IT'S MORNING IN AMERICA  9:59 am May 12, 2011

Sarah Palin Earns Fox News Check By Implying Common, Obama Are Racist

by Jack Stuef

There are no words. We've used them all.

  • “It is just too easy,” dutiful Fox News screecher Sarah Palin said to get another check last night, referring to her ability to pick a fight with the White House for allowing a (CELEBRATED) black hip-hop artist into the building, knowing that a very familiar segment of the country will automatically believe any negative thing a white public figure says about such a man. Her syntax was convoluted as always, but she still managed to imply Common and the president are racist: “We thought we were to be united under the leader of the free world, Barack Obama in tamping down racism and inciting violence — and cop killing certainly — and killing a former president.” Yes, why hasn’t Obama tamped down inciting killing a former president? The only thing children are being taught today is that it feels good to have sex, do drugs, and force Jimmy Carter to drink a fatal amount of antifreeze. [Politico]
  • Newt Gingrich released his opening campaign video. He says the United States should “impose” solutions on “those forces that don’t want to change.” Your number’s up, gay people! And he says he will “tell the truth,” so we guess he’s going to be totally upfront with his wife about all the affairs he’s going to have these coming months. [YouTube]
  • A survey says 85% of college graduates move back home with their parents after they get their diploma. This is because the economy has found human beings are no longer required in order to make profits. Future: won. [Time]
 
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{ 268 comments }

skoalrebel May 12, 2011 at 10:02 am

I'm what they call "ahead of the curve" 'cuz I live with my parents and don't even have a college diploma. [spit] Winning!

trampndirtdown May 12, 2011 at 10:04 am

You sir are a trendsetter.

Negropolis May 13, 2011 at 1:43 am

And a gentlement, to boot. A scholar. Also.

Captain_Quark May 12, 2011 at 10:08 am

Have you considered a career as an economic consultant? A man with your skills and life experience might provide needed insight to top management in both the public and private sectors.

Negropolis May 13, 2011 at 1:44 am

WTF (Won the Future).

mrblifil May 12, 2011 at 10:17 am

What a waste! Clearly your rightful place is in non-profit arts administration.

horsedreamer_1 May 12, 2011 at 11:10 am

SkoalRebel's first installation will be Chaw Christ: a crucifix submerged in an RC Cola litre bottle, the soda replaced by spent chewing tobacco.

skoalrebel May 12, 2011 at 11:18 am

Fuck no! [spit] I'm workin' on Dippin' Messiah: John the Baptist anointing Jesus by pouring a bottle of dip spit on his head, while a bald eagle comes down from the sky screaming "USA! Let's Roll! USA!"

GOPCrusher May 12, 2011 at 1:03 pm

Put Zombie Reagan in the background, watching the events, I believe this may sweep the flea markets across this great nation.

PristineODummy May 13, 2011 at 12:33 am

Wait, isn't "Let's Roll!" trademarked, or copyrighted, or something?

BklynIlluminati May 12, 2011 at 10:02 am

Feels good to have sex – Bristol Palin

mereoblivion May 12, 2011 at 10:07 am

With almost any adult on earth other than Bristol Palin.

V572..whatever May 12, 2011 at 10:27 am

Although if there's no one else around, why not? Look at that beautiful new face in the mirror!

widestanceroman May 12, 2011 at 10:32 am

She's on a slippery slope to full-blown Sarah Jessica Parker with her new equestrian chin.

James Michael Curley May 12, 2011 at 12:22 pm

Bristol needed the work as she is up for the title role in "War Horse."

PristineODummy May 13, 2011 at 12:33 am

With a chin like a baby's bum.

Terry May 12, 2011 at 10:46 am

Feels good to have sex on the bench seat of a pick up that's parked out by the dump – Bristol Palin

There, fixed.

SorosBot May 12, 2011 at 11:10 am

Though it's cold and lonely in the deep dark night, there's paradise by the dashboard lights…

James Michael Curley May 12, 2011 at 12:23 pm

As was said back in the 70's; "Never let you Meat Loaf."

tessiee May 12, 2011 at 2:28 pm

It's mid-May already, signaling the time when the warm weather arrives, flowers bloom, birds make their nests, and Whistle makes her annual change from having sex in pickup trucks to having outdoor sex standing up behind the dumpster.

MMathS May 12, 2011 at 10:03 am

"You're number's up…"

Ugh. Sarah, is that you?

DaRooster May 12, 2011 at 10:03 am

"The only thing children are being taught today is that it feels good to have sex…"

Unless you are Levi… especially the "after party"… for like a couple of years.

CapeClod May 12, 2011 at 10:03 am

So Newty's campaign slogan is going to be, "Change That You Are Going To Have To Get Used To"?

CountryClubJihadi May 12, 2011 at 10:08 am

or "Yes You Will".

Chet Kincaid May 12, 2011 at 11:58 am

"Newt. Triumph Of The Will."

Swampgas_Man May 12, 2011 at 12:37 pm

"Republicans: Triumph of the Won't."

GOPCrusher May 12, 2011 at 1:04 pm

"Got any change?"

Negropolis May 13, 2011 at 1:46 am

Newt: No means Yes

BaldarTFlagass May 12, 2011 at 10:03 am

Ah, Sarah, that struts and frets her hour upon the stage. And then is heard no more: it is a tale, told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing

DaSandman May 12, 2011 at 10:06 am

Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing…

CapeClod May 12, 2011 at 10:08 am

Howl, howl, howl.

predilectrix May 12, 2011 at 10:16 am

Exit, pursued by a bear.

Please.

Not_So_Much May 12, 2011 at 11:11 am

'We are also, as for those in uniform, liberty! Lamestream gotcha danged socialism, also. Violence, but not also, surveyor marks. Blood libel. All of 'em!!

undeterredbyreality May 12, 2011 at 11:20 am

The rest is silence.

Please.

BlueStateLibel May 12, 2011 at 12:16 pm

I have a feeling Shakespeare wrote that phrase specifically for Sarah, it just fits like a glove.

BaldarTFlagass May 12, 2011 at 4:04 pm

It's like he knew her or something. Maybe he used Huck's magic time machine.

sati_demise May 12, 2011 at 4:18 pm

"heard no more"…….if only that was true………

LesPaultard May 12, 2011 at 10:04 am

What percentage of kids who don't get diplomas will move back home?
…I don't want them back.

metamarcisf May 12, 2011 at 10:04 am

I love Wonkette but you cretins are giving this woman too much air time.

widestanceroman May 12, 2011 at 10:35 am

It's gonna be All-Newt/All-Day all too soon, so enjoy the Palin while you can.

Terry May 12, 2011 at 10:44 am

Meta,

Your pee-value is dangerously close to sneaking into the negative two digits.

samsuncle May 12, 2011 at 11:00 am

Don't ya know that Sara is the woman we love to hate? Also, too.

ManchuCandidate May 12, 2011 at 10:05 am

"He says the United States should “impose” solutions on “those forces that don’t want to change.”

Irony of Southern Man advocating the "Wah of Nawthun Aggreshun" solushun on people frozen in time.

jonzin May 12, 2011 at 10:57 am

Newty is NOT a Southern man. He's from Jersey or something. Another thing that is just pure fake, poser, bullshit about him.

horsedreamer_1 May 12, 2011 at 11:11 am

Pennsylvania.

You know who else was really from Pennsylvania?

RedneckMuslin May 12, 2011 at 12:07 pm

Mario Lanza

rubyslippers May 12, 2011 at 12:37 pm

Santorum maybe? Not sure, let's google it.

GOPCrusher May 12, 2011 at 1:07 pm

Dan Marino?

ShaveTheWhales May 13, 2011 at 2:37 am

Joe Montana.

horsedreamer_1 May 12, 2011 at 4:20 pm

The correct answer: Joe Biden.

DaRooster May 12, 2011 at 10:06 am

"…so we guess he’s going to be totally upfront with his wife about all the affairs he’s going to have these coming months…"

Only because he LOVES this country soooo much… oh, and he's a cheatin' piece of shit… too… as well.

fredbell May 12, 2011 at 10:06 am

Why is there a picture of Kirstie Alley up?

DaRooster May 12, 2011 at 10:31 am

She ain't NO Kirstie!!

Barb May 12, 2011 at 10:06 am

Racist? Did anyone in the Fox audience scream "kill him" while Sarah spoke? They usually do and she pretends that she doesn't hear it.

freakishlywrong May 12, 2011 at 10:11 am

And brought stuffed monkeys to her hate rallies? No problem!

BaldarTFlagass May 12, 2011 at 10:23 am

Makes a bandaid with a purple heart on it seem pretty tame in comparison.

johnnymeatworth May 12, 2011 at 10:06 am

Uh oh, Obama's in Sarah's crosshairs!

bflrtsplk May 12, 2011 at 10:14 am

You mean surveyor's marks, amiright?

WriteyWriterton May 12, 2011 at 1:54 pm

She will pop a survey in your a**.

Gopherit May 12, 2011 at 11:25 am

Surveyor marks. She will Survey the shit out of you.

LabRodent May 12, 2011 at 10:07 am

May 21st cant come quick enough! With this shit Im about ready for some good old fashion apocalypse NOW.

BaldarTFlagass May 12, 2011 at 10:38 am

I read up on this a bit, apparently "they" expect about 200 million people to get raptured worldwide next Saturday. Not enough, I say.

emmelemm May 12, 2011 at 1:44 pm

Maybe if it was 200 million in the U.S., that might be enough. 200 million worldwide – won't even miss 'em.

Personally I've always been hoping for a really good plague, a la The Stand.

PristineODummy May 13, 2011 at 12:38 am

Sheesh, that's not even gonna make a noticeable dent in the global population.

Steverino247 May 12, 2011 at 1:11 pm

Never get off the goddamned boat… Absolutely fuckin' right.

GuyClinch May 12, 2011 at 10:07 am

Isn't Common's girlfriend Serena Williams? I'd really really like to see Serena take this up with Sarah. You know, stand by her man, &c.

BaldarTFlagass May 12, 2011 at 10:10 am

Or send her sister, Venus the Predator.

V572..whatever May 12, 2011 at 10:31 am

You really wouldn't want to be on the wrong side of either one of those fine ladies. Just ask that line judge Serena went after at Forest Hills. Or look at Serena's racket.

James Michael Curley May 12, 2011 at 12:28 pm

Judging by the trend in past performances, this year at Wimbleton Serena is planning to display her rack.

Terry May 12, 2011 at 10:43 am

By "stand by her man" , I hope you mean "kick her ass".

PristineODummy May 13, 2011 at 12:39 am

I imagine that's a given. But then again, I have a vicious imagination.

undeterredbyreality May 12, 2011 at 11:27 am

Where can I get tickets for this?

Chet Kincaid May 12, 2011 at 12:04 pm

On the other hand, Serena Williams running toward me, naked, in slow motion, is a recurring dream that often disturbs my sleep. Away from me, also.

WriteyWriterton May 12, 2011 at 1:56 pm

Her running toward you is disturbing? I think that would call for open arms, but that's just me.

EdFlintstone May 12, 2011 at 10:07 am

Sarah if you're going to talk about race, stop at Tahd's irondog snowmachine race.

V572..whatever May 12, 2011 at 10:07 am

Racism in this country could use a good tamp-down. Sarah's given you your orders, get after it, "President" Obama!

And by "tamping down" she doesn't mean "eradicated." She means "not talked about so much," or, in her native Alaskuntese: "Ya can't say 'nigger' anymore."

Clancy_Pants May 12, 2011 at 10:09 am

At least Sarah doesn't have to worry about what her kids do after they graduate college.

jus_wonderin May 12, 2011 at 10:17 am

Well Bristol has made out so well, we have to expect a bun in the oven of Willow.

Hatrabbit May 12, 2011 at 10:31 am

By college you mean 'Maternity Ward', right?

Gopherit May 12, 2011 at 11:28 am

Sarah has never once really cared for any of her children(*) after they fell from her vag with a dull, wet thud.

*Acting like you care to score political points does not count.

ManchuCandidate May 12, 2011 at 10:09 am

In the faint hope of Nip slips or upskirt shots.

SorosBot May 12, 2011 at 10:17 am

With that hideous thing? Ew ew ew.

Hatrabbit May 12, 2011 at 10:25 am

Do upskirt shots qualify as investigative journalism?

That would be a milestone for Fox.

Gopherit May 12, 2011 at 10:27 am

It really does have teeth.

BaldarTFlagass May 12, 2011 at 10:09 am

You know who else imposed solutions on those forces that didn't want to change?

CapeClod May 12, 2011 at 10:14 am

NATO in Libya?

LesPaultard May 12, 2011 at 10:15 am

My mom?

SorosBot May 12, 2011 at 10:20 am

Batman?

LabRodent May 12, 2011 at 10:28 am

Joe the not really a Plumber?

kissawookiee May 12, 2011 at 10:31 am

My high school physics teacher?

Geminisunmars May 12, 2011 at 11:05 am

Michelle Obama?

undeterredbyreality May 12, 2011 at 11:32 am

Einstein?

WABishop May 12, 2011 at 11:56 am

Businesses across America every day of the week?

GOPCrusher May 12, 2011 at 1:13 pm

Stephen Hawking?

LocalGirlMakesGoo May 12, 2011 at 1:46 pm

The HR lady at work?

Negropolis May 13, 2011 at 1:52 am

Celine Dion?

mumbly_joe May 13, 2011 at 7:10 am

William Tecumseh Sherman?

EatsBabyDingos May 12, 2011 at 10:10 am

"Change Your Depends"

ManchuCandidate May 12, 2011 at 10:10 am

I'm just waiting for her to say "Nigger Nigger Nigger" and get it out in the open. I'll bet it's killing her because deep down you know she wants to say it.

LabRodent May 12, 2011 at 10:18 am

There is this room at Fox News that only certain people know about behind studio B where its ok to scream it out. There's always a long line going to it.

SorosBot May 12, 2011 at 10:18 am

It appears her current thinly-veiled code word is "rapper".

GOPCrusher May 12, 2011 at 1:12 pm

I just have to imagine that they have Bible Spice on a seven second delay, whenever she is on.

PristineODummy May 13, 2011 at 12:42 am

She's been wanting to say it out LOUD ever since she lost that beauty pageant winky slinky thingy to the only black woman living in AK.

John Birf Society May 12, 2011 at 10:10 am

Apparently it is "medically necessary" for Sarah to be on TV every day.

CapeClod May 12, 2011 at 11:05 am

It looks like Sarah and Bristol exchanged wattles.

baconzgood May 12, 2011 at 10:11 am

Dear Common,

The poet Behan once said that there is no such thing as bad publicity except your obituary, or somthing like that. Enjoy your increased sales and send Sarah a thank you note.

Mr. Zgood.

Thurman Munster IV May 12, 2011 at 10:12 am

Lou Sarah certainly puts the Cunt in Country

FNMA May 12, 2011 at 10:30 am

Hank III!
So who puts the Dick in Dixie?

PristineODummy May 13, 2011 at 12:44 am

I'm sorry, man, that is SO Rosanne Cash's line.

trampndirtdown May 12, 2011 at 10:12 am

You know who else wanted to impose solutions hmmm?

mrblifil May 12, 2011 at 10:18 am

The Oxiclean guy?

jus_wonderin May 12, 2011 at 10:23 am

I like to vacation in the Solutions. Though this year I am opting for a stay-cation.

trampndirtdown May 12, 2011 at 10:27 am

Damn you Baldar (shakes fist at sky)

BarackMyWorld May 12, 2011 at 10:33 am

James T. Kirk?

SorosBot May 12, 2011 at 10:39 am

Someone carrying a picture of Chairman Mao, who's not gonna make it with anyone anyhow?

BTWBFDIMHO May 12, 2011 at 11:43 am

The precipitate?

Steverino247 May 12, 2011 at 1:13 pm

My chemistry teachers?

GOPCrusher May 12, 2011 at 1:18 pm

John Kenneth Galbraith?

deanbooth May 12, 2011 at 10:13 am

Newt, a prophet of the Cretins, has said: 'Cretins are always liars'. He has surely told the truth.

4TheTurnstiles May 12, 2011 at 10:15 am

Your move, Herman Cain. (Can you trust Alan Keyes or Clarence Thomas or for a laugh Michael Steele if you call them in on Black Republican Backup?)

BaldarTFlagass May 12, 2011 at 10:16 am

He says the United States should “impose” solutions on “those forces that don’t want to change.”

FDR laughs hysterically, from the beyond.

Gopherit May 12, 2011 at 11:29 am

Opus Dei has always had it in for the Christ Killers.

glamourdammerung May 12, 2011 at 11:37 am

In fairness, they seem to have it in for the United States as well.

OkieDokieDog May 12, 2011 at 10:18 am

That's right Sarah Lou, keep tellin' it just like it is. Remember the good ole days of George Double You and we was all united and stuff because he was a unite-r not a divider. If only we could return to the days when the blacks could not play the "hoops" in the Rose Garden. I pray that a real Christian man gets elected and we can return to the days of white culture ONLY in the White House just like God said in the bible.

DahBoner May 12, 2011 at 12:08 pm

What time is the next cross burning?

BobSalem May 12, 2011 at 12:21 pm

Thank you for proving Sarah's point. Obummer is much more of a racist than any liberal puke would ever admit to. And you apparently are as well. Many people in this country voted for the "Hype & Change" Obummer promised and most Americans are suffering from a serious case of buyer’s remorse. As long as assholes like you and Obummer can keep playing the victim and race cards this country will never become united. Slavery was a very unfortunate reality hundreds of year ago and many good people fought to change it. The truth is while most races are raising their children to accept and treat people for their actions and not for the color of their skin, way too many blacks are raising their children to hate white people for only the color of their skin! And Obummer convinced many that he was different and wanted to be a uniter and since he has been in the white house racial hate and tensions are higher than ever. And it is the blacks in this country that are full all the hate, not the whites. But don’t let the truth get in the way of your beliefs and lies.

OkieDokieDog May 12, 2011 at 12:44 pm

Thank you BobSalem for proving the point that assholes like you and Sarah Palin who think that the POTUS, Mr. Barrack Obama, or ""Obummer" as you like to call him, is responsible for the racists like you and Palin to come out from underneath your Klan robes is ridiculous.

BobSalem May 12, 2011 at 1:02 pm

I wonder if your grandmother is nothing but another typical white grandmother like Obummers? Or perhaps Robert Byrd? Remember him, one of your heroes!

Barack Obama Says "White Folks" Are "Cruel" And "Ignorant.
http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/coilofrage.a

SorosBot May 12, 2011 at 2:02 pm

Of course, Robert Byrd; you know how stupid it shows you are when you pull out the most tired argument conservatives used to disingenuously claim "Democrats are the real racists" no matter how many times it's refuted and how tedious it is? Really, why do you wingnuts keep saying the exact same thing over and over and over and over and over and over again?

rubyslippers May 12, 2011 at 12:45 pm

Obummer, it's funny because… wait, I don't get it.

GOPCrusher May 12, 2011 at 1:24 pm

Wow. The "buyer's remorse" meme and the "blacks are racists" meme in the same post.
Hard to beat the classics.
And the Republiklan can't figure out why their message doesn't resonate with the African -American or Hispanic communities.

mumbly_joe May 12, 2011 at 3:56 pm

I dunno, I'm a fan of the "Robert Byrd was in the Klan 70 years ago, and therefore all present-day Democrats are racist" meme. Maybe we could throw in the "Democrat plantation" meme for extra measure?

Because, clearly, nobody's politics change over time, which is why it's Democratic Representatives who refer to the "war of Northern Aggression" on the House floor, and Democratic Governors of Mississippi who praise the White Citizens' Councils, and Democratic Senate Majority Leaders who write articles for the CofCC's website. I mean, CofCC! It says "liberal" right in the name! That's what the second "C" stands for!

For that matter, what was the name of that other recently-dead feller who ran for preznit on a platform of "Segregation Forever"? He was a Democrat too, right?

glamourdammerung May 12, 2011 at 4:08 pm

I like how the crying about Byrd ignores how racially equal the United States was in the early 1940s. I guess someone made up all those "whites only" toilet signs.

PristineODummy May 13, 2011 at 12:51 am

I thought the only reason the Republiklan message doesn't resonate with them people of coloured persuasions was because all them folks are so stupid and racist they only vote based on CULLAH. No?

SorosBot May 12, 2011 at 1:59 pm

Thank you for proving our point by being incredibly fucking racist. Also, how the fuck is Obama at all racist, you racist puke?

BobSalem May 12, 2011 at 2:09 pm

Go fuck your counselor.

SorosBot May 12, 2011 at 2:20 pm

My, such whit has not been displayed since the Algonquin Round Table.

Gopherit May 12, 2011 at 6:32 pm

That's very telling. you brought up counselors……who touched you where? Just kidding, I don't care. Drop dead.

glamourdammerung May 12, 2011 at 3:54 pm

Hey BobSalem, STILL waiting for you to link that unedited ACORN video that you seem to always disappear when I mention.

mumbly_joe May 12, 2011 at 4:36 pm

Don't worry Bob, our hatred of you is DEFINITELY based on the content of your character, not the color of your skin.

Hatrabbit May 12, 2011 at 10:18 am

I think I speak for all of Newt's former wives when I say: Haven't we all had enough of Newt 'imposing' himself on people?

Sue4466 May 12, 2011 at 11:10 am

Ew.

jus_wonderin May 12, 2011 at 10:20 am

Jaba, Jaba, Jaba, Jaba.

Gawd, if she spoke in Huttese she'd make more sense.

Arken May 12, 2011 at 10:48 am

If she were a Hutt, she'd be more likable.

Mumbletypeg May 12, 2011 at 10:21 am

Leave it to Sarah, when it's advisable to take it down a notch, to bumpit up to eleven.

Sparky_McGruff May 12, 2011 at 10:22 am

Better nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

Hatrabbit May 12, 2011 at 10:23 am

apparently gained some creepiness too.

EBGrey May 12, 2011 at 10:24 am

Palin and Fox news are the Johnny Wads of outrage…they just keep on coming. Is that why they're called nutters?

mrblifil May 12, 2011 at 10:26 am

Sarah Palin leading the charge to tamp down violent rhetoric is like Rielle Hunter criticizing Elizabeth Edwards' choice of lingerie.

GOPCrusher May 12, 2011 at 1:25 pm

Gabby Giffords approves of this message.

Goonemeritus May 12, 2011 at 10:26 am

As a MAWG I admit that I mostly listen to Rap when stopped at a traffic light, but that doesn’t change my belief that all worthwhile art needs to be subversive.

undeterredbyreality May 12, 2011 at 11:36 am
Goonemeritus May 12, 2011 at 11:45 am

That is almost a photo realistic depiction of our sitting room. It would only need our two border collies Iggy-Pup and Crissy-Hound to be at our feet to be perfect.

ShaveTheWhales May 13, 2011 at 2:42 am

Iggy-Pup and Chrissie-Hound? Really? This OWG salutes your musical taste.

James Michael Curley May 12, 2011 at 12:35 pm

At traffic lights I often listen to Rap here in NJ. Unfortunately, I usually have the Dead on in my car.

BZ1 May 12, 2011 at 10:28 am

"…the judgment is so lacking of class and decency and all that is good about America," Lou Sarah talking about herself, I guess…

undeterredbyreality May 12, 2011 at 11:38 am

"all that is good white about America…"

rhubarbpie2 May 12, 2011 at 10:28 am

Let's just hope these college graduates learned a bit more than "college graduate" Palin did during her stints at Matanuska-Susitna College and the University of Idaho. After all, the coveted position of "babbling reality-TV performer/former governor" is not an option for everyone.

Native_of_SL_UT May 12, 2011 at 11:36 am

This just goes to show that it the problem is not that post graduates go back to living with their parents, it's that the wrong people aren't going back to live with their parents. Think of how much better the world would be now if Sarah had never left the basement to further her tweeting career like the rest of us.

elviouslyqueer May 12, 2011 at 10:29 am

See, I was about to make a brilliant snarky remark about Sarah actually listening to Common's entire "cop killer" lyric to the end where he actually decries the violence. But it's so much easier just to tell Sarah to SHUT THE FUCKING FUCK UP.

Gopherit May 12, 2011 at 11:47 am

Bitch needs tetanus worse than her daughters need condoms.

PristineODummy May 13, 2011 at 12:56 am

Right now she looks like she needs some of that liposuction her daughter just had. Teh jowls are being buried in teh saggy.

V572..whatever May 12, 2011 at 10:29 am

By "impose" do you mean "begin to implement laws passed by an elected legislative majority and signed by the president, in accordance with the Constitution"? If so, then, yes.

mumbly_joe May 12, 2011 at 6:59 pm

Do they ever mean anything else, when they say "impose"?

Oh, wait, sometimes they mean a Constitutional Amendment that passes congress and also then ratified by the states as well, instead.

FNMA May 12, 2011 at 10:31 am

She seemed to get along with them very well in the sequel to Who's Nailin' Paylin?
Or so I've heard…

DaRooster May 12, 2011 at 10:34 am

Its that whole "I don't wanna look but I have to" car crash thing…

WriteyWriterton May 12, 2011 at 1:56 pm

Gapers' delay. As it were.

DaRooster May 12, 2011 at 10:40 am

Wonder how Sarah will feel when Bristol has one of her new "roommates" babies?

She can have her own Kenyan…

jus_wonderin May 12, 2011 at 10:41 am

I don't know about the other one but she is going to have to climb up on Kyle Massey to make it work.

prommie May 12, 2011 at 11:10 am

Oops, we better throw in another exception to the ban on abortions, rape, incest, and miscegenation.

BarackMyWorld May 12, 2011 at 10:42 am

Dumb people are dumb.

philpjfry May 12, 2011 at 11:03 am

Yes, yes they are.

DaSandman May 12, 2011 at 10:43 am

Just saw the video. Can someone please explain to me what this bitch knows about "human decency?"

Also check out her eyes, she's as high as a kite.

elviouslyqueer May 12, 2011 at 10:44 am

Oh please, have you not learned anything? Librul = DOIN IT RONG 4EVA. Duh.

BarackMyWorld May 12, 2011 at 10:44 am

In fairness, I don't think Newt delivered the papers while she was in the hospital. That's usually done by a process server and Newt went to the hospital himself.

James Michael Curley May 12, 2011 at 12:45 pm

Depends on the jurisdiction. In many states one doesn't need a process server. In some states the requirement is different for different courts (law, equity, chancery, orphans and so on). Do you know what state this occurred in? I thought the Newt's first divorce occurred while he was still in PA where, last time I was there (70's – about the same time) , the law court required deputies to serve but the orphans court permmitted the spouse to serve.

jus_wonderin May 12, 2011 at 10:44 am

I have to boast a similar fact.

My daughter graduated (with full honors on a scholarship) in October with two distinct degrees. She had a job interview lined up for the job she has now…two days after graduation.

My very conservative friend from High School has a son that took 7 years to get out with a general studies degree and is "taking over the family insurance business".

Argh.

James Michael Curley May 12, 2011 at 12:39 pm

Congrats to you and your progeny.

PristineODummy May 13, 2011 at 12:58 am

NOW do you understand why Repuglycans HATE welfare? They're all stuck providing it for their worthless crotchfruit.

Arken May 12, 2011 at 10:44 am

She's right. We totally need to stop this president supporting violent talk about killing presidents. We'll definitely have to reload and target him better.

Arken May 12, 2011 at 10:45 am

That was because of his patriotism.

JustPixelz May 12, 2011 at 10:47 am

If Sarah Palin™ is offended by racist speech, she better not listen to Dr Laura Schlessinger … or what Schlessinger's apologists say afterwords.
http://articles.nydailynews.com/2010-08-19/news/2

kissawookiee May 12, 2011 at 10:57 am

I have been doing my best intrepid research to identify the former president we're supposed to be united in having killed, but keep coming up blank. I mean, James Garfield pissed me off as much as the next guy, but I don't think we can give Obamer the credit for that one.

hagajim May 12, 2011 at 11:00 am

"He says the United States should “impose” solutions on “those forces that don’t want to change.”

Does he mean like Hitler did? Sorry Riley….more war, endless war, war for the sake of war….YAY

GOPCrusher May 12, 2011 at 1:31 pm

Newt just wants to make sure that those FEMA concentration camps don't go to waste. There are plenty of libruls, abortionists, atheists, minorities, etc. that are need of being "imposed" on.

philpjfry May 12, 2011 at 11:02 am

There is nothing this stupid, ignorant, evil, racist bitch won'tay to get attention. Jesus Christ could come down and say Obama is his chosen one and she would find something to criticize. Bury yourself in a snowdrift you cunt.

prommie May 12, 2011 at 11:08 am

She's fucking Emily fucking Litella, always outraged over her mistakes and misunderstandings, angry because of her own ignorance. She misreads the poem, then gets all outraged over her misinterpretation (same thing Breitbart did to Shirly Sherrod). The huge difference, of course, was that Emily Litella was educable, once someone explained her mistake to her she would apologize and say "oh, nevermind." Sarah would never ever ever admit a mistake.

jus_wonderin May 12, 2011 at 11:15 am

"It just goes to show ya, it's always something"

Roseanne Roseannadanna

Geminisunmars May 12, 2011 at 11:33 am

What's all this I've been hearing about "Obama been lyin'?"

fuflans May 12, 2011 at 1:15 pm

and – key point – then she would GO AWAY.

KeepFnThatChicken May 12, 2011 at 11:10 am

The story is about Sarah Palin? Then why the photo of Kirstie Alley?

glamourdammerung May 12, 2011 at 11:14 am

What is more disgusting: Palin the Entertainer whining about decency after using her handicapped baby as a campaign prop and shield against valid criticism or Newt being considered a serious contender as the Republican candidate Obama is going to steamroller?

WriteyWriterton May 12, 2011 at 2:07 pm

And, of course, death is not an option.

smitallica May 12, 2011 at 11:15 am

Look, I didn't love "Smokin' Aces," but certainly not because of Common's performance. Let the man speak!

Geminisunmars May 12, 2011 at 11:17 am

Aren't Newt and Calista the most anti-Obama of all the potential Repoob candidates? I mean, have you ever seen a whiter couple? Literally whiter?

smitallica May 12, 2011 at 11:18 am

I would actually prefer our children be taught that it feels good to have sex, which is true, than that an invisible man in the sky watches them do it, which is not.

Geminisunmars May 12, 2011 at 11:23 am

Well, that's the end of my fantasy life.

rubyslippers May 12, 2011 at 12:56 pm

Far less creepy, too.

glamourdammerung May 12, 2011 at 11:20 am

Also, John Demjanjuk got five years prison for murdering 28,000 people.

GOPCrusher May 12, 2011 at 1:33 pm

Finally?

undeterredbyreality May 12, 2011 at 11:30 am

It's too easy because it would require actual work–like research, thinking, etc.–to find something real to get upset about. Easy because all you have to do, really, is pick up the dog whistle and blow it.

Ducksworthy May 12, 2011 at 11:32 am

The thought of Gnut Gingerich "releasing" anything disgusts me.

Redhead May 12, 2011 at 11:38 am

"Yes, why hasn’t Obama tamped down inciting killing a former president?"

Because he's too busy taking out Bin Laden since Bush failed to do so in seven years and protecting himself against his own 0394857349875394857349873490854 daily death threats from racist loons who listen to Palin and Beck like they're prophets? Just a thought.

GOPCrusher May 12, 2011 at 1:37 pm

Hate groups topped 1,000 for the first time since the Southern Poverty Law Center began counting such groups in the 1980s. Anti-immigrant vigilante groups, despite having some of the political wind taken out of their sails by the adoption of hard-line anti-immigration laws around the country, continued to rise slowly. But by far the most dramatic growth came in the antigovernment “Patriot” movement — conspiracy-minded organizations that see the federal government as their primary enemy — which gained more than 300 new groups, a jump of over 60%.

Taken together, these three strands of the radical right — the hatemongers, the nativists and the antigovernment zealots — increased from 1,753 groups in 2009 to 2,145 in 2010, a 22% rise. That followed a 2008-2009 increase of 40%.

What may be most remarkable is that this growth of right-wing extremism came even as politicians around the country, blown by gusts from the Tea Parties and other conservative formations, tacked hard to the right, co-opting many of the issues important to extremists. Last April, for instance, Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer signed S.B. 1070, the harshest anti-immigrant law in memory, setting off a tsunami of proposals for similar laws across the country. Continuing growth of the radical right could be curtailed as a result of this shift, especially since Republicans, many of them highly conservative, recaptured the U.S. House last fall.
http://splcenter.org/get-informed/intelligence-re

joobajooba May 12, 2011 at 11:51 am

That survey's old. And it referred to college kids' plans in May of 2010, to go home after graduation and look for work. Well, duh. Didn't say how long they stayed there.

And isn't Sarah looking a little jowly in that pic? Time for a little jaw reconstruction maybe?

owhatever May 12, 2011 at 11:55 am

Lou Sarah has lost her MILFness, as well as her mind.

sportshort May 12, 2011 at 11:58 am

Sarah be dissing/her brain cells be missing/ the white hoi poloi/ their asses she kissing/ she whiter than bleach on bleach/ with nothing to teach/ cept freedom of speech/ hey y'all peace, be in reach

WABishop May 12, 2011 at 12:00 pm

I'd love to see Newton spend even 15 minutes telling the truth. I'd pay to see that. It'll never happen, though.

proudgrampa May 12, 2011 at 12:01 pm

Newt Gingrich = Dick

Sarah Palin = Cunt

End of Story.

BobSalem May 12, 2011 at 12:31 pm

No, the story continues,

proudgrampa = asshole and dick

wanketters = lowlife pukes

What do you call a hundred wanketters at the bottom of the ocean? A good start to eradicating the infestation known as libtard pukes!

Chet Kincaid May 12, 2011 at 12:53 pm

See, if you'd had Obamacare, they could have caught the syphilis before it got this far.

ChessieNefercat May 12, 2011 at 1:47 pm

Goodness gracious, you're a nasty, hateful bitter old man. Hopefully it's because you realize that you and you alone are the cause of your misery-filled life. Your hate-filled racist bile just oozes through the screen.

Also:
1) What did proudgrampa ever do to you? Oh wait, you're just hateful and nasty. 2) Try to be original or at least witty if you want to comment on Wonkette; the bottom of the ocean joke is older than dirt.
3) We're not "wanketters", we're Wonketters, or maybe Wonketeers. Learn to spell. If it was supposed to be some clever play on "wanker", it failed.
4) Keep right on telling yourself how everyone hates President Obama. It'll make it that much easier for him to wipe the floor with constitution-hating, unpatriotic assholes such as yourself.

proudgrampa May 12, 2011 at 2:00 pm

Wow. Someone has "issues."

Bob, I wish you well.

BobSalem May 12, 2011 at 2:14 pm

I dont, I wish the worst for all assholes like you!

Gleem_McShineys May 12, 2011 at 3:00 pm

Well, that certainly is a nice sentiment, Bob.

Enjoy your lovely cromagnon lifestyle, dinosaurman! I can't wait until your stuffed body is eventually erected in a museum, displaying the amazing oddities of the conservaturd era for children to gawp at.

Though I do believe in accuracy, hopefully standards of taste will prevent them creating a display of you masturbating into your own mouth. Children don't need to see that.

Gopherit May 12, 2011 at 6:25 pm

I hope you talk shit to the wrong person and have your jaw broken. I hope you develop a raging case of ass-herpes from using your mom's dildo. I hope the fryer burps at burger king on your next shift, but they deny you workman's comp because everyone HATES YOU.

WriteyWriterton May 12, 2011 at 2:11 pm

Hi, BobSalem. I hope you enjoy your visit here. Helpful hint: get better writers. Your material is, well, marginal. At best.

Sincerely
WW
Puking Libtard since forevah

Gopherit May 12, 2011 at 6:21 pm

OOO! I have one! Why does BobSalem wear ties? To keep the foreskin from creeping up around his ears!

mumbly_joe May 12, 2011 at 6:56 pm

Well, you misspelt wonketters, but you definitely have me pegged, if nothing else. Yep! I'm a lowlife puke. A lowlife puke who spends 12 hours a day working with cancer patients, and six of the remaining hours tutoring children.

Only… if we're lowlife pukes, and "BobSalem" is some entity who waves around a graphic image of a major tragedy that affected countless people far more than himself, all the way out in "real America" with no friends or family members who lived and worked in lower Manhattan, and who can't go a single round of verbal sparring with his intellectual betters before resorting to death threats… what does that make a "BobSalem"?

trampndirtdown May 12, 2011 at 9:39 pm

Good for you MJ.

DahBoner May 12, 2011 at 12:05 pm

How do you say "Spit, don't swallow, President Jimmy" in Hip-hop?

Chet Kincaid May 12, 2011 at 12:07 pm

Frijoles Negros on Moose Taco Night?

ttommyunger May 12, 2011 at 12:08 pm

You don't fool this old man, Sarah; you've got a craving flung on you for a taste of the dark meat. I can tell by watching you. Your cavernous nether-regions are as hot and wet as the jacuzzi at my local YMCA (and as germ-free, I'm sure). You've got a really severe case of Jungle Fever! Don't be embarrassed; it happens to over-the-hill white women all the time. Go for it! Todd won't mind, I promise you; he'll be grateful for a little respite, and you can be sure I don't give a shit. Obama prolly won't fuck you but Vernon Jordan will. Hell, he'd fuck a Rattlesnake if someone would hold its head and he's even blacker than Barry. Relax, live a little, tick, tick, tick….

BZ1 May 12, 2011 at 12:13 pm

the opening refrain of your great American novel?!

ttommyunger May 12, 2011 at 3:06 pm

Interesting….

BZ1 May 12, 2011 at 12:15 pm

The Newt is so '90s (1890s, 1790s…)

Swampgas_Man May 12, 2011 at 12:39 pm

He hangs around Redstate and NotsoBreitbart, wearing his pee like a badge of honor.

fuflans May 12, 2011 at 1:11 pm

oh so very well said.

fuflans May 12, 2011 at 1:19 pm

seriously, she looks terrible. did somebody stab the picture in her closet or something?

yyyaz May 12, 2011 at 1:21 pm

Or, alternatively, to hook this vile species of slimy, extra-ugly bigmouth bass, all you have to do is bait the hook with dough and she'll take it every time.

__kth__ May 12, 2011 at 1:29 pm

White people, a little sick when it comes to the raps. I can't stand prog, but when Emerson Lake & Palmer comes on, I just change the station. But they can't just change the station.

NorthStarSpanx May 12, 2011 at 5:24 pm

Country Music, exclusive only to the Republican Party and the only creative outlet they have – sure is short on the family values verbiage. From what I can stand to listen to, it's all about celebrating infidelity, payback, living paycheck-to-paycheck, catfights, domestic abuse, baby-mama/daddy confusion and betrayal.

Common is a threat?

GOPCrusher May 12, 2011 at 1:42 pm

It's only a matter of time before Bible Spice states that the Republiklans should be targeting the Obama Administration in 2012.

emmelemm May 12, 2011 at 1:52 pm

The real question here is, why do you have a conservative friend?

chascates May 12, 2011 at 1:56 pm

Judging by that photo Sarah should follow Bristol's lead and get a 'medically necessary' procedure to reduce her second chin.

BobSalem May 12, 2011 at 2:13 pm

Wow…..time to change you diaper?

Gopherit May 12, 2011 at 6:23 pm

you picked the right day, Bob. You are one of the most pathetic closet cased morons to ever pretend to troll here. You are a hydrocephalic twat who is easily outwitted by pull top aluminum cans. If you were on fire, I wouldn't throw your mom's chaw bucket on you to put you out. Go fuck yourself, Bob.

BobSalem May 12, 2011 at 2:59 pm

yawn…yawn…yawn…Have you noticed that all the pukes on this site call everyone and anyone that doesn’t share the same liberal views a racist, homophobe or bigot? Most of you pukes are nothing but assholes hiding behind insults and calling all others names to hide who you assholes really are. And make no doubt, America knows that you lowlifes are a bunch of scum bags, evil, pathetic, lying losers that troll on America. Even the so-called journalists and attorneys here are nothing but vile scum bags.

SorosBot May 12, 2011 at 3:08 pm

No, we only call racists racist. You just spouted the incredibly "black people are the real racists!" meme, and used the racist phrasing "the blacks". Read your comment again – it was incredibly racist, that's why we're you out for your racism.

BobSalem May 12, 2011 at 3:16 pm

The truth isn’t a racist comment asswipe. You are incredibly racist and hide behind your racism by calling everyone else one. My step dad, who is black, will readily admit that way too many families are raising their kids to hate white people only due to their skin color. But of course in your world only white people that are conservatives are racists and only white people can be racist. So in the end we know that you and your wankettes are nothing but a bunch of scum bags, evil, pathetic, lying losers that troll on America. Even the so-called journalists and attorneys here are nothing but vile scum bags.

Gainsbourg69 May 12, 2011 at 3:49 pm

Why would you invent a black stepfather for yourself just to win an argument when even the old "I've got friends who are black" would've sufficed?

BobSalem May 12, 2011 at 3:59 pm

Why did your mother have you when the mailman would have been happy with a blowjob?

glamourdammerung May 12, 2011 at 4:10 pm

The problem is that I already proved you are a liar a few weeks back with your claim that Andrew Breitbart put out the unedited ACORN "sting videos" and they were all over the internet.

So you can call people names all you like, but the fact is you are a liar and we both know it.

ChessieNefercat May 12, 2011 at 4:38 pm

"Most of you pukes are nothing but assholes hiding behind insults and calling all others names to hide who you assholes really are. And make no doubt, America knows that you lowlifes are a bunch of scum bags, evil, pathetic, lying losers that troll on America. Even the so-called journalists and attorneys here are nothing but vile scum bags. "

Pot, meet kettle. Self-introspection not your thing?

Seriously, Bob, you are one angry, angry, bitter racist. Being here just seems to make you angrier. Try not to pop a blood vessel typing out your foaming-at-the-mouth screeds.

Gleem_McShineys May 12, 2011 at 5:10 pm

Walk on past the part of my post that showed — WITH YOUR OWN LINK — that you were mistaken. Lo and behold! A confused conservatard doesn't comprehend!?! Color me shocked.

Shorter: Dude, Snopes doesn't say what you think it says.

Maybe you think you can shout enough about the "bigotry" part of my comment, to completely erase the fact that your own link says you're cherry-picking quotes out of context, or making them up out of nowhere. SHOUT! LOUDER! IT! IS! OUTRAGE!

But sure, Bob, why don't we make a deal?

I'll call my own self a scumbag lowlife… as soon as you ask your black stepdad what he thinks of people who cherry-pick Obama's quotes out of context, or make them up, in order to rile up racists, magically allowing the racists to justify their own racism.

Ask him that, and be sure to point out who was doing that.
Big Unmistakeable (even to a Conservatard) Hint: IT IS YOU.

Gopherit May 12, 2011 at 3:36 pm

Palin preemptively shot back against her critics, saying she is a proponent of free speech and is not "anti-rap."

"Like [Fox News anchor] Brett Baier, I know the lyrics of 'Rappers Delight too.'"
http://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/

Bitch is jiggy wit it.

NorthStarSpanx May 12, 2011 at 5:26 pm

Sarah's always been about being a MILF and showing her kids friends how down-with-it she is, saying things like "Shout-out," "Awesome," and "H8r," thought she was so cool, nodding her head like, "yeah," during Amy Poehler's rap on SNL.

DREGstudios May 12, 2011 at 3:40 pm

Palin and FOX only say what they think their audience wants to hear as far as Neocon propaganda. This imprudent commentary has caused damage to the world view of America including critical comments such as this which expose not only racism and bigotry but the obtuse world-view of the people this kind of rhetoric seems fit to represent. I was compelled to create a visual commentary about this very thing on my artist’s blog at http://dregstudiosart.blogspot.com/2011/01/sarah-

trampndirtdown May 12, 2011 at 9:45 pm

Don't blogwhore.

glamourdammerung May 12, 2011 at 4:08 pm

Replying to me is not ignoring me.

Still waiting for you to be able to back up your mouth, coward.

horsedreamer_1 May 12, 2011 at 4:23 pm

Show us the matriculant certificate!

Gleem_McShineys May 12, 2011 at 4:45 pm

Nope Bob, I didn't defend any of them. You might not be able to understand this (!) but I was just being critical of your simple use of a placeholder like BYRD to represent every Democrat — as if that guy stood for anything other than who he is. Or WAS. He's dead now. You knew that, right?

But hey, you're into that broad-brushin' thing, then? So, I have to ask — how many diaper-whores do you visit, Mr. Vitter Junior? (in case you don't get it, I'm automatically equating YOU with a bad example from your party, which is exactly what YOU did with Byrd. See how it works? Of course you don't. You're welcome!)

MadBrahms May 12, 2011 at 4:55 pm

Word choice: "change", not progress. Changing the country into a messy heap of poor, sick bodies – still change! Foolproof campaign promise.

lulzmonger May 12, 2011 at 4:58 pm

"It's too easy … because Bristol got me this AWESOME "Mad Libs 4 Wingnuts" booklet, & now my speeches for the next five years are already written! METH BINGE, HERE I COME!"

NorthStarSpanx May 12, 2011 at 5:15 pm

But since Elmo is from Public Television, he is too, also evil. Koch needs to own his ass!

Gopherit May 12, 2011 at 6:30 pm

You are fucking liar bob. Just like your promise to post all of Obama's lies. Pussy. so scared of brown people. I am sorry your mom whores herself out but that's not our problem.

PristineODummy May 13, 2011 at 12:36 am

Can't we stuff them in her burnt bush instead? An offering of sorts?

PristineODummy May 13, 2011 at 12:39 am

The sight of that fine lady running in any direction would, uh, yes, well … BRB.

Negropolis May 13, 2011 at 2:01 am

This bitch deserves a black grandbaby **this** much.

Gleem_McShineys May 12, 2011 at 2:11 pm

Don't you know, as a wingtard, you can just shout out your magical talisman words, like "ROBERTBYRD!" or "CHAPPAQUIDICK!" and it magically erases any points made by anyone arguing against you, year after year, even when situations, or centuries change.

It's a wonderful time to be a parrot! Breitbart has crackers!

BobSalem May 12, 2011 at 2:11 pm

Why do libtards lie over and over to the point that they believe their own rubbish? You are a programmed idiot counselor. The real question is in the year 2011, why are YOU such a racist puke?

tessiee May 12, 2011 at 2:24 pm

Or at the very least, give Thomas Kincaid a few sleepless nights.

BobSalem May 12, 2011 at 2:28 pm

It is good that you are such a progressive asswipe. Did you really pass the bar or did you stop for a drink at everyone of them?

whit -noun

Definition: smallest amount: the smallest imaginable degree or amount.

I don't care a whit whether they succeed or fail.

mumbly_joe May 12, 2011 at 4:21 pm

Well, that's really the thing. Byrd repudiated his past involvement with the Klan, and spent roughly 50 years working to make up for it.

Meanwhile, Trent Lott said, in 2002, that if we'd elected Mr. "Segregation Forever" -himself a had been elected President, "we wouldn't have had half the problems we have over the years". Oh, and then went on to be re-elected. But, no, it's clearly Democrats, and more specifically, the Left, that has the race problem, right?

Byrd renounced his earlier association with the Klan. Did Strom Thurmond ever renounce his multiple campaigns to perpetuate segregation? No. No he did not.

glamourdammerung May 12, 2011 at 4:28 pm

But according to teabaggers, you are the real racist for pointing out that Strom Thurmond was a racist for running as a pro-segregation candidate president and being unrepentant for such acts.

And the teabagger crowd wonders why the public likes them less the more they know about them.

Gopherit May 12, 2011 at 6:25 pm

He actually kisses his mom with that mouth…..and other things.

Gopherit May 12, 2011 at 6:31 pm

FULL OF LOVE, GODDAMN IT! I DON'T HATE!! NOT EVEN THE GUYS WHO KEEP VIOLATING MOM! THAT'S MY JOB!!!

Gopherit May 12, 2011 at 6:33 pm

You, your mom, oral, anal and talk of being a bastard…..also mentioning a counselor. Man, your story just sounds rancid.

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