it's morning in america

Sarah Palin Earns Fox News Check By Implying Common, Obama Are Racist

There are no words. We've used them all.

  • “It is just too easy,” dutiful Fox News screecher Sarah Palin said to get another check last night, referring to her ability to pick a fight with the White House for allowing a (CELEBRATED) black hip-hop artist into the building, knowing that a very familiar segment of the country will automatically believe any negative thing a white public figure says about such a man. Her syntax was convoluted as always, but she still managed to imply Common and the president are racist: “We thought we were to be united under the leader of the free world, Barack Obama in tamping down racism and inciting violence — and cop killing certainly — and killing a former president.” Yes, why hasn’t Obama tamped down inciting killing a former president? The only thing children are being taught today is that it feels good to have sex, do drugs, and force Jimmy Carter to drink a fatal amount of antifreeze. [Politico]
  • Newt Gingrich released his opening campaign video. He says the United States should “impose” solutions on “those forces that don’t want to change.” Your number’s up, gay people! And he says he will “tell the truth,” so we guess he’s going to be totally upfront with his wife about all the affairs he’s going to have these coming months. [YouTube]
  • A survey says 85% of college graduates move back home with their parents after they get their diploma. This is because the economy has found human beings are no longer required in order to make profits. Future: won. [Time]

About the author

Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

View all articles by Jack Stuef

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • skoalrebel

    I'm what they call "ahead of the curve" 'cuz I live with my parents and don't even have a college diploma. [spit] Winning!

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      You sir are a trendsetter.

      • Negropolis

        And a gentlement, to boot. A scholar. Also.

    • Captain_Quark

      Have you considered a career as an economic consultant? A man with your skills and life experience might provide needed insight to top management in both the public and private sectors.

      • Negropolis

        WTF (Won the Future).

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

      What a waste! Clearly your rightful place is in non-profit arts administration.

      • horsedreamer_1

        SkoalRebel's first installation will be Chaw Christ: a crucifix submerged in an RC Cola litre bottle, the soda replaced by spent chewing tobacco.

        • skoalrebel

          Fuck no! [spit] I'm workin' on Dippin' Messiah: John the Baptist anointing Jesus by pouring a bottle of dip spit on his head, while a bald eagle comes down from the sky screaming "USA! Let's Roll! USA!"

          • GOPCrusher

            Put Zombie Reagan in the background, watching the events, I believe this may sweep the flea markets across this great nation.

          • tessiee

            Or at the very least, give Thomas Kincaid a few sleepless nights.

          • PristineODummy

            Wait, isn't "Let's Roll!" trademarked, or copyrighted, or something?

  • BklynIlluminati

    Feels good to have sex – Bristol Palin

    • mereoblivion

      With almost any adult on earth other than Bristol Palin.

      • V572..whatever

        Although if there's no one else around, why not? Look at that beautiful new face in the mirror!

        • widestanceroman

          She's on a slippery slope to full-blown Sarah Jessica Parker with her new equestrian chin.

        • James Michael Curley

          Bristol needed the work as she is up for the title role in "War Horse."

        • PristineODummy

          With a chin like a baby's bum.

    • Terry

      Feels good to have sex on the bench seat of a pick up that's parked out by the dump – Bristol Palin

      There, fixed.

      • SorosBot

        Though it's cold and lonely in the deep dark night, there's paradise by the dashboard lights…

        • James Michael Curley

          As was said back in the 70's; "Never let you Meat Loaf."

      • tessiee

        It's mid-May already, signaling the time when the warm weather arrives, flowers bloom, birds make their nests, and Whistle makes her annual change from having sex in pickup trucks to having outdoor sex standing up behind the dumpster.

  • MMathS

    "You're number's up…"

    Ugh. Sarah, is that you?

  • DaRooster

    "The only thing children are being taught today is that it feels good to have sex…"

    Unless you are Levi… especially the "after party"… for like a couple of years.

  • CapeClod

    So Newty's campaign slogan is going to be, "Change That You Are Going To Have To Get Used To"?

    • CountryClubJihadi

      or "Yes You Will".

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      "Newt. Triumph Of The Will."

      • Swampgas_Man

        "Republicans: Triumph of the Won't."

    • GOPCrusher

      "Got any change?"

    • Negropolis

      Newt: No means Yes

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Ah, Sarah, that struts and frets her hour upon the stage. And then is heard no more: it is a tale, told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing

    • DaSandman

      Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing…

    • CapeClod

      Howl, howl, howl.

    • predilectrix

      Exit, pursued by a bear.

      Please.

    • Not_So_Much

      'We are also, as for those in uniform, liberty! Lamestream gotcha danged socialism, also. Violence, but not also, surveyor marks. Blood libel. All of 'em!!

    • undeterredbyreality

      The rest is silence.

      Please.

    • BlueStateLibel

      I have a feeling Shakespeare wrote that phrase specifically for Sarah, it just fits like a glove.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        It's like he knew her or something. Maybe he used Huck's magic time machine.

    • sati_demise

      "heard no more"…….if only that was true………

  • LesPaultard

    What percentage of kids who don't get diplomas will move back home?
    …I don't want them back.

  • metamarcisf

    I love Wonkette but you cretins are giving this woman too much air time.

    • widestanceroman

      It's gonna be All-Newt/All-Day all too soon, so enjoy the Palin while you can.

    • Terry

      Meta,

      Your pee-value is dangerously close to sneaking into the negative two digits.

    • samsuncle

      Don't ya know that Sara is the woman we love to hate? Also, too.

  • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    "He says the United States should “impose” solutions on “those forces that don’t want to change.”

    Irony of Southern Man advocating the "Wah of Nawthun Aggreshun" solushun on people frozen in time.

    • jonzin

      Newty is NOT a Southern man. He's from Jersey or something. Another thing that is just pure fake, poser, bullshit about him.

      • horsedreamer_1

        Pennsylvania.

        You know who else was really from Pennsylvania?

        • RedneckMuslin

          Mario Lanza

        • rubyslippers

          Santorum maybe? Not sure, let's google it.

        • GOPCrusher

          Dan Marino?

          • ShaveTheWhales

            Joe Montana.

        • horsedreamer_1

          The correct answer: Joe Biden.

  • DaRooster

    "…so we guess he’s going to be totally upfront with his wife about all the affairs he’s going to have these coming months…"

    Only because he LOVES this country soooo much… oh, and he's a cheatin' piece of shit… too… as well.

  • fredbell

    Why is there a picture of Kirstie Alley up?

    • DaRooster

      She ain't NO Kirstie!!

  • Barb

    Racist? Did anyone in the Fox audience scream "kill him" while Sarah spoke? They usually do and she pretends that she doesn't hear it.

    • freakishlywrong

      And brought stuffed monkeys to her hate rallies? No problem!

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Makes a bandaid with a purple heart on it seem pretty tame in comparison.

  • johnnymeatworth

    Uh oh, Obama's in Sarah's crosshairs!

    • bflrtsplk

      You mean surveyor's marks, amiright?

      • WriteyWriterton

        She will pop a survey in your a**.

    • Gopherit

      Surveyor marks. She will Survey the shit out of you.

  • LabRodent

    May 21st cant come quick enough! With this shit Im about ready for some good old fashion apocalypse NOW.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      I read up on this a bit, apparently "they" expect about 200 million people to get raptured worldwide next Saturday. Not enough, I say.

      • emmelemm

        Maybe if it was 200 million in the U.S., that might be enough. 200 million worldwide – won't even miss 'em.

        Personally I've always been hoping for a really good plague, a la The Stand.

      • PristineODummy

        Sheesh, that's not even gonna make a noticeable dent in the global population.

    • Steverino247

      Never get off the goddamned boat… Absolutely fuckin' right.

  • http://guyclinch.blogspot.com GuyClinch

    Isn't Common's girlfriend Serena Williams? I'd really really like to see Serena take this up with Sarah. You know, stand by her man, &c.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Or send her sister, Venus the Predator.

      • V572..whatever

        You really wouldn't want to be on the wrong side of either one of those fine ladies. Just ask that line judge Serena went after at Forest Hills. Or look at Serena's racket.

        • James Michael Curley

          Judging by the trend in past performances, this year at Wimbleton Serena is planning to display her rack.

    • Terry

      By "stand by her man" , I hope you mean "kick her ass".

      • PristineODummy

        I imagine that's a given. But then again, I have a vicious imagination.

    • undeterredbyreality

      Where can I get tickets for this?

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      On the other hand, Serena Williams running toward me, naked, in slow motion, is a recurring dream that often disturbs my sleep. Away from me, also.

      • WriteyWriterton

        Her running toward you is disturbing? I think that would call for open arms, but that's just me.

  • EdFlintstone

    Sarah if you're going to talk about race, stop at Tahd's irondog snowmachine race.

  • V572..whatever

    Racism in this country could use a good tamp-down. Sarah's given you your orders, get after it, "President" Obama!

    And by "tamping down" she doesn't mean "eradicated." She means "not talked about so much," or, in her native Alaskuntese: "Ya can't say 'nigger' anymore."

  • http://wonkette.com Clancy_Pants

    At least Sarah doesn't have to worry about what her kids do after they graduate college.

    • jus_wonderin

      Well Bristol has made out so well, we have to expect a bun in the oven of Willow.

    • Hatrabbit

      By college you mean 'Maternity Ward', right?

    • Gopherit

      Sarah has never once really cared for any of her children(*) after they fell from her vag with a dull, wet thud.

      *Acting like you care to score political points does not count.

  • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    In the faint hope of Nip slips or upskirt shots.

    • SorosBot

      With that hideous thing? Ew ew ew.

    • Hatrabbit

      Do upskirt shots qualify as investigative journalism?

      That would be a milestone for Fox.

    • Gopherit

      It really does have teeth.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    You know who else imposed solutions on those forces that didn't want to change?

    • CapeClod

      NATO in Libya?

    • LesPaultard

      My mom?

    • SorosBot

      Batman?

    • LabRodent

      Joe the not really a Plumber?

    • kissawookiee

      My high school physics teacher?

    • Geminisunmars

      Michelle Obama?

    • undeterredbyreality

      Einstein?

    • http://www.acepilots.com/wwi/can_bishop.html WABishop

      Businesses across America every day of the week?

    • GOPCrusher

      Stephen Hawking?

    • LocalGirlMakesGoo

      The HR lady at work?

    • Negropolis

      Celine Dion?

    • mumbly_joe

      William Tecumseh Sherman?

  • EatsBabyDingos

    "Change Your Depends"

  • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    I'm just waiting for her to say "Nigger Nigger Nigger" and get it out in the open. I'll bet it's killing her because deep down you know she wants to say it.

    • LabRodent

      There is this room at Fox News that only certain people know about behind studio B where its ok to scream it out. There's always a long line going to it.

    • SorosBot

      It appears her current thinly-veiled code word is "rapper".

    • GOPCrusher

      I just have to imagine that they have Bible Spice on a seven second delay, whenever she is on.

    • PristineODummy

      She's been wanting to say it out LOUD ever since she lost that beauty pageant winky slinky thingy to the only black woman living in AK.

  • http://wonkette.com John Birf Society

    Apparently it is "medically necessary" for Sarah to be on TV every day.

    • CapeClod

      It looks like Sarah and Bristol exchanged wattles.

  • baconzgood

    Dear Common,

    The poet Behan once said that there is no such thing as bad publicity except your obituary, or somthing like that. Enjoy your increased sales and send Sarah a thank you note.

    Mr. Zgood.

  • Thurman Munster IV

    Lou Sarah certainly puts the Cunt in Country

    • FNMA

      Hank III!
      So who puts the Dick in Dixie?

    • PristineODummy

      I'm sorry, man, that is SO Rosanne Cash's line.

  • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

    You know who else wanted to impose solutions hmmm?

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

      The Oxiclean guy?

    • jus_wonderin

      I like to vacation in the Solutions. Though this year I am opting for a stay-cation.

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      Damn you Baldar (shakes fist at sky)

    • BarackMyWorld

      James T. Kirk?

    • SorosBot

      Someone carrying a picture of Chairman Mao, who's not gonna make it with anyone anyhow?

    • BTWBFDIMHO

      The precipitate?

    • Steverino247

      My chemistry teachers?

    • GOPCrusher

      John Kenneth Galbraith?

  • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

    Newt, a prophet of the Cretins, has said: 'Cretins are always liars'. He has surely told the truth.

  • http://www.frso.org/index.htm 4TheTurnstiles

    Your move, Herman Cain. (Can you trust Alan Keyes or Clarence Thomas or for a laugh Michael Steele if you call them in on Black Republican Backup?)

  • BaldarTFlagass

    He says the United States should “impose” solutions on “those forces that don’t want to change.”

    FDR laughs hysterically, from the beyond.

    • Gopherit

      Opus Dei has always had it in for the Christ Killers.

      • glamourdammerung

        In fairness, they seem to have it in for the United States as well.

  • OkieDokieDog

    That's right Sarah Lou, keep tellin' it just like it is. Remember the good ole days of George Double You and we was all united and stuff because he was a unite-r not a divider. If only we could return to the days when the blacks could not play the "hoops" in the Rose Garden. I pray that a real Christian man gets elected and we can return to the days of white culture ONLY in the White House just like God said in the bible.

    • DahBoner

      What time is the next cross burning?

    • BobSalem

      Thank you for proving Sarah's point. Obummer is much more of a racist than any liberal puke would ever admit to. And you apparently are as well. Many people in this country voted for the "Hype & Change" Obummer promised and most Americans are suffering from a serious case of buyer’s remorse. As long as assholes like you and Obummer can keep playing the victim and race cards this country will never become united. Slavery was a very unfortunate reality hundreds of year ago and many good people fought to change it. The truth is while most races are raising their children to accept and treat people for their actions and not for the color of their skin, way too many blacks are raising their children to hate white people for only the color of their skin! And Obummer convinced many that he was different and wanted to be a uniter and since he has been in the white house racial hate and tensions are higher than ever. And it is the blacks in this country that are full all the hate, not the whites. But don’t let the truth get in the way of your beliefs and lies.

      • OkieDokieDog

        Thank you BobSalem for proving the point that assholes like you and Sarah Palin who think that the POTUS, Mr. Barrack Obama, or ""Obummer" as you like to call him, is responsible for the racists like you and Palin to come out from underneath your Klan robes is ridiculous.

        • BobSalem

          I wonder if your grandmother is nothing but another typical white grandmother like Obummers? Or perhaps Robert Byrd? Remember him, one of your heroes!

          Barack Obama Says "White Folks" Are "Cruel" And "Ignorant.
          http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/coilofrage.a

          • SorosBot

            Of course, Robert Byrd; you know how stupid it shows you are when you pull out the most tired argument conservatives used to disingenuously claim "Democrats are the real racists" no matter how many times it's refuted and how tedious it is? Really, why do you wingnuts keep saying the exact same thing over and over and over and over and over and over again?

          • http://intensedebate.com/logout Gleem_McShineys

            Don't you know, as a wingtard, you can just shout out your magical talisman words, like "ROBERTBYRD!" or "CHAPPAQUIDICK!" and it magically erases any points made by anyone arguing against you, year after year, even when situations, or centuries change.

            It's a wonderful time to be a parrot! Breitbart has crackers!

          • BobSalem

            Why do libtards lie over and over to the point that they believe their own rubbish? You are a programmed idiot counselor. The real question is in the year 2011, why are YOU such a racist puke?

      • rubyslippers

        Obummer, it's funny because… wait, I don't get it.

      • GOPCrusher

        Wow. The "buyer's remorse" meme and the "blacks are racists" meme in the same post.
        Hard to beat the classics.
        And the Republiklan can't figure out why their message doesn't resonate with the African -American or Hispanic communities.

        • mumbly_joe

          I dunno, I'm a fan of the "Robert Byrd was in the Klan 70 years ago, and therefore all present-day Democrats are racist" meme. Maybe we could throw in the "Democrat plantation" meme for extra measure?

          Because, clearly, nobody's politics change over time, which is why it's Democratic Representatives who refer to the "war of Northern Aggression" on the House floor, and Democratic Governors of Mississippi who praise the White Citizens' Councils, and Democratic Senate Majority Leaders who write articles for the CofCC's website. I mean, CofCC! It says "liberal" right in the name! That's what the second "C" stands for!

          For that matter, what was the name of that other recently-dead feller who ran for preznit on a platform of "Segregation Forever"? He was a Democrat too, right?

          • glamourdammerung

            I like how the crying about Byrd ignores how racially equal the United States was in the early 1940s. I guess someone made up all those "whites only" toilet signs.

          • mumbly_joe

            Well, that's really the thing. Byrd repudiated his past involvement with the Klan, and spent roughly 50 years working to make up for it.

            Meanwhile, Trent Lott said, in 2002, that if we'd elected Mr. "Segregation Forever" -himself a had been elected President, "we wouldn't have had half the problems we have over the years". Oh, and then went on to be re-elected. But, no, it's clearly Democrats, and more specifically, the Left, that has the race problem, right?

            Byrd renounced his earlier association with the Klan. Did Strom Thurmond ever renounce his multiple campaigns to perpetuate segregation? No. No he did not.

          • glamourdammerung

            But according to teabaggers, you are the real racist for pointing out that Strom Thurmond was a racist for running as a pro-segregation candidate president and being unrepentant for such acts.

            And the teabagger crowd wonders why the public likes them less the more they know about them.

        • PristineODummy

          I thought the only reason the Republiklan message doesn't resonate with them people of coloured persuasions was because all them folks are so stupid and racist they only vote based on CULLAH. No?

      • SorosBot

        Thank you for proving our point by being incredibly fucking racist. Also, how the fuck is Obama at all racist, you racist puke?

        • BobSalem

          Go fuck your counselor.

          • SorosBot

            My, such whit has not been displayed since the Algonquin Round Table.

          • BobSalem

            It is good that you are such a progressive asswipe. Did you really pass the bar or did you stop for a drink at everyone of them?

            whit -noun

            Definition: smallest amount: the smallest imaginable degree or amount.

            I don't care a whit whether they succeed or fail.

          • Gopherit

            FULL OF LOVE, GODDAMN IT! I DON'T HATE!! NOT EVEN THE GUYS WHO KEEP VIOLATING MOM! THAT'S MY JOB!!!

          • Gopherit

            That's very telling. you brought up counselors……who touched you where? Just kidding, I don't care. Drop dead.

      • glamourdammerung

        Hey BobSalem, STILL waiting for you to link that unedited ACORN video that you seem to always disappear when I mention.

      • mumbly_joe

        Don't worry Bob, our hatred of you is DEFINITELY based on the content of your character, not the color of your skin.

  • Hatrabbit

    I think I speak for all of Newt's former wives when I say: Haven't we all had enough of Newt 'imposing' himself on people?

    • Sue4466

      Ew.

  • jus_wonderin

    Jaba, Jaba, Jaba, Jaba.

    Gawd, if she spoke in Huttese she'd make more sense.

    • Arken

      If she were a Hutt, she'd be more likable.

  • Mumbletypeg

    Leave it to Sarah, when it's advisable to take it down a notch, to bumpit up to eleven.

  • Sparky_McGruff

    Better nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

  • Hatrabbit

    apparently gained some creepiness too.

  • EBGrey

    Palin and Fox news are the Johnny Wads of outrage…they just keep on coming. Is that why they're called nutters?

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    Sarah Palin leading the charge to tamp down violent rhetoric is like Rielle Hunter criticizing Elizabeth Edwards' choice of lingerie.

    • GOPCrusher

      Gabby Giffords approves of this message.

  • Goonemeritus

    As a MAWG I admit that I mostly listen to Rap when stopped at a traffic light, but that doesn’t change my belief that all worthwhile art needs to be subversive.

    • undeterredbyreality
      • Goonemeritus

        That is almost a photo realistic depiction of our sitting room. It would only need our two border collies Iggy-Pup and Crissy-Hound to be at our feet to be perfect.

        • ShaveTheWhales

          Iggy-Pup and Chrissie-Hound? Really? This OWG salutes your musical taste.

    • James Michael Curley

      At traffic lights I often listen to Rap here in NJ. Unfortunately, I usually have the Dead on in my car.

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    "…the judgment is so lacking of class and decency and all that is good about America," Lou Sarah talking about herself, I guess…

    • undeterredbyreality

      "all that is good white about America…"

  • rhubarbpie2

    Let's just hope these college graduates learned a bit more than "college graduate" Palin did during her stints at Matanuska-Susitna College and the University of Idaho. After all, the coveted position of "babbling reality-TV performer/former governor" is not an option for everyone.

    • Native_of_SL_UT

      This just goes to show that it the problem is not that post graduates go back to living with their parents, it's that the wrong people aren't going back to live with their parents. Think of how much better the world would be now if Sarah had never left the basement to further her tweeting career like the rest of us.

  • elviouslyqueer

    See, I was about to make a brilliant snarky remark about Sarah actually listening to Common's entire "cop killer" lyric to the end where he actually decries the violence. But it's so much easier just to tell Sarah to SHUT THE FUCKING FUCK UP.

    • Gopherit

      Bitch needs tetanus worse than her daughters need condoms.

      • PristineODummy

        Right now she looks like she needs some of that liposuction her daughter just had. Teh jowls are being buried in teh saggy.

  • V572..whatever

    By "impose" do you mean "begin to implement laws passed by an elected legislative majority and signed by the president, in accordance with the Constitution"? If so, then, yes.

    • mumbly_joe

      Do they ever mean anything else, when they say "impose"?

      Oh, wait, sometimes they mean a Constitutional Amendment that passes congress and also then ratified by the states as well, instead.

  • FNMA

    She seemed to get along with them very well in the sequel to Who's Nailin' Paylin?
    Or so I've heard…

  • DaRooster

    Its that whole "I don't wanna look but I have to" car crash thing…

    • WriteyWriterton

      Gapers' delay. As it were.

  • DaRooster

    Wonder how Sarah will feel when Bristol has one of her new "roommates" babies?

    She can have her own Kenyan…

    • jus_wonderin

      I don't know about the other one but she is going to have to climb up on Kyle Massey to make it work.

    • prommie

      Oops, we better throw in another exception to the ban on abortions, rape, incest, and miscegenation.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Dumb people are dumb.

    • philpjfry

      Yes, yes they are.

  • DaSandman

    Just saw the video. Can someone please explain to me what this bitch knows about "human decency?"

    Also check out her eyes, she's as high as a kite.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Oh please, have you not learned anything? Librul = DOIN IT RONG 4EVA. Duh.

  • BarackMyWorld

    In fairness, I don't think Newt delivered the papers while she was in the hospital. That's usually done by a process server and Newt went to the hospital himself.

    • James Michael Curley

      Depends on the jurisdiction. In many states one doesn't need a process server. In some states the requirement is different for different courts (law, equity, chancery, orphans and so on). Do you know what state this occurred in? I thought the Newt's first divorce occurred while he was still in PA where, last time I was there (70's – about the same time) , the law court required deputies to serve but the orphans court permmitted the spouse to serve.

  • jus_wonderin

    I have to boast a similar fact.

    My daughter graduated (with full honors on a scholarship) in October with two distinct degrees. She had a job interview lined up for the job she has now…two days after graduation.

    My very conservative friend from High School has a son that took 7 years to get out with a general studies degree and is "taking over the family insurance business".

    Argh.

    • James Michael Curley

      Congrats to you and your progeny.

    • PristineODummy

      NOW do you understand why Repuglycans HATE welfare? They're all stuck providing it for their worthless crotchfruit.

  • Arken

    She's right. We totally need to stop this president supporting violent talk about killing presidents. We'll definitely have to reload and target him better.

  • Arken

    That was because of his patriotism.

  • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

    If Sarah Palin™ is offended by racist speech, she better not listen to Dr Laura Schlessinger … or what Schlessinger's apologists say afterwords.
    http://articles.nydailynews.com/2010-08-19/news/2

  • kissawookiee

    I have been doing my best intrepid research to identify the former president we're supposed to be united in having killed, but keep coming up blank. I mean, James Garfield pissed me off as much as the next guy, but I don't think we can give Obamer the credit for that one.

  • hagajim

    "He says the United States should “impose” solutions on “those forces that don’t want to change.”

    Does he mean like Hitler did? Sorry Riley….more war, endless war, war for the sake of war….YAY

    • GOPCrusher

      Newt just wants to make sure that those FEMA concentration camps don't go to waste. There are plenty of libruls, abortionists, atheists, minorities, etc. that are need of being "imposed" on.

  • philpjfry

    There is nothing this stupid, ignorant, evil, racist bitch won'tay to get attention. Jesus Christ could come down and say Obama is his chosen one and she would find something to criticize. Bury yourself in a snowdrift you cunt.

  • prommie

    She's fucking Emily fucking Litella, always outraged over her mistakes and misunderstandings, angry because of her own ignorance. She misreads the poem, then gets all outraged over her misinterpretation (same thing Breitbart did to Shirly Sherrod). The huge difference, of course, was that Emily Litella was educable, once someone explained her mistake to her she would apologize and say "oh, nevermind." Sarah would never ever ever admit a mistake.

    • jus_wonderin

      "It just goes to show ya, it's always something"

      Roseanne Roseannadanna

    • Geminisunmars

      What's all this I've been hearing about "Obama been lyin'?"

    • fuflans

      and – key point – then she would GO AWAY.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    The story is about Sarah Palin? Then why the photo of Kirstie Alley?

  • glamourdammerung

    What is more disgusting: Palin the Entertainer whining about decency after using her handicapped baby as a campaign prop and shield against valid criticism or Newt being considered a serious contender as the Republican candidate Obama is going to steamroller?

    • WriteyWriterton

      And, of course, death is not an option.

  • smitallica

    Look, I didn't love "Smokin' Aces," but certainly not because of Common's performance. Let the man speak!

  • Geminisunmars

    Aren't Newt and Calista the most anti-Obama of all the potential Repoob candidates? I mean, have you ever seen a whiter couple? Literally whiter?

  • smitallica

    I would actually prefer our children be taught that it feels good to have sex, which is true, than that an invisible man in the sky watches them do it, which is not.

    • Geminisunmars

      Well, that's the end of my fantasy life.

    • rubyslippers

      Far less creepy, too.

  • glamourdammerung

    Also, John Demjanjuk got five years prison for murdering 28,000 people.

    • GOPCrusher

      Finally?

  • undeterredbyreality

    It's too easy because it would require actual work–like research, thinking, etc.–to find something real to get upset about. Easy because all you have to do, really, is pick up the dog whistle and blow it.

  • Ducksworthy

    The thought of Gnut Gingerich "releasing" anything disgusts me.

  • Redhead

    "Yes, why hasn’t Obama tamped down inciting killing a former president?"

    Because he's too busy taking out Bin Laden since Bush failed to do so in seven years and protecting himself against his own 0394857349875394857349873490854 daily death threats from racist loons who listen to Palin and Beck like they're prophets? Just a thought.

    • GOPCrusher

      Hate groups topped 1,000 for the first time since the Southern Poverty Law Center began counting such groups in the 1980s. Anti-immigrant vigilante groups, despite having some of the political wind taken out of their sails by the adoption of hard-line anti-immigration laws around the country, continued to rise slowly. But by far the most dramatic growth came in the antigovernment “Patriot” movement — conspiracy-minded organizations that see the federal government as their primary enemy — which gained more than 300 new groups, a jump of over 60%.

      Taken together, these three strands of the radical right — the hatemongers, the nativists and the antigovernment zealots — increased from 1,753 groups in 2009 to 2,145 in 2010, a 22% rise. That followed a 2008-2009 increase of 40%.

      What may be most remarkable is that this growth of right-wing extremism came even as politicians around the country, blown by gusts from the Tea Parties and other conservative formations, tacked hard to the right, co-opting many of the issues important to extremists. Last April, for instance, Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer signed S.B. 1070, the harshest anti-immigrant law in memory, setting off a tsunami of proposals for similar laws across the country. Continuing growth of the radical right could be curtailed as a result of this shift, especially since Republicans, many of them highly conservative, recaptured the U.S. House last fall.
      http://splcenter.org/get-informed/intelligence-re

  • joobajooba

    That survey's old. And it referred to college kids' plans in May of 2010, to go home after graduation and look for work. Well, duh. Didn't say how long they stayed there.

    And isn't Sarah looking a little jowly in that pic? Time for a little jaw reconstruction maybe?

  • owhatever

    Lou Sarah has lost her MILFness, as well as her mind.

  • sportshort

    Sarah be dissing/her brain cells be missing/ the white hoi poloi/ their asses she kissing/ she whiter than bleach on bleach/ with nothing to teach/ cept freedom of speech/ hey y'all peace, be in reach

  • http://www.acepilots.com/wwi/can_bishop.html WABishop

    I'd love to see Newton spend even 15 minutes telling the truth. I'd pay to see that. It'll never happen, though.

  • proudgrampa

    Newt Gingrich = Dick

    Sarah Palin = Cunt

    End of Story.

    • BobSalem

      No, the story continues,

      proudgrampa = asshole and dick

      wanketters = lowlife pukes

      What do you call a hundred wanketters at the bottom of the ocean? A good start to eradicating the infestation known as libtard pukes!

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        See, if you'd had Obamacare, they could have caught the syphilis before it got this far.

      • ChessieNefercat

        Goodness gracious, you're a nasty, hateful bitter old man. Hopefully it's because you realize that you and you alone are the cause of your misery-filled life. Your hate-filled racist bile just oozes through the screen.

        Also:
        1) What did proudgrampa ever do to you? Oh wait, you're just hateful and nasty. 2) Try to be original or at least witty if you want to comment on Wonkette; the bottom of the ocean joke is older than dirt.
        3) We're not "wanketters", we're Wonketters, or maybe Wonketeers. Learn to spell. If it was supposed to be some clever play on "wanker", it failed.
        4) Keep right on telling yourself how everyone hates President Obama. It'll make it that much easier for him to wipe the floor with constitution-hating, unpatriotic assholes such as yourself.

      • proudgrampa

        Wow. Someone has "issues."

        Bob, I wish you well.

        • BobSalem

          I dont, I wish the worst for all assholes like you!

          • http://intensedebate.com/logout Gleem_McShineys

            Well, that certainly is a nice sentiment, Bob.

            Enjoy your lovely cromagnon lifestyle, dinosaurman! I can't wait until your stuffed body is eventually erected in a museum, displaying the amazing oddities of the conservaturd era for children to gawp at.

            Though I do believe in accuracy, hopefully standards of taste will prevent them creating a display of you masturbating into your own mouth. Children don't need to see that.

          • Gopherit

            He actually kisses his mom with that mouth…..and other things.

          • Gopherit

            I hope you talk shit to the wrong person and have your jaw broken. I hope you develop a raging case of ass-herpes from using your mom's dildo. I hope the fryer burps at burger king on your next shift, but they deny you workman's comp because everyone HATES YOU.

      • WriteyWriterton

        Hi, BobSalem. I hope you enjoy your visit here. Helpful hint: get better writers. Your material is, well, marginal. At best.

        Sincerely
        WW
        Puking Libtard since forevah

      • Gopherit

        OOO! I have one! Why does BobSalem wear ties? To keep the foreskin from creeping up around his ears!

      • mumbly_joe

        Well, you misspelt wonketters, but you definitely have me pegged, if nothing else. Yep! I'm a lowlife puke. A lowlife puke who spends 12 hours a day working with cancer patients, and six of the remaining hours tutoring children.

        Only… if we're lowlife pukes, and "BobSalem" is some entity who waves around a graphic image of a major tragedy that affected countless people far more than himself, all the way out in "real America" with no friends or family members who lived and worked in lower Manhattan, and who can't go a single round of verbal sparring with his intellectual betters before resorting to death threats… what does that make a "BobSalem"?

        • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

          Good for you MJ.

  • DahBoner

    How do you say "Spit, don't swallow, President Jimmy" in Hip-hop?

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Frijoles Negros on Moose Taco Night?

  • ttommyunger

    You don't fool this old man, Sarah; you've got a craving flung on you for a taste of the dark meat. I can tell by watching you. Your cavernous nether-regions are as hot and wet as the jacuzzi at my local YMCA (and as germ-free, I'm sure). You've got a really severe case of Jungle Fever! Don't be embarrassed; it happens to over-the-hill white women all the time. Go for it! Todd won't mind, I promise you; he'll be grateful for a little respite, and you can be sure I don't give a shit. Obama prolly won't fuck you but Vernon Jordan will. Hell, he'd fuck a Rattlesnake if someone would hold its head and he's even blacker than Barry. Relax, live a little, tick, tick, tick….

    • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

      the opening refrain of your great American novel?!

      • ttommyunger

        Interesting….

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    The Newt is so '90s (1890s, 1790s…)

  • Swampgas_Man

    He hangs around Redstate and NotsoBreitbart, wearing his pee like a badge of honor.

  • fuflans

    oh so very well said.

  • fuflans

    seriously, she looks terrible. did somebody stab the picture in her closet or something?

  • yyyaz

    Or, alternatively, to hook this vile species of slimy, extra-ugly bigmouth bass, all you have to do is bait the hook with dough and she'll take it every time.

  • __kth__

    White people, a little sick when it comes to the raps. I can't stand prog, but when Emerson Lake & Palmer comes on, I just change the station. But they can't just change the station.

    • NorthStarSpanx

      Country Music, exclusive only to the Republican Party and the only creative outlet they have – sure is short on the family values verbiage. From what I can stand to listen to, it's all about celebrating infidelity, payback, living paycheck-to-paycheck, catfights, domestic abuse, baby-mama/daddy confusion and betrayal.

      Common is a threat?

  • GOPCrusher

    It's only a matter of time before Bible Spice states that the Republiklans should be targeting the Obama Administration in 2012.

  • emmelemm

    The real question here is, why do you have a conservative friend?

  • chascates

    Judging by that photo Sarah should follow Bristol's lead and get a 'medically necessary' procedure to reduce her second chin.

  • BobSalem

    Wow…..time to change you diaper?

    • Gopherit

      you picked the right day, Bob. You are one of the most pathetic closet cased morons to ever pretend to troll here. You are a hydrocephalic twat who is easily outwitted by pull top aluminum cans. If you were on fire, I wouldn't throw your mom's chaw bucket on you to put you out. Go fuck yourself, Bob.

  • BobSalem

    yawn…yawn…yawn…Have you noticed that all the pukes on this site call everyone and anyone that doesn’t share the same liberal views a racist, homophobe or bigot? Most of you pukes are nothing but assholes hiding behind insults and calling all others names to hide who you assholes really are. And make no doubt, America knows that you lowlifes are a bunch of scum bags, evil, pathetic, lying losers that troll on America. Even the so-called journalists and attorneys here are nothing but vile scum bags.

    • SorosBot

      No, we only call racists racist. You just spouted the incredibly "black people are the real racists!" meme, and used the racist phrasing "the blacks". Read your comment again – it was incredibly racist, that's why we're you out for your racism.

      • BobSalem

        The truth isn’t a racist comment asswipe. You are incredibly racist and hide behind your racism by calling everyone else one. My step dad, who is black, will readily admit that way too many families are raising their kids to hate white people only due to their skin color. But of course in your world only white people that are conservatives are racists and only white people can be racist. So in the end we know that you and your wankettes are nothing but a bunch of scum bags, evil, pathetic, lying losers that troll on America. Even the so-called journalists and attorneys here are nothing but vile scum bags.

        • Gainsbourg69

          Why would you invent a black stepfather for yourself just to win an argument when even the old "I've got friends who are black" would've sufficed?

          • BobSalem

            Why did your mother have you when the mailman would have been happy with a blowjob?

          • Gopherit

            You, your mom, oral, anal and talk of being a bastard…..also mentioning a counselor. Man, your story just sounds rancid.

        • glamourdammerung

          The problem is that I already proved you are a liar a few weeks back with your claim that Andrew Breitbart put out the unedited ACORN "sting videos" and they were all over the internet.

          So you can call people names all you like, but the fact is you are a liar and we both know it.

    • ChessieNefercat

      "Most of you pukes are nothing but assholes hiding behind insults and calling all others names to hide who you assholes really are. And make no doubt, America knows that you lowlifes are a bunch of scum bags, evil, pathetic, lying losers that troll on America. Even the so-called journalists and attorneys here are nothing but vile scum bags. "

      Pot, meet kettle. Self-introspection not your thing?

      Seriously, Bob, you are one angry, angry, bitter racist. Being here just seems to make you angrier. Try not to pop a blood vessel typing out your foaming-at-the-mouth screeds.

    • http://intensedebate.com/logout Gleem_McShineys

      Walk on past the part of my post that showed — WITH YOUR OWN LINK — that you were mistaken. Lo and behold! A confused conservatard doesn't comprehend!?! Color me shocked.

      Shorter: Dude, Snopes doesn't say what you think it says.

      Maybe you think you can shout enough about the "bigotry" part of my comment, to completely erase the fact that your own link says you're cherry-picking quotes out of context, or making them up out of nowhere. SHOUT! LOUDER! IT! IS! OUTRAGE!

      But sure, Bob, why don't we make a deal?

      I'll call my own self a scumbag lowlife… as soon as you ask your black stepdad what he thinks of people who cherry-pick Obama's quotes out of context, or make them up, in order to rile up racists, magically allowing the racists to justify their own racism.

      Ask him that, and be sure to point out who was doing that.
      Big Unmistakeable (even to a Conservatard) Hint: IT IS YOU.

  • Gopherit

    Palin preemptively shot back against her critics, saying she is a proponent of free speech and is not "anti-rap."

    "Like [Fox News anchor] Brett Baier, I know the lyrics of 'Rappers Delight too.'"
    http://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/

    Bitch is jiggy wit it.

    • NorthStarSpanx

      Sarah's always been about being a MILF and showing her kids friends how down-with-it she is, saying things like "Shout-out," "Awesome," and "H8r," thought she was so cool, nodding her head like, "yeah," during Amy Poehler's rap on SNL.

  • http://dregstudiosart.blogspot.com DREGstudios

    Palin and FOX only say what they think their audience wants to hear as far as Neocon propaganda. This imprudent commentary has caused damage to the world view of America including critical comments such as this which expose not only racism and bigotry but the obtuse world-view of the people this kind of rhetoric seems fit to represent. I was compelled to create a visual commentary about this very thing on my artist’s blog at http://dregstudiosart.blogspot.com/2011/01/sarah-

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      Don't blogwhore.

  • glamourdammerung

    Replying to me is not ignoring me.

    Still waiting for you to be able to back up your mouth, coward.

  • horsedreamer_1

    Show us the matriculant certificate!

  • http://intensedebate.com/logout Gleem_McShineys

    Nope Bob, I didn't defend any of them. You might not be able to understand this (!) but I was just being critical of your simple use of a placeholder like BYRD to represent every Democrat — as if that guy stood for anything other than who he is. Or WAS. He's dead now. You knew that, right?

    But hey, you're into that broad-brushin' thing, then? So, I have to ask — how many diaper-whores do you visit, Mr. Vitter Junior? (in case you don't get it, I'm automatically equating YOU with a bad example from your party, which is exactly what YOU did with Byrd. See how it works? Of course you don't. You're welcome!)

  • MadBrahms

    Word choice: "change", not progress. Changing the country into a messy heap of poor, sick bodies – still change! Foolproof campaign promise.

  • lulzmonger

    "It's too easy … because Bristol got me this AWESOME "Mad Libs 4 Wingnuts" booklet, & now my speeches for the next five years are already written! METH BINGE, HERE I COME!"

  • NorthStarSpanx

    But since Elmo is from Public Television, he is too, also evil. Koch needs to own his ass!

  • Gopherit

    You are fucking liar bob. Just like your promise to post all of Obama's lies. Pussy. so scared of brown people. I am sorry your mom whores herself out but that's not our problem.

  • PristineODummy

    Can't we stuff them in her burnt bush instead? An offering of sorts?

  • PristineODummy

    The sight of that fine lady running in any direction would, uh, yes, well … BRB.

  • Negropolis

    This bitch deserves a black grandbaby **this** much.