Dominique Strauss-Kahn is just too French and Fancy for normal jail with the other accused rapists. So he’s staying at a New York building called “71 Broadway,” wherever that is. The building manager sent out an email to the tenants, just to let them know there might be TV news reporters and other weirdos hanging around all the time. It’s funny how the big concern isn’t that there’s an accused sex criminal in the building, but that there might be a “media presence” outside the lobby. The rich, they are different!
Thanks to “Occupant X” for sending this to our tips line:
From: R_______@eqrworld.com>
Date: Sat, 21 May 2011 07:35:05
Subject: Media presenceTo: Residents of 71 Broadway
We want to inform you that Dominique Strauss-Kahn, the former IMF Director who is under indictment in New York, is currently staying at 71 Broadway. Mr. Strauss-Kahn is here as a guest of a leaseholder. We were not consulted before the leaseholder invited him in, but we have been assured that he will only be staying here until early next week.
We will have an increased staff presence in the building this weekend to ensure that the media, and the curious, are kept out of the building.
We apologize for the inconvenience and appreciate your patience.
Ray R__________
General Manager71 Broadway
(212) 344-xxxx
my.equityapartments.com
We obviously aren’t wealthy, but if we did live in such a swank Manhattan building, we wonder if the real concern would be “the curious” or “the (alleged) rapist” wandering around. Maybe this is only a concern of the housekeeping staff. Ewww. And here’s a Wall Street Journal item on the same email, to prove it is real, at least by Rupert Murdoch journalism standards.
{ 184 comments }
Well, that's better than keeping him at a ritzy hotel. Seems he has no boundaries where the maid's "turn down" service is concerned.
It's his demand for "lie down" services that's the problem.
Yeah, he hates it when the maid turns him down.
The notice was actually for DSK, alerting him to the presence of news reporters in case he might want to rape one.
It's a full-service building with concierge.
"We will have an increased staff presence in the building this weekend to ensure that the media, and the curious, are kept out of the building."
Thus decreasing their chance of getting raped?
Will they keep out the bi-curious as well?
The bi-curious? That's a hole different story.
Like – (cough) – "Of Human Bondage"?
Ahhhh, so's yer Maugham.
You guys just can't let one float by, can ya'?
Since they were not specificly listed, I bet the Lebonese are full of glee.
DSK: Too allegedly rape-y for the New World.
Anne Sinclair: Too Tammy Wynette-y for my taste.
So, we finally jailed a banker?
At the very least, we finally luxury-apartmented a banker.
Madoff doesn't count. He made the mistake of stealing from RICH people.
He assumed they were so rich , they wouldn't notice a little skim here and a little skim there. His bad.
yea, we jailed a banker for actual fucking, but not the ones that fucked over the global economy. They just got record bonuses for fucking everyone on the planet!
Yes, we finally jailed a banker. Not just any banker, but the boss of the IMF, destroyer of Third Worlds.
But–and may this be no disrespect to his victim, Nafissatou Diallo–this is like getting Al Capone on tax evasion.
Nafissatou pic here: http://news1.ghananation.com/headlines/155846-naf...
I figure if the accused perp gets to have his picture plastered all over the place, why not his alleged vic? What is fair for the goose is fair for the gander, innit?
Usually because all self respecting news orgs keep the names of sexual assault victims confidential so as not to victimize them twice. Interesting that a Ghanian website published both her name and photo.
my favorite part of that POS article is this:
"She wants to remain anonymous because she's very much afraid that something could happen to her physically, she feels very threatened by this," he said of the global attention."
"…but we don't give a shit. page viewzzzz!!!" -Ghana Nation ed.
shouldn't they be sending "hello! a sex criminal is just moved into your neighborhood" cards to all residents within 1000 yards?
Shouldn't that be "'Alllo! Haw-haw-haw!" [twirling mustache and adjusting beret]
of course. my mistake.
"Pardonnez ce-moi"
Pas de probleme!
Le pew! Le pew!
"Rapist" is not a recognized McKim, Mead, & White architectural category. BUILDING FAIL.
"to prove it is real, at least by Rupert Murdoch journalism standards"
Some say that BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA personally ordered that this dangerous rapist be housed in a luxury apartment, allowed to roam loose among upstanding American citizens. We're only raising the question.
So that he can rape Rupert Murdoch? That's diabolical.
71 Broadway sounds like a discotheque.
Sorry Wonkette Jr. I haven't been posting much today, not because of you but because of a busy day at work. You are an adorable lil' ragamuffin!
The whole situation is fucked up. I feel terrible for the people in 71 B'way and for Strauss-Kahn. Clearly the rich need their own set of laws so they may be properly shielded from this and similar unpleasantness.
"The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread."
–Anatole France, who, incidentally, was also French.
The people in the building have been interviewed and DSK is fitting right in, now that he has stopped wandering the halls looking for non-existent maid service.
What's this world coming to when one of the world's most powerful men actually has the law applied to him like any common criminal?
Where did you pees go?
They're back! A lot of commenters have been undergoing sudden deflation of their p-ness; thankfully it doesn't take too long for the p to grow back to its original size again.
All we are saying, is give p's a chance
He got the apartment on "Broad"way because he figured it was filled with broads for his boffing pleasure.
come on now, is it really rape to go grabbing a brown person and sticking your cock in their mouth? I am pretty sure this does not fit the House definition of rape, at all.
"It's not rape" TM, only applies if you want an abortion.
As long as you don't want an abortion, I don't think they care how it is defined.
Is the maid/hooker trying to use DSK's misfortune to get herself an abortion?
It's not rape™â€‹ also applies if you want to refer to yourself as a victim. In Georgia, if not elsewhere, there are people who say you cannot refer to yourself as a rape "victim" unless a rapist has been convicted by a jury of his peers (which rarely ever happens, but WTF). You can be a robbery victim, or a regular old assault victim (fists, not penises), but in most cases, It's not rape™â€‹.
"…go grabbing a brown female person…"
Fixed.
3/5 of a rape, at most. And then only if force is involved.
And only if the BFP forces you to rape her.
You get that photo if you Google "french stereotype". I shit you not!
Really? It looks like R-Waggz dressed up for Halloween!
I used to live in an apt complex managed by Equity Residential–wasn't exactly the Taj Mahal (think low rent shithole). I'm sure the standards are higher in NYC..
Come on, you could at least find one other French dude that put has man-parts in holes not belonging to his wife.
The Continental?
That is indeed creepy!
I just want to caution the residents. When DSK says "Oops, my towel slipped." Run!!!
Yikes, we got a tipster that's wealthy enough to live at 71 B'way? Or is he just on the staff?
If the latter, watch out for general rapiness, Ben N. The French guy may be old, but I hear he moves pretty fast.
"Yikes, we got a tipster that's wealthy enough to live at 71 B'way? Or is he just on the staff? "
More likely our tipster just lives in a cardboard box on the roof & steals wifi. One of us.
Prolly gradumacated from my high school in lowest Manhattan, too.
I'm glad that at least the owner is aware of the inconvenience of having a(n alleged) rapist prowling the corridors. Otherwise I would have gotten mad!
Yay sub-letting.
The warning is for any staff who might be sobbing in a hallway, spitting out spunk, so they know to only stagger out the back door.
Judging from this nugget on the WSJ board, DSK has hired Orly Taitz to be his defense attorney:
Holy shit. I had no idea. It's TOTALLY an inside job. How else could she have known which guest was a wealthy businessman staying at a Sofitel?
What the fuck does that mean? I read it like 3 times……Is this one of those monkey at a keyboard for a thousand years deals? It reads like instructions for installing a satellite dish.
Someone ran a Le Monde comment through Google Translate and posted it.
It's the only way that makes sense.
More like A Le Monde comment through Finnegans Wake Translate.
If you're the sort of person who enJoyce that sort of thing.
I think that is the French Sarah Palin.
Le Trigè, peut-être.
Lookitchu, with your fancy Fraaansh accent marks and everything. La-di-dah!
That reads like a bot. Then again, so does Orly.
Nadine?
I remember her/him/it. Brrrrrrrrrrrrr. Creepy.
Retro day brought up a lot of memories; her craziness was a big one.
"Honey, is that you?"
Mom?
Come back to the raft agin, Huck honey.
(Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop free-associating)
Do you really logical thing that could happen such as we have a program of the presidential vote, for next year?
I do NOT logical thing! So THERE.
Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
[typing with eyes closed, except for punctuation] pioufwljnfweoihjwefobjqOGUQIRgribve!!!!!!!
Killer RedState comment, no?
NEEDS MOAR ALL CAPS.
You filthy animal food trough waterrrrr, I fart in your general direction, Your mother was a huckster and your father stank of elderberries!
French taunter speak I suspect.
Monty Python.
Who, (whom?), ever wrote that clearly did not spend much time in English class. Probably spent more time in "Business Ethics 301 – How to Avoid Ethics in Business".
Re alt-text, the Carla Bruni are always appropriate.
Fancy places like that usually have free Wi-Fi, Donuts and Orange Juice in the lobby every morning.
And toaster waffles. Uuuhhh…toaster waffles…
From the beautifully designed daily itinerary "At 2:00 in the Red Lounge the staff will be performing scenes from that hilarious off-off Broadway hit….Mister, Mister, No Rape Me."
The kinda place where you call the desk and say "I've gotta leak in my sink!" and they say "Go ahead, everyone else does anyhow". They have special imported bedbugs in the swankier spots.
they should make him shack up with the palins. That would be a more fitting confinement.
Let's see…serial [apparent] sexual predator vs. Brood o' Grifters.
Head…'splodin'…
Bristol and her new chin wouldn't stand a chance.
I wonder if her new chin is just a redesigned ball-rest?
Dear Wonkette Jr. (If that is your real name),
I would like you to correct the stereotypical French Guy picture.
It is missing the obligatory stink lines.
You’re Welcome!
Monsieur Grumpe
Reminds me of the scene in Antz, when the hornets stumble across Sharon Stone and Neurotic Kid Fucker, and speak under their breath, "Euro-trash!"
They should also increase staff presence to protect the other staff members from Mr. Rapey's wandering member.
It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood. A beautiful day for a neighbor. Would you be mine?
A rapist in the building!?!? Baguette about it!
Braguette zipped, also, mon Maréchal.
So Mr. IMF's daring-escape-in-black-helicopter-and-ensuing-apocalyptic-gun-battle is planned for "early next week"?
Well, it is Summer Blockbuster season. And Jerry Bruckheimer's looking for new scripts. So…I don't think this is a coincidence.
What kind of rapist name is "Dominique" anyway? I thought that was a chick name.
It's doubly ironic, since he's a bottom. Albeit a power bottom.
You have to understand that the males that make up the Upper Crust of Manhattan are so thoroughly debauched that rape has no meaning to them. They all walk around, half-naked and tumescent and violate any orifice on any person that presents itself. And the females are so used to this that they offer no more resistance than a cow at a breeders. DSK will fit right in with all the other perverted inhabitants of the building.
The media, on the other hand…
"We will have an increased staff presence"
Hasn't DSK and his increased staff already caused enough problems?
Been busting my brain here for 20 minutes and you waltz in with a win. B*#tard.
"Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me," so, hey, no problem.
Only in America would an accused sex offender who happens to be an international financial expert be put up in an apartment building near Wall Street as an alternative to jail.
We really do suck in ways too numerous to count.
And "Anne Sinclair" with "Anne Hathaway." That would be fine, yes.
All the maids at the Sofitel knew DSK as "Stretched Bentley".
I just want to ask DSK "Were you mad because she was wearing a scarf? Were you going to fuck it off her head or something?"
Dear Tenant,
This is to inform you of an expedited update to your lease. See addendum in the attached.
ADDENDUM #1, TITLE "NO FUCKING THE MAID WITHOUT HER PERMISSION"
DSK: I'm sorry are we not suppose to fuck the maids? Was that in the handbook? I don't remember reading that. If I had know it was a rule, I wouldn't have done it. Can I go now?
'NO MAID FUCKING' is also listed right under 'NO RUNNING' and 'NO DIVING' on the pool sign just in case.
That's not in the IMF rules. I checked.
A few points to make about this entire saga.
1). Fuck the French. They complain about DSK's treatment? Ask them about that Einhorn guy who killed his wife and stuffed her in steamer trunk then ran off to France.
They protected a murderer for no other reason than to piss us off.
2). What's wrong with French women? What lessons are you teaching your daughters? It's okay for every male member of the upper cast to look at you like a fat kid looks at ice cream? If they want to toss you a hump, you should be thankful?
3). Ben Stein should never, ever be taken seriously again.
4). The wealthy really do live by different standards but what does this say about the IMF as an institution? What value do they really add and at what cost? If we took a flame thrower to the top management of the IMF, what impact would it have in the world of international finance? Nothing would happen. The world would keep spinning. I refuse to believe the third world would not get access to financial resources if not for fat European white men staying in swanky hotels.
Someone definitely took Ben Stein's mind.
Well done, Mr. Chip. Well done.
Not sure exactly how the IMFs fuck up the global south now but in the structural adjustment days the fat European white men who stayed in luxury hotels made sure the third world didn't get access to international capital in any meaningful way.
I approve of your numerous numerals, but I am especially fond of 3. That man doesn't deserve to be in polite company — not that there's any of that here, but still.
Oh, please. That would lack subtlety, n'est-ce-pas?
Just a little note: The rapist/banker happens to be French.
The picture of the Frenchman in the sailor shirt and beret with the bottle of wine happens to be too corny even for my terrible puns.
Mon Dieu! Sacre Bleu!
If you increased security for every rapist living around the financial district, unemployment would reach historic lows.
Could you imagine what the pervs over at Goldman do on their vacations?
How odd that I did just get, today, for the first time, a notification from my town that a Level 3 sex offender was now a neighbor. It's so hard to figure out what to give as a welcome gift. Condoms? Cattle banders?
Duct tape?
Coupons for a maid service?
called, uh, let's see here…"Maid in America"?
Saltpeter?
A subscription to Barely Legal?
May I suggest a dozen Speer Gold-Dot? Ideally delivered at 1,150 FPS.
Temazepan?
This whole story makes me all kinds of queasy. "I hold it against the American judge", writes Bernard-Henri Levy, "who, by delivering him to the crowd of photo hounds, pretended to take him for a subject of justice like any other."
What's surprising isn't the sentiment – the notion that the rich are somehow not like the rest of us – but that anyone would ever actually say such a thing so openly. Good thing we showed our rejection of that idea by confining him to a penthouse, like common subjects of justice!
Don't be so crass, it's not Just the money, DSK is also powerful and french. I am sure BHL loves/would love/ talking current events with with DSK while playing a round of Chase the Maid .
Point taken, though "rich" as I was loosely using it refers to a kind of human being (the asshole kind) rather than just someone with money.
I'm impressed the old goat had to spend a few shower cycles at Rikers jail before letting him out on bail.
So this must be one of those bedbugs people up there complain about.
"Guys, this the only French person picture I could find!"
Talk about phoning it in.
http://wonkette.com/163538/the-french-do-everythi...
So Wonkette Junior is David Lat?
Everybody calm the fuck down. Benson's going to show up at his door in a sexy maid's outfit. As soon as he shows her the baguette, Fin and Stabler will bust in and pop him for violating his bail. I've seen it happen a thousand times.
Will Munch say something wry? Please tell me that Munch will say something wry…
Oh, I think any Wonkette comment about DSK, the IMF and raping African countries would be completely in character for Munch.
"As soon as he shows her the baguette…"
Boy, talk about your euphemisms!
Conveniently, one of them will get a cell call, while one is interviewing a stereotypical NY "character" that breaks the case. Donk. Donk.
This email was the "Saran Wrap" of swank Manhattan buildings:
Keeps accused sex criminals in and media and the curious out.
Wouldn't it be easier to keep the perv in a giant Tupperware container with holes punched in it?
"…frog-marching…" Yes, ISWYDT, and I like it.
I have it on good authority that the French are upset at the suggestion they wear hideous horizontally striped shirts as well as hats with turgid little dicks on top like the one accompanying this story. Deft use of the frog-march, too. Huzzah.
So perhaps it's a good time to give the maid a week off.
Not when it involved Algiers.
It's ironic that the victim is from Guinea, since the French raped that country on their way out by ripping out their whole infrastructure, just because Sekou Toure had the nerve to tell them to fuck off.
The rich aren't different from the rest of us. It just doesn't count when they do it.
If only he had stayed at the Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas. Apparently, they check the maids' (and bellboys') undergarments after checkout, and simply add the service onto your bill, like counting the bottles in the mini-fridge.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1D808tblYc
I'm not even going to watch that. Sometimes my ability to keep faith in humanity is hanging by too tenuous a thread.
Little Georgie Bush is living in a mansion in Texas. I find that much more disturbing.
Me too! And we fuckin' had to pay for Darth Cheneys new heart when it should have been ripped out and held up to the sun gods.
Oh no. The French Downfist brigade have arrived.
DOWNFIST-ERS. SHOVE LE GRANDE FROMAGE DANS VOTRE ASSHO-LE.
Consider, my fellow snarkers, the lynch mob that would form if classes and races were reversed and a rich, white girl was assaulted by a working class black.
Get the rope.
It is a little ironic that the French are all a-flutter about the "treatment" of DKS.
Rich guy commits rape? Stash him in a fancy apartment building. Jean Valjean steals a crust of bread? 20 years!!!1!
I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted
But the tigers come at night,
With their voices soft as thunder,
As they tear your hope apart,
And they turn your dream to sha-aaa-AAAAAAME….
(So true.)
The new DSKNY Rapewear Collection includes a line of diamond-studded ankle monitors.
To go with the velvet track suits so popular in Federal country clubs.
C'est la question!
For those folks at home who don't know, the French are pissed because it is illegal in France to show someone being arrested or in hand-cuffs as it implies guilt of something that they haven't been tried for yet. They want us to treat their jackass their way even though he is accused of something on our soil. Frog marching him (humm, I wonder about that term now) in front of the cameras is shocking to them, but you know what? C'est la vie.
He climbing in your window
Not if it crosses the appropriate class lines. In the case of Strauss-Kahn it would be considered "fondling the help" which is normal.
Wonkette really does have its spies everywhere.
Is Wonkette Jr a hamburger place? at 71 Broadway…
I'd suggest "Tabernac!" but that's Fake Insulting Quebec French, not Real Insulting Continental French. Poutaine, also.
Go Google "Ira Einhorn" for a great primer on French-US international criminal justice relations.
The Frogs refused to extradite a suspected murderer for years and years, and yet they got all upset over Kaaaaaaaahn!'s 30-second perp walk.
It's late. Auden you be in bed by now?
Hey, big Spender. Is that a pun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
(Alternate reply: Isherwood going to be able to handle the strain?)
Mae West meet East, and never the Twain shall part. Mark it well.
Something must be done to protect developing nations from the IMF's Kipling regulatory burden. It's highly unlikely, though, that they'll find Uncle Sam Clement to their case.
I believe we've pounded this one into the dirt.
Truce? Peace with honor?
I don't get it….
I hear it has a scenic view. The East River runs nearby.
Gah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Slow humor day. On behalf of Barb, the good Doktor, and myself, I apologize, but not sincerely.
Doc, I have an ink blot here. What would you say this represents??
A black man stealing my health insurance?
Ink blot. Ink blot. Ink blot. Vagina. Ink blot.
Well pewed, Pepi.
AND SLURS. NOT ENOUGH SLURS.
So, these are not frozen p's?
1. Artfully redesigned VW Bug
2. Pizza Box Jesus
3. Two Panda's cuddling
4. Vagina
5. Thanksgiving Hand Turkey
Never apologize. Your Wonketteers don't need it and your enemies, erm…can just go eff themselves.
Wait, did I get that right?
Consider yourself well fisted.
Why, yes, spudgun, you did. Thank you.
Comments on this entry are closed.