Conservative Blog Creatures Accuse Obama of Destroying Ground Zero Flag

On Sunday, President Obama oversaw the only thing conservatives ever wanted to happen in the world: the death of Osama bin Laden. But accepting that the commander in chief of our nation's military could have a hand in this has threatened some major cognitive dissonance on the right, because doesn't that guy seem a little foreign and a lot liberal, thus unable to like the United States of America? Thankfully, ABC News' Jake Tapper mentioned something on Twitter about a flag being lowered yesterday evening at the World Trade Center site, which could only mean OBAMA WENT TO GROUND ZERO SO HE COULD BURN AMERICAN FLAGS, according to certain conservative bloggers who have a professional duty to misinterpret things.

Blogger Doug Ross, for one, wrote,"This administration and, by extension, the Democrat Party are now so thoroughly divorced from the history, traditions and morals of America that we might as well admit the Marxist left has executed a successful coup d'état on this Republic." His friend Michelle Malkin asked, "Does flying the American flag at Ground Zero now constitute 'spiking the football???'" This meme made it all the way to Matt Drudge, who ran the headline, "REPORT: Team Obama takes down US flag before Ground Zero event..."

As we all know, Obama was not allowed to go to the part of New York where Ground Zero is until this week because he was "controversial." But Obama was legally able to look at photos of Ground Zero, and once he saw there was a giant American flag there, he got angry and decided it had to come down. So Obama dug out bin Laden from where George W. Bush carefully packed him in a pile of Flintstones Push-Up Pops at the back of the White House freezer a decade ago, presented the corpse as new, and was given an all-access pass to Ground Zero. Once the magical gates opened to the terrorist attack wonderland, Obama made a beeline to the flag, ripped it down, and left, pushing crying 9/11 victim families out of the way, his objective finally accomplished.

And that's our week in review of how conservatives managed to avoid their emotions for the man who is now empirically their greatest hero, President Barack HUSSEIN Obama. [ Gawker ]