Great news for the Democrats: They are once again winning congressional seats in weird rural areas full of old men in overalls plucking banjos from the comfort of sofas placed on sagging wooden porches. Even better news for the Women’s Movement: The Democrat who just won a rural upstate New York State congressional seat is a nice lady who isn’t mostly known for selling her invalid mother’s pain pills in a church’s gravel parking lot. So let’s all congratulate Kathy Hochul, who replaces Rep. Chris Lee, the man who spawned a million online jokes by flexing his abs into a bathroom mirror and then sending a pic of this middle-aged flesh display to a lady on Craigslist who then re-gifted it to the Internet.
Congresslady Kathy defeated many typical rural American candidates, including one from the Tea Party and another from the Junior Tea Party (the Republican Party).
Speaking from his new throne in England, King Obama heralded the news: “Kathy and I both believe that we need to create jobs, grow our economy, and reduce the deficit in order to outcompete other nations and win the future.” Then he made some other Charlie Sheen jokes and returned to High Tea. [Reuters]
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Wonkette Jr. showing us the photoshop skillz….NIIIIIICE!
Are you sure that wasn't done in MS Paint?
One can only hope!
That photoshop job was so , er, seamless, I was convinced.
Junior, you can have a job at the National Enquirer any day.
(STFU – Ken just got this one! Let Jr stick around for awhile!)
I'm sure Jr. knows we love tacky-ass photoshop almost as much as blingees.
The real question is: are today's Wonkette Jr and yesterday's Wonkette Jr the same person? Inquiring minds want to know!
Perhaps we can grow the future and win jobs? Or grow our waistlines and win diabetes?
…and I first read "Kathy defeated many typical rural American diabetics."
Great minds Boojum?
And America should also create pharmaceuticals that will allow us maintain sustainable erections while reducing our reliance on foreign downfisting.
No one who says "win the future" will win the future.
We must move forward, not backward; upward, not forward; and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!
Don't blame me; I voted for Kodos.
"Canada begins at Yonkers." — Metternich
"Upstate ends at Schencectady"–L. Axehandle, Livingston County
I hope Kathy Hochul fulfills her campaign promise to RELEASE THE COCK SHOT!
I think Paul Ryan just got a COCK SHOT.
He's walking around in a daze with "Something about Mary" hair trying to minimize the damage on the talk show circuit…
Tits or GTFO.
Hey, slow down there! Don't try to run before you can walk…
All the Lamestream Media were making a big deal out of how NY26 was gerrymandered to be a Republican pocket borough in blue New York. And in truth the obvious way its boundaries avoid the populous, Democrat-infested shores of Lake Erie is rather humorous. Little do MSM apparently know, though, that every congressional district boundary is drawn this way, in the process augustly known as "Reapportionment." They really oughta call it, "I got mine!"
Some rethugs should be using this as a metric of how much the public hates the Ryan Plan; if they can't even sell it to Republicans. . . .
Boy, it's a lady. Removal of a swinging dick pol to a lady pol is stunning transformation in the 26th NY District.
The lady part was guaranteed. The GOP found a female, self hating, successful inheritor of great wealth who was supposed to accept the House seat as a consolation gift after losing in a three way to a horse at a 'Horse Cock' Carl Paladino party.
The Sunday shows are tripping over themselves to line a panel of wingtards to discuss how this had nothing to do with over-reaching assholes dismantling our safety nets.
David Brooks was on Meet the Press last week, or This Week should get him, now.
Oh, why, oh, why, did the lamestream media not stay together for the kids?
Aw, I like David Brooks. Am I alone in this? I mean, as far as Republicans go, I like to thinks that he has a bit more of a grip on reality.
Yes. You are alone.
Alone and sad.
His columns too often get all allegorical and shit, but yeah, I think he's alright. You know, I like to read thoughtful people who aren't necessarily Democrats, and while he's long been tagged a RINO by mainstream GOP frothers, I'd like to think there are Republicans left like him who are a bit sane. I mean, who else is there? Too few. Frum makes sense sometimes (and, of course, he was thrown out of the party, too, for not being racist enough, or something).
Also, Brooks endorsed same-sex marriage *years* ago, during W's administration.
I guess most of my exposure to him is when he and EJ Dionne do their little Friday summary on All Things Considered on Fridays. They seem like they enjoy each other's company, and whenever Brooks is out sick and they have to sub in some other Republican, it's always some unreasonable schmuck who obviously receives and happily recites the Republican talking points that get sent out every morning.
Brooks thinks for himself, and is happy to point out when a fellow conservative is an idiot. He recently said that he wouldn't rrust Newt Gingrich to run a 7-11, much less a country, and I think I might have acutally orgasmed, just hearing someone on the Dark Side express an opinion that I could comprehend.
I like reading him too. I used to use the RINO tag as a guide to what conservatives I might find interesting, but when David Frum was slapped with the RINO tag I knew it was no longer useful.
David fucking Frum.
I always imagine Brooks & Frum (new country duo) hanging out and wondering why all of the GOP hates them so much.
Yes, you are.. Still, for a Republican, he is not a hater. That is something.
Mr. Fatale likes him, but I don't trust his "Aw shucks, I'm a reasonable guy" act.
Maybe I'm too cynical after all these years, (and campaigns), but I don't like a guy who smiles and shrugs his shoulders as he's sticking in the knife.
To me, he represents the "Can't We Just Agree to Disagree" wing of a party made up of subversive, hateful assholes.
He had one funny idea — that liberals like to pretend to be poor ("bourgeois Bohemians") and parleyed it into an entire career, simultaneously elevating himself from good-natured humorist to op-ed deep thinker, if you believe the NYT op-ed page exhibits thoughts worthy of the adjective "deep." So yes, you are alone. Careerism isn't very likable.
Every time NPR has Brooks on I take another year off contributing.
I've gotten way too good at pretending to be poor. Hasn't helped my career any, unfortunately.
"He had one funny idea — that liberals like to pretend to be poor ("bourgeois Bohemians") and parleyed it into an entire career"
I like to pretend to be a sexy cat or a sexy witch, but only on Hallowe'en…
OK, mostly on Hallowe'en.
I'll kindly disagree with you and spare a downfist. xx
nope you're not. if for no other reason than he represents a lost political discourse. i do not believe this country is as far right as the republican party. i for one would like a viable opposition.
i have a BFF who went to school with him and routinely gripes that brooks is not at all the intellectual he claims to be and doesn't deserve his prominence (though this may be a classic case of U of C sour grapes).
He gives good head.
I thought it was some GOP senator who had a grip on him??
It's a trap!
One of my favorite quotes from Matt Taibbi:
It strikes me that David Brooks actually enjoys his chosen profession. In fact, he strikes me as the kind of person who even in his spare time would pay a Leona Helmsley lookalike a thousand dollars to take a shit on his back.
http://trueslant.com/matttaibbi/2010/04/10/brooks...
P.S. Also see a thousand posts on Brooks by driftglass.
Paying a Leona Helmsley lookalike to shit on your back – is that called a Motel Six or a Vista del Cleveland Brass Band?
He has said that from what he has learned about how the neurobiology of early childhood shapes adult behavior, that he has doubts about the principles of unfettered free market capitalism. Quite a long though for a republican.
"Aw, I like David Brooks. Am I alone in this?'
Pretty much.
I don't know if you're alone, but I know I'm not with you on this.
Brooks is a grand example of the Republican intellectual. He'll go through a long discussion of issues, even exposing weaknesses in the Republican theory, and then finish up by pointing out that the fucking liberals are even worse and the only reasonable compromise is the Republican position.
He's well-read, but has the intellectual sharpness of a brick.
I'm holding out for thinly veiled comments supporting Craigslist stalker/rapists as the only real Murkins we got left.
And, without irony or shame or awareness of a thing called "video," they will be the same panel of wingtards who said Scott Brown's election had everything to do with Obama and healthcare reform.
The Daily Show doesn't even need to come back from vacation to show us this montage.
One thing you can always count on:
When Democrats lose one of these races, the TV panel shows will bring on a bluedog Democrat and a conservative Republican to discuss what the Democratic party needs to do to moderate its policies and win back swing voters.
When Republicans lose one of these races, the TV panel shows will bring on a moderate Republican and a conservative Republican to debate whether the loss was more a result of the Democratic opponent's lies or the liberal media's biased coverage of the race.
Jesus Christ I'm depressed.
See also "People, will of" vs. "Throat, forcing down".
"what the Democratic party needs to do to moderate its policies and win back swing voters."
Translation: Bend over even further and be even more codependent.
"…tripping over themselves…"
I mean, really, how hard can that be to do? Oh wait! You said the Sunday shows, where intelligent debate goes to die. Nevermind.
A picture of her topless in the bathroom mirror would do a lot to grow my "economy".
Wash what you wish for.
The Democrat who just won a rural upstate New York State congressional seat
Is Buffalo now considered rural? The 2010 census was just as evil as Michele Bachmann said, I guess.
The 26th is carefully drawn along party lines; it's intended to be the Staten Island of Buffalo.
It includes neither Buffalo nor Racheshtah.
Mmmm, the sour grapes, they are delicious. Wait, what?
Pete miss-speeled "teabagger".
The schaden freudes itself, as I like to say.
P.S. For the record: The Republicans spent more on the race than the Democrats.
~
He's sort of right in that the Tea Party guy has run as a Democrat before. He also ran as a Republican before. As with most Tea Party people, he's obviously a nut.
So basically, they're complaining about not getting their fair share of the nut demographic? My heart bleeds.
Siphoned off the old disabled diabetic racist vote.
Funny that Sessions seemed to forget that whole "running as a Republican before as well, also" part.
http://www.theonion.com/articles/fiscally-im-a-ri...
Well worth the clicky click.
Mmmm. Oniony.
So, basically the Libertarian position.
But I thought the Teabaggers were not all Republicans. Now they're complaining because one of them isn't a Republican?
You caught them in a lie. So?
Why on earth would you shave your vag but not your boobs?
Worst landing strip evah!
I'm still trying to figure out the women who shave their legs, but not their pits.
I'm not entirely certain, but I think in Italy those would be hookers.
What the lamestream media is NOT talking about is the massive wave of voter fraud that occurred here. All through Amherst, Williamsville and as far to the east as Greece, trainloads of illegal migrant workers and busloads of convicted felons from Attica State Prison were spied forcing their way into elementary schools and town halls. There, our tea party patriots were held hostage while thousands of illegal democrap votes were cast. Where's the outrage? Where's the Genesee Cream Ale?
ACORN!!!1!!!1
Genesee Screamers! Almost beerlike….
Acorn was only forced underground; there can be only one final solution to this voter fraud problem . . .
*ponders*
An oak tree?
"More tea! More tea!"
(That's really obscure, I know, but Gennie drinkers might get it.)
The code word for their meet-ups was "ACORN"!!!!!!1!1!!11!
Were those two scary looking, baton wielding Black Panthers brought up from Phillie to guard the doors?
Future Reference -It is Philly. And in Philly, we are all scary Black Panthers- even when we are old short grey haired women.
Brother you got that sweet Beef on Weck stank about you. Don’t tell me you hail from here?
I hope we are all saving up the monies for the voter photo ids necessary for the recall votes in July for poor Wisconsin.
Gawd. I gotta hope Fux Noose is not monitoring this site. Why do give away our secrets like this comrade?
Where is the fucking Jennie?
A Democrat won in a district rigged to elect Republicans, ergo obvious voter fraud. Just wait, it's coming.
Retards win = "Mandate"
Dems win = "Voter Fraud and ____________thugs", (fill in the blank)
The NY GOP just got Kloppenburg'd.
Expect Hochul next to get Nickolaus'd. (With an assist from John Fund.)
voter fraud = "how dare dem uppity, elitist democratic voters tamper with our fraud scheme!"
small, hairy boobs.
But man, are they firm!
I hope she makes chair when the Dems regain a majority, then Congress would make history: its first Add Hochul Committee.
Ew. Too far a reach. But thanks for playing!
"weird rural areas full of old men in overalls"
Saw footage once of a reporter asking a weird rural guy in overalls what he thought about Sarah Palin and gay marriage. . .through his mouthful of chew, he said, "Who gives a shit?"
And that, is heartland America.
Increase the starburst ray and return fire!
Well, to be fair it's just upstate NY.
"Saw footage once of a reporter asking a weird rural guy in overalls what he thought about Sarah Palin and gay marriage. . .through his mouthful of chew, he said, "Who gives a shit?"
And that, is heartland America."
I like that. I like it a LOT.
full of old men in overalls plucking banjos from the comfort of sofas placed on sagging wooden porches.
There's a sort of "are you a hillbilly" test that includes a question related to this:
"How many dogs would die if your [sagging wooden] porch collapsed?"
Do we count the ones that are already under there dead?
Duh, "all of them, Cletus."
What? IT NEEDED SAYIN'.
Naw, you all are both wrong. The dawgs get buried out back yonder, o'er by the okra patch. Under the porch is a right special place so we only use that ta bury the kinfolk.
janecorwin.org still makes me laugh..
Outstanding! The internets humor never ceases to amaze.
Needs to be cached forevers! Obviously a creation of a Wonkette wannabe.
Amazing…
> In response to her heroic support for Paul Ryan’s budget plan, which would end Medicare in favor of an innovative program called “widespread human suffering,” Jane Corwin has been given an award by Pat Boone, spokesman for the 60-Plus association. Boone was a famous singer in the days before it was learned that music could convey human emotions.
Thanks for the link!
"Together we can make delicious soup from the bones of the poor."
Careful, before you give Paul Ryan another idea.
Hmmm… I'm thinking hospital cafeterias.. I'm thinking … synergy!
You got a future in business son. Ever think about plastics?
How have I missed that before? Is Coburn OB/GYN.org taken yet?
The "They Live" visual was quite awesome.
I just busted a lung.
"Jane Corwin: Standing by fire trucks"
Ha!
So, Jr., can you fashion a photoshop illustrating 98% of republican House members (heh) currently shitting their pants/skirts in anticipation of not being re-elected in 2012 because they're on record as voting for that dreamy Paul Ryan's plan to kill my grandma?
No, no. phlox. You've got the narrative wrong. This was just a bold "marker", a negotiating STARTING point, you see. I yell at the teevee everyfucking time I hear that; "fuckers done voted on it, idiots!"
Please explain the reason you are totally devoid of p, which is kinda cool.
My p mysteriously disappeared after posting that comment.
Intense Debate has it out for me.
Luckily, I do not let my p define me.
That would be my penis.
Your pee is back. Can't speak for your peepee. And had to upfist you because some dick zeroed you out.
That's our long time downfister. The new girl couldn't deal/waste her time.
And now it's back to 85p. Mysterious are the ways of IntenseDebate, which giveth and taketh away p according to an algorithm only it knows.
BUT WHAT purpose do the "P" serve???? I keep looking for that answer.
That was so weird. I watched it happen. Well I'm sure you're very nice in that regard.
"Please explain the reason you are totally devoid of p"
Because the "p" in phlox is silent?
Emily's List is very excited about this, and has already sent me an email begging for money.
Is this the start of a trend?
Do the voters have "buyer's remorse?"
(Sorry to be so serious.)
Yes. At least I hope the post purchase cognitive dissonance (MBA speak) is beginning to be felt.
This is bad news for the GOP in the South. I predict that in the next year or two, all those octogenraians who switched from the Dixiecrat party to the GOP in 1965, right after Lyndon Johnson signed the Civil Rights Act will start to lose their collective minds to creeping senility and –believeing it's still 1955– start voting party line Democrat again.
I'd say, "We'll take it," but I'm pretty sure Democrats aren't allowed to run for congress in the South anymore.
Racism vs. Medicare Hmmm. Which do I value more? Ya know some of them colored are downright nice……
Mad skillz on the 'shop photo and nice elan and panache on the writing. Hochul likely to puke, though, at the site of her decent face on that flesh-tone blood clot of a human. Ten bucks says Meester Lee combs his pubic hair.
You have to comb it, to get the eggs of the crab-lice out.
10 more says he braids it…aka Heidie pigtails.
You're both wrong. He's got nada down there. That is a la mode at the clubs he frequents.
"Junior Tea Party" is funny.
It's for the 55 to 65 range.
Sessions added that while "each side would rather win a special election than lose … to predict the future based on the results of this unusual race is naive and risky," and that special elections were "poor indicators of broader trends or future general election outcomes."
That's right, Pete — it's certainly not a result of Republican overreaching or a harbinger of future consequences. Because the GOP learned its lesson in 2006. Apparently that lesson was not to get caught with their hands in the cookie jar, but to go and steal the whole damn jar. Let's see how that works out for ya.
Everyone knows that you base the outcome of Congressional elections on the results of a couple gubernatorial races!
Also, completely contrary to what they were crowing after Cosmo Brown took Teddy's seat in Massachusetts.
Seesions is correct that this election was unusual – the GOP selected another Stepford, born on third baser who expected the seat as a reward for breathing. What was unusual is that there was a Democratic opponent.
"Sessions added that while "each side would rather win a special election than lose …"
Translation: When Repukes lose an election, they can't stand it, and will move heaven and earth to get the results overturned. See also: Bush, George; Coleman, Norm.
What's with all the he-she pictures this morning? First Rudy, then Liddy, and now Kathy.
Yes, please stop before we get to mAnn Coulter.
So, does this mean rural Americans are done clutching to their guns and Bibles? Or did the hoverrounds just run out of power, and they couldn't get to the polls?
Finally! The fucking super annoying commercials for an election I couldn't even vote in are over!
Well, if she wants to be taken seriously, she needs to get working on her own sex scandal.
No. We're going to have to kill it while it's napping.
Sweet Jeebus, there must be a boatload of illegal immigrant "Wonkette Jr." writers toiling away in Ken's sweatshop this week. I hope they can at least make a proper margarita.
WE ARE TAKING OUR COUNTRY BACK!
This is starting to be like a Black Friday sale at Costco. "Mine!" "Wrong,mine,bitch!"
Hey, hey, there Mr. Man! That is the backwater from which I sprang! They weren't all fascists. That was John J. Lafalce country back in the day.
I wish!
I live in the Rochester cable area but not in that district.
Me too!
But for the first time in her life, Michelle is proud of another chick's guns.
I’m going to admit that NY-26 has more than a few Skoal users but overalls are pretty thin on the ground. The Tea Party guy ran for the last few cycles as a Democrat and was really a one issue guy that being made in America. I would bet he drew as many votes form Democrats as Republicans. Snark if you must but the Canadian suburbs we call Western New York got it done last night.
Please Republicans, don't back away from the Ryan budget too soon. Every day you delay gains votes for the Democrats. Who'da thunk that voters were smart enough to see that converting a single-payer health insurance plan for the one group nobody wants to insure (us Olds) into a $15K gift card every private insurer is free to refuse does not amount to "saving Medicare"?
live by the call for JOBZ. die by the call for JOBZ.
oh, yeah there's a little schadenfreude on the left today.
Kathy Hochul luvs Paul Ryan, the man with the plan.
If the Repubs say that special elections don't count aren't they discriminating against the mentally handicapped?
Preying on the mentally handicapped is what the GOP is all about.
Solution for the perpetual economic depression of that region: turn it into a theme park for urbanites….like rope off a three block area that does not have a Starbucks in its boundaries, and let the City people walk there (after walking thru an admission gate) and marvel at the primitive natural beauty of it.
Downfister must have forgotten to send in his absentee ballot so he's taking out his frustrations on us today.
Splitting the Dem vote just makes it stronger!
I know I'm supposed to snark, but I think you've made some interesting observations. Tactics are only supposed to be for the repubs to use. When Dems do then cries of "unfair" are heard far and wide. The Rs will only be interested in some campaign spending controls if it hamstrings the Dems while allowing them total, unfettered freedom.
Isn't that Paladino Country? Wow.
Would that I could but, sadly, I'm now banned due to one too many Anus and Andy jokes.
Anus 'N Andy Jokes?!?
I usually don't go over there for health reasons – the health of my walls and furniture. I will for sure be hitting the archives, now.
But you're a better man for it, right?
And Christians. They had to be Christians.
rural upstate New York, isn't that where Ichabod Crane hung out?
Why was single-payer always off the table,
because no insurance corporations profit ?
Nice biceps, though.
Some folk'll never eat a skunk
and then again, some folk'll
I think that rhymes with
Kathy Hochul
By god, I think she's got it! Wonkette Jr. is learning. One might even say Wonkette Jr. is evolving…
…and it don't stop!
Less so in Defending Your Life.
One's a Jew, one's a Canadian vegan.
On Meet the Press on Sunday, this one GOP consultant (Mike Murphy, maybe his name is?) actually made a funny joke at Newt's expense. In talking about Newt's mea culpas etc for saying something true about Ryan's plan being fucked up, he dismissed Newt with something like, “Gingrich is like the Belgian Navy. The Belgian Navy's maneuvers may be interesting, but they're certainly not important.”And none of you people better start calling me a WINO (wonketeer in name only — although wino itself is apt) just because I said something nice about a republican.
I got most of my exposure to Brooks during the times we hung out at the Applebee's salad bar together.
p-value = human worth of commenter, of course
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