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Full speed ahead!
For years, Lindsey Graham has been dogged (a little bit of pun intended there) by allegations that he is gay. He denies this, and professes to just be a strange bachelor whose house is strewn with trash. Last December, however, gay-outer Mike Rogers said he had “pictures” of a man who spent the night at Graham’s house. But the photos never materialized. Sure, there are photos like the one above, of a man showing Ham Biscuits a map of a penis being inserted into some kind of orifice. But in the interest of closure, we’ve tried to find some really butch photos of Graham. He’s totally straight!

Here’s Lindsey with his fellow beauty pageant winners bitches. (Wait, that almost sounds as bad.)

'Nice to meet you, lady. Will you marry me?'
Lindsey may be distracted by something and not actually watching the woman next to him, but hey, look at that erection he’s covering up!

Infiltrating the rear guard.
Hmm, this time he’s staring at a strapping army man when he’s covering it up. Maybe a hot lady just walked by?

Story of his life.
Here he is with men in uniform again and has to use even stronger force to keep down the boner: the edge of a weighty plaque. Why are the sexy women always off camera? Where did you put your ladies, Lindsey? Seems kind of odd he didn’t have to strike this pose with the beauty queens.

Which one is the boy 'scout'?
Well, Boy Scouts aren’t allowed within 500 yards of a gay person! ERGO, STRAIGHT.

'You ever get your mouth around one of my ham biscuits, son? Dee-licious!'
The caption on this said the two were discussing the YMCA. Nothing gay about that! The YMCA is where men go to do very masculine things like build muscle and take showers with each other.

Wicked straight!
Lindsey Graham speaking in a classroom at Bob Jones University. Notice the Jesus lesson above the chalkboard about “wicked thoughts,” then look back down at Lindsey’s face. He’s certainly not thinking anything wicked!


Well that's not an amorous gaze at all.
Finally, the greatest American male activity: football. Surely Graham was drawn in by the thrill of the sport, not because the team is called the “Cocks.”

Yep, no problem here! Keep on opposing rights for gay people, Ham Biscuits.

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