According to the Anderson Cooper teevee show on Friday, Newt Gingrich has committed “discretions” in his past. This is a serious revelation! We, and Republican voters everywhere, demand CNN release evidence Newt Gingrich has ever exercised good judgment. EVEN IF IT HAPPENED ONCE, THAT SHOULD DISQUALIFY HIM FROM THE NOMINATION. [thanks to Wonkette operative "Benton" for the tip]
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{ 92 comments }
Discretions have no place in the GOP primary.
Neither does intelligence or telligence (CNN style.)
But I saw it on the ternet.
Trust but ver.
You people are sane!
How do these people have jobs (and I don't)?
Discretion, obviously.
On the "Anderson Cooper teevee show," Is John King the bitch or the butch?
Yes.
I can't get over how John King does everything short of winking at the camera. That guy luvs himself. Anderson doesn't even try.
Mr. Gingrich has been genuous at times, then. So he's corrigible after all.
Certainly back in 94 it was apt to call him cendiary.
Prefixes are so 20th Century. Wait a minute, make that: Fixes are so 20th Century.
And who's that tranny in the screen shot w/John King?
Well on his craigslist ads he always insists he is "discreet."
As long as they were youthful (i.e., occurring under the age of 60) indiscretions, I don't see a problem here. Republican candidates certainly don't.
whoa whoa whoa. walk it back liberal media. There's nothing about Planned Parenthood in his past, is there?
"EVEN IF IT HAPPENED ONCE, THAT SHOULD DISQUALIFY HIM FROM THE NOMINATION. "
That should exclude every republican except Mitt.
Now if he fucked a page…..well, as long as he was discreet like Foley….
He's not proud of his past discretions, and with God's help, he won't repeat them.
In that case, he should probably stop using the confessional for clandestine hookups.
I think they meant his past secretions.
discretions is short for diseased secretions perhaps?
Newt's Diseased Secretions / Santorum 2012!
He's also ept and bred.
As covered in Gingrich's next book, "I" of Newt.
The only discretion Newt ever had was his discretion and indiscretion….and we all know Newty wouldn't have a clue what valor was – so next he may be accused of committing valor at some point as well.
Calista better watch out.
I'm credulous.
Well he managed to keep his cheating on his second wife discrete until after he had finished impeaching Bill Clinton for doing the exact same thing he was doing, so I guess that's something.
Stay tuned for more information from the Cheney Noose Network.
~
Ewwwwwww Newt's discretions. Yuck! I don't even like thinking about it.
Needs more Karel Capek.
"War with the Newts"
I love that novel. So few people know about it today.
I for one don't think his moral antics should qualify him from running for the presidency of Bizzaro World.
Newt must mediately fute these stantiated claims with vertable and fiable roberation to monstrate whelmingly that he is not a plete becile.
Newt wouldn't know discretion if it bit him on the neck. That being said; Fuck CNN.
He's a caring, considerate, DISCREET Koch sucking, sick wife dumping, money grubbing, tantrum throwing, fat, salamander looking sociopath. Hmmm, him or the food stamp president, which is, of course, salamander speak for nigger. This is a hard one so I must repair to an opium den and consider my options.
"Food stamp President" seems to mean he's given up on even trying to hide the racism; especially considering how in the same speech he claimed the election of 2012 would be the most momentous since 1860, implying that electing Lincoln was somehow a bad thing and threatening another war of treason.
Like those photo-shopped food stamps from the very beginning of the Obama presidency — festooned with pictures of watermelons, fried chicken, etc. Not meant to be racist. Oh, no.
I read this headline as "Past Erections." Which would be the same thing for most Republican discretions I guess.
Viewer discretion advised.
Fewer secretions derived?
My viewer's discretion tells me to avoid CNN.
Best anagram of Newt Gingrich: Rich Gent Wing.
Not "retching wing"?
Once he didn't beat a panhandler senseless.
To be fair, Reese's peanut butter eggs are a nice Easter candy. Other than that? I got nothing.
This is an inflammable accusation
inflammable means flammable? What a country!
WIN
This morning (May 16th) Jim Hightower had a very interesting radio broadcast about Ole Newt. Turns out he's never registered as a lobbyist – although he has accepted money from corporations to push their legislative agendas. Newt claims he doesn't have to register because what's he peddling is good for the entire country.
Ah, the old "it's not rape if she enjoys it" rationale. That's very ept, Newton.
Oh, golly, that was swell!
Text Link (with links to documentation)
Audio Link (requires RealPlayer thang, or just mp3?)
Molly Ivins is gone, but at least we still have Jim Hightower.
Link to Jim "Whole Hog" Hightower:
http://www.jimhightower.com/node/7446
Highly recommended!
That's very big of you, Doc.
But was he eating a souffle with/of his friends when he heard that Osama was dead?
That's totally credible. I am wracked with decision on the matter.
At first glance I thought it said "past secretions" which still makes sense. Newt has laid some Prius sized turds through out the last 20 yrs.
Oh, yeah? Well, Newt Gingrich is a diot.
Yup. Completely sipid.
If only he were pervious to criticism
I do not think I would put much faith in any woman who says Newt is effable. Eww.
I dunno, I have no trouble saying "Eff that guy."
Indeed. Any woman who did not consider Newter to be ineffable would be, I suppose, one of his then-future wives.
Jamaica? I didn't even kiss her.
That's because Discretion is Anderson's middle name. Anderson "Discretion Assured" Cooper.
That is such a flammatory thing to say.
Newt is capable of almost anything, so this is probably true.
No mistake; it's easier to count up his discretions than the indiscretions.
If Newt had ever actually exercised discretion, he wouldn't be thrice-married and one of the most despised R's in public life.
You might say Newt's making a delible mark on politics…
You sure they didn't mean "past secretions," because that would make more sense. But please, don't tell me what they were!
Yeah that's a queer one. So valuable it has no value, since it's value is so high it's impossible to assign value to, meaning it's valueless, by virtue of it's being so valuable. May 21 cannot come soon enough.
Spicable example of a human being.
Discretion is the better part of lure.
Words, what do they mean??
Words go in, words come out, always a miscommunication! YOU CAN'T EXPLAIN IT
thing, I guess.
If there's one thing Newt has never been, it's discrete.
I actually feel bad for CNN for a change as this is kind of a no-win situation. They can not call Newt a scumbag as it will rile up the Retard-Americans since they hate the truth.
Technically, inflammable means even more flammable.
Of course, we could solve the energy problems in this country if we made a generator that could be powered by the spin of conservatives whining about John Edwards justifying Newt Gingrinch's "indiscretions".
You mean Newt's actually ingenuous,?
Now, now, there was that time that Newt decided not to fuck an intern because there were television cameras around filming him at the time.
And he did wait until the morphine kicked in before telling his one wife that he was dumping her for an intern while she was at the hospital for her cancer treatments.
One of those ( )discretions was marital ( )fidelity while his wife was suffering with
( )curable cancer. Talk about ( )tegrity.
Regardless and irregardless? Or is irregardless a double negative and therefore should mean to regard?
I just made my own head hurt…
irregardless is not a word.
It's not a word? Is it a number?
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/irregar...
Sorry to reply so late.
1. Did you read the MW entry? — it says they're going to accept "irregardless" as a word because people insist on using it, but you should use "regardless" instead.
2. My opinion on this matter comes from my English teacher in high school, back in 1964. I've never found a good reason to change it (that is, no compelling need for "irregardless" has presented itself). However, feel free to use "irregardless" as you see fit. I won't laugh. Words are words.
The Newt crawls out from its lair, just like its namesake, the slimy salamander…
"past discretions"? What are they going to reveal, next? That he was involved in "shenanigans"?
This is why CNN is relevant and first place in cable news. Oh, wait…
And wottabout famous/infamous?
Who do I have to blow for a teachable moment around here?
Youse guys (this whole subthread). I thought you were all English majors. Remember connotation?
Admittedly, flammable = inflammable is redundantly redundant, but
valuable = has value
invaluable = has so much value that you cannot value (v., assign a valuation to) it.
(Just as mrblifil says)
famous = famous in a good way
infamous = famous in a bad way
irregardless = if this is now considered an official word, the earthly remains of my HS English teacher are rotating gently somewhere. Although I suppose it could mean running the sprinklers even though it's raining.
Suffer the Newt to come unto me, that I may newtralize him.
We're on a televator to the top!
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