YES THAT'S AMERICAN THEY'RE SPEAKING  12:57 pm May 12, 2011

Huckabee Makes Cartoons To Teach Kids Reagan Destroyed Disco Blacks

by Jack Stuef

Think of him as Captain Planet, but he hates the environment and has no ethics!Hey, kids! Do you like learning history but hate it that your teacher never tells you the story of the time Ronald Reagan and Jesus Christ teamed up to defeat the Nazis? Of course you do. America’s Original Fat Governor Mike Huckabee is here with a series of horribly animated cartoons featuring his team of time-traveling kids learning the facts of history the “blame America first” crowd doesn’t want you to know (America should not be blamed for slavery?). Look at that scary black man in the “DISCO” tank top with the knife in the clip below, for example! Ronald Reagan bombed him and made sure disco dancing and black people wouldn’t bother the government ever again. Because our government is for real Americans like you, kids!

Go over to the website and Mike Huckabee will amble right into your browser and talk to you about this for free! But if you stay too long, you will be sent these DVDs every month and your credit card will be billed automatically, so be careful.

So how does this conservative children’s propaganda work?

What does it mean that Learn Our History is “unbiased”?

Learn Our History’s products have been developed to correct the “blame America first” attitude prevalent in today’s teaching. While we recognize that America is not perfect and has never been perfect we celebrate our incredible history with a balanced account of the events that created this great nation. We don’t feel bad about the great things America has achieved – we celebrate our success!

All American success is attributable to Ronald Reagan, by the way. Did you know he was the guy who completely stopped crime from happening in America ever again? It’s true!

Is the history taught from a religious perspective?

At Learn Our History we recognize and celebrate faith, religion and the role of God in America’s founding and making our country the greatest place on Earth. Our videos are non-denominational in nature and can be enjoyed by families with diverse religious beliefs.

Provided they convert to Christianity, that is.

Of course, the question on everybody’s mind:

Are the videos suitable for homeschooling?

Absolutely!

[Learn Our History via TPM]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 228 comments }

hagajim May 12, 2011 at 1:03 pm

Great, just what I need, some fat hillbilly ex-Governor telling me about history (it's pretty easy, just fucking read something)….hell, is this what The Governator is going ot be about, Ahnold telling me about his musclehead take on history? I think I may have to pass.

Swampgas_Man May 12, 2011 at 6:58 pm

If I want Cartoon History I'll read my Larry Gonick collection.

HistoriCat May 12, 2011 at 10:45 pm

So much fucking win – A++

PristineODummy May 13, 2011 at 3:07 am

I think I may have to pass a stone, after listening to that shit.

Chet Kincaid May 12, 2011 at 1:03 pm

I guess it's Robert Smigel who's working DEEP under cover these days.

Gopherit May 12, 2011 at 1:08 pm

As long as he brings back Triumph. I am cool with that.

Arken May 12, 2011 at 1:33 pm

Ah, Ronald Reagan… he was the best president… FOR ME TO POOP ON!

PristineODummy May 13, 2011 at 3:09 am

Damn, I love that dog.

Gopherit May 12, 2011 at 1:03 pm

Hahaha! Time travel! It can only go back 6000 years, but imagine the pictures of Adam and Eve with the dinosaurs! Thanks, Mr Huckabee!

iburl May 12, 2011 at 1:04 pm

You know what else Ronald Reagan was really good at? Having Alzheimer's and being Don Regan's doddering meat puppet.

Beck_is_Trig May 12, 2011 at 7:25 pm

He was also good at consuming jelly beans and forgetting about the time he committed impeachable offenses to aide nun-rapers in Nicaragua cuz commonism is evil and military dictatorz rulez! Oh Ronny, where have ye gone when we need ye? A black man sits in the White House not as a member of the kitchen staff and most people actually think rich people should pay more taxes to fix the deficit! Why, Ronny proved people on unemployment and welfare should be taxed, not gozillionaires! Where's that Reagan optimism to get America to kick people in the ditch while brandishing a smile again? Oh the humanity!

tessiee May 12, 2011 at 10:36 pm

Attacking unions?
Dismantling social services?
Trading arms for hostages?
Presiding over an unprecedented military buildup?
Presiding over an unprecedented transfer of wealth to the richest 1%?

comrad_darkness May 13, 2011 at 10:28 am

You left off quadrupling the federal debt.

EatsBabyDingos May 12, 2011 at 1:04 pm

Even Chuck Norris puts down his wooden dildo when St. Ronnie's name is mentioned.

DaRooster May 12, 2011 at 1:37 pm

Even Chuck Norris puts down his wooden dildo when St. Ron's name is brought up.

(Just practicing my Chuck Norris style writing)

MissTaken May 12, 2011 at 2:02 pm

Even Chuck Norris sets down his wooden dildo when St. Ronnie's name is spoken.

This is not plagiarism, it's America!

Beck_is_Trig May 12, 2011 at 7:28 pm

When St. Ronnie's name is mentioned, even Chuck Norris puts down his wooden dildo.

(I can see it's been a long time since any of you had to creatively "borrow" quotes for college papers and rearrange them so no one's the wiser….by the way, I think Chuckie-boy has a Devry dropout write all of his columns…that's my theory anyway).

tessiee May 12, 2011 at 10:46 pm

We should really come up with three good comments, then copy/paste over and over. That would be fun.

Sue4466 May 12, 2011 at 1:04 pm

Schoolhouse Cracker. Because knowledge is power.

Gopherit May 12, 2011 at 1:09 pm

Because knowledge is secondary to what Huck thinks Jeebus wants.

MissTaken May 12, 2011 at 2:03 pm

Strange, I would've thought that Huckabee would hanker for a hunk of cheese. Going the Schoolhouse Rock route is mavericky!

Swampgas_Man May 12, 2011 at 6:59 pm

And that's — One to grow on!™

nounverb911 May 12, 2011 at 1:04 pm

"Huckabee Makes Cartoons To Teach Kids Reagan Destroyed Disco Blacks"
I thought that was the Chicago White Sox.

metamarcisf May 12, 2011 at 1:05 pm

I'm actually rooting for Mike to win in 2012 so we can all follow the day-to-day antics of those lovable, in-bred, dumb-ass Huckabee boys.

kissawookiee May 12, 2011 at 1:52 pm

I eagerly anticipate the day that they move in with Bristle, Tractor, and Kyle Massey. Just imagine all the chins they could build out of whatever can be sucked outta those two boys.

Steverino247 May 12, 2011 at 1:05 pm

How about you Learn Your Biology or Climatology or Anything Actually Scientific, you stupid fuck.

CalamityJames May 12, 2011 at 4:59 pm

Do you not see what they're doing to history? And you want them to broaden their curriculum?

Beck_is_Trig May 12, 2011 at 7:33 pm

Yeah like this fat fuck can teach science….I mean what is he, a seminary grad? Hahaha…oh fuck, he shouldn't be teaching history, either! Huckabee you lame lardass, when we want to hear some carefully lifted quote from the bible where Jesus condemns poor people so you can justify corporate Christian Fundamentalism, we'll ask you; otherwise, stop trying to "teach" people about subjects you clearly and spectacularly flunked.

Boredw/Gravitas May 12, 2011 at 1:06 pm

You know who else blamed others for all the faults of their nation?

nounverb911 May 12, 2011 at 1:07 pm

Newt Gingrich?

ifthethunderdontgetya May 12, 2011 at 1:28 pm

Sarah Mooselini Bible Spice Caribou Barbie Snowbilly Grifter Palin?
~

jaytingle May 12, 2011 at 1:48 pm

aka Snow Snooki

WhatTheHolyHeck May 12, 2011 at 2:59 pm

[CTRL+C]

Weenus299 May 12, 2011 at 1:32 pm

Great Cthuhlu?

GeneralTapioca May 12, 2011 at 1:33 pm

The Hittites?

horsedreamer_1 May 12, 2011 at 1:35 pm

Le Bloc Quebecois?

Jerri May 12, 2011 at 1:45 pm

Krang?

SorosBot May 12, 2011 at 2:15 pm

Turtles reference FTW! Strangely I've been noticing a lot of classic TMNT references lately; guess it's time for the generation slightly younger than mine to be getting into the nostalgia game.

Jerri May 12, 2011 at 4:18 pm

You'll know it's real nostalgia when people start bringing up that James Bond Jr. cartoon. Fuckin' Cortex, man.

Wait, what just happened?

Troubledog May 12, 2011 at 2:02 pm

The Tea Party! #WINNING

BaldarTFlagass May 12, 2011 at 2:12 pm

Game over.

OhHellToTheNo May 12, 2011 at 2:18 pm

The US Geological Survey?

tessiee May 12, 2011 at 10:50 pm

Most awesome pun of the day.

GOPCrusher May 12, 2011 at 4:51 pm

Benjamin Netanyahu?

Negropolis May 13, 2011 at 3:13 am

Mel Gibson?

DangerHelvetica May 12, 2011 at 1:07 pm

Eh, the Taiwanese do it better.

CliveWarren May 12, 2011 at 1:31 pm

No kidding… You'd think that in this age of pig-rape-animation-technology they could have come up with something more impressive.

ArmoredBore May 12, 2011 at 1:43 pm

Word. I've seen better animation in Second Life and Garry's Mod videos.

slithytoves May 12, 2011 at 1:07 pm

At Learn Our History we recognize and celebrate faith, religion and the role of God in America’s founding and making our country the greatest place on Earth.

That reminds me of the time my Quaker friends went down to the Mass Bay Colony to preach religious liberty and got tarred and feathered and ridden out on a rail. Good times; ain't America great?

Schmannnity May 12, 2011 at 1:07 pm

Oh, talk about forgetting history. The guy raised taxes in California, he was involved in Hollywood, he cut deals with Tip O'Neill (gasp, compromised with Democrats), he engaged in nation building in Grenada and was chased out of Lebanon, and he ran up a $2 trillion deficit back when a trillion was real money. In modern parlance, RINO!

mourningnmerica May 12, 2011 at 2:08 pm

He also knocked up Nancy and was desperate to get rid of her, but couldn't, without damaging his reputation. And destroyed pension funds by letting his boys disable all of the protections against looting them. He ran like a coward out of Lebanon. Scared little bitch. He fathered Michael. Shall I go on?

MissTaken May 12, 2011 at 2:08 pm

Even better: When Reagan was Governor he signed the law legalizing abortion in California.

Funny, you don't hear the Repubs mention that when they bow down at the Gipper Alter.

Troubledog May 12, 2011 at 1:08 pm

After we touched Ronald Reagan's golden penis, we were transported to Simi Valley, where we were ushered through an armoire into a magical land.

Weenus299 May 12, 2011 at 1:44 pm

You either do that or you're prescribed ruhypnol when you come out as a republican.

skoalrebel May 12, 2011 at 1:58 pm

That's just fuckin' GAY, man! [spit] Santorum was right: it starts out gay, but before you know it, Troubledog is all over Ronald Reagan's penis.

Buckminster May 12, 2011 at 1:08 pm

Good Lord, that's a minute and a half I'll never get back. BLEACK!

CalamityJames May 12, 2011 at 5:05 pm

Mine was just a bit longer due to the buffering right in the middle of Ronnie telling Gorbachev to tear down something, and we all know I'm not gonna not finish someth

anniegetyerfun May 12, 2011 at 1:08 pm

We don't feel bad about being massively fat, slovenly jerks who use our dwindling economic power to tell other nations what to do! Why should we feel bad? Our history is so fantastic! I eat puppies.

nounverb911 May 12, 2011 at 1:09 pm

"Do you like learning history but hate it that your teacher never tells you the story of the time Ronald Reagan and Jesus Christ teamed up to defeat the Nazis? "

I thought Reagan and Jeebus rode around on dinosaurs together.

poncho_pilot May 12, 2011 at 1:16 pm

bareback.

Sophist [غني عن ذلك] May 12, 2011 at 1:09 pm

Has he released a video about the conservatives' heroic struggle to prevent liberals from burdening black people with onerous and unwanted voting rights yet?

fundamentallybroken May 12, 2011 at 1:09 pm

Wait, Ronald Reagan was the cure for AIDS, and when he died we just buried him?!? Oh shit, what were we thinking!!

ironhead77 May 12, 2011 at 1:09 pm

Good f*cking grief Charlie Brown!!!

If I could travel time, I'd go back to late 1966 London to see Hendrix do his thing in front of unsuspecting crowds.

But I suppose traveling to December 7, 1941 Pearl Harbor, bombs falling and whatnot could be a great time… err…

poncho_pilot May 12, 2011 at 1:18 pm
tessiee May 12, 2011 at 10:53 pm

I'm going back to 1968, where I shall write and copyright "Stairway to Heaven".
Then I shall have pre-herpes, pre-AIDS sex with Jimi Hendrix. And Syd Barrett.

SexySmurf May 12, 2011 at 1:10 pm

I for one am tired of the Lamestream academia's refusal to teach that a screaming black kid in a red Darth Vader helmet shot John Hinckley with a laser gun.

TheMeatmaker May 13, 2011 at 9:48 am

He'll never impress Jodie Foster with that ridiculous helmet on.

comrad_darkness May 13, 2011 at 10:32 am

And it will be that damn ivory tower dissing you that's the reason you never get tenure. Conform, bitch.

Mumbletypeg May 12, 2011 at 1:10 pm

While we recognize that America is not perfect and has never been perfect we celebrate our incredible history with a balanced account of the events that created this great nation.

" 'Balanced' in what respect, Charlatan?"

MasterDebater May 12, 2011 at 1:22 pm

Is this the same kind of balance that was used to show a woman weighs as much as a duck, and therefore a witch?

DarwinianDemon May 12, 2011 at 1:27 pm

Like we decimated the native populations BUT we let them gamble which, let's be honest, is pretty bitchin' of us.

WhatTheHolyHeck May 12, 2011 at 3:03 pm

It would be bitchin' if we'd only decimated them.

[/anal]

Schmannnity May 12, 2011 at 1:12 pm

That history cartoon was so short even his food vacuum sons were unable to finish their first chili cheese hotdog before the credits ran.

OkieDokieDog May 12, 2011 at 1:12 pm

WE DON'' T NEAD NO EDGUKASHUN!!1

I lik teh part were Huckabe axes Jebus; R U gonna eet that? an than Jebus, seyz no an thann Huckable seyz how kan u have aney puddin if U dont eet ur meet?

OkieDokieDog May 12, 2011 at 1:23 pm

Oh dear. There seems to be another angry downfister. Bob"Not ashamed to be an America"Salem.

Welcome BobSalem. I for one enjoy the furious downfisting. It means I've said something right… or rather, left.

SorosBot May 12, 2011 at 2:26 pm

Bob also pops in to troll now and again, usually on old threads; he's currently stinking up today's Morning in America, and has been reduced to first-grade level insults; he is probably the dumbest troll we've ever had, and we've had some really stupid ones.

CalamityJames May 12, 2011 at 5:12 pm

Unfortunately, he's smart enough to go after my big p posts. And I was so proud of that number.

C'est la vie, upfists for everyone, abortions for some.

GOPCrusher May 12, 2011 at 5:52 pm

I get the impression that Bob probably enjoys a lot of angry downfisting. With one of Dad's Playboy magazines in his sock drawer.

ttommyunger May 12, 2011 at 2:05 pm

Just another Blockhead in the wall.

aguacatero May 12, 2011 at 1:12 pm

The weird thing inside Reagan's mouth is the receiver through which Satan spoke to America.

BaldarTFlagass May 12, 2011 at 1:13 pm

But if you stay too long, you will be sent these DVDs every month and your credit card will be billed automatically, so be careful.
Man, I hate them Time-Life fuckers.

SexySmurf May 12, 2011 at 1:13 pm

Ronald Reagan may have bombed the disco blacks but he did nothing about the disco ducks.

nounverb911 May 12, 2011 at 1:16 pm
MasterDebater May 12, 2011 at 1:22 pm

WIN

SorosBot May 12, 2011 at 1:44 pm

Why didn't he retaliate when Howard the Duck bombed the nation's movie theaters?

CalamityJames May 12, 2011 at 5:14 pm

Howard was a childhood treasure. All this time and I never knew he was muslin.

undeterredbyreality May 12, 2011 at 1:13 pm

When they came for the Reaganites, I said nothing. Because they are all a bunch of history-denying knuckle-dragging idiots who needed to be come for and taken away forever, the end. Also.

Goonemeritus May 12, 2011 at 1:31 pm

I say we make the Reaganites trusties at the FEMA death camps to help control the Tea Party types.

TheSheriffsNear May 13, 2011 at 10:18 am

Reinhold Niebuhr approves this message.

freakishlywrong May 12, 2011 at 1:14 pm

Jesus. I hope the Huck is amongst the first raptured on May 21.

Swampgas_Man May 12, 2011 at 7:03 pm

They have to use two or three Jeebus-rays to rapture that fat-ass.

zhubajie May 12, 2011 at 7:24 pm

Ruptured. Swallowed up by the earth.

kissawookiee May 12, 2011 at 1:14 pm

Are the videos suitable for homeschooling? They aren't books, are they? So, then, yes.

PsycWench May 12, 2011 at 1:27 pm

In my experience, they aren't suitable for homeschooling if they really are suitable for a variety of religious belief. Most of the homeschoolers in our area want stuff that says God Dunnit. But since "range" probably means "from Baptist to Methodist", the homeschoolers are probably fine with it.

mog253 May 12, 2011 at 4:50 pm

Somewhere there are homeschooled kids propped up on the couch, with a bowl of fat snacks, watching this and being told it's history. ugh.

Rosie_Scenario May 12, 2011 at 1:17 pm

And Huckabee and sons are not fat. They are big boned.

freakishlywrong May 12, 2011 at 1:36 pm

"Husky"..

OhHellToTheNo May 12, 2011 at 2:21 pm

I prefer "full of shit". Except they never seem to get full.

Swampgas_Man May 12, 2011 at 7:04 pm

Amazing how they have those big, fat bones in their ass. Along w/ their heads.

Negropolis May 13, 2011 at 3:17 am

The Fuckabees are so fat even their bones are fat.

Maman May 12, 2011 at 1:17 pm

I didn't realize you could learn history through cliches and sound bites. Thanks Huckster!

Arken May 12, 2011 at 1:36 pm

I didn't realize that Reagan got elected president and the Iranian revolution both happened in 1977.

How did Reagan even manage to get elected when it wasn't an election year? He really was amazing!

Maman May 12, 2011 at 1:57 pm

And THAT, my friend, is why you NEED the Huckster…

WriteyWriterton May 12, 2011 at 3:08 pm

Balanced history, just like he promised: facts in one plate of the scale, fiction in the other.

anniegetyerfun May 12, 2011 at 1:17 pm

For a party that seems to love to throw around the term "personal responsibility", you'd think that they would occasionally own up to our country's mistakes.

What's that? Oh, only applies to single black moms? OK.

elviouslyqueer May 12, 2011 at 1:47 pm

Now annie, that's welfare queens to you.

GregComlish May 12, 2011 at 1:18 pm

The DC Neighborhood in the video is actually Petworth, and the 1977 Disco-Knife guy was actually Michael Steele earning his street cred.

Captain_Quark May 12, 2011 at 1:18 pm

Genius! The way to teach kids about what really happened in the past is to tell them a story involving time travel. This is in keeping with the Republican approach to knowledge generally. Want to know about human origins? Consult a collection of iron-age myths featuring a psychotic god named Yaweh. Interested in reducing the teenage pregnancy rate? Show the kids a cartoon about abstinence and how great it is. Wondering about global climate change? Read some science fiction cobbled together by industry-funded "scientists" with degrees in marketing. Got concerns about the economy and how it might be improved? Slog your way through one of Ayn Rand's turgid fictions about oppressed entrepreneurs and how only the rich can save us.

mog253 May 12, 2011 at 4:52 pm

And then get your degree at Patrick Henry University! And go join the Tea-Party and mingle with people who agree with you.

BaldarTFlagass May 12, 2011 at 1:20 pm

"Huckabee Makes Cartoons To Teach Kids Reagan Destroyed Disco Blacks"

Not just the disco ones, methinks.

Goonemeritus May 12, 2011 at 1:20 pm

Based on the 100’s of views they are getting on Youtube these may just edge out the old Gonorrhea film strip on popularity

Chet Kincaid May 12, 2011 at 1:22 pm

I await The Anime Birth Of A Nation.

Weenus299 May 12, 2011 at 1:35 pm

The whole thing devolves into a pokemon contest.

Fare la Volpe May 12, 2011 at 2:22 pm

Grand Dragon, use White Power!

bagofmice May 12, 2011 at 2:38 pm

Investor: How much for the strapping young buck over there?
*mumble*
Investor: It's over 9000?!?!?!?!?

DustBowlBlues May 12, 2011 at 1:22 pm

This shit is always about the history "they" don't want you to know. (Like those quackery medicine books that "they" don't want you to know about).

Okay, Huckster, two can play this game. "They" (being the Republithugs) don't want you to know that Franklin's suggestion they start the daily business of the Constitutional Convention (yes, THAT constitution) with prayer by a local clergyman was met by an awkward silence, then they went on to the business of the day.

No prayers at the convention and not a particularly religious group. No one ever saw Washington take communion.

And they would all be appalled by the suggestion they based anything on the Ten Commandments.

History "they" don't want you to know.

SorosBot May 12, 2011 at 1:46 pm

But those are mere facts; Huckabee wants to teach us history that is "unbiased", meaning biased and filled with straight-up lies.

Gopherit May 12, 2011 at 2:05 pm

not lies…..just the founders real intent…..they were just to skeert of persecution to say what they REALLY meant.

bagofmice May 12, 2011 at 2:41 pm

God-damn those Judeo-Christian traits we picked up from Europe. As with taxes, Ireland should be a lesson for us all.

ShaveTheWhales May 13, 2011 at 4:16 am

Oh, Ben had to be snarking.

Chillwaver May 12, 2011 at 1:23 pm

How about at episode where the kids travel back in time to see Huck pardon cop-killer Maurice Clemmons? What a memorable History lesson!

user-of-owls May 12, 2011 at 3:41 pm

Or when he abolished the terribly onerous $2.25 vehicle inspection fee to liberate us Arkansans from tyranny. Yahoo, no more care inspections! Now we're free to populate our byways with mobile meth labs and cracked steering rods driven by brave, toothless patriots!

Can we go back and see that? Please!?

CapeClod May 12, 2011 at 1:24 pm

Now I'm going to have to unlearn all that crap that Shelby Foote, David McCoullough, Doris Kearns Goodwin, and Cornelius Ryan taught me.

BaldarTFlagass May 12, 2011 at 1:24 pm

Prommie, don't mess with a man with a Wayback Machine. He can make it so you were never born.

prommie May 12, 2011 at 1:40 pm

You know, these things could be bearable if he ended each lesson with some horrendously tortured groaner of a pun; that was the real charm of Mr. Peabody.

bagofmice May 12, 2011 at 2:34 pm

It's true. Mr. Peabody would put it in the end.

SayItWithWookies May 12, 2011 at 1:24 pm

Ronald Reagan is truly our St. Paul, and thus fitting material for this naked and repugnant hagiography. And by "our St. Paul," I mean he's an oleaginous homophobic liar who clearly fell off his goddamn horse one too many times.

Chet Kincaid May 12, 2011 at 1:30 pm

HORSE BIBLE!!! I MEAN, LIBEL!!!

elviouslyqueer May 12, 2011 at 1:50 pm

Close, except that while Reagan regularly fellated Jesus, Paul critiqued Jesus's technique before finally telling him that he was doing it all wrong.

OhHellToTheNo May 12, 2011 at 2:17 pm

This makes St. Paul being the host of the 2008 convention make a lot more sense in hindsight. Oh, St. Paul, you're terrible. Stay on your side of the river.

Negropolis May 13, 2011 at 3:20 am

Paul was the worst thing to ever happen to early Christianity.

samsuncle May 12, 2011 at 1:25 pm

Former Baptist minister Huckabee is a two faced piece of shit. When he is on The Daily show he comes off as a moderate but when he speaks to his base he spews the most far right garbage imaginable. And while I'm at it, another thing that pisses me off is the constant beautification of St. Ronnie of Reagan by the right.

poncho_pilot May 12, 2011 at 1:26 pm

if it was Mitt Romney making these videos they'd require magic 3d glasses. a process Mittens likes to call…ROMNIMAX.

pinkocommi May 12, 2011 at 1:28 pm

Other things I do intentionally to kill brain cells, like drugs, alcohol and sexual asphyxiation, are a lot more fun than watching that video.

Rosie_Scenario May 12, 2011 at 1:30 pm

Scary Reagan face — those teeth/ fangs. Nancy's not going to like it.

poncho_pilot May 12, 2011 at 1:32 pm

the bottom half of his face and head looks like some kind of potato sack/nut sack hybrid…thing.

Extemporanus May 12, 2011 at 1:31 pm

NEEDZ MOAR TENTAKLE RAPE!!1

Tommmcattt May 12, 2011 at 1:52 pm

And some Fillipino underwear models!

bagofmice May 12, 2011 at 2:52 pm

Mr. Taliban, put your hands on these long and hard stingers. You know who must be shot. Deliver the payload so that we can tear down this wall.

GeneralTapioca May 12, 2011 at 1:31 pm

Holy Christmas, without God and Saint Ronald the blacks would be running the place by now! Wait a minute…

SheriffRoscoe May 12, 2011 at 1:32 pm

Reagan "fixed" the economy. So are we back to the theory that deficits don't matter? I need a score card with Republicans.

MissTaken May 12, 2011 at 2:13 pm

Silly Sheriff! Everyone knows deficits only matter when a Democrat is in the White House. When it's the GOP, it's hookers and blow for everyone!

poncho_pilot May 12, 2011 at 1:33 pm

Acommonation?

Weenus299 May 12, 2011 at 1:34 pm

God in America’s founding and making our country the greatest place on Earth.

– You mean the "Greatest Show on Earth?"

Tommmcattt May 12, 2011 at 2:02 pm

Which way to the egress ?

elviouslyqueer May 12, 2011 at 1:34 pm

Yes.

Arken May 12, 2011 at 1:34 pm

I can't imagine why they couldn't find any actual black people to do the voices of black characters…

poncho_pilot May 12, 2011 at 1:36 pm
El Pinche May 12, 2011 at 1:47 pm

Wait, is this Atlas Shrugged Part 2? Where's Mr. Hanky?

Monsieur_Grumpe May 12, 2011 at 1:47 pm

Reagan looks Hispanic in that toon.

HistoriCat May 12, 2011 at 11:11 pm

I thought it was Obama …

SorosBot May 12, 2011 at 1:50 pm

Yep, Reagan saved us all from the crime wave of gay disco-dancing black men. He was responsible for saving us from crime, as this shows: http://www.ct.gov/opm/lib/opm/cjppd/cjresearch/pr

See, crime peaked in 1992, then started to steadily drop the next year; Reagan and his policy of the war on the blacks and their welfare queens obviously deserves the credit for that.

mumbly_joe May 12, 2011 at 1:56 pm

As surely as Bush killed Bin Laden and Clinton did 9/11!

BZ1 May 12, 2011 at 1:50 pm

The Huckster and his pal, David Barton are intent on rewriting history into their own "Christian" scenario, see https://curiouspresbyterian.wordpress.com/2011/04… (Sorry no snark here, even Jon Stewart couldn't make a dent on these two historians/imposters…)

ttommyunger May 12, 2011 at 2:09 pm

Nothing more dangerous than an articulate fool/sellout.

Janinthepan May 12, 2011 at 9:28 pm

Greatest snake oil salesmen around.

jonzin May 12, 2011 at 1:51 pm

What happens to a home schooler who shows up to take college history and has only learned this shit? That must be hilarious!

Gopherit May 12, 2011 at 1:59 pm

Liberty University, here I come!

bagofmice May 12, 2011 at 2:57 pm

Yeah, it was embarrassing.

James Michael Curley May 12, 2011 at 1:51 pm

After spending years claiming 'liberals' were indoctrinating students in schools, the Republicans are doing their best to brain wash them at home.

DaRooster May 12, 2011 at 1:54 pm

Sure, then they can close Public Schools.

DaRooster May 12, 2011 at 1:51 pm

Hey! Guess what… Reagan is dead… oh, and he started us down the road to ruin.
Get over him/it/yourselves.

fuflans May 12, 2011 at 1:52 pm

there's a keith richards joke in here somewhere but as i have spent recent hours cutting 'merry wives of windsor' i have no remaining brain cells.

chascates May 12, 2011 at 1:55 pm

Ah, just like those wonderful Regnery books ("The Politically Incorrect Guide to …") that will teach you real history and enable you to confound college professors and media elites!

baconzgood May 12, 2011 at 1:59 pm

Worst re-make of Ninja Scroll….EVER.

Damn…..I really late on my snarks today. Damn Clients.

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 12, 2011 at 2:00 pm

Thank God for Ronald Reagan. After all, it is well known that Blacks can't dance. Have you ever seen a Black do a good line dance to Billy Ray Cyrus? No. And, what with there syncopation and gyrating hips, can you imagine where this country would be if Reagan hadn't acted.

OhHellToTheNo May 12, 2011 at 2:06 pm

I seen a black person do a good line dance to Billy Ray Cyrus. I was very shocked and quickly wrote a letter to Soledad O'Brien hoping that she would interview that lady on CNN's Black In America: The Reckoning Continues.

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 12, 2011 at 2:44 pm

Was it Alan Keyes?

Negropolis May 13, 2011 at 3:22 am

Are you sure she wasn't a dark-skinned Mexican or a Dravidian?

DerrickWildcat May 12, 2011 at 2:01 pm

And Gorbachev immediately tore down that wall…2 1/2 years later!

Fare la Volpe May 12, 2011 at 2:07 pm

When Reagan was out of office.

It's like when I was walking by the old rundown convention center, and I turned to Bill and I says "Bill, they really need to tear this place down." And six years later THAT'S WHAT THEY DID! Obviously the credit all goes to me.

I saved America.

SorosBot May 12, 2011 at 2:10 pm

And of course, Gorbachev ended the occupation of Eastern Europe and then the Soviet Union because Reagan talked tough to him, not because he realized that Russia was falling apart and the resources it was using to maintain its empire could be better used to try to fix the country. A lesson a certain other superpower still has yet to learn.

OhHellToTheNo May 12, 2011 at 2:19 pm

Do you know how long it takes to tear down a wall with a hammer and a sickle? A long fucking time. Step off!

Fare la Volpe May 12, 2011 at 2:03 pm

Because nothing says "moral" quite like a divorced former union thug actor who bombed half of South America, supported terrorist groups over legitimate governments, and sold missiles to the Taliban. Well done, Mike Huckabee. Well done.

And approve my goddamn comments, you YouTube weasels.

ttommyunger May 12, 2011 at 2:17 pm

Fuck'em if they can't take a joke, Fare.

dizzeeboy May 12, 2011 at 2:05 pm

Anytime I hear "non-denominational" I think of the bar in the Blues Brothers movie where they play "both kinds of music."

ManchuCandidate May 12, 2011 at 2:08 pm

Davey and Goliath were much better than this horseshit.

CrunchyKnee May 12, 2011 at 2:11 pm

Goliath was certainly a bigger wit than Raygun.

SenileAgitation May 12, 2011 at 3:32 pm

Gee, Day-vee…

SorosBot May 12, 2011 at 2:10 pm

But they're Baptists. not Catholic!

MissTaken May 12, 2011 at 2:16 pm

Not that kind of meat Soros!

OhHellToTheNo May 12, 2011 at 2:11 pm

Dear Mike Huckabee:

"THEY" DON'T WANT ANYONE TO KNOW ABOUT THIS "HISTORY" BECAUSE IT IS FUCKING WRONG AND "THEY" KNOW HOW FUCKING STUPID PEOPLE IN THIS COUNTRY CAN BE.

Jay-zus. We don't even have the resources to teach your mouthbreathing children the basics the first time around, let alone correct the asinine lies you insist on feeding them. Go back to plumping your children up with food, in the long run it's a lot less damaging than your plumping your kids up with fucking lies.

Sincerely,
THEM

bagofmice May 12, 2011 at 3:15 pm

You have to understand, letting people think for themselves is very dangerous to the established order. The *garchy, if you would. Changing the order that you have inherited might upset the existing command and control structures. Inheriting your merit is so much more predictable than letting some young brat just develop new life-changing technologies and upsetting the currently invested in order. Just look at what Bush the junior has done for this country. I can't enumerate the thousands, nay, trillions of ways in which he has changed this country.

Begat is why you write a bible people. Duh.

Guppy06 May 12, 2011 at 2:14 pm

"Journey to a time when America suffered from a financial, international and moral crisis."

Think we can be just a little more specific?

EBGrey May 12, 2011 at 2:20 pm

The snarkiest thing I can say about this is that Huck really did attach his name to this trainwreck.

BaldarTFlagass May 12, 2011 at 2:22 pm

"It really doesn't matter. The point is there were these two servants– "

"He's making it up as he goes along!"

EBGrey May 12, 2011 at 2:24 pm

BTW, why does Obama sound like Reagan? Alternatively, why is Reagan black?

Guppy06 May 12, 2011 at 2:25 pm

In the artwork across the top of the page, I see Franklin, Washington… and Reagan.

Seriously?

They should really just go all-out and 'shop his ass into The Signing of the Declaration of Independence or Washington Crossing the Delaware.

bagofmice May 12, 2011 at 2:30 pm

ZombieJesus is a democrat?

Guppy06 May 12, 2011 at 2:32 pm

From the "Origins of WWI" video:

"But in the darkest of days America's greatness shined at its brightest."

It's called "nuclear fission."

mavenmaven May 12, 2011 at 2:34 pm

If Wonkette produced a cartoon with a face of Reagan like that, we'd have all the teabaggers calling Papa John's immediately.

outragedcitizen May 12, 2011 at 2:42 pm

Well, that's a minute and 31 seconds I'll never get back!

loulouroo May 12, 2011 at 2:47 pm

This explains the clearly homeschool quality signs at the Tea Bagger rallys.

bagofmice May 12, 2011 at 2:59 pm

Perhaps in nature, but what about "in nurture". Are you perverting that!?!?

poorgradstudent May 12, 2011 at 3:00 pm

As a History PhD student who actually doesn't do American history (unthinkable!), I hope this branches out. Personally I'd love to have kid-friendly videos arguing that the Renaissance introduced totalitarianism into Western thought, atheists *and* the evils of papists caused the French Revolution, or that Britain circa 1870 was really a workers' paradise.

problemwithcaring May 12, 2011 at 3:02 pm

"Are you talking about time travel?
Correct."

The similarity to the actual language of today's youth is uncanny!

problemwithcaring May 12, 2011 at 3:08 pm

"Learn Our History"

Just for clarity – who is the "our" here – fat rich white racist guys or all of the dumb south?

Lazy Media May 12, 2011 at 3:13 pm

In 1980, there were 1,345.000 violent crimes reported in America. By 1990, that number had plummeted to 1,820,000. You can't explain that.

philpjfry May 12, 2011 at 3:21 pm

Oh my dear god. WTF. Is there really no hope for these assclowns?

Redhead May 12, 2011 at 3:22 pm

do they teach you how to skin, fry and eat squirrels?

user-of-owls May 12, 2011 at 3:36 pm

Did you know he was the guy who completely stopped crime from happening in America ever again? It’s true!

There's nothing you can't do when you've got a guinea mayor and a bunch of bathroom plungers!

joobajooba May 12, 2011 at 3:46 pm

"Huckabee for President, of 1980"

SenileAgitation May 12, 2011 at 3:49 pm

On the site, the excellent Origins of WWII vid shows some white dude protecting a colored girl from Disco Black's alter ego, Nazi Skinhead White in a confusing sequence that seems to skirt the fact that the Jews started it. Look it up. Mike does a fantastic job as spokesman, lurching meaningfully for emphasis against a backdrop of internet text. It is a technical achievement. His sincerity and excitement are infectious, like Hep C or AIDS (NOT from gay sex or illegal drugs, from transfusions!). It made me feel good to know that someone cares enough to counter the misrepresentations and distortions of hate-filled fact mongers intent on bleaching Jesus from our lives, and is guaranteed! They will return your money if you don't like it or catch them in a lie.

CZL May 12, 2011 at 3:53 pm

Footnote: Reagan actually raised taxes, failed to kill Communists because his harebrained schemes fell apart in Central America, and created even more homeless. See Great Lies of Librul History, Some Pussy Intellectual, Pantywaist Press, 2011.

MiniMencken May 12, 2011 at 4:13 pm

As Jay Leno observed around 1982, "People say Ronald Reagan makes them feel good about America. Maybe, but so do two Margaritas."

gurukalehuru May 12, 2011 at 4:20 pm

Or Mr. Peabrain

lulzmonger May 12, 2011 at 4:27 pm

Reagan looks like William Shatner should be hitting him with a styrofoam boulder.

"Mister Gorbachev, tear down this wall! Mister Khomeini, buy more of these Sidewinders! Mister Casey, smuggle in more of this sweet sweet cocaine! AAAAAWWWW YEAH."

L188188 May 12, 2011 at 4:30 pm

Of course, "Shining City on a Hill" was a movie Reagan was in in 1942 with Jane Wyman and he just mixed it up with reality.

Chet Kincaid May 12, 2011 at 4:32 pm

Ayn Rand just does not compute with ANY form of Christian Values, whether its the Huckabee fundie version or the Bono bleeding heart (i.e. "real") version. When are these idiots going to figure that out?

Chet Kincaid May 12, 2011 at 4:35 pm

But seriously, I smell a subversive mole geek in the works. That thing with the brown kid in the disco shirt is so fucking inane it can't be serious. And the Huckleberries are so dumb, they don't get that.

GOPCrusher May 12, 2011 at 4:46 pm

He talked about AIDS, when he gave the order to have it released into the population.

BarackMyWorld May 12, 2011 at 5:07 pm

Yeah, the actual time I spent studying and getting a degree in history was a waste of time. People would rather listen to fuckers with degrees in Religion.

MadBrahms May 12, 2011 at 5:10 pm

"We don’t feel bad about the great things America has achieved – we celebrate our success!"

So this set of videos won't include Korea, Vietnam, Afghanistan, or Republican economic schemes, then.

WinterOuthouse May 12, 2011 at 5:57 pm

T

widget2011 May 12, 2011 at 6:48 pm

I want a cartoon movie from the Huckster on "How the Earth was made". Probably should be required for all mouth-breathing RETARDS.
Explane this:

1. For god so loved the world, he gave his only begotten son (WTF?, your fucking GOD, you mean to tell me you could have only one son? WTF vascetomy?)

zhubajie May 12, 2011 at 7:09 pm

Didn't Gingrich do this years ago?

zhubajie May 12, 2011 at 7:18 pm

Doesn't Huck look kinda like Richard Nixon? Maybe it's the eyebrows….

widget2011 May 12, 2011 at 7:44 pm

Yeah, but he is much fatter.

zhubajie May 12, 2011 at 7:19 pm

His astrologer couldn't find the right moment for the subject.

skytrucker May 12, 2011 at 7:21 pm

Wow. This is most appalling piece of propaganda I've seen since the Soviet era. I never realized Reagan was a communist!

Beck_is_Trig May 12, 2011 at 7:39 pm

Heh….I like Tina Fey-Palin's explanation for global warming, "it's just god huggin' us closer"….that's about as reasonable as any of the "scientific" (oil company provided and paid for…oops!) denier arguments, anyway. To elaborate a little further…my favorite denier arguments are those made by sedimentary geologists that ice cores don not demonstrate warming, even though they don't work with them (hmmm by the way…who do you think employs them?) and teevee weathermen (we're too stupid to read the bluescreen weather report correctly so there's no way anyone else could predict long term weather trends). Just lavish these assholes, they drip with bacon grease and pure, unleaded egoism.

Toomush_Infer May 12, 2011 at 9:28 pm

I love the Hucksterbee's cartoon Raygun – his soft pink gums, his vulpine teeth, eyeless eyes and helmut hair are perfect – what Mr. Know-it-All would do to escape this nightmare I can't think – Gee Whiz….

Janinthepan May 12, 2011 at 9:31 pm

Worst episode of Doctor Who ever.

gullywompr May 12, 2011 at 9:55 pm

Gimme yo munny!

How'd those kids survive that angry Negro criminal without any morals? The cartoon doesn't say…

tessiee May 12, 2011 at 10:58 pm

"I thought disco was the faggots and rap was the niggers" — Guy with trucknuts on scooter

Negropolis May 13, 2011 at 2:58 am

Ah, yes. The Reagan 80's. I remember those (kinda). Yeah, this was when the crack epidemic that decimated my hometown of Detroit – from which is never came back from – unraveled. This is when crackheads were literally running through glass doors and jumping in to houses through closed windows in fucking broad daylight to get something they could sell for a fix. When AIDS was allowed to get past the point where it could have been managable. When you all mockingly held the 1980 Republican National Convention in Detroit. When you actively championed economic policies that bleed from Detroit what little economy it had left. When…well you get the point. All kinds of minority groups were irreperably harmed in that decade, at least for the forseeable future. Entire generations left behind and discarded like trash.

No, GOP. We didn't forget your non-existent urban agenda. Fuck Reagan. You built your entire empire atop the graves of Americans you quite literally at times left for dead. That you lived well into your twilight years and that Maggie Thatcher is still alive while so many died so prematurely during your reigns is proof there is no god.

"Reagan Revolution", indeed. **snort**

/bitterant

Negropolis May 13, 2011 at 3:24 am

They say that you can't serve both God and Mammon. But the Republicans are proof that you sure as hell can try.

comrad_darkness May 13, 2011 at 10:30 am

Monday: substituted corn syrup for food
Tuesday: substituted corn syrup for food
Wednesday: substituted corn syrup for food
Thursday: substituted corn syrup for food
Friday: [don't remember Friday due to diabetic fit]

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