That state attorney general who “won” at being the first to defeat Obamacare in his state apparently would like to be beamed up to heaven very quickly so he can go be one of Osama bin Laden’s “Virginans,” which sounds like a cross between “virgin” and “vagina” and “trans.” Wow, what a combo! Whatever your weirdest sex fantasy is, Ken Cuccinelli just topped it.
According to Jason Linkins, Cuccinelli may be “referencing” this ancient Internet chain-letter “joke” about Virginians meeting bin Laden in heaven. But this still doesn’t make sense. Ken Cuccinelli desperately wants to be dead? Somebody put him on suicide watch! He’s gone emo on us! (Something he shares with his new lover?) Just be careful not to give him any health care, because he HATES health care and that will probably just make him more suicidal.
Cuccinelli then responded to the people making fun of him on Twitter, assuming those accusing him of making a typo just didn’t understand what a “Virginian” is:
Yes, Ken Cuccinelli is so hubristic that he didn’t even go back to read his tweet and see that it was INSANE and DID include a typo, he just assumed that everyone was too dumb to know what a “Virginian” is. Also, doesn’t everyone want to get ass-fucked by Osama bin Laden in another dimension of existence? Something you can tell your grandkids, at least. [Twitter/HuffPo]
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He just wants to insert himself into the story anyway he can.
Heh… you said "insert."
I think what you meant was that he wants to have the handle of a toilet plunger inserted into himself in any way he can.
The handle end? Don't be a pussyfut.
Virginia is fer lovers.
Virgina is fer lovers.
This is strictly mangina country.
Virginia Thomas?
Oh, the shrinkmanity!
Ken Cuccinelli; star fucker.
He also killed Kurt Cobain, sapped Billy Corgan of his talent, & tried to seduce Trent Reznor. True story.
Incorporated.
Virginia is for lovers
All 72 of 'em, the inbreeding continues…
Are you saying there are only 72 bloodlines in all of Virginia, I buy that, What does West Virginia have, 2?
It is indeed a typo. "Virginans" was not a typo for "Virginians" but rather "Virginanus."
But, really, we all know that would be a lie anyway.
Extemporanus will have your head for that. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
I have no interest in Pete's bloody head.
I will, however, borrow his hammer for a bit — I've still got 69 virginans in need of nailing. (Mine broke on #3…)
What did I do to deserve the doghouse?
Does this mean Cuccinelli has a thing for 'beards' or wants to be one or what?
Please see my earlier post about doody clogging up the intertubez.
Are the "72 Virginans" goats or sheep?
Yes.
This is why people on medication should stay away from heavy machinery and blackberries.
Virginia, you all can have your delusions of grandeur based on Thomas Jefferson, but your reality is that you elect idiots like Cuccinelli and his pal your governor.
Virginia touts its eight presidents (most of any state) but they fail to realize Woodrow Wilson (who was elected from New Jersey, where he had been president at Princeton) was the last one.
Since Woody left office, though, those granola-eaters in California have given us two (though only one by birth), the union-thugs in Illinois two as well (Reagan was born there, Obama served there), & "exotic" Hawai'i one.
Virginia? Squat.
Hear, hear! As a resident of Virginia (but not a native so I'm no Virginian, praise Allah), I'm sick and tired of the Dumbshit Wonder Twins, Ken the Cooch and Gov. Bob.
I'm with you. I live in the communist part of Virginia and was tired of these two asshats before the final election results were in. Hateful morons.
I used to work in Commie Northern Va but I live in Socialist Commie Montgomery County,MD. We have no elected Republicans and currently are planning how to dump some less than progressive Dems we elected in our last state elections.
Definitely needs more santorum.
I love you Wonky, for intercepting Twatters so I don't have to.
Seconded.
So that's what Twitter is good for–allowing morons to more publicly warn the rest of us that they're morons. Useful public service, but I'm still not sure it adds up to a business model.
If he does become one of Osama's bitches, he better not take a teaching job in VA…
On March 4, 2010, one month after Governor Bob McDonnell issued an Executive Order which did not include protections for gays and lesbians employed by the Commonwealth, Cuccinelli issued a letter to Virginia's public colleges and universities that said, in part, "It is my advice that the law and public policy of the Commonwealth of Virginia prohibit a college or university from including 'sexual orientation,' 'gender identity,' 'gender expression,' or like classification as a protected class within its non-discrimination policy absent specific authorization from the General Assembly," http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ken_Cuccinelli
Some how…this makes me feel better about being a Floridian.
Perhaps one day the florida fark tag will be replaced by the cooch.
Nah…
Would "Virginans" be people who live in virgins? That seems kind of impossible.
Worked for Jesus, if you believe what you no doubt were forced to read once upon a time.
I suppose that if you go with the Catholic schoolgirl / Bill Clinton view that oral sex doesn't count, it would work for children of lesbians conceived via in vitro fertilization.
Are you trying to say Mary was lesbian? Huh, show me the long form video to prove that or STFU.
Hail Mary, full of Grace.
Downright 'immaculate'…
I'm pretty sure Kenny's that other thing, too.
I'm pretty sure those animated Taiwanese pigs were actually West Virginans…
http://nydn.us/izThg3
Why isn't drunk tweeting against the law in Virginia?
Robin Williams take on 71 Virginians.
Yeah, because 'Virginians' are mentioned all the time in the Koran.
No, dude, we got it the first time. You're an idiot. Check.
Ken wants to be buttbanged by an emaciated, diabetic 54-year old who is missing half his skull? I slow-clap applaud your devotion to corpse-porn, sir.
I blame Gonzo porn. As fantasy has become more & more implausible, the ability really to get off has become compromised. Only the vilest desires can get one sprung.
Are you reading Empire of Illusion too? That's been my breakfast book this week, just in case the news isn't depressing enough when I get to work.
ObL is, of course, in Hell, which is also where most dead Virginians are. Live ones, too, come to think of it.
"This is just another stellar example of Republican 'humor'.
These guys can't tell a joke to save their lives."
-Dr Martin Luther King Jr.
I thought Mark Twain said that, or was it the Dalai Lama?
Duh, it was Oscar Wilde.
Cuccinelli wants a 'menage a Soixante-trois' with a dead Osama?
Okay Ken, you just out-creeped Glenn Beck, Michele Bachmann and Rush Limbaugh combined. Is this a tilt for the Republican 2012 Nomination?
LOL yer missing ten virginans–it's actually a ménage à soixante-treize.
At least it's not over 90–that's when shit gets really confusing. The french love to pick on the belgians, but at least they have the good sense to say nonante and not quatre-vingt-dix.
Speaking of rednecks speaking French, but mostly off-topic: Lawyers in Texas courtrooms all pronounce the legal term for the pre-trial juror meet-and-greet "voyer dyer". I suspect many if not most of them know how to pronounce voir dire, but fear that they will lose favor with the judge with such a display of cityfication.
Speaking of speaking French, but mostly off-topic: Lawyers in Texas courtrooms all pronounce the legal term for the pre-trial juror meet-and-greet "voyer dyer". I suspect many if not most of them know how to pronounce voir dire, but fear that they will lose favor with the judge with such a display of cityfication.
Ooops! My French sucks so much I can't even google France-y words.
soixante-douze, n'est-ce-pas?
that's the only way dumb RepugliKKKans can get into the "Osama finally killed" story — hoping their tweets get attention! oh, and begging for blood & guts photos….
I'd rather be a slutan than a virginan.
Obvsly, wingtard buttsecks humor.
Ken has saved himself for OBL all these years, and now he's tearing apart. . .all his pictures of him.
(I had assumed he meant '72 vaginas.')
Cooch & Ellie? Sure, I'd watch that.
Does Cucc have the same Republican gullible-gene that the earlier doofus Chambliss has? Where else would he get the idea that he has special privileges to empty his brain-pan onto something like Twitter with the result that *only* recipients with some card-carrying kind of 'exclusive access' to his/their bizarre inside-humor will see it and no one else?
Yes, Virginia, there are Virginian Virgins. Or, so I’ve been told.
Although, I’ve found none myself.
There are not virgins in Virginia because Vaginas are for lovers…
Cuccinelli's stupid meter is pegged out.
Heh, you said "pegged."
He certainly puts the Nelly in Cuccinelli — but I wouldn't've guessed tall swarthy hairy men were his thing.
It explains why guys like Cuccinelli don't want gay marriage here when they have it up there.
And this guy's an attorney? Just goes to show you that apparently something as lifelike as an animated shoe can pass the bar exam.
The bar? Seems like the kind of thing the Commonwealth wouldn't require [and the voters might disdain] as a qualification for the position.
Ken is trying to say he is from Northern Virginan.
I don't get it Cuccinelli. Here's a tip if you want somthing to be funny try really hard to pepper it with humor.
72? So like the Middle East:
How many Virgins do I get?
50!
I want 100!
you get 70!
I want 75!
72!
Sold!
Did he really mean West Virginans?
And this man is still suing scientists over results he doesn't like.
And he'll probably still get re-elected since noone that votes Democratic in this state gives two shits about elections that don't involve Barry.
Oh, AGs don't run for re-election — they run for governor, unfortunately.
yeah, that is why they keep asking people from my state(MD) to come over during your elections. Maybe a few people there have gotten smarter since they see what they got with the Kook
Oh, come on boys. You don't have to have a virgina to get this.
Also, doesn’t everyone want to get ass-fucked by Osama bin Laden in another dimension of existence?
Uhhh, no, not so much,
Italian-American Republicans have some issues with sex, it seems. Giuliani, cross-dresser. Cuccinelli, homonecrophiliac. Alfonse D'Amato, obsessed with Bill Clinton's wiener.
edtr on prject. will rprt back soon.
Was this sent when he was on the clock ? Get to fuckin' work.
Another job in our new service economy. To the rolls!
I was thinking more along the lines of "douchebag", but yours works just as well.
Yes Virginia, there is a Ken Cuccinelli….
Ken Cuccinelli, proud Vaginan-American
If there is one thing I've learned at ye Olde Wonkettes, it's that if you have to explain a joke, it's probably not funny. But NOTHING this world classclown could say would be funny.
I'm wondering too, based on his failure to see either the FAIL or the humor in his tweet, how often jokes need to be explained to him — not that this isn't common w/ Repub's as others here have noted — but I'm especially enjoying the image of Cucc', say, ordering Chinese take-out with his cronies, only to have to take turns explaining to him why the cookie fortunes are funnier when adding "… in bed"?
I can just picture his brow wrinkling: "[reads fortune]…in bed?
Bed… I don't get it."
Under the Scott Brown pinup pose, I predicted stupid Republicans would be the meme of the day.
Nailed it!
http://moran.house.gov/
http://moran.house.gov/
http://moran.house.gov/
OK, but he is a Democrat and has a magnificent silver mane, so go easy on him.
But isn't he a cheater?
One of my pet peeves is bad spelling. This asshole is getting what he deserves. What a maroon!
To give some credit, there were 70-some soldiers involved in the raid, and Seal Team 6 is apparently based in Virginia, so he was riffing on the idea Osama got to spend some time with 72 Virginians, instead of 72 virgins, and dipshit here wishes he was one of the Virginians. But yeah, stupid, a lawyer should be able to express his thoughts intelligibly, even if not intelligently.
Credit? You want to give him credit? I'd demand cash on the barrel-head from this magic-bean purveyor.
The Pentagon is in Virginia too but I don't give Kookie credit for that
If you have to put that much effort into explaining yourself, whatever you had to say probably wasn't worth it in the first place.
And the problem I have with that explanation is that he somehow assumes that he is on par with the men who actually did the job…….including the one in the oval office with the really nice tan.
It is Republican humor, he'd make OBL squeal like a pig. You don't find it funny? I'm sure the Breitbart people are just whooping it up with laughter.
I wonder of Osama has learned that the 72 virgins were mumu wearing relatives of Rosi O'Donnell
I wonder if Osama has learned that the 72 virgins were mumu wearing relatives of Rosi O'Donnell
Yes, it's true! Osama now has 72 virgins!
Ironically, they turned out of be dolphins, who are gang-raping him right now…
Yes, it's true! Osama now has 72 virgins!
Ironically, they turned out of be dolphins, who are gang-raping him right now…
Ok, so for this joke to work, first I have to notice and accept the Virgin / Virginian substitution. It's an odd substitution and definitely needs more space to set it up than Twitter is going to allow. That's mistake one.
Second, the author wants to be one of the Virgin/Virginian hanging out with Osama. Why? Because he hates Osama? Or because he is a such an intensely closeted Republican that he will do anything, literally anything to get his hands on some cock, including fellate the fetid corpse of America's most hated 'Muslin' enemy?? It's too ambiguous to figure out what he's trying to say, what with the second interpretation being so much funnier than the first.
Ok, so for this joke to work, first I have to notice and accept the Virgin / Virginian substitution. It's an odd substitution and definitely needs more space to set it up than Twitter is going to allow. That's mistake one.
Second, the author wants to be a Virgin/Virginian hanging out with Osama. Why? Because he hates Osama? Or because he is a such an intensely closeted Republican that he will do anything, literally anything to get his hands on some cock, including fellate the fetid corpse of America's most hated 'Muslin' enemy?? It's too ambiguous to figure out what he's trying to say, what with the second interpretation being so much funnier than the first.
72 Virginians is my idea of hell.
Isn't asswipe manufactured by Koch Industries or one of their subsidiaries?
Could there be any more proof that Scott Walker is closely tied to the Koch brothers?
Pig + lipstick still = Cuccinelli.
Hmmm. His inability to separate "virgins" from "Virginians" is telling. Like most Repugs, he is so depraved he is busy inventing new perversions and broadcasting them on the Internets.__What the fuck happened to simple sneak around adultery?
I know a bunch of gheys are partial to arab guys. But I think they mostly draw the line at crazy, religious, terrorist freaks though.
Ken C., you have our permission to off yourself. Doesn't cost a cent.
Ken is SO funny.
Let's all head to Richmond and butt-fuck him.
You go first though.
BTW – THANKS DFT!! You make me feel so special. Wanna butt-fuck?
I get it, Ken, Osama was a handsome devil, but someday you have to put away your Tiger Beat posters and move on. There'll be other dream boat mass murderers, sweetie.
Yes Virginans there is a vagina. Ken Cucinelli's never seen one, but the rest of you can consider yourself now up to speed.
This douche confirms that Twatter is nothing more than a weapon of mass distraction.
I wonder why we haven't heard from Wasilla Rose and Bristol Brisket Thighs? Ya know, for freedom and more Toby Keith/Lee Greenwood songs.
So Osama gets to party with 72 people from Richmond? I'm confused.
Kenny and Osama sittin' in a tree
K I S S I N G
etc, etc, etc
It doesn't make sense because the moran screwed up the verb tenses. There were 70-some Seals involved in the raid, and they were based in Virhinia so they are "Virginians." It would have made sense if he said "I wish I was ("were," but he probably has no grasp of the subjunctive) one of the 72 Virginians Osama got to hang out with last weekend." Get it?
If he were there, we could make Emerson Lake and Palmer jokes, about how "70 Virginians and a tool" took out Osama.
Although dolphins are not alone in the animal world of gang-rapists, research suggests they’ve the perfected the art to a degree unseen in any other species, and it seems they don’t limit their advances to their female partners, either: there are several reports claiming divers and swimmers have also been accosted.
More proof that Virginia Beach is for lovers!
I never reported it to police. Sometimes I just sit in the shower and cry. That dolphin said I was special!
One lesser known Greek myth is that the god Dionysus was once kidnapped by a bunch of pirates who wanted to buttsecks him. But instead he turned them into dolphins. I believe I now have some idea where that story came from.
Sigh. And people ask why I don't want to move home.
I personally find it refreshing that Gen. Cuccinelli would open up about his inner life in this fashion and wish you meansters would stop mocking him for it.
This sort of sharing should be encouraged
Sounds like someone has a pre-existing condition. Too bad this will disqualify him from Virgina's Obama-proofed health case system.
Also, too, he is one of those passive-aggressive narcissists who LIKES it when noone gets his jokes, he thinks it proves he is smarter.
…and then the penguin says, "What do I look like, a radio?" Ha ha ha, stupid liberals.
In his defense, on April 30th he did tweet that "Hundreds of pounds of drugs taken in just in prince william county so far!" So, he was likely wasted out of his mind.
Repubs never apologize, never retreat… not even over a typo…
Osama got 72 problems but a Virginan ain't one…
Coochie, coochie, Nellie, Nellie.
that's so funny ken!
Total dick; tiny, but total.
Still makes more sense then Gra$$ley
I think these Repugs should stop embarrassing themselves by attempting to post short, snarky comments on Twitter and other social media. That's a job best left to the real professionals at Wonkette.
Maybe more of an Avaulta Twitter Mesh?
Mind the erosion, though.
Ken always hoped that his BFs would call him "Cooch" for a nickname but they really just call him "Cuntface".
Shut up, moron.
Shut up, moran.
So the punchline is: "I wish my anus had fewer miles on it, for Bin Laden!" (?)
Good joke… I guess. Probably hits too close to home for his co-workers and friends that have to deal with his constant butt leakage.
This must be just like living in paradise…
So gay. So very, very gay. And stupid. Your basic right wing Republican male. Nothing to see here, move along.
So . . . I still don't get it. What does he want?
I think he wants someone to 'shoot' him in his 'eye' too.
Some ppl should learn they are not suited to tweeting…like him.
And here I thought all the conservative bitching about bin Laden's death was that they are still pissed the President of the United States is a black Democrat, not that they were wanting to be the cave bin Laden was hiding in.
I think Virginans is what you call someone from the Virgin Islands.
it was not a typo, but a typo. IT IS *THESE* WONDERFUL ENTERTAINMENT MOMENTS THAT MAKE ME PROUD TO BE AMERICAN. Thank you, God, for morons.
I think it's an anagram for "Avaulta".
This isn't news. Find me any office serving american who doesn't like sex parties!!!
Why the heck should that terrorist get all the fun to himself?
So, Grace had the strap-on?
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