HALF-ASSED UNINSPIRED LISTICLES  8:27 pm May 16, 2011

The Top ‘Enemies of Democracy,’ According To Google

by Jack Stuef

Obviously.This is according to our Google for “enemy of democracy,” not your Google, but whatever:

1. Jon Stewart
2. America
3. WikiLeaks
4. Barack Obama
5. George Soros
6. Oil
7. ACLU
8. Ibrahim Babangida’s 1993 presidential election result annulment speech
9. government secrecy
10. Love, as practiced by the Thai
11. Islam
12. Israel
13. this guy, when he’s wearing his Halloween costume
14. government secrecy
15. the West
16. judges
17. Wisconsin state government
18. Islam
19. Gen. Muhammadu Buhari
20. Jon Stewart
21. theocracy
22. political assassination
23. Jon Stewart
24. free speech
25. corporate power

Obviously, it’s either Jon Stewart or that guy in the Halloween costume.

This is an illustration of how everyone in politics basically gets along and can come to easy solutions these days with out stabbing the evil out of one another. Pretty soon one of the sides is going to just win everything, we think! [Google]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 169 comments }

jdoleman May 16, 2011 at 8:30 pm

I get in order; Jon Stewart, America, Islamics, Wikileaks and Oil.

Must be the Euro-liberal the google I get here.

noodlesalad May 16, 2011 at 9:18 pm

My Singapore Google says "Ignorance" and "Inequality." Pretty sad that my one-party state gets it right.

orygoon May 16, 2011 at 8:32 pm

Makes me a little nostalgic for those halcyon schoolchild "duck and cover" days, when it was ever so much clearer what the enemy of democracy was. But maybe that was just because we didn't have The Google to confuse us?

Arken May 16, 2011 at 8:35 pm

So Alf is not one of the enemies of Democracy? Damn you and your suggestive imagery, Wonkette!

4tehlulz_lite May 16, 2011 at 8:43 pm

ALF DID WTC

Arken May 16, 2011 at 8:46 pm

READ THE CONSTITUTION PEOPLE!

unclejeems May 17, 2011 at 12:59 am

OK, now what?

Negropolis May 17, 2011 at 1:53 am

It's in the BAH-bull. Look it up!

tessiee May 17, 2011 at 1:45 pm

"IT'S IN REVELATIONS, PEOPLE!!"
/Kent Brockman/

SorosBot May 16, 2011 at 9:09 pm

THEN WE MUST INVADE MELMAC – AND ALSO ORK, BECAUSE THEY HAVE WMDs (MAYBE) AND WE DON'T LIKE THEM EVEN THOUGH THEY HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT

poncho_pilot May 16, 2011 at 10:31 pm

faggy, pretentious Krypton has criticized our decision to invade Melmac. we will no longer super size our combo meals. we will freedom size them.

Texan_Bulldog May 16, 2011 at 9:21 pm

He's pretty funny looking; I demand to see his birth certificate!

bagofmice May 17, 2011 at 3:11 am

Illegal alien, obviously.

Sparky_McGruff May 17, 2011 at 6:40 am

I'm pretty sure ALF is an enemy of cat-democracy, along with vacuum cleaners. Damn vacuum cleaners!

Sue4466 May 16, 2011 at 8:36 pm

Damn. I so wanted to make this list.

bflrtsplk May 16, 2011 at 8:41 pm

If it makes you feel any better, I think they have you listed in a tie for 27th with John Lennon and Graucho Marx.

Sue4466 May 16, 2011 at 8:57 pm

A little, though I hear Zeppo's the Marx to beat.

Barb May 16, 2011 at 8:36 pm

Political assassination? Now are we going to feel regret that we put Bin Laden's eye out because there is an off chance that they have 3-D movies in hell and he's hobbled?

MistaEko May 16, 2011 at 8:58 pm

"Hey, why isn't Bin Laden on this list? Oh yeah! I got rid of him! HA! Killllllllllllled Bin Laden."
http://www.hulu.com/watch/241601/saturday-night-l

MadBrahms May 17, 2011 at 3:09 am

Given the recent batch of 3-D movies, that would be an unintended favor.

LesBontemps May 17, 2011 at 11:29 am

Hell is watching 3D movies with one eye.

tessiee May 17, 2011 at 1:46 pm

Hell is watching 3D movies.

fxd

seppdecker May 16, 2011 at 8:40 pm

Halloween Costume guy:

a Frazetta-esque barbarian poster,

an Evil Ernie calendar(?!),

and a North Face windbreaker that undercuts his bandoleer and keffiyeh look.

I think he was going for a touch of evil, but got a touch of something else.

Crank_Tango May 16, 2011 at 10:23 pm

i think the north face windbreaker is campus camouflage…going for that "quad jihad" kinda look.
Ladies wear uggs.

DaRooster May 16, 2011 at 8:40 pm

Jon Stewart is to democracy as Newt Gingrich is to monogamy… what? He's had multiple affairs? Wow… then… NO… its the opposite.

JoshuaNorton May 16, 2011 at 8:44 pm

And Jon Stewart.

Not to mention Jon Stewart.

Stewart, Jon.

DerrickWildcat May 16, 2011 at 8:46 pm

26. The Up
27. The Down

ProgressiveInga May 16, 2011 at 9:12 pm

28. The Love that dare not speak its name.

horsedreamer_1 May 17, 2011 at 9:17 am

Mandingo?

proudgrampa May 17, 2011 at 12:24 pm

28. The Right.
29. The Left.

x111e7thst May 16, 2011 at 8:46 pm

I'm surprised that all the stuff that is causing tornadoes and floods is not on the list Abortion, gay marriage, uppity women who don't know their place etc.

MistaEko May 16, 2011 at 8:52 pm

Man, Common fell out of the Power 25 really fast.

SpurningBeer May 16, 2011 at 8:52 pm

And where is Acorn on the list? What could be more anti-democracy than registering poor people to vote?

Okay, maybe voter suppression. But Alberto Gonzalez isn't on the list either.

horsedreamer_1 May 16, 2011 at 9:25 pm

Needs more Hans von Spakovsky.

& that sounds foreign. Where's your birf certif'cate, Hansy?

Callyson May 16, 2011 at 9:34 pm

The New Black Panthers did not make it either. The wingnuts are getting lazy,

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 16, 2011 at 8:54 pm

Wait, so the Jews were behind 9/11?

And what the fuck. I've been posting to this site for nearly six years, and I don't even make the top 100? Some gratitude.

However, they are right, Love, as practiced by the Thai, will ruin democracy. In fact, I believe David Vitter has already organized a trip to investigate.

natl_indecency_cmdr May 16, 2011 at 11:05 pm

we should all be so lucky.

zhubajie May 17, 2011 at 4:39 am

I think Dave would prefer the places J-pervs go….

BaldarTFlagass May 17, 2011 at 8:25 am

I bet you've got a lot of nice ties. Would you like to tie me up with some of your ties, Ty?

NorthStarSpanx May 17, 2011 at 9:36 am

I think babies go commando or wear cloth diapers in Thailand, wouldn't that crimp Vitter's style?

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 17, 2011 at 12:35 pm

Nah…., It just means he will stand out more.

tessiee May 17, 2011 at 1:48 pm

"I bet you've got a lot of nice ties."

Random guy: You like Thai?
Homer Simpson, a/k/a Max Power: Tie good. You like shirt?

JustPixelz May 17, 2011 at 11:51 am

You'll always be an Enemy of Democracy to me.

Warpde May 16, 2011 at 8:56 pm

Well now. Didn't take long for Wonkette to make the list.
Ha Ha….#6 on my Google, with a bullet.

"The Top 'Enemies of Democracy,' According To Google
16 May 2011 … This is according to our Google for “enemy of democracy,” not your Google, but whatever: 1. Jon Stewart 2. America 3. WikiLeaks 4.
wonkette.com/…/the-top-results-for-enemy-of-democracy-according-to-google"

HipHop0Potamus May 17, 2011 at 9:35 am

Abed! Stop being meta.

gef05 May 16, 2011 at 8:56 pm

I was surprised when I saw #1 was Jon Stewart.

Then I saw the "research" was from East Carolina "University", "Where the Roadkill Stew Touches the Stars".

DahBoner May 16, 2011 at 10:28 pm

Yeah, obviously the #1 enemy of democracy is the G.O.P., which puts it's interests, and the interests of the internationalists ahead of America and the American people (who are not in the Richest 0.01%)….

trampndirtdown May 17, 2011 at 1:31 am

The richest .001% are America pal.

zhubajie May 17, 2011 at 4:41 am

So where does E. Carolina U. fit on the Bob Jones scale? Unaccredited, natch, but does it actually teach anything of any value?

gef05 May 17, 2011 at 6:54 am

All jokes aside, they have a reasonable Nursing program.

tessiee May 17, 2011 at 1:50 pm

I was going to enroll, but then my milk dried up.

horsedreamer_1 May 17, 2011 at 9:19 am

Their sports teams are known as the Pirates. So, hipsters like 'em.

East Carolina vs. Seton Hall would be like an Arcade Fire/Fleet Foxes co-headlining performance at the Pitchfork Festival, then, I suppose.

Warpde May 16, 2011 at 8:58 pm

Dammit. Who left the door open?
Upfist time.

Extemporanus May 16, 2011 at 8:59 pm

26. Dignity
27. Giving Up on Gay Men

(Or do those count as one?)

DahBoner May 16, 2011 at 10:42 pm

"27. Giving Up on Gay Men"

Something every Republican tries to do, but is unable (see Larry Craig).

Once again, this is part and parcel to the actual #1 threat: The GOP….

nounverb911 May 16, 2011 at 9:01 pm

Where are the Koch boys?

Dudleydidwrong May 16, 2011 at 10:15 pm

Saw a Koch Transportation truck at a service plaza on the PA Turnpike yesterday. I wanted to ram it but A) I figured that all the kochs would fall out on the ground causing a mass stampede that would tie up world traffic for hours, and B) my tiny 40 mpg car would only fit under the big Koch truck and there would be no notice of my kamikaze strike for democracy. Kochs belong on the list. At the top.

DahBoner May 16, 2011 at 10:29 pm

#2, after the G.O.P…

zhubajie May 17, 2011 at 4:42 am

They are friends of North Korean style democracy, but with the Koches in charge, instead of the Kims.

thebeatgoeson May 16, 2011 at 9:05 pm

My google search for -enemas of democracy- yielded this gem "In a political sense, Sri Lankan elections are public enemas administered by the state apothecary to dehydrate democracy." I think Glenn and Rush and Sean need enemas of democracy – they're so full of shit it's affecting their thought processes.

Goonemeritus May 16, 2011 at 9:12 pm

Idle youth didn’t make the cut WTF.

DahBoner May 16, 2011 at 10:30 pm

Nor Incalcitrant youth! How unGaltian…

Nothingisamiss May 17, 2011 at 12:21 am

Youth in Asia!

horsedreamer_1 May 17, 2011 at 9:20 am

What about those lazy DC types, the Teen Idles?

NorthStarSpanx May 17, 2011 at 9:38 am

Idle youth is now represented by Kim Kardashian, Levi Johnston, Bristol Palin, et. al, so it's the new measure of success.

tessiee May 17, 2011 at 1:52 pm

"Idle youth didn’t make the cut WTF"

They may spend the winters undermining democracy, but when spring arrives and the weather warms up, they switch to trespassing on crabby old people's lawns.

Goonemeritus May 17, 2011 at 4:51 pm

Not my lawn if my two intemperate border collies have anything to say about it.

Blendergoathead May 16, 2011 at 9:13 pm

If you've ever practiced Thai love, you would fucking wonder why it wasn't in the top five. You also need a chiropractor afterwards.

DahBoner May 16, 2011 at 10:32 pm

"If you've ever practiced Thai love, you would fucking wonder why it wasn't in the top five."

One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble.

I get my kicks above the waistline, Sunshine…

BaldarTFlagass May 17, 2011 at 8:29 am

Practice makes perfect.

iburl May 16, 2011 at 9:18 pm

Cool! This very Wonkette article is now the 3rd biggest enemy of democracy in my Google! Congrats, pigs!

el_donaldo May 16, 2011 at 9:22 pm

This post is now number five in that search.

I clicked on that Jon Stewart link. It led to an old Richard Morin column torquing bad science to reach unremarkable wingnut conclusions: i.e., Stewart's fans are cynical slackers, and Democrats are the real racists because Republicans are principled in their racism. Conservative columnists = enemies of the smart.

NorthStarSpanx May 17, 2011 at 9:39 am

Even as cynical slackers, we're pretty fucking productive eh?

horsedreamer_1 May 16, 2011 at 9:25 pm

He is a pussy-hound.

weejee May 16, 2011 at 9:26 pm

You know who else Alf downfisted?

BarackMyWorld May 16, 2011 at 10:34 pm

Certainly not cats.

horsedreamer_1 May 17, 2011 at 9:21 am

Franklin Roosevelt?

horsedreamer_1 May 17, 2011 at 9:21 am

Batman?

horsedreamer_1 May 17, 2011 at 9:21 am

Shelley Winters?

Slim_Pickins May 16, 2011 at 9:26 pm

Are we talking Democracy or democracy? If its the former its the GOP, if its the latter its the republicans.

Beowoof May 16, 2011 at 9:28 pm

Gee I would have said willful ignorance at the top of my list.

DahBoner May 16, 2011 at 10:33 pm

In other words, willful, intentional ignorance is the #1 on my list: The GOP.

Well played!

Beowoof May 16, 2011 at 9:30 pm

I see the downfister for democracy has been through. I am fighting back for commie fascism, Kenyan socialism.

Callyson May 16, 2011 at 9:31 pm

Downfist troll must be very disappointed not to make this list.

DahBoner May 16, 2011 at 10:34 pm

They are employed by either #1 G.O.P. or #2 Koch brothers, so they're really a wholey-owned subsidary….

El Pinche May 17, 2011 at 9:54 am

Downifst troll is an enemy of vaginas.

arihaya May 16, 2011 at 9:33 pm

Jon Stewart is already an American, he read Wikileaks news, and he is had hosted Barry in his show, and he is of Jewish descent like Soros

now if he is a Muslin he will the ULTIMATE enemy of democracy

PristineODummy May 17, 2011 at 3:03 am

Perhaps he's Satin.

bflrtsplk May 17, 2011 at 7:22 am

Satin is smooth and slinky. Satan breathes fire. You could make the case either way with Stewart.

Callyson May 16, 2011 at 9:37 pm

The internet is no match for Nixon's paranoia. In fact, the internet would have made his enemies list if it had existed then.

CountryClubJihadi May 16, 2011 at 9:38 pm

Since Islam is listed at #11 and #18, Surah 11:18 says: And if We hold back from them the punishment for a limited time, they will surely say, "What detains it?" Unquestionably, on the Day it comes to them, it will not be averted from them, and they will be enveloped by what they used to ridicule.
Meanwhile, if you click "shopping" you can get a Hilary Clinton Enemy of Democracy poster for $39.

DahBoner May 16, 2011 at 10:36 pm

Since most G.O.P. call themselves "Christian Conservative Republicants", I think Christianity is a subset of the #1 threat: G.O.P.

DerrickWildcat May 16, 2011 at 9:39 pm

I like Cats!

pinkocommi May 16, 2011 at 9:44 pm

Is it opposite day today? Faux News and Dick Cheney surely should make the top 25.

predilectrix May 16, 2011 at 9:47 pm

Jon-Stewart #1 listing comes from 2006, when he was the enemy of democracy as practiced by the Cheney cabal, so, really more of a frenemy.

Mahousu May 16, 2011 at 9:50 pm

OK, all of these things may be enemies of democracy, but can they actually win? The answer may surprise you.

Going to this informative site, I checked out the prospects of democracy against some of the named opponents above. It did not fare well. The only ones it defeated outright were George Soros and the ACLU, but I figure that's because they usually battle by proxy. While at first blush, democracy does beat Jon Stewart, I believe that is an artifact of Internet spelling skills; when you combine Jon Stewart and John Stewart, democracy loses.

Surprisingly, WikiLeaks and Barack Obama only defeated democracy by small margins, so they might not be quite the bogeymen we thought.

Islam, oil, and America all defeated democracy by enormous margins – 10-1 in some cases. There's your real threat, peoples.

alaninthecastro May 16, 2011 at 9:53 pm

Why is that guy in his Halloween costume giving the "Hook 'em horns" sign? Is the University of Texas an enemy of democracy? Could be!

DahBoner May 16, 2011 at 10:38 pm

Bill O' Reilly once said that Madison was a town of Satanists, but UT seems to be aligned with the devil.

Too bad for the UT football program the world will end this week…

Redhead May 16, 2011 at 9:55 pm

Jon Stewart gets to be 1, 20 and 23? If he can be in 3 places at once, wouldn't that make him more like God than anything?

fuflans May 16, 2011 at 11:35 pm

or he has a time turner. which would be pretty cool.

simplyblue7 May 16, 2011 at 9:57 pm

Barry is behind in the numbers again…shit!

DahBoner May 16, 2011 at 10:39 pm

I think the GOP is #1, and Barry is trying to represent all of America, including the batshit crazy Republicans, so we can lump Barry in with the #1 threat, the G.O.P…

Rotundo_ May 16, 2011 at 10:04 pm

If one has to find out who the "enemies of democracy" are by Googling it, one would be dumb enough to believe most of that shit. I'd call 95% of that crap. Which just happens to support the old theory that 95% of everything is crap. Damn, that means that 95% of this post is crap as well. Self fulfilling prophecies are us, oh well, when the righties are raptured and the angels bearing them aloft are ruptured, we get all their cigar stank-ed SUV's guns and porn. Is that a good thing?

natl_indecency_cmdr May 16, 2011 at 11:30 pm

i've often thought 99% of everything was crap. thanks for tempering my angst. see you after the rapture! [a.r.?]

bagofmice May 17, 2011 at 3:19 am

I read: "blah blah blah blah blah blah blah and porn".

Pragmatist2 May 16, 2011 at 10:11 pm

How could they possibly have left out:
Libruls
Libtards
Democratics
Chicago thugs

SudsMcKenzie May 16, 2011 at 10:11 pm

If "Love, as practiced by the Thai" isn't Democratic, I don't want to be Democratic.

Radiotherapy May 16, 2011 at 10:12 pm

28. Bedbugs

DahBoner May 16, 2011 at 10:40 pm

Psst!

One word: Cedarcide.

user-of-owls May 16, 2011 at 10:17 pm

Takeaway:

When Jon Stewart engages in Love, as practiced by Thai, with George Soros in defiance of government secrecy and protest of Ibrahim Babangida’s 1993 presidential election result annulment speech, he damn better use Oil.

Am I missing something?

natl_indecency_cmdr May 16, 2011 at 11:28 pm

it kind of sounds like you were there. color me jealous!

rocktonsam May 16, 2011 at 10:18 pm

Colbert is going to have a hissy fit

BZ1 May 16, 2011 at 10:48 pm

Quoting extraterrestrial Shanto Iyengar is not going to work….

Doktor Zoom May 16, 2011 at 10:58 pm

Jon Stewart is clearly in good company:

DONT ARSK US ABOUT:
rocks
troll's with sticks
All sorts of dragons
Mrs Cake
Huje green things with teeth
Any kinds of black dogs with orange eyebrows
Rains of spaniel's
fog
Mrs Cake

DashboardBuddha May 16, 2011 at 11:00 pm

This illustrates perfectly why we should do away with all kinds of campaigns and voting. It's inefficient. Let's just run the question through Google and Boom! Referendum!

Doktor Zoom May 16, 2011 at 11:04 pm

Fine, if you want Ibrahim Babangida to be president for life.

Actually, I suppose we'd end up with whoever /b/ wanted to be president. Could be Ibrahim Babangida, could be Pedobear.

MadBrahms May 17, 2011 at 3:12 am

The way government contracting works, they'd probably outsource the whole thing to Bing. That might not end so well.

natl_indecency_cmdr May 16, 2011 at 11:08 pm

all my friends are here!

no. 17 Wisconsin state gummint.

damn skippy.

Paul Ryan, coming to a bedroom near you!

MadBrahms May 17, 2011 at 3:13 am

My bedroom? Jesus, I hope not. I've got enough monsters living underneath my furniture already.

horsedreamer_1 May 17, 2011 at 9:25 am

Where have you gone, Gaylord Nelson? A newly-polluted river turns his lonely eyes toward you….

lulzmonger May 16, 2011 at 11:28 pm

"Asking questions" isn't on the list?!?

I smell a fake.

Doktor Zoom May 16, 2011 at 11:34 pm

Speaking of enemies of democracy, PBS's American Experience is running an outstanding documentary on the Freedom Riders. Those on the Left Coast can still catch it, and it should be on the web tomorrow, I think.

Jesus Christ. I wonder if Rand Paul thinks that it's a bad thing that bus companies no longer have the personal choice to exclude anyone they want…

Radiotherapy May 16, 2011 at 11:55 pm

Hey Ryan, how did that Oldz Coupon thing work out?

Aisai May 16, 2011 at 11:58 pm

In Japan we get: 1. Jon Stewart 2. Religions 3. America 4. America 5. Translation of "enemy of democracy" into Japanese 6. America 7. America 8. America

OUR BESTEST ASIAN FRIENDS

Worthly[♬♪♬♪♫♪♬]Skum May 17, 2011 at 12:20 am

OK, now this article is the #1 Google result for "top enemies of democracy" and #2 is a Forbes article about this article. WTF?

zhubajie May 17, 2011 at 12:43 am

No Wonkette.com on that list?

deanbooth May 17, 2011 at 12:44 am

I do expect we will cease to be divided. We will become all one thing or all the other. Thinkers or Morans.

DaRooster May 17, 2011 at 1:07 am

Wait just a cotton pickin' minute… I LOVE CHAI… it is delicious and in no way is it anti-democratic… Oh… THAI… yeah that shit is horrific.

obfuscator2 May 17, 2011 at 1:07 am

wait, paul ryan just solved our problem. rape the poor, fuck the middle class, blow the rich.

big bill haywood would have shot paul ryan in the fucking head.

unclejeems May 17, 2011 at 1:21 am

Then I would that Big Bill walk amongst us once more.

DaRooster May 17, 2011 at 1:39 am

'…of this age group watched "The Daily Show" and only 23 percent of show viewers followed "hard news" programs closely."

I love the "hard news" bit… kinda like there is no such thing.

SmutBoffin May 17, 2011 at 1:43 am

The guy in #13 has kick-ass Manowar and Blind Guardian posters.

To the last fan of hobbit-metal in America: WE SALUTE YOU

Negropolis May 17, 2011 at 1:51 am

But, "both sides do it", right? But, you better believe the obtuse Sarah Palin is trying her damndest to make it back on this list of infamy, 'cause the bisch don't know no better, poor thing.

What's embarrassing about this is that this list is better than the Times 100.

AddHomonym May 17, 2011 at 1:57 am

No, both sides don't do it!!!!1!

Ha ha, I've taken the opposite opinion, so now yours is — ipso facto, post propter hoc, chemin de fer — an extreme view!

AJW@[redacted] May 17, 2011 at 11:05 am

Show men de fur–how retro!

tessiee May 17, 2011 at 2:06 pm

Chow mein de fur?
I always knew those Asientals put cats in the food!!

Negropolis May 17, 2011 at 2:02 am

I call bullshit.

Where is Justin Bieber, Dennys, and the The Real Housewives of Fill-in-the-Blank"?

ghblowhard May 17, 2011 at 9:09 am

Darn how did they miss me on this list?

ghblowhard May 17, 2011 at 9:12 am

Didn't Google bombing go out in 2004?

Toomush_Infer May 17, 2011 at 9:49 am

And to think we've been writing Jon Stewart's material for years….

tessiee May 17, 2011 at 2:08 pm

Not to be Buzz Killington, but Jon Stewart's material sorta writes itself.

Troubledog May 17, 2011 at 9:51 am

- Taking a trip
- Not taking a trip

El Pinche May 17, 2011 at 9:53 am

The #1 Enemy of Democracy is anyone who calls anyone of an enemy of Democracy.

freakishlywrong May 17, 2011 at 10:15 am

Guano faucet. Fart boxes. Does that help?

Goonemeritus May 17, 2011 at 10:24 am

And you don't get to say it because the comments are shut off.

SorosBot May 17, 2011 at 10:33 am

I know! Is Jack toying with us today?

ManchuCandidate May 17, 2011 at 10:24 am

Are you tormenting us Jack? I so want to comment on Schartw's baby but I can't. Why?

freakishlywrong May 17, 2011 at 10:25 am

Sorosbot bitched. We are the enemy of Democracy

Canmon May 17, 2011 at 10:27 am

I think it's closed so that 80 commenters don't post identical 'Sperminator' comments.

Doktor Zoom May 17, 2011 at 10:30 am

I was angling for the last story: Love, as practiced by the Tiger.

ManchuCandidate May 17, 2011 at 10:37 am

What's wrong with Inseminator? It's, um, classy.

Doktor Zoom May 17, 2011 at 10:39 am

Cum in me if you want to live.

EDIT: I'll be back…with a paternity suit.

EDIT EDIT: Listen, and understand. Maria's lawyers and the tabloid press are out there.They can't be bargained with. They can't be reasoned with. They don't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And they absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead. Or even after that–look at Elvis.

WIDTAP May 17, 2011 at 10:31 am

Riley forgot to leave Jack the admin password when he left.

SorosBot May 17, 2011 at 10:37 am

Guess we can joke about Arny's lovechild here, then cut & paste if/when that gets fixed. Here goes:

Considering how our glorious media is totally unbiased and objective, they will surely treat Republican Arnold Schwarzenegger as if he is one of the worst scumbags who has ever lived over this, just like they did with Democratic John Edwards. Right?

AJW@[redacted] May 17, 2011 at 11:08 am

Doesn't fox already identify him with a (D-Austria)?

freakishlywrong May 17, 2011 at 10:47 am

Conan the Impregnator

DaRooster May 17, 2011 at 10:30 am

New top enemy-
Wonkette… for feeding us an Ahnold story without the ability to comment… Pinko shit man…

Doktor Zoom May 17, 2011 at 10:35 am

I have no comment box and I must snark!

freakishlywrong May 17, 2011 at 10:39 am

Look on the bright side. No comments. No downfists. True Lie, dat.

owhatever May 17, 2011 at 11:20 am

Now I have to GOOG who the hell is Ibrahim Babangida. Did Jon Stewart have him on the Daily Show or sumthin?

privatejoker77 May 17, 2011 at 12:34 pm

I'm bad, I loled.

PostApocalypse May 17, 2011 at 12:45 pm

More support for my separate but equal theory:

voter = democratic! (well.. yeah.)
motor = democratic! (fuck yeah!)
motor-voter = undemocratic!

rap = awesome!
metal = awesome!
rap-metal = lame!

tessiee May 17, 2011 at 1:43 pm

So, Wonkette *didn't* make the list?
::crestfallen::

Chet Kincaid May 17, 2011 at 2:12 pm

I think there's a typo: Jon Stewart is actually the enemy of DEMOCRATS, as he demonstrated by holding a gigantic rally days before the 2010 elections at which he asked his followers to….do nothing.

No, I will not let it go.

Beanball May 17, 2011 at 6:59 pm

Except for the Jon Stewart reference, I have a very idiosyncratic Google, apparently. I didn't bother to read the top ten, but I do have the Top Six (!), with ties in several places:

Jon Stewart
Wonkette
graduates of Bard college
iPad / xBox
religious radicalism, populism and the Chinese state model
the decline of the bigger [British] political parties

Go figure.

C_R_Eature May 17, 2011 at 7:51 pm

Well, now. I’m surprised that Fluoridation, the Plot to Sap & Impurify our Precious Bodily Fluids hasn’t made the Top Ten. It’s just everywhere! Now they’re Fluoridating Ice Cream – Children’s Ice Cream, and…!
What’s that? Oh, right…Fluoridation is a Tactic, like Terrorism. It would be madness for a society to, for example, declare war on a Tactic…

Oh, right. Never mind.

C_R_Eature May 17, 2011 at 7:57 pm

Me too! Can't get enough of 'em (BELCH)

FrenchTwist40 May 17, 2011 at 10:18 pm

Yeah, Wonkette's on my list. Go Wonkette!

Also, "The ipad and the xbox." And "American Idol." That last one, I totally agree with.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 18, 2011 at 12:01 am

That WaPo article earned a huge double-take when it referred to "Jon Stewart's faux news program."

And Wonkette is now #2 on the list! Can you imagine what those Soutwestern Eastern North Carolina researchers would conclude if they studied the Wonketeers?

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