Hey, kids! Do you like learning history but hate it that your teacher never tells you the story of the time Ronald Reagan and Jesus Christ teamed up to defeat the Nazis? Of course you do. America's Original Fat Governor Mike Huckabee is here with a series of horribly animated cartoons featuring his team of time-traveling kids learning the facts of history the "blame America first" crowd doesn't want you to know (America should not be blamed for slavery?). Look at that scary black man in the "DISCO" tank top with the knife in the clip below, for example! Ronald Reagan bombed him and made sure disco dancing and black people wouldn't bother the government ever again. Because our government is for real Americans like you, kids!
Go over to the website and Mike Huckabee will amble right into your browser and talk to you about this for free! But if you stay too long, you will be sent these DVDs every month and your credit card will be billed automatically, so be careful.
So how does this conservative children's propaganda work?
What does it mean that Learn Our History is “unbiased”?
Learn Our History’s products have been developed to correct the “blame America first” attitude prevalent in today’s teaching. While we recognize that America is not perfect and has never been perfect we celebrate our incredible history with a balanced account of the events that created this great nation. We don’t feel bad about the great things America has achieved – we celebrate our success!
All American success is attributable to Ronald Reagan, by the way. Did you know he was the guy who completely stopped crime from happening in America ever again? It's true!
Is the history taught from a religious perspective?
At Learn Our History we recognize and celebrate faith, religion and the role of God in America's founding and making our country the greatest place on Earth. Our videos are non-denominational in nature and can be enjoyed by families with diverse religious beliefs.
Provided they convert to Christianity, that is.
Of course, the question on everybody's mind:
Are the videos suitable for homeschooling?
Absolutely!
[ Learn Our History via TPM ]
Yeah, the actual time I spent studying and getting a degree in history was a waste of time. People would rather listen to fuckers with degrees in Religion.
If I want Cartoon History I'll read my Larry Gonick collection.