flotus files

Michelle Obama Would Like To Teach Your Child How To ‘Dougie’

That's MRS. Flotus to you...Finally, after a few boring weeks of now-forgotten aviation incidents and answering kids’ dumb questions over and over, our FLOTUS had a pretty great week! And she deserved it, because the stress from all that bin Laden business was starting to make the vegetables wilt. But the blood of Osama has revived the veggies, and with them, the spirit of the Let’s Move! campaign. Last week, Michelle Obama encouraged all the children to do something called a “Dougie,” apparently to benefit their physical fitness.

Michelle Obama visited Alice Deal Middle School on Tuesday to participate in a “Flash Workout,” which is when children drop all their Oreos to spontaneously break into a pre-choreographed dance. You have probably already seen this video of Michelle dancing to Beyoncé with her Army of Youths, because it is all over the YouTube. But perhaps you have not read about it in the UK’s Guardian.

Barack Obama shook the world with the seismic news that his near-namesake was, almost literally, sleeping with the fishes. But the next day, it was his wife Michelle doing the shaking. Shaking that ass, to be precise.

Excuse us, United Kingdom, some respect please? This is the First Lady of the United States. She does not just “shake that ass.” She does so much more than that.

Footage has emerged of Michelle Obama throwing shapes in front of hundreds of American high-school students to the strains of Beyoncé’s “Move Your Body.” And how she moves hers. First Obama shuffles slowly, gracefully on the spot. Then, seconds later, she flips into gear, grinding from side to side, rolling her hips, and twisting her fists through the air like she’s driving a souped-up Hummer.

And it is just as wonderful as it sounds! Here is the video of our FLOTUS doing these hip-hop dance moves, in case you somehow managed to not see it:

[Guardian/ABC News]

Blair Burke (blairelinor@gmail.com) obsessively follows Michelle Obama’s every move for “The FLOTUS Files,” which appears every Monday here at your Wonkette.

About the author

Blair Burke obsessively follows Michelle Obama's every move and fashion decision for Wonkette's The FLOTUS Files feature, which appears here every Monday.

View all articles by Blair Burke
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  1. DashboardBuddha

    Like many people, I have had my disappointments with Barry…but overall I have to say, I really like these people.

  2. Sophist [غني عن ذلك]

    She can teach me any day.

    …because, as a product of the American education system, I am woefully ignorant and need all the help I can get.

    1. mayor_quimby

      I think I'm on a watchlist of some sort now after watching that video.
      Can anybody explain what the fuck a melph is?

  3. BaldarTFlagass

    This conversation grows tiresome. Now is the part of the program where we dance.

        1. horsedreamer_1

          The First Lady is actually being played by Kyle Mc Lachlan in blackface & drag?

          Honestly, I don't know who that offends more: the blacks, or the gays.

  4. mavenmaven

    …its all this illegal immigration soon we will all be in reeducation camps with mandatory zumba…

  5. BaldarTFlagass

    I can just hear the troglodytes already, "Lookie that shit, damn nigras jumpin' around like a bunch of fleas."

  6. freakishlywrong

    I"m sure there was a conspiracy laden, hate filled reaction from the right. Thank God they got too distracted by a shiny terrorist and got busy promoting torture, so we could be spared hearing it..

  7. Beowoof

    Somehow I can't imagine Laura Bush doing this, unless there were lighted cigarettes that had dropped down the front of her pant suit.

    1. HELisforHEL

      Possibly after 3 or 4 martinis and a couple of Paxils. Also known as 'Just Another Day In The Life of Laura "Pickles" Bush'.

      1. mayor_quimby

        I think my secret girlfriend Michelle gets her wine on every now and then. I think we have forgotten what it was like after 8 years of having a president who had to treat booze like kryptonite because he had "a problem". The WH sommelier is glad he doesn't have to stock 3 kinds of sparkling apple juice anymore.
        I've drank a lot, but never enough to drive me to jeebus.
        Anyhoo, in my fantasies, the Obamas get their freak on while sippin' the leftover champagne after a nice state dinner.

    1. DashboardBuddha

      Barbara would do the Foxtrot, but young people today wouldn't understand and besides, her back isn't what it used to be.

  8. Tundra Grifter

    When I first read that headline I thought it was "Teach Your Child How to 'Doggie.'"

    That I certainly would watch.

    Too early on Monday morning?

  9. Serolf_Divad

    Dang, video I blocked at work. I guess I'll have to wait for Der Tzitung's coverage of this event.

  10. MinAgain

    There are worse things than a First Lady who's willing to shake her groove thing for America's children.

  11. SayItWithWookies

    Looks like the Obamas locked up all the valuable booty the Republicans wouldn't be able to find in a thousand years.

  12. LabRodent

    I Guess that Stepford wife first lady shit is officially blown out the water. You go girl

  13. nicnack74

    Color me the supergeek. I actually looked for the choreograpy on Youtube, and I will be trying to get one of my aerobic instructors to take this on. I loves this routine. My socialist kenyan islamofacist indoctrination is complete.

  14. x111e7thst

    But Laura Bush served as a example of the dangers of Xanax abuse. That should count for something too.

  15. KeepFnThatChicken

    I must also say, though, that this kind of behavior is encouraging… if we weren't full-on swinging from HFCS back to sugar. That's like going from Tony Orlando & Dawn to Tony Orlando.

  16. Limeylizzie

    I, as a straight woman, would totally hit that. God, I have insane love for the First Lady, I also really love that chartreuse silk blouson.

      1. Limeylizzie

        Neither could I , being blessed with the giant rack and a freakishly short-waist, that gorgeous blouse would make me look pregnant and it would also come down to my knees.

    1. Goonemeritus

      I love her too but the blouse I would wear once and then it would just hang in the closet.

    2. HELisforHEL

      She really is the essence of fucking awesome, isn't she? I as a straight lady, would be reduced to a giggly mad-crush school girl in her presence, I admit it.

      1. Limeylizzie

        I am in such awe of her, she is so smart, beautiful and she must be huge fun, she is just cracking up in that video.

    3. MozakiBlocks

      Barry is the coolest, most bad-assed mutha ninja President ever precisely because he is HITTING THAT!!!!!!!!

  17. V572..whatever

    Some writer at the Guardian has apparently never seen "Soul Train," or perhaps any African-American people at all. And also ("twisting her fists through the air like she’s driving a souped-up Hummer") never taken English composition.

        1. Chet Kincaid

          Used to be over here too. I snickered in a juvenile fashion the first few times I heard people calling them Hummers.

          We should name all new vehicles with sexy talk! Ford Priapus! Dodge Coitus! Kia Frottage! Vulvo!

          1. Limeylizzie

            Hey Baby, I am going to be in your fair city next week for a couple of months, the air will be charged with the sexiness and it will be headed your way like a miasma of erotica. Just so you know

          2. Limeylizzie

            MrLimeylizzie is designing a TV pilot that is shooting in Chicago, he arrived today with our cats, I will be flying in next Tuesday, I will go back and forth for a couple of weeks, because of auditions and stuff, but once June hits NYC is dead .I am so excited to be going back.

          3. Limeylizzie

            MrLimeylizzie is designing a TV pilot that is shooting in Chicago, he is bringing our cats in from LA today and I wll be joining them all next week. The studio is renting us a loft in Fulton River District, which I don't know at all, but it looks like a very cool place.

    1. HELisforHEL

      Some writer at the Guardian certainly appears to suffer from Whitey McWhiterson syndrome. Newsflash, English rag paper…it's 2011. We don't dance the Minuet anymore.

  18. mereoblivion

    To which University of Dance ought I apply in order to learn how to cavort mine own posterior in likesome fashion?

  19. riverside68

    Once again Barak show the whole multiple marrage adulterous geekly repugs how it is done: Do it Right the First Time.

    Eat your heart out Repugs, you will never in your life have as good as Michelle, the smoking hot leader of the First Wives Club.

      1. Negropolis

        And, that's why he's the back-up, back-up quarterback for the Lions, right there. I remember watching the guy when he went to Michigan State. He tries so very hard, bless his heart.

  20. elviouslyqueer

    Oh dear, our enthusiasm over Michelle's smooth grooves seems to have offended a downfister's delicate sensibilities. Either that, or it's pissed that she's not doing the Macarena.

  21. EatsBabyDingos

    Oh Michelle, you can regulate my militia anytime, because you have the Right to Bare Arms!

    And not to go all mooslim, but you remind me of the great Sheik Yerbooty!

  22. pinkocommi

    I'd like to see her dance to "Back that Ass Up" just to see the birthers' heads explode.

  23. nappyduggs

    The joy–oh, Lord, the joy! Lookit, American fatties. This is how is should jiggle when you wiggle. And, I don't want to promote any type of Black-on-Black hateration, but–

    Your move, Condoleeza Rice.

    1. axmxz

      No need for hateration – Doctor Rice can provide piano accompaniment to the next Dougie!

  24. ChessieNefercat

    OT but FLOTUS related. FLOTUS gave the commencement address at the University of Northern Iowa this past weekend, I believe. Did anyone hear if Little Miss Brat Manners carried out her trailer-trash-against-the-FLOTUS protest?

  25. fuflans

    i bet this is the most sexed up white house in american history.

    or at least, it's the only sexed up white house in american history that i can bear to contemplate.

  26. ingloriousbytch

    And yet I bet Sasha and Malia roll their eyes at the mere thought of seeing their mom dance.

  27. James Michael Curley

    I thought "Doing the Dougie" meant you admitted to being gay but play a sex craved homphobe who will date rape anything in a skirt.

  28. Poindexter718

    BREAKING: The UN Security Council has designated the Obama WH a Super Fly-Zone.

  29. Worthly[♬♪♬♪♫♪♬]Skum

    What I love about watching this is Michele is clearly really poised and comfortable with movement and her body, and could really rock it if she wanted to, but keeps correcting herself to be more reserved before the cameras, lest she appear undignified. Interesting dynamic.

    1. problemwithcaring

      Reminds me of my mom chaperoning the school dance when the old school Michael Jackson song comes on. Embarrassing as hell, but can't help it.

  30. BerkeleyBear

    Nice list (although I'm not as fond of Tamron – I dunno why). I find Rachel wildly attractive despite the fact she'd want nothing to do with me.

    I've never had a guy I'd switch teams for, but if I had to do a stint in prison or the French Foreign Legion, I'd like the President as my cell mate, if you know what I'm saying.

    1. Limeylizzie

      I think Tamron has the most fantastic skin and Rachel is just manly enough that I would feel as if I were doing it with a teenaged boy! I think women are much less freaked by girl-on-girl action than men are about having another man touch their parts.

  31. Negropolis

    Shaking that ass, to be precise.

    Sir-or-madam, you forget yourself! "Shaking that ass"? Surriously? She does not such thing. In Chicago, that's called dancing.

    I know you Brits think you can just say any ole thing about Americans, particularly controversial situations, being so removed form the society and all, but niggas please with this!

    But, to be serious for a moment, something about this feels so right, so very right. How folks get away with criticizing these two so bitterly on a personal level is beyond me.

  32. ttommyunger

    Love Rachel, love FLOTUS, being a geezer, don't know Hall. Would love to watch though, any or all three.

  33. ttommyunger

    She threads a fine needle: Sexy, classy and intelligent. Not many women can pull that off.

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