“He talks about targeting priorities,” the counterterror official said. “He says the president is of course the top target if you could get a shot at him. Also the military chiefs like the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, the defense secretary, top military people. There is a note indicating that the vice president is not an important target because that position has less weight.”
We presume Biden responded to this news defiantly, challenging that scrawny Obama to step on a bathroom scale and prove he weighs more. Then Biden returned to his vice presidential duty of the day, staining his house’s deck. [ProPublica]
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Literally.
Is Joe Biden gonna have to choke a terrorist?
Biden '12
Joe Biden should be like those MX missiles and ride around the country in a railway car, confusing the Russians.
Joe could confuse…well, just about anyone just by sitting in the same room with them.
because he's a shapeshifting android.
Does he have a cameo in X-Men: First Class?
No wonder Joe sleeps so well… Anywhere he fucking well pleases.
No, that's Newt Gingrich.
Yeah, but as soon as Osama kills the Prez, the Veep gets called up to the bigs and into the crosshairs.
crosshairssurveyors marks!I wonder when he came to that conclusion? Because the LAST VP had, you know, all the weight.
Well look who was "In Charge"… LOL!
Charles?
Imagine Biden's internal monologue upon reading this news: "Yay! Al Qaeda doesn't want to kill me! Hey, wait a minute…."
LIES! HE WAS TRYING TO KILL TRAINS! THAT'S THE SAME AS KILLING JOE!
We keep posting the same comments…is that why we have the same pee? (I hope I don't get pee-nalized for this one)
Could be…..though….beiber? AHHHHH!
Joe is basically Thomas the Tank Engine, basically.
Poor Joe…he don't get no respect.
…and you guys thought bin Laden had no sense of humor.
Really? I thought that's what the plot to blow up trains was all about.
"the vice president…position has less weight" – this may have to be re-evaluated when the Palin – Christie ticket takes office.
Osama targeted Biden with his most insidious plan: to leave instructions saying he wasn't important, thereby ensuring that if the US ever got a hold of them Joe would have a sad.
"Then Biden returned to his vice presidential duty of the day, staining his house’s deck."
Has Biden finished detailing his Firebird yet?
Oh man. Joe's not "Sponge worthy".
Joe's not willing to give them his purity.
but when Darth Cheney was there, it would have been a more weighty choice…
This is proof that Osama got all his news from reading Breitbart’s blog.
John Kerry allowed himself a quick but shockingly violent chortle, before returning to his perpetually boring and stolid statesman self.
Finally! Proof that Joe Biden is really a Muslim. No wonder he does Socialist things like take the train!
Well, to be honest, Terry the Terrorist was just riding his alliterative allure, he never offered anything of substance in any meeting, and was never above taking the last donut.
But still he got promoted before Suzie the Suicide Bomber. Fucking Al Qaeda glass ceiling.
Well, maybe she should've worn her red "power" burqa…the one that showed a little eye cleavage. Do what you have to do, to get ahead, I always say.
I generally try to camouflage my "eye cleavage" (crow's feet) but maybe that's where I've gone wrong!
Sounds like a job for the fantastic four:
Fred Friendship
Umberto Unity
Carla Caring
Karen Kindness
O/T: Article on Ensign investigation by Senate Ethics Committee (Oxymoron Alert!) has this money-quote:
"The resignation came as a surprise because Mr. Ensign had announced in March that he would not run for re-election but insisted that he would serve out what remained of his second term.
“Resigning would be admitting guilt, and I did not do the things that they’re saying,” he said in March.
So he resigned, which to him would be admitting guilt, which means…wait for…he's admitting his guilt!
Huzzah!
Hey, integrity is relative — especially when your relatives have money. Also the Ethics Committe is referring his case to the DOJ, presumably for lying and obstruction. This is one sequel I'm looking forward to.
It is rumored that the committee is talking about expulsion which in the words of Joe Biden (back on OT) is a big fucking deal.
Kill the President, Kill the Joint Chiefs, Kill the Sec Def, ignore the Veep, written sometime in the last 5 years.
Folks, I've been saying Cheney and Bin Laden were in kahootz all along. You're welcome.
Dubya was safe for the same reason.
BUT, Biden is the President of the US Senate! That means he can go over there and tell those Senators what to do.
At least that's what I learned from Sarah Palin's American Civics For Dummies.
Do you mean "Sarah Palin's American Civics BY Dummies?
Bin Laden found out that Joe's middle name is "Robinette." I mean, really, Robinette?
If they take out Barack AND Joe, that means Boehner is president. Even Al Qaeda has standards, guys.
& if they got Boehner too — say, a strike when he & Bammer & Biden are ironing out the government's drowning — we'd end up with another supposedly-American Hawai'ian Brown in the White House.
SHOW US THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE, DANIEL INOUYE.
Trick question: "Hawai'i" wasn't even a state when Danny Boy was born!
What, no mention of Hillary either way? Our Secretary of State can't be pleased about that omission…
She was photoshopped out of the directive–too much sexiness.
Ooooooooooooh Snap!
The directive actually said: "Get Obama, but don't bother with his doddering uncle."
He's just Biden his time.
"The vice president is not an important target because that position has less weight"
This should do wonders for Joe's body image.
whatsthematterwithjoey..leave him alone
The main reason this pissed off Biden is because this news kiboshed his dream of dying in Obama's arms and saying "Isn't that just like a Wop? Brings a knife to a gun fight."
Hey, purdy words!!!1!
They only saw clips of him at speeches… so they thought he was already dead.
I remember when the "worst" thing a "George Bush" had done to this country was spend his whole Vice Presidency playing tennis. ALways keep an eye on those fuckers.
It could be that the Terror Guys know that if they get anywhere close to Biden he will talk them to death. Or, send them to Scranton.
From the picture in the article: What the hell is up with that AK47? It looks like it has a magazine erection.
“He talks about targeting priorities,”
Yeah, and Hitler talked about phantom German tank division right before he punched his ticket to Hell.
Sponge Joe into the 'man safe'
OBL is lying his ass off… Biden loves the train. OBL wanted to nuke a train ergo he wanted to take Joe out.
BTW I bet Joe looks better in his BVD's than OBL
p-ness gobbling downfister alert. AOOGA!
Fixed everybody up… yer welcome.
Obviously, Bin Laden isn't a fan of T.I.
Joe Biden, America's well-meaning but doofus Uncle. Nobody wants to hurt him, avoid him at family functions, yes; but hurt him, no.
Of all the political figures teh Wonkerati skewer on a daily basis, Joe Biden gets my award for "Wonkette victim most likely to laugh at the jokes". Bless his pointy, massive head.
Joe Biden not worth any thing to you? FUCK YOU, TERRORISTS! This is crossing the line.
Doesn't that just frost you? when We're forced to admit that a dead Terrorist has a better grasp of how the US Government really works than most of it's own citizens?
Meow, Osama!
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