Supreme Court: Police Don’t Need Warrant To Kick Your Door Down, Shoot Your Dog

  unreasonable toking

The police do not need a warrant to enter a home if they smell burning marijuana, knock loudly, announce themselves and hear what they think is the sound of evidence being destroyed, the Supreme Court ruled on Monday in an 8-to-1 decision.

“Police! We were walking by and heard evidence being destroyed! Open the door in the next tenth of a second or we’re going to damage your property, kill your dog in front of your children, and find out that you were just blending a smoothie!” [NYT]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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