EXTRA CHEESE  12:26 pm May 6, 2011

Republican Voters Apparently Really, Really Like Herman Cain

by Jack Stuef

You find this funny, Reagan portrait? Yeah, it's pretty funny.Before we turned off the teevee after that terrible debate last night, the Republican Party’s appointed Divider, Frank Luntz, was doing what he always does, standing in front of the whitest people he could find in a few hours, asking them questions to find out how best to make people like this think their political opponents aren’t human beings, much less American. But before he could get into that, he had to allow this restless group of people to express their sudden yet profound commitment to do whatever Herman Cain, the next president of the United States, says. He didn’t just win the debate. He mopped the floor with them all. And it makes absolutely no sense.

We watched this debate too. Herman Cain didn’t say anything special. He sounded like pretty much any other Republican, though his grasp of the issues was a little weak at times. But that’s to be expected. The man’s title on the chyron was “FORMER CEO OF GODFATHER’S PIZZA.”

So what does this all mean? Americans love pizza, obviously, and would love to elect it president. Unfortunately, as much as everyone loves the Constitution, it says pizza is not eligible for the office. So Americans will just have to settle for electing pizza’s friend, Herman Cain.

Also: this was a sample of white South Carolina Republicans. Do they think showing enthusiasm for the token black guy after the first, pointless debate will make up for all the things their state has done to black people over the years? Probably. [YouTube]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 299 comments }

ablington May 6, 2011 at 12:27 pm

What. The. Fuck. Does. T-PAW. Have. To. Do. TO GET YOU MOFOS TO NOTICE HOW AWESOME HE IS???

Barb May 6, 2011 at 12:29 pm

I dunno, capture Bin Laden?

RadioGroundZero May 6, 2011 at 1:39 pm

Or at least show the gruesome photos.

Chet Kincaid May 6, 2011 at 2:10 pm

Awesome.

Mahousu May 6, 2011 at 12:30 pm

Lend out his wife? Americans like adultery almost as much as they like pizza.

SorosBot May 6, 2011 at 12:36 pm

Destroy another bridge?

Boojum_Reborn May 6, 2011 at 12:38 pm

Die?

poncho_pilot May 6, 2011 at 12:46 pm

"Who. The. Fuck. Does. T-PAW. Have. To. Blow. TO GET YOU MOFOS TO NOTICE HOW AWESOME HE IS???"

fixed. the answer is all of them. but it still wouldn't help.

iburl May 6, 2011 at 12:47 pm

Record a track with T-Pain?

Gleem_McShineys May 6, 2011 at 1:52 pm

Or the other incredible automagical harmonization machine, T-Palin

starfanglednut May 6, 2011 at 11:17 pm

Aaaaaaaaaaaah! Help meeeeee!

James Michael Curley May 6, 2011 at 2:03 pm

Snort a track and he may be more interesting.

elviouslyqueer May 6, 2011 at 12:49 pm

Introduce Rick Santorum to the joys of an electric cow prod?

kissawookiee May 6, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Dive to the bottom of the sea to get proof-of-death pictures?

riverside68 May 6, 2011 at 1:14 pm

photo evidence of his fully erect awesomeness or GTFO. (Preferably in a mirror with his face and taken by him.)

Okay maybe a sex tape with a person, place or thing of his choice, also.

How about a drag duet with 9/11 Rudy?

user-of-owls May 6, 2011 at 1:37 pm

Fog a mirror under his nose?

Chet Kincaid May 6, 2011 at 2:17 pm

Nice! I am reminded of a certain SCTV sketch about Perry Como:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z84AYN6_iUY

Not_So_Much May 6, 2011 at 1:37 pm

Make pizza?

Wadisay May 6, 2011 at 1:40 pm

Pander harder.

Clancy_Pants May 6, 2011 at 1:46 pm

Show us his bottled fetus collection. Or was that Santorum? Shit the dude is hosed.

MinAgain May 6, 2011 at 1:48 pm

Shoot something from a helicopter.

Eve8Apples May 6, 2011 at 2:09 pm

Have a three way with Palin and Bachmann, record a video and put it on the intertubez. Oh, and send everyone a pizza to enjoy while watching his video.

HELisforHEL May 6, 2011 at 4:20 pm

Sadly that would probably work.

Monsieur_Grumpe May 6, 2011 at 3:33 pm

Lower his eyeball blinking rate to something below 17538BPM. I only watched 3 minutes and the guy was making my eyes water.

zhubajie May 7, 2011 at 2:15 am

Wrassle both Jesse Ventura and Jonathon the Impaler, and win! Fair!

billy_reuben May 7, 2011 at 6:10 am

Commit seppuku?
Dowse himself with gasoline and light himself on fire?
Win a one-man rat poison eating contest?

MarcelleMarceau May 8, 2011 at 9:26 pm

Pose for a centerfold shot with one hand shielding his manly bits?

Badonkadonkette May 6, 2011 at 12:28 pm

And it makes absolutely no sense.

You know who else didn't make sense?

_DA May 6, 2011 at 12:31 pm

That's right, Adolf Hitler.

nounverb911 May 6, 2011 at 12:31 pm

Donald Trump? Was the question sense or cents?

Sharkey May 6, 2011 at 12:47 pm

Scents.

Preferred Customer May 6, 2011 at 12:59 pm

I suspect he makes scents. I know with an overwhelming moral certitude that I never want to get close enough to find out.

techmom May 6, 2011 at 2:14 pm

But the scent of pizza cooking in a wood fired oven is heavenly!

SexySmurf May 6, 2011 at 12:31 pm

The Talking Heads?

Lascauxcaveman May 6, 2011 at 1:11 pm

They did, but then they stopped.

Schmannnity May 6, 2011 at 12:32 pm

Foster Brooks?

OneDollarJuana May 6, 2011 at 3:37 pm

Professor Irwin Corey.

fuflans May 6, 2011 at 12:33 pm

the entire 2012 republican primary season.

nounverb911 May 6, 2011 at 12:38 pm

The entire republican party?

TanzbodenKoenig May 6, 2011 at 12:34 pm

The guy who sang "La Bamba?"

Monsieur_Grumpe May 6, 2011 at 3:34 pm

I was thinking Louie Louie.

poncho_pilot May 6, 2011 at 12:47 pm

Hugo Ball?

elviouslyqueer May 6, 2011 at 12:52 pm

All of them, Katie.

user-of-owls May 6, 2011 at 1:40 pm

Pliny the Younger? Nothing but carved gibberish, I tell you what.

Chet Kincaid May 6, 2011 at 2:23 pm

Boomhauer?

Chet Kincaid May 6, 2011 at 2:55 pm

Dangolecheetofingereddisabilitysuckin-candyasscowarddownfister-kissmyblackass.

mumbly_joe May 6, 2011 at 3:01 pm

Johnnie Cochran?

GOPCrusher May 6, 2011 at 3:39 pm

Andy Kaufman?

SorosBot May 6, 2011 at 12:28 pm

"Former CEO" should be an immediate disqualification for any political office, whatever comes after that.

Chillwaver May 6, 2011 at 1:10 pm

"I guess 'Former CEO' is sort of like a 'Former Community Organizer,' except that you have actual responsibilities."

EDIT: NEGATIVE PEE's? WTF??? Please tell me that we have a downfisting troll meteor shower and not fellow Wonkeratti not picking up on the snark!

Sparky_McGruff May 6, 2011 at 2:42 pm

Serious responsibilities. After all, a "Community Organizer" can't purchase a company with massive amounts of junk bonds, then offshore manufacturing, drain the cash reserves to give the board members a huge bonus, and raid the pension fund to finance their blow habit.

HELisforHEL May 6, 2011 at 4:26 pm

And have nothing but yes-men at their beck & call. And pack management jobs with their relatives. And destroy a company then leave on a golden pillowy parachute of millions, despite their obvious incompetence.
And get a job doing it all again somewhere else.

Yeah, this orgasmic deification of Business Professionals is fuckin' laughable.

Swampgas_Man May 6, 2011 at 5:09 pm

Hey now, I'd vote for the former CEO of Ben&Jerry's!

Beck_is_Trig May 7, 2011 at 12:14 am

I was just thinking that…you know, if someone had the job title as "former comintern" chief they'd probably be d'qued from office because ya know…communism and stuff. It's the same line of thinking with a CEO…they run their companies like fucking DICTATORSHIPS; in fact, that's the preferred management style. So personally, I think coming from that world to democracy is…not desireable for Democracy. At all.

zhubajie May 7, 2011 at 2:18 am

Maybe required to wear scarlet CEO badge?

politics_nerd May 6, 2011 at 12:28 pm

actual pizza would give the rest of the 'pub field a good run for their money. Schwarzenegger too. Well, I can dream cant I?!

Ducksworthy May 6, 2011 at 2:41 pm

Meatwad for Prezit!

politics_nerd May 6, 2011 at 6:04 pm

its speeld MEETWOD. with the umlaut, pls tia.

Beck_is_Trig May 7, 2011 at 12:17 am

Oh come on, I've seen every one of these repubs in action…pizza would destroy them, especially amongst teabaggers. Imagine how much attention T-Paw's latest enormous flip-flop would get at a debate while thousands of obese white people stared at a slice with bacon and pig intestine on top? I don't think it would carry the presidency because Barry would crush it with his giant balls or Newt Gingrich, it's running mate would get hungry and eat it. But pizza would definitely replace Reagan on the teabagger pantheon.

nounverb911 May 6, 2011 at 12:30 pm

Did they remember to tip the pizza delivery man?

JustPixelz May 6, 2011 at 1:15 pm

At one point he was advocating the so-called FAIR tax — a national sales tax, with a pre-bate for "necessities". He said tax would be 23%, but there's some voodoo math involved in that.

Anyway, a 23% tax on pizza? Kinda makes you think about where and how spending patterns would change. Especially for people who lose their mortgage and property tax deductions!

Sparky_McGruff May 6, 2011 at 5:30 pm

'a national sales tax, with a pre-bate for "necessities"' —

I dunno… That sounds pretty damn socialist to me.

102415 May 7, 2011 at 9:28 pm

"Did they remember to tip the pizza delivery man? "
For what???!!!!! Every lazy pos looking for a handout!!!!! Get a job.

BTWBFDIMHO May 6, 2011 at 12:30 pm

Cheeseus Christ!!

jqheywood May 6, 2011 at 2:20 pm

Or from Pizza Hut:

Cheeseus Crust…now with Jeebus in the crust!

tessiee May 6, 2011 at 10:12 pm

Cheeses of Nazareth?

Badonkadonkette May 6, 2011 at 12:30 pm

Do they think showing enthusiasm for the token black guy after the first, pointless debate will make up for all the things their state has done to black people over the years?

In fairness to South Carolina Republicans – and Republicans everywhere – Herman Cain is actually a bigot who said he would absolutely discriminate against people on the basis of religion and not appoint Muslims to his Cabinet, because they "might support Sharia law." So in their minds, his bigoted paranoia probably makes up for him being black.

Arken May 6, 2011 at 12:45 pm

Don't be silly. Nothing makes up for being black. Herman Cain… Mark of Cain… coincidence?

Nothingisamiss May 6, 2011 at 1:09 pm

Many thumbs up for the mark of Cain reference, my friend!!!

And, also, too….nothing makes up for the fact that he's black. That's ridiculous.

Ruhe May 6, 2011 at 12:52 pm

Or it could be that even though they don't want another black president they assume that as the anti-Obama if Cain were elected he and Obama would both disappear in some sort of matter-anti-matter explosion thus leaving the rich white guy they put in as VP free to take over.

poncho_pilot May 6, 2011 at 1:05 pm

gamma ray photons, ftw.

emmelemm May 6, 2011 at 1:38 pm

That's pretty much how I figure it.

RadioGroundZero May 6, 2011 at 1:43 pm

some sort of matter-anti-matter explosion
It's the new black…on black crime.

starfanglednut May 6, 2011 at 11:23 pm

Upfist for clever physics reference.

Beck_is_Trig May 7, 2011 at 12:31 am

The problem is you're ascribing too much intellect to your average Republican voter. Those Southern shitbags won't elect Cain because then who can they expect to carry their bags at the next CCC/KKK mixer? These asswipes are as racist now as ever before, this whole thing is just some contrivance to try and pretend otherwise. How much do you want to bet that at least several wingnut radio-turds were offering up this as evidence against the NAACP's declarations, or anyone who's said the anti-Obama stuff has a racist tinge?

Naked_Bunny May 6, 2011 at 1:10 pm

Yeah, I've seen a few right-wing cheerleaders crowing that Republican support for the most openly racist of these loons means they're not racist, because he's black. Huh?

mumbly_joe May 6, 2011 at 1:26 pm

But… but… but it's not racism if you single out the same group, but use some other other, overlapping, category to talk about them!

That's why the "immigration debate" isn't motivated by racism, even though all the people agitating over it happen to still spend all their time complaining about how "immigrants" talk in Spanish too much and smell bad and do Mexican things. "Immigrant" isn't a race! And there's no conievable racial or ethnic group we could be singling out there!

"Islam" isn't a race! And so when we call an entire people who hail from a particular part of the globe inbred, innately violent, monkeys, it's not racist, because I said "muslim" instead of "aye-rab"!

Black might be a race, but "very very urban" isn't! So… etc.

Chet Kincaid May 6, 2011 at 2:36 pm

This is an example of the over- and mis-use of the word "racism." Bigotry, prejudice, and discrimination are not predicated solely or only on "race", but they are just as disgusting, illegal and immoral. Now that we have made "racism" the only bad "ism," assholes think they can skate if they shift their intolerance over a little bit.

mumbly_joe May 6, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Well, sure. And there's plenty of times where the appropriate response is, "well, no, it doesn't make you a racist, but yer definitely still a full-on bigot!". But I was actually pointing specifically to racist speech that is definitely racialist in nature, but attempts to deflect the accusation by talking about race by proxy. When someone calls muslims a bunch of inbred monkeys with inborn personality defects, they are making a racialist claim, not merely a bigoted one.

And that's without even getting into the "immigration" issue- "immigrant isn't a race," my ass- you sure as hell aren't talking about the lily-white canadians when you bitch and moan about 'border security'. To say nothing of the fact that tons of "immigration reform" groups attracts white supremacists like flies to rotting meat.

Beck_is_Trig May 7, 2011 at 12:38 am

Absolutely…you can add classist to that description as well. Republicans and conservatives at the end of the day are social darwinists of the highest order with all the ugly racial antipathy, religious bigotry, homophobia, sexism and classism that characterizes the philosophy. The fact is, Herman Cain openly embraces one of those categories and Allen West another. This makes them willing particpants which so long as they know their place (and you know they do) means wingnuts can embrace them as "one of the good ones". Any person of color who doesn't ascribe to their social darwinism in all its ugliness, gets the open racism; that's the difference.

GOPCrusher May 6, 2011 at 3:44 pm

And I've heard several of these same people claim that it shouldn't be considered a hate crime to beat a Muslim to death, because Islam is a philosophy and not a religion.

OneDollarJuana May 6, 2011 at 3:49 pm

So it wouldn't be a hate crime to beat a Republican to death? Just asking.

BaldarTFlagass May 6, 2011 at 12:30 pm

No anchovies, please.

prommie May 6, 2011 at 12:34 pm

Don't want your wife turned into a bowling ball, huh?

GOPCrusher May 6, 2011 at 3:46 pm

Love stinks.

DashboardBuddha May 6, 2011 at 12:53 pm

No anchovies? Something's fishy here.

fuflans May 6, 2011 at 12:30 pm

no, actually those aren't the 29 most important people in america.

Fare la Volpe May 6, 2011 at 12:46 pm

Shhh, you're getting in the way of a good pandering.

poncho_pilot May 6, 2011 at 1:08 pm

if "America" was only comprised of the space inside that room and it's walls, they still wouldn't be the most important 29 people in America.

elviouslyqueer May 6, 2011 at 1:37 pm

Judging from all those pasty complexions, Luntz obviously meant to say "29 doughiest pantloads" in America.

Schmannnity May 6, 2011 at 12:31 pm

Former Godfather, instead of former Godfather's Pizza CEO for President. Then maybe these Republicans can ACT LIKE A MAN!

tessiee May 6, 2011 at 10:17 pm

"How is it that you spent so much time with me and turned out no better than this??"

ManchuCandidate May 6, 2011 at 12:32 pm

I guess Herman Cain's "Free Pizza for retards" promotion kicked it.

nounverb911 May 6, 2011 at 12:34 pm

That's a sure path to bankruptcy. Donald Trump approves.

dyedwool May 6, 2011 at 12:32 pm

"Godfather's"? "Pizza"? Sounds Italian. Needs moar long-form birf certificate!

This is good news for John McCain. Also.

Sharkey May 6, 2011 at 12:53 pm

Cain / McCain 2012!

OneDollarJuana May 6, 2011 at 12:33 pm

My question is: if you eat a lot of Thai garlic chili spice, should it make your penis burn? Or should I be worried?

BarryOPotter May 6, 2011 at 2:26 pm

Dude, never eat a Spice girl, specially the Thai one called "Garlic Chili." Delicious at first, but as you now know, mo problems down the road.

Ducksworthy May 6, 2011 at 2:51 pm

Ha Ha You were actually downfisted to a -1 at about 1:40 CDT. Obviously downfisters love eating Spice girls. Even the extra creamy ones.

BarryOPotter May 6, 2011 at 3:13 pm

Thanks, D! Looks like the DF patrol is scooting round the premises. I blame Our Man Riley – a spurned Andy Brightfart has loosed his Cheeto-stained mounds of rawr (he's unable to find any hounds of war) upon the Wonkette commentariat because Wags refuses to butt-hurt him…

Beck_is_Trig May 7, 2011 at 12:44 am

Brightfart? Is that what happens when you light a match next to a Beerfart? If so, then our nicknames for that chode have synergy.

GOPCrusher May 6, 2011 at 3:49 pm

Why were you using your penis to serve? Use a spoon or a fork like a human being!

Chillwaver May 6, 2011 at 12:33 pm

I've heard Godfather's Pizza tastes like Santorum.

_DA May 6, 2011 at 12:35 pm

It certainly results in such the next day.

waitforsugar May 6, 2011 at 12:33 pm

Republicans 2012 – We've got a black guy too.

Fare la Volpe May 6, 2011 at 12:44 pm

It worked so well with Michael Steele.

Arken May 6, 2011 at 12:45 pm

That was the strategy that got Michael Steele his last job.

tessiee May 6, 2011 at 10:23 pm

AND Clarence Thomas.

Chillwaver May 6, 2011 at 12:47 pm

The "strategy" is to carry him until Super Tuesday and then force him to pick cotton for endorse Mittens.

SenileAgitation May 6, 2011 at 12:51 pm

They can go further: We've got a REAL black guy, dark, not some half 'n halfer who never even worked for corporate America (making delicious pizza, no less).
PS. You say further, I say farther, let's call the whole thing… never mind.

OneDollarJuana May 6, 2011 at 3:53 pm

Herman Cain was born in Georgia. Wasn't Georgia in the USSR? Clearly NOT natural-born, thus not eligible, and obviously a commie. Show us the birf certificate!

tessiee May 6, 2011 at 10:22 pm

You're confused. There are two Georgias: One is a totalitarian backwater, and the other one is in Russia.

WhatTheHolyHeck May 6, 2011 at 12:34 pm

The AOLies are out in force on Huffpo, punching the wee liberals on the shoulder, prancing about, slurring, "You gonna call us racists now, motherfuckers?"

Except they have to spell it "M0thrfc3rz" to get it past the mods.

It's adorable. I wish I could give them all gold star stickers.

DashboardBuddha May 6, 2011 at 12:56 pm

Ahh…huffpo goderators. I used to call people a "crazy, unintelligible, nattering tool", and they would make it through…until the goderators learned how to string letters together.

WhatTheHolyHeck May 6, 2011 at 3:56 pm

Somehow I ended up being one of those goderators. Apparently you can achieve those lofty heights by sending in box tops or correctly identifying 20 random racists posting shite or decoding Annie's secret Ovaltine message or something.

Frankly, I would have preferred the leg lamp.

Preferred Customer May 6, 2011 at 2:45 pm

You know who ELSE wanted to give everyone gold star stickers?

GOPCrusher May 6, 2011 at 3:51 pm

Oprah Winfrey?

babyeinstein May 6, 2011 at 4:26 pm

Mary Kay Letourneau?

Preferred Customer May 6, 2011 at 5:33 pm

Yes.

tessiee May 6, 2011 at 10:23 pm

My third grade teacher?

HELisforHEL May 6, 2011 at 4:35 pm

NOTE TO REPUGTARDS: Our black guy is intelligent, nuanced and adult. None of your guys & gals-black, white, yellow, brown, purple, etc. share those ANY of those qualities.

_DA May 6, 2011 at 12:34 pm

Herman Cain was inspired to run by Steve Forbes' two massively successful terms as President.

V572..whatever May 6, 2011 at 12:48 pm

Don't forget Herbert Hoover, another Republican businessman who became a legendary president. Wanna buy an apple?

Rosie_Scenario May 6, 2011 at 2:20 pm

And Dubya, also. Too. He of the Harvard MBA. Let's run American like a business. Right into the ground.

GOPCrusher May 6, 2011 at 3:52 pm

Wasn't the fact that the Rangers traded away Sammy Sosa, enough of a warning signal about this man's decision making skills?

HELisforHEL May 6, 2011 at 4:36 pm

I wish I could give you a million P's.

Sophist [غني عن ذلك] May 6, 2011 at 12:34 pm

He must have made them an offer they couldn't refuse (i.e. sex in a public restroom at the truckstop).

Lascauxcaveman May 6, 2011 at 12:35 pm

Damn! Hell-to-the-yes on pizza. I'm starving. Why'd they always have to put these debates on at dinner time?

PubOption May 6, 2011 at 1:02 pm

Knowing Wonkette's usual vocabulary, I at first misread 'debates' as 'diabetes'.

prommie May 6, 2011 at 12:35 pm

Better the devil you don't know, isn't that how it goes?

Badonkadonkette May 6, 2011 at 12:36 pm

Someone on here has d0wnfist syndrome.

waitforsugar May 6, 2011 at 12:40 pm

Luckily I happen to have a case of the upfisties.

SorosBot May 6, 2011 at 12:43 pm

Since it's kind of buried at the end of an old thread, I'll copy what I noticed there:

He's been working overtime today; he must be taking a break from making his claims on Breitbart that everyone should stop blaming white people for slavery because it's really the fault of black people and Muslims. Here is our downfister making what has got to be one of the most racist comments I have ever seen:
http://biggovernment.com/jlpeterson/2011/05/05/ob

V572..whatever May 6, 2011 at 12:51 pm

Which comment is it over there? The linky didn't take me to it.

SorosBot May 6, 2011 at 12:54 pm

It worked fine for me – only now it's changed to "this comment has been deleted by the user". Heh. It was basically a big rant claiming that black people should stop blaming white people for slavery, since it was other black Africans who captured the ancestors of the slaves and sold them to white people, and the Muslims brought back slaves first and so it's more their fault than white Europeans.

Fare la Volpe May 6, 2011 at 1:05 pm

I caught that before he shame deleted it. Remember, white people, it was the blacks' idea to sell themselves into slavery. The white men just happened to be there and were all like "Oh, you don't want DeShawn here? We'll take him, no biggie."

poncho_pilot May 6, 2011 at 12:59 pm

this is why i take screen shots. no redaction to get in the way.

a_pink_poodle May 6, 2011 at 12:36 pm

"When I'm president, free pizza for all!"

Polythene_Pam May 6, 2011 at 12:48 pm

"And no more homework!"

a_pink_poodle May 6, 2011 at 12:53 pm

"Oh and free ponies for everyone because my sister keeps bugging me about it."

Dudleydidwrong May 6, 2011 at 1:57 pm

"A pizza in every pot!" (Or is that "pot on every pizza"…I forget)

OneDollarJuana May 6, 2011 at 2:05 pm

It's "a piss in every pot". Extra in yours.

Ducksworthy May 6, 2011 at 3:01 pm

I think you mean a Pee in every pot. And BTW? yours was empty when I found it.

GOPCrusher May 6, 2011 at 4:01 pm

Last black man I voted for, promised me a unicorn. And I still haven't seen it yet. I want my pizza up front this time.

genxr May 6, 2011 at 12:36 pm

He promised to deliver your economic recovery in 30 minutes or it's free!

All I heard during the debate last night was "legalize it" and "pizza" but that's probably just me.

Naked_Bunny May 6, 2011 at 1:22 pm

That was Domino's.

Which was also run by a right-winger, come to think of it.

tessiee May 6, 2011 at 10:32 pm

Are you Ginger the dog in that old Far Side cartoon?
http://s173.photobucket.com/albums/w57/spn_imgs/?…

Sophist [غني عن ذلك] May 6, 2011 at 12:37 pm

And just like that, all your work is undone, Dr. Troll. Again we see there is nothing you can possess which I cannot take away.

Nothingisamiss May 6, 2011 at 1:12 pm

Bwaahahahah!

OneDollarJuana May 6, 2011 at 12:38 pm

All I can say is that my daughter hates Papa John's pizza.

JustPixelz May 6, 2011 at 12:55 pm

Is that the same as Godfather's pizza? I just know Papa John sez "better ingredients make better pizza". And I saw the ingredients on that stage last night, and those five ain't makin' better pizza.

Swampgas_Man May 6, 2011 at 5:19 pm

When it comes to pizza, BUY LOCAL, MOFOS! I've got a guy right off the boat from Sicily in my town, makes a damn good cheesesteak too, and I'm not even in Philly!

Gopherit May 6, 2011 at 12:38 pm

The New GOP: Once you go black, you can't go back.

natoslug May 6, 2011 at 5:35 pm

Someone should tell them that America isn't ready to elect a black man.

Gopherit May 6, 2011 at 6:52 pm

Birf Sertifikut!

hagajim May 6, 2011 at 12:39 pm

Frank Luntz…rhymes with Cuntz…which is pretty much what every dweeb at the debate is.

tiredalways May 6, 2011 at 12:39 pm

Boy oh boy~ be prepared for not only Herman Cain's long form birth certificate controversy but also the recipe of each and every pizza made during his CEO-ship. Hey, we have to make sure there were no Muslim-socialist-Kenyan pepperoni used there.

Rosie_Scenario May 6, 2011 at 2:25 pm

Halal?

Weenus299 May 6, 2011 at 12:39 pm

they presented that laurel, and hardy handshake just for him.

meufchelou May 6, 2011 at 12:40 pm

My favorite pizza is the super Hawaiian.

Fare la Volpe May 6, 2011 at 1:03 pm

Chicago Style.

Chillwaver May 6, 2011 at 1:12 pm

With the Kenyan sausage topping?

RadioGroundZero May 6, 2011 at 1:46 pm

It'll get you like a case of anthrax.

Boojum_Reborn May 6, 2011 at 12:42 pm

Republicans suck at identity politics.

Dudleydidwrong May 6, 2011 at 1:59 pm

Republicans suck at identity politics Fixed

HELisforHEL May 6, 2011 at 4:41 pm

Republicans suck.

/Fixed

axmxz May 6, 2011 at 12:42 pm

They're just looking forward to an old-fashioned Battle Royal.

poncho_pilot May 6, 2011 at 12:52 pm
Ruhe May 6, 2011 at 12:56 pm

So the guy who wanted to fight for change will have to actually get on the floor and fight for the change?

Swampgas_Man May 6, 2011 at 5:20 pm

Putting them in a steel cage is a good start. Just don't put a door on the damn thing or they'll get out.

Angry_Marmot May 7, 2011 at 6:09 am

Rick Flair emerges as the GOP candidate for 2012! Woooo!

bureaucrap May 6, 2011 at 12:44 pm

The New GOP: "OK Mr. Steele/Mr. Cain, we let you on camera for a few months. Your work here is done. Buh-bye."

BZ1 May 6, 2011 at 12:46 pm

Cain: "I'm gonna make him (Barrack) an offer he can't refuse," presumably a large, three-topping pizza…

edgydrifter May 6, 2011 at 12:46 pm

Does Godfather's even exist anymore? I remember their heyday in the '80s, when they were in every strip mall and their super shitty commercials were in heavy rotation on MTV. Now? If there are any within twenty miles of me, I couldn't tell you, and if I did know of one I sure as hell wouldn't go there for pizza. Heckuva job, Cainy.
Southern accent, socially conservative, ruined his company, knows almost nothing about foreign policy… say, who does this sound exactly like? I'll bet his middle name is Walker, too.

poncho_pilot May 6, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Godfather's Pizza is where i first played Centipede back in 1984. but that, unfortunately, has nothing to do with Herman Cain.

SorosBot May 6, 2011 at 12:57 pm

I've never heard of Godfather's until this guy entered the Presidential race; never seen a commercial or anything. Maybe they were/are just one of those regional places.

Lascauxcaveman May 6, 2011 at 1:28 pm

We had one in my town for about 5 years. It was on the main drag, so it should have been successful, as the only chain-store pizza place in town.

My daughter's soccer team had its end-of-the-season awards party there once. Man, it sucked. I was really surprised how bad it was. About the same as Dominos, only more expensive, and not delivered to your door.

emmelemm May 6, 2011 at 1:46 pm

Used to be a number of Godfather's here in Seattle, in, yeah, the 80s. My Godfather's story is that I went there once in high school, left my retainer in a napkin on the table, then had to go back and dive into their garbage cans to find it.

BerkeleyBear May 6, 2011 at 2:29 pm

I thought they were dead and buried, then I moved to Springfield, Illinois. Until a year ago, it had two – but the one on the north side is now closed. I had no interest in going, but a friend suggested it after a high school basketball tournament(yes, this town sucks hard enough that the 4 team city tournament is a highlight of the social calendar) . Terrible food, terrible service, no good beer and too expensive. Heck, I'd put Chuck E Cheese ahead of it on both taste and value.

GOPCrusher May 6, 2011 at 4:06 pm

I like Godfather's Pizza. Like any franchise, I think it depends on the quality of the people that work there.
But it doesn't have Skee-Ball.

Swampgas_Man May 6, 2011 at 5:23 pm

After Schlotsky's (not a pizza place, a sub place w/ GREAT bread) broke my heart by moving away, I stay away from all the chains.

mulletpatriot May 6, 2011 at 12:46 pm

Hell, throw in a side order of crazy bread and some dippin' sauce and I'll vote for him.

JustPixelz May 6, 2011 at 12:56 pm

Michele Bachmann Crazy Bread or GTFO.

tessiee May 6, 2011 at 10:38 pm

Torgo's crazy bread is the best!

ifthethunderdontgetya May 6, 2011 at 12:47 pm

Lest anyone forget this bit of South Carolina Republican History:

Rove invented a uniquely injurious fiction for his operatives to circulate via a phony poll. Voters were asked, “Would you be more or less likely to vote for John McCain…if you knew he had fathered an illegitimate black child?” This was no random slur. McCain was at the time campaigning with his dark-skinned daughter, Bridget, adopted from Bangladesh.

It worked. Owing largely to the Rove-orchestrated whispering campaign, Bush prevailed in South Carolina and secured the Republican nomination.
~

JustPixelz May 6, 2011 at 12:59 pm

Too bad he didn't ask: Would you be more or less likely to vote for George W Bush if you knew he would sit frozen in a schoolroom while Americans were dying in a terrorist attack and other Americans were fighting for their lives on airplanes?

genxr May 6, 2011 at 1:10 pm

They were doing legitimate market research. They were trying to decide if they should have McCain father an illegitimate black child, so they ran the idea in front of a few focus groups. In the end, they decided against it.

Rosie_Scenario May 6, 2011 at 3:22 pm

But, what about the photo of John McCain embracing Dubya and campaigning for him in 2004. Seems awfully hypocritical on both their parts. Yeah, that's about right.

tessiee May 6, 2011 at 10:40 pm

Rove really was a bag of rancid slime.
I get great satisfaction out of knowing that he now spends his days blowing the other convicts for cigarettes.

Fare la Volpe May 6, 2011 at 12:48 pm

CLASS PRESIDENT DEBATE
DEBBIE vs. MILK

"Um, Principal, my name is spelled 'Milo.'"
"Trust me, Milk will get more votes."

Moral: Americans will vote for anything with dairy.

SaintRond May 6, 2011 at 8:30 pm

Sickening.

poncho_pilot May 6, 2011 at 12:49 pm

again, that dickhead with the bow tie. Paultard? only a Paultard wouldn't love Herman Cain.

V572..whatever May 6, 2011 at 12:49 pm

How many hours did Luntz rehearse that audience to get them to spew their talking points so quickly? You know the average person would begin, "Uh, Jeb Tatum here, I'd like to make a comment…"

And, uh, I'd like to make a comment. Frank Luntz is an evil genius who turned normal Americans' healthy contempt for inherited wealth into a lust for it, even among those who have no hope of ever inheriting it or leaving it behind, by the simple expedient of calling it "the death tax."

JustPixelz May 6, 2011 at 1:05 pm

Inheritance Tax was a Republican idea! OK, it was under Theodore Roosevelt, so things have changed. They feared an American aristocracy. And they believed — as a matter of principle — that everyone* should succeed by dint of their own efforts. HA HA. That's so quaint.
___________________
* white men

OneDollarJuana May 6, 2011 at 2:23 pm

Too bad for most people, especially in Texas, all they're likely to inherit is a Coke can full of tobacco spit.

deanbooth May 6, 2011 at 12:51 pm

If he becomes president, we're in deep dish.

baconzgood May 6, 2011 at 12:54 pm

……But Herman Cain's a nigger?……

(I'm snarking….I have black friends…..PLEASE DON'T BEAT ME UP)

V572..whatever May 6, 2011 at 1:00 pm

But are they some of your BEST FRIENDS? You probably deserve a beatdown just for not deploying a cliché correctly.

baconzgood May 6, 2011 at 1:02 pm

Actually my best friend is 1/2 black and 1/2 jewish (no joke). And you think I can snark……That dude's the funniest guy I ever met. And I met Joel Hodgson once.

Lascauxcaveman May 6, 2011 at 1:33 pm

DeShawn Epstein?

RadioGroundZero May 6, 2011 at 1:50 pm

Great, now you've brought the DF out. He/she must be a big MST3K fan.

baconzgood May 6, 2011 at 3:13 pm

A -3. Ouch. Now I'm sad.

deanbooth May 6, 2011 at 12:54 pm

Just as people continue to burn their mouths on hot pizza, people will continue to vote Republican. They'll never learn.

Fare la Volpe May 6, 2011 at 12:59 pm

But the runs and diarrhea we get afterwards are soooo worth it.

DashboardBuddha May 6, 2011 at 12:57 pm

The focus group: The Dumbest Guys in the Room?

Dudleydidwrong May 6, 2011 at 2:10 pm

Ya gotta pronounce it right: Focus: (fuck'-us)

SorosBot May 6, 2011 at 12:58 pm

In the wingnut's case, it's not guilt; they just don't want non-wingnuts to know that they're racists. Psst, you're not fooling anybody.

Mumbletypeg May 6, 2011 at 12:59 pm

Americans love pizza, obviously, and would love to elect it president.

Despite my repeated admonishments, Facebook still won't acknowledge that I'm in a relationship with pizza. Sad times.

Hatrabbit May 6, 2011 at 1:00 pm

"Unfortunately, as much as everyone loves the Constitution, it says pizza is not eligible for the office."

Hey, if a pizza's 35 years old and was made in the United States, I think we can do this.

genxr May 6, 2011 at 1:07 pm

Our next president is in my living room!

V572..whatever May 6, 2011 at 1:10 pm

Let's see the long-form recipe!

emmelemm May 6, 2011 at 1:47 pm

I don't think it explicitly says that pizza CANNOT be President. Therefore…

OneDollarJuana May 6, 2011 at 2:24 pm

Sorry, pizza is Italian in origin, so it's right out.

Fare la Volpe May 6, 2011 at 1:01 pm

What Up, America?

Preferred Customer May 6, 2011 at 1:01 pm

I am looking forward to the "Cain Is Able" bumperstickers. If the campaign doesn't make them, I will.

nappyduggs May 6, 2011 at 1:10 pm

Or, if they try to get hip, "Pimp Cain." Heyyyyyy, that works on a few levels!

CountryClubJihadi May 6, 2011 at 1:18 pm

Yes We Cain

DustBowlBlues May 6, 2011 at 1:26 pm

OMG It's the wonkette punsters. Why isn't wonkette in the syllabus of all English professors, just for the puns. Their big with Engish profs, right? And probably historians.

johnnyzhivago May 6, 2011 at 1:57 pm

Cain is Able is actually a trademark of a trucking company in Scranton, PA….

nappyduggs May 11, 2011 at 4:08 pm

Mmmmm, likey. You just got a love bump from Count Fistula.

Dudleydidwrong May 6, 2011 at 2:13 pm

Raising Cain to a new level

If I'm elected we'll all be workin' in the Cain fields

God, I'm exhausted…

BarryOPotter May 6, 2011 at 2:36 pm

"Cain is NOT Able"
"Cain is DIS-Abled"
"Cain is unst-ABLE"

SilverTsunami May 6, 2011 at 2:49 pm

If you make them, I'll buy one!

elviouslyqueer May 6, 2011 at 1:01 pm

Hey, you know what else white South Carolinians thought was a good idea?

Fare la Volpe May 6, 2011 at 1:08 pm

Mark Sanford?

metamarcisf May 6, 2011 at 1:30 pm

NASCAR?

MinAgain May 6, 2011 at 1:50 pm

Calling themselves the Gamecocks?

Dudleydidwrong May 6, 2011 at 2:14 pm

Firing on Ft Sumter?

genxr May 6, 2011 at 2:16 pm

Sweet tea?

GOPCrusher May 6, 2011 at 4:50 pm

Driving down a gravel road at night with the headlights off, and telling the passenger "Hold my beer and watch this!"?

gullywompr May 8, 2011 at 12:58 am
poncho_pilot May 6, 2011 at 1:02 pm

i blew every Republican voter in America and all i got was this stupid t-shirt.

TheMeatmaker May 6, 2011 at 8:50 pm

Who let the Congressional pages on here?

littlebigdaddy May 6, 2011 at 1:06 pm

As an ex-pat living in Europe (don't hate me), I think American pizza is an abomination worthy of Leviticus. It makes perfect sense that something so inane and unhealthy would find its home in the Republican party.

tessiee May 6, 2011 at 10:50 pm

When you get to Heaven, you'll hear the people on the cloud next to yours complaining in thick New York accents, "The pizza here isn't as good".

102415 May 7, 2011 at 9:33 pm

Because it won't be as good as pizza in NYC.

BarackMyWorld May 6, 2011 at 1:12 pm

…his grasp of the issues was a little weak at times…

What are you trying to say, Jack?

elviouslyqueer May 6, 2011 at 1:20 pm

Pawlenty didn't appreciate Cain's bad handjob technique.

fartknocker May 6, 2011 at 1:14 pm

Cain scared me. When he was asked about immigration policies, he said that it was a "…states right issue." Really Herm? I guess he missed the 14th Amendment when he was writing his pizza dough recipe.

BerkeleyBear May 6, 2011 at 2:31 pm

And Article II of the Constitution.

BornInATrailer May 6, 2011 at 1:19 pm

Why was there a Teddy portrait in that room? I thought the GOP had demonized Teddy like 6-12 months ago?

Angry_Marmot May 7, 2011 at 6:44 am

Teddy himself left the party when he went Bull Moose Progressive against Taft in 1912. Split the GOP vote and Wilson won the election. I'm not sure they even let Teddy back into the pantheon until the 1980s and that whole Reagan/Teddy looks-good-on-a-horse thing. Don't blame me, I voted for Debs.

PabaBritannica May 6, 2011 at 1:28 pm

AVOID THE NOID in 2012. CAIN FOR AMERICA.

metamarcisf May 6, 2011 at 1:29 pm

Merely by staying away from deadly topics like heroin and creation science, Cain showed the kind of restraint that we're looking for here in the Dept. of Public Works.

PabaBritannica May 6, 2011 at 1:31 pm

Most important people in America? Nonsense. Where is Alvin Greene?

GOPCrusher May 6, 2011 at 4:51 pm

CAIN/GREENE 2012!

nappyduggs May 6, 2011 at 1:32 pm

But let us not neglect to address the real issue here:
How does Hermie-baby look in burlap, a pair of 2-sizes-too-big Brogans, and a tattered straw hat, 'cuz that's what they make you wear to the South Carolina victory rally, when you're a blackie.

emmelemm May 6, 2011 at 1:37 pm

Dude, the IKEA is actually in Kent (WA).

anniegetyerfun May 6, 2011 at 2:15 pm

WhUH? I worked literally a block from there, and the address was Renton.

emmelemm May 6, 2011 at 2:19 pm

Touché! I see that the address is the southiest South Renton ever.

Gunner Asch May 6, 2011 at 3:32 pm

But Tukwila is a funnier name, and that's the way I originally saw the joke.

OneDollarJuana May 6, 2011 at 3:39 pm

Tukwila/Renton/Kent/Auburn/Puyallup. Whatever. All South of I-90, all hicksville. Might as well live in White Center.

riverside68 May 6, 2011 at 4:22 pm

White Center aka Rat City (Or it was 20 yrs ago when I lived there.)

Chet Kincaid May 6, 2011 at 4:12 pm

Yes, in Yiddish Hip-Hop circles, a "Tukwila" is a boychick who is meshuga about zaftig tukhuses.

philpjfry May 6, 2011 at 1:38 pm

Wow, a black president this year and two black presidential candidates next year. What is this country coming to? I can picture half of the south on buses to Mexico or Canada or Europe to get away. Selling bus tickets to Europe. I found a job!

OneDollarJuana May 6, 2011 at 2:27 pm

Sort of a reverse "freedom ride", with all the whites trying to get free of the blacks.

Wadisay May 6, 2011 at 1:46 pm

He sounded like pretty much any other Republican, though his grasp of the issues was a little weak at times.

Mystery of Cain's appeal: case closed.

RadioGroundZero May 6, 2011 at 1:51 pm

Needz moar Santorum.

MinAgain May 6, 2011 at 1:53 pm

Well, southerners do like their food greasy, and Godfather's pizza certainly delivers on that front.

teebob2000 May 6, 2011 at 1:54 pm

>> it says pizza is not eligible for the office

Is that because it's not a natural-born American dish?

Chop Suey 2012!!!!!!1

OneDollarJuana May 6, 2011 at 2:29 pm

With Haagen Daz as VP!

Angry_Marmot May 7, 2011 at 6:53 am

PB and J or GTFO.

PuckStopsHere May 6, 2011 at 2:01 pm

Are these the people the Fl gov'ner is going to drug test, right?

owhatever May 6, 2011 at 2:06 pm

And so begins the long hot summer, with the first shot once again fired in South Carolina. Fox makes its own news.

anniegetyerfun May 6, 2011 at 2:17 pm

Wait, he's black? I seriously have no idea who the guy is, and obviously haven't been watching the coverage.

mavenmaven May 6, 2011 at 2:18 pm

Is this an argument in favor of or opposed to the Domino's effect?

Gleem_McShineys May 6, 2011 at 2:24 pm

And furthermore, these solutions will be both well-thought-out, and effective!

Limeylizzie May 6, 2011 at 2:28 pm

"One word to descrbe Herman Cain"…well no-one screamed out "Nigra' so I suppose that wasn't as bad as it could have been.

BerkeleyBear May 6, 2011 at 2:35 pm

During and after the 2008 election there was a lot of discussion of how the Brady Factor (the overpolling/underperforming of minority candidates) was not real. I suspect the professed admiration of an all white crowd in SC for ol' Herm might test that received wisdom, seeing as how his actual supporters in SC could all fit in that room.

HistoriCat May 7, 2011 at 2:38 pm

Maybe it's CEO worship in action? Sure Cain is black but he was the CEO of a corporation! He's the only one there who has never been tainted by working for the evil government. And if St. Ronnie taught us anything, it's that government is always the problem.

Well, that or they heard "Godfathers" and assumed he's the front man for the mob. Maybe they're all afraid they'll get whacked!

BarryOPotter May 6, 2011 at 2:40 pm

Because as Cain knows, the most important element of leadership is having someone lead. And it's important to have someone to lead as well, otherwise, how is that leadership, amirite?

Limeylizzie May 6, 2011 at 2:41 pm

Our beloved and racist downfister is around, I can smell him. "Good Afternoon Cuntface"

Ducksworthy May 6, 2011 at 2:46 pm

Uncle Ruckus for Preznit!

Limeylizzie May 6, 2011 at 2:46 pm

Lookie here, the downfister has cut and pasted a Wonketteer's use of the word 'Nigger" and put it on Breitfart for all to see and is encouraging them all to come and join in the fisting.

7 minutes ago @ Breitbart.tv – Teenage Mob Swarms Veg… · 0 replies · +1 points
For a typically racist comment from a Wonk Klux Klanner:

1 hour ago @ Wonkette – Republican Voters Appa… · 4 replies · +9 points

……But Herman Cain's a n*gger?……

(I'm snarking….I have black friends…..PLEASE DON'T BEAT ME UP)

I apologize for the asterisk–the "Big" sites don't allow the blatant manifestations of racism the Wonkette does. To show your disapproval: http://www.wonkette.com/

SorosBot May 6, 2011 at 2:50 pm

Of course they ban it, because the guys who run the site know how many of their commentors would use it constantly and point out even more how racist the place is.

And edit, because I don't see that on his profile now – he must have deleted it after reading your comment, like he did with the racist one I noted earlier. Hee. Maybe I should link to his most recent post, in which he is particularly and creepily obsessed with me again: http://tv.breitbart.com/msnbc-asserts-violent-rhe

SorosBot May 6, 2011 at 3:21 pm

And he has now deleted that one too; downfister must not like getting called out.

BobSalem May 6, 2011 at 3:29 pm

OK counselor…OK…. You racist, lying, lowlife pukes are beyond being a joke and are nothing more than the dried up shit that gets swept into the gutter and then flushed thru the sewer system! A sarcastic robot? More like a fucking idiot that is full of shit and insults….perhaps your really are an attorney. Hahaha

Now is the time for your little fwiend Pessie to chime in with another one of her libpuke comments.

HELisforHEL May 6, 2011 at 4:56 pm

AHHAHHAHAHAHA
Seriously, you're an idiot, Mr. Not Ashamed To Be An American.

AH HA HA HA HA HA

GOPCrusher May 6, 2011 at 4:56 pm

Well, so much for political civility.

tessiee May 6, 2011 at 10:59 pm

Shouldn't you be finding a new avatar instead of trolling here?

elviouslyqueer May 6, 2011 at 3:03 pm

Well of course Brightfarters want to get on their high horse about this because, after all, they're the ones who never EVER say anything bad about anyone, amirite?

SilverTsunami May 6, 2011 at 2:49 pm

Pizza was born in Italy. I have seen the long form birth certificate. It cannot be President.

elviouslyqueer May 6, 2011 at 2:53 pm

But only after Memorial Day and never never EVER after Labor Day. Also.

ttommyunger May 6, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Well, us white folk do have a special place in our hearts for our House Niggers, don't we? (Smiles benevolently)

carlgt1 May 6, 2011 at 4:35 pm

is this zeal for Cain some sort of teabagger racist blowback or guilt trip? I can't see anything appealing about him, his "policies" seem to the right of Bachmann. Or maybe that's the appeal to baggers?

HELisforHEL May 6, 2011 at 4:43 pm

Ha! "Chucky Diseases"…I always call it 'The Sticky Palace', but your moniker is perfect.

HELisforHEL May 6, 2011 at 4:51 pm

True that. No Greek. No chain. Those are not pizzas. They're some phyllo dough or cracker crap things topped with sugary sauce. Blech.

Ahhh, Philly pie, I miss you.

Wilcoxyz May 6, 2011 at 5:27 pm

So pizza man is the new hockey mom.

mourningnmerica May 6, 2011 at 5:40 pm

I thought those people made barbeque. WTF?

GinnehRED57 May 6, 2011 at 6:48 pm

I remember when "going to Tukwila" was the clever newspaper columnists euphemism for "having sex." This was some years ago, before Paris Hilton cootchie shots were invented

SaintRond May 6, 2011 at 8:26 pm

I watched it on my laptop with a bunch of Mexico City chilangos who'd never been to the US and whom I wanted to come away with a sense of what America was all about. That MC sack of shit in the dirty tennis shoes and the suit that looked like he'd bought it on the street in downtown DF talking to those people who looked like they all had hardened arteries had them in a state of confused disbelief. They knew they were looking at something ridiculous, but it was so foreign to their eyes that they couldn't tell exactly what kind of human beings they were looking at. And they were all in agreement that Sean Hannity looked like a human being who'd been through an ungodly medical experiment to graft the eyes of a door mouse onto his face.

Anyway, this is a great way to curtail immigration of any sort to the US. Because I can assure you, none of the viewers at my place last night will ever let themselves even imagine stepping one foot across their northern border as long as they live.

TheMeatmaker May 6, 2011 at 8:53 pm

Silly Republicans. To buy the presidency you need dollars. Not tokens.

102415 May 7, 2011 at 9:30 pm

+1

NadePaulKuciGravMcKi May 7, 2011 at 9:43 pm

Herman Cain the Federal Reserve insider
… pro war pro bailouts …

PostApocalypse May 9, 2011 at 12:22 pm

I actually want this guy to get the nod just so's there's two black dudes in the general. I want people to squirm and wonder if it's just gonna be black guys in charge from now on forever and how long before the "cuckold laws" start getting passed and we're forced to see the missus off via high speed rail to Atlanta, Detroit, DC, LA, Chocolate City, etc. each 4th Friday, for her mandated weekend "semenar."

Yeah, let's get THAT rumor started.

Call me a chicken counter, but Barry's gonna mop the floor next election anyway, and if this is the pub nominee, I'm guessing lots of cons will find something better to do on nov 4.

OneDollarJuana May 6, 2011 at 2:05 pm

Kinda like the Messican gummint complaining about all the durn drugs and all that we buy. Hell, it's Messicans that's growin' and shippin' all them drugs to us, and cuttin' off other Messican heads 'n' such. It ain't our fault, we're just innocent customers.

Chet Kincaid May 6, 2011 at 3:58 pm

They're not foolin' anybody.

HELisforHEL May 6, 2011 at 4:29 pm

Yay! Baseball bats for all the Wonkeratti!

Beck_is_Trig May 7, 2011 at 12:40 am

By that definition…then no. Just make sure when it happens…you pick a ripe fat one, and you don't say anything about jebus or the bibbles.

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