Senators were already acting like children by pretending they saw (or, maybe worse, thinking they actually saw) photos of Osama bin Laden’s corpse. But now that the White House has reportedly decided to let a select few members of Congress see them, but not the others, it’s elementary school all over again. Harry Reid is an ex officio member of the Senate intelligence committee, but apparently that doesn’t mean he is allowed to see the photos, while the select members of the committee are, from what we can tell from the rather scant reporting on this. Whatever, who cares, Harry Reid didn’t even want to see your stupid baby Bin Laden photos, so there. “I don’t want to see it,” he said, trying to appear cool before running off to his office to cry.
We’re pretty sure nobody in Congress is going to see these photos, but the peer pressure is going to make them all pretend like they’ve seen them so they’ll seem cool.
“Yeah, I saw the pictures. Wasn’t it gross, you guys? Or did you babies even see it?” Marco Rubio will say.
“It was, I saw it! It looked like Osama fell off the monkey bars and busted his head open! He had wood chips stuck in his blood, I think, just like Bobby Reiner when that happened to him on the playground,” Dick Durbin will say.
“I saw a condo and a lube next to his face,” Saxby Chambliss will say. “That’s what you use when you do sex stuff.”
“There was a lot of sex in that picture. It was awesome,” John Thune will say.
“Did you know when you die your face turns hot pink and poop comes out of your mouth? That’s what his face did,” Chuck Grassley will say.
If anyone hasn’t seen the Osama photos, they’re either too chicken to look or just aren’t cool, like, at all.
UPDATE:
No comment. [Daily Caller]
{ 114 comments }
Paging Mr Assange, telephone call for you in the Lobby.
Man up, Harry! Go sneak a peek.
So what I see when I Google "Muslin snuff porn" are not the Osama pix?
you forgot…
"Hey guys, I did that." Mark Kirk.
i wish i could give you more than one 'p' for that.
Excellent, but I suspect Kirk might say something like
"Well, when I killed 18 top terrorists and won the Medal of Honor on my last tour, none of them looked like that"
Y'know, so that he could both claim cool credit and undermine the President.
Translation from Kirk speak – "when I was fapping 18 times to Lindsey Graham's bootleg of 300 during my two week vacation/reserve training, none of the glistening dead Spartans looked like that"
Man!!!! I've been looking at dead Osama photographs since I was 15 and never looked back.
Oh for fucks sake, your delicious (horrible) avatar just made me fill several plastic bottles.
a really cool senator would say "I saw the pics…and he looks like your mom!" Ah, kids.
Just waiting for the inevitable, impenetrable Grassley tweet.
"There grate!! I wishd I culd skul fuk him."
That's where the "impenetrable" part should come in. MUST. BLEACH. BRAIN. NOW.
Harry Reid sees a corpse every time he looks in a mirror, so he's got that going for him, which is nice.
Who doesn't want to see photos of a guy who just got his brains blown out?
I'm sure this is probably harder on the GOPers than the Demrats because they'd be torn between wanting to see them (as fapping material) or not because a Demrat Kenyan born black Muslin fascist etc etc etc preznit dropped the dime on OBL and not their guy who stopped the hunt because it was too hard.
i think the Rs can have both ways. they'll fap in private and then in an awesome display of projection, start some anti-snuff porn fapping witch hunt in congress.
Joe Lieberman won't miss this opportunity:
“I’ve been so involved in all the post-9/11 activity here and Homeland Security related, I thought if they’d offer me this opportunity, I’m going to go out and look,” Lieberman told POLITICO.
When asked if seeing the photos would provide some closure, the Connecticut independent replied: “In a way.”
God, he is a repelent asshole.
Remember me, Joe Lieberman? Why won't the White House consult me, Joe Lieberman, about this issue that I, Joe Lieberman, have been so critically important in the execution of by me, Joe Lieberman. Lieberman Lieberman Lieberman Lieberman Lieberman!? Lieberman Lieberman!
Gee, I sure hope they have the internet in Vancouver. On account of I would miss you if you went and they didn't.
You've got the tone done perfectly. I can hear the whine.
The two uniquely American art forms are jazz and death porn.
Suck it up, I didn't want to see photos of Bristol Palin's face either.
You know who else doesn't want to look at the pictures?
Me.
Omar bin Laden?
NRA Spokesbabe Meghan McCain?
All of them, Katie.
the Gaugin art-slayer?
pegs, I should have done something like that at the Picasso exhibit last Sunday. Do you think I would have got a post at ye olde wonkettes?
Hmmm… If confronting a particularly onerous Pablo piece, I'm sure you could've put a 'dent' in his style while keeping your 'wits' about you.
Mrs., Mrs., Mrs., Mrs. and Mrs. bin Laden?
And what about the forty bin Laden little ones?
Diego Garcia?
Caroline Kennedy?
Alex in A Clockwork Orange?
Anyone who has a real life?
Tee-Hee
"hairy reed"
punzgood.
I try.
Reid's holding out for the snuff film.
I don't need to see the pictures, I saw Doc Holliday shoot Johnny Ringo above the left eye in Tombstone. In real life, not the movie
-John McCain
"You can see where they chopped out the heart for me," said little Dickie Cheney.
Harry's just gonna wait for it to come out on the next Faces of Death DVD.
You know who else didn't look so good right after he died?
Dick Cheney?
Elvis?
Beat me to it. Death is never pretty…but dying on while sitting on the hopper? Damn! That's cold.
Nick Nolte?
James Dean?
(Maybe Jimmy Dean… the SAUSAGE guy)
Abe Froman?
Mussolini?
For some reason, it doesn't look so bad when you're hanging upside down.
William the Conqueror?
Freddy Krueger?
Princess Grace?
"Princess" Diana?
Keith Richards?
Jayne Mansfield?
Add this to his attempt to outlaw prostitution in Nevada and a rather damaging narrative is starting to emerge.
Soon, a group of four Senators – a cool one, a geeky one, a fat one and another one – will go on a trip to find and view Osama bin Laden's body, while escaping the wrath of a group of bullies lead by Kieffer Sutherland, in a coming-of-age journey.
Are they going on the ORCA?
I guess that means they're going to approve the funding for that new bathyscaphe?
"Chopper, sick balls!" doesn't work on Harry Reid.
Ah, a better synopsis of some bullshit thing I scribbled downstream.
I bet some of the chickenhawks want to take the pictures to a firing range and fantasize about blowing him away themselves.
If anyone knows how to shoot someone in the face, it's cheney.
Man…those guys will jackoff to just about anything.
"I bet some of the chickenhawks want to take the pictures to a firing range and fantasize about blowing him themselves."
fxd
John McCain hasn't seen the photos — but he has seen the Currier & Ives etching.
So, Barry went from 7-dimensional chess player to unethical child psychologist. The self-esteem of those poor Congress-critters might never recover.
It'll turn up in Lindsey's nightstand covered in santorum smelling of shame.
Screw OBL's photos. I'm still waiting to see the photos of how Reid nearly died being struck down by that parked, stationary car. That's where the REAL story is people.
I hope this viewing is scheduled right after a lunch that features pea soup.
He's probably seen Sharron Angle in person, this would be a walk in the park.
Joe Biden: "Gnarly."
That's a big f'ing hole…a BIG F'ING HOLE in his head!
To see the photos, they have to go together in a group, walk along some train tracks, barely escape the train as it rolls toward them on a trestle, and then fall into this ditch thing in the woods, only to come upon Keifer Sutherland with a knife.
From the AP comment board:
Obama is such a political game player at the expense of the American people. Don't all Americans, especially those related to 9/11 victims, deserve the sense of closure that comes from seeing the photos of bin Laden's dead body? Obama's withholding these photos puts at issue not only his human sensitivity but also his commitment to the American people.
Let's review: sending a Hallmark card, remembering an anniversary, not expecting sex on the first date = sensitive. Publishing photos of a bloodied, bullet-riddled corpse with its head half blown off to satisfy someone's morbid death porn fixation = not sensitive.
Barry is such a cockblock. GIVE US OUR WARPORN!!!
And morally weak. Don't forget morally weak. Ever.
Pretty sure that Obama being black puts at issue his sensitivity and his commitment to the American people.
sentiments like that make me want to punch a republican in the face.
and this would likely be my mother as no one else i know is a republican.
You only know one Republican? Fuck, even my relatives in Massachusetts vote Republican. And I live in Texas, no more need be said. You lucky, lucky bastard.
I'm in the red hole of a blue state, I'll send you some birther, T-party ,Palin-lovers to kick around. Surrounded, send help.
What about sending a Hallmark anniversary card featuring a photo of a bloodied, bullet-riddled corpse with its head half blown off?
Now if it was nekkid pitchers of the new, improved Bristol, we'd take a look. Wanting to see an old man with a bullet wound above his eye, not so much.
Inhofe, huh? The conspiracy lives! Barry is only showing them to the dumbest members of Congress.
Hey! That's my Senator.
And yes, he is a major dumbfuck of the dumbest fuckiest kind.
How do you tell which ones are dumbest?
You put a caramel on the table in front of them. The smart ones remove the wrapper before eating it.
So are Inhofe and Obama BFFs now?
This accomplishment is what Inhofe will be remembered for to the ages. Oh, and being a stupid motherfucker.
Next @mikeallen twat:
Nuh-UH ME NEXT or am taking toyz & going HOME.
Inhofe also claims he saw a girl's hoo-ha once, but nobody believes him about that, either.
Ah, Mike Allen, maiden name Hunt.
"my cousin has a hoverboard." –some friend of mine in the 5th grade.
Barry knocking on the Oval Office Bathroom Door : "Alright, Jim. You've had your five minutes. We only have one copy. God, I hope it isn't sticky."
Open society anyone? If Bush was refusing to publish any pictures or provide any more details as to what went on, a lot of you would be bitching too.
You think throwing out a gory photo of bin Laden that'll likely just piss off some nut-cases in Iraq who will take their fury out on U.S. troops is the smart thing to do? And we all know in the age of Photoshop, the doubters will say it's phony, so what's the point? It has nothing to do with being open, it's just common sense.
not sure why the bin laden pic would piss anybody off any more than bombing their wedding party.
When are we going to see the rest of the Abu Ghraib torture porn pics?
You know they're going to end up on the Internet eventually; it's more a matter of when.
James O'Keefe is already editing the DVD remake, starring an Obama lookalike as OBL.
I'd say concomitant with Inhofe returning to his office.
Kids, their so precious at that age!
Can't you just get a copy of The National Geographic to see this stuff? I'm a society member, by the way. That means I'm special.
Did you get the tote bag or the umbrella?
This reminds me of the way a battered, wayward Playboy is passed around by hormonal 13-year old boys…except this is death porn, and we're dealing with wingnuts.
So…it would be a Playgirl instead?
They won't let Lieberman see the pix unless he does the Truffle Shuffle.
John Ensign really kicking himself today…
actual press release subject line: INHOFE FIRST MEMBER OF CONGRESS TO VIEW BIN LADEN PHOTOS
followup press release subject line : REST OF CONGRESS DIGS THROUGH JANITOR'S CLOSET LOOKING FOR A FULL CAN OF SPOOGE-AWAY
And this will be the song they all will sing when they discover they are among the chosen:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29_uSlEEPSk
According to A. Jones, Osamee's face has freezer burn…
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