Like everything this kid does, this will end up being a boring disappointment. (EXCEPT FOR THE MIRACLE OF LIFE/REALITY SHOWS/PRO-LIFE MONEY HE [GOD] GAVE BRISTOL. THANK YOU, SPERM! EXCEPT DON’T THANK YOU, BECAUSE ABSTINENCE.) But this is slightly amusing. [Amazon]
Political Wire
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Rebecca Schoenkopf (424)
Kirsten Boyd Johnson (927)
Sulagna Misra (4)
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{ 109 comments }
that's exactly the look i imagined him to have when i had my way with him
I swear to God, I just walked in the door from the airport. I had to stop to get the new Palin book and Border's was OUT. I ran over to Barnes & Noble and I got the LAST one! Huzzah!
Welcome back!
Thank you, I missed you.
The name of the book I just picked up is:
The Lies of Sarah Palin: The Untold Story Behind Her Relentless Quest for Power
Geoffrey Dunne
Oh that one doesn't sound nearly as shitty as the others with her name on them. But, it does assume there's any sort of "story" to her inane public mouth masturbation, so I gotta say my jury is out. Please submit your book report later.
I guess you think you can just abandon us for days at a time. Well!
I will never leave you again, promise. As a matter of fact, I am just going to move in with you, eat up all your salty snack foods and mess up your rumpus room.
Mmmm…Cheetos. Ruffles. Fritos. Lays Original. The Frito-Lay Corporation has our number.
Who'll bring the Pork Rinds?
I hope you stayed away from the craps tables, unless you bet against the shooter.
I never play craps. I'm not that lucky of a person to pull something like that off. I'm married to a man who is a Corporate Business Executive in the casino business and he steers me away from things that could cause us not to be able to squander money on food and fuel and things we really need.
Ah. So I take he doesn't deal with Trump's casinos, then.
No, he works for a wonderful Native American company. From the financial reports I've read, no one deals with or in Trump's casinos.
Where have you been? I missed you and your barbed(!) wit.
I missed you Lizzie! I'm home from 3 days in Vegas.
Thank God for that, I thought you might have started going to Red State.
So, in a post Bin Laden world, terrorists run out of an airplane to the nearest Barns and Noble to "buy" Sara Palin books?
… well I am depressed.
I like the use of the surveyors mark.
Needs more bullet holes.
Why does Nanookie of the North look like he's being sodomized on the cover?
Maybe the back cover is a clever shot from behind and it reveals caribou antlers in his butt?
Ouch, and we all know how painful that can be!
Speak for yourself, lady!
Or his almost-mother-in-law wearing a strap on?
Because he is?
(Jon Lovitz voice.) "It's called ACTING!!!!"
Deer in the Headlights. Foreword by Dan Quayle. (that guy had the look down perfect)
Perfectoe?
In the words of the wonkeratti: Never Forget! (The stupid things the Republics say)
Or Bush II
His son, the fancy schmantzy Congressman, had a great teacher.
With a poignant epilogue by Congressman (I still can't believe it) Ben Quayle.
Should be shot from above, as from a helicopter.
Is that what an Alaskan O-face looks like?
He's just lucky he didn't get on Sarah's bad side until after she quit and could no longer abuse her power to harass her personal enemies like her ex-brother-in-law.
The antlers at the top are a nice, literal touch. They do have to consider the potential audience.
There's a troubling lack of headlights, though.
Much like a Meghan McCain PSA.
I will develop some respect for him if he realizes that titles mocks him.
Is Breibart wearing a deer costume and standing right behind him?
Does it have picshures of him all nekkid and stuff in it?
I don't care, just asking for tiny weenie downfister. He's too shy to ask.
High school dropout wrote a book? Betcha that's gonna have some compelling narrative. On the other hand, where else but America? What a great nation!
As told to the guys at the local bar/knocking shop.
How Twin-Peaks-evocative. I always wondered what "secrets" Sheriff Truman alluded were ensconced in the trees. Now I know.
Qu'est-ce que c'est?
"…tail…nuts…" Hmmm…..Tail Nuts ™!
You hanging the TailNutz off the back of your jeans?
You could, yes. I'm good with that.
That's the "Mrs Palin, you are trying to seduce me!" look if ever there was one.
Well, we know he didn't take the father's advice….plastics.
Plastics, maybe. But prophylactics? Definitely not.
Not that anyone in Sarah Palin's Alaska Public Schools would have known to include those in sex education lectures.
Since there probably is a shortage of wimmens in Alaska, why bother?
Careful! He's a redneck, you know, you look at him wrong, he'll kick your ass.
Uh… yeah.
He looks like a frightened jackalope, but at least his chin is a normal size still.
The antlers are a symbolic representation of the hornies.
Is this the new buttsecks bible?
At least someone up there has a sense of humor, which is rarer in Wasila than a full set of teeth…
Moar Levi. I was getting tired of the stuff that doesn't matter, like Bin Laden and the economic crisis. Can we get Levi back with Bristol somehow? God, this is so stressful. I want my America back. The one with Sarah, and Todd and Levi and Bristol and Tripp and Track, and Trigg and Trick. Moar Palins. Moar Real America.
Wow, 37 comments in, and no fapping? Well, don't mind if I do…
FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP.
No one wanted to steal your, uh, thunder, Elvis.
Should have title it "Why Didn't I Just Pull Out?"
I can't remember if Grifting By Association is a Class A or Class B Felony.
Class B, but, at sentencing, you can introduce aggravating and mitigating factors. And by "aggravating," I mean "even one more word about any of the Palins."
I think that charge may be too much. I think this is "Attempted Grifting", because to be fullblown grifting, people would actually have to be buying his shit.
I want to look at the contact sheets to see which ones made him look stupid (er).
Bacon, he is probably stupid enough to capture "stupid" on the first take.
He's a natural idiot.
Remember, he's doing this for his son AND for the country. Specifically the part of the country that wields credit cards.
I am torn. I'd buy it just to stick it to a Palin.
Compromise and borrow it from the library.
The downfister gave you a thumbs down for mentioning library. Nothing is at all sacred for these people, is it?
Even Glenn Beck said he got his vast knowledge for "absolutely free. . .At the library."
The FREE MARKET Library. Duh!
You mean, Real Americans.
The sequel will be Mercede's Bends: Why I Should've Kept Fucking My Sister.
I know he's tainted and all, but I just can't hate this kid. He seems to be in on his own joke. I would rather cash in like this than do time in an oil field too, and honestly, if someone can make a buck off of trashing Sarah P well, I'm a scumbag I guess, but I'm really fine with that (being a scumbag AND the money making trash talking).
Remember when the Grifter was still running for Veep and she proudly announced he was stepping up to his responsibility. By dropping out of school and working on the pipeline.
I live amongst White Trash. I know White Trash. And you, Palins, are White Trash.
I bet ya after all this talking to the lame stream types Todd and Trak are going to have him squealing like a pig for them.
Trak? I thought Bristol gave the kid a real Alaska name, like Bristol for Bristol Bay. Wasn't the kid named Mt McKinley?
Reality TV show coming in 3, 2, 1…
Seein' as how he's on the outs with Mommy Grizzly, he may have a chance in life. I'm pulling for him, although from what I've heard from him he doesn't strike me as one of the sharpest knives in the drawer, any drawer.
His sharpest knife is probably in his drawers.
So he's got that going for him, which is nice…
His sorta-ex gets a face lift and a new "reality show" and 30 large a gig for telling people not to fuck like she did, and he gets a book deal. If it wasn't for the utter loss of any reason for self respect, I'd call them lucky.
Better lucky than good.
Better lucky than intelligent.
Better lucky than tasteful.
Better lucky than modest.
Better lucky than virtuous.
Better lucky than…oh, forget it.
If showed up to bang Brisdull now, he wouldn't recognize her, the tits and chin are gone.
I guess "Milking It for More Than Its Worth: My Life in the Pubic Hairs of the Daughter of a Failed VP Candidate" was the second choice for the book's title.
You know what they say about strange bedfellows.
You gave me crabs?
Isn't "headlights" a slang term for female breasts?
I was imagining "Cock that Wasn't Blocked".
I gave you a thumbs up to counter the downfister troll. Who the fuck tells those morons to bother the wonkeratti? Is their goal to fuck our pees so badly that we all abandon ship? Dream on, you dickwad nitwits.
To Pee or not to Pee, ….
Poor Levi. So close to the Palins. So far from God.
You lie down with dogs, you wake up with book covers.
Have to do the honorable thing and stand up for Barb here to say there's no chance of that. She's blue through and through.
There would have been a shudder in The Force, surely.
Your move Andrew Sullivan Face Of The Day.
Why, oh why, is this not a coloring book? Our favorite Junior-Snowgrifter-in-Training has disappointed me, again.
The stoopid is strong with this one.
In retrospect, I am sure that this expose will be a dignified, and tactful discourse… as if…
Moose Punch, actually.
Alternate title: 18 Year Major for Putting It in the Five-hole.
I'm an educated woman. I read smart books. And yet, against my better judgment, something about this intrigues me….
looks like he probably looked when Sarah walked in during the fuckin'.
You know what happened to the last person who was in Palin's crosshairs? She got to play with an iPad. After she was in a coma, of course.
V and I talked privately, and until Frito-Lay comes out w/pork rinds that don’t smell like essence of dumpster slime, we’re not having any. We do have standards, you know.
Do you get away from the casinos when you travel with him? Fry bread….mmmmmmmm……just sayin'
And no re-hiring of Jack Abramoff to lobby for them?
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