FLOTUS FILES  12:47 pm May 9, 2011

Michelle Obama Would Like To Teach Your Child How To ‘Dougie’

by Blair Burke

That's MRS. Flotus to you...Finally, after a few boring weeks of now-forgotten aviation incidents and answering kids’ dumb questions over and over, our FLOTUS had a pretty great week! And she deserved it, because the stress from all that bin Laden business was starting to make the vegetables wilt. But the blood of Osama has revived the veggies, and with them, the spirit of the Let’s Move! campaign. Last week, Michelle Obama encouraged all the children to do something called a “Dougie,” apparently to benefit their physical fitness.

Michelle Obama visited Alice Deal Middle School on Tuesday to participate in a “Flash Workout,” which is when children drop all their Oreos to spontaneously break into a pre-choreographed dance. You have probably already seen this video of Michelle dancing to Beyoncé with her Army of Youths, because it is all over the YouTube. But perhaps you have not read about it in the UK’s Guardian.

Barack Obama shook the world with the seismic news that his near-namesake was, almost literally, sleeping with the fishes. But the next day, it was his wife Michelle doing the shaking. Shaking that ass, to be precise.

Excuse us, United Kingdom, some respect please? This is the First Lady of the United States. She does not just “shake that ass.” She does so much more than that.

Footage has emerged of Michelle Obama throwing shapes in front of hundreds of American high-school students to the strains of Beyoncé’s “Move Your Body.” And how she moves hers. First Obama shuffles slowly, gracefully on the spot. Then, seconds later, she flips into gear, grinding from side to side, rolling her hips, and twisting her fists through the air like she’s driving a souped-up Hummer.

And it is just as wonderful as it sounds! Here is the video of our FLOTUS doing these hip-hop dance moves, in case you somehow managed to not see it:

[Guardian/ABC News]

Blair Burke (blairelinor@gmail.com) obsessively follows Michelle Obama’s every move for “The FLOTUS Files,” which appears every Monday here at your Wonkette.

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 106 comments }

loulouroo May 9, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Back. That. Ass. UP!

horsedreamer_1 May 9, 2011 at 1:00 pm

Juvenile is the Poet Laureate of New Orleans.

DashboardBuddha May 9, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Like many people, I have had my disappointments with Barry…but overall I have to say, I really like these people.

nounverb911 May 9, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Her dance was certainly less embarrassing than Bush's.

Sophist [غني عن ذلك] May 9, 2011 at 12:51 pm

She can teach me any day.

…because, as a product of the American education system, I am woefully ignorant and need all the help I can get.

loulouroo May 9, 2011 at 12:51 pm

And New Orleans children get to pop booty to the latest Tranny Bounce hit because, well, we're special like that.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8ZeYslcGNg

elviouslyqueer May 9, 2011 at 1:06 pm

Those lovely girls obviously honed their technique doing some pole dancing for Jesus.

mayor_quimby May 9, 2011 at 6:20 pm

I think I'm on a watchlist of some sort now after watching that video.
Can anybody explain what the fuck a melph is?

loulouroo May 9, 2011 at 7:53 pm

"Melph" is a colloquialism for the Melpomene Projects.

BaldarTFlagass May 9, 2011 at 12:52 pm

This conversation grows tiresome. Now is the part of the program where we dance.

loulouroo May 9, 2011 at 12:56 pm

Touch my monkey!

freakishlywrong May 9, 2011 at 1:09 pm

"minky"..touch my minky.

horsedreamer_1 May 9, 2011 at 1:27 pm

The First Lady is actually being played by Kyle Mc Lachlan in blackface & drag?

Honestly, I don't know who that offends more: the blacks, or the gays.

memzilla May 9, 2011 at 12:53 pm

"Move Your Body" is advice we're glad Osama ignored.

mavenmaven May 9, 2011 at 12:53 pm

…its all this illegal immigration soon we will all be in reeducation camps with mandatory zumba…

iburl May 9, 2011 at 12:53 pm

Best First Lady Ever. USA! USA! USA!

Callyson May 9, 2011 at 12:53 pm

I am LMFAO just trying to imaging Limpballs keeping up…

memzilla May 9, 2011 at 12:55 pm

Yargh. FUPA and Moobs, not pretty. Could be a Faux News team, though.

BaldarTFlagass May 9, 2011 at 12:54 pm

I can just hear the troglodytes already, "Lookie that shit, damn nigras jumpin' around like a bunch of fleas."

skoalrebel May 9, 2011 at 12:57 pm

Lookie that shit, damn nigras jumpin' around like a bunch of fleas

horsedreamer_1 May 9, 2011 at 1:06 pm

Call-&-response is a bit too black spiritual for ye, is it not?

freakishlywrong May 9, 2011 at 12:55 pm

I"m sure there was a conspiracy laden, hate filled reaction from the right. Thank God they got too distracted by a shiny terrorist and got busy promoting torture, so we could be spared hearing it..

Beowoof May 9, 2011 at 12:55 pm

Somehow I can't imagine Laura Bush doing this, unless there were lighted cigarettes that had dropped down the front of her pant suit.

HELisforHEL May 9, 2011 at 1:30 pm

Possibly after 3 or 4 martinis and a couple of Paxils. Also known as 'Just Another Day In The Life of Laura "Pickles" Bush'.

zhubajie May 9, 2011 at 7:50 pm

She was tranq'ed to the eyebrows, the ultimate Stepford Wife.

Captain_Quark May 9, 2011 at 12:56 pm

Well, in the first lady dance-off, she finishes well ahead of Betty Ford.

riverside68 May 9, 2011 at 1:13 pm

Not fair, Michelle is sober (probably)

mayor_quimby May 9, 2011 at 6:29 pm

I think my secret girlfriend Michelle gets her wine on every now and then. I think we have forgotten what it was like after 8 years of having a president who had to treat booze like kryptonite because he had "a problem". The WH sommelier is glad he doesn't have to stock 3 kinds of sparkling apple juice anymore.
I've drank a lot, but never enough to drive me to jeebus.
Anyhoo, in my fantasies, the Obamas get their freak on while sippin' the leftover champagne after a nice state dinner.

KeepFnThatChicken May 9, 2011 at 12:56 pm

Laura, Barbara (and even Hillary):

Beat that.

DashboardBuddha May 9, 2011 at 1:21 pm

Barbara would do the Foxtrot, but young people today wouldn't understand and besides, her back isn't what it used to be.

fuflans May 9, 2011 at 1:48 pm

especially hillary.

Tundra Grifter May 9, 2011 at 12:56 pm

When I first read that headline I thought it was "Teach Your Child How to 'Doggie.'"

That I certainly would watch.

Too early on Monday morning?

nounverb911 May 9, 2011 at 12:59 pm

Rick "Man on Dog" Santorum wants to watch!

Serolf_Divad May 9, 2011 at 12:57 pm

Dang, video I blocked at work. I guess I'll have to wait for Der Tzitung's coverage of this event.

MinAgain May 9, 2011 at 12:57 pm

There are worse things than a First Lady who's willing to shake her groove thing for America's children.

SayItWithWookies May 9, 2011 at 12:58 pm

Looks like the Obamas locked up all the valuable booty the Republicans wouldn't be able to find in a thousand years.

LabRodent May 9, 2011 at 12:59 pm

I Guess that Stepford wife first lady shit is officially blown out the water. You go girl

nicnack74 May 9, 2011 at 1:00 pm

Color me the supergeek. I actually looked for the choreograpy on Youtube, and I will be trying to get one of my aerobic instructors to take this on. I loves this routine. My socialist kenyan islamofacist indoctrination is complete.

x111e7thst May 9, 2011 at 1:00 pm

But Laura Bush served as a example of the dangers of Xanax abuse. That should count for something too.

zhubajie May 9, 2011 at 7:51 pm

Also the dangers of marrying into the Bush dynasty….

ttommyunger May 10, 2011 at 11:42 am

So? I'll bet Michelle's never killed a kid with an automobile, so there!

Texan_Bulldog May 9, 2011 at 1:00 pm

That poor woman next to Michelle has about as much rhythm as dog toy.

horsedreamer_1 May 9, 2011 at 1:00 pm
MommysFetusJar May 9, 2011 at 1:00 pm

I ain't got nothin' but mad love for my FLOTUS!

AutomaticPilot May 9, 2011 at 1:38 pm

That upfist I gave you was mostly for your screen name.

neiltheblaze May 9, 2011 at 1:01 pm

Michele Obama is teh awesome. I have a gay boy crush on her.

KeepFnThatChicken May 9, 2011 at 1:04 pm

I must also say, though, that this kind of behavior is encouraging… if we weren't full-on swinging from HFCS back to sugar. That's like going from Tony Orlando & Dawn to Tony Orlando.

Limeylizzie May 9, 2011 at 1:04 pm

I, as a straight woman, would totally hit that. God, I have insane love for the First Lady, I also really love that chartreuse silk blouson.

nicnack74 May 9, 2011 at 1:11 pm

I know! I so want that blouse, but I couldnt' pull it off the way she does.

riverside68 May 9, 2011 at 1:24 pm

Wait a minute, when does she pull it off?

I gotta watch that video again.

nicnack74 May 9, 2011 at 1:29 pm

Well done sir!

*/Hat tip.

Limeylizzie May 11, 2011 at 4:41 pm

Neither could I , being blessed with the giant rack and a freakishly short-waist, that gorgeous blouse would make me look pregnant and it would also come down to my knees.

Goonemeritus May 9, 2011 at 1:22 pm

I love her too but the blouse I would wear once and then it would just hang in the closet.

HELisforHEL May 9, 2011 at 1:33 pm

She really is the essence of fucking awesome, isn't she? I as a straight lady, would be reduced to a giggly mad-crush school girl in her presence, I admit it.

Limeylizzie May 11, 2011 at 4:41 pm

I am in such awe of her, she is so smart, beautiful and she must be huge fun, she is just cracking up in that video.

MozakiBlocks May 9, 2011 at 1:37 pm

Barry is the coolest, most bad-assed mutha ninja President ever precisely because he is HITTING THAT!!!!!!!!

ttommyunger May 10, 2011 at 11:45 am

May I introduce the true Alpha and Omega of Fuckability: ttommy and Michelle.

V572..whatever May 9, 2011 at 1:06 pm

Some writer at the Guardian has apparently never seen "Soul Train," or perhaps any African-American people at all. And also ("twisting her fists through the air like she’s driving a souped-up Hummer") never taken English composition.

BaldarTFlagass May 9, 2011 at 1:14 pm

Maybe the Brits think a Hummer is some kind of motorcycle.

Limeylizzie May 9, 2011 at 1:25 pm

No, we think that a hummer is another word for blow-job.

Chet Kincaid May 9, 2011 at 1:39 pm

Used to be over here too. I snickered in a juvenile fashion the first few times I heard people calling them Hummers.

We should name all new vehicles with sexy talk! Ford Priapus! Dodge Coitus! Kia Frottage! Vulvo!

Limeylizzie May 9, 2011 at 2:21 pm

Hey Baby, I am going to be in your fair city next week for a couple of months, the air will be charged with the sexiness and it will be headed your way like a miasma of erotica. Just so you know

horsedreamer_1 May 9, 2011 at 1:29 pm

Don't be such a gash.

HELisforHEL May 9, 2011 at 1:35 pm

Some writer at the Guardian certainly appears to suffer from Whitey McWhiterson syndrome. Newsflash, English rag paper…it's 2011. We don't dance the Minuet anymore.

kittenbomb May 9, 2011 at 2:29 pm

I call bullshit on this "story." If this were a real UK paper, wouldn't they say "shaking that ARSE"?

mereoblivion May 9, 2011 at 1:09 pm

To which University of Dance ought I apply in order to learn how to cavort mine own posterior in likesome fashion?

riverside68 May 9, 2011 at 1:20 pm

Once again Barak show the whole multiple marrage adulterous geekly repugs how it is done: Do it Right the First Time.

Eat your heart out Repugs, you will never in your life have as good as Michelle, the smoking hot leader of the First Wives Club.

Geminisunmars May 9, 2011 at 2:04 pm

The First and Only Wives Club

GregComlish May 9, 2011 at 1:21 pm

Michelle Obama dislikes Oreos? I never would have guessed.

Wadisay May 9, 2011 at 1:21 pm

White people who find this difficult may do the hokey-pokey instead.

Limeylizzie May 9, 2011 at 1:25 pm

You win.

horsedreamer_1 May 9, 2011 at 1:31 pm

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&biw=1260&a

They can follow the lead of very white Detroit Lions third-string quarterback Drew Stanton (who also looks like the lesbian softball coach at an NCAA division 3 school).

Negropolis May 10, 2011 at 3:13 am

And, that's why he's the back-up, back-up quarterback for the Lions, right there. I remember watching the guy when he went to Michigan State. He tries so very hard, bless his heart.

Toomush_Infer May 9, 2011 at 4:08 pm

That's what it's all about…

Negropolis May 10, 2011 at 3:09 am

Also,the chicken dance. Also.

elviouslyqueer May 9, 2011 at 1:25 pm

Oh dear, our enthusiasm over Michelle's smooth grooves seems to have offended a downfister's delicate sensibilities. Either that, or it's pissed that she's not doing the Macarena.

EatsBabyDingos May 9, 2011 at 1:27 pm

Oh Michelle, you can regulate my militia anytime, because you have the Right to Bare Arms!

And not to go all mooslim, but you remind me of the great Sheik Yerbooty!

kittenbomb May 9, 2011 at 2:26 pm

Zappa reference FTW!

Toomush_Infer May 9, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Unlike the Bush Beat Goes On and I'm So Wrong Mooslem handhold…

pinkocommi May 9, 2011 at 1:28 pm

I'd like to see her dance to "Back that Ass Up" just to see the birthers' heads explode.

nappyduggs May 9, 2011 at 1:32 pm

The joy–oh, Lord, the joy! Lookit, American fatties. This is how is should jiggle when you wiggle. And, I don't want to promote any type of Black-on-Black hateration, but–

Your move, Condoleeza Rice.

axmxz May 9, 2011 at 4:58 pm

No need for hateration – Doctor Rice can provide piano accompaniment to the next Dougie!

Negropolis May 10, 2011 at 3:14 am

That. Would. Be. Awesome.

Chet Kincaid May 9, 2011 at 1:32 pm

If you like it too bad Barry put a ring on it!

Negropolis May 10, 2011 at 3:15 am

WIN

Chet Kincaid May 9, 2011 at 1:34 pm

You need Michael Steele for that.

ChessieNefercat May 9, 2011 at 1:39 pm

OT but FLOTUS related. FLOTUS gave the commencement address at the University of Northern Iowa this past weekend, I believe. Did anyone hear if Little Miss Brat Manners carried out her trailer-trash-against-the-FLOTUS protest?

fuflans May 9, 2011 at 1:55 pm

i bet this is the most sexed up white house in american history.

or at least, it's the only sexed up white house in american history that i can bear to contemplate.

DaRooster May 9, 2011 at 3:02 pm

At least "most sexed up" between the actual "First Couple".

ingloriousbytch May 9, 2011 at 1:59 pm

And yet I bet Sasha and Malia roll their eyes at the mere thought of seeing their mom dance.

axmxz May 9, 2011 at 4:59 pm

All parents are embarrassing, regardless of anything.

James Michael Curley May 9, 2011 at 2:08 pm

I thought "Doing the Dougie" meant you admitted to being gay but play a sex craved homphobe who will date rape anything in a skirt.

Poindexter718 May 9, 2011 at 2:17 pm

BREAKING: The UN Security Council has designated the Obama WH a Super Fly-Zone.

Negropolis May 10, 2011 at 3:16 am

Also WIN. Also.

Worthly[♬♪♬♪♫♪♬]Skum May 9, 2011 at 3:18 pm

What I love about watching this is Michele is clearly really poised and comfortable with movement and her body, and could really rock it if she wanted to, but keeps correcting herself to be more reserved before the cameras, lest she appear undignified. Interesting dynamic.

problemwithcaring May 10, 2011 at 12:17 pm

Reminds me of my mom chaperoning the school dance when the old school Michael Jackson song comes on. Embarrassing as hell, but can't help it.

BerkeleyBear May 9, 2011 at 5:46 pm

Nice list (although I'm not as fond of Tamron – I dunno why). I find Rachel wildly attractive despite the fact she'd want nothing to do with me.

I've never had a guy I'd switch teams for, but if I had to do a stint in prison or the French Foreign Legion, I'd like the President as my cell mate, if you know what I'm saying.

Limeylizzie May 11, 2011 at 4:45 pm

I think Tamron has the most fantastic skin and Rachel is just manly enough that I would feel as if I were doing it with a teenaged boy! I think women are much less freaked by girl-on-girl action than men are about having another man touch their parts.

Negropolis May 10, 2011 at 2:54 am

Shaking that ass, to be precise.

Sir-or-madam, you forget yourself! "Shaking that ass"? Surriously? She does not such thing. In Chicago, that's called dancing.

I know you Brits think you can just say any ole thing about Americans, particularly controversial situations, being so removed form the society and all, but niggas please with this!

But, to be serious for a moment, something about this feels so right, so very right. How folks get away with criticizing these two so bitterly on a personal level is beyond me.

102415 May 10, 2011 at 4:36 am

They don't have anything else to do.

ttommyunger May 10, 2011 at 11:49 am

Love Rachel, love FLOTUS, being a geezer, don't know Hall. Would love to watch though, any or all three.

ttommyunger May 10, 2011 at 11:50 am

She threads a fine needle: Sexy, classy and intelligent. Not many women can pull that off.

starfanglednut May 10, 2011 at 8:49 pm

Limes, does you haz teh bisexualities?

Chet Kincaid May 9, 2011 at 2:33 pm

Tease! What will you be doing here, besides shaking pheremones everywhere like pixie dust? And do you own a Tinker Bell outfit?

Limeylizzie May 9, 2011 at 5:41 pm

MrLimeylizzie is designing a TV pilot that is shooting in Chicago, he arrived today with our cats, I will be flying in next Tuesday, I will go back and forth for a couple of weeks, because of auditions and stuff, but once June hits NYC is dead .I am so excited to be going back.

Limeylizzie May 11, 2011 at 4:44 pm

MrLimeylizzie is designing a TV pilot that is shooting in Chicago, he is bringing our cats in from LA today and I wll be joining them all next week. The studio is renting us a loft in Fulton River District, which I don't know at all, but it looks like a very cool place.

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