the greatest political figure of all time

Willie Nelson On Gary Johnson Endorsement: ‘My Bad’

It would appear Willie Nelson read our joke about Dennis Kucinich running for president and took it very seriously:

“I know I said that,” Nelson replied. “But I think I will wait and see where he stands on other things. My bad. Sorry. I still think he is a good guy but so Is Dennis and if he decided to run I would personally vote for him. If it came down to either him or Gary I’m already committed to Dennis. They both have said they support legal pot.”

It’s 2011, and this guy still has to hang with candidates like this. Would anybody really care if Barack Obama just admitted he thinks pot should be legal? Not really. But Willie Nelson is going to die before he sees it happen. (By the way, what’s he going to do? He should definitely get cremated like halfway and then be finished off in a bowl with some pot.) [Teapot Party via Reason]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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54 comments

  1. ManchuCandidate

    I was gonna endorse Kucinich until I got high
    I gonna get up and say he's my man but then I got high
    I endorsed Gary Johnson and I know why
    - cause I got high… cause I got high… cause I got high.

  2. Mumbletypeg

    When Nelson dies, there will be but one 'Highwayman' still standing.
    Kucinich/ Kristofferson '12!!

    1. SexySmurf

      I think his last name is Pawlenty. I think he used to be a water commissioner somewhere in South Dakota.

  3. DaRooster

    "They both have said they support legal pot.”
    That is definitely the reason to vote for someone. Sorry but if you think the economy is bad now… wait until pot is legal… here in NOR-CAL shit'll go downhill even further.

    1. DahBoner

      If you lived in Chicago during Prohibition, you coulda woulda said the same thing:

      "Sorry but if you think the economy is bad now… wait until alcohol is legal… here in Chicago shit'll go downhill even further."

      1. DaRooster

        Although I'm pretty sure we have more pot growers, trimmers, workers around here spreading it around locally than there were mobsters making millions and sending/taking it to NY and Florida… maybe not though.

        1. DahBoner

          Nothing new.

          I remember reading in the WSJ in the early 80's about how the sherrif in Humbolt county drove a NEW SUV.

          That was back when they were supplying the entire US with dah sensi.

          Probably a little more local market now, no need to ship it anywhere else when it flys off the shelves at the Global Organic Pharmacies

          1. DaRooster

            I remember the COMET team used to land their chopper right next to the jail with their huge nets full of plants from the days raids… and then seeing the deputies going home… with foot long buds stuffed in their pockets. Always a lot of "volunteers" to wash cars from us those weeks.
            Most of the good stuff from here in The Emerald Triangle (Mendocino, Humboldt and Trinity Counties) still goes away but there are more people growing indoors everywhere these day.

    2. GOPCrusher

      Which is why marijuana is not fully legal in California, thus providing the momentum to end the prohibition of it across the United States.
      I guess we have become a "Every man for himself" society.

  4. Callyson

    Willie Nelson is going to die before he sees it happen
    I wouldn't be so pessimistic…until Wonkette's story about his endorsement of (who was that guy again?), I was under the impression Willie was already dead. He may end up being one of those potheads who lives to a ripe old age, due to the painkilling effects of his drug of choice.
    Still, if I were Dennis I would not leave the wife alone with him…

  5. pinkocommi

    Willie, you have done nothing to apologize for. But I am still waiting for an apology from the millions of Americans who subjected us to W. for 8 fucking years.

  6. Barb

    "What do you mean you found an endorsement of Gary Johnson in my pocket?" "These aren't even my pants"

  7. chicken_thief

    Geez, Willie, way to kick the fucking legs out from under Johnson's embryotic campaign. "They both have said they support legal pot.” will go over like a pregnant pole vaulter with the rabid Right.

    1. Gopherit

      Leave no political fetus behind. I think this might be the first time the Right will be pro abortion.

  8. SorosBot

    He endorsed Johnson after playing his radio commercials in a loop while watching The Wizard of Oz, and it was like, whoa man, everything all syncs up and shit.

  9. Gopherit

    Face it Johnson. You have no chance, you can't out rightard Newt and the rest. You can't out-crazy libertarian Ron Paul……you, my friend, have become the american center. I think I am going to be sick.

  10. horsedreamer_1

    If they smoke Willie's remains, will that make Method Man a gypsy, or a country artist?

    1. iburl

      Method Man will like smokey old pool rooms and clear mountain mornings, Little warm puppies and children and girls of the night.

  11. mumbly_joe

    Normally I scoff at single-issue voters as morons who are willing to let the rest of the world go to hell, as long as they have their bag of weed or whatever, but… actually, never mind that. Still pretty sure I feel that way.

    I mean, Willie's old and comfortable and has a lifetime of good deeds behind him, so I can kinda understand him deciding to go single-issue on the only thing he needs to worry about, but, no, seriously, just shut the fuck up. As much as I love to smoke a bowl every now and then, and think it is absolutely heinous how many people of color end up in jail for weed busts relative to the sort of rich suburban white kids I went to high school with who smoked up, like, perpetually… no. There are way too many things that matter way, way more right now.

  12. DahBoner

    "Willie Nelson is an hybrid between Vietnamese Black and Highland Nepalese, with a sweet lemongrassy flavor, a good resistance to mould and a friendly, soaring high."

    But not so good to do your income taxes on…

  13. MinAgain

    Sing with me!

    I'm a little teapot, short and strong.
    Here is my roach clip, here is my bong.

  14. NadePaulKuciGravMcKi

    Gary Johnson, one more ringer to damage Dr Ron?
    thanks Willie and all of operation unmask

  15. ttommyunger

    Thank God Willie woke up long enough to chime in. I was at a complete loss how to vote until I heard from the undisputed master of…..wha? Who? What was I saying? Oh fuck it, light me up, bro.

  16. hagajim

    Willie: Sorry 'bout that folks, I was higher than fuck when I endorsed this guy nobody's ever heard of….kind of like all of the GOP candidates.

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