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What if the gays are busy that day? Is this like jury duty?You know when you buy some something, let’s say a “suit for work interviews,” and then everybody is wearing the same thing, including at the very building where you’re interviewing? Or, you know how you move to the Big City and suddenly everyone is gay, and you start wondering if maybe a lot more people weren’t gay back home, too? Maybe everyone? It’s true! According to sports journalism, everybody is a homosexual now and this is causing some consternation on the playing fields or courts of the professional sports world. Imagine you’re an advertising agency and you’re putting together these big commercials for pickup trucks and light beer and there’s that wrestler with the policeman sunglasses and the cowboy hat howling “Are you ready for football?” but the whole audience is made up of gays and lesbians, because that’s what everyone actually is now. Should there be a test?

Reader-operative (they are the same?) Brian the D. sent us this CNN “opinion article” about sports and gays, and how there’s going to be a test. Multiple choice, we hope, jeez.

(CNN) — The closet door became unhinged lately when a number of gay men in sports decided to turn the knob and hold a public liberation. From a newspaper writer in Boston one week, to a former college basketball player in Philadelphia the next, a radio broadcaster in New York, and finally an executive in Phoenix, all felt safe and bold enough to say, “I’m different.”

So what happened next? That, too, was supposed to be shocking. But it wasn’t. These outings went over in the sports world like a commercial break. A 30-second diversion — that’s all it was. Then folks went back to the ball game. The collective national reaction was a lot like a Serena Williams tennis outfit: short.

We have it on fairly good authority that lesbians will pass all the questions about Serena Williams’ ass. [CNN]

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