L'HOTEL PARTICULIER  1:30 am May 16, 2011

Guy In Charge of World’s Money Jailed For Sex Attack On Hotel Maid

by Ken Layne

Mon dieu!How are the people in charge of the money treating the people who serve the people in charge of the money these days? Still not so good, it seems! International Monetary Fund chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn was hauled off an Air France flight just before departing New York, all because the cops say he tried to rape a hotel maid and then made a hasty departure for the airport. (Also: These sorts of people have “standing access to Air France’s business class,” so there’s no need to make reservations or whatever. The good life!) Maybe some world leader did something nice over the weekend, too. Who knows. Does Google News have a section for that?

Anyway, this guy was supposedly running for president of France, so that means “everybody” knew he had weird sexytime habits, allegedly. Have you ever been in some four-star hotel and thought, “Eh, maybe I’ll rape somebody from the housekeeping staff”? Is this a normal thought, in the minds of the rich and the powerful? Sure seems to be common enough with the Eurozone’s leaders. What is wrong with this crowd?

What is wrong with everything? The Internet! We haven’t touched the computer all weekend, both because it was the weekend and also because, tonight, our power went out for like nine hours. And we wanted to save the last bit of battery juice to put on the classical station so we could sleep peacefully, but no, the power had to come back on, and we just had to check Google News, just in case! It gets dull, this habit. We remember turning off the lights and locking the office door about fifteen years ago so we could spend the three-day weekend drinking beer outside and eating psilocybin mushrooms in the park because it was a rare sunny holiday in San Francisco, and then we checked the news wires “just in case” and Princess Diana had been killed in that car crash in Paris, so there went the pleasant holiday weekend. Type type type, for the Internet.

Anyway, everybody in the “service industry” should be especially careful over the coming weeks, because the rich & powerful are getting extra weird. [New York Times]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 229 comments }

Buzz Feedback May 16, 2011 at 1:35 am

Dominique? Sounds like a hairdresser or someone who should be working behind the viande counter at Géant.

Arken May 16, 2011 at 9:20 am

I thought she was the singing nun.

carlgt1 May 16, 2011 at 10:04 am

haha that's what I was thinking http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHhyyRByuJ0

although this jerk is probably more the hip swinging disco version: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uJLAhZU95E

Swampgas_Man May 16, 2011 at 9:52 am

Sounds like a spanker-for-hire.

DerrickWildcat May 16, 2011 at 1:38 am

OMG! New York French Germans are the worst!
True story.

Maman May 16, 2011 at 8:23 am

or he might be French and Jewish…

Limeylizzie May 16, 2011 at 9:12 am

That is one of my absolute favourite combos…Sami Frey…delicious, this guy not so much.

OneDollarJuana May 16, 2011 at 10:34 am

My brother says the Dutch are the worst.

bumfug May 16, 2011 at 1:41 am

I thought the head of the IMF was Ethan Hunt – this fucker doesn't look anything like Tom Cruise.

metamarcisf May 16, 2011 at 7:42 am

That's because the Secretary has disavowed any knowledge of his actions.

easynewz May 16, 2011 at 1:41 am

Say, wasn't this the plot of that sappy romantic-comedy film with Jennifer Lopez? And then they got married and lived happily ever after, right?

Maman May 16, 2011 at 8:24 am

They say that all great love stories begin with rape

OurHoboSenator May 16, 2011 at 9:32 am

"They" being Ayn Rand

Steverino247 May 16, 2011 at 8:40 am

Yeah, but then he became Lord Voldemort…

bumfug May 16, 2011 at 1:44 am

Who knew that the would-be president of France was a Graham Parker Fan? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJLNf-5BUIs

DerrickWildcat May 16, 2011 at 1:52 am

Graham Parker is fucking great.
Wreckless Eric? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSjwl8lHEVE&fe

Nick Lowe? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3jiCi7aFZE

bumfug May 16, 2011 at 2:07 am

Single best rock show I ever saw was the Nick Lowe & Rockpile/Mink DeVille/Elvis Costello tour in 1979. I had some friends who thought that the ultimate rock experience was Cheap Trick and I had to drag them to this show – they couldn't thank me enough afterwards.

bumfug May 16, 2011 at 2:48 am

I take that back – I saw Frank Zappa in Frankfurt, Germany and Janis Joplin in Hoechst (suburb of Frankfurt) and since I got to party with Janis' band at the Hotel Intercontinental after the show, THAT would have to be the best rock show experience. Zappa's concert was the best rock show ever, though, no doubt about it.

riverside68 May 16, 2011 at 9:17 am

"If you can remember the '60's you weren't really there." Robin Williams.

All I can remember of that Jimi Hendrix concert in Seattle is the dust drifting through the spotlights like stars drifting in space creating galaxies. Proably the soundtrack got me going on galaxy creation. (I actually I do remember "scuse me while I kiss this guy" Seemed a little odd for galaxy creation, but I was very deep in the flow.)

tessiee May 16, 2011 at 9:58 am

"a Graham Parker Fan"

If only he'd paid attention to one particular Graham Parker song: "Don't Bother with the Local Girls".

easynewz May 16, 2011 at 1:44 am

Thanks Ken for being gentle with us this Monday AM. Usually your posts make me want to slice open a vein before/during/after my morning coffee.

sati_demise May 16, 2011 at 1:52 am

oh, the details are a bog of mess……he left the hotel so fast he forgot his cell phone, there seems to be some kind of dna evidence, police wanting to check out the old boy for scratches and more dna testing. He has a sordid 'history' of a sexual nature. She hasn't got a chance in hell of winning this case even if her story is true.

bumfug May 16, 2011 at 1:57 am

You listed four reasons he's fucked and then decide this means she can't make her charges stick?

HarryButtle May 16, 2011 at 2:06 am

Yes, exactly. There's no doubt he's guilty, but in the end, it won't matter. He fucked her in the hotel room, and he'll fuck her again in the courtroom.

proudgrampa May 16, 2011 at 4:04 am

I fear you're right, Harry. A hotel maid might as well be a Southern Plantation slave for all the rights she has. God help her if she's ethnic.

riverside68 May 16, 2011 at 9:23 am

But there is a critial element in this case: He's a frog in New York.

DC got no pull in New York, and Frogs can fuck themselves.

Every single person who ever met anyone in her family has already been contacted by any number of lawyers. He's gonna have to plead to simple assault so her lawyers don't have to litigate the civil settlement. She's gonna get paid, not as much as the lawyers, but you gotta understand: her expenses are much lower.

FlyOverGirl May 16, 2011 at 10:04 am

She gets deported for her troubles?

tessiee May 16, 2011 at 10:01 am

"You listed four reasons he's fucked and then decide this means she can't make her charges stick? "

It seems to me that sati listed four reasons that *an ordinary guy that wasn't an uber-wealthy big shot* would be fucked, not four reasons *he's* fucked.

zhubajie May 16, 2011 at 6:34 am

Well, it'll improve Sarko's election chances.

horsedreamer_1 May 16, 2011 at 8:59 am

But, will the Schengen Treaty allow Strauss Kahn to move to Italy & run against Berlusconi?

I bet Silvio is shaking in his boots at the prospect. (Italians vote for whoever is the kinkiest/most depraved, right?)

zhubajie May 16, 2011 at 9:47 pm

Too bad Ciciolina isn't PM.

Texan_Bulldog May 16, 2011 at 8:53 am

Wasn't there a Bruce Willis movie where this diplomat keeps killing everyone but claiming 'diplomatic immunity'? Unfort. Bruce won't be able to shoot this dude.

Guppy06 May 16, 2011 at 9:30 am

You might be thinking about Lethal Weapon LXXXIII: The Passion of the Gibson.

Texan_Bulldog May 16, 2011 at 9:37 am

Yeah, I think you're right. I get those Bruce/Mel movies mixed up because of all the fine acting and riveting plot lines.

tessiee May 16, 2011 at 10:04 am

If that's the movie that had Alan Rickman in it, I didn't really pay attention to anything else.
For days.

Terry May 16, 2011 at 9:07 am

His sorrid history apparently includes harassing a woman at the IMF, who was sort of then bought off.

kittenbomb May 16, 2011 at 10:15 am

It worked for Brett Favre! Oh, wait…

KathrynSane May 16, 2011 at 1:57 am

"hotel maid" pretty much always equals "underpaid immigrant from a developing country", right? I only ask to see if this is simply a continuation of the IMF's well-established penchant for royally fucking over brown people.

Anyway, this is gross. I hope she is okay and that he actually gets punished.

finallyhappy May 16, 2011 at 8:14 am

enslaving and sexually abusing household employees is pretty standard in much of the world. I guess this guy forgot he was in NYC and that it wasn't his house

Tundra Grifter May 16, 2011 at 9:27 am

KS: To be dead serious on a Monday morning, the woman had the guts to report it. That's an extraordinarily difficult thing to do – also an important first step to get rapists off the street and where they belong.

As they used to say on Miami Vice, put the guy in a cell with Boogaloo Brown…

comrad_darkness May 16, 2011 at 1:20 pm

First off, a hotel of this caliber handles its staff very well. Unhappy staff do not provide 3k a night level of customer service.

Secondly, I was impressed by the response from the NYPD. They didn't dick around second guessing who was accusing whom. Very égalitarian country we got here. Suck on that, French Minister Type Person.

Sophist [غني عن ذلك] May 16, 2011 at 2:00 am

Anyway, everybody in the “service industry” should be especially careful over the coming weeks, because the rich & powerful are getting extra weird.

As far as the Kochs of the world are concerned, we're all part of the service industry, and we'd better start servicing them PDQ if we want our crust of bread.

Numbat_Dundee May 16, 2011 at 3:02 am

So beware of the Kocks and their cocks.

Sophist [غني عن ذلك] May 16, 2011 at 3:08 am

Maybe we should call ourselves Kochblockers?

HedonismBot May 16, 2011 at 3:44 am

If I thought the Kochs could get it up, I might be worried.

riverside68 May 16, 2011 at 9:26 am

Why do you think Viagra was invented?

For the rich the birds sing.

zhubajie May 16, 2011 at 6:36 am

That *is* how it is in 3rd world countries. Koches, et al., probably do want that kind of thing in the US. What good is wealth if you can't use it to humiliate your inferiors?

bumfug May 16, 2011 at 2:00 am

In all fairness, he wasn't royally fucking her over, he was trying to get her to blow him. Just sayin'.

Texan_Bulldog May 16, 2011 at 9:40 am

Not being a dude, I never understand why a man would want an unwilling woman to give him oral sex. Isn't he just asking for a painful trip to the ER?

prommie May 16, 2011 at 3:57 pm

Dudes can be pretty dumb, huh?

Negropolis May 16, 2011 at 11:16 pm

How did this get any thumbs up, let alone three? First off, from all reports, he first tried to rape her and she fought back, so he ceased that attempt, dragged her into the bathroom, and then decided it'd be less work to get a blow job. It'd have no mattered either way, though. This woman – if all of this is true, of course – clearly tried to rape her and then sexually assaulted her.

"In all fairness"? Are you fucking serious?

smokefilledroommate May 16, 2011 at 2:01 am

(sorry in advance)..

♪♫♪ French people suck
I just gotta say
Made the jet fighters
Go out of their way
Hating Yankees too much
Those beret-headed nuts.
They can stick the Eiffel Tower
Straight up their butts.

Last time I flew Air France
Played a tune on my Uzi
And made the sissies dance.
Killed a hundred or more
And I had a ball.
Those freakin' frog suckers
Be the death of us all.

French people suck.
French people suck.
French people suck. ♪♫

DerrickWildcat May 16, 2011 at 2:10 am

Oh yes, some meatmen too.

nounverb911 May 16, 2011 at 2:05 am

"supposedly running for president of France, so that means “everybody” knew he had weird sexytime habits"
The Newt's strong in this one too!

(I know I just used it, but if the shoe fits…)

Radiotherapy May 16, 2011 at 2:46 am

Hey, cue that sappy, suicidal music again.

easynewz May 16, 2011 at 5:29 am

Upfisted for the link. But ZOMG, how that Newty boy can spit out the buzzwords/phrases/dogwhistles AND he only mentions working with Zombie Reagan, not Clinton.

I'm still hoping that the Newt will be among the first that get raptured (or ruptured) soon.

Needs more plasticine wife. Also, too.

memzilla May 16, 2011 at 2:16 am

What amazed him is that she didn't just gracefully acquiesce, expecting that he'd leave an extra 10 euro note on the dresser for her trouble. This behavior works so well with rapey UN troops in DRC, except for the 10 euro note part.

zhubajie May 16, 2011 at 6:37 am

Possibly she's one of those semi-assimilated immigrants who's gotten born again and wants to "preserve her vessel in purity."

Radiotherapy May 16, 2011 at 2:24 am

This is why you buy gold!

proudgrampa May 16, 2011 at 3:50 am

Hear, Hear. People running the IMF are total losers. Keep buying Silver, Gold and Oil!!!

We are freakin' doomed.

GeneralLerong May 16, 2011 at 11:50 am

As if. Gonna haul a pillow case full of the stuff around to pay for a fill-up for the heap? Gold sucks as a currency.

Two – and pretty much only two – uses for gold:
1) jewelry
2) to satisfy hoarders' fantasies that it's somehow a store of value.

Which latter it is, I guess, if you're selling a lot of stuff to jewelers, instead of selling oil to refineries, cotton to spinning mills, copper to wire manufacturers….

mormos May 16, 2011 at 2:36 am

Good god, why are we up at 1:30 on a monday morning to read this crap, don't we have jobs to go to in the morning?! Oh… right…

Doktor Zoom May 16, 2011 at 2:41 am

Well, I was on my way to my new job cleaning hotel rooms, but I think I'll stay home and drink instead.

proudgrampa May 16, 2011 at 3:52 am

Job? What's a job?

My Bombay Sapphire is chilling in the freezer, right now…

Numbat_Dundee May 16, 2011 at 2:59 am

What makes it a bit sad is that this creep was going to be the Socialist candidate for President and, given that Sarkosy's on the nose, and the left is lacking any other creditable candidates, Le Pen's daughter a chance. So the French have to choose – the rapist or the fascist.
Merde!

BarackMyWorld May 16, 2011 at 3:25 am

Zut alors!

proudgrampa May 16, 2011 at 4:12 am

I KNEW we were going to have to learn French after that Canadian guy posted here the other day…

undeterredbyreality May 16, 2011 at 9:21 am

Qu'est-ce que c'est "on the nose?"

riverside68 May 16, 2011 at 9:29 am

Viva la France!

CZL May 16, 2011 at 9:37 am

What was a socialist doing heading the IMF? learning to be a good Keynesian neoliberal?

fuflans May 16, 2011 at 9:49 am

and yet, they don't have newt.

bflrtsplk May 16, 2011 at 3:17 am

Hope he at least had the decency to leave a good – er – tip.

Jukesgrrl May 16, 2011 at 4:03 am

He probably left copies of the Times of London, The Economist, and the Wall Street Journal — what else could a maid want?

edywin2 May 16, 2011 at 3:20 am

Note that he did not surrender. Another stereotype out the window.

mavenmaven May 16, 2011 at 3:25 am

Trump/Strauss-Kahn 2012!

iburl May 16, 2011 at 3:33 am

Obamar?

Fukui_sanYesOta May 16, 2011 at 3:45 am

Simon Bolivar?

HedonismBot May 16, 2011 at 3:45 am

So Ken, tell us more about these psilocybin mushrooms. Someday I can tell my grandchildren all about what I was doing the day bin Laden was killed: I was tripping my balls off.

proudgrampa May 16, 2011 at 4:00 am

Oh, I've heard that these mushroom things are kinda lame. Hey, you can see God with enough Sapphire Martinis.

Fukui_sanYesOta May 16, 2011 at 4:28 am

Sir, far from me to impugn your knowledge, but I can verify that these mushrooms are exceptionally potent, even more so than the (rather good) stuff synthesized by Herr Hofmann.

undeterredbyreality May 16, 2011 at 9:25 am

I don't know 'bout y'all, but this morning I woke up and caught the dog and the cats having a conference. Seriously, they were huddled in a circle, discussing, I suppose, my ultimate demise. It's been about 10 years since I last had some a them loverly shrooms. Must be time for a tune-up. If I'm-a gonna be hallucinatin', I might as well have a reason.

riverside68 May 16, 2011 at 9:34 am

You so do not want to combine 'schrooms with thoughts of balls off.

Helpful hints from the Fuddy Bummer squad

zappadoo76 May 16, 2011 at 3:47 am

From the article: "Is this a normal thought, in the minds of the rich and the powerful? Sure seems to be common enough with the Eurozone’s leaders."

It's not just Eurozone leaders. Remember Paul Wolfowitz, President of the World Bank? Technically speaking, he's an American. Forced to resign over pussy.

And let's not overlook St. Julian of Assange, from Down Under. Brilliant, brave, and self-destructively addicted to pussy.

It gets everyone into trouble, guys. This obsession. Just ask yourself sometime: how far am I willing to go? How much will I risk? What sacrifices will I make? What means am I willing to take?

It's really not that great, you know? Good, but so are char-broiled hamburgers.

proudgrampa May 16, 2011 at 3:57 am

Jesus, Zappa. You're freaking me out! Pussy is "really not that great???"

NO, I would not force myself on someone. But, come on, Pussy? Not? That? Great? Crazy!!!

Fukui_sanYesOta May 16, 2011 at 3:57 am

channeling Newt Gingrich

I only do it because I love America so much.

MiniMencken May 16, 2011 at 4:16 am

As the great artist/theoretician Chris Rock once observed, regarding the Ellen DeGeneres/Anne Heche breakup, when Anne Heche showed up at someone's doorstep in the great San Joaquin Valley babbling about God just days after breaking up with DeGeneres, "It don't matter if you are a man or a woman, that stuff (pussy) will drive you crazy."

zappadoo76 May 16, 2011 at 4:21 am

That is fucking hilarious.

zhubajie May 16, 2011 at 6:40 am

His problem was that he was cheap and didn't want to hire a pro.

mrblifil May 16, 2011 at 11:30 am

No he's just a true sportsman. For him rape is like playing "The Deadliest Game" except his penis is the weapon. Plus he just naturally assumed he could buy his way out of everything, because surprise surprise, did you know that when your job is to protect the distribution of the world's money, you get to keep a shitload of it for yourself? It's just common sense!

deanbooth May 16, 2011 at 7:23 am

so are char-broiled hamburgers

Depends on the buns.

jqheywood May 16, 2011 at 8:55 am

Zappa, methinks you are doing it wrong …

tessiee May 16, 2011 at 10:18 am

Sure, people buy underwear, not realizing that it's a *gateway drug*!

Gleem_McShineys May 16, 2011 at 12:48 pm

It's really not that great, you know?

This is an example of gays trying to recruit new members for the Gay Agenda (Homo-Sexual Army)! We tried to warn you!!

–FOXNews

prommie May 16, 2011 at 2:58 pm

Hey now, yes it is true that pussy can lead men to make some horrendous mistakes, to do some evil, to take a few liberties with their female party guests, its true.

But you have to keep in mind the other side of the coin. EVERYTHING that men do (hetero men) they do for pussy. Everything, good and bad. Everything, art, literature, commerce, everything, they do it all for the nookie. So, when you are crossing the GWB, remember, George Washington Roebling, he invented the suspension bridge, for the pussy. When you fly on a 747, remember, the Wright brothers, they did it for the pussy. The list is endless.

ttommyunger May 17, 2011 at 9:30 am

People are different, no big deal. I happen to have lived my 70 years thinking that pussy is not just great; it is the greatest. Later years have allowed me to discover that a hard dick is a much better servant than master. This French Putz has not learned that lesson, ergo, his present situation. She was prolly angling for more than a quickie of some type, most women are. He was just wanting to get off.

MiniMencken May 16, 2011 at 3:48 am

Strauss-Kahn? Sounds like the name of one of those filthy Jews who left the Third Republic, in the words of the leading Vichy polemicist, Robert Brassilach, smelling like “an old syphilitic whore, stinking of patchouli and yeast infection, still exhaling her bad odors, still standing on her sidewalk,…” Or, maybe not. Nazi-sympathetic invective for the Wonkette's most style-conscious readers or not, Strauss-Kahn is coming off as an evil psycho. But, then, I have class sympathies, at least with women working in hotels for, usually, utterly crap-tastic little sums of money for very long hours. Well. O. K., grandpa was a major recruiter for the IWW. So, are you reading this, Glenn Beck?

zhubajie May 16, 2011 at 6:41 am

So what happened to the IWW? Can they make a come back?

MiniMencken May 16, 2011 at 3:44 pm

Yes!

tessiee May 16, 2011 at 10:19 am

I got as far as "patchouli and yeast infection", and then got sidetracked trying to figure out which I'd rather have to smell.

prommie May 16, 2011 at 3:00 pm

Oh, you would rather smell the patchouli, really, you can play the humorous "I hate hippies" pose all you want, but given the choice, you do not want to smell the yeast infection.

prommie May 16, 2011 at 3:02 pm

Nutsack-fungus, on the other hand, just makes them smell vigorously manly!

MiniMencken May 16, 2011 at 3:51 am

No.

Jukesgrrl May 16, 2011 at 4:10 am

"Have you ever been in some four-star hotel and thought, 'Eh, maybe I’ll rape somebody from the housekeeping staff'?"

"Thought"? I'm not so sure. I think it's more along the lines of, "Have you ever been in some four-star hotel and just assumed the maid was asking for it because who can resist your wealth and power and she probably doesn't speak French OR English?"

Fukui_sanYesOta May 16, 2011 at 4:22 am

The formidable Mr Strauss-Kahn, able effortlessly to reel off chunks of the Maastricht treaty, fluent in four European languages (English, German and Spanish, as well as his own tongue), has since, among EU finance ministers, become the biggest hitter.

The guy can speak pretty much any language you'd expect a NY hotel maid to speak.

Formidable indeed.

xsluggo May 16, 2011 at 9:57 am

Mistakes were made. “No” means “oui” in IMF talk.

undeterredbyreality May 16, 2011 at 9:33 am

"Have you ever been in some four-star hotel and thought, 'Eh, maybe I’ll rape somebody from the housekeeping staff'?"

Have you seen how hawt those housekeepers are in four-star hotels? I mean, c'mon, who hasn't thought that, if only fleetingly? Acted upon? Another story.

undeterredbyreality May 16, 2011 at 1:26 pm

Wot!?! Too much? Too soon?

I was gonna blame the downfister, but apparently I overstepped some secret snark boundary. Doesn't seem that far out of the pale compared to other comments, but…I guess y'all wanna make my p-ness shrink.

glamourdammerung May 16, 2011 at 7:23 pm

No, it is the Breitards.

tessiee May 16, 2011 at 10:21 am

"Have you ever been in some four-star hotel and thought, 'Eh, maybe I’ll rape somebody from the housekeeping staff'?"

No! Absolutely not! The very question is deplorable!

You didn't say anything about those tanned and slutty cabana boys on the beach, though.

DaRooster May 16, 2011 at 6:01 pm

Well… them Cabana Boys aren't easily appalled… "Can't rape the willing" and all that…

kittenbomb May 16, 2011 at 10:25 am

Well, she was pretty much askin' for it, strutting around in those white plastic orthopedic shoes. The guy's only human!!

GOPCrusher May 16, 2011 at 12:56 pm

Be quite honest, I've never seen a member of the housekeeping staff that I would consider having sexual relations with, let alone rape.
But I will steal their towels.

Doktor Zoom May 16, 2011 at 4:53 am

Talk about your double standards! If it had been some rich lady having her way with Manuel the pool boy, the wimmens would be laughing about it in an ad for flavored instant coffee!

jqheywood May 16, 2011 at 8:58 am

Yeah, but Manuel is a guy, and would therefore be wanting it.

QED

riverside68 May 16, 2011 at 9:39 am

It is unlikely that Manuel would be afraid of being beaten up if he didn't submit.

Or that Manuel had lived his life in that fear.

tessiee May 16, 2011 at 10:22 am

"some rich lady having her way with Manuel the pool boy, the wimmens would be laughing about it in an ad for flavored instant coffee"

And this is a problem somehow?
My friend-girls and I always compare the merits of our pool boys and yard men over a nice cup of Mocha Finland.

kittenbomb May 16, 2011 at 10:37 am

I reject your argument completely. The ad would be for wine coolers. Obvs.

weejee May 16, 2011 at 6:00 am

Mmmm. Seems it is also important to have an Air Frawnze jumbo jet double-parked for a quick getaway.

♪♫ Leavin' on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back…♫♪

lochnessmonster May 16, 2011 at 6:29 am

He's a pauper if he doesn't have his own plane…

zhubajie May 16, 2011 at 6:44 am

Hey, he's a Socialist. The other French socialists hate him for his luxurious lifestyle, but….

Steverino247 May 16, 2011 at 8:45 am

Can't sleep it off as easily on a smaller plane?

zhubajie May 16, 2011 at 6:43 am

Were he in a Chinese hotel, the concierge would probably ask him right away if he wanted a woman. Otherwise, phone calls suggesting "massage?" would start pretty. Or if he couldn't wait, he could call the front desk and ask for "an extra blanket." In any case, the cleaning ladies would be safe.

finallyhappy May 16, 2011 at 8:19 am

Wow, so NYC has banned hookers/call girls/prostitutes?

tessiee May 16, 2011 at 10:23 am

Wasn't that in the movie "Lost in Translation"?
[yes, I know that movie was set in Japan, not China]

zhubajie May 16, 2011 at 9:46 pm

I don't know the movie, but I'm sure that Japanese hotels are thesame, maybe kinkier.

tessiee May 17, 2011 at 12:27 pm

It's a romantic movie about how a woman who looks like Scarlett Johanssen wants to fuck a man who looks like Bill Murray.

DemonicRage May 16, 2011 at 7:20 am

A gazillion unemployed people in Spain, Ireland, Portugal and Greece have to wait for their debt restructuring/ bailout, just because this creep was overcome with horniness at the wrong moment.

deanbooth May 16, 2011 at 7:26 am

Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahn!!

metamarcisf May 16, 2011 at 7:44 am

After seeing the photo of this and guy and Obama, I have to ask: Why does the President support chambermaid rape?

SpurningBeer May 16, 2011 at 7:45 am

This is all contrived to distract the world community from the fact that there is a new novel by Ken Layne.

gurukalehuru May 16, 2011 at 7:56 am

Good thing it was Air France instead of Egypt Air and nobody even considered letting him fly the plane.

rocktonsam May 16, 2011 at 8:03 am

The French have hyphenated names?

Birth Certificate.

Naked_Bunny May 16, 2011 at 8:05 am

If it's any consolation, Ken, at least this way there will be a permanent record of your destruction as the internet and your Wonkette "readers" consume your very essence for years and years. Then, when you are a dried husk of a man, we can tut tut about how you worked too hard while leeching at your hastily hired replacement.

I'm glad I could make you feel better.

Ken Layne May 16, 2011 at 12:37 pm

Bunny, I've actually thought all this out, and decided I would rather not give my soul to the Internet. This thing has an off button!

BZ1 May 16, 2011 at 8:07 am

Running for the Prez of France? sexual prowess is a requirement… judging by the former office holders…

BaldarTFlagass May 16, 2011 at 8:08 am

Have you ever been in some four-star hotel and thought, “Eh, maybe I’ll rape somebody from the housekeeping staff”?

Why yes, yes I have.
—Kobe Bryant

horsedreamer_1 May 16, 2011 at 9:03 am

Which makes his admonition of the referee, as a "fucking faggot", that much worse: Kobe & the gays both love to enter thru the back.

GOPCrusher May 16, 2011 at 12:59 pm

Ben Roethlisberger approves this message.

ttommyunger May 17, 2011 at 9:34 am

Not to detract from Kobe's general tendency toward dickishness, but I believe that little cunt wanted it, and more, and she got what she wanted; then and later. But that's just me, and the sperm bank she called panties.

vulpes82 May 16, 2011 at 8:27 am

I'm beginning to think, Ken, that maybe you just need to hand the keys over to Jack and walk away into the desert for a few months again. I hate to see you so unhappy!

Ken Layne May 16, 2011 at 12:38 pm

Oh, I think we all need an intervention.

prommie May 16, 2011 at 4:01 pm

Hey, this pathetic obsessive fake social life I have here, this is actually an improvement over my "real" life. Did you ever think of that? This is a step up for me. Fake life beats no life, hands down.

BlueStateLibel May 16, 2011 at 8:32 am

Servants should be seen and not heard! What is wrong with the world today?!?

riverside68 May 16, 2011 at 9:42 am

Servants should be obscene and not heard!

There all fixed.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 16, 2011 at 8:36 am

I wonder if the INS will step in and deport her. That's the usual solution when an immigrant presents a "problem".

LiveToServeYa May 16, 2011 at 8:38 am

IMF …uh… Idiotic Maid Fuckers?

Steverino247 May 16, 2011 at 8:42 am

Roman Polanski?

randcoolcatdaddy May 16, 2011 at 8:43 am

A rich and powerful creepy old man using women as sex objects?

Where does he think he is? Utah?

BaldarTFlagass May 16, 2011 at 8:52 am

I liked Roger Ebert's tweet on this:
"International Monetary Fund reduced to raping people one at a time."

kittenbomb May 16, 2011 at 10:39 am

They cannot multitask.

BaldarTFlagass May 16, 2011 at 8:56 am

"And we wanted to save the last bit of battery juice to put on the classical station so we could sleep peacefully"

You should try one of those CDs with "rain forest sounds" or maybe "humpback whales humping" or something.

Ken Layne May 16, 2011 at 12:39 pm

No, we like putting some creepy Bartok string quartets on the "sleep program" while fading out.

"Sleep peacefully" is a subjective term ….

BaldarTFlagass May 16, 2011 at 2:07 pm

Watched a show about Leon Theremin last night, definitely not an instrument upon which to compose lullabies.

horsedreamer_1 May 16, 2011 at 9:01 am

Julian Assange?

Texan_Bulldog May 16, 2011 at 9:01 am

Apparently this dude has such a reputation for this, he's called 'The Seducer' — no shit. Unfort. he's got the Ben Roethlisberger syndrome of not knowing what a screaming woman who says "I DON"T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU" means.

tessiee May 16, 2011 at 10:33 am

In my vocabulary, a seducer is a guy who takes you to nice places, compliments you, sends flowers, remembers what kind of books/movies are your favorite, and is generally thoughtful and charming. I don't know who thinks this creep is a seducer, but I'm betting that none of his victims do.

HuddledMass May 16, 2011 at 11:16 am

Eggzackly. Seduction is persuading someone against her better judgement, not forcing her against her will.

This is not a subtle distinction.

TheMeatmaker May 17, 2011 at 12:11 am

So if he wins a Super Bowl, everything will be forgotten?

Doktor Zoom May 16, 2011 at 9:07 am

This proves that Obama is morally weak.

Poindexter718 May 16, 2011 at 9:08 am

Pepe Le Eeew: Come back ma petite scullery maid. You forget to put zee chocolat on zee pillow! Come back or I vill begin dumping bonds on the market and wreck your Guatemalan Quetzal …

FlownOver May 16, 2011 at 9:10 am

Well, OK, then. Put him back on his Air France ride, so he can try to get the cabin attendant to blow him. I mean, it's a cultural heritage thing, innitt?

BaldarTFlagass May 16, 2011 at 9:15 am

Well, at least he wouldn't have to look at those raised-on-non-fluoridated-water gray teeth all them Air France flight attendants seem to always sport.

tessiee May 16, 2011 at 10:38 am

Slightly off topic but worth mentioning:

All the gentlemen of the world are hereby notified that even those of us who enjoy giving blow jobs find head pushing a complete turn-off. Please stop with the head pushing. Thank you.

simplyblue7 May 16, 2011 at 9:10 am

Is this a scene from a Pepé Le Pew cartoon?

Naked_Bunny May 16, 2011 at 9:55 am

No. Those were more about stalking. Adorable, French stalking.

comrad_darkness May 16, 2011 at 1:03 pm

It was just a made-up story though. Know how I know? No skunks in Europe.

prommie May 16, 2011 at 10:39 am

I'm thinking more Benny Hill, rape-as-slapstick.

Chet Kincaid May 16, 2011 at 11:25 am

I despise no "humor" more than Benny Hill, except maybe the Three Stooges.

Gleem_McShineys May 16, 2011 at 1:01 pm

Pokes Chet in eyes, hits him with wrench, kicks him in rump down hole.

THIS! IS! COMEDY!

GOPCrusher May 16, 2011 at 1:06 pm

Love the Stooges. But I never could figure out the big attraction to Benny Hill either. Playing Yakity Sax on an endless loop does not make everything funny.

ThundercatHo May 16, 2011 at 9:18 am

Were all the NYC hookers on strike? Damn unions.

gef05 May 16, 2011 at 9:19 am

So they're remaking The Wrath of Khan?

Frost/Nixon/Robocop May 16, 2011 at 9:21 am

I HEARD ON MY TINFOIL HAT THAT THIS IS IS JUST A PLOY BY THE ROTHSCHILDS TO TAKE MY GOLD AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! VOTE RON PAUL!!!!!!!!

DaRooster May 16, 2011 at 9:32 am

Have you ever been in some four-star hotel and thought, “Eh, maybe I’ll rape somebody from the housekeeping staff”?
What do you think they're there for? She asked if I needed fresh towels and I though she said,"Can you throw me down and force yourself inside me"… my English isn't that good so… simple mistake.

Guppy06 May 16, 2011 at 9:35 am

"hauled off an Air France flight just before departing New York"

He was this close to being home free, yucking it up with Roman Polanski.

comrad_darkness May 16, 2011 at 1:16 pm

Oh, snap.

Steverino247 May 16, 2011 at 9:37 am

As was biting Philip Seymour Hoffman's nose off and setting him on fire. Come to think of it, JLo's lucky to be alive!

horsedreamer_1 May 16, 2011 at 9:49 am

But, we still had to hear all her records, so us, not so lucky.

undeterredbyreality May 16, 2011 at 9:39 am

Just heard an update: He came out of the shower naked, the maid was in the room, he assaulted her there, drug her down the hall and did it again in the bathroom. No details on oral/anal, etc. at this point. Clearly she was asking for it, walking in on him naked & all like that.

Limeylizzie May 16, 2011 at 9:45 am

Apparently he forced the maid to suck the old French coq. Sacre Bleu and what a merde, aussi

lumpenprole May 16, 2011 at 9:44 am

Today we are all lowly proles taking down a randy plutocrat.

horsedreamer_1 May 16, 2011 at 9:54 am

But enough about the Wisconsin Senate recall of Randy Hopper!

fuflans May 16, 2011 at 9:54 am

cheese eating surrender monkey.

prommie May 16, 2011 at 11:46 am

Groundskeeper Willie, is that you?

An_Outhouse May 16, 2011 at 9:54 am

Che?

OldWiseWizard May 16, 2011 at 9:56 am

The only good that can come of this is hopefully it'll prevent another creeptastic article where an American guy waxes poetic about how sophisticated the French are for not caring about silly shit like "consent". Probably not.

tessiee May 16, 2011 at 9:59 am

He'll make it OK by proposing to her at a prayer breakfast.

Jukesgrrl May 17, 2011 at 1:02 am

I regret that I have but one p to give to my tessiee.

xsluggo May 16, 2011 at 10:02 am

But can you blame the guy? As has oft been sung:

“Thank heaven for Hispanic maids
For they clean your room in the most delightful way

Those little eyes so helpless and appealing
One day will flash and send your dick thru the ceiling”

meufchelou May 16, 2011 at 10:06 am

Now he has other allegations to contend with from a French journalist who was assaulted in 2007. Turns out she kept quiet because at the time she was DSK's daughter's best friend. Ahh, the French; who needs soap operas, when we have them around.

hagajim May 16, 2011 at 10:18 am

Dominique Strauss-Kahn, head of the IMF (International Molesting Fucks)..the end.

DahBoner May 16, 2011 at 10:21 am

"Guy in Charge of World's Money"

You would think a guy so good with money would be able, even in New York City, to find a hotel room for less than $3000 a night…
http://www.chortler.com/archives/stories/the-othe

tessiee May 16, 2011 at 10:25 am

Why do I get the feeling that Silvio Berlusconi would have done pretty much the same thing, and then said something like, "Eh, her tits were too small anyway"?

Negropolis May 16, 2011 at 11:27 pm

Burly's smarter than that. He just keeps dropping money on the floor until the girl says "yes." You know, 'cause the bastard's classy like that.

crybabyboehner May 16, 2011 at 10:29 am

Eet ees enough to make me want to move to a deserted subdivision of tract houses in zee Mojave Desert and search for zee elusive Monsieur "B."

ghblowhard May 16, 2011 at 10:30 am

Luke raped Laura on General Hospital and that turned out just fine

horsedreamer_1 May 16, 2011 at 10:44 am

No, it didn't. That show got cancelled.

prommie May 16, 2011 at 11:47 am

Yeah, but it didn't work out so well for Scarlett and Rhett, so it can go either way.

ghblowhard May 16, 2011 at 1:25 pm

50/50 chance of things going well

ttommyunger May 17, 2011 at 9:50 am

"…things going well." – Means no indictments in the man's mind.

Gopherit May 16, 2011 at 10:34 am

The problem with the help these days is that they are too uppity and will say no. No, don't rape me. No, i won't hide that body for you. Really, where has their sense of social norms gone?

prommie May 16, 2011 at 10:39 am

I thought Benny Hill had died. This is straight out of the Benny Hill show. I wonder if he put that music on, the music that always played when Benny would be chasing a chambermaid around the room?

horsedreamer_1 May 16, 2011 at 10:45 am

Yakety Sex!

tessiee May 16, 2011 at 2:09 pm

Then they would have to chase each other on giant tricycles.

tessiee May 16, 2011 at 10:42 am

No, my problem was that for weeks afterward, I couldn't turn on a TV set or pick up a newspaper (hey, it was the olden days!), without being deluged with maudlin sentiment. The first time I saw a newspaper headline that said, "Car Crash Claims Diana", I thought, "Huh. That's too bad.". A week after that, I was so sick of all the coverage, I was ready to dig her up and kill her again.

BTWBFDIMHO May 16, 2011 at 10:43 am

He probably was in the bathroom reading that book promoted by Carla Bruni… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aov-Sg00Spk&fe

Chet Kincaid May 16, 2011 at 11:04 am

He has been charged with "Debt By Surprise."

mrblifil May 16, 2011 at 11:26 am

There's many ways to conduct rape. This guy figured he'd give each a try at least once.

Chet Kincaid May 16, 2011 at 11:43 am

Obviously, he was set up by Dick Wolf.

mumbly_joe May 16, 2011 at 11:54 am

Yeah, well, she was totally asking for it, all dressed in that provocative maid uniform.

–Bill O'Reilly

mumbly_joe May 16, 2011 at 11:59 am

See, this is the thing I don't understand. You're chief of the IMF. You are, literally, in charge of all the money, for the world.

Couldn't you, just, I dunno, pay for it? I know, I know, rape's about power, not just about sex, but again: head of the IMF. Whether this is about sex, power, or some hithertofore unheard-of combination of the two, it literally. makes. no. sense.

Redhead May 16, 2011 at 12:00 pm

"Have you ever been in some four-star hotel and thought, “Eh, maybe I’ll screw somebody from the housekeeping staff. Oh this girl looks nice, I'll do her. And I always get what I want and no one ever tells me 'no' and I'm not sure what that means because I always get what I want." Is this a normal thought, in the minds of the rich and the powerful?"

Yes.

Gunner Asch May 16, 2011 at 12:11 pm

Depends on the 'shroom I guess. My one-and-only peyote experience was very pleasant and mellow, but only after I barfed my guts out. Of course, for all I know I was eating artificially enhanced dried Safeway mushrooms.

tessiee May 16, 2011 at 12:29 pm

Notice how the *woman* with all the money in the world, i.e. Oprah, does *not* assault anybody; she goes shopping in Paris.
I'm just sayin'.

glamourdammerung May 16, 2011 at 12:54 pm

I am not sure what the issue is as this seems to be how the IMF works in general.

glamourdammerung May 16, 2011 at 12:59 pm

The one thing that really perplexed me was the hotel issuing a statement that the maid had never had any discipline issues. I have had bad hotel employees before, and yet somehow raping them never came up as a means to complain about poor service.

chascates May 16, 2011 at 1:31 pm

Ron Paul (on Fox News Sunday) says "These are the kind of people that are running the IMF and we want to turn the world finances and the control of the money supply to them."

GeorgiaBurning May 16, 2011 at 1:39 pm

As opposed to Ron Paul. Some choice. No wonder the Japanese stuff their cash into a box in the closet.

ttommyunger May 17, 2011 at 9:53 am

Not pro-rapist, but doesn't this asshole get the benefit of the doubt, or at least a trial? Paul is a total dick.

tessiee May 16, 2011 at 2:07 pm

That's what craigslist is for.

sezme May 16, 2011 at 2:31 pm

Julius and Ethel Rosenberg?

SaintRond May 16, 2011 at 2:40 pm

If you don't want to get raped, then don't wear a maid's costume. There's absolutely no other reason to wear one. I bought my first one when I was 18 years old and it still fits perfectly!!!

glamourdammerung May 16, 2011 at 4:55 pm
Wilcoxyz May 16, 2011 at 5:35 pm

Stupid French. They think "service" is included in the price. You can tell because he didn't tip.

Negropolis May 16, 2011 at 11:11 pm

Ok, I'll say it. Give me some moar Segolene Royal, por favor.

How fucking stupid do you have to be to attempt to rape someone as the front-runner for the French presidency? Stupid, nasty bastard.

TheMeatmaker May 17, 2011 at 12:10 am

At least we know what the MF part of IMF stands for.

ttommyunger May 17, 2011 at 9:55 am

"…and another one bites the dust." Wonder if the "C" Street Crowd (Coburn-Santorum et. al.) will come to his aid?

dr_giraud May 16, 2011 at 11:13 am

Definitely deported–on the Law and Order SVU version, anyway. Elliot and Olivia will has a sad about it.

Gunner Asch May 16, 2011 at 11:58 am

Saw Hendrix at Winterland in SF in '66. Mostly I remember the hippy passing out ginger snaps in the squooshed-together crowd.

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