HARRIET MIERS  3:15 pm May 19, 2011

I’ve Got Friends In Jihad Places

by Jack Stuef

Ahh! Scary ghost!Here’s some hott Harriet Miers news from the nation’s top Harriet Miers blog: She’s now working as a lobbyist for Pakistan! Cool! Dealing with terrorist-coddlers like Pakistani officials is pretty much just as bad as working with Antonin Scalia, so President Obama should totally appoint her to the Supreme Court again. Just look at Pakistan getting off the hook for abetting Osama bin Laden. She’s earned it!

She is registered lobbyist for the Islamic Republic of Pakistan, Pakistan People’s Party and Pakistan President and co-chair of the PPP Asif Ali Zardari. Miers even reps Zardari’s kids, according to her Justice Dept. filing.

She began working for Pakistan, a $75K a month account for LLS, in August 2008 during the wind-down of Bush II’s second term.

Is there some way we could also implicate her in this funny old Cindy Sheehan sex scandal we came across? That would be great. Retro Day!

Welcome Back, Harriet Miers, Pakistan Lobbyist [O'Dwyer's]

 
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{ 128 comments }

nounverb911 May 19, 2011 at 3:19 pm

Where's Miers' burqa certificate?

Clancy_Pants May 19, 2011 at 3:25 pm

A face made for a burqa!

DerrickWildcat May 19, 2011 at 3:20 pm

She can't even spell her own name right.

ManchuCandidate May 19, 2011 at 3:21 pm

It's not like she was ever going to be a Supreme (the group or the court.) Give her some credit, she's leveraged her experience as a near useless toady for corrupt asshats with messiah complexes into a career (and she's fucking up another nation, not US America.)

Lascauxcaveman May 19, 2011 at 3:41 pm

$75K/month is pretty good scratch for a retired secretary. Maybe I'm in the wrong biz?

Supreme court justice makes about $18k. But they do have a pretty generous vacation schedule.

Bonzos_Bed_Time May 19, 2011 at 4:36 pm

Although the results of her actions may indeed have an impact on how effed up our nation gets. Oops, that was referring to the Bush admin, Retro Day!

OneDollarJuana May 19, 2011 at 5:29 pm

I'm sensing another mission for the Seals.

GOPCrusher May 19, 2011 at 5:36 pm

I actually feel kind of sorry for Pakistan.

tessiee May 19, 2011 at 11:07 pm

"It's not like she was ever going to be a Supreme (the group or the court.) "

Although at least if she were in the group, she'd have an excuse for the eyeliner.

arihaya May 19, 2011 at 3:21 pm

can we send Bush as ambassador to Pakistan ?

they seem to be bloodthirsty for American blood now

nounverb911 May 19, 2011 at 3:22 pm

I'd rather send Bush to Chad.

tessiee May 19, 2011 at 11:08 pm

I asked Chad, and he told me he doesn't want him either.

Negropolis May 20, 2011 at 12:52 am

I overhead Chad saying that he wouldn't fuck Bush with The Terminator's dick.

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 19, 2011 at 3:41 pm

I think it would be best to send Bush to Iraq, so he can explain to them why their country is still in pieces. That, or send him as Ambassador to Rick Perry's Texas. He would probably think it is a a big honor.

horsedreamer_1 May 19, 2011 at 3:46 pm

That would be cool. W. loves their souffles.

facehead May 19, 2011 at 3:22 pm

"She is registered lobbyist for the Islamic Republic of Pakistan, Pakistan People’s Party and Pakistan President and co-chair of the PPP Asif Ali Zardari."

Previously she was a lobbyist for Peter Piper, lobbying fiercely for pickle and pepper subsidies.

axmxz May 19, 2011 at 3:30 pm

Win.

widestanceroman May 19, 2011 at 3:32 pm

Say it, don't spray it.

Extemporanus May 19, 2011 at 3:38 pm

You put the "p" in "p-ness", pardner.

tessiee May 19, 2011 at 11:09 pm

"Pakistan People’s Party"

Which actually put her in the bad graces of the Popular Front of Pakistan AND the Pakistani People's Front.

(splitter)

Gopherit May 19, 2011 at 3:23 pm

She was banging George for a few years, so anything is possible.

zhubajie May 19, 2011 at 5:36 pm

I was hoping he was having triple-headers with Laura, Condi and Ms. Chao from Commerce. Why not Miers as well?

axmxz May 19, 2011 at 3:23 pm

Why not skip the middle man and just go on retainer to Al Qaeda?

skoalrebel May 19, 2011 at 3:24 pm

One of the greeters at Wal-Mart is named Harriet and looks a lot like Harriet Meyers. I wonder if they're related. Y'know, since they have the same name and all.

jus_wonderin May 19, 2011 at 3:24 pm

75K a month! Sew that shit together and cover that behaggled face.

elviouslyqueer May 19, 2011 at 3:36 pm

Separated by birth? You decide!

jus_wonderin May 19, 2011 at 3:40 pm

Ah, Indiana Jones and the Face Melting Pyres of Miers.

Extemporanus May 19, 2011 at 3:45 pm

Or separated at death?

I can't decide!

Clancy_Pants May 19, 2011 at 3:25 pm

I've missed the old girl. Good for her! Now quick, where did leave her burqa?

SorosBot May 19, 2011 at 3:27 pm

That is not a face I want to associate with the word sex; thanks for re-nauseating us their Jack. What's next, a Barbara Walters sex scandal?

baconzgood May 19, 2011 at 3:40 pm

(shudder)

b[redact]opple May 19, 2011 at 3:43 pm

Here's something that's actually true: Barbara Walters used to let Henry Kissinger pork her.

SorosBot May 19, 2011 at 4:09 pm

You want to make it impossible for anyone here to get hard / wet again, don't you?

V572..whatever May 19, 2011 at 4:18 pm

Evil War Dwarf Hank K also used to boink this babe, if contemporaneous rumors are to be believed. [just barely safe for work]

SudsMcKenzie May 19, 2011 at 3:28 pm

Nice, can we throw a Burka on her now?

[edit] wow, Everyone immediately went to Burka

genxr May 19, 2011 at 3:51 pm

Never go full burka!

flamingpdog May 19, 2011 at 9:39 pm

Or Burkaley, California.

Negropolis May 20, 2011 at 12:55 am

Or Delta Burqa.

horsedreamer_1 May 19, 2011 at 3:28 pm

I'd rather Harriet on SCOTUS than Scalito.

jus_wonderin May 19, 2011 at 3:33 pm

All of that…sounds like it requires antibiotics.

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 19, 2011 at 3:43 pm

There is nothing worse than Scalito on your SCOTUS, although Clarence on your Thomas is pretty bad.

horsedreamer_1 May 19, 2011 at 3:47 pm

I went to Dr. Breyer & he told me I have Roberts's Disease.

WriteyWriterton May 19, 2011 at 5:37 pm

[spit-take]

Negropolis May 20, 2011 at 12:56 am

I kind of like a Ruth Bader on my Ginsburg, though.

tessiee May 19, 2011 at 11:13 pm

"I'd rather Harriet on SCOTUS than Scalito. "

Something tells me that Harriet on SCOTUS would be followed in short order by Thomas on Harriet.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 20, 2011 at 3:11 am

She'd certainly be wise to drink her Coke in private.

BloviateMe May 19, 2011 at 3:30 pm

How exactly does one "lobby" for these things?

Scream "Pakistan's the bee's knees" over and over to anybody that will listen?

I don't get it.

Chillwaver May 19, 2011 at 3:30 pm

Holy shit…Dirty Harrriet looks like a neocon Hillary!

KeepFnThatChicken May 19, 2011 at 3:35 pm

I was just about to say that. More like, "I wonder if 'the boys' gang-bang her when they want to work off a Hillary Hate Fuck."

Lascauxcaveman May 19, 2011 at 3:50 pm

I was thinking Margaret Thatcher, with better teeth (probably).

Negropolis May 20, 2011 at 12:57 am

No, looks like Hillary if she'd have been hit by a mac truck.

Extemporanus May 19, 2011 at 3:32 pm

"In selecting a lobbyist, I've sought to find an American of grace, judgment and unwavering devotion to the Constitution and laws of your country. Harriet Miers is just such a person," Zardari said. "I've known Harriet for more than a decade. I know her heart. I know her character. I know her safe word."

Dudleydidwrong May 19, 2011 at 5:40 pm

"I know she fucks like a demented rabbit."

Steverino247 May 19, 2011 at 6:04 pm

Green balloons?

widestanceroman May 19, 2011 at 3:33 pm

She always looks like she just got duped by the old charcoal on the binoculars trick.

jus_wonderin May 19, 2011 at 4:00 pm

That, or either her makeup boi is a raccoon.

littlebigdaddy May 19, 2011 at 4:27 pm

I'm thinking a late Hellenistic courtesan past her prime. Really, that sort of eye makeup hasn't been in for several millennia.

Negropolis May 20, 2011 at 12:57 am

I'm laughing so hard I'm having lung spasms.

The visual (a raccoon applying makeup) is a killer.

jus_wonderin May 20, 2011 at 5:54 am

Now ya got me laughing. I didn't see the visual till you mentioned it.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 20, 2011 at 3:08 am

I think she's going for the Liz-Taylor-as-Cleopatra look. And missing. Badly. (It's kohl, Harriet … not coal.)

SayItWithWookies May 19, 2011 at 3:34 pm

It's a natural fit, since Pakistan is just like Texas — a gun-and-drug-runner's wet dream, full of religious fanatics and maintaining a fiercely independent image while suckling at Uncle Sam's teat. Of course, Texas still has the scourge of socialist public schools that Pakistan managed to get rid of, but they'll catch up.

WriteyWriterton May 19, 2011 at 5:38 pm

They hate Indians in Texas, too.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 20, 2011 at 3:05 am

Judging from the latest state budget, Texas will pretty much match Pakistan on the public school front next year. They might even follow Arizona's lead, and give tax rebates for attending Xtian madrassas.

baconzgood May 19, 2011 at 3:35 pm

$75,000 a month. I could do that job. Here let me give it a shot (a-hem)

PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLLLLLLLLLLLEASE DON'T BOMB PAKISTAN!!!!!

Fuckin' nailed it!!!!

Chillwaver May 19, 2011 at 3:40 pm

Or..
."THESE ARE NOT THE BIN LADENS YOU ARE LOOKING FOR"

baconzgood May 19, 2011 at 3:43 pm

That's worth 10K

Guppy06 May 19, 2011 at 4:19 pm

We need more aid to pay for the infrastructure we can't afford thanks to our nuclear program!

jus_wonderin May 19, 2011 at 4:27 pm

Our job is really not complete until we give the a bridge to nowhere. Oh, and bomb a few weddings.

tessiee May 19, 2011 at 11:16 pm

"$75,000 a month. I could do that job."

I could probably DO that job, but I'm pretty sure I couldn't get it.
And by "get it", I mean "fellate Bush".

El Pinche May 19, 2011 at 3:36 pm

It's 2004 all over again ! I'll have to start calling Republicans Rethuglicans and reopen my suicidegirls account .

horsedreamer_1 May 19, 2011 at 3:39 pm

What's hard to believe is SuicideGirls is approaching its eleventh year of existence. Time flies.

El Pinche May 19, 2011 at 5:02 pm

I know, right? But yet some of the senior SGs' boobies are as perky as they were in 2004.

horsedreamer_1 May 19, 2011 at 10:24 pm

It is interesting to see the ones who have stuck with it, not gone into the archive after finishing college, or getting married, or whatever have you. A number of good ones among that, including one from the DC area. (& being hip to the scene, potential successor to Arielle?)

HistoriCat May 19, 2011 at 11:28 pm

"potential successor to Arielle" – like there's a chance of that. Wonkette seems to be in an estrogen free-fall. Pretty soon it will just be Wonk.

OneYieldRegular May 19, 2011 at 3:36 pm

Fer nice. May she be blessed with a personal call from Pam Geller and friends.

fuflans May 19, 2011 at 3:38 pm

and today's a day i could have gone without mention of 'cindy sheehan' and – well, anything really.

can't we have something pretty from the archives? kitty? megs mccain? scott brown? butterstick in younger days?

KeepFnThatChicken May 19, 2011 at 3:40 pm

So this Pakistani Pizza Party… are they good guys or bad guys? Don't make me Google. I just want to assume the worst, because Dubya is in the unrelated photo.

prommie May 19, 2011 at 3:45 pm

We'd be better off with some benign second-rate hacks on the court, than we are with evil jesuitical sophist geniuses like the current Roman Catholic trio (though truth be told, Roberts is no genius, its those two dagos what are scary).

SorosBot May 19, 2011 at 4:08 pm

Hell, Alito is so scary he even makes Scalia seem human by comparison.

prommie May 19, 2011 at 3:47 pm

If a dude fucks Cindy Sheehan, does that make him gay? Or does it make him a bestiality enthusiast? She reminds me of an old catcher's mitt.

ifthethunderdontgetya May 19, 2011 at 4:05 pm

Yeah!!!

How dare that hag complain about her son getting killed in some b.s. war for oil and Israel.

And then growing old and unfuckable for the online fuckability raters, to boot?

Simply unforgivable.
~

Worthly[♬♪♬♪♫♪♬]Skum May 19, 2011 at 3:47 pm

Serves Pakistan right!

Texan_Bulldog May 19, 2011 at 3:47 pm

I'm pretty sure I saw her at the library the other day.

So who else are we going to drag out of the 90s dust bin? Albert Gonzales? Mike "Heckuva Job" Brown? Crap…what's Carrot Top doing these days?

GOPCrusher May 19, 2011 at 5:47 pm

Steroids

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 19, 2011 at 3:48 pm

So, if we look at this through Conservative eyes, clearly this means that Bush and Cheney both knew where Bin Laden was all along, and used Meyers to help hide him in Pakistan, thinking that no one would find him there among all the other brown people. In the end, this proves that Bush was really born in Mexico, after his Dad and Mom had a drunk fight/love making session, and, of course, that Dick Cheney is master of Hell.

No wonder the world is ending this weekend. Especially through conservative eyes, everyone is out to get you…,

Wait, are Conservatives still doing a ton of cocaine. How Retro of them.

CivicHoliday May 19, 2011 at 3:49 pm

Clarence Thomas is SOOO pissed right now. If only he hadn't gotten stuck with this pain-in-the-ass Supreme Court gig, he'd be making hella benjamins as Satan's PR director.

genxr May 19, 2011 at 3:53 pm

No wonder Pakistan is so angry with us.

Weenus299 May 19, 2011 at 3:55 pm

"Best president (of Pakistan) Ever!"

Ruhe May 19, 2011 at 3:57 pm

Harriet's standard pitch-intro when she meets with congresspeople: "Good morning Senator/Representative Blah-Blah. I've got good news and bad news from Pakistan. The bad news is that we still don't know where the terrorists are. The good news is that we are fairly certain that we know where our nuclear weapons are."

proudgrampa May 19, 2011 at 3:57 pm

These people have no fucking shame.

FlownOver May 19, 2011 at 4:01 pm

Tip for Ol' Dub:

When you're standing behind someone reading from a TelePrompter, try not to move your lips along with her remarks.

Fare la Volpe May 19, 2011 at 4:02 pm

What's a Mormon vampire writer doing with Pakistanis? They're totally Team Jacob.

BTWBFDIMHO May 19, 2011 at 4:04 pm

Then, expect Helen Thomas to lobby for India.

mavenmaven May 19, 2011 at 4:06 pm

The Republicans- making America safe for Bribery and Corruption again!

BZ1 May 19, 2011 at 4:06 pm

Aren't those the coldest, deadest eyes you've ever seen…

SayItWithWookies May 19, 2011 at 4:27 pm

Those are eyes? I just thought I was seeing straight through to the back of her head.

tessiee May 19, 2011 at 11:19 pm

Both pairs of eyes in that picture, actually.

littlebigdaddy May 19, 2011 at 4:15 pm

I always forget–what does the Egyptian goddess Harriet Myers represent? Is it death by intestinal distress? That's what I'm thinking.

tessiee May 19, 2011 at 11:20 pm

I think it's the one with the human body and head of a jackal.

An_Outhouse May 19, 2011 at 4:20 pm

Considering her tenure in the Bush administration, she has plenty of experience working for terrorists.

V572..whatever May 19, 2011 at 4:21 pm

The only plausible explanation for Chimpy nominating Miers to the court was that Berto was in W's office telling him they needed to pick somebody, the door was open, and Harriet walked by. "Hey, Harriet, you real busy right now?"

carlgt1 May 19, 2011 at 4:35 pm

Repugs have no shame. I'm sure somehow they can justify how "Christian" it is that they're always lobbying for the Muslin scapegoats….

pinkocommi May 19, 2011 at 4:37 pm

She may be getting paid $75K a month, but she'll always be a two-bit whore to me.

ifthethunderdontgetya May 19, 2011 at 4:41 pm

Damn, prommie. I was about to apologize for bitchin' you out for something that's just a personal peeve of mine (stupid woman, how dare you get old and ugly – har har biotch!), and then you type this:

She sure was the darling of the hand-wringing wing of the libtards, though.

WTF is this supposed to mean? People who objected to our b.s. war on Iraq to the extent that they actually got off their lazy asses and stood up are "libtards"?

Right now, I'm thinking prommie doesn't have the standing to fling a 'tard' charge.
~

prommie May 19, 2011 at 5:16 pm

No, "libtard" just means appallingly sincere, insufficiently cynical liberal, as viewed from my persona as a foul-mouthed, drunken, crusty, hyper-cynical old horndog pervy lawyer.

doloras May 19, 2011 at 8:01 pm

It's interesting that you don't actually seem to feel the need to explain why you have a hate-on for Cindy, or on what way she's "stupid". Perhaps you've been talking to people who only agree with you for too long.

DemonicRage May 19, 2011 at 4:45 pm

Only in Pakistan would that I am a sexy racoon eyeliner be seen as professional warpaint.

Ducksworthy May 19, 2011 at 4:48 pm

I dunno. She did a good job for Bin Laden there for awhile, but that really didn't turn out all that well for him.

anniegetyerfun May 19, 2011 at 4:52 pm

How can I get in on some of this sweet, sweet lobbying action? I will happily represent horrible, horrible people for 75K per month. I have, like, zero scruples.

smitallica May 19, 2011 at 5:12 pm

My god. Even now, every single time I see Bush's imbecile face, I simply can't believe he actually happened.

GOPCrusher May 19, 2011 at 5:49 pm

Kind of makes me want to find Al Gore and kick him in the nuts.

tessiee May 19, 2011 at 11:21 pm

Ralph Nader, too.

flamingpdog May 19, 2011 at 9:48 pm

He came, he saw, he conked out.

mrblifil May 19, 2011 at 5:23 pm

Lobbying for bin Laden's protectors in Pakistan is a heckuva patriotic act!

smitallica May 19, 2011 at 5:23 pm

So let's see if I have this right:
Harriet Miers, close personal friend of W., the President who did business with bin Laden's family and famously couldn't find bin Laden even though he was living in a giant compound in Pakistan, is a highly paid lobbyist for the Pakistanis, who were shielding bin Laden from us the whole time?

Nah, I'm sure there's nothing fishy there.

GOPCrusher May 19, 2011 at 5:45 pm

I thought that was James Carville?

AJW@[redacted] May 19, 2011 at 7:05 pm

Sure would be a shame if they went all Benazir Bhutto on her ass…

VinnyThePooh May 19, 2011 at 8:09 pm

Wow. Looks like they forgot to tell her to duck those flying shoes.

lulzmonger May 19, 2011 at 10:44 pm

More like HARRIET QUAGMIERS amirite?

tessiee May 19, 2011 at 11:21 pm

Giggity?

seppdecker May 19, 2011 at 10:53 pm

She couldn't catch bin Laden when she worked for us. Seems like a natural hire for Pakistan.

tessiee May 19, 2011 at 11:06 pm

Sheesh!
Dial back on the black eyeliner at high noon, Vampira!
How the hell do you appear in a photo with Bush and have eyes that look *worse* than his?

Negropolis May 20, 2011 at 1:05 am

Haters gonna hate. The whore is just doing what whores do best. Don't hate the player, hate the game. Actually, you can hate both if you'd like, 'cause I know I sure do.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 20, 2011 at 2:55 am

Who installed her eyes upside-down? That's a factory defect.

easynewz May 20, 2011 at 4:29 am

"Heck of a job, brown-nose."

axmxz May 19, 2011 at 3:25 pm

I think he is looking at one of those 3D pictures and trying to find the sailboat.

widestanceroman May 19, 2011 at 3:40 pm

Every parent knows that look–someone needs a changing.

Steverino247 May 19, 2011 at 6:01 pm

No shit! I've seen brighter looks on pithed frogs in Biology class!

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