OUTSTANDING DEMOCRACY PERFORMER  2:17 pm May 6, 2011

Famous Progressive Scott Walker Declares ‘Employee Recognition Day’

by Jack Stuef


Uh oh, progressive governor Scott Walker would like to say “thank you” to the men and women who work in public service. That can’t be good. He wants you to send him the names, personal contact information, and places of work of certain state employees. So he’s finally finished those gas chambers he was working on, huh?

At first, we thought, nah, Scott Walker doesn’t want a list of all the best public employees in the state so he can put them under surveillance and fire them. He’s just doing this to make himself look less evil. When you go to the website, his website, that he mentions, there’s the video, but the nomination form is nowhere to be found.

But eventually we tracked the form down. Here’s what it looks like, after you’re supposed to give your contact information so he can put you down on an “in league with the workers” hit list or whatever:

Help us, Schindler!

Who would know the residential address and phone number of a state employee they randomly come across? Nobody. And look at the amount of space they give you for the “why does this person deserve to be recognized” box. That’s not enough for more than a word or two. This is being used for NEFARIOUS MEANS. Nice try, Scott Walker! We should all “nominate” Scott Walker for this “State Employee Who Isn’t a Corrosive Marxist Agent” award, and then his goons will mistakenly throw him in jail with the rest of the other “excellent” state employees when he declares martial law and suspends habeas corpus in approximately a month. [YouTube/Scott Walker]

 
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{ 184 comments }

CliveWarren May 6, 2011 at 2:21 pm

“why does this person deserve to be recognized box.”

He is Thug.

Mahousu May 6, 2011 at 3:10 pm

"He is Trig" might actually work.

horsedreamer_1 May 6, 2011 at 3:11 pm

T.H.U.G.L.I.F.E.

pinkocommi May 6, 2011 at 2:21 pm

If you keep really good records, the mass executions go so much more smoothly.

poncho_pilot May 6, 2011 at 2:32 pm

they should put in a call to IBM. do some pricing.

nounverb911 May 6, 2011 at 2:44 pm

They still have some of their German punch card readers in a warehouse somewhere.

poncho_pilot May 6, 2011 at 2:48 pm

originally manufactured by Die Bold. they changed their name to Diebold after the war.

nounverb911 May 6, 2011 at 2:49 pm

IBM, they worked both sides until the war.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IBM_and_the_Holocaus

tessiee May 6, 2011 at 7:45 pm

Mass executions? What mass executions?
*looks around innocently*
*scuffles toe of shoe on ground*
It's just some yellow stars, that's all.

Goonemeritus May 6, 2011 at 2:22 pm

"Arbeit Macht Frei"

mumbly_joe May 6, 2011 at 2:43 pm

öffentlichen Sektor arbeit macht frei

Goonemeritus May 6, 2011 at 2:50 pm

He’ll need a bigger gate.

Sue4466 May 6, 2011 at 2:23 pm

Why should my tax dollars go to special recognition for state employees? Fuck you Scott Walker and your pro-worker socialist ideas that state employees could ever be valuable for anything other than political scapegoats.

emmelemm May 6, 2011 at 2:23 pm

"It's a trap!"

horsedreamer_1 May 6, 2011 at 3:13 pm

I'm curious if Harley-riding RIL MURCAN Scott Walker enjoys his venti half-caf skim lattes from Starbucks as much as fellow RIL MURCAN John Mc Cain, in which case, it's a frap.

poncho_pilot May 6, 2011 at 2:23 pm

he just wants to send them flowers:
http://youtu.be/xKJGccSHas8

DemmeFatale May 6, 2011 at 7:19 pm

Dammit!
I had forgotten how awesome Arnold was in that role!

(Now, if only he hadn't been the Governator…)

SudsMcKenzie May 6, 2011 at 2:23 pm

If your a District Attorney aid don't bother, they all got pink slips yesterday.

Barb May 6, 2011 at 2:24 pm

There is no line to fill in for the name of this person's doctor so that they can be investigated too. Scott, you are starting to slip here.

I'm voting for Pedobear! "what's his or her position?" I think "filthy Sanchez" is his favorite.

ttommyunger May 12, 2011 at 11:20 am

I think that's "Dirty Sanchez" unless you know a new wrinkle for this old fav., Barb.

CliveWarren May 6, 2011 at 2:25 pm

Look at all those Koch pics behind him. That puts my "portfolio" of "classy pictures" to shame.

Arken May 6, 2011 at 2:33 pm

I try to avoid looking at koch pictures.

Lascauxcaveman May 6, 2011 at 2:40 pm

Speaking of the Kochs, there's no reason we can't make a bunch of false submissions under their names and addresses. And all the other friends, relatives and business associates of Gov Scott.

littlebigdaddy May 6, 2011 at 2:25 pm

OK, workers to Scott Dilweed: Fuck You. With one of those barbed Polynesian fishing hooks.

deanbooth May 6, 2011 at 2:26 pm

why does this person deserve to be recognized

Not Scott Walker

CliveWarren May 6, 2011 at 2:27 pm

That tie clip is definitely from the Donald Trump line of accessories…

Extemporanus May 6, 2011 at 2:31 pm

I'm really diggin' the whole urine-hued tie thing that the Republicans have goin' on lately.

OneDollarJuana May 6, 2011 at 2:53 pm

Hides the drips.

tessiee May 6, 2011 at 7:48 pm

I didn't notice until you pointed it out (heh, you see what I did there?), but yeah, what's with the yellow paisley tie? Are 80s fashions coming back or something?
*hoping for big hair and shoulder pads*

MrFizzy May 6, 2011 at 2:27 pm

What's wrong with that? Hitler had Jew recognition days.

Arken May 6, 2011 at 2:34 pm

And he gave them all gold stars to show how well they were doing.

MrFizzy May 6, 2011 at 2:37 pm

first LOL of the week – excellent

metamarcisf May 6, 2011 at 2:43 pm

And the Nazis made the Jews wear pieces of flair!

user-of-owls May 6, 2011 at 3:14 pm

They called it Tre-Bling-Ka.

Such adorable fops.

mourningnmerica May 6, 2011 at 5:24 pm

Oh, man…..

Thurman Munster IV May 6, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Hey Walker! Smell my Dairy Air,

/s/ Wisconsin

Extemporanus May 6, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Here's something that will fit in that box:

8====D

user-of-owls May 6, 2011 at 3:16 pm

Now that's what I call thinking inside the box! Yet, a shovel? I assume that's for staving in someone's skull, but am unsure about which player is the stavee.

Extemporanus May 6, 2011 at 4:17 pm

A spade's too big.

user-of-owls May 6, 2011 at 4:36 pm

So a spic, a dago and a mick walk into a box….

ManchuCandidate May 6, 2011 at 2:31 pm

In honor of this day, Scott would personally like to piss in every coffee maker in the capital to show his appreciation for you leaches on respectable people (who are all narcissistic wingnutty billionaires with a persecution complex.)

Also, you will also be sent the new Hallmark Card, the "Go Fuck yourself" card made from recycled toilet paper and garbage.

axmxz May 6, 2011 at 2:31 pm

Name (Last/First/Middle inital): Walker Scott K.
In which Department is s/he employed?: Gau Wisconsin-Mittelwesten
What is his/her position?: Gauleiter
How long have they worked for the State of Wisconsin?: Too long.
Why does this person deserve to be recognize as an Outstanding State Employee: The state employees standing out by his front door are about to tell him in detail.

CrankyLttlCamperette May 6, 2011 at 3:11 pm

With a pitchfork.

tessiee May 6, 2011 at 7:50 pm

And by "tell", we mean, "beat the shit out of".

johnnyzhivago May 6, 2011 at 2:32 pm

First prize is lunch with the Governor.

Second prize is two lunches with the Governor.

Thurman Munster IV May 6, 2011 at 2:38 pm

Losing lunch with the Governor is more likely

arihaya May 6, 2011 at 3:08 pm

you mean the winner will be the lunch right?

horsedreamer_1 May 6, 2011 at 3:15 pm

Walker is the Last King of Scottland.

Moonbat May 6, 2011 at 3:17 pm

Third prize is, you're fired.

PabaBritannica May 6, 2011 at 2:32 pm

Obviously a good move Scott! I mean, look at the top rated comment so far:

"Go fuck yourself Walker."

mookwrthwilson May 6, 2011 at 2:39 pm

one calling him a Kochsucker…I have to hand it to Walker, at least he's not a fraidy cat who turns off the comments.

GOPCrusher May 6, 2011 at 5:04 pm

The peasants are revolting!

I'll say. They stink on ice!

johnnyzhivago May 6, 2011 at 2:33 pm

We used to call these kind of stupid awards the "chunk-o-wood"

poncho_pilot May 6, 2011 at 2:43 pm

"chunk-o-wood" is exactly what Walker is trying to give state employees in WI. with no Murphy's Oil, either.

Gopherit May 6, 2011 at 2:33 pm

Let's see. His examples are a cop, a clerk who gives out hunting permits, and a gladhanding asshole from the Wisconsin Commerce Department. Way to mend, fences, there, Walker. We know the teachers are commie leeches…..so is anyone who works with kids or the poor. BOOTSTRAPS.

This is the worst porno ever. I don't know how he can keep talking with all of that Koch in his mouth.

JackDempsey1 May 6, 2011 at 2:34 pm

Hey Badgers. Please—–
Do not nominate anyone whose job involves
1. loungewear
2. a significant amount of time out of Jackboots

mookwrthwilson May 6, 2011 at 2:34 pm

I flagged the video as promoting terrorism.

horsedreamer_1 May 6, 2011 at 3:15 pm

Perfect.

edgydrifter May 6, 2011 at 2:36 pm

Pol Pot was also very eager to recognize good teachers and civil servants.

GOPCrusher May 6, 2011 at 5:05 pm

So was Mao Tse Tung.

SayItWithWookies May 6, 2011 at 2:36 pm

I think Wisconsin's state employees would agree that Scott's done enough for them already.

Lucidamente1 May 6, 2011 at 2:37 pm

Well, Walmart does have an employee of the month prize.

Monsieur_Grumpe May 6, 2011 at 2:40 pm

RIP Irony.
Dick head

PuckStopsHere May 6, 2011 at 2:40 pm

I'd like to nominate all of 'em at badgerbadgerbadger.com. (Except for the snake, of course).

metamarcisf May 6, 2011 at 2:42 pm

You know who I'm gonna nominate?

Arken May 6, 2011 at 2:44 pm

Yes. Yes I do.

nounverb911 May 6, 2011 at 2:46 pm

The Koch Brothers?

LabRodent May 6, 2011 at 2:46 pm

Ralph Malph?

metamarcisf May 6, 2011 at 3:26 pm

Yes, that's it!

nounverb911 May 6, 2011 at 2:46 pm

Dr. Mengele?

memzilla May 6, 2011 at 2:59 pm

Selma and Patty Bouvier?

horsedreamer_1 May 6, 2011 at 3:17 pm

Steve Miller, for Meritorious Achievement in Punnery?
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=steve%20

natl_indecency_cmdr May 6, 2011 at 3:18 pm

rebecca kleefisch?

SorosBot May 6, 2011 at 3:29 pm

Ron Swanson?

Wait, he's Indiana.

GOPCrusher May 6, 2011 at 5:07 pm

Red Foreman?

billy_reuben May 9, 2011 at 8:37 am

Ed Gein?

SmutBoffin May 6, 2011 at 2:44 pm

The fact that Walker left comments enabled is pretty hilarious. He really feeds off of everyone's dislike, doesn't he?

Schmannnity May 6, 2011 at 2:45 pm

Won't spring for a family picture larger that 4 x 6. What a dick.

natl_indecency_cmdr May 6, 2011 at 3:19 pm

well, he *likes* his family but doesn't, you know, *like* like them.

neiltheblaze May 6, 2011 at 2:45 pm

Once they've collected the submissions, there's going to be a raffle. The winner gets the complete works of Ayn Rand, bound in human skin.

SmutBoffin May 6, 2011 at 2:48 pm

The post-award-ceremony reception will feature cocktails made FROM THE BLOOD AND SWEAT OF WORKERS.

And mini corn dogs.

horsedreamer_1 May 6, 2011 at 3:17 pm

From the Ed Gein Smokehouse.

anniegetyerfun May 6, 2011 at 5:14 pm

Yum, corndogs!

SorosBot May 6, 2011 at 2:46 pm

I think I'll fill some of these out, and nominate such state employees as Richard Head, Hugh Jass and Mike Hunt.

LabRodent May 6, 2011 at 2:48 pm

Amanda Huginkiss and Jack Mehoff work for the state also.

FNMA May 6, 2011 at 2:49 pm

Mr. Jablome has already been nominated, by the way.

LabRodent May 6, 2011 at 2:51 pm

Juan?

TsunamiAli May 6, 2011 at 2:53 pm

I thought it was Heywood.

LabRodent May 6, 2011 at 2:57 pm

Heywood got LAID off.

elviouslyqueer May 6, 2011 at 3:21 pm

Don't forget Sofonda Kochs, Bagger Bigdix, Hugh Janus, Iona Hotkoch, Anita Bleauxjawb, and Rink Lee Dix.

Schmannnity May 6, 2011 at 4:15 pm

Heywood Jablowme

Big dick Smoker

Fonda Cox

SorosBot May 6, 2011 at 4:43 pm

"Cox" is the perfect name for this. Sue King-Cox.

tessiee May 6, 2011 at 7:55 pm

I.C. Weiner

JoshuaNorton May 6, 2011 at 2:47 pm

I nominate the person that gives him that dipshit Gumby haircut. There must be a reason he thinks it looks cool to have one side of his head bulge out further than the other, but it completely escapes me.

elviouslyqueer May 6, 2011 at 3:09 pm

Oh please, I recognize that 'do. It's the "mussed up after being pushed face-first into David Koch's crotch."

Rotundo_ May 6, 2011 at 5:27 pm

His whole head is distorted, no doubt from one hell of a rough birth. He must have been Moms' first, and she did *not* have childbearing hips or the pelvic girdle that makes them. Everyone has a small amount of asymmetry to their face, Scooter just has a few dozen people's worth of asymmetry.

tessiee May 6, 2011 at 7:56 pm

The haircut is symmetrical, it's his head that's lopsided.

RadioGroundZero May 6, 2011 at 2:47 pm

C'mon guys, this is Middle Management 101: Fluff 'em before you fuck'em.
Next week: Metrics.

memzilla May 6, 2011 at 3:36 pm

Followed by Performance Improvement Plans, a/k/a Documentation Required to Deny Severance Pay to Your Downsized Employees.

HuddledMass May 6, 2011 at 3:54 pm

Uh-oh. There has been a recent outbreak, a rash, if you will, of Metrics at my workplace.

Now I'm scared.

RadioGroundZero May 6, 2011 at 4:52 pm

Oh my HuddledMass, yearn to be free. I'm still bleeding from the metrics knife. Someday, I would like to tell the whole story, but the end result is my contempt for management theories du juor.

GOPCrusher May 6, 2011 at 5:17 pm

There are a lot of closed facilities due to the introduction of Metrics.

SudsMcKenzie May 6, 2011 at 2:50 pm

I'm eating Mexican tonight, and I will celebrate Scott Walker Appreciation day tomorrow with my morning dump.

OneDollarJuana May 6, 2011 at 3:32 pm

If I'm lucky I'm eating out a Mexican tonight, too. Oops, I see what you meant.

elviouslyqueer May 6, 2011 at 2:50 pm

As much as I hate to say it, there is some serious gayface going on in Walker's vid. See Scott, we told you kochsucking has consequences!

SmutBoffin May 6, 2011 at 2:57 pm

Hmmmm, I guess I can see it. The haircut, however, screams "ponderous hetero".

Limeylizzie May 6, 2011 at 3:16 pm

But this Wisconsinite makes up for that squint-eyed pratt.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXpOA3jPC04&fe

Dudleydidwrong May 7, 2011 at 10:12 pm

If you gotta believe in god/gods, that's an argument that I hope will at least cause a few wingnut legislators to think…Is that asking for too much? Alas, yes. But the guy tried. He doesn't make up for the squint-eyed pratt, however, as the pratt happens to be governor who rides around in a Koch pocket.

memzilla May 6, 2011 at 2:52 pm

Would you like Arbeit Macht Freis with that order of lightly salted poison rat dicks*, Governor?

*(leicht gesalzen Rattengift Schwänze)

Limeylizzie May 6, 2011 at 3:20 pm

Uh..oh…I am aroused and you may be a woman,if so, could we play "Ilsa -She-Wolf of the SS"? If a man, we can just do the regular plucky British spy encounters evil, but handsome SS man while she is en route to the Jewish partisans in the forest.

memzilla May 6, 2011 at 3:27 pm

Option B, plz. And it wouldn't surprise me if three of Walker's advisers were named Ritterkreuz, Giftgas, and Totenkopf.

tessiee May 6, 2011 at 7:59 pm

Do you guys have the Schvan's Ice Cream truck where you live? They have a picture of a swan on the side, but it still makes me snicker.

samsuncle May 6, 2011 at 2:58 pm

Scott left out the most important question of all…..RACE.

Lionel[redacted]Esq May 6, 2011 at 3:01 pm

Walker: Ah hello everyone. Achtung. My name is Scott. Walker, and I'm the Governor of Wisconsin. [applause] Ah thank you, thank you. I'm happy to see that all of you.were affected by the Socialist Unions like I was. Now, we all know why we're here, and I believe we all what needs to be done.

But, I think it's best we don't talk out loud about it until we have most of them on the trains heading to the camps. [the guests fall silent]

Jack: Folks, I just wanna interrupt for a second and say how remarkable it is that this Governor brought us all together. The Tea Party is causing a revolution of progressivism, and we owe Scott Walker and the Koch Brothers our thanks.

[the crowd voices its approval]

Walker: [bows a few times] Thank you, thank you very much. Now, in order to do what we [his face turns ugly] all know needs to be done, we are first going to need more support. I think we should all go out and identify at least one government employee to be recognized, if you know what I mean.

Yes, and then we can begin the cleansing, if you know what I mean.

Dudleydidwrong May 7, 2011 at 10:14 pm

Did this occur at Wansee, Wisconsin?

aguacatero May 6, 2011 at 3:01 pm

"… Or maybe it was a helpful state environmental or public health official, who agreed to look the other way when you dumped industrial chemicals in the local stream, saving your small business thousands in disposal costs."

Ducksworthy May 6, 2011 at 3:02 pm

Next up for Scottie, readings from the alien classic, To Serve Man.

memzilla May 6, 2011 at 3:02 pm

Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Arschloch!

/fixed

user-of-owls May 6, 2011 at 3:02 pm

Well of course he needs an Employee Recognition Day.

"Walker, this is what a Worker looks like."

*points to Walker's cunt*

"And that, Worker, is where to aim your state-issued steel toed-boot."

natl_indecency_cmdr May 6, 2011 at 3:10 pm

excuse me. sorry about this. but every time i see an image of goober scooter up there i have to do something:

fuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoulittlefuckingpieceofshitfuckinglittletoolfucker.

that is all. thank you for your time.

SmutBoffin May 6, 2011 at 3:20 pm

Looks like we got another case of "Walker Tourettes", here. I prescribe a beer and a shot.

natl_indecency_cmdr May 6, 2011 at 6:47 pm

thanks! it helped.

goddamn fuckin little fucker fuckin fuck fucker

oh boy, this is a bad one. beer here!

fuckin little weasel face fuckface shit kochfuck shiteatin fuck

baconzgood May 6, 2011 at 3:11 pm

"thank you"="Fuck you" from Scott Walker.

user-of-owls May 6, 2011 at 3:12 pm

Another progressive reform:

OLD: Worker and Parasite
NEW: Worker is Parasite

poncho_pilot May 6, 2011 at 3:13 pm

und ein tote russische Hündin, sie alle zu knechten: Ayn Rand.

horsedreamer_1 May 6, 2011 at 3:15 pm

Or even someone born there, supposedly.

DahBoner May 6, 2011 at 3:19 pm

You know it's going to be one mean awards ceremony, when they strip you naked and rip out your gold fillings on the way into the "meeting"…

Schmannnity May 6, 2011 at 3:31 pm

Hab keine angst. Alles ist Klar. Gehen wir jehzt! Snell! Snell!

Thurman Munster IV May 6, 2011 at 3:48 pm

But Colonel Valker, I know nussink!

Schmannnity May 6, 2011 at 3:59 pm

In der Kooler.

KenLayIsAlive May 6, 2011 at 3:19 pm

What a coincidence, I just finished declaring this "Downfist Troll Recognition Week" in my apartment.

baconzgood May 6, 2011 at 3:21 pm

Give us the link for the personal contact information. This is a good way to snark on Scott.

user-of-owls May 6, 2011 at 3:22 pm

I heard that when he's around his trusted circle of lickspittles, he wows the crowd with a dead-on impersonation of those 1932 deco Felix the Cat Clocks, moving his soulless eyes back and forth and waggling his peen in time.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/9

natl_indecency_cmdr May 6, 2011 at 3:25 pm

i'm never not going to think of this now. i think.

BZ1 May 6, 2011 at 3:27 pm

Here's the scenario, you run into a nice, well-meaning government employee and you interrogate him/her to get this information, making sure that you fill in the “why does this person deserve to be recognized as an outstanding state employee” in the tiny little box…

sportshort May 6, 2011 at 3:31 pm

Waaah! Everybody leave Scott Walker alooooooooooooooone! Waah!

Oh wait.

That's Brittney. Leave Brittney alone.

Screw Scott Walker with a virus infested devil's club. Sorry.

DaRooster May 6, 2011 at 3:34 pm

"Why does this person deserve to be recognized…"

Cause they are stuck in a STATE job in YOUR state… fairly simple to fill out that part

HogeyeGrex May 6, 2011 at 3:37 pm

Yes, it's very important to recognize them. Otherwise the bus they're being thrown under might bend an axle by going too fast.

I suggest painting them with broad yellow stripes.

Nopantsmcgee May 6, 2011 at 3:37 pm

If the comments on the youtubepage are any indication at all, Scott Walker is going to recalled from the entire Human Species.

KeepFnThatChicken May 6, 2011 at 3:39 pm

Mr. Walker:

Your necktie is shaped like my taint. Please lick it.

Regards,
Everyone

genxr May 6, 2011 at 3:53 pm

Nobody deserves this award more than Scott Walker. I'll ask Anonymous to get right on that.

xsluggo May 6, 2011 at 3:56 pm

Waylon Smithers
Chief Clancy Wiggum
Snowball

fuflans May 6, 2011 at 4:27 pm

i am tots doing that.

and so not watching.

Dudleydidwrong May 7, 2011 at 10:30 pm

As of this post the score: 20 Like 894 Dislike. I can't believe that there are twenty people in Wisconsin who like that dungbreath. Oh, wait. The whole Koch Klan must have had their computers running Scotthole's video and followed their leader's order to "Like or else!"

fuflans May 6, 2011 at 4:28 pm

wait! wisconsin has state workers???

socialists.

fuflans May 6, 2011 at 4:31 pm

rick scott. scott walker. what's up with these union bashing koch tools being partly named 'scott'?

i had a cousin named scott and he was very nice.

SorosBot May 6, 2011 at 4:42 pm

What about Scott Evil? He wasn't very nice.

tessiee May 6, 2011 at 8:04 pm

No, but he was played by Seth Green, who I like, so there's that.

mavenmaven May 6, 2011 at 4:56 pm

Scott Walker announced that Pavlik Morozov was in charge of handling these Worker's reports.

lochnessmonster May 6, 2011 at 5:08 pm

If that is a fill-in PDF form they only left enough space to put about three letters in each box. No one will ever know who was nominated because you won't be able to read it.

BTW why would I know how long someone worked as a public worker or their address unless I know them personally? Or, are WI workers required to post all their personal information so the general public has access?

anniegetyerfun May 6, 2011 at 5:12 pm

Oh, that's his tie! For a second there, I thought Walker was going to shove a corn cob up his ass on camera.

mourningnmerica May 6, 2011 at 5:27 pm

I don't really have any thing new to add. I just wanted to join my voice in with the rest of us who want Governor Walker to choke to death on his own vomit.

tessiee May 6, 2011 at 8:04 pm

Or anybody's vomit, really.

HuddledMass May 9, 2011 at 10:02 am

That's the spirit. Let us not be rigid in our views re: Scott-Walker-vomit-choking.

natl_indecency_cmdr May 6, 2011 at 6:57 pm

good news, we're getting the [rallying] band back together! come on over! we can almost guarantee it won't be snowing. much.
http://www.defendwisconsin.org/2011/05/06/may-14-

user-of-owls May 6, 2011 at 7:29 pm

And we'll jolly well give old Johnny Union Busting Goons a good drubbing, I daresay!*

*with apologies to Doktor Zoom.

tessiee May 6, 2011 at 7:43 pm

You guys, this is a true story, but you have to promise NOT to tell Scott Walker, OK?
OK.
As you probably all know, the South has been notoriously labor-unfriendly since Civil War days. When I worked for the State of North Carolina, State employees were expressly forbidden to join or form any kind of union. Since I lived in a college town, there was a constant influx of competition for jobs (faculty spouses, work-study students, etc.) and really, nowhere else to work but the textile mills, so as a result, they paid us crap (some full-time employees actually made BELOW the poverty level), and treated us about half a step above slave labor, "plenty more where that one came from".

One day, rumor went around that they were going to have some kind of "employee recognition". As the day grew closer, we speculated on what it could be: Money? Benefits? Something unsuspected?

It was something unsuspected, all right (I hope you guys are all sitting down for this, btw): Each of us got a small, deli-type plastic tupperware thing containing about 4 oz. of pasta salad. Just a regular old pasta salad from the employee cafeteria.

For months after that, when somebody in my office did something trivial, but good, e.g., get the balled-up piece of paper into the wastebasket on the first throw, we'd applaud sarcastically and say, "Give that man a pasta salad!"

Good times, good times.

tessiee May 6, 2011 at 7:51 pm

But who got the Scott Walker Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence?

tessiee May 6, 2011 at 7:52 pm

Silly rodent, Hawaii isn't a state!

tessiee May 6, 2011 at 7:53 pm

OK, that made me laugh and cringe simultaneously.

GodShammgod May 6, 2011 at 11:18 pm

I hope Scott Walker gets every possible type of cancer imaginable. And somehow lives for 50 more years.

Negropolis May 7, 2011 at 12:49 am

**black guy talking during the movie at a theater**

Don't go in their, yo. It's a TARP!

Dr_pangloss May 7, 2011 at 10:43 am

"Thank you Public Employees for not stringing me up and setting me on fire for being a gigantic Douchebag, Thanks."

HuddledMass May 7, 2011 at 2:56 pm

As of right now Walker's YouTube has 20 likes and 1,008 dislikes. The internet has spoken.

zhubajie May 9, 2011 at 12:31 am

Does he read the comments? I doubt it, somehow.

WilliamHTaft May 8, 2011 at 2:35 am

It doesn't matter how increasingly evil he gets, motherfucker always looks just as dumb as the last time I saw him.

There's a special place in Hell for people who devote their lives to taking away the rights of others. Jk, Hell isn't real. Damn.

NorthStarSpanx May 8, 2011 at 10:35 am

They named names?

ttommyunger May 12, 2011 at 3:05 pm

How does a wall-eyed little weasel like this get elected to anyfuckingthing? Dubya I can almost understand, what with the diabolically brilliant demons behind him and the Millions in cash; but Governor of Minnesota? I cannot grasp it. Are people that stupid? I hate myself for asking that.

Schmannnity May 6, 2011 at 3:36 pm

Life sucks and then you die. Sorry, was that a rhetorical question?

Schmannnity May 6, 2011 at 4:18 pm

Wow. Welcome downfist diaspora.

ttommyunger May 11, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Oh well, at least I haven't had to spend one minute as Scott Walker.

Nopantsmcgee May 6, 2011 at 3:39 pm

How? Because Pouty-pants Democrats and Libruls sat out the election to teach Obama and the Dems a lesson.

Wonder how that 'lesson' is working out for them?

GOPCrusher May 6, 2011 at 5:25 pm

Well, one would hope that the lesson of the time period of 2001-2006 would have been enough for them, but obviously not.
Perhaps now, they will have learned that if you act all pissy because you don't get you wish granted, things can be much worse.

ttommyunger May 11, 2011 at 4:11 pm

Man, that is so fucking stupid even I couldn't imagine that, and I can imagine Unicorns, the tooth fairy and honest politicians.

Nopantsmcgee May 12, 2011 at 10:47 am

What is?

mausgeo May 6, 2011 at 3:56 pm

How do you lower the bar from Jesse Ventura? Mission accomplished.

ttommyunger May 11, 2011 at 4:11 pm

But, but, Jesse admitted being an idiot. This assclown tries to come off as a normal person.

greenloner May 8, 2011 at 5:56 am

pls forgive the quibble but . . . Scott is gov. of Wisconsin

comrad_darkness May 8, 2011 at 8:09 pm

And your point is?

;-)

ttommyunger May 11, 2011 at 4:27 pm

I wasn't too bright when I was a young man and now at 70 I'm almost completely fucked in the head. Thanks for the quibble, I need all the help I can get.

zhubajie May 9, 2011 at 12:28 am

As I recall, the vote was split 4-5 ways. What I want to know is, how come he hasn't been recalled yet?

ttommyunger May 11, 2011 at 4:38 pm

There may be some law requiring a two-year grace period or some such. I hope it will be forthcoming. I think we're seeing a novel strategy here of putting up straw man candidates a la Alvin Green just to fragment voter support.

poncho_pilot May 6, 2011 at 3:05 pm

i know. i just wanted to make a terribly obscure reference to Dr. Strangelove when i realized Diebold sounded a little too German to me.

TsunamiAli May 6, 2011 at 4:02 pm

I see what you did there.

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