INTELLECTUAL/COMEDY HEAVYWEIGHTS  11:23 am May 12, 2011

Meghan McCain Writes Jokes About Glenn Beck Criticizing Her Naked Body

by Jack Stuef

If you don't want to have sex with her, don't say anything at all.America, we are in a time of national crisis. The worst has happened: Glenn Beck tried to make some jokes about Meghan McCain, and in response, Meghan McCain tried to make some jokes about Glenn Beck. Beck, you see, thought that confusing PSA of Meghan McCain appearing naked on a rooftop with a collection of forgotten ’90s teen actresses was gross. Here was the king of the Jews’ joke: He pretended to vomit. And here was the rich people’s daughter’s response: “But the thing is, Glenn, I wasn’t really naked and I know the idea of me being naked caused you to vomit on your radio show for 10 minutes.” Ooh! She knows the idea! Great sentence! “By the way,” she writes later, “you should really see a doctor because it isn’t normal to vomit for that long.” Meghan McCain is a vomit connoisseur and will turn her nose up at anyone who doesn’t vomit her way.

A few months ago, I filmed a PSA for skin cancer awareness where I posed in a strapless Juicy dress to appear “naked,” as a metaphor for the dangers of going out in the sun without sunscreen. I thought that pretending to be naked (even if I only disrobed to my collar bone) would hopefully call attention to skin cancer, a disease that both my parents have suffered from.

Haha, somebody at that skin cancer place told Meghan McCain that all those ladies appearing naked wasn’t to draw media attention to the cause, it was a METAPHOR. Meghan McCain’s body is practically Shakespearian its meaning is so deep.

She doesn’t quite understand what a metaphor is, it would appear, but we don’t know why we think she would, considering she also doesn’t know what a collarbone is. She seems to think her collarbone is just above her nipples. Or does she think the collarbone shifts in one’s body to wherever the collar on one’s shirt is? Maybe she thinks “collar bone” is the polite online-magazine-journalist way of saying “boobs.”

As a person who is known for his hot body, you must find it easy to judge the weight fluctuations of others, especially young women. If any of your daughters are ever faced with some kind of criticism of their physical appearance or weight, they should call me, because women’s body image is another issue I feel passionate about, and have become accustomed to dealing with and speaking with young women about on my college tours.

We love the image of Meghan McCain wandering around college campuses, muttering out loud to nobody in particular about women’s body issues, as passing students try to avert their gaze from her. “I am the daughter of a man who ran for president, and I have a body, and I can have sexual intercourse!” she will scream, as campus security officers drag her away from the quad.

Anyway, thank you, Glenn Beck, for giving Meghan material for her monthly column “job.” If you didn’t, she would have probably tried to analyze politics again. [Daily Beast]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 208 comments }

Barb May 12, 2011 at 11:24 am

I hear that her beer heiress Mom is pissed off. Wonder if Beck awoke with Spuds McKenzie's head in his bed this morning?

SudsMcKenzie May 12, 2011 at 11:38 am

I just threw up for 10 minutes.

Barb May 12, 2011 at 11:42 am

Sorry, my bad!

SudsMcKenzie May 12, 2011 at 12:07 pm

now, my "head" in Meg's bed, that's a different story ….

tessiee May 12, 2011 at 1:02 pm

"I just threw up for 10 minutes."

Sorry you had a scare, Suds, but to be fair, any mention of Glenn Beck would have that effect.

Badonkadonkette May 12, 2011 at 11:24 am

It's like watching two headless chickens brawl.

freakishlywrong May 12, 2011 at 11:46 am

Where your pee at?

Badonkadonkette May 12, 2011 at 11:54 am

No idea. I haven't even been to one of Breitbart's sites in a while. If it doesn't clear up soon, I'll have to make an appointment.

Lascauxcaveman May 12, 2011 at 11:53 am

Not one of the great literary feuds of our time, is it?

CapeClod May 12, 2011 at 11:54 am

A duel of wits between two unarmed opponents.

738838 May 12, 2011 at 12:05 pm

A one legged man in an ass kicking contest
Two bald men fighting over a comb.
Also

Geminisunmars May 12, 2011 at 12:26 pm

Two bald men fighting a comb over. (i.e. Trump and some other bald guy).

Captain_Quark May 12, 2011 at 11:25 am

I didn't know that vomit sommelier was a job description. Silly me. Go, Meghan!

V572..whatever May 12, 2011 at 11:42 am

And they say recent college graduates can't get jobs — honestly! USC graduates have all sorts of opportunities. Particularly those with rich parents. Which is most of them; they don't call it the University of Spoiled Children for nothing.

horsedreamer_1 May 12, 2011 at 12:19 pm

Megz went to Columbia. Her mother went to 'SC.

zhubajie May 13, 2011 at 12:46 am

Columbia? Or Colombia? British? or South Carolina?

Mumbletypeg May 12, 2011 at 11:28 am

As Harry Reid will tell you, Megs, the distance from collarbone to disaster-prone is just a few inches when the surface is slick.

anniegetyerfun May 12, 2011 at 11:47 am

That was beautiful.

DashboardBuddha May 12, 2011 at 11:52 am

Speaking of distance, it seems that the shorter the taint having kids you ain't.

Mumbletypeg May 12, 2011 at 12:02 pm

Linked from FauxNews, no less? Wow — to quote earlier annie_g: "the mind, it boggles"!

DashboardBuddha May 12, 2011 at 12:10 pm

Yeah…sorry about that. I copied the URL from that site just to sneak it by some uptight righties at another site I frequent. They'r all, "ho ho! You used Mother Jones as a source?!"

Makes you wonder though. Rush doesn't have kids…hmmmm.

poncho_pilot May 12, 2011 at 12:54 pm

he does have kids but not for very long. after he sucks the stem cells out of them he discards their bodies like so many empty bottles of oxycontin.

freakishlywrong May 12, 2011 at 11:58 am

Poor Harry's face! Why can't it be Glenn's? Oh yeah, Harry was exercising.

BaldarTFlagass May 12, 2011 at 11:28 am

Meghan McCain’s body is practically Shakespearian
I always thought "Rubenesque" was more appropriate, but then, Rubens wasn't known for his mastery of metaphors.

Weenus299 May 12, 2011 at 11:47 am

Paul Reubens, on the other hand…

horsedreamer_1 May 12, 2011 at 12:20 pm

Don't touch that!

Lascauxcaveman May 12, 2011 at 12:01 pm

Married guy Pro Tip: Banish the word "Rubenesque" whenever your wife and a full length mirror are in the vicinity.

tessiee May 12, 2011 at 1:05 pm

Cave to Mrs. Cave: "Yeah, you're fat. So what?… OW!!"

emmelemm May 12, 2011 at 1:33 pm

I'd rather be called Rubenesque than "fat fucking cow", but yeah, it's still probably a safe policy.

horsedreamer_1 May 12, 2011 at 11:28 am

Does Megz really need the money from that product-placement (strapless Juicy dress)?

nounverb911 May 12, 2011 at 11:29 am

Watched the vide….OH MY EYES, MY EYES, I'M BLIND……

Extemporanus May 12, 2011 at 11:30 am

Hey Blogett, seems everything is funny to you.

LabRodent May 12, 2011 at 11:30 am

"Naked Rich White Women" was my reply when asked in High school what I wanted to do when i grow up.

Maman May 12, 2011 at 11:34 am

Kinda sounds like a perfect job to me. Beats working for a living.

Lascauxcaveman May 12, 2011 at 12:02 pm

Nice work if you can get it.

horsedreamer_1 May 12, 2011 at 12:20 pm

You mean, cabana boy?

Chet Kincaid May 12, 2011 at 2:38 pm

That was McCain's reply when he got out of POW camp.

deanbooth May 12, 2011 at 11:30 am

Today we all have collar boners.

smitallica May 12, 2011 at 11:31 am

Not gonna lie. Thinking about Megs naked makes my penis throw up. In a good way.

RadioPlasticSurgery May 12, 2011 at 11:33 am

The Righties sure do have a problem with wrapping.

DashboardBuddha May 12, 2011 at 11:35 am

I have to take Meg's side in this (although the headless chicken comment was priceless)…Beck is a douchebag. Seriously Glenn? Suggesting that the daughter of a true blue (albeit senile) American senator wear a burka?

fuflans May 12, 2011 at 12:51 pm

yeah, leave it to glenn beck to make meghan mccain sound mature.

CapeClod May 12, 2011 at 11:35 am

Beck threw up because Megs being naked reminded him of the time where he killed that girl.

Texan_Bulldog May 12, 2011 at 11:37 am

Totally chuckled, chortled and laughed out loud at that. But I thought that was Joe Scarborough?

CapeClod May 12, 2011 at 11:42 am

I hadn't made that link before. So Beck killed her and dumped her body in Joe Scarborough's office!

James Michael Curley May 12, 2011 at 11:56 am

Now folks, you don't understand the Florida Coronor's Report. Lori Klausutis fainted backward, hit her head on a credenza while alone in Joe's office, promptly stood up and fainted again hitting her head on the desk which explains why there were two trauma wonds on different sides of her head and blood an several pieces of funiture.

Since the Coronor's report was so confusing, Jeb Bush seized it in 2002 and has zealously guarded us from the angst it would cause if we tried to read the final version.

Negropolis May 13, 2011 at 2:19 am

I read the name as "Lori Klansuits". lol

Chet Kincaid May 12, 2011 at 2:34 pm

BOB owns Scarborough's soul, but he keeps Beck around to collect the garmonbozia.

ShaveTheWhales May 13, 2011 at 2:55 am

You're a fucking Twin Peaks nerd?

Chet Kincaid May 13, 2011 at 1:18 pm

Takes one to know one, apparently!

sezme May 12, 2011 at 5:44 pm

Yes, and it also reminded him of that time he looked at himself in the mirror naked.

WilliamHTaft May 13, 2011 at 1:50 am

Hey you lib douchebag, that's not fair. There was never a trial and he was never convicted of anything. That's a dirty trick designed to smear his image.

Although, now that you mention it, it is kind of odd how the lamestream media is so silent on this issue, and so quick to dismiss the concerns of real americuh loving patriots who are just asking questions. And Glenn's never come out and just denied raping and killing that girl on that fateful day in 1990, has he?

jeezycreezy77 May 12, 2011 at 11:36 am

alternate alt text "don't get it in my eyes or hair!"

make fun of Rubenesque Meg McCabe all you want, every single one of you would hit that.

Arken May 12, 2011 at 11:42 am

No thanks. I prefer having sex with women who can string words together properly. It might not matter during, but it does before and after.

jeezycreezy77 May 12, 2011 at 11:51 am

contempt and loathing sex is the third best kind of sex, after public and anal.

Arken May 12, 2011 at 11:53 am

I'd rather vomit for 10 minutes.

Fuck Toad May 12, 2011 at 12:04 pm

With public anal hatefucking being the Champagne of Sex.

DaRooster May 12, 2011 at 11:53 am

What do you mean with this after you speak of?

Arken May 12, 2011 at 11:55 am

Maybe I'm alone here, but talking post-sex is awesome.

DaRooster May 12, 2011 at 12:01 pm

I just mean with her…

GOPCrusher May 12, 2011 at 3:53 pm

After? That's why I pay them, so they will leave after.

ProgressiveInga May 12, 2011 at 11:43 am

Guilty as charged. And I'm a girl and do not have a history of chubby-chasin'. The dissonance is freaking me out a lil' bit.

smitallica May 12, 2011 at 11:44 am

Yes. But with a sack of quarters.

Native_of_SL_UT May 12, 2011 at 11:44 am

Your right.
I would love to hit either one of them. Only in completely different ways for each. With tools.

twoeightnine May 12, 2011 at 11:47 am

Yes but every single one of us has no standards.

BaldarTFlagass May 12, 2011 at 11:52 am

Exactly. I'm so horny I'd fuck a snake. Hell, I'd fuck a pile of rocks if I thought there was a snake underneath it.

DashboardBuddha May 12, 2011 at 11:55 am

Ok…I'm at work and I laughed deeply. But I didn't want to explain to my office mate why so I stifled it and blew out my eardrums. There's a lesson here, I think.

chilequiles May 12, 2011 at 1:30 pm

hahahaaaaa *breathes* HAHAAAAHHAAA

Negropolis May 13, 2011 at 2:27 am

ROTFLMAO!

It makes absolutely no sense, and that's why it's so funny.

SorosBot May 12, 2011 at 11:56 am

Now, some of us have standards. I wouldn't fuck most of the hideous hags that conservatives like to lie about and claim are hot, like Sarah Palin or Michele Bachmann, with Ann Coulter's dick.

gurukalehuru May 12, 2011 at 2:52 pm

Oh, hell, yes. Megs is cute enough. Dumber than a sack full of hammers, but cute enough.

GOPCrusher May 12, 2011 at 3:47 pm

I would hit it so hard, whoever pulled me out could be crowned King of England and rule from Camelot.

Angry_Marmot May 12, 2011 at 6:47 pm

The crack of dawn is looking good to me…

Gorillionaire May 12, 2011 at 11:36 am

Just don't ever have a miscarriage, Meghan, or Beck will really make fun of you.

sati_demise May 12, 2011 at 4:23 pm

true history win

SorosBot May 12, 2011 at 11:37 am

When is Glenn's canceled show supposed to finally end so that we can return to ignoring the crazed racist fat bile-spewer, anyway? We should have a countdown.

AJW@[redacted] May 12, 2011 at 11:58 am

I think his radio show will live on in infamy.

zhubajie May 13, 2011 at 12:53 am

I predict it will be saved at the last minute. Or migrate to christian cable or something.

Goonemeritus May 12, 2011 at 11:37 am

Can we just agree that in this case Glen is the dick?

Now that I think about it this is true for every case.

HempDogbane May 12, 2011 at 11:37 am

Girlfight !

Poindexter718 May 12, 2011 at 11:38 am

You can rub SPF50 on my beck anyday, you zaftig post-neocon strumpet.

GuyClinch May 12, 2011 at 11:40 am

I can think of at least one other place where she could rub it.

smitallica May 12, 2011 at 11:46 am

I hereby change the name of my prog-screamo-punk band to Zaftig and the Post-Neocon Strumpets. 100% fucking brilliant.

prommie May 12, 2011 at 11:59 am

You know she would come over to the good side, if she could. Never underestimate the power of the expected inheritance, in controlling the behavior of the offspring of the wealthy. I know, I saw the original Arthur.

riverside68 May 12, 2011 at 1:47 pm

In fact she could come to the good side. Just because she would lose her identity and risk loosing cash, family, and friends doesn't mean she doesn't have any choice. See Brock, David.

Having a cat fight with Beck is a step in the right direction.

Schmannnity May 12, 2011 at 11:38 am

Mormon versus Episcopalian humor. Kinda like Donnie and Marie versus George Plimpton: gut busting alert!

WhatTheHeck May 12, 2011 at 11:40 am

I hear Glenn is hot in his magic underwear. No. I really mean he's hot because of the many layers of underwear. He's like an onion.

flamingpdog May 12, 2011 at 3:50 pm

Nah, onions make YOU cry – they don't cry themselves.

HempDogbane May 12, 2011 at 11:40 am

"She seems to think her collarbone is just above her nipples." With the proper foundation garment, this will come true.

AJW@[redacted] May 12, 2011 at 12:00 pm

I think it already did, in that Andy Warhol mirror image thing she posted that one time.

Ramon X May 12, 2011 at 2:06 pm

Actually, in our favorite pic of her upside down reading Andy Warhol I believe her nipples were above her collarbone. Something to do with duct tape, as I recall.

ifthethunderdontgetya May 12, 2011 at 11:40 am

Glass houses and stones, Beck.

Might require some assembly for a dropout such as yourself.
~

BaldarTFlagass May 12, 2011 at 11:41 am

"He pretended to vomit."

Perhaps there's some deep-seated reason that the female form induces emesis in Mr Beck?

Buckminster May 12, 2011 at 11:46 am

Ya think? Everything about him screams spoiled 4-year-old.

emmelemm May 12, 2011 at 1:35 pm

That was my first reaction too. OK, so there was a naked lady, and that made you "throw up"?? Either you're like, seven, or you're GAY.

Arken May 12, 2011 at 11:41 am

I only vomit for Meghan McCain's mind, not her body.

SudsMcKenzie May 12, 2011 at 11:42 am

This is creepy news for Jon McCain.

EatsBabyDingos May 12, 2011 at 11:42 am

What we need more of: Humorless Comics. It's the blonde leading the bland.

Monsieur_Grumpe May 12, 2011 at 11:43 am

Mr Creosote would beg to differ with Ms McCain.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BlK62rjQWLk

undeterredbyreality May 12, 2011 at 11:56 am

Is that Chris Christie?

riverside68 May 12, 2011 at 1:54 pm

Now that's vomiting for ten minutes. If only Beck would do that.

Hatrabbit May 12, 2011 at 11:43 am

"Meghan McCain’s body is practically Shakespearian " while Glenn Beck's body is Dr Seussian

PsycWench May 12, 2011 at 11:43 am

OK, now I"M vomiting.

CapeClod May 12, 2011 at 11:44 am

Come on, Glenn. The gaunlet has been thrown down. Are you going to take that from a large, naked girl?

Weenus299 May 12, 2011 at 11:44 am

I'd eat her vomit for a mile just to see where it came out.

Hatrabbit May 12, 2011 at 11:45 am

no nipplez. damn. nipplez are metaphors too, ya know.

prommie May 12, 2011 at 2:01 pm

Megz reminds me of this 70s song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKZWSxt8M2o&fe

RadioPlasticSurgery May 12, 2011 at 11:47 am

You know who else was pudgy, pasty white?

Monsieur_Grumpe May 12, 2011 at 11:49 am

Every ass in Texas?

DashboardBuddha May 12, 2011 at 11:50 am

The Pillsbury Dough Boy?

SorosBot May 12, 2011 at 11:58 am

Baron Harkonnen?

ProgressiveInga May 12, 2011 at 11:58 am

The Huckabee Clan? But in the present tense.

Moonbat May 12, 2011 at 12:02 pm

The Sta-Puft Marshmallow Man?

Lascauxcaveman May 12, 2011 at 12:16 pm

♫ ♬ ♪ "Frosty the Snowwwman…" ♫ ♬ ♪

(Sorry, just took down the Xmas tree yesterday.)

BaldarTFlagass May 12, 2011 at 12:17 pm

Herman Goering?

usernameguy May 12, 2011 at 1:37 pm

Me?

GOPCrusher May 12, 2011 at 3:58 pm

George "The Animal" Steele

zhubajie May 13, 2011 at 12:55 am

Bill Clinton?

metamarcisf May 12, 2011 at 11:47 am

I want a job writing her material.

SorosBot May 12, 2011 at 11:48 am

Also, fuck you again Glenn Beck for making us have to side Megs McCain again (though at least she's not bad for a Republican, and good on social issues).

FakaktaSouth May 12, 2011 at 1:59 pm

Of all the giRls he coulda messed with – Ms McCain is def the least bad. Her problem doesn't seem to be an underlying basic evil. Also, oh my GoD apparently nobody making fun of her for being fat has been to Target down here on a Tuesday morning.

hagajim May 12, 2011 at 11:48 am

I think Megs probably misunderstood Mr. Beck's vomit comment….it was a metaphor for how many times he had little Glenn vomit as he whacked it….poor dude is raw now, even using the suntan lotion…..EWWWWWWW…sometimes I even make myself a little sick.

twoeightnine May 12, 2011 at 11:49 am

I can't wait for the Meg twitpic of her in a push-up collarbonessiere.

undeterredbyreality May 12, 2011 at 11:55 am

1. The real story here is: Glenn Beck has daughters? If they are biological daughters, they're gonna have a lot more to worry about than their body images. Nobody will ever get past the face–and then the mind! aaaahhhh! Vomiting!

2. I like Megs. At least when she's on Rachel she speaks her mind freely and seems open to ideas. Whether they ever stay in that mind of hers, I don't know, but she's not a lying piece of shit like every other public repugnantcunt.

3. Yes, I'd hit it. (But I really always had the hots for Topanga.)

FakaktaSouth May 12, 2011 at 2:08 pm

One of Beck's girls has Cerebral Palsy, which I hope he says something about – like "How dare John McCain's fat daughter mention my daughter in a derogatory fashion." It would just ice the whole "why are people being so mean (when she didn't say anything mean) to us just because we are insufferable dicks" cake.

I liked MM on Rachel too. She is almost exactly like most of the females I know that really don't know that much about politics either but still like to talk about issues.

LouBristol May 12, 2011 at 11:56 am

In a slapfight I usually root for the one with the bigger boobs, so in this case it's "Go Glenn Beck!"

Redhead May 12, 2011 at 11:56 am

Drug-addicted mental-asylum-escapee versus fat, delusional retard. Basically sums up the right wing right now.

DaRooster May 12, 2011 at 11:57 am

"I thought that pretending to be naked (even if I only disrobed to my collar bone) would hopefully call attention to skin cancer…"
I watched the clip while at work… three times… probably 'cuz I don't have sound here.
And also… when I watched, you weren't "pretending" to be naked…

prommie May 12, 2011 at 11:57 am

You know, I would gleefully hit that zaftig little chica!

Tundra Grifter May 12, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Like the fist of an angry god…

SheriffRoscoe May 12, 2011 at 11:59 am

Ten minutes? Really? Acting like your vomiting for teh lulz just gets funnier with each passing minute, as any seven year-old boy would know.

GOPCrusher May 12, 2011 at 4:01 pm

Throw in some arm pit farts to change things up.

Gopherit May 12, 2011 at 12:01 pm

Well, I mean. is anyone surprised that Beck is repulsed by the female body?

Set those sweater-puppies free, Megs. We'll have your back….

LouBristol May 12, 2011 at 12:03 pm

Let's not diss the old man today, he just called torture lawyer Michael Mukasey a liar. In the Washington Post. http://is.gd/7MArP7

jeezycreezy77 May 12, 2011 at 12:18 pm

how bout that, hengh? hengh?

riverside68 May 12, 2011 at 1:33 pm

He's on the comeback trail.

McCain/McCain 2012!

HuddledMass May 15, 2011 at 12:18 pm

If this version of McCain had run in 2008 he might have won. So …. hooray? This seems wrong, I'm calling my ethicist.

AJW@[redacted] May 12, 2011 at 12:03 pm

That segment of her with Rachel at the NRA convention? I'd hit that Megs McCabe.

jeezycreezy77 May 12, 2011 at 12:16 pm

I think Rachel wanted to hit it, too. Which would be great for ratings.

Limeylizzie May 12, 2011 at 4:12 pm

I think Megs wanted it to happen. Oh what straight woman doesn't want to have at it with Rachel Maddow?

baconzgood May 12, 2011 at 12:03 pm

But what does Cancer Boy think about this?

thefrontpage May 12, 2011 at 12:05 pm

I've seen Meghan McCant naked, several times, at least 30 times, and it's nothing to celebrate.

jeezycreezy77 May 12, 2011 at 12:17 pm

pics or GTFO

owhatever May 12, 2011 at 12:05 pm

Now for our main event of the evening in the chicken fat, ketchup and mayo wrasslin' title match. Meggie McCain, almost America's princess once, is in a Juicy bikini. Her challenger is the abnormally shaped and unhinged Glenn Beck. Let the squishing begin.

tessiee May 12, 2011 at 1:18 pm

Worst porno ever.

BZ1 May 12, 2011 at 12:08 pm

Who is this Glenn Breck of which you speak?

jeezycreezy77 May 12, 2011 at 12:12 pm

fuck michele bachmann (crazy bitches are good in bed), marry meg mccain (inheritance, duh), and lastly a toss-up between Palin and Coulter

tessiee May 12, 2011 at 1:10 pm

Can we somehow kill Palin WITH Coulter?

L188188 May 12, 2011 at 12:14 pm

"Meghan McCain", "Glen Beck" and "Naked Body" all in one headline?! That sealed it for me, I am READING this bitch.

ChessieNefercat May 12, 2011 at 3:27 pm

First sentence? Words right out of my mouth. Only my second sentence would have been, pleeease, no, don't ever do that again.

However, I am willing to defer to all the people on here who think Megan is a doable armful of lovely. Carry on! Casabas for all!

Also, too, it's nice to see the enthusiasm for Meggie's curves the day after all the disdain for Maria's bony self. Maybe not all guys are into anorexia?

jeezycreezy77 May 12, 2011 at 12:20 pm

brotip: the shame makes it better

OldWiseWizard May 12, 2011 at 12:21 pm

It boggles my mind that Meghan Mccain is constantly mocked by right wing pundits for being hideous when she's got those old school 50's va-va-voom Betty Grable curves that would make a Tex Avery wolf shoot his eyes out his head. All the while, they push their cadre of right wing "hotties" (Palin,Bachman,Coulter,Laura Ingraham),who look like bargain basement tranny hookers rendered by Nintendo 64 processing power complete with jagged polygonal edges and dead eyes, and view anyone who doesn't get hard/wet by the mere mention of their names as crazy people.

This is of course all my fault for trying to make sense out of republican sexuality.

Limeylizzie May 12, 2011 at 4:14 pm

I would totally fuck you based on that post alone.

DaRooster May 12, 2011 at 12:22 pm

His shoulders are thin… it's just that his chin spills over to them.

poncho_pilot May 12, 2011 at 12:52 pm

he just has a big chip on his shoulder. ruffles have ridges.

ttommyunger May 12, 2011 at 12:23 pm

Meh, two doughy pantloads. One has a pussy and the other is a pussy. Let them hiss and raise their hackles; it's what they do best.

ChessieNefercat May 12, 2011 at 3:34 pm

Aw, ttommy, this is for you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6oep-ZtggE

ttommyunger May 13, 2011 at 12:24 am

OK, I'll see your pussies and raise you a talking dog: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKVXZGkJQeM&featur

stanpan May 12, 2011 at 12:28 pm

Glenn or Glennda?

Toomush_Infer May 12, 2011 at 12:36 pm

Lowered expectaations….

Sharkey May 12, 2011 at 1:44 pm

… meet heightened lactations!

GregComlish May 12, 2011 at 12:53 pm

I'd rather rear-end Meg McCain than bend over Bristol Palin

fuflans May 12, 2011 at 12:54 pm

has-been meet irrelevancy.

tessiee May 12, 2011 at 1:02 pm

"As a person who is known for his hot body, you must find it easy to judge the weight fluctuations of others, especially young women."

OH, SNAP!!

crybabyboehner May 12, 2011 at 1:11 pm

Close call but I'm going to go with Megs on this one, on account of her rack.

tessiee May 12, 2011 at 1:15 pm

*eyeroll*
Puh-leeze!
Meghan may not be a rocket surgeon, but let's just be fair and admit that she's an attractive young woman.
Even supposing that Glenn Beck liked women, who the hell is he trying to kid with the vomit jokes, like he's got a stable of supermodels or something, and his standards are that high? The only way he would get a good look at the naked body of someone like Meghan McCain would be in a whorehouse, and even then, he'd have to bring along a bushel basket of hundred dollar bills.

BarackMyWorld May 12, 2011 at 1:16 pm

Now, I'm not saying Glenn Back is gay, but isn't it interesting the thought of a 26 year-old big-breasted woman naked makes him physically ill?

GOPCrusher May 12, 2011 at 4:06 pm

My thoughts exactly. Although it probably hasn't occurred to what is left of his viewing public.
They are probably more shocked that Megs would actually be seen in public with bare shoulders.

EBGrey May 12, 2011 at 1:22 pm

Meghan needs to talk to Sean Hannity…He knows what Beck was gagging on…(Ahem).

Nopantsmcgee May 12, 2011 at 1:24 pm

Good for her. I kinda like her.

carlgt1 May 12, 2011 at 1:36 pm

on the plus side she's bound to tweet better tit pics to refudiate Glenn Beck…

chascates May 12, 2011 at 2:00 pm

Her naked dad, along with naked friends Lieberman & Graham, would make a far more effective PSA. For a lot of causes.

Limeylizzie May 12, 2011 at 4:15 pm

Ewww, vomit rising here.

TheSheriffsNear May 13, 2011 at 11:03 am

Like the cause of "portion control" for our nation of fatties.

prommie May 12, 2011 at 2:03 pm

She reminds me of this 70s song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKZWSxt8M2o&fe

pinkocommi May 12, 2011 at 2:05 pm

That is debatable. Glenn is a boob and he has a lot of mass.

comrad_darkness May 12, 2011 at 2:06 pm

Glenn Beck is a queer, then?

proudgrampa May 12, 2011 at 2:14 pm

Oh, Tess, I think I'm in love.

Tommmcattt May 12, 2011 at 2:17 pm

Woe unto you, America! For your children starve, your infrastructure decays, your middle-class evaporates, and all the while you affix your mighty gaze upon this: a plump heiress and an even plumper has-been, involved in the moral equivalent of a playground slap-fight.

I mean, seriously?

proudgrampa May 12, 2011 at 5:04 pm

Tommm, if fixing my gaze on a plump heiress is wrong, I don't wanna be right!

El Pinche May 12, 2011 at 2:23 pm

Glenn Beck only likes dead naked little girls. Let's not kid ourselves. We all know what happened in 1990.

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 12, 2011 at 2:24 pm

I'm sure that all Glenn was trying to say is that if Megs was a true conservative, she would be getting plastic surgery and moving to LA like Bristol.

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 12, 2011 at 2:25 pm

And I'm sure Bristol is an expert in vomiting. With her parents, probably her first memory is Mom and Dad heaving all over her.

Tundra Grifter May 12, 2011 at 2:33 pm

Is this really the best Glumm Bleek can come up with? To go after Meghan McCanns?

He's so five minutes ago!

DashboardBuddha May 12, 2011 at 2:35 pm

In the meantime, it will make a great insult. "Rush is a short-tainted piece of shit".

Tommmcattt May 12, 2011 at 3:40 pm

Meghan McCain’s body is practically Shakespearian its meaning is so deep.

From a purely pedagogic standpoint, I would have gone with "Falstaffian". Removes any doubt as to what you are trying to get across.

DashboardBuddha May 12, 2011 at 3:44 pm

"I'm so glad Glenn Beck is leaving Fox. Enough vitriol and hate. Glenn you are no rodeo clown. They are decent and nice. You aren't" – Cindy McCain

Oh snap! I'm no fan of Cindy's, but nice job, mom! And now that I think of it, rodeo clowns are kinda cool when you consider what they do.

GOPCrusher May 12, 2011 at 3:45 pm

So Glenn Beck raped and murdered a girl that was lying dead in Joe Scarborough's office?
Kinky.

pdiddycornchips May 12, 2011 at 4:04 pm

I'm definitely team Meg. She may be dumb as a styrofoam cup but she's not evil. Beck is one evil MoFo. The whole thing brings to mind Sartre's play "No Exit". Sartre's version of hell is three extremely annoying people being forced to live all eternity together. The devil hardly makes an appearance.

Limeylizzie May 12, 2011 at 4:11 pm

As someone with a not dissimilar body to Meg , short, very bosomy and short-waisted I am completely on Meg's' side here, it is an unbelievably difficult body type to dress in a flattering way. You always look about 15 lbs heaver than you actually are and when the "style" of beautiful is tall, skinny and a size zero and you are short and top-heavy and a size 8-10 it can play havoc wth your self-esteem and the last thing you need is a jowly, pudgy , arrogant , unattractive man faking nausea over your body. I think she handled it really well, not sure that I wouldn't have been damn near suicidal over something that public and humiliating at her age . She seems bright, appealng and confident and I think she is terrific when she is with Rachel Maddow. On the plus side, we look much, much better naked than those bony-arsed types ,as MrLimeyLizzie will testify, he likes it so much that he has painted me nude multiple times, me nude-him in an artists smock, and the results are displayed proudly in our living-room So fuck you Glenn Beck, you sorry, pathetic little bastard, you will never know the true beauty and diversity of women's bodies.

Fuck Toad May 12, 2011 at 4:32 pm

I like Megs McCabe too, but she seems pretty ignorant for a 26-year-old. Such as still thinking the Republican party has something to offer young people who don't hate blacks and gays. And she should really wait a decade or so before trying to be a political prognosticator.

Limeylizzie May 12, 2011 at 5:38 pm

I was talking more about her as a woman than as a politician, I am sure she will eventually be a Democrat, how could she not be?

proudgrampa May 12, 2011 at 5:07 pm

Damn. You're married???

Liz, you should write porn!

BarackMyWorld May 12, 2011 at 5:12 pm

You think YOU'RE surprised…hell, after reading that description, I was about to propose to her!

Limeylizzie May 12, 2011 at 5:34 pm

Married not dead .

Limeylizzie May 12, 2011 at 5:35 pm

Aww thanks , BarackMyWorld…

Limeylizzie May 12, 2011 at 5:39 pm

Why is it such a surprise that some smart old man snapped me up??

Angry_Marmot May 12, 2011 at 6:56 pm

"Better an old man's pet than a young man's slave."

Limeylizzie May 12, 2011 at 8:29 pm

I would love to write porn! Full disclosure, I have recorded some erotica for recorded books/books on tape type stuff.

MadBrahms May 12, 2011 at 4:59 pm

Another great debate between two titans of feminism.

I do have to give her props for the magnificent passive-aggression of "as a person known for his hot body", though.

Limeylizzie May 12, 2011 at 5:28 pm

There is something wrong with me, I read that as "despite having 17 kids and eating my bounteous meat". Well, congratulations?

Lascauxcaveman May 12, 2011 at 6:28 pm

Sorry for the confusion. Is there such a thing as Freudian Slip-Boast?

BaldarTFlagass May 13, 2011 at 8:33 am

There is now.

zhubajie May 12, 2011 at 10:09 pm

I think I'd rather see Meghan McCain naked than Glenn Beck naked. Which do you think is a real blonde? Neither? Both?

Warpde May 12, 2011 at 11:04 pm

OK, How many of you horny bastards were looking for the full shot.
Yeah. I thought so.
Hey, as long as she doesn't try to strike up a conversation after……

zhubajie May 13, 2011 at 12:44 am

"I wasn’t really naked"

Pasties? G-string?

TheMeatmaker May 13, 2011 at 9:52 am

So it's OK for Meg? Because when I wander campuses and tell coeds how they should feel about their bodies, someone always calls the cops.

TheSheriffsNear May 13, 2011 at 10:51 am

Baldar, you're in fine fettle on this thread. First the folksy "pile of rocks" post now this ridiculous pun. I normally hate puns but this was too clever.

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