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Sarah Palin Spokesperson Savagely Attacks Bristol Palin

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Finally, a post about Bristol Palin and Tucker Carlson, so we can use this weird old picture.Reality-television curiosity Sarah Palin has a crazy spokesperson who can’t seem to shut up on Twitter. That’s fine when you’re attacking the liberal elite, but it’s not so fine when the person paid to promote the Palin basic-cable brand is instead verbally attacking one of the actual Palins who makes basic-cable programs. This is what Sarah’s spokesperson Rebecca Mansour has been caught doing: criticizing and insulting abstinence icon Bristol Palin. This is what Mansour wrote about poor Bristol, just because Bristol committed the apparent sin of wanting to get back together with the father of her baby: “Two words: Patti Davis. Okay three more: Ron Reagan Junior. Two more: Billy Carter. Doesn’t your family have one?” By “one” here, Mansour means “embarrassment to a political family.” And she gets paid for this? We would like to apply for the job of insulting the Palin family while being paid by the Palin family. Sarah, call us!

Our Internet crush Alex Pareene explains the other sins Mansour committed, on Twitter:

Tucker Carlson’s Internet Tendency has published a series of private Twitter messages sent by Rebecca Mansour, Sarah Palin’s closest advisor, to an unknown “online-only acquaintance.” The direct messages forwarded to the Daily Caller were sent in the summer of 2010, and they contain a number of unflattering descriptions of various figures in the Republican party and the conservative press ….

Mansour calls Palin “BigBoss” and Mitt Romney “Mittens.” She says “Evangelicals 4 Mitt” is a “fake org.” She calls blogger and CNN personality Erick Erickson “a total douchebag” and a “greasy dumb ass with a talent for self-promotion.”

Is “greasy” a thing people still say? Is Erick Erickson of an ethnicity that’s usually the target of such slurs? Danish or something? Also, didn’t Wonkette ex-editor Jim Newell invent the nickname “Mittens” for Romney? We have never seen “Mittens” anywhere else, mostly because we’ve only ever read about Mitt Romney in Jim Newell posts. [Salon]

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Comments

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  • Captain_Quark

    Bristol Palin is the Billy Carter of our times. America has come a long way in 35 years. Once upon a time, we were satisfied with white trash that sat around getting drunk and launching a novelty beer label. Now we demand that our white trash be an unwed teen mom who skanks it up in a phony dance competition, has cosmetic surgery, and launches her own reality show. This is what "Winning the Future" looks like. USA! USA!! USA!!!

    • Lascauxcaveman

      And it's funny a colorful guy like Bill Clinton gets off the hook here, not having any prominently embarrassing people in his family. Well, except for Bill Clinton.

      • An_Outhouse

        Clinton's smack addicted brother Roger doesn't count?

        • horsedreamer_1

          I thought Rog preferred everyone's favourite strip-club anthem, "Cocaine".

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Roger? No, not really. Sure, he was gross and pathetic, but not enough of famewhore to get much media attention, as I recall. His story was spun almost immediately into that lame old Dem touchy-feely "oh here's a poor lost soul who needs help" before he really had much of a chance to entertain us. It's too bad; he had potential.

    • Weenus299

      BCILF, most definitely.

    • genxr

      So instead of Billy Beer we get Bristol Meth?

      My how this once great nation has fallen.

    • supernoun

      This is what Jerry Springer has done to us… Thank god!

  • PuckStopsHere

    I'm sure she was taken out of context by the lame-stream media and/or was responding to a liberal (sorry for the redundancy) reporters gotcha question. It's not like these people to tell the truth, after all.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Not intended to be an actual tweet.

  • fuflans

    to be fair, sarah palin's spokesperson would know a:

    "greasy dumb ass with a talent for self-promotion.”

    • hollywooddood

      I know, right? Who's the "total douchebag" now, Rebecca?

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    We would like to apply for the job of insulting the Palin family while being paid by the Palin family. Sarah, call us!

    Let me know if you need an intern, Wonkette Jr.!
    ~

    • CrankyLttlCamperette

      Apply? The Wonkeratti generate that kind of content for free — though a commission would be nice (and about damn time).

    • http://thethingsrepublicanshate.com/ Chillwaver

      Remember when she twatted bitching about all the "lamestream" media outlets because they ignored Sarah's "speech" in Madison, WI? Sounds like hard work.

  • SorosBot

    Two more words and a letter: George W. Bush

  • Native_of_SL_UT

    “greasy dumb ass with a talent for self-promotion.

    Why did she have to go and say that? Now I have a crush on her.

    • SorosBot

      Then don't look for an image of her; lady's nearly the size of Rush.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        And has a face like a madman's ass.

        • Lionel[redacted]Esq

          The bigger the cushion, the better the pushin'

          • BaldarTFlagass

            "you don't look at the mantlepiece while you're stirring the fire."

          • user-of-owls

            Icksnay on teh ecretsay odecay.

            Kocay?

          • riverside68

            The bigger the waistband, the deeper the quicksand.

      • DaRooster

        The BAND! (and their roadies)

    • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

      That's like having a crush on Ben Franklin.

      • tessiee

        Disagree; Ben Franklin was smart.

    • PsycWench

      Meh, I'm pretty sure she copied that out of his Wikipedia page.

  • mull_man

    Great – I'll be on the lookout for a six-pack of Bristol Beer – "Skanky to the last drop!"

    • chicken_thief

      When the phallic ice thingy shrivels you'll know the beer is cold.

    • DaRooster

      "It'll never let you PULL OUT!"

    • supernoun

      It also nullifies birth control so YOU, TOO can be an unwed abstinent mother!

      • Callyson

        Which will have the effect of making you want to drink more. Good business strategy on the brewer's part…

  • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Erick Erickson has a personality?

    • Callyson

      Erick Erickson has had a personality bypass
      /fixed
      :-)

    • Negropolis

      He does, and it's a terrible one. It's like a potent amalgam of smugness and bitterness.

  • slithytoves

    Sarah who?

  • 4tehlulz_lite

    The last entry is:

    Mrs. Rebecca Palin
    Mrs. Rebecca Palin
    Mrs. Rebecca Palin
    Mrs. Rebecca Palin
    Mrs. Rebecca Palin
    Mrs. Rebecca Palin …

    • AngryGeometer

      …with little "surveyor's marks" dotting the i's.

  • fuflans

    so jim newell IS Rebecca Mansour?

    best. wonkette. prank. ever.

    • horsedreamer_1

      The portrayal of Becca's conversion in some Vanity Fair Palin piece — at this point, the Palins are replacing Marilyn, Di, & the Kennedys for prominent Graydon Carter spank-banking — always did strike me as opportunism. Meaning, if Bristol is the new Roger Clinton, is Rebecca Mansour the new David Brock?

  • An_Outhouse

    Shouldn't this post be titled "Tucker Carlson is Still a Narcissistic Asswipe and Still Publishing Meaningless Horseshit"? 'Mittens' and 'Eric the Greasy Dumbass is a douchebag' are not exactly news.

    • supernoun

      Seriously! I saw Tucker's name and spit coffee all over my bow tie.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Actually, if you just say "Tucker Carlson" the rest if implied.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Well, now, "Tucker Carlson is Still a Narcissistic Asswipe and Still Publishing Meaningless Horseshit" isn't exactly news either, is it?

  • PsycWench

    She forgot Roger Clinton.

    • emmelemm

      Yeah… he's certainly more familiar to me than Billy Carter.

    • hooray4anything

      If only W was seen as he really was– the Billy Carter of the Bush family.

      • tessiee

        That means that he'd have to be a worse scumbag/embarrassment than Jeb or Neil.

    • Flat_Earther

      At least he made music.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Where do you think she gets her Meth?

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    Love it when thieves fall out.

  • SorosBot

    Also, we've got one more clue on Wonkette Jr., as the crush on Alex Pareene indicates that our mysterious new overlord is either a lady or a gay man.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      Wait, Alex Pareene is a DUDE?! I always thought "chick", for some reason.

    • http://wonkette.com/ sweetcommunist

      Or a hetero transwoman, or a genderqueer bisexual, or…

      But, really, does anyone not have an e-crush on Pareene?

      • jqheywood

        His Apple Fanboy rant on Gawker was the best:
        http://gawker.com/373146/apple-fetishists-grow-up

        • Ken Cuccinelli

          Yeah, sorry. I agree with everything he says but PCs, esp. PC laptops, are cost-driven piles of Taiwanese fabricated shit. Microsoft has encouraged this sort of thing because if you have to buy a new laptop every 2 years, it means Windows license revenue for them.

          So you can "overpay" for a MBP or you can "overpay" for a Lenovo Thinkpad. I'll grant you that head to head, the Lenovo is probably a better value for the money- but you cannot deny that Apple laptops are extremely well constructed.

          But these people who rant about Apple and then turn around and don't blink when their six-month-old HP laptop cracks a screen hinge, I can't stand. It's like these people desire shitty technology just because it's not Apple-made.

      • horsedreamer_1

        So, Jiz Lee is branching into politics/commentary?

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      I was thinking the same thing. And then, reading this:

      Mansour calls Palin “BigBoss” and Mitt Romney “Mittens.” She says “Evangelicals 4 Mitt” is a “fake org.” She calls blogger and CNN personality Erick Erickson “a total douchebag” and a “greasy dumb ass with a talent for self-promotion.”

      And I figure that Wonkette Jr. is either Ms. Mansour, or Jim Newell is gay and the chief spokesman for Sarah Palin. Either way, I'm fine with it.

  • OneYieldRegular

    You misunderstand, in typically lamestream fashion. These comments were only surveyor's marks.

  • mumbly_joe

    Huh. So, being with "child out of wedlock"== "the moral role-model of a generation", but "wanting to stay together, for the children"=="profound political embarrassment".

    Are these people sure that they're conservatives?

  • PuckStopsHere

    How'd 'ya get to zero p on this altogether excellent bit of commentating in less than 2 mins??? Down. Fister. About.

  • mumbly_joe

    BREAKING NEWS: Erick Erickson is a douchebag, film at 11.

  • lefty74

    Heed! Pants! Its gargantuan. Like a Sputnik!

    • prommie

      I have no idea what this means, but I love it.

      • Guppy06

        "So I Married an Axe Murderer," probably the last decent film to star Mike Myers.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Sputnutz!!!!!!!1!!!!!

  • Barb

    Mansour calls Palin “BigBoss”
    Good answer, Mansour! we would have also excepted "Moosalini" "stupid cum catcher" and "the gal Todd fucks when his hooker has her monthly cycle'

    • chicken_thief

      "Trig's granny" also works. Too.

    • DashboardBuddha

      "his hooker has her monthly cycle"

      Don't they have more than one hooker in AK, or are they all on the same cycle?

      • Barb

        Wow, I didn't mean to call it "monthly cycle" I should have said "riding her red snow machine" Sorry!

        • DashboardBuddha

          "riding her red snow machine"

          Very good…is this phrase in common usage? If it isn't, it will be now.

    • user-of-owls

      *sigh*

      How could you possibly leave out Lizzie's ultimate descriptor: "dozy cunt."

      • emmelemm

        Isn't that usually applied to dudes, though, for extra impact? (And Britishness?)

  • BaldarTFlagass

    She calls blogger and CNN personality Erick Erickson “a total douchebag” and a “greasy dumb ass with a talent for self-promotion.”

    Even the blind squirrel finds an acorn now and then.

    • elviouslyqueer

      I call partial bullshit on this one, as the "greasy dumb ass with a talent for self-promotion" so totally applies to her "BigBoss."

      • jqheywood

        Yeah, but to be fair, it applies to a LOT of people (& I am using "people" in the loosest possible sense here…)

    • emmelemm

      In this case, it's more like pot, meet kettle.

  • memzilla

    Oh Rebecca… we've told you that oxy, meth, alcohol, and a Roget's Thesaurus don't mix.

  • WhatTheHeck

    No. Goddamnit. Our family does not have “one.” Its just that we don’t talk to certain members of the family. So how could they be “an embarrassment” if we don’t talk to them?
    In the case of Bristol. Just ignore her and she’ll go away.

    • Jukesgrrl

      To Arizona. With her mother on her heels. And I'm sure it's no coincidence the Jon Kyl isn't running for reelection.

  • Radiotherapy

    I hope this doesn't affect Sarah's electability.

  • hagajim

    I read that Bristol doesn't think there is such a thing as dating….maybe there is, if you don't take the cock every time you go out…

    • tessiee

      Either that, or she's just not familiar with the use of the word "dating" as a euphemism for bamp-chicka-bamp.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    The Final Test: How does the Applicant handle a Palin Post?….The wonk is strong in this one!

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Still have to do the Spice Agony test?
      I guess the Palin Post will do.

  • DaSandman

    The swamp sows of Palin, Inc have turned on each other. Lets pull up a seat and enjoy the carnage.

    Ladies and gentlemen, place your bets…

    • tessiee

      I'll make the popcorn.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Oh, Bristol doesn't hold a candle to Billy Carter. We've evolved since the 1970s, and now our politicians (well, Sarah at least) is far more of an embarrassment than any of her other family members or wayward offspring could be. Carter couldn't handle being president, but at least he was smart enough to realize that he was in over his head. Dubya, on the other hand, wrecked the joint and thinks he's some sort of combination of Churchill, Marshall and Bismarck. Hell, Bristol could probably beat her mom in an election if they ran against each other.

    • http://grandpaboy.blogspot.com/ seppdecker

      I think you've just given Red State an erection with "Palin vs. Palin."

      • tessiee

        Only because they think it's a jello rasslin' match.

    • dr_giraud

      Billy Carter did a stint as a registered agent for Libya. Bristol needs to dream bigger.

    • mourningnmerica

      Wook, first Bismarck reference I can recall. I love it.

      • flamingpdog

        Gives me a sinking feeling.

    • comrad_darkness

      Please don't give them ideas.

  • baconzgood

    And Sarah is going to mindlessly yammer about the "lamestream media" in 5…4…3..2..

    • SorosBot

      It'll be especially juicy as the "lamestream media" is Tucker Carlson; the circular firing squads are always fun to watch. It won't be long until the Palins have alienated every other right-wing politicians and media figure; they've gone through enough of them already.

    • emmelemm

      Your new adorable avatar has convinced me to follow you.

      • baconzgood

        Thank you. I was getting tired of disco afros.

  • ghblowhard

    I'm liking Wonkette Jr. more and more–of course not in the Biblical sense.

    • WhatTheHeck

      I think “The Biblical sense” is what brought you to Wonkette.
      Admit it.

      • Lionel[redacted]Esq

        They come to Wonkette in the Biblical sense, they stay in the buttsex sense.

  • Worthly[♬♪♬♪♫♪♬]Skum

    I think all the Palins are competing to be the embarrassment to the family.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    Lou Sarah is confused by this post.

  • WunkRocker

    The Palins unlike all the other examples are a family made up of only the Roger Clintons, Bill Carters, W's, there's not one JFK, or fuck, one Gerald Ford.

    • Eve8Apples

      It's hard to believe, but the modern GOP actually makes Gerald Ford look competent.

      • Nothingisamiss

        Ya know, Gerald Ford was a decent guy. Not as shrewd as Nixon, far less evil than any R who came after. And Betty was/is wonderful.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    "Basic-cable brand?" This crew is so snowbilly retro it ought to be "Basic Dixie cup-kite string brand."

    Makes Ross Perot's "crazy aunt in the basement" seem like the normal relative.

  • http://gawker.com Jim Newell

    I invented most important things.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      An inconvenient truth.

    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      You and L. Ron Hubbard.

      • user-of-owls

        You and Buckminster Fuller.

        • Bonzos_Bed_Time

          I know a guy who is obsessed on those stupid domes. Apparently it is contagious.

        • SorosBot

          And Nicola Tesla.

        • Lionel[redacted]Esq

          You and Stephen Colbert

          • user-of-owls

            You and Mme. Curie*

            *Glow in the dark version only.

          • DashboardBuddha

            it would be kinda cool to have a glow in the dark woman.

          • Lionel[redacted]Esq

            They probably have some in Japan.

          • user-of-owls

            Yeah, but they're robots. With tentacles.

          • easynewz

            Can you settle for glow-in-the-dark condoms?

    • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

      Jim isn't going to give us the secret to cold fusion until we upfist him to 110.

      Come on, people…time is running out on the fossil fuel economy!
      ~

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Well, if you want to bring a copyright infringement suit, I'm sure Sorosbot and I would be happy to take your case.

    • WhatTheHeck

      Oh yeah? Where were you when Wonkette was re-inventing itself last week?

      • Bonzos_Bed_Time

        Who do you think Wonkette Jr. is? It's all a mind-game, man!

        • supernoun

          Wonkette JR is the sentient offspring of the Wonkette-bot, obvz

    • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ SpurningBeer

      And Al Gore.

    • HempDogbane

      CAPSLOCK?

    • DustBowlBlues

      Please tell us that you got Raptured from Gawker back to "our" the wonket.

      • easynewz

        Hey DBB, it's good to see you made it through the storm(s).

    • Nothingisamiss

      I'm gonna be the only shameless toe sucker on this thread? JIM…WE LOVE YOU, MAN!

      (I seriously miss your Peggith Noonighamshire posts. One day she'll be dead and you'll be sorry you didn't make more fun of her. Seize the day, is what I'm saying.)

    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      So, Newell and Neilist (and Eleanor!) both just happen to post on the same day, eh…

      A coincidence? I think not!

      • Lionel[redacted]Esq

        Neilist posted? Where?

        • Bonzos_Bed_Time

          2nd page here… right below your Patti Davis comment. And Eleanor/Trueliberal replied! Will wonders never cease?

    • Negropolis

      Jim, I knew Ben Franklin. Ben Franklin was a friend of mine. Mr. Newell, you are no Ben Franklin.

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Rebecca Mansour is stoopid. Who says that kind of shit to an “online-only acquaintance"? Sounds like she thought she was going to get someone to finally like her and think she was the cool chick with all the best gossip. Intertubes fail.

    • emmelemm

      Too true. And this woman is, in theory, some sort of PR person/paid to manage someone's "image"? In this day and age, if you don't have a better grasp on the perils of "loose emails sinking ships", you are not qualified to be a PR person.

    • [redacted]hse

      On-line only.
      Indeed, have you seen her pic?!

  • Worthly[♬♪♬♪♫♪♬]Skum

    Pierre Curie, William of Orange, Boutros-Boutros Ghali, …

    Am I on the right track?

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    Was that picture taken before or after her corrective face surgery.

    • tessiee

      Whistle's or Rebecca's?

  • Goonemeritus

    Why do bad thing keep happening to such nice people?

  • Flat_Earther

    How much will Bristol get for promoting abstinence by fake living on TV with two men and her baby? I guess it’s good that there are two men. One can watch the kid while she is doing the other. She’ll be a great example of motherhood and abstinence. I can’t wait for the episode where grandma visits.

    • tessiee

      "fake living on TV with two men and her baby"

      Two and a Half Men and a Dumpy Skank

      • Flat_Earther

        Could be like-mother-like-daughter. I wonder how many people Sarah "knew" during her muti-campus college career?

        Bristal could serve as a drunk 12:30 booty call if all you had to do was walk down the hall. It would be even better that you could go back to your own room and not have to face here in the daylight.

        • tessiee

          "Bristal could serve as a drunk 12:30 booty call if all you had to do was walk down the hall."

          Assuming that she could get into any college that didn't have the word "Barber" or "Clown" in the title.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Doesn’t your family have one?
    I thought she was talking about a bastard birthed out of wedlock.

    • emmelemm

      Or a kid who's really the younger generation's teenage pregnancy kid but gets raised by grandma as a sibling. (Lots of families have those!)

      • jqheywood

        Yep.

      • jus_wonderin

        Hey, wait just a dawggone minute. You mean Mom is not supposed to be 114 years old???

  • DashboardBuddha

    I've said before…I NEVER get tired of watching wingnuts feed on each other. This warms my heart in shameful ways.

    • emmelemm

      Shame is overrated. Enjoy the gleeful feeling while it lasts.

  • MildMidwesterner

    This is just another case of the pot calling the sheep black.

  • bumfug

    What's that surveyor's symbol-looking thing that just appeared on Rebecca Mansour's face?

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      Trigmata?

      • HistoriCat

        Bravo!

      • bumfug

        Winning!

      • Nothingisamiss

        Unbelievable win!

  • SorosBot

    Who are six people who have never been in my kitchen, Alex?

  • [redacted]hse

    I think some of the Vikings might have been kind of greasy.

    • horsedreamer_1

      They did invade, &, for a time, conquer Sicily.

      • tessiee

        That must have made for some really interesting Thanksgiving dinners.

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Must have been eating all of that blubber.

    • AngryGeometer

      "This grifter shit is so easy. I get what you get for a brick just to talk greasy." — Sarah Palin, pace 50 Cent

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Hey, Favre's retired. Maybe.

  • Sue4466

    Sounds like someone got caught being honest! Only one down on the sin scale from having book learning.

  • [redacted]hse

    No need, Pawlenty will cleanse my record.

  • Cicada

    Alex Pareene is my internet crush too. Hands off, Jr.

  • freakishlywrong

    "Doesn’t your family have one?”

    Yes. In the case of Ron Reagan , a heart and a soul.

  • Fuck Toad

    "Mansour calls Palin “BigBoss”"

    Oh god, that's why Bristol and Willow and Piper look so much like each other! It's a cloning project… Les Palins Terribles!

    And that explains the hookworms, too. They're nano-hookworms!

    If Tawd shows up with a mustache and a couple Single-Action Army revolvers, that's it, I'm expatriating.

    • easynewz

      Well I'm gonna contact Hollywood and see if they're interested in my modified screenplay entitled The Girls From Wassil(a). Wonder who they'll get to do a reprise of Gregory Peck's role?

      • tessiee

        Ah-nold?

        • easynewz

          "If they don't have the guts, I call them girlie men."

  • http://theblueelite.blogspot.com simplyblue7

    And all this time you've been insulting the Palins…FOR FREE. You've been sitting on a gold mine.

    • LowProfileinGA

      Aren't we all?

      • http://theblueelite.blogspot.com simplyblue7

        Indeed…we are all qualified to be Palin spokerpersons.

    • tessiee

      "all this time you've been insulting the Palins…FOR FREE. You've been sitting on a gold mine."

      That's a non sequitur.

  • user-of-owls

    Oh heavens, what a nettlesome affair.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Pish tosh, all will be well.

  • Bonzos_Bed_Time

    OK, which one of you is Rebecca Mansour? Speak up, you know it's going to come out one way or another…

    Uh-oh, downfisty didn't like that… maybe a little too close to home???

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Have you heard the legend of the Abominable Mansour of the Northwest? More shambling yeti than woman, its sarcastic roar drives dangerous wildlife from your camp, leaving it free to devour your children in their tents, one by one.

  • Mort_Sinclair

    Mansour, doubtless fueled by an admixture of chemical substances robust enough to bring down a rogue (like how I did that?) elephant combined with shockingly low cognitive ability, has forgotten that she is not in high school any more.

    • easynewz

      Cat fight!

    • tessiee

      I'm guessing that the happiest day of her life is when she left high school.

      • Nothingisamiss

        Beat me to it. This girl did not enjoy high school and a team of psychwenches working around the clock would only scratch the surface of her pathologies.

  • http://www.deathwishcreeps.com/about/ Camaro Nova

    @slf pmtng grsy dumaz:!brstl need advise pls mittenz hlp

  • FidoMcCokefiend

    Any twit that retweets what I tweeted on Tuesday is retweeting a falsehood.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      I think you've just provided the shortest known proof of Goedel's Undecidability Theorem.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    Dear Rebecca Mansour,

    If you tweet me mean things about the Palin family I will be your friend.

    Signed,
    T.C.
    (your future BFF)

  • baconzgood

    What does Lou Sarah think about this?

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    Yeah Bristol, you're embarrassing Sarah!
    Knock it off, you're tarnishing her angelic reputation!

  • horsedreamer_1

    Ron Reagan, Jr. — who looks and sounds just like his dad — went to Julliard. Remind me, again, where Sarah Louise Heath went to college.

    • easynewz

      All of them, Katie.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Whenever I hear about Bristol, I think I should become a famous anti-drug spokesman, as that would guarantee I get all the drugs I want for free, right? I mean, it worked for Nancy Reagan.

    • easynewz

      And Betty Ford.

      • horsedreamer_1

        Elvis, also.

    • jus_wonderin

      Okay, I like that logic. I am anti-lottery winning!

    • DashboardBuddha

      Just say 'ho

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Truthfully, does anyone really think someone writes the various Palin tweets? I've been assuming there is a computer somewhere in India that just randomly puts together the daily headlines, blog posts from wingnuts, and L33t Speak and post them to the net.

    • easynewz

      T

    • tessiee

      "does anyone really think someone writes the various Palin tweets? I've been assuming there is a computer somewhere in India"

      On the basis of my calls to various IT and Help Desk folks, I'm guessing that most people in India are more fluent in English than any of the Palins.

  • Sassomatic

    Evangelicals are faking orgasms for Mitt Romney?

  • skoalrebel

    Jerry Garcia?

  • chascates

    Another tell-all book in the works?

  • user-of-owls

    Ms. Mansour, I knew Meg Stapleton, Meg Stapleton was a friend of mine. Madam, you're no Meg Stapleton.

    • northernbassist

      Stapletongue has friend(s)?

    • AJW@[redacted]

      It would take 3, maybe 4, Meg Stapletons to equal 1 ManSewer.

    • Negropolis

      Damn. I just used this without seeing your post. How strange.

  • DaRooster

    Ouch.

  • horsedreamer_1

    Julius Caesar?

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Tucker Carlson?

  • jus_wonderin

    Is this the bush douchebag?

  • BTWBFDIMHO

    Jr. please stop playing with The Photoshopping.

  • SorosBot

    Semi-OT: it appears Palin will be beginning her possible campaign with a propaganda film, debuting in Iowa:
    http://www.avclub.com/articles/sarah-palin-made-a

    One which looks to mostly be angry lashing out at everyone who's pissed Sarah off.

  • AJW@[redacted]

    I'm not gonna read every comment to check, but any post with RAM's name mentioned in it must also contain a link to photographic evidence of her very existence. Also, gle2n beck should be made to comment on her visage, also.

    • SenileAgitation

      Dude looks like a lady.

  • anniegetyerfun

    That was awesome.

  • ThundercatHo

    Bill Clinton?

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ SpurningBeer

    Grover Washington, Edie Adams, Pat Buchanan, Cynthia Nixon, Dixie Carter, Mookie Wilson, Jennifer Coolidge, Amy Grant, Harrison Ford….

    • horsedreamer_1

      George Clinton, William Kennedy, Sean Hayes, James Harrison, Jermaine Jackson…

  • bikerlaureate

    Chester Tate?

  • ThundercatHo

    Headline prediction: "Former Palin aide dies in tragic snow machine accident"

    • horsedreamer_1

      Do you know how many plane crashes there are in Alaska?

      More deniability with one of those taking out Becca. Plus, if her size is as reported, it could be chalked up to an Aaliyah like cause. (Overstuffed plane.)

    • comrad_darkness

      . . . while wearing pyjamas and fuzzy bunny slippers.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      In Arizona.

  • DustBowlBlues

    Hey! Cute little Wonkette Junior has been typing his little head off. He's already up to 69 posts! If he stops there, we'll know that Junior is an adolescent boy.

    • mumbly_joe

      Oh, please. This is wonkete; we're all adolescents at heart, here.

      • jus_wonderin

        Now you tell me. I thought we were adolescents that fart.

  • DustBowlBlues

    I like Ron Reagan. So sue me. Just don't reload and use your 2nd. Amendment rights over the deal.

  • Eve8Apples

    Rebecca – Next time, take a couple swings at Trig.

    • tessiee

      *tents fingertips together*
      Ex-x-x-cellent.
      *evil laughter*

  • DustBowlBlues

    Has anyone heard from okiedokiedog? I think they felt the delayed Rapture! 2011! over in his neck of the woods more than we did here. In actual woods, come to think of it.

    • berkeleyfarm

      Glad to see you back and hope he's back soon as well.

  • DaRooster

    OT- So… it seems our li'l downfister has a new picture… hmm…
    Remember… he's on the RIGHT… I'm on the left… He's not too bright… I'm "sometimes" deft.

  • jus_wonderin

    This reminds me of that classic episode of Bewitched in which a loose tread from an oversized sweater dress gets caught in a dog's collar who just happens to be chasing a cat.

    Hilarity ensues.

    (I am not sure who was wearing the dress; Samantha would be to smart not to use her magic to stop time.)

    Edit: it was Serena, that little scamp!

  • AngryGeometer

    Nick Denton?

  • jus_wonderin

    That was Sarah's first thought. Leave Trig alone…in the woods.

    • tessiee

      All the ice floes are gone already?

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Two words: Patti Davis. Okay three more: Ron Reagan Junior. Two more: Billy Carter. Doesn’t your family have one?

    A gay and/or drunk? Sure, I mean, the First Dude, but who else?

  • tessiee

    All of them, Katie.

  • tessiee

    Now, doggone it, I thought the headline was meant to be taken literally!
    Here I was hoping to see Brillo with broken kneecaps and a backwards "M" carved into her face (I know, I know), and I've gone and got my hopes up. Then I read the story, and it turns out that Witchy Poo was just snarking on Whistle online like we do here all the time?

    I'm disappointed. Very disappointed.

  • BTWBFDIMHO

    Here's is a pic of Rebecca Mansour http://palingates.blogspot.com/2011/05/rebecca-ma

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    If you call a white person "greasy," that's just a tacit insult which hurts like a nerf ball. In fact, you're making up things to be equal for the other races, as we know whites are squeaky clean and honest at all times — unlike other soiled people we won't mention.

    • Mumbletypeg

      Since edgydrifter's well-received comment so many months ago, I don't believe an improved context for "greasy" anything can be conjured up.

  • tessiee

    Mr. Burns?

  • AJW@[redacted]

    Oh for fuck's sake.

  • AngryGeometer

    CHILDREN OF THALIDOMIDE

  • Callyson

    Not if they're a Republican: http://economy.ocregister.com/2011/05/17/new-bill

  • GeneralLerong

    so…being a mouthpiece for a dumbass with a talent for self-promotion is OK, so long as she isn't "greasy."

    Dunno – Palin's hair looks skanky and greasy a lot of the time. Probably because she's a maverick and doesn't hold with the blonde and lacquered hair beloved of Republican dope robot wives.

    And, Rebecca, you could use a stylish haircut, too.

  • Guppy06

    She says “Evangelicals 4 Mitt” is a “fake org.”

    So they're Scientologists?

  • johnnymeatworth

    "Dancing With The Stars?"

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Ken Layne?

    (I KEED!)

  • ThundercatHo

    I meant "staff" in a different way

  • Bonzos_Bed_Time

    See, you already figured it out!

    • Lionel[redacted]Esq

      And don't I feel like an idiot.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Beer, mumbly, beer.

  • Beetagger

    Sweet, sweet mental revenge.

  • owhatever

    Rebecca earns her own personal Surveyor's Mark.

  • Jukesgrrl

    They still don't understand that … and they started it.

  • MegPasadena

    I thought she looks like the exact copy of Newman from Seinfeld.

  • http://www.kenlayisalive.org KenLayIsAlive

    "Today, We are all Wonkette Jr."

    Or, alternately,

    "I'm not Wonkette Jr., I'm YOU."

  • predilectrix

    I encourage folks to read it for themselves, but here are my favorites:
    There Will be Blood Libel.
    No Country for Black Men
    Two Mewls For Sister Sarah
    The Scum Also Rises
    Citizen Vain
    Razing Arizona
    Star Whores
    High Plains Grifter
    True Grift.
    Wet Dreams May Come (The Rich Lowry Story)
    the mongolian candidate
    To Shill a Mocking Turd
    Blithering Heights
    Something Wicked This Way Comes!
    Das Boob
    Sled-dog Millionaire
    Fall of the House of Musher
    my big fat weak vetting.
    The Half-Terminator
    Plan Whine From Outer Space
    The Non-Reader
    To Have and Have More
    The McCain Mutiny
    Lies Actually

  • NadePaulKuciGravMcKi

    We know exactly what Tucker Carlson is.

  • not that Dewey

    I'm Wonkette Jr, and so is my wife.

  • berkeleyfarm

    I know, right?

  • Negropolis

    Danishes can be quite greasy, in fact. Damn, swarthy Danes, every last one of them. No one has lost any.

  • Negropolis

    Would someone tell Becca that she's a parasite of a parasite, already? Does she realize how much she doesn't matter, and how much she sounds like a totally irrelevant Mean Girl high school intern?

  • Negropolis

    Henry VIII?

  • easynewz

    Or 'Weird Al' Jankovich in drag.

  • http://thetimchannel.wordpress.com TheTimChannel

    I do it all the time for free. This might tend to undercut the paid market for sardonic Palin bashers.
    Enjoy.

  • OneDollarJuana

    At least there was Billy Beer, and it was kinda drinkable if you got it really cold.

  • OneTrueLiberal

    Well, THAT explains a great deal.

    Regards,

    Eleanor

  • jus_wonderin

    "And you're soaking in it."

  • HuddledMass

    Neilist? Really?

    Ken, please note: Retro-day at Wonkette has produced side-effects.

  • Nothingisamiss

    And you're not a witch.

  • WhatTheHeck

    So we'll put down your absence to being “A lost weekend” and leave it to that.

    If you are Wonkette Jr., why is there no mention of armaments in your postings?

  • DashboardBuddha

    No! I am Sparti…errr Wonkette Jr.

  • not that Dewey

    …:::ASSHOLE:::…

  • Negropolis

    Yeah, and I'm the 9th avatar of Ganesh.

    STFU & GTFO.

  • SorosBot

    You enjoy conversations with yourself?

    And welcome back; OK not really, nobody missed you.