- According to Real Clear Politics, which we were certain was just a dumping ground for releases by right-wing pollsters, but apparently has HUMAN or HUMAN-LIKE writers, Rick Perry is being considered for the Republican presidential nomination. “RCP has learned that political associates have begun to nose around quietly on Perry’s behalf.” Ooh! “Political associates!” (This was definitely written by a machine.) “The Perry chatter has been so discreet that nearly a dozen early-state GOP operatives and consultants contacted by RCP hadn’t heard a word about it.” That’s funny. Chatter that Rick Perry invented the bagel had been so discreet that all the GOP operatives we consulted said the same thing about that. [Real Clear Politics]
- Hillary Clinton said President Obama told her 8 years in office is “enough,” so he won’t try to take the path of his friend Hosni. Obama is young, though. Can he really afford to retire early? We don’t want to see Barry co-hosting embarrassing late-night “Big City Sliders” infomercials in a few years. [AP]
- A Catholic lady in West Palm Beach put a prayer request for Osama bin Laden in her church’s bulletin as a joke. “Four other people will be named at Mass, along with the former leader of al Qaeda.” This has made people Upset, but doesn’t having that guy in there with your sick relatives just make them look really good to God in comparison? [WPTV]
{ 217 comments }
Is the puppy wearing a cape? Because I'd vote for Perry if he had a Super Puppy.
Talk about Underdogs…
Super Puppy? Nah, needz moar sweater puppies.
Sweater puppies make everything more awesome.
I wouldn't vote for Perry if he was covered in a living coat of puppies…with kittens in the puppy-ladden pockets. Also.
He reminds me of the football coach in Dazed & Confused.
America needs attitude-adjusted priorities.
Perry as US President? Where will he succeed from?
no . as Texas president
he said that he want to secede
I can't see it. That whole secession issue didn't help Jefferson Davis in the 1868 election.
Quiet chatter. Jumbo shrimp. How do they work?
"Chatter that Rick Perry invented the bagel"
He's one of the Einstein brothers? He's certainly not Albert. We should start a schmear campaign against him now.
Norman Einstein?
It's Texas, Bubba Einstein. I love your answer!
"We should start a schmear campaign against him now."
… and… DONE.
Too late. He's got the presidency sewn up lox, stock and barrel.
"We should start a schmear campaign against him now. "
It may already be too late. Word is that he's got a lox on the nomination.
Please Lord, make it so! We in Texas would just love it if Rick ran for El Jefe or Vice El Jefe. Anything to get this tin foil hat wearing, gun slinging, twitter blogging idiot out of our state would be appreciated.
Amen.
I was working contract in Dallas in 1963…er, I mean 2000…during the Bush/Gore chad-fest and, swear to FSM, a fellow engineer (who was smart…otherwise) revealed to me: "I hope Bush wins…to get him the hell outta here…he's screwin' up Texas"
Thanks a lot "fellow engineer" dick…
Sorry, but the Nation already took GW Bush off your hands. This one, you need to deal with on your own.
Yeah, like the last time you passed on one of your nut-burgers to us was so wonderful!
I knew it. I told people. Perry would ditch his most recent term as TX governor in favor of running for the GOP nomination.
Perry/Desert Eagle 2012!
Tyler Perry/Madea 2012!
There you go, CK, playin' the race card again. Michelle Bachmannnnnn's MWF Constitooshin says "No two black Preznits in a row!" with the exclamation point.
Tyler Perry presents: Tyler Perry's Presidential run, a campaign by Tyler Perry.
Rick would have some 'splainin' to do. He'd have to justify wanting to run the Federal Government while simultaneously hating it.
Well, if that were an obstacle, there would be no Republican candidates at all!
It is truly a wingnut event horizon, I've never been able to figure out how they get elected.
If Ron Paul can do it, I think Rick Perry can learn a thing or two.
I think logically, too.
This is absolutely not a consideration for Rick Perry or the quiet chatter folks at RCP.
Scoff if you must but it would be an epic Battle of Hair between him, Mittens & Huntsman that would be worth pay per view. They don't call him "Breck Perry" for nothing.
First time he tried to run his hand through Mittens mane, though, he'd find the wolverine trap Mitt's dad implanted there and they'd have to appear everywhere together. Might be a decent buddy movie if you casted likable types and made the Huntsman character their sidekick/buddy/driver.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0338466/
Fing Cohen bros. I actually paid to watch that.
You mean, Farrelly Bros.?
The Coens's craptastic movie from that year was Intolerable Cruelty.
I prefer the Late Ms. Ivins name for him; "Governor Goodhair."
"the Late Ms. Ivins" One of the saddest statements in the entire world of politics.
Hasn't America learned yet about someone from Tex-ass in the whitehouse?
Why? What happened? I don't recall…
I think they call that repression.
Yes, see, the thing is, whenever you notice something like that…
Obama did it.
Needz moar LBJ (minuz Viet nom nom nomz), and lezz GWB.
Barry will retire in 2016 and quietly eat souffles for the rest of his life. It's what all ex-presidents end up doing.
Except for Bill Clinton, who prefers to get *soufflé'd*.
I'm thinking malt liquor tall-boys and Kools for ex-prez Barry, as long as we're dealing in stereotypes.
Barry was lucky to get elected, in that he ran against two self-evident fools and followed a third. But the hand he got dealt upon taking office was one of the worst ever, so it does seem like he should be able to kick back in whatever fashion he wants.
They smoke Kools in Indonesia? I would have figured, if they went for American cigs, they'd go with Marbs.
Djarum, actually.
"Barry was lucky to get elected, in that he ran against two self-evident fools"
How much of that was luck, and how much of that was the Repukes not sending in their first team, because they didn't want to have to clean up the trainwreck that they created?
That’s what’s going to happen next year, when the Santorum/Miche1e ticket goes up against Hopey.
Or, how much of that was them misunderestimating the readiness of real america to elect someone with melanin?
"…Repukes not sending in their first team…"? That would be, uh, who/whom? (Grammatical hedging courtesy of Strunk & White.)
Clove cigarettes, surely
"It's what all ex-presidents end up doing. "
Except for the one who hides out at his fake-ass ranch to finish drinking himself to death.
I would go with moving to Jamaica, become a rastafarian, and start a reggae band.
Now the lamestream media are just throwing names out at random to fill up column-inches until November 2012. I'm sure Rick Perry knows he will be outed permanently and irrevocably the minute he announces, so there's no way in hockey-sticks he's going to seek the nomination.
That being said, let's be creative and suggest a few more non-nominees that Bill O'Reilly can fawn over for a few days. How about Ted Nugent, David Koch of the Koch brothers, Chuck Norris, Michael Steele, Kay Bailey Hutchinson, Erik Estrada, Geert Wilders, and Margaret Thatcher? At the rate of one crash and burn per week, that should keep them busy through the end of July.
Inanimate Carbon Rod/ Poncherello 2012!!!
Hosni's available. And he knows how to keep people in line for decades.
With their penchant for upfisting Governors and MILF's, how long until they run Nikki Haley up the flag pole, so to speak?
Jindal would be pissed to get passed over for a woman.
Fukushima Core/Ron Paul 2012!
Rick Perry's "associates" say he'll win. Everyone else says "who the hell is Rick Perry".
Didn't he do that "I Kissed A Girl" song?
No I think he's that House of Pain guy.
Singer for Journey?
Guitarist for Aerosmith?
Dances under the name RuPaul?
Yeah, chatter is definitely "quiet" when no one at all has heard it! It's like a Zen koan: if a politician is thinking about running, but no one knows about it, is the politician thinking at all? (Answer: no.) Also, does RCP not know how the primary system works? The way that machine wrote it, it sounds like all Perry has to do is show up and the nomination is his!
Seeing how bad the GOP field is, he'd have a good shot. Supposedly a delegation of Iowa mucky-mucks actually took a meeting with Chris Christie to try and get that fatass, budget destroying monster in the race. They really have no one with both an actual job and any measure of worthwhile achievement in life. Plus, the ones willing to run are about as collectively charasmatic as wallpaper paste (and the same color).
But isn't Perry just another head of good hair? I mean, all my information comes via Wonkette, so maybe I'm wrong, but he doesn't seem particularly charismatic and he's certainly white.
I'm not saying he's any good, but he's at least not a walking Lunesta like Mitch Daniels and Timmy Pawlenty. He's like Mitt with a drawl and no healthcare baggage – I don't see how any sane person supports him, but GOP base voters are a breed apart.
Answer to koan: Moo.
Rick Perry-Alvin Greene 2012.
Zen you can believe in.
Phil Jackson's retired, so we need something to believe in, again.
Uh, Rick, the country you want to be President of was never really a country and hasn't existed since 1865.
I assume this is the Texas presidency they're talking about (?).
Maybe he could get the United States to secede from the United States! USA! USA! USA! Wait…
…That’s funny. Chatter that
Rick Perry invented the bagelGovernor Palin was carrying her fifth child had been so discreet that all her GOP aides/ cronies said they hadn't seen a trace, not even one indication there was a new bun in the oven.This story isn't familiar, no not at all.
"A Catholic lady in West Palm Beach put a prayer request for Osama bin Laden in her church’s bulletin as a joke."
I'm trying to recall if I have any elderly relatives in West Palm Beach. This is EXACTLY the sort of thing one of my kin would do for the fun of it. Then you get a copy of that week's church bulletin showing the Mass Intentions, scan it, and send it out to everyone in the family. We'd all be rolling over it. No one else would, however.
The residents of West Palm Beach need something to entertain themselves while waiting to die.
Their grasping children waiting impatiently for their modest bequests?
Someone in my church actually lit a candle in memory of Osama. But it's a Unitarian Church and there are some pretty extreme peaceniks there – no killing ever justified or some such. Our Zen Buddhist/Unitarian minister got a bit of flack for saying he was "filled with gladness at the death of a bad man". I guess it's good to attend a church where such dissension is not only tolerated but encouraged.
Perry has no chance to win. His hair, on the other hand, is a formidable opponent.
Perry Hair/Trump Hair/2012
On that matter of praying for OBL, get back to me when you find a story where the minister is not called Father Gavin Badway. Obvious urban legend.
How about Father Patton McGroin?
or Father Heywood Jablowme?
or Father Will Yatuchit?
Looks like we need some Priest Off!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Td-6iZqJlUg
Father Ben Dover?
You're all very funny, but art merely imitates life:
"Father Gavin Badway admits many in his congregation are unhappy. But he says the church has never turned down a prayer request before."
I'm not happy Texas is aflame, but watching muffin headed "Fed Up" Rick throw tantrums about being ignored by Washington, (except for 23 FEMA grants), and begging for money sends a thrill up my lady parts.
You can glean everything you need to know about Perry from looking at his signature: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Rick_Perry_sign...
Te owner of that signature is not a practicing male.
Clearly, someone on his staff (quiet you in the back of the room, I'm being serious) photoshopped out the smiley heart he used to dot the "i".
No, just sez "So in love, with myself". And that's pretty male.
Don't ask me how I know.
Whoa…that is gay.
Bin Laden didn't get a trial so there's no reason anyone should pray for him either. Good to see the Religious are as hypocritical as the Politicals.
Oh hahaha, you thought I was being compassionate and therefore a loser by putting the name of USA America's sworn enemy in our church bulletin, to pray for. Psych!
I do not think "gains steam" means what RCP thinks it means.
Obama is young, though. Can he really afford to retire early?
I'm sure he'll get a lucrative offer from the Carlyle Group once he's done with public service for America's richest people.
~
Ah, the Carlyle Group…the monied class's answer to the question, "Where do I best park my off-shore revenues?"
I figured Houston's air quality was most impacted by the aerosols the strippers use to keep their hair up.
A prayer request for OBL? From a Catholic lady from West Palm Beach?
What is the nation coming too? Next there will be requests for divine blessings for Negros, transexuals and the household help.
It would be interesting to see a candidate whose main platform is secession.
How would he secede from himself?
His brain seceded from his body a long time ago.
I really don't see how "Governing Texas" has become a reliable resume builder for the job of President. Its kind of like applying for CEO of Intel and including "Ran an Insane Asylum" as part of your work experience.
I agree completely with this statement, but it someohow fails to explain the most recent inhabitant of the position pre Obama. Do you think it could be the essecutions that impresses? Being a mass murderer must send a thrill up Murica's collective spine.
Or Alaska, for VP. The whole Gubanator thingy is so 2008.
Arguably, it's possible that certain forms of gray market behavior actually do qualify people for the top slot…as any CEO or fallen financier bio not written by themselves or their PR flacks shows.
Rick Perry is the Will Ferrell character from the long-ago (late nineties; but, whatever…) SNL sketch "Dog Show".
"In 2009, I told you I wanted to leave the United States. Help me become your leader in 2012, and I'll give YOU good reason to want to leave, too"
Perry 2012: Burn It All Down
Perry 2012: Anarchy In The USA Tour.
I don't know Rick Perry. Is he related to Katie Perry? And who is she?
She's not Ke$ha.
But she is who she is. (We all are.)
He's more commonly known as "The Refrigerator" Perry…I think.
She's the girly bland sexualized modern pop singer who has managed to distinguish herself from the rest of the pack with the unique characteristic of being a brunette.
& she's domesticated Russell Brand.
Her "music" makes my ears sad.
But her tits make a different part of my body glad.
http://www.google.com/search?q=katy+perry+elmo&am...
She's great to listen to with your eyes.
Katy Perry does commericals for Pro-active
So you might say Rick Perry's presidential ambitions are still "in the closet."
HEheh. he's a secret ghey.
A secret maybe to the blind.
What's the difference between RCP and PCP? One screws with your brain and does nothing for you and the other one is a bad drug.
Anybody recognize the bigass ring?
I would assume it's his Texas A&M class ring. I've always thought old grown men who wore their class rings was kind of strange, but maybe it brings back fond memories of after dark dorm hours & all that play *wrestling* for him?
What colleges even sell class rings? That's a high school thing.
Colleges in Texas. You can sell anything to a Texan. See, e.g., the last two affable/laughable governors.
Calderon no es tan reaccionario para Ud.?
Vote a Perry 2012.
The endorsement from Carlos Slim may be enough to put Rick over the top.
Why would Perry run for the leader of a country he does not want to be a part of unless handouts are involved?
Creepy. . .see below
That photo makes Rick Perry look like the true douche that he is. And they say a photo is worth a thousand words, hell I doubt Ricky even knows a thousand words.
I knew the Republican presidential candidate field was thin, but really? Rick Perry? How about Tyler Perry instead? Or Perry Mason? Or my BFF's boyrfriend in seventh grade, Perry Johnston? Any of these would be an improvement.
You forgot Perry White. And also Perry the Platypus, too.
Ooohh, Perry White, I would definitely take in every one of his speeches. On the radio, though.
Oh. I thought you wrote BARRY White.
Curse you, LesBontemps!
Great Caesar's ghost!
And curse you, Tessie!
Perry White?! Great Caesar's Ghost!
Perry King in his prime. . .mmmmm
Read my lips: no new Texans.
I deeply regret to tell you that I accidentally thumbed you down and Intense Debate will apparently not let me take it back. I will now thumb up your other comments as atonement.
And now the troll is coming through to magnify my error.
It happens to the best of us, and I've defisted the troll's power for you and your little friend below.
I trust you've incorporated a Does Not Apply To Kinky Friedman Clause in the fine print.
ftw. Really, step to the podium, my friend.
And don't forget to thank your family and all the little people who made this win possible.
it makes sense to follow our first black president with our first gay president.
Pat, er, James Buchanan is not happy.
Richard Simmons 2012!
RICHARD SIMMONS IS GAY? I thought he was just happy.
Rock/Paper/Scissors 2012!
Of course nobody noticed Perry's associates nosing around; their sense of smell is a thousand times more sensitive than humans'.
This guy is so far in the closet the only thing between him and the wall is Tom Cruise.
Hot.
His cowboy boots are Freedom and Liberty. What's the name of that ring?
Dang-doo.
Maurice.
World Wrestling Federation
Yeah, that last Texas governor as prez worked out so well…
Didja see Barry drain that 3-pointer when shooting hoops w/the troops in Kuwait?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j87k1j4CpOw
Pure street.
Ha! Jumpers are for gym rats who have nice private schools to play in, like Barry. Seriously – most street ball is in your face and physical, not rainbows.
Barry is from the nicest state in the country and lived in the nicest part of the established African American community on Chicago's South Side (Univ. of Chicago). He's about as street as me – and that's a good thing, because if he was street he never would have made it out the Illinois Senate.
So, you're saying, had Barry been playing in the Lakers series, Ron Artest would have clotheslined him?
If he had pulled up for a rainbow, Ron-Ron probably would have reached into his chest and ripped out his still beating heart.
I lived in Indiana when the Artest melee went down in Detroit. Ron was a known freak, on and off the court. Like untreated paranoid schizophrenia or at least rapid cycling bipolar freaky.
Listen, he's urban, so….
Yeah, you're either "street" or some kind of uppity/buppity/bourgie/halfbreed freak of phony. There's only 2 kinds of colored!
Apologies if the ironic intent didn’t show through…I’m one of the “good” white people!
Hey, it's not like you wouldn't hear the same b.s. out of black people, too. Like the idiot boxer who just accused Donovan McNabb of being a house negro. Or the formerly young, stupid and fat-mouthed Jalen Rose.
"…GOP operatives and consultants contacted by RCP hadn’t heard a word about it."
I wonder if Rick Perry has heard about this silliness?
Rick. The Pope called. He wants his fucking ring back.
And he is just horrific, hateful and sexist enough to get it. And there's the hair. They like good hair. Which is why Bolton will never come close, even as awful and heartless as he is.
Replace Goose Island with Anchor Steam, & you have Schwarzenegger.
Wait, wait, wait — Arnold has black right in his name! Don't tell me, then: Barack isn't bin Laden, he's the Governator. In which case, impeach the Pres for impregnating the help.
Your pretzel logic is impeccable.
Wow, it turns out the old adage "absence of evidence is not evidence of absence" is wrong. Absence of evidence is not only evidence of absence, it apparently is now evidence of presence!
Kind of unusual, but I would vote for the puppy. Who is the guy holding him?
Bet if the bitch loses, he'll push for secession again.
If you can tell from looking at that picture that the dog is a female, you must have eyesight like Superman.
not the same bitch. The ring-bearing Foster-Grant model.
If ever there was a guy who needed prayers for his soul it is/was OBL. Too bad that lady did it to look holier than me. But then no one has ever called me a good Christian
I will actively campaign against this asshole if he does run.
"Political Associates" = Perry's various schizophrenic personalities.
All About Steve.
political associates have begun to nose around quietly on Perry’s behalf
Guys, you're doing it backwards. You are supposed to root around in decaying fungal matter or manure piles as a means to an end (i.e., truffles, psilocybin, etc.) not as the end itself.
political associates have begun to nose around quietly on Perry’s behind
/fixed
I ain't votin' for no dude that eats live dogs.
I dunno. I'd vote for the dog.
Probably saving the puppy for Cheney's lunch.
He can run as the Anti-Lincoln. Doing everything possible to break up the Union to save the Union. Help me to help you to help me….
The house, divided? Fine. We'll even make it easy for you, fifty-fifty property style. We get fifty percent, plus fifty percent of what's yours.
Vote for me.
I'll enrich myself and buy a bunch of stuff.
this will create jobs for you fools who voted for me.
Winningest Republican Platform since Reagen.
"His associates have been nosing around on his behind"?
You know who ELSE had a lot of chatter about him?
Zacarias Mousaoui?
MMick Jagger?
Paul Reubens?
Should have clarified he was raised in the nicest state – at least when he wasn't goin' to that there madrassa.
The associate who is "nosing around" is obviously the puppy.
Oh, and he didn't invent the bagel; he invented the *beagle*.
And then, having done the batting-cage thing in (or I should say "with") Texas, he stepped up to the stolen election plate and did essentially the same thing with America.
Rick Perry is a wingnut douchebag whose only talents are hair craft and getting elected to stuff. So what's not to like?
w00t!w00f!I must admit that I'm not familiar with Rick Perry, but judging by the picture, he appears to be at least 40 years old and still wearing his high school ring. What's the deal with that?
Maybe they meant Perry is thinking about running for President of Texas when it secedes from the United States.
In a sidewalk cafe on the Boul Mich.
If Perry's platform called for Texas succession, I'd be tempted to vote for him.
Perry/Santorum
Me too, also.
Morgan Park, Beverly Hills for me. 108th Pl and Western Ave.
Political operative: "adorable puppy"
Nosing around: "searching corners of floor for lost snausages"
Dog got a little smile on his face, like: I am biting this crazy fuckers nose after this. Then again he does seems to be wearing a cape, like some other more astute wonketeer pointed it out before.
Add a sun glass on top of his head, a light yellow cashmere blazer slung on his shoulders and he could easily walk around San Francisco and never get noticed. The pose seems a bit "Oh my god i looove this puppy" type of pose…just saying
A man who threatened to secede from the union is not contemplating a run for president of that union. Only in a Central American banana republica or Republican America.
One of the parishioners at my very left-of-center Episcopal church in Berkeley submitted OBL's name to our "pray for those who have died" list bright and early that Monday morning. Not as a joke. I think he's trying to one-up other people with his with-it sensitivity ("I'm a better Christian than you are"). It's not the first time he's pulled this kind of thing.
The request was nixed by the clergy. Nobody's stopping anyone for praying for his soul, but it was determined that printing it would generally upset people because it would be seen to be somehow "church policy". Father preached a thoughtful and compassionate sermon on death, which probably did us all a lot more good.
Hmmm….why would you want to run for the presidency of a nation you want to break away from? Why would you want to run for the presidency of the United States when you're already the president of the Reconstituted Republic of Tejas?
I always knew that Bin Laden was a secret Judeo-Christianist. At least, that what his opposition within al Qaeda was spreading around when elections were underway.
From which came one of the best courtroom exchanges ever:
"Your Honor, he's choking the witness."
"I'll allow it."
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