For years, Lindsey Graham has been dogged (a little bit of pun intended there) by allegations that he is gay. He denies this, and professes to just be a strange bachelor whose house is strewn with trash. Last December, however, gay-outer Mike Rogers said he had “pictures” of a man who spent the night at Graham’s house. But the photos never materialized. Sure, there are photos like the one above, of a man showing Ham Biscuits a map of a penis being inserted into some kind of orifice. But in the interest of closure, we’ve tried to find some really butch photos of Graham. He’s totally straight!
Here’s Lindsey with his fellow beauty pageant winners bitches. (Wait, that almost sounds as bad.)
Lindsey may be distracted by something and not actually watching the woman next to him, but hey, look at that erection he’s covering up!
Hmm, this time he’s staring at a strapping army man when he’s covering it up. Maybe a hot lady just walked by?
Here he is with men in uniform again and has to use even stronger force to keep down the boner: the edge of a weighty plaque. Why are the sexy women always off camera? Where did you put your ladies, Lindsey? Seems kind of odd he didn’t have to strike this pose with the beauty queens.
Well, Boy Scouts aren’t allowed within 500 yards of a gay person! ERGO, STRAIGHT.
The caption on this said the two were discussing the YMCA. Nothing gay about that! The YMCA is where men go to do very masculine things like build muscle and take showers with each other.
Lindsey Graham speaking in a classroom at Bob Jones University. Notice the Jesus lesson above the chalkboard about “wicked thoughts,” then look back down at Lindsey’s face. He’s certainly not thinking anything wicked!
Finally, the greatest American male activity: football. Surely Graham was drawn in by the thrill of the sport, not because the team is called the “Cocks.”
Yep, no problem here! Keep on opposing rights for gay people, Ham Biscuits.
{ 132 comments }
"….and has to use even stronger force to keep down the boner: the edge of a weighty plaque." I'm sure he's had plenty of plaque on his boner from young men who don't floss properly.
I'm convinced, he's a straight as any man-jack out of the Carolinas. I'm going invite him over for brunch and mimosas and we'll watch the figure skating competitions on teevee afterwards.
and exchange 'Gossip Girl" and "Glee" dvds.
"OMG!! Gossip Girl is out on DVD?! Squeeeeeeee!!!"
(pillow fight ensues)
Mimosas are a lovely drink, please don't associate them with Ms. Lindsey.
They are lovely. I had one with my mom on Mother's Day.
But they are as gay as anything with alcohol in it can get. Except maybe Zima (does that still exist?)
Except maybe Zima (does that still exist?)
Sure do hope not!
I dunno. I once had a cosmo with a squeeze of lemon and a little umbrella. A little umbrella with glitter.
Don't tell Newt.
It's been dead for a few years now.
He's not gay, he's just a girly man.
I'm more concerned with South Carolina's Mooslim looking flag.
that "penetrating thing" in the first photo is so short …
was it Lindsey's ?
How would I know? Ha ha. I mean, there's no way I could know such a thing.
She is not Gay.
Have you, at long last, no sympathy or shame, Jack?
His parents named him Lindsey for Christ sake. That was just putting the little tyke on the Homo Express..They might as well have named him Salamandera Gobblecock. The little cracker never had a chance.
Cracker Milquetoast.
You sir are cursed with an over abundance of empathy.
Yeah, hmmm. I thought it was my usual hangover coupled with a particularly nasty rash.
Also his parents made him wear his hair in pigtails in grade school… and then there was that clown face!
Hey, even FDR started out a little on the girly side. By the time he was a full-time politician, he was a husband, a father (Of six! With Eleanor!) , and banging mistresses on the side.
Not to mention the velvet pantaloons and the shirt with the big lace collar and cuffs
Salamandra sounds so Southern. I'd not at all be surprised to find out that's an actual name.
Graham has a dream to turn America around.
Then slowly pull its pants down while whispering gently into America's ear and…
Hey, I thought that was Newt's dream!
Lindsey is Game for some Cock. But hes not Gay hes Republican..
Jesus, check out the forward head position on this guy! Someone get him to a chiropractor, STAT!
He had a better reason to avoid service than Dick Cheney, George W., Rush "Boil Butt" Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, _____________ [fill in the name of your favorite Republican warmonger here]. And still he served his country in the JAG corps, sportin' a smart uniform and supporting the brave warriors every way he could. I'll bet he even made mercy visits to the brig. You people should be ashamed of making fun of this Great American.
If Lindsey were indeed straight, his name would be spelled with an A. That's the guy spelling. So, there you have it.
Okay, Jon. Frances agrees with you too.
What did if for me is the little heart he uses to dot his "i".
There's a guy spelling?
According to Lindsey Buckingham, yes.
Lindsey is not gay — he's just a normal straight man who wants to grow up to be a princess.
Graham is Camilla Parker-Bowles to Cindy Mc Cain's Diana.
My mind is trying to follow that train, but lost it nearly right out of the depot.
That is one twee little man there. His cheeks have such a damp glow, too.
Making fun of Lindsey Graham is easy. You might say he's a low hanging fruit.
Ba-boom!
In Conservative Circles, pretending to be closeted ghey is the best way to hot toliet stall sex.
The photos are enough to scare a young gay man straight.
But I think it was too late for the YMCA chap in the bow tie.
I hope there's a bear out there who's a registered Democrat who'd be willing to "date" Lindsey
In the photo with Lindsey in the classroom, compare the angle he's standing at to the desk & chalkboard behind him – either he's not straight or the room isn't.
He's not straight, but he does look pretty square
That's actually a secret blueprint of how girlie parts work.
That's why he isn't covering up the erection in that pic.
Man… he looks surprisingly MORE comfortable in every picture but the one at the pageant… hmm.
Mmmm, who is the delectable shiny-faced young fellow with the bow tie? I must ring up ol' Linds and compare notes.
My experience of the southern gentry is that all of the men are gay, each and every one of them. Poncing little Ashley Wilkses, hanging around the country club in their pink Lacoste polos and bermuda shorts, or the madras, with the ribbon belts with spouting whales, mincing and sniffing and gossiping and bitching nancy-boys, the lot of them. Their poor neglected wives have to resort to hopping on any cock they can find, at every opportunity (I'm looking at you, Nikki Haley). And they're mean and vicious as fucking snakes, too. And thats the modern GOP.
Ye-es. Here in the land of polite Southern rudeness we take our posturing and cock hopping seriously.
It's important to have hobbies.
Well bless their little black hearts.
Do I detect a note of bitterness in your voice?
And that analysis is fucking genius. Thank you.
Bing-fuckin'-O. But, apparently, gays only exists in the North and on the Pacific coasts. The most flamboyant dandies a body could ever see are down in the Freaky, Durrty Souf.
Nice analysis. I would have to agree. I grew up in that sort of environment. Got out. And, yeah, I am as butch as it gets.
I wonder if its hard to pretend you dont like Dicks in a room full of Dicks when you are in fact a Dick yourself.
They never figure out that they are dicks themselves.
Even when their actual NAME is Dick, they still insist they are patriots.
In the words of another not gay senator: "I am not gay. I love my wife."
Oh, wait….
Hey, Lindsey's the purty one.
Try this with Turtleman! McConnell, Jack.
~
Lord-a-mercy, in those photos of him with the uniform-types he practically looks like a nervous schoolgirl. I just picture him with his little toes pointed inwards while he shifts his weight back and forth, and says in his most coquettish Blanche Dubois/honeysuckle drawl, "Well I do declare, you boys must be stronger than my granddaddy's Saturday nite likker."
Where as on the other hand, he looks like a pea in a pod with the sassy pageant gals.
If Lindsey is gay that's his only redeeming trait.
This man has as much chance of convincing the world that he is straight as a Rethuglican has of convincing the world that he is compassionate.
Hmmmm, no boner cover up in the beauty pageant picture.
Nothing wrong with being gay, Lindsey. It's the southern conservatism that we hate.
Is there a cure for being allegedly gay?
Suck a dick and have it filmed. That'll get rid of the "allegedly" in a heartbeat.
Have "Dancing Queen" as your ring tone to remove all doubt.
Allegedly there is.
"Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?"
Have you ever seen a grown man naked?
Lindsey tends to linger a bit longer than most in the Senators's shower at the Congressional gym.
Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?
Ms. North Carolinia is fucking poured into that dress. Rrrrrrrrrooooow.
Come on. Lindsey Graham gay? Would a gay man say "“I am willing to take the bruises and stand by Obama" huff.to/lZnyzX? That could only happen if there were gay people who also like it rough. And we know that's not possible.
Why are his hand in his pockets so much? Is he reaching in for candy?
He keeps a handful of glitter in each pocket.
If he butched it up a little more, he could probably be Kurt's understudy on "Glee".
Dear Downfister
Every time you click the little red fist I wank a little more to the photos on this page. CLICK FASTER PLEASE YOU ARE BREAKING MY RHYTHM
All those downfisters have "issues" about their "maleness", just read the Breitbart related comment pages where they post, here's the major downfister's link http://intensedebate.com/people/Spanky2b (he follows a thousand people!)
They don't like it when someone makes fun of their bootyful menfolks.
Spanky?? Is that what he likey?
You broke my heart. He just started following me, and I was so excited, because nobody follows me. So I guess I am "On Notice."
I'm following you now. You p-ness karma is back in balance.
Thanks. I was getting a bit nauseated. But now I feel better.
In that third pic he his covering up the boner he got from checking out the the boner that the brotha on the left is attempting to hide.
He has a purty mouf.
In defense of Lindsey (in the 3rd pic), if that's Karen Hughes he's standing behind, he definitely doesn't have an erection. Would you?
Whoever pantsuit lady is, she is the perfect beard!
They're charting the course of attack for that accursed CSS Hunley!
Poor Lindsey was disqualified from the Carolina beauty pageant for being too short. He must be at least 8 inches shorter than the one in the white top – Miss West Carolina, maybe? (She can't be either North or South, as red and yellow have them covered.) Too bad, as I understand he has a killer baton-twirling routine.
Flaming baton?
Well, there's something flaming there, at least.
If his is doing that, perhaps he should see a doctor. There is medication for that. Also, an app. Also.
The men in dress uniform are firefighters. They're asking Lindsey if he would like to come by the fire station and have a nice meal of cake and cock. By the time Lindsey gets their, they will have eaten all the cake, so Lindsey will only have cock.
He will still say how much he likes the frosting…
It's mahvelous, dahling…. simply mahvelous!
I don't know about Lindsey Graham but Charleston Harbor definitely sounds gay.
He dresses as nicely as J. Edgar Hoover.
I don't think he's got the legs for the cocktail dresses, tho.
I opened this post because I thought it was a nice memorial piece.
Then I realized Graham was still alive.
Fuck.
Jeebus … Lindsey Graham gives me the creeps. He's always reminded me of one of those chronic alcoholics fluttering around the patio of a gay bar on a Saturday night spilling his mint julip on everyone's dresses as he drawls, "Y'all havin' a good time? You go, grrrrrl," before he throws up in the bush behind the two Leather daddies.
Fuck, I'm the South Carolina Columbitard who has to say it: U CAIN'T LICK R COCKS!
Agreed. But I'd like to hear what the men of South Carolina have to say about it.
The scout picture alt-text reminded me of a joke that was on our local (Chicago) "Bozo's Circus" teevee show many, many, many years ago when I was MUCH younger. Looking back, quite inappropriate considering.
Bozo said something about being a girl scout. His fellow clown sidekick asked, "how can you be a girl scout?" Bozo replied, "you scout what you want, I'll scout what I want!"
Sure, the pictures are nice, but where's the audio?
They get on TV and go ‘errrr, errrrr.’
http://wonkette.com/410144/sen-voinovich-reveals-…
Silly owls! Retro week was yesterday!
By which I mean, it felt like a week.
They have everything that you need to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys …
I see South Carolinians have a Muslim crescent on their flag. Must be 'cause they're under Sharia Law. I'd accuse them of disloyalty to the United States Constitution, but pretty sure everyone already knows that. And they're proud of it anyway.
Hell, I'd settle having them back under Martial Law.
his. name. is. Lindsey.
LINDSEY!
I rest my case
I keep on wanting deeply to make a "southern belle/coming out party" joke, but for the life of me, I can't come up with one. Brilliant and depraved minds of Wonkette, can you help me out with this?
I heard there was video of him and Andrew Breitbart groping each other. I was promised this video by an irreverent political poop blog, but they reneged. Makes one wonder.
Lindsee needs moar bowties like that nice young man has…
Damn…that picture with the map is provocative. Also…doesn't Lindsey remind you of Mr. Garrison?
So he plays games with cocks. Is that really sufficient grounds for spurious rumors?
More important than being allegedly gay is that he has a time machine that he uses to go and visit a youthful Tucker Carlson in.
Or is that Tucker Carlson's little brother? Know it can't be his son, because Tucker is a Rectal Ranger too.
can't we associate lindsey with some food other than ham biscuits? i do not live near ham biscuits and now i want ham biscuits again.
Apparently, downfisters are even more protective of ham biscuits than Lindsey Graham. You managed to get at least three slaps for that comment. I wonder how they feel about Joe Liebermann and his favorite snacks.
You mean Muslim?
If he's gay, I want to be cured.
If he's not, I want the rumors to stop.
We have suffered enough from Republicans. Having this church lady mess in our ranks is asking a little too much.
Is Anita Bryant free these days? She'd be a good one, Linds. And she probably needs the money enough to stay in her own bedroom with the TV turned up while you frolic down the hall.
Teh gays would never except him as a member, man, hes a crappy dresser and what not
Oh, please–who among us hasn't rubbed his hands across a picture of a giant penis?
As straight as a ham biscuit, and just as tender.
As is the historical plantation house down by Charleston that he and his long time companion are restoring.
A may 4th press release:
"WASHINGTON – U.S. Senator Lindsey Graham (R-South Carolina) today made this statement on President Obama’s decision not to release photos of the corpse of Osama Bin Laden.
“I respectfully disagree with President Obama’s decision not to release the photos. It’s a mistake.
“The whole purpose of sending our soldiers into the compound, rather than an aerial bombardment, was to obtain indisputable proof of Bin Laden’s death. I know Bin Laden is dead. But the best way to protect and defend our interests overseas is to prove that fact to the rest of the world.
“I’m afraid the decision made today by President Obama will unnecessarily prolong this debate.”
You know you're butch when you want to throw that red meat out to the public.
Leave Lindsey alone. Can't a man down a few mint julips on his antebellum plantation veranda whilst being fanned by brown gentlemen whilst watching reruns of Designing Women without having aspersions cast as to his sexuality? Lindsey is just a busy Suhthin' gentlemen, thas all.
I think we should leave him alone. Hasn't he got enough to contend with just being Lindsey fucking Graham?
South Carolina flies a Confederate flag in Columbia, and a rainbow flag in Washington.
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