Think of him as Captain Planet, but he hates the environment and has no ethics!Hey, kids! Do you like learning history but hate it that your teacher never tells you the story of the time Ronald Reagan and Jesus Christ teamed up to defeat the Nazis? Of course you do. America’s Original Fat Governor Mike Huckabee is here with a series of horribly animated cartoons featuring his team of time-traveling kids learning the facts of history the “blame America first” crowd doesn’t want you to know (America should not be blamed for slavery?). Look at that scary black man in the “DISCO” tank top with the knife in the clip below, for example! Ronald Reagan bombed him and made sure disco dancing and black people wouldn’t bother the government ever again. Because our government is for real Americans like you, kids!

Go over to the website and Mike Huckabee will amble right into your browser and talk to you about this for free! But if you stay too long, you will be sent these DVDs every month and your credit card will be billed automatically, so be careful.

So how does this conservative children’s propaganda work?

What does it mean that Learn Our History is “unbiased”?

Learn Our History’s products have been developed to correct the “blame America first” attitude prevalent in today’s teaching. While we recognize that America is not perfect and has never been perfect we celebrate our incredible history with a balanced account of the events that created this great nation. We don’t feel bad about the great things America has achieved – we celebrate our success!

All American success is attributable to Ronald Reagan, by the way. Did you know he was the guy who completely stopped crime from happening in America ever again? It’s true!

Is the history taught from a religious perspective?

At Learn Our History we recognize and celebrate faith, religion and the role of God in America’s founding and making our country the greatest place on Earth. Our videos are non-denominational in nature and can be enjoyed by families with diverse religious beliefs.

Provided they convert to Christianity, that is.

Of course, the question on everybody’s mind:

Are the videos suitable for homeschooling?


[Learn Our History via TPM]

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  • hagajim

    Great, just what I need, some fat hillbilly ex-Governor telling me about history (it's pretty easy, just fucking read something)….hell, is this what The Governator is going ot be about, Ahnold telling me about his musclehead take on history? I think I may have to pass.

    • Swampgas_Man

      If I want Cartoon History I'll read my Larry Gonick collection.

      • HistoriCat

        So much fucking win – A++

    • PristineODummy

      I think I may have to pass a stone, after listening to that shit.

  • I guess it's Robert Smigel who's working DEEP under cover these days.

    • Gopherit

      As long as he brings back Triumph. I am cool with that.

      • Arken

        Ah, Ronald Reagan… he was the best president… FOR ME TO POOP ON!

        • PristineODummy

          Damn, I love that dog.

  • Gopherit

    Hahaha! Time travel! It can only go back 6000 years, but imagine the pictures of Adam and Eve with the dinosaurs! Thanks, Mr Huckabee!

  • iburl

    You know what else Ronald Reagan was really good at? Having Alzheimer's and being Don Regan's doddering meat puppet.

    • Beck_is_Trig

      He was also good at consuming jelly beans and forgetting about the time he committed impeachable offenses to aide nun-rapers in Nicaragua cuz commonism is evil and military dictatorz rulez! Oh Ronny, where have ye gone when we need ye? A black man sits in the White House not as a member of the kitchen staff and most people actually think rich people should pay more taxes to fix the deficit! Why, Ronny proved people on unemployment and welfare should be taxed, not gozillionaires! Where's that Reagan optimism to get America to kick people in the ditch while brandishing a smile again? Oh the humanity!

    • tessiee

      Attacking unions?
      Dismantling social services?
      Trading arms for hostages?
      Presiding over an unprecedented military buildup?
      Presiding over an unprecedented transfer of wealth to the richest 1%?

      • comrad_darkness

        You left off quadrupling the federal debt.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Even Chuck Norris puts down his wooden dildo when St. Ronnie's name is mentioned.

    • DaRooster

      Even Chuck Norris puts down his wooden dildo when St. Ron's name is brought up.

      (Just practicing my Chuck Norris style writing)

      • MissTaken

        Even Chuck Norris sets down his wooden dildo when St. Ronnie's name is spoken.

        This is not plagiarism, it's America!

    • Beck_is_Trig

      When St. Ronnie's name is mentioned, even Chuck Norris puts down his wooden dildo.

      (I can see it's been a long time since any of you had to creatively "borrow" quotes for college papers and rearrange them so no one's the wiser….by the way, I think Chuckie-boy has a Devry dropout write all of his columns…that's my theory anyway).

    • tessiee

      We should really come up with three good comments, then copy/paste over and over. That would be fun.

  • Sue4466

    Schoolhouse Cracker. Because knowledge is power.

    • Gopherit

      Because knowledge is secondary to what Huck thinks Jeebus wants.

    • MissTaken

      Strange, I would've thought that Huckabee would hanker for a hunk of cheese. Going the Schoolhouse Rock route is mavericky!

      • Swampgas_Man

        And that's — One to grow on!™

  • nounverb911

    "Huckabee Makes Cartoons To Teach Kids Reagan Destroyed Disco Blacks"
    I thought that was the Chicago White Sox.

  • metamarcisf

    I'm actually rooting for Mike to win in 2012 so we can all follow the day-to-day antics of those lovable, in-bred, dumb-ass Huckabee boys.

    • kissawookiee

      I eagerly anticipate the day that they move in with Bristle, Tractor, and Kyle Massey. Just imagine all the chins they could build out of whatever can be sucked outta those two boys.

  • Steverino247

    How about you Learn Your Biology or Climatology or Anything Actually Scientific, you stupid fuck.

    • CalamityJames

      Do you not see what they're doing to history? And you want them to broaden their curriculum?

    • Beck_is_Trig

      Yeah like this fat fuck can teach science….I mean what is he, a seminary grad? Hahaha…oh fuck, he shouldn't be teaching history, either! Huckabee you lame lardass, when we want to hear some carefully lifted quote from the bible where Jesus condemns poor people so you can justify corporate Christian Fundamentalism, we'll ask you; otherwise, stop trying to "teach" people about subjects you clearly and spectacularly flunked.

  • Boredw/Gravitas

    You know who else blamed others for all the faults of their nation?

    • nounverb911

      Newt Gingrich?

    • Sarah Mooselini Bible Spice Caribou Barbie Snowbilly Grifter Palin?

      • jaytingle

        aka Snow Snooki

        • WhatTheHolyHeck


    • Weenus299

      Great Cthuhlu?

    • GeneralTapioca

      The Hittites?

    • horsedreamer_1

      Le Bloc Quebecois?

    • Jerri


      • SorosBot

        Turtles reference FTW! Strangely I've been noticing a lot of classic TMNT references lately; guess it's time for the generation slightly younger than mine to be getting into the nostalgia game.

        • Jerri

          You'll know it's real nostalgia when people start bringing up that James Bond Jr. cartoon. Fuckin' Cortex, man.

          Wait, what just happened?

    • Troubledog

      The Tea Party! #WINNING

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Game over.

    • OhHellToTheNo

      The US Geological Survey?

      • tessiee

        Most awesome pun of the day.

    • GOPCrusher

      Benjamin Netanyahu?

    • Negropolis

      Mel Gibson?

  • DangerHelvetica

    Eh, the Taiwanese do it better.

    • CliveWarren

      No kidding… You'd think that in this age of pig-rape-animation-technology they could have come up with something more impressive.

    • ArmoredBore

      Word. I've seen better animation in Second Life and Garry's Mod videos.

  • slithytoves

    At Learn Our History we recognize and celebrate faith, religion and the role of God in America’s founding and making our country the greatest place on Earth.

    That reminds me of the time my Quaker friends went down to the Mass Bay Colony to preach religious liberty and got tarred and feathered and ridden out on a rail. Good times; ain't America great?

  • Schmannnity

    Oh, talk about forgetting history. The guy raised taxes in California, he was involved in Hollywood, he cut deals with Tip O'Neill (gasp, compromised with Democrats), he engaged in nation building in Grenada and was chased out of Lebanon, and he ran up a $2 trillion deficit back when a trillion was real money. In modern parlance, RINO!

    • mourningnmerica

      He also knocked up Nancy and was desperate to get rid of her, but couldn't, without damaging his reputation. And destroyed pension funds by letting his boys disable all of the protections against looting them. He ran like a coward out of Lebanon. Scared little bitch. He fathered Michael. Shall I go on?

    • MissTaken

      Even better: When Reagan was Governor he signed the law legalizing abortion in California.

      Funny, you don't hear the Repubs mention that when they bow down at the Gipper Alter.

  • Troubledog

    After we touched Ronald Reagan's golden penis, we were transported to Simi Valley, where we were ushered through an armoire into a magical land.

    • Weenus299

      You either do that or you're prescribed ruhypnol when you come out as a republican.

    • skoalrebel

      That's just fuckin' GAY, man! [spit] Santorum was right: it starts out gay, but before you know it, Troubledog is all over Ronald Reagan's penis.

  • Buckminster

    Good Lord, that's a minute and a half I'll never get back. BLEACK!

    • CalamityJames

      Mine was just a bit longer due to the buffering right in the middle of Ronnie telling Gorbachev to tear down something, and we all know I'm not gonna not finish someth

  • anniegetyerfun

    We don't feel bad about being massively fat, slovenly jerks who use our dwindling economic power to tell other nations what to do! Why should we feel bad? Our history is so fantastic! I eat puppies.

  • nounverb911

    "Do you like learning history but hate it that your teacher never tells you the story of the time Ronald Reagan and Jesus Christ teamed up to defeat the Nazis? "

    I thought Reagan and Jeebus rode around on dinosaurs together.

    • poncho_pilot


  • Sophist [غني عن ذلك]

    Has he released a video about the conservatives' heroic struggle to prevent liberals from burdening black people with onerous and unwanted voting rights yet?

  • fundamentallybroken

    Wait, Ronald Reagan was the cure for AIDS, and when he died we just buried him?!? Oh shit, what were we thinking!!

  • ironhead77

    Good f*cking grief Charlie Brown!!!

    If I could travel time, I'd go back to late 1966 London to see Hendrix do his thing in front of unsuspecting crowds.

    But I suppose traveling to December 7, 1941 Pearl Harbor, bombs falling and whatnot could be a great time… err…

    • poncho_pilot
    • tessiee

      I'm going back to 1968, where I shall write and copyright "Stairway to Heaven".
      Then I shall have pre-herpes, pre-AIDS sex with Jimi Hendrix. And Syd Barrett.

  • SexySmurf

    I for one am tired of the Lamestream academia's refusal to teach that a screaming black kid in a red Darth Vader helmet shot John Hinckley with a laser gun.

    • TheMeatmaker

      He'll never impress Jodie Foster with that ridiculous helmet on.

    • comrad_darkness

      And it will be that damn ivory tower dissing you that's the reason you never get tenure. Conform, bitch.

  • Mumbletypeg

    While we recognize that America is not perfect and has never been perfect we celebrate our incredible history with a balanced account of the events that created this great nation.

    " 'Balanced' in what respect, Charlatan?"

    • MasterDebater

      Is this the same kind of balance that was used to show a woman weighs as much as a duck, and therefore a witch?

    • DarwinianDemon

      Like we decimated the native populations BUT we let them gamble which, let's be honest, is pretty bitchin' of us.

      • WhatTheHolyHeck

        It would be bitchin' if we'd only decimated them.


  • Schmannnity

    That history cartoon was so short even his food vacuum sons were unable to finish their first chili cheese hotdog before the credits ran.

  • OkieDokieDog


    I lik teh part were Huckabe axes Jebus; R U gonna eet that? an than Jebus, seyz no an thann Huckable seyz how kan u have aney puddin if U dont eet ur meet?

    • OkieDokieDog

      Oh dear. There seems to be another angry downfister. Bob"Not ashamed to be an America"Salem.

      Welcome BobSalem. I for one enjoy the furious downfisting. It means I've said something right… or rather, left.

      • SorosBot

        Bob also pops in to troll now and again, usually on old threads; he's currently stinking up today's Morning in America, and has been reduced to first-grade level insults; he is probably the dumbest troll we've ever had, and we've had some really stupid ones.

        • CalamityJames

          Unfortunately, he's smart enough to go after my big p posts. And I was so proud of that number.

          C'est la vie, upfists for everyone, abortions for some.

      • GOPCrusher

        I get the impression that Bob probably enjoys a lot of angry downfisting. With one of Dad's Playboy magazines in his sock drawer.

    • ttommyunger

      Just another Blockhead in the wall.

  • aguacatero

    The weird thing inside Reagan's mouth is the receiver through which Satan spoke to America.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    But if you stay too long, you will be sent these DVDs every month and your credit card will be billed automatically, so be careful.
    Man, I hate them Time-Life fuckers.

  • SexySmurf

    Ronald Reagan may have bombed the disco blacks but he did nothing about the disco ducks.

    • nounverb911
      • MasterDebater


      • SorosBot

        Why didn't he retaliate when Howard the Duck bombed the nation's movie theaters?

        • CalamityJames

          Howard was a childhood treasure. All this time and I never knew he was muslin.

  • undeterredbyreality

    When they came for the Reaganites, I said nothing. Because they are all a bunch of history-denying knuckle-dragging idiots who needed to be come for and taken away forever, the end. Also.

    • Goonemeritus

      I say we make the Reaganites trusties at the FEMA death camps to help control the Tea Party types.

    • TheSheriffsNear

      Reinhold Niebuhr approves this message.

  • freakishlywrong

    Jesus. I hope the Huck is amongst the first raptured on May 21.

    • Swampgas_Man

      They have to use two or three Jeebus-rays to rapture that fat-ass.

    • zhubajie

      Ruptured. Swallowed up by the earth.

  • kissawookiee

    Are the videos suitable for homeschooling? They aren't books, are they? So, then, yes.

    • PsycWench

      In my experience, they aren't suitable for homeschooling if they really are suitable for a variety of religious belief. Most of the homeschoolers in our area want stuff that says God Dunnit. But since "range" probably means "from Baptist to Methodist", the homeschoolers are probably fine with it.

    • mog253

      Somewhere there are homeschooled kids propped up on the couch, with a bowl of fat snacks, watching this and being told it's history. ugh.

  • Rosie_Scenario

    And Huckabee and sons are not fat. They are big boned.

    • freakishlywrong


    • OhHellToTheNo

      I prefer "full of shit". Except they never seem to get full.

    • Swampgas_Man

      Amazing how they have those big, fat bones in their ass. Along w/ their heads.

    • Negropolis

      The Fuckabees are so fat even their bones are fat.

  • I didn't realize you could learn history through cliches and sound bites. Thanks Huckster!

    • Arken

      I didn't realize that Reagan got elected president and the Iranian revolution both happened in 1977.

      How did Reagan even manage to get elected when it wasn't an election year? He really was amazing!

      • And THAT, my friend, is why you NEED the Huckster…

      • WriteyWriterton

        Balanced history, just like he promised: facts in one plate of the scale, fiction in the other.

  • anniegetyerfun

    For a party that seems to love to throw around the term "personal responsibility", you'd think that they would occasionally own up to our country's mistakes.

    What's that? Oh, only applies to single black moms? OK.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Now annie, that's welfare queens to you.

  • GregComlish

    The DC Neighborhood in the video is actually Petworth, and the 1977 Disco-Knife guy was actually Michael Steele earning his street cred.

  • Captain_Quark

    Genius! The way to teach kids about what really happened in the past is to tell them a story involving time travel. This is in keeping with the Republican approach to knowledge generally. Want to know about human origins? Consult a collection of iron-age myths featuring a psychotic god named Yaweh. Interested in reducing the teenage pregnancy rate? Show the kids a cartoon about abstinence and how great it is. Wondering about global climate change? Read some science fiction cobbled together by industry-funded "scientists" with degrees in marketing. Got concerns about the economy and how it might be improved? Slog your way through one of Ayn Rand's turgid fictions about oppressed entrepreneurs and how only the rich can save us.

    • mog253

      And then get your degree at Patrick Henry University! And go join the Tea-Party and mingle with people who agree with you.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "Huckabee Makes Cartoons To Teach Kids Reagan Destroyed Disco Blacks"

    Not just the disco ones, methinks.

  • Goonemeritus

    Based on the 100’s of views they are getting on Youtube these may just edge out the old Gonorrhea film strip on popularity

  • I await The Anime Birth Of A Nation.

    • Weenus299

      The whole thing devolves into a pokemon contest.

      • Fare la Volpe

        Grand Dragon, use White Power!

    • bagofmice

      Investor: How much for the strapping young buck over there?
      Investor: It's over 9000?!?!?!?!?

  • DustBowlBlues

    This shit is always about the history "they" don't want you to know. (Like those quackery medicine books that "they" don't want you to know about).

    Okay, Huckster, two can play this game. "They" (being the Republithugs) don't want you to know that Franklin's suggestion they start the daily business of the Constitutional Convention (yes, THAT constitution) with prayer by a local clergyman was met by an awkward silence, then they went on to the business of the day.

    No prayers at the convention and not a particularly religious group. No one ever saw Washington take communion.

    And they would all be appalled by the suggestion they based anything on the Ten Commandments.

    History "they" don't want you to know.

    • SorosBot

      But those are mere facts; Huckabee wants to teach us history that is "unbiased", meaning biased and filled with straight-up lies.

      • Gopherit

        not lies…..just the founders real intent…..they were just to skeert of persecution to say what they REALLY meant.

        • bagofmice

          God-damn those Judeo-Christian traits we picked up from Europe. As with taxes, Ireland should be a lesson for us all.

    • ShaveTheWhales

      Oh, Ben had to be snarking.

  • How about at episode where the kids travel back in time to see Huck pardon cop-killer Maurice Clemmons? What a memorable History lesson!

    • user-of-owls

      Or when he abolished the terribly onerous $2.25 vehicle inspection fee to liberate us Arkansans from tyranny. Yahoo, no more care inspections! Now we're free to populate our byways with mobile meth labs and cracked steering rods driven by brave, toothless patriots!

      Can we go back and see that? Please!?

  • CapeClod

    Now I'm going to have to unlearn all that crap that Shelby Foote, David McCoullough, Doris Kearns Goodwin, and Cornelius Ryan taught me.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Prommie, don't mess with a man with a Wayback Machine. He can make it so you were never born.

    • prommie

      You know, these things could be bearable if he ended each lesson with some horrendously tortured groaner of a pun; that was the real charm of Mr. Peabody.

      • bagofmice

        It's true. Mr. Peabody would put it in the end.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Ronald Reagan is truly our St. Paul, and thus fitting material for this naked and repugnant hagiography. And by "our St. Paul," I mean he's an oleaginous homophobic liar who clearly fell off his goddamn horse one too many times.


    • elviouslyqueer

      Close, except that while Reagan regularly fellated Jesus, Paul critiqued Jesus's technique before finally telling him that he was doing it all wrong.

    • OhHellToTheNo

      This makes St. Paul being the host of the 2008 convention make a lot more sense in hindsight. Oh, St. Paul, you're terrible. Stay on your side of the river.

    • Negropolis

      Paul was the worst thing to ever happen to early Christianity.

  • samsuncle

    Former Baptist minister Huckabee is a two faced piece of shit. When he is on The Daily show he comes off as a moderate but when he speaks to his base he spews the most far right garbage imaginable. And while I'm at it, another thing that pisses me off is the constant beautification of St. Ronnie of Reagan by the right.

  • poncho_pilot

    if it was Mitt Romney making these videos they'd require magic 3d glasses. a process Mittens likes to call…ROMNIMAX.

  • pinkocommi

    Other things I do intentionally to kill brain cells, like drugs, alcohol and sexual asphyxiation, are a lot more fun than watching that video.

  • Rosie_Scenario

    Scary Reagan face — those teeth/ fangs. Nancy's not going to like it.

    • poncho_pilot

      the bottom half of his face and head looks like some kind of potato sack/nut sack hybrid…thing.

  • Extemporanus


    • Tommmcattt

      And some Fillipino underwear models!

    • bagofmice

      Mr. Taliban, put your hands on these long and hard stingers. You know who must be shot. Deliver the payload so that we can tear down this wall.

  • GeneralTapioca

    Holy Christmas, without God and Saint Ronald the blacks would be running the place by now! Wait a minute…

  • SheriffRoscoe

    Reagan "fixed" the economy. So are we back to the theory that deficits don't matter? I need a score card with Republicans.

    • MissTaken

      Silly Sheriff! Everyone knows deficits only matter when a Democrat is in the White House. When it's the GOP, it's hookers and blow for everyone!

  • poncho_pilot


  • Weenus299

    God in America’s founding and making our country the greatest place on Earth.

    — You mean the "Greatest Show on Earth?"

    • Tommmcattt

      Which way to the egress ?

  • elviouslyqueer


  • Arken

    I can't imagine why they couldn't find any actual black people to do the voices of black characters…

  • poncho_pilot
  • El Pinche

    Wait, is this Atlas Shrugged Part 2? Where's Mr. Hanky?

  • Reagan looks Hispanic in that toon.

    • HistoriCat

      I thought it was Obama …

  • SorosBot

    Yep, Reagan saved us all from the crime wave of gay disco-dancing black men. He was responsible for saving us from crime, as this shows:

    See, crime peaked in 1992, then started to steadily drop the next year; Reagan and his policy of the war on the blacks and their welfare queens obviously deserves the credit for that.

    • mumbly_joe

      As surely as Bush killed Bin Laden and Clinton did 9/11!

  • BZ1

    The Huckster and his pal, David Barton are intent on rewriting history into their own "Christian" scenario, see… (Sorry no snark here, even Jon Stewart couldn't make a dent on these two historians/imposters…)

    • ttommyunger

      Nothing more dangerous than an articulate fool/sellout.

    • Janinthepan

      Greatest snake oil salesmen around.

  • jonzin

    What happens to a home schooler who shows up to take college history and has only learned this shit? That must be hilarious!

    • Gopherit

      Liberty University, here I come!

    • bagofmice

      Yeah, it was embarrassing.

  • James Michael Curley

    After spending years claiming 'liberals' were indoctrinating students in schools, the Republicans are doing their best to brain wash them at home.

    • DaRooster

      Sure, then they can close Public Schools.

  • DaRooster

    Hey! Guess what… Reagan is dead… oh, and he started us down the road to ruin.
    Get over him/it/yourselves.

  • fuflans

    there's a keith richards joke in here somewhere but as i have spent recent hours cutting 'merry wives of windsor' i have no remaining brain cells.

  • chascates

    Ah, just like those wonderful Regnery books ("The Politically Incorrect Guide to …") that will teach you real history and enable you to confound college professors and media elites!

  • baconzgood

    Worst re-make of Ninja Scroll….EVER.

    Damn…..I really late on my snarks today. Damn Clients.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Thank God for Ronald Reagan. After all, it is well known that Blacks can't dance. Have you ever seen a Black do a good line dance to Billy Ray Cyrus? No. And, what with there syncopation and gyrating hips, can you imagine where this country would be if Reagan hadn't acted.

    • OhHellToTheNo

      I seen a black person do a good line dance to Billy Ray Cyrus. I was very shocked and quickly wrote a letter to Soledad O'Brien hoping that she would interview that lady on CNN's Black In America: The Reckoning Continues.

      • Lionel[redacted]Esq

        Was it Alan Keyes?

      • Negropolis

        Are you sure she wasn't a dark-skinned Mexican or a Dravidian?

  • And Gorbachev immediately tore down that wall…2 1/2 years later!

    • Fare la Volpe

      When Reagan was out of office.

      It's like when I was walking by the old rundown convention center, and I turned to Bill and I says "Bill, they really need to tear this place down." And six years later THAT'S WHAT THEY DID! Obviously the credit all goes to me.

      I saved America.

      • SorosBot

        And of course, Gorbachev ended the occupation of Eastern Europe and then the Soviet Union because Reagan talked tough to him, not because he realized that Russia was falling apart and the resources it was using to maintain its empire could be better used to try to fix the country. A lesson a certain other superpower still has yet to learn.

    • OhHellToTheNo

      Do you know how long it takes to tear down a wall with a hammer and a sickle? A long fucking time. Step off!

  • Fare la Volpe

    Because nothing says "moral" quite like a divorced former union thug actor who bombed half of South America, supported terrorist groups over legitimate governments, and sold missiles to the Taliban. Well done, Mike Huckabee. Well done.

    And approve my goddamn comments, you YouTube weasels.

    • ttommyunger

      Fuck'em if they can't take a joke, Fare.

  • dizzeeboy

    Anytime I hear "non-denominational" I think of the bar in the Blues Brothers movie where they play "both kinds of music."

  • Davey and Goliath were much better than this horseshit.

    • CrunchyKnee

      Goliath was certainly a bigger wit than Raygun.

      • SenileAgitation

        Gee, Day-vee…

  • SorosBot

    But they're Baptists. not Catholic!

    • MissTaken

      Not that kind of meat Soros!

  • OhHellToTheNo

    Dear Mike Huckabee:


    Jay-zus. We don't even have the resources to teach your mouthbreathing children the basics the first time around, let alone correct the asinine lies you insist on feeding them. Go back to plumping your children up with food, in the long run it's a lot less damaging than your plumping your kids up with fucking lies.


    • bagofmice

      You have to understand, letting people think for themselves is very dangerous to the established order. The *garchy, if you would. Changing the order that you have inherited might upset the existing command and control structures. Inheriting your merit is so much more predictable than letting some young brat just develop new life-changing technologies and upsetting the currently invested in order. Just look at what Bush the junior has done for this country. I can't enumerate the thousands, nay, trillions of ways in which he has changed this country.

      Begat is why you write a bible people. Duh.

  • Guppy06

    "Journey to a time when America suffered from a financial, international and moral crisis."

    Think we can be just a little more specific?

  • EBGrey

    The snarkiest thing I can say about this is that Huck really did attach his name to this trainwreck.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "It really doesn't matter. The point is there were these two servants– "

    "He's making it up as he goes along!"

  • EBGrey

    BTW, why does Obama sound like Reagan? Alternatively, why is Reagan black?

  • Guppy06

    In the artwork across the top of the page, I see Franklin, Washington… and Reagan.


    They should really just go all-out and 'shop his ass into The Signing of the Declaration of Independence or Washington Crossing the Delaware.

  • bagofmice

    ZombieJesus is a democrat?

  • Guppy06

    From the "Origins of WWI" video:

    "But in the darkest of days America's greatness shined at its brightest."

    It's called "nuclear fission."

  • mavenmaven

    If Wonkette produced a cartoon with a face of Reagan like that, we'd have all the teabaggers calling Papa John's immediately.

  • Well, that's a minute and 31 seconds I'll never get back!

  • loulouroo

    This explains the clearly homeschool quality signs at the Tea Bagger rallys.

  • bagofmice

    Perhaps in nature, but what about "in nurture". Are you perverting that!?!?

  • poorgradstudent

    As a History PhD student who actually doesn't do American history (unthinkable!), I hope this branches out. Personally I'd love to have kid-friendly videos arguing that the Renaissance introduced totalitarianism into Western thought, atheists *and* the evils of papists caused the French Revolution, or that Britain circa 1870 was really a workers' paradise.

  • problemwithcaring

    "Are you talking about time travel?

    The similarity to the actual language of today's youth is uncanny!

  • problemwithcaring

    "Learn Our History"

    Just for clarity – who is the "our" here – fat rich white racist guys or all of the dumb south?

  • Lazy Media

    In 1980, there were 1,345.000 violent crimes reported in America. By 1990, that number had plummeted to 1,820,000. You can't explain that.

  • philpjfry

    Oh my dear god. WTF. Is there really no hope for these assclowns?

  • Redhead

    do they teach you how to skin, fry and eat squirrels?

  • user-of-owls

    Did you know he was the guy who completely stopped crime from happening in America ever again? It’s true!

    There's nothing you can't do when you've got a guinea mayor and a bunch of bathroom plungers!

  • joobajooba

    "Huckabee for President, of 1980"

  • SenileAgitation

    On the site, the excellent Origins of WWII vid shows some white dude protecting a colored girl from Disco Black's alter ego, Nazi Skinhead White in a confusing sequence that seems to skirt the fact that the Jews started it. Look it up. Mike does a fantastic job as spokesman, lurching meaningfully for emphasis against a backdrop of internet text. It is a technical achievement. His sincerity and excitement are infectious, like Hep C or AIDS (NOT from gay sex or illegal drugs, from transfusions!). It made me feel good to know that someone cares enough to counter the misrepresentations and distortions of hate-filled fact mongers intent on bleaching Jesus from our lives, and is guaranteed! They will return your money if you don't like it or catch them in a lie.

  • CZL

    Footnote: Reagan actually raised taxes, failed to kill Communists because his harebrained schemes fell apart in Central America, and created even more homeless. See Great Lies of Librul History, Some Pussy Intellectual, Pantywaist Press, 2011.

  • MiniMencken

    As Jay Leno observed around 1982, "People say Ronald Reagan makes them feel good about America. Maybe, but so do two Margaritas."

  • Or Mr. Peabrain

  • lulzmonger

    Reagan looks like William Shatner should be hitting him with a styrofoam boulder.

    "Mister Gorbachev, tear down this wall! Mister Khomeini, buy more of these Sidewinders! Mister Casey, smuggle in more of this sweet sweet cocaine! AAAAAWWWW YEAH."

  • L188188

    Of course, "Shining City on a Hill" was a movie Reagan was in in 1942 with Jane Wyman and he just mixed it up with reality.

  • Ayn Rand just does not compute with ANY form of Christian Values, whether its the Huckabee fundie version or the Bono bleeding heart (i.e. "real") version. When are these idiots going to figure that out?

  • But seriously, I smell a subversive mole geek in the works. That thing with the brown kid in the disco shirt is so fucking inane it can't be serious. And the Huckleberries are so dumb, they don't get that.

  • GOPCrusher

    He talked about AIDS, when he gave the order to have it released into the population.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Yeah, the actual time I spent studying and getting a degree in history was a waste of time. People would rather listen to fuckers with degrees in Religion.

  • MadBrahms

    "We don’t feel bad about the great things America has achieved – we celebrate our success!"

    So this set of videos won't include Korea, Vietnam, Afghanistan, or Republican economic schemes, then.

  • WinterOuthouse


  • widget2011

    I want a cartoon movie from the Huckster on "How the Earth was made". Probably should be required for all mouth-breathing RETARDS.
    Explane this:

    1. For god so loved the world, he gave his only begotten son (WTF?, your fucking GOD, you mean to tell me you could have only one son? WTF vascetomy?)

  • zhubajie

    Didn't Gingrich do this years ago?

  • zhubajie

    Doesn't Huck look kinda like Richard Nixon? Maybe it's the eyebrows….

    • widget2011

      Yeah, but he is much fatter.

  • zhubajie

    His astrologer couldn't find the right moment for the subject.

  • skytrucker

    Wow. This is most appalling piece of propaganda I've seen since the Soviet era. I never realized Reagan was a communist!

  • Beck_is_Trig

    Heh….I like Tina Fey-Palin's explanation for global warming, "it's just god huggin' us closer"….that's about as reasonable as any of the "scientific" (oil company provided and paid for…oops!) denier arguments, anyway. To elaborate a little further…my favorite denier arguments are those made by sedimentary geologists that ice cores don not demonstrate warming, even though they don't work with them (hmmm by the way…who do you think employs them?) and teevee weathermen (we're too stupid to read the bluescreen weather report correctly so there's no way anyone else could predict long term weather trends). Just lavish these assholes, they drip with bacon grease and pure, unleaded egoism.

  • Toomush_Infer

    I love the Hucksterbee's cartoon Raygun – his soft pink gums, his vulpine teeth, eyeless eyes and helmut hair are perfect – what Mr. Know-it-All would do to escape this nightmare I can't think – Gee Whiz….

  • Janinthepan

    Worst episode of Doctor Who ever.

  • gullywompr

    Gimme yo munny!

    How'd those kids survive that angry Negro criminal without any morals? The cartoon doesn't say…

  • tessiee

    "I thought disco was the faggots and rap was the niggers" — Guy with trucknuts on scooter

  • Negropolis

    Ah, yes. The Reagan 80's. I remember those (kinda). Yeah, this was when the crack epidemic that decimated my hometown of Detroit – from which is never came back from – unraveled. This is when crackheads were literally running through glass doors and jumping in to houses through closed windows in fucking broad daylight to get something they could sell for a fix. When AIDS was allowed to get past the point where it could have been managable. When you all mockingly held the 1980 Republican National Convention in Detroit. When you actively championed economic policies that bleed from Detroit what little economy it had left. When…well you get the point. All kinds of minority groups were irreperably harmed in that decade, at least for the forseeable future. Entire generations left behind and discarded like trash.

    No, GOP. We didn't forget your non-existent urban agenda. Fuck Reagan. You built your entire empire atop the graves of Americans you quite literally at times left for dead. That you lived well into your twilight years and that Maggie Thatcher is still alive while so many died so prematurely during your reigns is proof there is no god.

    "Reagan Revolution", indeed. **snort**


  • Negropolis

    They say that you can't serve both God and Mammon. But the Republicans are proof that you sure as hell can try.

  • comrad_darkness

    Monday: substituted corn syrup for food
    Tuesday: substituted corn syrup for food
    Wednesday: substituted corn syrup for food
    Thursday: substituted corn syrup for food
    Friday: [don't remember Friday due to diabetic fit]

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