over the deal.

Eve8Apples May 25, 2011 at 3:14 pm

Rebecca – Next time, take a couple swings at Trig.

tessiee May 25, 2011 at 3:30 pm

*tents fingertips together*
Ex-x-x-cellent.
*evil laughter*

comrad_darkness May 26, 2011 at 1:07 am

You mean like this?
http://articles.latimes.com/2011/mar/17/nation/la

I give Wonk Jr. credit for restraint in not simply adding bling to this pic and using it for the article.

DustBowlBlues May 25, 2011 at 3:15 pm

Has anyone heard from okiedokiedog? I think they felt the delayed Rapture! 2011! over in his neck of the woods more than we did here. In actual woods, come to think of it.

berkeleyfarm May 26, 2011 at 12:10 am

Glad to see you back and hope he's back soon as well.

DaRooster May 25, 2011 at 3:15 pm

OT- So… it seems our li'l downfister has a new picture… hmm…
Remember… he's on the RIGHT… I'm on the left… He's not too bright… I'm "sometimes" deft.

jus_wonderin May 25, 2011 at 3:23 pm

This reminds me of that classic episode of Bewitched in which a loose tread from an oversized sweater dress gets caught in a dog's collar who just happens to be chasing a cat.

Hilarity ensues.

(I am not sure who was wearing the dress; Samantha would be to smart not to use her magic to stop time.)

Edit: it was Serena, that little scamp!

AngryGeometer May 25, 2011 at 3:25 pm

Nick Denton?

jus_wonderin May 25, 2011 at 3:26 pm

That was Sarah's first thought. Leave Trig alone…in the woods.

tessiee May 25, 2011 at 3:31 pm

All the ice floes are gone already?

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 25, 2011 at 3:26 pm

Two words: Patti Davis. Okay three more: Ron Reagan Junior. Two more: Billy Carter. Doesn’t your family have one?

A gay and/or drunk? Sure, I mean, the First Dude, but who else?

tessiee May 25, 2011 at 3:26 pm

All of them, Katie.

tessiee May 25, 2011 at 3:36 pm

Now, doggone it, I thought the headline was meant to be taken literally!
Here I was hoping to see Brillo with broken kneecaps and a backwards "M" carved into her face (I know, I know), and I've gone and got my hopes up. Then I read the story, and it turns out that Witchy Poo was just snarking on Whistle online like we do here all the time?

I'm disappointed. Very disappointed.

BTWBFDIMHO May 25, 2011 at 3:37 pm

Here's is a pic of Rebecca Mansour http://palingates.blogspot.com/2011/05/rebecca-ma

KeepFnThatChicken May 25, 2011 at 3:40 pm

If you call a white person "greasy," that's just a tacit insult which hurts like a nerf ball. In fact, you're making up things to be equal for the other races, as we know whites are squeaky clean and honest at all times — unlike other soiled people we won't mention.

Mumbletypeg May 25, 2011 at 4:07 pm

Since edgydrifter's well-received comment so many months ago, I don't believe an improved context for "greasy" anything can be conjured up.

tessiee May 25, 2011 at 3:43 pm

Mr. Burns?

AJW@[redacted] May 25, 2011 at 3:53 pm

Oh for fuck's sake.

AngryGeometer May 25, 2011 at 4:46 pm

CHILDREN OF THALIDOMIDE

Callyson May 25, 2011 at 4:49 pm

Not if they're a Republican: http://economy.ocregister.com/2011/05/17/new-bill

GeneralLerong May 25, 2011 at 4:53 pm

so…being a mouthpiece for a dumbass with a talent for self-promotion is OK, so long as she isn't "greasy."

Dunno – Palin's hair looks skanky and greasy a lot of the time. Probably because she's a maverick and doesn't hold with the blonde and lacquered hair beloved of Republican dope robot wives.

And, Rebecca, you could use a stylish haircut, too.

Guppy06 May 25, 2011 at 5:01 pm

She says “Evangelicals 4 Mitt” is a “fake org.”

So they're Scientologists?

johnnymeatworth May 25, 2011 at 5:26 pm

"Dancing With The Stars?"

Chet Kincaid May 25, 2011 at 5:43 pm

Ken Layne?

(I KEED!)

ThundercatHo May 25, 2011 at 5:54 pm

I meant "staff" in a different way

Bonzos_Bed_Time May 25, 2011 at 7:02 pm

See, you already figured it out!

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 25, 2011 at 8:07 pm

And don't I feel like an idiot.

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 25, 2011 at 7:03 pm

Beer, mumbly, beer.

Beetagger May 25, 2011 at 7:23 pm

Sweet, sweet mental revenge.

owhatever May 25, 2011 at 7:25 pm

Rebecca earns her own personal Surveyor's Mark.

Jukesgrrl May 25, 2011 at 8:10 pm

They still don't understand that … and they started it.

MegPasadena May 25, 2011 at 8:39 pm

I thought she looks like the exact copy of Newman from Seinfeld.

KenLayIsAlive May 25, 2011 at 9:46 pm

"Today, We are all Wonkette Jr."

Or, alternately,

"I'm not Wonkette Jr., I'm YOU."

predilectrix May 25, 2011 at 10:30 pm

I encourage folks to read it for themselves, but here are my favorites:
There Will be Blood Libel.
No Country for Black Men
Two Mewls For Sister Sarah
The Scum Also Rises
Citizen Vain
Razing Arizona
Star Whores
High Plains Grifter
True Grift.
Wet Dreams May Come (The Rich Lowry Story)
the mongolian candidate
To Shill a Mocking Turd
Blithering Heights
Something Wicked This Way Comes!
Das Boob
Sled-dog Millionaire
Fall of the House of Musher
my big fat weak vetting.
The Half-Terminator
Plan Whine From Outer Space
The Non-Reader
To Have and Have More
The McCain Mutiny
Lies Actually

NadePaulKuciGravMcKi May 25, 2011 at 11:48 pm

We know exactly what Tucker Carlson is.

not that Dewey May 25, 2011 at 11:56 pm

I'm Wonkette Jr, and so is my wife.

berkeleyfarm May 26, 2011 at 12:06 am

I know, right?

Negropolis May 26, 2011 at 3:58 am

Danishes can be quite greasy, in fact. Damn, swarthy Danes, every last one of them. No one has lost any.

Negropolis May 26, 2011 at 4:06 am

Would someone tell Becca that she's a parasite of a parasite, already? Does she realize how much she doesn't matter, and how much she sounds like a totally irrelevant Mean Girl high school intern?

Negropolis May 26, 2011 at 4:26 am

Henry VIII?

easynewz May 26, 2011 at 5:48 pm

Or 'Weird Al' Jankovich in drag.

TheTimChannel May 27, 2011 at 11:16 am

I do it all the time for free. This might tend to undercut the paid market for sardonic Palin bashers.
Enjoy.

user-of-owls May 25, 2011 at 2:18 pm

Icksnay on teh ecretsay odecay.

Kocay?

OneDollarJuana May 25, 2011 at 3:05 pm

At least there was Billy Beer, and it was kinda drinkable if you got it really cold.

OneTrueLiberal May 25, 2011 at 3:29 pm

Well, THAT explains a great deal.

Regards,

Eleanor

jus_wonderin May 25, 2011 at 3:32 pm

"And you're soaking in it."

HuddledMass May 25, 2011 at 4:49 pm

Neilist? Really?

Ken, please note: Retro-day at Wonkette has produced side-effects.

Nothingisamiss May 25, 2011 at 5:30 pm

And you're not a witch.

WhatTheHeck May 25, 2011 at 5:52 pm

So we'll put down your absence to being “A lost weekend” and leave it to that.

If you are Wonkette Jr., why is there no mention of armaments in your postings?

DashboardBuddha May 25, 2011 at 6:11 pm

No! I am Sparti…errr Wonkette Jr.

not that Dewey May 26, 2011 at 12:01 am

…:::ASSHOLE:::…

Negropolis May 26, 2011 at 4:30 am

Yeah, and I'm the 9th avatar of Ganesh.

STFU & GTFO.

SorosBot May 25, 2011 at 3:43 pm

You enjoy conversations with yourself?

And welcome back; OK not really, nobody missed you.

DashboardBuddha May 25, 2011 at 6:10 pm

it would be kinda cool to have a glow in the dark woman.

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 25, 2011 at 6:47 pm

They probably have some in Japan.

easynewz May 26, 2011 at 5:33 pm

Can you settle for glow-in-the-dark condoms?

user-of-owls May 25, 2011 at 6:52 pm

Yeah, but they're robots. With tentacles.

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