GOSSIP ROUNDUP  12:18 pm May 19, 2011

Gossip Roundup: Osama-Free Tuna

by Jack Stuef

Inside the Beltway: Lady with boobs is more or less taking part in boob competition. [WT]
Reliable Source: Rahm Emanuel is getting his house back from those dirt-faced squatters who tried to stop him from checking into the city on Foursquare. [WP]
Heard on the Hill: Rep. Bruce Braley is trying to give people alcohol poisoning for charity, but we are not a “subscriber” to read the rest. (What is this publication?) [Roll Call]
Rush & Molloy: This doesn’t exist anymore.
Yeas & Nays: This still exists? Okay! Apparently John McCain ate some tuna and “shared” a meal with a man. Senators: they’re just like gay us! [Washington Examiner]
Under the Dome: This does not exist.

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 101 comments }

ifthethunderdontgetya May 19, 2011 at 12:22 pm

You know who else had Retro Day?
~

Chillwaver May 19, 2011 at 12:27 pm

Republicans?

Terry May 19, 2011 at 12:31 pm

They have retro lives….all the way back to the mid 1800's

Chillwaver May 19, 2011 at 12:37 pm

Every day is "Retro Day" when you are a Republican. I so wish they would shut up about Ronnie Raygun already…

poncho_pilot May 19, 2011 at 12:48 pm

it's funny that even as a child in the '80s–granted there was some familial influence–i didn't like Reagan. or Bush. or Oliver North. or Clarence Thomas. i just kinda knew they were all asshats.

Pres[ $ rm -r * ] May 19, 2011 at 12:42 pm

Confederate reenactors?

Boredw/Gravitas May 19, 2011 at 12:52 pm

Everyone's high school — every damn year?

Negropolis May 20, 2011 at 1:39 am

My high school during Spirit Week, when all of the white kids would point and enthusiastically and well-intentionedly yelled "you should wear and afro!"?

sezme May 19, 2011 at 12:22 pm

This comment does not yet exist.

ManchuCandidate May 19, 2011 at 12:22 pm

GOPer lady is rather eye popping. Is she pro abstinence (Anal!)??

baconzgood May 19, 2011 at 12:36 pm

Fap-tastic!

horsedreamer_1 May 19, 2011 at 12:47 pm

If she wants to have an office romance, she does.

A butt's a butt. I mean, otherwise, why do you think Larry Craig & Chief Justice Roberts don't have any naturally-born children?

Guppy06 May 19, 2011 at 12:52 pm

The last time the commentariat found a Republican woman visually attractive, she ran for vice president.

SorosBot May 19, 2011 at 12:58 pm

And it wasn't just any commentariat, but Ken Layne himself.

Guppy06 May 19, 2011 at 1:21 pm

And he's been drinking ever since! Coincidence?

flamingpdog May 19, 2011 at 1:39 pm

"But does Mr. Ross support her quest?"
But does Mr. Ross support her chest?
/corrected

freakishlywrong May 19, 2011 at 12:23 pm

You know who else phoned it in?

nounverb911 May 19, 2011 at 12:24 pm

George Bush?

baconzgood May 19, 2011 at 12:24 pm

The Jerky Boys?

SexySmurf May 19, 2011 at 12:30 pm

Who ever wrote the screenplay for Scream 4?

nounverb911 May 19, 2011 at 12:31 pm

Alan Greenspan?

Terry May 19, 2011 at 12:32 pm

Who ever wrote the book Atlas Shrugged?

elviouslyqueer May 19, 2011 at 12:31 pm

All of them, Katie.

undeterredbyreality May 19, 2011 at 12:35 pm

Alexander Graham Bell?

WriteyWriterton May 19, 2011 at 4:34 pm

Beat me by hours. HOURS!

TanzbodenKoenig May 19, 2011 at 12:37 pm

me?

SorosBot May 19, 2011 at 12:39 pm

Suzanne Somers?

chicken_thief May 19, 2011 at 12:42 pm

Obama to Osama? No, wait, that message was delivered personally….

SayItWithWookies May 19, 2011 at 12:43 pm

Someone whose name would be a mildly funny yet quirky reference?

WriteyWriterton May 19, 2011 at 4:34 pm

Someone who makes self-referential comments?

Pres[ $ rm -r * ] May 19, 2011 at 12:43 pm

Howard Stern since about 2008?

chicken_thief May 19, 2011 at 12:44 pm

Newt dumping his second wife? She wasn't in the hospital or anything, was she?

poncho_pilot May 19, 2011 at 12:53 pm

Bob Newhart?

Boredw/Gravitas May 19, 2011 at 12:56 pm

All of US America's former customer service call centers now in India?

freakishlywrong May 19, 2011 at 1:02 pm

Fellow Wonkateers. Foreplay dictates that if you're going to respond to a girl, you should at least pee on her first. Haaaruurumph!

widestanceroman May 19, 2011 at 1:03 pm

Ginny Thomas?

horsedreamer_1 May 19, 2011 at 1:18 pm

E.T.?

flamingpdog May 19, 2011 at 1:49 pm

Lily Tomlin?

WriteyWriterton May 19, 2011 at 4:33 pm

A. G. Bell?

Negropolis May 20, 2011 at 1:41 am

Ma' Bell?

nounverb911 May 19, 2011 at 12:23 pm

Under The Dome? Was that about Mitt's hair?

loulouroo May 19, 2011 at 12:44 pm

…or Callista's?

user-of-owls May 19, 2011 at 12:23 pm

This post has now officially jumped the tuna.

baconzgood May 19, 2011 at 12:24 pm

There seems to be a boob theme today…..Keep up the good work!

memzilla May 19, 2011 at 12:25 pm

C'mon, Jack, you left out the rogue Secret Service Tweet.

nounverb911 May 19, 2011 at 12:26 pm

Today we are all boobys.

freakishlywrong May 19, 2011 at 12:31 pm

And assfuckers.

Guppy06 May 19, 2011 at 12:55 pm

I prefer tufted titmouses.

Maman May 19, 2011 at 12:27 pm

After totally trying to fuck with Rahm and LOST, the renter has decided to beat a hasty retreat. Vaya con Dios, dude… make sure you park legally all the freaking time!

slithytoves May 19, 2011 at 12:27 pm

I don't like this minimalist approach – it's too Republican: short on everything.

flamingpdog May 19, 2011 at 1:50 pm

Michael Dukakis was short on everything.

OC_Surf_Serf May 19, 2011 at 12:29 pm

You mean all ladies aren't competing in a boob contest everyday?

undeterredbyreality May 19, 2011 at 12:36 pm

Today, we are all boob-contest-competing-ladies.

qwerty42 May 19, 2011 at 12:30 pm

AMC used to provide a translation of The Note for those who could not endure its insufferably smug tone.

V572..whatever May 19, 2011 at 12:45 pm

Do we miss The Note? Boy not much. Remember when Halperin said the 2004 election was "John Kerry's to win"? That was pretty much the end of its credibility, which is why he shows up on the political talk shows all the time.

Mahousu May 19, 2011 at 12:48 pm

The Note does not exist.

(I don't know if that's actually true, but I'm not about to check.)

qwerty42 May 19, 2011 at 1:01 pm

Actually, it does: http://blogs.abcnews.com/thenote/
but it isn't the same without Halperin. His dad was on Nixon's Enemies List. And him? …

freakishlywrong May 19, 2011 at 12:32 pm

Could that Yeas and Nays be any more of an utter, inane waste of bandwidth? Christ, who gives a fuck?

Ken Cuccinelli May 19, 2011 at 12:36 pm

I want to punch those two vacuous bimbos every time I see that little photo thumbnail of them.

fartknocker May 19, 2011 at 1:07 pm

A – fucking – men. I'm sure those two twats enjoys spending hours babbling about chiffons, jewelery and the Real Housewives of Whatdafuck.

Cat_Damon May 19, 2011 at 12:34 pm

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON ON WONKETTE TODAY I JUST WANT TO SEE STORIES ABOUT MUSLINS AND TRUCKNUTZ AND HOVEROUNDS

T.

WhatTheHeck May 19, 2011 at 12:41 pm

Wonkette is having a silicone day. You know, a filler for things of lesser substance.

Pres[ $ rm -r * ] May 19, 2011 at 12:44 pm

Give Jack a break. He's preparing for the Rapture in just 48 hours.

chicken_thief May 19, 2011 at 12:54 pm

Wherez Ma Grizz and the Donald when you need them? Also.

mavenmaven May 19, 2011 at 12:37 pm

Apparently boobz are out and tight butts are in for Royalists: http://www.stylelist.com/2011/05/17/pippa-middlet

Blendergoathead May 19, 2011 at 12:38 pm

Can someone travel back in time enough to choke the shithead who is allowing some ferriner's translation of Obama's speech to be heard in the background of the live feed? It's Poltergeist shit, and it's creeping me out. Foreignly.

fuflans May 19, 2011 at 1:10 pm

listening on radio, i was wondering what the hell that was and if french aliens were involved.

Sophist[Kochblocker] May 19, 2011 at 12:38 pm

Perianne Boring,

Who is this, Tim Pawlenty's running mate?

Pawlenty/Boring 2012?

user-of-owls May 19, 2011 at 1:12 pm

You got it backwards. And you should replace / with a hyphen.

Sophist[Kochblocker] May 19, 2011 at 1:16 pm

Ahem.

Pawlenty/Boring 2012.

WriteyWriterton May 19, 2011 at 4:37 pm

Smoked it.

SayItWithWookies May 19, 2011 at 12:40 pm

What the hell's a tuna cone? And if it's something that Wendy O. Williams used to wear onstage, I retract my request for knowledge.

(And yes, I know she's dead — just keeping it retro.)

mavenmaven May 19, 2011 at 1:45 pm

Damn, I get this joke. We're old :(
On the other hand, today's youth won't see Miley Cyrus smashing any TVs anytime soon.

SorosBot May 19, 2011 at 12:41 pm

Oh man, I miss all those old dead news sites. Oh wait, no I don't, didn't even notice they were dead because I didn't care.

PabaBritannica May 19, 2011 at 12:45 pm

This day…it's amazing…ly bad.

Bring back Wag the Bog. Riley's not funny anymore at his new blog. Just get a fake Intern Riley. Farm it out to India or whatever.

worrytron May 19, 2011 at 12:47 pm

Or just bring back more than 3 posts a day.

horsedreamer_1 May 19, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Raji Rajaman?

LetUsBray May 19, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Or at least some people who are more about teh funny and less about teh depressing.

worrytron May 19, 2011 at 12:54 pm

Ha i know! It reminds me of that old Bill Hicks routine about CNN. They keep talking about how the world is ending, famine and flood and whatnot, and i go outside and just hear the crickets. I dunno. Slow news year maybe.

DustBowlBlues May 19, 2011 at 1:07 pm

Sorry about your day.

V572..whatever May 19, 2011 at 12:47 pm

A sure sign that a cultural phenomenon has gone stale/jumped the shark, etc: retrospectives.

horsedreamer_1 May 19, 2011 at 12:49 pm

Also: if gays are eating tuna while sharing meals with men, they're doing the gay wrong.

James Michael Curley May 19, 2011 at 1:00 pm

I … uhm … never mind.

chicken_thief May 19, 2011 at 1:02 pm

or that muzlin pretender in chief in the White House!!!!!

poncho_pilot May 19, 2011 at 1:08 pm

well, when Zuul asked what form it should take, i thought of a middle aged Kenyan Muslin. something harmless from my childhood. who knew?

DustBowlBlues May 19, 2011 at 1:04 pm

Is anyone else watching the speech? No?

Everyone with a brain, especially our president, who is not only brilliant but understands the way the world works in the 21st. Century ("Dreams From My Father" convinced me of that) knows that the only hope for stability in the middle east is the two state solution. They know the Palestinians have a reason to be pissed, since some people showed up with a several thousand year old, deed to their land that God didn't even bother notarizing, and that we are solo in the world in our blind, unconditional support of anything the most conservative Jewish rabbi farts out, and that the borders should be put back to where they were before the Israeli Boomers (homesteaders who kept moving into Indian territory until the feds just fucking gave it to them) moved in.

Everyone with a brain knows that. And we are the people who refer to Israeli and Israelis as that, rather than Jewish State and Jews because we know the answer to this mess isn't a religious one.

Yeah, we all know it, but no one's going to say that. Our two political parties compete with each other for who can be the most rah-rah-Jewish State booster because of political contributions and power. And we all know that if we say the truth, we are going to be called anti-semetic and compared to Hitler.

Still, we all know it, don't we?

flamingpdog May 19, 2011 at 2:01 pm

Are you posting on the correct blog, Dust? Soundz too reasoned, especially for the day before the day before the Fapture.

DustBowlBlues May 19, 2011 at 2:13 pm

Part of my DustBowl survival plan is to use the wonket to say truthful shit I wouldn't dare mention anywhere else.

WriteyWriterton May 19, 2011 at 4:40 pm

Helluva survival plan, that. I agree with a two-state solution, which should be Alabama and Mississippi – move out all the current occupant-morans, and move in the Palestinians. The states' average IQs would soar, and you could get decent falafel south of the Chicago Loop.

DaRooster May 19, 2011 at 1:04 pm

"The event is 6-9 p.m…."

It's a Happy Hour… duh… not a Happy 3 Hours… typical beauty contestant…

Billmatic May 19, 2011 at 1:06 pm

Chicks that look like Monica Lewinsky need that last skill, chicks as fine as Boring tend to just move up in the world just on the barest possibility of seeing her naked.

SudsMcKenzie May 19, 2011 at 1:06 pm

Whats going on?, I was doing my morning Googling of "boobies" and I wound up here.

DaRooster May 19, 2011 at 1:12 pm

"…Woody Harrelson was spotted sitting at a table by himself…"

Woo hoo… awesome "news" everywhere today…

fuflans May 19, 2011 at 1:13 pm

john mccain: still exists.

widestanceroman May 19, 2011 at 1:14 pm

Is this what's known as a posticle? If not, I get credit for naming it.

BZ1 May 19, 2011 at 1:50 pm

Under the heading of "People, Politics and Power" comes "Senators dine out, Harrelson at Cafe Japone"; dining out is news?

crybabyboehner May 19, 2011 at 3:40 pm

I can't wait for the double feature: "Bonin' Boring" with "Nailin' Palin" – something for the whole family!

Negropolis May 20, 2011 at 1:42 am

Every. Fuckin'. Night.

I used to watch him, because it's what I grew up on, but the minute he screwed Conan, I stopped watching and haven't been back sense. Fuck 'im.

Negropolis May 20, 2011 at 1:47 am

Nobody puts Perianne in the corner…until someone in authority commands her to go to the corner, and she politely acquiesces like a good Stepford Republican.

Beck_is_Trig May 20, 2011 at 2:23 pm

Maybe Ms. Boring got a job with Dennis Ross because him being a wingnut fundie (it's my euphamism for closeted, self-hating gay) she knows she can work in a sexual harassment-free workplace? She is a hottie to be sure, but just like Palin before grifting caused her entire body to slide into a puddle for obvious reasons, any chick who works for a simpering, wingnutty fundie douchebag willingly is probably a real tight-assed bitch…but what an ass…and boobs for that matter, amiright?

WriteyWriterton May 19, 2011 at 4:33 pm

Props to you. (They said that in the 90s, I think.)

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