Mitt Romney Angry Obama Pushed His Best Friend Israel On the Ground

• Uh oh! Yesterday, when Mitt Romney wasn't around to protect the defenseless Zionist nation, world bully Barack Obama beat it to a bloody pulp, saying in a speech that an Israel-Palestine peace deal should start with restoring the borders prior to the 1967 Arab-Israeli war and Israel should stop occupying territories they didn't hold before then. Yeah, well, Mitt Romney is back now, and he challenges mean ol' Obama to a fistfight. "President Obama has thrown Israel under the bus. He has disrespected Israel and undermined its ability to negotiate peace." ISRAEL IS A PERFECT ANGEL WHO CAN DO NO WRONG, BRO. And now you're going to PAY for suggesting they might try to achieve peace. [ The Hill ]

• Newt Gingrich now says he wasn't talking about Paul Ryan at all when he talked about "right-wing social engineering" on Meet the Press . Sure thing! (Jesus Christ, Paul Ryan, show some mercy! WHAT DOES NEWT HAVE TO DO TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU? Buy you one of those expensive baskets of cheeses and meat sausage?) [ Atlantic ]

• Here is an amusing story about normal teens and their crazy rapture parents. Except sometimes it's not so amusing. "I don’t really have any motivation to try to figure out what I want to do anymore, because my main support line, my parents, don’t care." Oh jeez. Can we all send these kids a nice gift card to a local mall? [ NYT ]