AMERICAN SICKNESS  6:12 pm May 10, 2011

Where 1% Controls 40% of Wealth & 25% of Income, Donald Trump Is Loved

by Ken Layne

The horror, the horror.Roger Ebert, commenting on that Vanity Fair article that so upset the Wonkette Community, says this: “Wanton consumption is glorified. Corruption is rewarded. Ordinary people see their real income dropping, their houses sold out from under them, their pensions plundered, their unions legislated against, their health care still under attack …. Yet the most visible plutocrat in America is Donald Trump, a man who has made a fetish of his power.” Not just visible, but loved by the struggling white working class somehow duped into supporting the anti-American plunder personified by the evil industrialist exploitative Koch Brothers. Speaking of the Koch Brothers, we noticed on a family vacation last week that Koch Brothers’ evil industrialist brands “Brawny” (devastated forests) and “Dixie” (Southern white-power name for devastated forests) sponsor that whole back corner of “Critter Country,” behind that Splash Mountain thing. Shouldn’t Disney be boycotted for taking money from the anti-family anti-American Koch Brothers?

Oh, ye dumb nation! Trump is being run out of the race, of course. But he’s not being run out by the Republican base. They’ve seen him on teevee! He marries another Czech hooker every couple of years and is wary of “the blacks” and can’t even manage to hang onto the MILLIONS AND MILLIONS of dollars his parents gave him, because he was born both rich and stupid, which is why he keeps going bankrupt (which means “defaulting on your bills,” which for regular Americans means disaster, but the ultra-rich are not punished for not paying bills, they are in fact rewarded for it).

Anyway. [Roger Ebert]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 225 comments }

Gopherit May 10, 2011 at 6:15 pm

Yeah, well, I control a pantry with various foodstuffs and several cats……and I am happy. HAPPY GODDAMN IT!

carolinaswamp May 10, 2011 at 6:18 pm

You lie. No one controls cats.

Gopherit May 10, 2011 at 6:21 pm

I do. I really do. See the above reference to a pantry with foodstuffs. WHERE ARE YOUR OPPOSABLE THUMBS, KITTIES??!! MUAHAHAHA!

Arken May 10, 2011 at 6:29 pm

They don't need to open the pantry. They have you to do it for them. And you think you control them.

Buckminster May 10, 2011 at 6:44 pm

They may have no opposable thumbs, but they have sharp little claws and teeth and they can pee on EVERYTHING, including the ceiling.

Scary little bastards! Mine rule me with iron claws.

Fuck Toad May 11, 2011 at 1:25 am

Seriously. My little monster was just on a goddamn DIET and he still decided to take it out on me any chance he got. The ungrateful bastard was gnawing on my arm like a ham.

Fare la Volpe May 10, 2011 at 6:44 pm

I'm pretty sure cats don't scoop up your poop.

Crank_Tango May 10, 2011 at 6:45 pm

I have a case of cat food sitting on my bed and my cat likes to just lord over it like it's a stack of gold bars. if she could open them she would.

Fare la Volpe May 10, 2011 at 7:03 pm

So you keep it on your bed as a conversation piece, or…?

Gopherit May 10, 2011 at 7:15 pm

That's the saddest thing I have read today.

HistoriCat May 10, 2011 at 8:06 pm

Just remember, in the event of an emergency, you will go from controller of foodstuffs to being a foodstuff.

Negropolis May 11, 2011 at 3:12 am

WIN

wondering where i am May 11, 2011 at 12:56 pm

http://www.yourhoustonnews.com/cleveland/news/art

"A Cleveland man was attacked by a housecat Friday afternoon and the man's injuries are so severe that he had to be taken by air ambulance to Memorial Hermann Hospital in Houston."

BlueStateLibel May 10, 2011 at 6:28 pm

You beat me to it–Gopherit's deluding himself if he thinks he controls cats…they're probably having a good chuckle at his comment right now…then it's on to raid the foodstuffs.

Gopherit May 10, 2011 at 6:34 pm

There have been many casualties in the unattended chicken sandwich department….it's true.

Sparky_McGruff May 11, 2011 at 8:15 am

The current republican congress has redefined the rules. It shouldn't be considered a "casualty" if the chicken sandwich was just "asking for it".

mormos May 10, 2011 at 10:58 pm

you keep your cats in the pantry?

Lascauxcaveman May 11, 2011 at 12:54 am

Hmmm. As a cat person, it's interesting to me how many of you couch your cat conversations in master/slave terms. I see myself on fairly equal terms with my feline companions.

True, I feel compelled to buy them a new 20-lb bag of kibble every month or so, but my two huntresses more than make up for this in terms of fresh meat brought in through the kitty door that gives them 24/7 access to a world of endless birds, mice, shrews, woodrats and delicious, insidious, plotting terrorist SQUIRRELS.

(Fucking squirrels!)

Left_Leftie May 11, 2011 at 2:41 am

WOW 25 replies to the cat thread. Liberals ARE Pussy -Lovers!

riverside68 May 11, 2011 at 9:46 am

Liberals are lovers.

I myself prefer the must-work-for-approval and intermittent reward of a purr of the cat to the co-dependance of the dog. But if I ever again live outside the bounds of the leash laws and pooper scoopers, I'd love to get a big one to let loose again.

UpFistTroll May 11, 2011 at 9:40 am

Holy cow… you have foodstuffs in your pantry?

Elitist.

WriteyWriterton May 10, 2011 at 6:17 pm

More mit der Trump? You are pumping the dreck-tubes, Ken. Must be taking the Wonkette in for its 50,000-snark tune-up.

Gopherit May 10, 2011 at 6:17 pm

And Donald Trump is as American as egregious litigation and fucking over your friends for a profit. Also, apple pie.

anniegetyerfun May 10, 2011 at 6:57 pm

How about fucking your friends over apple pie? Because the weekend is fast approaching, and I don't want to seem ferrin' or nothin'.

Fare la Volpe May 10, 2011 at 7:05 pm

I remember a kid who fucked an apple pie. I don't think it ended well.

Gopherit May 10, 2011 at 7:36 pm

There has to be profit in there somewhere. How about fucking then selling them the pie?

hilacious May 10, 2011 at 6:18 pm

There are about a thousand things Disney should be boycotted for.

hagajim May 10, 2011 at 6:20 pm

A few thousand? How about a few million.

hilacious May 10, 2011 at 6:23 pm

I was actually going to say 'billion' but felt it a bit much. You're probably closer.

WriteyWriterton May 10, 2011 at 6:21 pm

Trump in, Duck out.

smokefilledroommate May 10, 2011 at 7:03 pm

Ducks with no pants (among many other more important reasons).

the_problem_child May 10, 2011 at 7:34 pm

I'm more disturbed by the hat and jacket than the pants.

Not_So_Much May 10, 2011 at 7:05 pm

Someone should be flogged just for Hannah Montana. Don't even get me started on what atrocities should be visited upon whomever unleashed the Bieber/Kraaken…

Pithaughn May 10, 2011 at 7:23 pm

Sorry, but I love Disneyland. My first real job. Lost my cherry backstage of the Tiki Room ( thank you Sheryl ). First LSD experience. Championship canoe team, 1978. But, I was one of only two bartenders in the whole park so maybe that explains the fond luscious memories.

hilacious May 10, 2011 at 7:35 pm

Those are all very good reasons to be biased sir! I bet more hanky panky goes on at the Happiest Place on Earth than we could even imagine.

BerkeleyBear May 10, 2011 at 8:24 pm

From what I heard, the park is so wired by security now that the hanky panky is pretty much nada. At least, that's what the guy who wrote a one man show about his experiences as a costumed character told me.

The show was called "Welcome to Mauschwitz" by the way, for what he was greeted with by an elderly "cast member" on his first day.

themcwow May 10, 2011 at 8:11 pm

LSD at the Tiki Room sounds great right now.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 10, 2011 at 11:46 pm

Imagine stumbling around amidst 7-foot-tall mice, ducks, and chipmunks while on acid. (*Shudders*) Or contemplating Orange County GOP politics. (*Runs screaming into the night.*)

poncho_pilot May 11, 2011 at 2:45 am

Darkwing Duck grabbed my mom's ass while we were taking a picture with him. coincidentally, my mom's name is Sheryl.

FakaktaSouth May 11, 2011 at 12:30 am

I found out I was preggers at Disney once. Happiest place on Earth my ass. Also, do you have any idea how much a pregnancy test costs at Disney World?

comptoneffect May 11, 2011 at 9:29 am

Sheryl?

PuckStopsHere May 11, 2011 at 3:01 am

Got busted for attempting to blaze up in the parking lot. Happiest place on earth, my ass.

hilacious May 11, 2011 at 11:12 am

I think the only time I was happy there was when I was knocking back red headed sluts at Ariel's Tavern.

Weenus299 May 11, 2011 at 9:58 am

The nazis at Disney World always looked fake.

Hatrabbit May 10, 2011 at 6:19 pm

"Trump is being run out of the race, of course."

I thought this season of "Celebrity Pretend President" had another 24 episodes to go before the finale (Inauguration).

MarcelleMarceau May 10, 2011 at 6:19 pm

Who would have thought old Walt was a prophetic guy? Let it be known that Pluto is now the new official mascot of the GOP.

justkillmenow May 11, 2011 at 9:02 am

I thought it was Uranus.

hagajim May 10, 2011 at 6:20 pm

Wanton consumption is glorified. Corruption is rewarded

Welcome to the good ol' USA – FUCK YEAH!!!!!

Amo_of_Bogio May 10, 2011 at 7:01 pm

… where the new/old motto is I got mine, fuck you.

JackObin May 10, 2011 at 6:21 pm

Donald Chump.

Chillwaver May 10, 2011 at 6:22 pm

Is Walt still frozen?

Fukui_sanYesOta May 10, 2011 at 6:38 pm

His head is frozen, but Walt himself is on the fourth level of hell. In Walt's case, that's a nice Jewish deli with unionized staff sporting beards.

poncho_pilot May 11, 2011 at 3:02 am

if only he'd made it to the ninth. he could have had his body frozen, as well.

mormos May 10, 2011 at 11:06 pm

to answer your question: Are the jews gone yet?

hagajim May 10, 2011 at 6:22 pm

real income dropping non-existent, their houses sold out from under them losing value by the minute, their pensions plundered…What pension?

HistoriCat May 10, 2011 at 8:10 pm

Must be those damned union thugs.

Ken Layne May 10, 2011 at 6:22 pm

John Steinbeck said it long ago: "Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires."

Steverino247 May 10, 2011 at 6:29 pm

And their poor math skills keep them in line for the lottery tickets they believe will correct that embarrassment.

Terry May 10, 2011 at 7:36 pm

That, and finding things to conveniently trip over and fall in stores.

Limeylizzie May 10, 2011 at 6:39 pm

And those other rich, entitled bastards, the Windsors.

V572..whatever May 10, 2011 at 8:55 pm

Didja see "The Daily Show"'s animated sendup of the wedding. Juicy!

http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/tue-may-3-2011/

V572..whatever May 10, 2011 at 6:45 pm

And that's because there's a greater opportunity to become a millionaire here than anywhere else. Not to go all jingo, but it's true. The Old Money set down at the yacht basin laugh at Trump, but their money is still crisp and newly earned by European standards. The current Poors admire Trump the way Poors and people of color everywhere admired Muhammed Ali: not sure why that's true, but it really seems like it is. Something about getting all the goodies without adopting the values of the gatekeepers, I guess.

Fukui_sanYesOta May 10, 2011 at 6:57 pm

Not actually true.

The OECD claim that inter-generational social mobility in the US, along with the UK, France and southern European countries is actually rather poor compared with other OECD countries. Stats in the link. Extract from front page:

Policy reform can remove obstacles to intergenerational social mobility and thereby promote equality of opportunities across individuals. Such reform will also enhance economic growth by allocating human resources to their best use. This chapter assesses cross-country patterns in intergenerational social mobility and examines the role that public policies play in affecting mobility. Intergenerational earning, wage and educational mobility vary widely across OECD countries. Mobility in earnings, wages and education across generations is relatively low in France, southern European countries, the United Kingdom and the United States. By contrast, such mobility tends to be higher in Australia, Canada and the Nordic countries.

Fare la Volpe May 10, 2011 at 7:02 pm

Great, our American Dream is even more of a lie.

Hurray pessimism.

bagofmice May 11, 2011 at 1:35 pm

Welcome to wonkette.

V572..whatever May 10, 2011 at 7:20 pm

Always willing to admit my worst fears are true, but is greater mobility in earnings and wages necessarily the same thing as the chance to become a millionaire? The first line of the article defines it as “the chance to earn more than one’s parents.”

Fukui_sanYesOta May 10, 2011 at 8:40 pm

Well, social mobility is more a sense of achievement potential for the population at large, which I'd argue gives a greater societal potential for improvement.

As for millionaire creation, you're probably right. Certainly in the "shithead" fields like the financial sector, it'll outstrip London or Hong Kong, I'd imagine. In the non-shithead fields, the US definitely has the best VC-funding availability, and (arguably) the best couple of Universities. Business environment? I'm not so sure; it's been pretty similar running a company in the UK/EU and the US for me.

ChessieNefercat May 10, 2011 at 6:23 pm

Oh, just fuck off, Trump.

spudgun May 10, 2011 at 6:26 pm

I initially read “Wanton consumption is glorified" as "Wonton consumption is glorified", which I HEARTILY endorse.

Mmmmm, wontons…

MarcelleMarceau May 10, 2011 at 6:30 pm

Sweet and sour sauce, please.

spudgun May 10, 2011 at 6:48 pm

You got it!

ArmoredBore May 10, 2011 at 7:47 pm

Just sour, at this point

Terry May 10, 2011 at 7:39 pm

It must be dinner time. I misread it the same way.

poncho_pilot May 11, 2011 at 3:05 am

"wanton Consumption glorified: Mycobacterium tuberculosis leads in Republican Primary poll."

bagofmice May 11, 2011 at 1:45 pm

So it's fair to say that much like our debt, you don't mind some Chinese in you. Welcome to the club.

Texan_Bulldog May 10, 2011 at 6:26 pm

He is the male Sarah Palin–classless, clueless, self-centered, racist, mean-spirited, stupid but thinks he's fucking Einstein. That is why the Republican base love him so much–he is them.

Pithaughn May 10, 2011 at 7:15 pm

They are both cunning, I'll give them that. They are the type that is always working some angle for themselves, always for THEMSELVES. Just watch and you'll see it is so. They look down on truly altruistic deeds. IF it seems like they are doing something charitable, well, there is something to be gained for themselves.

Fare la Volpe May 10, 2011 at 7:17 pm

I don't recall Sarah Palin ever making a move to help a charity. Even on a 9/11 anniversary she opposed healthcare coverage for Ground Zero firefighters. The woman is like every bitchy cheerleader in every Molly Ringwald movie.

Terry May 10, 2011 at 7:40 pm

The Snowbilly Grifter's favorite charity is herself.

NorthStarSpanx May 11, 2011 at 10:40 am

It was hilarious the way with her newfound riches, she took to private learjet and bus travelin – and her bots were adoring of her avoiding the unwashed (them.) They were thrilled for her wealth and felt she shouldn't have to mingle with them unless they paid $1,000 for a photo.

SmutBoffin May 10, 2011 at 6:27 pm

"America is the wealthiest nation on Earth, but its people are mainly poor, and poor Americans are urged to hate themselves. To quote the American humorist Kin Hubbard, ‘It ain’t no disgrace to be poor, but it might as well be.’ It is in fact a crime for an American to be poor, even though America is a nation of poor. Every other nation has folk traditions of men who were poor but extremely wise and virtuous, and therefore more estimable than anyone with power and gold. No such tales are told by the American poor. They mock themselves and glorify their betters. The meanest eating or drinking establishment, owned by a man who is himself poor, is very likely to have a sign on its wall asking this cruel question: ‘if you’re so smart, why ain’t you rich?’ There will also be an American flag no larger than a child’s hand – glued to a lollipop stick and flying from the cash register."

K. Vonnegut

anniegetyerfun May 10, 2011 at 6:58 pm

Oh, so THAT'S why they were always banning his books in high school.

fuflans May 10, 2011 at 7:51 pm

he never gets old.

sadly.

BeWoot May 11, 2011 at 12:33 am

Vonnegut forgot Uncle Remus … wise, virtuous and surely poor.

e_z May 11, 2011 at 1:10 am

…and so it goes

flamingpdog May 11, 2011 at 2:09 am

God IS dead.

edgydrifter May 10, 2011 at 6:28 pm

How awesome would it be to be Canadian? Pretty awesome, I'm betting. They get to laugh at the gap-toothed American underclass slitting its own throat voting for unambiguously dick-brained charlatans like [insert name of any Republican candidate], but they don't have to live (directly, at least) with the consequences. In fact, they probably encourage it, because it makes Canada look so much smarter and better in the eyes of the rest of the world.
Hey… wait a minute. That's their plan, isn't it? This is all Canada's fault! SUCK IT, CANADIA! USA! USA!

nounverb911 May 10, 2011 at 6:44 pm

Needs more Bieber.

the_problem_child May 10, 2011 at 7:40 pm

It's true. Our charlatans are relatively intelligent. But they're still dicks who want to make us more, not less, like the US.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 10, 2011 at 11:54 pm

Um… don't look now, but guess which party now has a majority in Canada? (Just in time to ruin my plans to emigrate, eh?)

RadioGroundZero May 11, 2011 at 12:53 am

Defend the Northern Border!!1!

Negropolis May 11, 2011 at 3:30 am

I'm just glad we have Obama as president, down here, right now, even with all of his faults as opposed to Mitt Romney Redux Stephen Harper. Just 'cause he ain't raving like some crazy Baptist preacher or speaking in tongues like some unhinged Pentecostal don't make him no less evil.

Canadian evil displays itself like most of their other emotions and characteristics (reservedly), but Stephen Harper will still cut a bitch in the worst way. He'll just do it in that passively-aggresive Canadian way, eh.

anniegetyerfun May 10, 2011 at 6:32 pm

ou're familiar with the ways bad mortgages were urged upon people who couldn't afford them, by banks who didn't care that the loans were bad. The banks made the loans and turned a profit by selling them to investors while at the same time betting against them on their own account.

Oh, whatever, Ebert. Everybody knows that the problem was black people.

Limeylizzie May 10, 2011 at 6:40 pm

Ebert's wife is black.

anniegetyerfun May 10, 2011 at 6:42 pm

SO HE SHOULD KNOW BETTER. The media told me that the problem was "urban" types greedily taking on mortgages, the terms of which would change suddenly. Greedy people attempting to own two-bedroom bungalows. The banks just wanted to help.

Pithaughn May 10, 2011 at 7:18 pm

The Democrats forced the banks to loan to Nears. Of course the whole system imploded, it is all near Democrats fault.

Gleem_McShineys May 10, 2011 at 8:19 pm

I just received a very similar retelling of these same causes from my Beck watchin' Rush listenin' Mom, who also just happens to live in AZ now. Though she holds back on the Near terms when talking to me, thankfully.

Must be true then!

ArmoredBore May 10, 2011 at 7:53 pm

(re: all that stuff about the mortgages and bankers)

Ya don't say…

axmxz May 10, 2011 at 9:20 pm

Ebert's part of the problem, he's in bed with black people.

Negropolis May 11, 2011 at 3:38 am

WIN

One might even say he's sleeping with the enemy.

Once you go back, well…you better brace your back.

Buzz Feedback May 10, 2011 at 6:34 pm

Welcome to The Sinkhole That is America.

ifthethunderdontgetya May 10, 2011 at 6:35 pm

Speaking of the Koch Brothers, we noticed on a family vacation last week…

I'm trying to imagine the Laynes on vacation

It's a quest for fun!
~

smokefilledroommate May 10, 2011 at 6:38 pm

I thought wanton consumption was only glorified in China.

nounverb911 May 10, 2011 at 6:40 pm

They have good wonton over at the Bellevue Din Tai Fung.

smokefilledroommate May 10, 2011 at 6:45 pm

For engaging in wanton wonton consumption?

bagofmice May 11, 2011 at 2:09 pm

I was just there on monday. And had a wonton.

Buckminster May 10, 2011 at 6:45 pm

Or is that "won ton" consumption?

smokefilledroommate May 10, 2011 at 6:48 pm

mao tse tung/ mao zedong..

Negropolis May 11, 2011 at 3:40 am

"One ton" consumption, methinks.

nounverb911 May 10, 2011 at 6:39 pm

Trump Wins the Combover Vote!

DownFist Troll May 10, 2011 at 6:40 pm

Wait a sec, what was that about Czech hookers? Where can gets?

HistoriCat May 10, 2011 at 8:13 pm

Prague?

MadBrahms May 10, 2011 at 8:35 pm

San Fernando Valley?

flamingpdog May 11, 2011 at 2:13 am

Czech cashing stores?

Negropolis May 11, 2011 at 3:40 am

The internets? USPS?

mourningnmerica May 10, 2011 at 6:42 pm

And the thing is, he is just such a raging, raving asshole. He is clearly sick in the mind. I think it's like Palin. The corporate media just keeps serving it up and serving it up. Everything is so sickening. After Trump, they will simply serve up the next sick asshole. What a world.

DDDintensified May 10, 2011 at 6:44 pm

Was Ken at Disney World? That explains it…I was in EPCOT last Sunday, and I wondered why they armed all the furries around the America Pavilion.

smokefilledroommate May 10, 2011 at 6:47 pm

Yeah, that's great, Roger.. But I wanna hear about 'Fast Five'.

Negropolis May 11, 2011 at 3:42 am

Needz moar Thor.

bagofmice May 11, 2011 at 2:10 pm

Stop. Hammertime.

Goonemeritus May 10, 2011 at 6:47 pm

You sir will not send me to bed depressed for a second night in a row. I just discovered the local supermarket is selling Jammie Dodgers, this well make watching the new season of Doctor Who even better.

Janinthepan May 10, 2011 at 9:24 pm

Wait. You'll need a fez. Fezes are cool.

Negropolis May 11, 2011 at 3:43 am

Doctor who? Who's on first?

Fare la Volpe May 10, 2011 at 6:51 pm

My Canadian sorta-boyfriend offered me to stay at his place in Vancouver until all this shit in the US blows over. I'm guessing 40-45 years should be about right, no? How long does it take for one of those Socialist Revolutions™ to kick in?

anniegetyerfun May 10, 2011 at 7:00 pm

TAKE HIM UP ON IT NOW RUN WHILE YOU CAN MY GOD WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?

fuflans May 10, 2011 at 7:55 pm

well there is harper and his win hovering like a bagger over canada's future. you may want to consider that.

and this brand of conservative always seems to overreach…

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 10, 2011 at 8:12 pm

Just come and live with me in the Socialist Republic of Washington. As good of weed, better beer, and we don't talk funny.

realmurkin May 10, 2011 at 9:45 pm

Better weed, even!

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 10, 2011 at 6:53 pm

Trump is just a distraction, probably working for the Vanderbilts and George Soros. The real power will only be revealed once Glenn Beck has gone to Damascus.

anniegetyerfun May 10, 2011 at 7:00 pm

But how many ARE there? It's keeping me awake at night.

Fare la Volpe May 10, 2011 at 7:06 pm

Like a MILLIONTY BILLION.

gef05 May 10, 2011 at 7:01 pm

Proof that corporate barons, like Trump, have the general populace at heel, resides in four little numbers & letters:

401K

Churches around the world must slaver over the situation that corporations enjoy here.

Goonemeritus May 10, 2011 at 7:01 pm

They seem a little rubbery is that right?

Limeylizzie May 10, 2011 at 7:07 pm

What you call rubbery we call jam .If you can get the jam and custard ones they are rubbery AND creamy. I got downfisted for the Jammie Dodgers comment, he hates jam biscuits now?

Goonemeritus May 10, 2011 at 7:09 pm

And boobies

Fare la Volpe May 10, 2011 at 7:12 pm

I hear those are pretty rubbery too.

Goonemeritus May 10, 2011 at 7:15 pm

Only on the coasts.

AddHomonym May 10, 2011 at 9:12 pm

Better than dodgy jammers, righty-o m'lady?

MissTaken May 10, 2011 at 7:08 pm

I think the only thing Ebert hates more than 3D is Trump. And I agree with him on both.

Fare la Volpe May 10, 2011 at 7:20 pm

Imagine Trump in 3-D. Buhhhh.

BaldarTFlagass May 10, 2011 at 7:09 pm

Re: Koch sponsorship at Disney. I noticed when I was up in DC last month that the Koch name is splashed all over the Museum of Natural History at the Smithsonian. I wonder what their proletarian fans think of them associating themselves with something like science and (gasp!) evolution. I was having me some cognitive dissonance, but then realized that they are no doubt rational and smart enough to understand the truths behind science, but are happy to have their hero-worshipping "fans" dumbed down enough to ask "Where's the dinosaur that Jesus rode up to Calvary Hill?"

Terry May 10, 2011 at 7:44 pm

I'm hoping against hope that it's a different batch of Koches

Terry May 10, 2011 at 7:51 pm

I googled, yes, they sponsored the new human evolution hall. Why???

Fukui_sanYesOta May 10, 2011 at 8:44 pm

Fucks like the Kochs use evolution as a justification for their godawful Rand-ish concept of "Social Darwinism"

Left_Leftie May 11, 2011 at 2:47 am

They also sponsor Nova on PBS. I think it's blood money so Frontline won't do a full-blown expose

DahBoner May 11, 2011 at 12:41 pm

They gave $7 million to Nova, which is about Science. Whatever.

bagofmice May 11, 2011 at 2:21 pm

This would be precisely the thoughts of Irving Kristol, the father of Bill Kristol Human Dildo. It is a philosophy that demands the telling of congenial lies to the masses, because they are not privileged enough to deal with the truth.

user-of-owls May 10, 2011 at 7:15 pm

If you think about it, this is a pretty remarkable biological breakthrough in terms of evolutionary mutation. For the first time that I'm aware of, parasites have managed to make their hosts actually welcome and like them.

bagofmice May 11, 2011 at 2:23 pm

Remoras represent! /user-of-sharks.

donner_froh May 10, 2011 at 7:17 pm

The President rolling over for Boehner and McConnell on the Bush tax cuts looks worse every fucking week.

smokefilledroommate May 10, 2011 at 7:19 pm

I do indeed have a preference for the cars–the cars that go BOOM. I'm Smoke-Filled Roommate and I like da BOOM. (not really).

widget2011 May 10, 2011 at 7:30 pm

Somebody should do a blingee with the Kochtopus ramming a dildo in every concievable orafice, that would be epic!

[redacted]hse May 10, 2011 at 7:34 pm

Fuck Disney.

Mort_Sinclair May 10, 2011 at 7:38 pm

The Republican party is nothing but a cult of personality, born and bred on Fox News for the consumption of the unwashed, ignorant masses. And these dolts are all too ill-educated to figure it out. The Republicans have got these fist-pumping, flag-waving fools believing, Monty Python style, " sorry this" and "forgive me that" and "I'm not worthy…." It's a perfect scam, really.

fuflans May 10, 2011 at 7:58 pm

i would not care about this if i had any money. or a job.

oh hey! that reminds me! where are the jobs mitch? eric? john? rand? ron??

(crickets…)

bagofmice May 11, 2011 at 2:30 pm

Perhaps if you had a cluster of fetal cells attached to you, possibly 2-3 hundred, he might pay attention. It IS in HR 3 after all.

smokefilledroommate May 10, 2011 at 8:30 pm

I've got my spine, I've got my orange crush– how prescient those lyrics are, hoboically speaking.

MiniMencken May 11, 2011 at 4:06 pm

"Hoboically?" That is an absolute gem of a neologism. Now I'll try working it into at least three conversations today so that I will have increased my word power.

neiltheblaze May 10, 2011 at 8:38 pm

Ayn Rand is looking up from Hell at all of this approvingly.

Warpde May 10, 2011 at 10:19 pm

She obviously hasn't seen the box office recites yet.

Negropolis May 11, 2011 at 3:52 am

I'm sure she was disappointed like no other to find out Hell exists. lol

neiltheblaze May 11, 2011 at 8:21 am

I wonder if she's elbowed Satan aside yet.

bagofmice May 11, 2011 at 2:32 pm

Fallen Angel vs. Fallen Russian. Fight!

Negropolis May 12, 2011 at 1:13 am

I can see her now bitterly criticizing Satan's work performance.

axmxz May 10, 2011 at 9:01 pm

Come on, Ken. It's so easy to shit on Republicans when they actually deserve it – why bother doing it when they don't?

Gallup: "These findings are based on interviews with more than 1,500 Republicans and Republican-leaning independents nationwide….Businessman and television personality Trump, recipient of much publicity over the last several weeks, has the unenviable distinction of receiving a Positive Intensity Score of 0, the lowest for any of the 13 candidates measured. Overall, 98% of Republicans recognize Trump, but among this group 12% say their opinion of Trump is strongly favorable, while 11% say it is strongly unfavorable. Rounding differences result in his overall net score of 0."

Fuck Toad May 11, 2011 at 1:38 am

That's a single poll. What about all the polls showing Trump with a sizable chunk of support for the goddamn presidency?

And Trump has been idolized by certain types for years. It's nothing new.

El Pinche May 10, 2011 at 9:12 pm

Fuck the Lion King and Circle Jerk of Life.

poncho_pilot May 11, 2011 at 4:20 am

"Mickey Mouse's birthday being announced on the television news as if it were an actual event! I don't give a shit! If I cared about Mickey Mouse's birthday I would have memorized it years ago! And I'd send him a card, 'Dear Mickey, Happy Birthday, Love George'. I don't do that. why? I don't give a shit! Fuck Mickey Mouse! Fuck him in the ass with a big rubber dick! Then break it off and beat him with it!" –George Carlin

miss_grundy May 10, 2011 at 9:19 pm

Because they think they are one lottery ticket away from becoming millionaires and having the same lifestyle. That's why they are willing to fight against estate taxes, which is why the Repugnants now call it the death tax. If they rename it, they know dumb poor people will get all riled up and fight against the higher taxes and stuff. Why should the rich look stupid fighting against this stuff when they can have trailer trash do it for them?

BZ1 May 10, 2011 at 9:26 pm

The Donald is a plutocrat? I thought faux billionaires were just stupid, lying scumbags, oh well, live and learn….

BarackMyWorld May 10, 2011 at 9:32 pm

Krugman had a great post the other day about wealth distribution: http://krugman.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/05/07/feder

As the CBO has documented, what we’ve seen over the past 30 years is a dramatic shift of income toward the top, with the richest Americans sharply increasing their share of pre-tax income. It’s highly likely that government policies, from financial deregulation to union-busting, have played an important role in that growing income concentration. At the same time, tax rates on top income have fallen, and by more than tax rates on lower incomes. But the rise in the top share has been so great that high-income Americans pay a larger share of total taxes than they used to despite tax policy that favors their interests. And the new cry from the hired hands of the rich is that it’s unfair that the wealthy should pay such a large share of taxes.

wondering where i am May 11, 2011 at 1:09 pm

Yes, the Freepers are always screecing about that, how the zillyonaires pay more taxes than they used to. And they they are incensed that some people pay no taxes at all. I don't know how they think they will find money to pay taxes if they have no income.

VinnyThePooh May 10, 2011 at 9:53 pm

How long must I be punished for choosing to be born in the wrong house?

Jerry Mander's In The Absence Of The Sacred pretty much solidified my disgust of all things Disney.

weejee May 10, 2011 at 11:20 pm

"Trump is being run out of the race, of course."

Does this mean the Donald is now a colored? He still looks a bit melanin-impaired.

SayItWithWookies May 10, 2011 at 11:26 pm

Best statement to undercut some rich-worshipping dumbass who, instead of wanting to reform the system, hungrily hopes for his turn to be the big self-congralating parasite at the top of the heap: "Hey, did you know the US has about the lowest class mobility in the industrialized world? That means your chances of being the next Donald Trump are better in — Canada and Denmark, for instance."

Fukui_sanYesOta May 11, 2011 at 12:16 am

I'd mentioned this exact study in a previous post because it's interesting and a wakeup call.

However, with your blessing, let me do some more depressing!!!

Gini index of income inequality:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by

OECD talks about quality of eduction improving social cohesion:
https://community.oecd.org/community/educationtod

One study, reported by the New York Times,, found that that for every extra year of education women had, the death rate for children under 5 dropped by almost 10 percent. The study also found that educated women tend to use health services more often and make better choices on hygiene, nutrition and parenting.

But fucked planned parenthood, right? Also, Michelle Obama! Nutrition advice? FASCISM!

Biel_ze_Bubba May 11, 2011 at 12:04 am

Downfistie McTrucknutz is up and about, trying to gobble your p-ness.
Fixed. But he's probably hungry for more.

WilliamHTaft May 11, 2011 at 12:56 am

We Americans ain't so good at commie gay shit like reading books, but our imaginations are number 1.

I treat everyone like shit all the time too. Maybe I can be as good as Donald Trump! More hobo beans, please!

chascates May 11, 2011 at 2:25 am

I think it would be a lot better if we just drew straws instead of having elections. The need for campaign money and lobbyists would disappear. Although any one wanting to start a war would have to livr in that country first for 3 months. You could only serve one term, you'd have to answer your own phone, type your own email, and find your own hookers.

Warpde May 11, 2011 at 2:33 am

Little something for us Libs to go to sleep with. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1Uicc-6I-M
Sleep tight.

Negropolis May 11, 2011 at 3:09 am

Why does Roger Ebert hate America?

DrunkIrishman May 11, 2011 at 3:25 am

Donald Trump has a small penis.

MiniMencken May 11, 2011 at 3:55 am

A fetish of his power? But, he has no power. Trump's career is based on paying for publicity and then using that dubious celebrity to get banks to loan him money for deals they want to get out of, for the most part. He's the Crazy Eddy of big ticket New York real estate. Surely all educated persons understand that? Or is our country that far gone?

DashboardBuddha May 11, 2011 at 8:00 am

I think it's further gone than we know.

James Michael Curley May 11, 2011 at 8:55 am

So, like Crazy Eddy he will run off to some foreign land which will block his extradiction and recovery of his ill gotten monies?

MiniMencken May 11, 2011 at 4:10 pm

I believe that foreign country is named Florida.

James Michael Curley May 11, 2011 at 6:01 am

Keep safe Ken. In the adulterated words of Dan Akroyd, "I hate Riverside Nazis."

BlueStateLibel May 11, 2011 at 7:14 am

It seems downfister troll has a huge crush on Donald Trump! All you commentators are destroying his big he-man fantasy about Trump–he's probably off in a corner crying now.

freakishlywrong May 11, 2011 at 8:02 am

At the risk of being fisted, I'm going to say this ooooooooone more time. Trump is a perfect representation of today's GOP. A loud mouthed, projecting, vulgar, bullying, conspiracy obsessed hypocrite. With a silver foot in his mouth.

vulpes82 May 11, 2011 at 8:41 am

Ken in Disneyland? The mind boggles. I picture spectacular harangues about income inequality and corporate malfeasance in front of the "It's a Small World" gift shop. "Mommy, why is the mountain man with the beard calling America a lie and agitating for an immediate proletarian revolution? And why is Goofy beating him with a truncheon?"

DashboardBuddha May 11, 2011 at 8:56 am

"That's not a truncheon, dear. Don't stare."

freakishlywrong May 11, 2011 at 9:10 am

Oh shit! Too easy to visualize Sorry for any typos, tearing up and making terrible sounds trying not to to guffaw out loud.

vulpes82 May 11, 2011 at 9:37 am

If you're fired, my work here is done.

James Michael Curley May 11, 2011 at 9:15 am

It is most likely Ken will be mistaken for Grumpy.

vulpes82 May 11, 2011 at 9:38 am

Ha!

4TheTurnstiles May 11, 2011 at 8:53 am

Will the troll downfist a picture of a kitten? A Buddhist meetup group? Stay tuned…
http://www.meetup.com/ekayana

DashboardBuddha May 11, 2011 at 8:55 am

Where's the picture of the kitten? I thought there would be a picture of a kitten. Want kitten!

4TheTurnstiles May 11, 2011 at 11:08 am

I just suck at HTML, sorry.

DashboardBuddha May 11, 2011 at 11:11 am

No…no kitten?

SilverFox May 11, 2011 at 9:46 am

I come to Wonkette for laffs, but this is causing me to have the sadz.

LesBontemps May 11, 2011 at 10:03 am

Okay, it's after 10 a.m. EDT and still no Morning in America. I know Riley's gone, but WTF???? Where's my morning snark????

jus_wonderin May 11, 2011 at 10:07 am

Ya know, it has been my experience that some of the most strident Righties that rail against welfare have…in fact…been through bankrupsty. Pisses me off no end, as there is NO difference. Pay your fucking bills conservative sh!t sacks!

freakishlywrong May 11, 2011 at 10:08 am

I miss guano fauceting, tongue punching fart boxes.

loulouroo May 11, 2011 at 10:28 am

Don't underesimate the hold that Multi-level Marketing schemes have over the wingnuts. The DeVos family are just as destructive as the Kochs with their push to privatize schools and make ME pay for their religious institutions. The Stupid is really strong here as Amway, Shaklee, ad nauseum pyramid religions make these poor saps think they can get rich.

dahboner May 11, 2011 at 12:20 pm

Oh.

Fare la Volpe May 10, 2011 at 7:10 pm

My late cat was a freaking ninja. He learned how to open closed doors, hide entire live birds in his mouth, and even fall off three story buildings into a jungle and still climb back up.

It's only a matter of time before yours learn his secrets. Beware.

gef05 May 10, 2011 at 7:17 pm

Oh yes. I second Fare's remarks. They learn, they learn.

I grew up with a moggy who started out on the doorhandles that are the flat lever kind – all she had to do was jump and get a paw on it and gravity did the rest. Easy.

But to see her open a round door handle – that was special.

Gopherit May 10, 2011 at 7:16 pm

Sounds like my college cat. Substitute cicadas for birds and it's a perfect match.

Fare la Volpe May 10, 2011 at 7:30 pm

We used to keep the door to our basement locked all day to prevent the cat getting down there. Everyday he would paw at that door just because he knew he wasn't allowed in.

One day I'm the first to come home, and I walk into the kitchen to find the round-handle basement door wide open with Pumpkin chilling on the top step, purring like a maniac like he was oh-so pleased with himself.

I still don't know how he did it, but ever since that day I regarded him with a palpable mixture of awe and fear.

Terry May 10, 2011 at 7:33 pm

It's a kink. Best not ask too many questions.

Crank_Tango May 10, 2011 at 8:38 pm

LOL well I had to move their food dish into my room cuz my roomate's dog keeps bogarting their food and getting the devil farts.

This is the first time it has actually sparked a conversation, but I only bought the food a few days ago, and they are the only other people visiting my room these days…

V572..whatever May 10, 2011 at 8:53 pm

Yeah, granting fortunes more or less at random (or according to which prep school you went to, or who you’re connected to politically, or how brilliant you are, or how hard you work) is pretty much the same as the lottery, even though some fortune-makers “deserve” to be rich, if anyone can be said to deserve such a thing. I’m extrapolating from what some immigrant friends have told me, plus my own native-born experience. What the MSM call “an unscientific poll.”

poncho_pilot May 11, 2011 at 2:58 am

thank you for introducing the term "shithead field" to my vocabulary. i have needed a more succinct term than"the types of jobs assholes want" or "jobs for failed jocks that went to business school because they are too dumb, mean, and uncreative to do anything else".

Gopherit May 10, 2011 at 9:38 pm

I felt the same way when my cat "accidentally" peed on the two roommates i didn't like…..from range….on two different nights when they were outside. i was glad i was on her good side.

DaRooster May 10, 2011 at 11:40 pm

The nice thing… one CAN train a dog… I know, I've done it.

Crank_Tango May 11, 2011 at 1:54 am

lol this dog is 12 and no longer cares about anything but getting a snack of cat foods.

also, cat poops, dug up fresh from the garden.

Negropolis May 11, 2011 at 3:35 am

I just got what "Nears" was supposed to mean. You people and your fancy Apache Navajo codetalkin'.

Fukui_sanYesOta May 11, 2011 at 3:43 am

Heh, it's how it is.

When I was contracting as a programmer, I used to talk to a recruitment consultant (another shithead profession).

Recruiter: Got a great one for you!

Fukui: Oh yeah?

Recruiter: Yeah, [obscene amount] per day!

Fukui: Nicely. What?

Recruiter: Banking contract – London. Your skills.

Fukui: Not interested.

Recruiter: Why? It's a lot of money!

Fukui: Well, they're a bunch of cunts*

Recruiter: <nervous laugh> Um, ok. I won't do any more banking contracts then.

Fukui: Don't.

* For our women wonketeers, it's not nearly so sexist in the British idiom. A difference between US and British English. It's still very rude though.

Sparky_McGruff May 11, 2011 at 8:16 am

Cicadas are natures perfect cat toy. Big shiny wings, and they roll along the ground making loud buzzing sounds.

Sparky_McGruff May 11, 2011 at 8:23 am

It's not codetalkin'. It's authentic frontier gibberish.

DaRooster May 11, 2011 at 9:37 am

Mmmm… delicious.

UpFistTroll May 11, 2011 at 9:54 am

I just have to interject here and say that "Authentic Frontier Gibberish" sounds like a great name for a blog.

Negropolis May 12, 2011 at 1:10 am

"Authentic fronteir gibberish" is a phrase I'll use forever. Thank you for that.

bagofmice May 11, 2011 at 1:37 pm

Don't forget families and frats, brother.

bagofmice May 11, 2011 at 1:40 pm

Cunt Insult Upgrade.
'I would call them cunts, but that would imply a sense of depth and warmness."

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