• May 26, 2012

Pro-America Front Yard Sign Next To Mosque: ‘Bomb Making Next Driveway’

by Jack Stuef  

Muslim leaders are upset that a homeowner who lives next door to a newly opened mosque has posted a sign on his front lawn that reads “Bomb Making Next Driveway.”

Are they upset that the front yard didn’t specify what kind of bombs they’re making? Stop being so vain, Muslims! Your Sharia bombs will kill us all, no matter what the exact schematics are. This patriot front yard was merely letting people know what all one billion Muslims do in their spare time. [AP]

{ 85 comments }

ablington May 11, 2011 at 2:26 pm

Adorbs. I may "drop a bomb" in that guy's driveway, if you know what I mean. If you don't know what I mean, I mean to defecate on it. Let's be clear.

jaytingle May 12, 2011 at 7:44 am

What does defecate mean?

ablington May 12, 2011 at 11:20 am

You know how after you eat at Appleby's all that watery brown stuff shoots out of your nether-hole? That's defecation.

jaytingle May 12, 2011 at 12:07 pm

Appleby's? What am I, David Brooks?

Gratuitous World May 11, 2011 at 2:26 pm

Relax, McCain. Your lawn is not a target.

ManchuCandidate May 11, 2011 at 2:30 pm

His excuse later… "Um, it was joke… er that's US American for Get Off My Lawn."

Rosie_Scenario May 11, 2011 at 2:50 pm

"I apologize if my comments have offended anyone."

poncho_pilot May 11, 2011 at 3:01 pm

"ask anyone who knows me. i'm the least anti-muslim guy there is. i say that at least five times a day."

Boredw/Gravitas May 11, 2011 at 3:07 pm

Some of his bestest friends are muslins.

PsycWench May 11, 2011 at 3:45 pm

I let a muslim guy use my bathroom once. He didn't even have to shout Allah Akbar.

Negropolis May 12, 2011 at 4:57 am

…i say that at least five times a day…

"…whilst turned towards Mecca, even."

nounverb911 May 11, 2011 at 2:31 pm

Is the mosque next to the studio that made "Atlas Shrugged Bombed"?

carlgt1 May 11, 2011 at 3:05 pm

"Atlas Shrugged" bombed alright!

Steverino247 May 11, 2011 at 2:32 pm

If this guy had lived in Northern Ireland not so long ago, he could have posted that sign on both sides of his house.

And yes, I'm tired of violence in the name of imaginary friends and psychotic delusions.

CapeClod May 11, 2011 at 2:33 pm

He chose to post this sign only because he didn't know how to spell Muslim.

freakishlywrong May 11, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Sign in mosque driveway: "Ignorant bigot next driveway".

walstib May 11, 2011 at 2:34 pm

New sign for the Mosque:

<—– ASSHOLE TEABAGGER OVER THERE

chascates May 11, 2011 at 2:34 pm

'Hypocrisy Next Door' sign beside any American church.

BaldarTFlagass May 11, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Fucking Pastor Terry Jones will do anything to keep his name in the news, apparently.

GuanoFaucet May 11, 2011 at 2:36 pm

The Mosque should respond by posting a sign that says:

"Sister-fucking cretin next driveway."

DaRooster May 11, 2011 at 2:36 pm

“Bomb Making Next Driveway.”

"Paranoid Redneck This Driveway"

SayItWithWookies May 11, 2011 at 2:36 pm

The mosque should put up a sign in Arabic with an arrow pointing to that dude's place. It could say "Have a nice day," for all it matters, but it'll scare the shit out of him.

DaRooster May 11, 2011 at 2:39 pm

How about "Jesus Loves This Guy"?

Rotundo_ May 11, 2011 at 6:20 pm

Perfect Idea! They could write something like "We forgive you for being an idiot" with a translation in a really really really small font just below

x111e7thst May 11, 2011 at 2:37 pm

We must make much better bombs than the Muslins. We have killed so many more of them. For Freedumb.

Grief_Lessons May 11, 2011 at 2:37 pm

He's the all-American bullet-headed Saxon mother's son!

Weenus299 May 11, 2011 at 3:22 pm

That's what all the children sing.

baconzgood May 11, 2011 at 2:37 pm

“Bomb Making Next Driveway. Douche baggery in this one"

(FIXED)

Gopherit May 11, 2011 at 2:58 pm

actually, it wouldn't surprise me if there was bomb making going on in his basement…..but then I am from AZ and assume that's true of about half of my neighbors.

Monsieur_Grumpe May 11, 2011 at 2:39 pm

Just to make it extra offensive he hung the sign from his black lawn jockey.

MissTaken May 11, 2011 at 2:40 pm

Gawd, you are all so politically correct! This guy is just being helpful to his neighbors and letting them know where all the important stuff takes place: meth lab – 4 houses down, hookers – on the corner, masterbating teenagers – when the hot cougar 2 houses down sunbathes in the nude, bombmaking – next driveway.

Neighborly!

CliveWarren May 11, 2011 at 2:43 pm

It could be "Bomb! Making next driveway." as in this shit is Da Bomb, I'm totally going to make the next driveway.

Or maybe "Bomb making next… Driveway." which would mean this man is threatening the driveway by hinting he is going to start manufacturing incendiary devices if the driveway doesn't get its act together and stop bothering the poor man. If this is the case, this man might be a terrorist…

Beowoof May 11, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Chicken wing eating, Budweiser drinking loser without a job would be the sign directing people to the teatards house.

CessnaDriver May 11, 2011 at 4:07 pm

More like chicken nuggets from Wal-Mart and Old Milwaukee.

horsedreamer_1 May 11, 2011 at 4:12 pm

Finish it off with "cakes we like".

undeterredbyreality May 11, 2011 at 2:55 pm

See, I initially read it as "Bomb (subject) making (verb) next driveway (object)." So I wondered if he meant he's using a bomb to make his next driveway, which seems a bit silly, but might be easier than using a jackhammer to take out the old one, I suppose, so long as you know what you're doing.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 11, 2011 at 6:32 pm

Should've been "Bum making next driveway," but he cain't spel too good.

Schmannnity May 11, 2011 at 2:43 pm

With apologies to State Farm, Like a good neighbor, Teatard is there.

WriteyWriterton May 11, 2011 at 4:00 pm

Never apologize to an insurance company. NEVER. For anything.

WriteyWriterton May 11, 2011 at 4:03 pm

Paragraph 7. [Insert name of insurance company] may increase policy-holder's premium for any apology, because, you know, policy-holder might have, like, done something?

BarackMyWorld May 11, 2011 at 2:44 pm

Why does he think they'd be making bombs in their driveway? Makes no sense!

Beowoof May 11, 2011 at 2:52 pm

This is from the home town of Carl Paladino, former gubenatorial candidate a proponent of the plan to put the black welfare folks in unused jail space to teach them how to wash their ass. And this type of shit is a surprise how?

poncho_pilot May 11, 2011 at 2:52 pm

just add Jäger before bomb. party at the mosque.

axmxz May 11, 2011 at 2:53 pm

If I were in charge of the mosque, I'd put up a parabolic reflector and make the calls to prayer sound the loudest in the redneck's bedroom.

Bonzos_Bed_Time May 11, 2011 at 2:57 pm

You sure he didn't live next to these guys???

metamarcisf May 11, 2011 at 3:02 pm

Anyone with the nerve to build a mosque less than 435 miles from Ground Zero deserves this kind of shit.

fuflans May 11, 2011 at 3:21 pm

dude, the sign should read "half breed muslin".

jeez. how hard is it to keep up with best slurs??

obfuscator2 May 11, 2011 at 3:22 pm

"meth making: this driveway"

Weenus299 May 11, 2011 at 3:23 pm

As it says in the bible, "Accuse thy neighbor of constructing ordnance in his dryveway."

JustPixelz May 11, 2011 at 3:38 pm

Why is this guy doing free advertising? He should make the next Timothy McVeigh get a bomb without any help.

Callyson May 11, 2011 at 3:38 pm

Actually, he just confused the mosque with the studio that produced "Waterworld."

Tommmcattt May 11, 2011 at 4:16 pm

Oh my god, you remember "Waterworld".

You are an old, like me.

GOPCrusher May 11, 2011 at 4:49 pm

Really bad movies tend to stick with you. Like eating tuna fish and grapefruit for breakfast.

Arken May 11, 2011 at 3:42 pm

You left out the best (worst?) part. He actually defended himself by saying he didn't say which driveway.

mull_man May 11, 2011 at 3:45 pm

If you live in proximity to this fine fellow, consider

1. coating his driveway with ammonia triiodide
2. spelling "I love molesting little boys" in rock salt on his front lawn, followed up w/ an anonymous gift membership to NABLA
3. placing a live cat in his mail box (after the postal carrier, obviously)

Ashamedly, I know each of these to be quite effective.

Rotundo_ May 11, 2011 at 6:15 pm

Strike the cat thing, a cat doesn't deserve that sort of thing. Scorpions, perhaps as an alternative. Brown Recluse? Black Widow?

Biel_ze_Bubba May 11, 2011 at 6:35 pm

Cats in boxes tend to get all quantumy… you never know if they're alive or dead.

glamourdammerung May 11, 2011 at 3:49 pm

I would do the same thing at a fundraiser for Peter King (R – Foreign Terrorists).

horsedreamer_1 May 11, 2011 at 3:53 pm

Vincent Gallo is really not even trying to shock, anymore.

GOPCrusher May 11, 2011 at 3:57 pm

We are some of the bestest bomb makers in the world.
USA! USA! USA!

GOPCrusher May 11, 2011 at 3:58 pm

Let me one of the first to apologize to this asshole for jumping to that conclusion.

Weenus299 May 11, 2011 at 4:02 pm

Muslins making driveway bombs, not allowed. White unemployed people hoarding weapons, OK.

The things these homeowners associations permit these days.

WriteyWriterton May 11, 2011 at 4:04 pm

Stoopid goes in, stoopid goes out.

Not_So_Much May 11, 2011 at 4:26 pm

I feel like dropping at least one, girthy F Bomb a day keeps me right. Well, that and a deuce…

TsunamiAli May 11, 2011 at 4:28 pm

pics or it didn't happen.

Redhead May 11, 2011 at 4:31 pm

Either it read, "bom maken nextt driverweigh" or the guy hired someone to make it for him. (SkoalRebel has to get funding for all his skoal somewhere…)

DahBoner May 11, 2011 at 4:54 pm

After watching this week's FrontLine piece on Afghanistan, it appears they have the same problem over there:

How to tell a terrorist from a garden variety uneducated, poor, religious peasant who prefers the bat-shit crazy Taliban over the government.

Basically, the Afghan version of our teabaggers, only with AK-47s…

ghblowhard May 12, 2011 at 9:10 am

I'm pretty sure our tea baggers have AK-47s. It's their constitutional right.

DahBoner May 11, 2011 at 4:59 pm

The light! It is too bright.

Light the candle, curse the glare…

ttommyunger May 11, 2011 at 5:07 pm

Prolly afraid of our GPS Challenged ATF; famous for raiding the wrong fucking address time and time again.

ArmoredBore May 11, 2011 at 5:34 pm

The worst part is that this crap is probably protected by the First Amendment. Reminding me once again that Free Speech doesn't necessarily mean Good Speech.

SystemError May 11, 2011 at 5:39 pm

The mosque guys need to go grab this sign:
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b377/stlsaxman/...

FakaktaSouth May 11, 2011 at 6:23 pm

Best thing I can say is, yay, this didn't happen here (and we do have Muslims, and they even walk around being Muslim and shit. We got Mennonites too, and many, many other types of deluded "don't wanna be just dead when they're dead folks" but I digress). Besides just the awfulness of the story though – why is the title of the linked article "Muslim Leaders Upset…" and not "Entire Town Embarrassed by…" or "People Who Can Read Now Know Some Guy Who Lives Next Door to a Mosque is an Ignorant Twat"?

Hatrabbit May 11, 2011 at 7:00 pm

Pretty impressed he managed to write his 'message' on a sign instead of grunting it into his beer can.

Doktor Zoom May 11, 2011 at 8:31 pm

Haha–I think that whoever lives next to Julie Taymor should put up one of these.

Thedongsofwar May 11, 2011 at 11:10 pm

You dropped a bomb on me, baby.

Pres[ $ rm -r * ] May 11, 2011 at 11:33 pm

Just fucking burn a crescent and star on his lawn while you're at it, asswipe neighbor…

MadBrahms May 12, 2011 at 2:51 am

Not illegal, eh? Maybe not *criminal*, but isn't this defamation? Definition per se, even, with no need to prove harm, since it's an allegation of a serious crime (i.e. making bombs).

I'd love to see how Malkin and Gellar would defend *that* one.

Negropolis May 12, 2011 at 5:03 am

I know, right? What if they were to put up "Pedophile Next Driveway"? Honestly, isn't this at least slander and possibly libel since it's written?

jaytingle May 12, 2011 at 7:43 am

I don't see why this is such a problem. I live next to a Catholic church and I have a sign that reads, "Caution: Drunken Irish and/or Hysterical Italians exiting from next driveway." Passing motorists constantly honk their horns in gratitude.

BZ1 May 12, 2011 at 8:47 am

He, he, making paranoid, racist aspersions… what a hoot…

ghblowhard May 12, 2011 at 9:18 am

At least it's not winter. Then he might have just peed that in the snow. Classy.

Dances_For_Ham May 12, 2011 at 5:52 pm

Oh……….I've seen this sign before. It should actually read "Bombed? Next door." It is clearly an invite to sit in on one of those A & A, drinkie, drinkie meetings.

smokefilledroommate May 13, 2011 at 12:35 am

Perhaps the sign was made by super-drunk bomb-making Russians as a joke they knew nobody would get: "Bomb Making Nazdaróvye!"

Ken Cuccinelli May 14, 2011 at 10:29 am

My understanding is that Amherst is for Buffalo that area of all "liberal big cities" where all the Republican assholes go. It is in Chris Lee's old district. And this guy running to replace him.

I swear to god WNY makes the rest of Upstate look like a fucking paradise.

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