FUNNY BIN LADEN JOKES  12:25 pm May 4, 2011

Texas Teacher Mocks Muslim Student After Osama Killing

by Ken Layne

Hey Mexico, do you want Texas back? You can have your drug war there!A Houston high school teacher found a great way to talk about the exciting news of Osama bin Laden’s killing: He told a Muslim girl in his ninth grade algebra class, “I bet you’re grieving.” Ha ha, just a topical joke! And then he added, “Hey, algebra is Muslim, too. I bet algebra is grieving.” Not really! He probably thinks algebra was delivered by White Jesus on a T-Rex during an Astros’ game at the Confederate States of America’s Alamo Dome in 1861. The school district put the teacher on administrative leave. What’s with these liberal activist school boards bending over for the terrorists?

TPM reports:

A Texas high school teacher has been placed on administrative leave following an incident where he allegedly told a 9th grade Muslim girl in his algebra class “I bet that you’re grieving” on Monday following the death of Osama bin Laden.

According to one parent at Clear Brook High School in Houston who spoke about the incident to a local ABC affiliate, the teacher also said, “I heard about your uncle’s death.”

The teacher allegedly showed no remorse after Muslim girl reacted to his comments ….

[Talking Points Memo]

 
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{ 206 comments }

walstib May 4, 2011 at 12:28 pm

In related news, rednecks fuck their cousins.

Omophagist May 4, 2011 at 12:34 pm

Really? I heard sheep.

elviouslyqueer May 4, 2011 at 12:37 pm

That's more of an Arkansas specialty.

bflrtsplk May 4, 2011 at 12:37 pm

Is there a difference?

Karma_Suture May 4, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Yep…. sheep have more teeth.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 4, 2011 at 1:42 pm

Well, to be fair, when everyone in town is your cousin, it IS hard to avoid.

PS: how do you guys get italics in your posts? Nothing I try does the trick.

OneDollarJuana May 4, 2011 at 2:53 pm

end with , start with

WhatTheHolyHeck May 4, 2011 at 5:14 pm

Maaaagic

[i]text[/i] but use carets instead of square brackets

Biel_ze_Bubba May 4, 2011 at 8:27 pm

Like this?

Oh wow. I feel empowered now.

Freakin' carets – who knew? Gotta brush up on my IRC skillz.

bflrtsplk May 14, 2011 at 6:00 am

[i]italics[/i]

bflrtsplk May 14, 2011 at 6:02 am

^italics^

Swampgas_Man May 4, 2011 at 5:57 pm

In related related news, fuck this "teacher".

freakishlywrong May 4, 2011 at 12:28 pm

Dear Texas, you and Oklahoma please start packing your bags.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 4, 2011 at 1:51 pm

But do leave Austin on the back porch … we'll be around to pick it up later.

Ohforcripessake May 4, 2011 at 2:01 pm

Hey now, there are a lot of good, decent people living in every state. Unfortunately there are also a lot of stupid MF'ing a$$holes (like the teacher in this article) living in every state too, also.

finallyhappy May 4, 2011 at 4:04 pm

Hey, this is Wonkette- so no, you are wrong.

SonofSpermcube May 4, 2011 at 9:27 pm

Some are more blessed with motherfucking assholes than others. The levels, conveniently, roughly correspond with electoral maps.

Negropolis May 4, 2011 at 11:10 pm

Bingo.

DustBowlBlues May 4, 2011 at 3:22 pm

Ahem!

CookiE_MonstA May 4, 2011 at 12:29 pm

Ugh. I heard yesterday that some fools smashed in the windows of an Egyptian Coffee shop here in Milwaukee. Freaking Jingo Idiots! Time for the DoD and the DoE to swap budgets.

chicken_thief May 4, 2011 at 12:57 pm

In fairness to the Milwaukee bigots, Egyptian muslins are like the red headed step-children of the muslin pecking order – even al Quaida looks down on them.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 4, 2011 at 1:46 pm

"even al Quaida looks down on them"

I wasn't aware that they looked up to anybody (other than Mohammed's imaginary evil twin.)

poncho_pilot May 4, 2011 at 12:29 pm

and he did it with that muslin, Alcohol.

Badonkadonkette May 4, 2011 at 12:30 pm

A Texas high school teacher has been placed on administrative leave following an incident where he allegedly told a 9th grade Muslim girl in his algebra class “I bet that you’re grieving”

Of course. Texas doesn't allow its teachers to gamble.

genxr May 4, 2011 at 12:36 pm

Students, your assignment today is to find a muslim girl and make her cry.

freakishlywrong May 4, 2011 at 12:37 pm

Nothing a hollow point couldn't fix.

JustPixelz May 4, 2011 at 12:56 pm

She should have taken the bet. Let him put a couple hundred thousand bucks on the proposition that all Muslims are grieving. Then she could "grieve" all the way to the bank.

Sophist [غني عن ذلك] May 4, 2011 at 12:31 pm

The teacher allegedly showed no remorse after Muslim girl reacted to his comments ….

Of course not. To feel remorse you have to have a soul.

walstib May 4, 2011 at 12:33 pm

Teacher's a ginger?

Chillwaver May 4, 2011 at 12:44 pm

I bet this idiot will "apologize" in the form of "I'm sorry if you were offended by my comments."

twaingirl May 4, 2011 at 12:58 pm

Is it the teacher's fault that Muslins' don't have senses of humor?

GOPCrusher May 4, 2011 at 2:06 pm

There won't be an apology. It will be a tirade about how Xtians are persecuted in this country. How someone is getting Sharia Law jammed down their throat.

OC_Slurpee_Serf May 4, 2011 at 12:31 pm

…it only 'cause the teacher grieved when they death-injected Timothy McVeigh.

genxr May 4, 2011 at 12:37 pm

You mean his uncle McViegh? Of course he did. He's at home crying right now!

rambone May 4, 2011 at 12:32 pm

Hate-speech is always better left to the foreign language classes.
e.g.: "Los 'towel heads' son muertos. ¿Donde es la zapateria por mi camel-fucker tio Osama?"

genxr May 4, 2011 at 12:39 pm

Clase, repitan. Quien es el pendejo? El profesor es el pendejo.

horsedreamer_1 May 4, 2011 at 12:50 pm

Getting a very Peggy Hill (Sarah Palin?) vibe from this.

Zvi_Bleindmeis May 4, 2011 at 12:59 pm

Like the soldiers raising the flag on Iwo Hima.

tessiee May 5, 2011 at 6:42 pm

"¿Donde es la zapateria"

Tr: Where is the shoe store?

nounverb911 May 4, 2011 at 12:32 pm

The teacher needs to go hunting with Dick Cheney.

DashboardBuddha May 4, 2011 at 12:49 pm

Or swimming with OBL.

flamingpdog May 4, 2011 at 6:10 pm

WIN-WIN!

nounverb911 May 4, 2011 at 12:33 pm

F**k Texas.

baconzgood May 4, 2011 at 12:36 pm

I second that.

walstib May 4, 2011 at 12:44 pm

I move for a vote on the motion.

V572..whatever May 4, 2011 at 12:52 pm

Unanimous consent.

tessiee May 5, 2011 at 6:43 pm

Fuck Texas WITH Florida.

RedneckMuslin May 4, 2011 at 12:48 pm

Texas is already fucked.

Ohforcripessake May 4, 2011 at 2:04 pm

I know you really mean "F**k stoopid F**ckers" wherever they live, right?

Chillwaver May 4, 2011 at 12:34 pm

And then Texans complain that Houston is "too Liberal."

On a side note, are the downfisters multiplying or is it just me? These people shouldn't be procreating.

horsedreamer_1 May 4, 2011 at 12:42 pm

They did, after all, elect a black mayor.

Chillwaver May 4, 2011 at 12:54 pm

Our current Mayor, Anise Parker, is a lesbian. Still, the Wingtard-to-Liberal ratio is 3:1.

nappyduggs May 4, 2011 at 12:55 pm

And a gay one, too. I am, in fact, currently in Houston for a conference, and I have got to tell you that, overall, it is a lovely place. Texas is very dense in many ways, but still and all, it boggles the mind the things that walk hand-in-hand in America these days.

nappyduggs May 4, 2011 at 12:34 pm

So much KKKlassy in these last two posts. It just makes a girl want to curl up and pour herself a long tall glass of bleach.

Seriously, when the fuck did it become de rigueuer for folks to just say any old goddamn thing to anybody? Gahhhhhh.

twaingirl May 4, 2011 at 1:00 pm

Um, well, I think we did PC language and tried to be tolerant and stuff in the 90s but apparently people want the 60s to come back, in all forms. All these people need are some fire hoses and its 1963 all over again, baby!

nappyduggs May 4, 2011 at 1:10 pm

Well, it has truly been swell eatin' at the lunch counter, swimmin' in the swimmin' hole, and suckin' on the same diseased water fountain as my white sistren and bredren. But I guess things will be better, on the moon.

WhatTheHolyHeck May 4, 2011 at 5:19 pm

On the upside, you'll have impunity to start being unspeakably rude in restaurants. No more need to ask politely for that motherfucking iced tea.

flamingpdog May 4, 2011 at 6:15 pm

Dunno about that. Robert Heinlein wrote "The Moon is a Harsh Mistress". Mebbe that's just kinky sex, but more likely means slavery.

DustBowlBlues May 4, 2011 at 3:29 pm

Since Hate Talk radio hit the airwaves.

HempDogbane May 4, 2011 at 11:32 pm

De rigueur in Minnesota this week: http://www.minnpost.com/dailyglean/2011/05/04/280

If it's reported tomorrow that seventh-graders discovered the MN House Majority Leader stuffed in a locker, it's because he was paid an after-school visit by Neil Gaimon and R. Crumb.

rambone May 4, 2011 at 12:34 pm

So we can persecute muslins when one of them kill one of us and when one of us kill one of them?

Talk about a win-win situation!

horsedreamer_1 May 4, 2011 at 12:42 pm

But Paul Giamatti doesn't get to keep the money.

chicken_thief May 4, 2011 at 12:48 pm

It's pretty much open season on muslinz in TX, only taking time out when they can find a colored boy to drag behind their truck.

horsedreamer_1 May 4, 2011 at 12:59 pm

In fact, Tony Hajjar from At the Drive-in/Sparta feels safer in Juarez than he does in El Paso.

bagofmice May 4, 2011 at 1:12 pm

Algebra is all about equality.

DaSandman May 4, 2011 at 12:34 pm

Well the good news here is just one more generation of Republican inbreeding and they'll be unable to stand upright. They will have to move with a weird belly slither ala Rushbo when the painkillers run out and the anal cyst is acting up.

baconzgood May 4, 2011 at 12:35 pm

Tex-ass: Because someplace has to have the most douche bags per capita.

DustBowlBlues May 4, 2011 at 3:29 pm

Thank you for not saying Okrahoma.

tessiee May 5, 2011 at 6:49 pm

As a native of New Jersey, I feel that I must dispute this:
Texas may have the most *rednecks* per capita, but *Jersey* has the most douchebags.
Need proof? Two words: Chris Christie.

SaneCatLady May 4, 2011 at 12:35 pm

When he said "uncle" he was probably just thinking of the lovely card he'll be getting next month: "Happy Father's Day, Uncle Dad!"

philpjfry May 4, 2011 at 2:31 pm

Texsas, where incest is a state pasttime and sodomy is against the law

SaneCatLady May 4, 2011 at 2:35 pm

As they say, "Incest, like charity, begins at home."

philpjfry May 4, 2011 at 2:58 pm

My favorite Incest the game the whole family can play

SaneCatLady May 4, 2011 at 3:03 pm

For the family who puts the "fun" in "dysfunctional!"

ifthethunderdontgetya May 4, 2011 at 12:35 pm

We could give Texas back to the Mexicans, and save money. (They don't own the offshore wells, you know.)

P.S. Oh look, downfisty trool has gotten up out of his bed in mummy's house, and trotted on down to mummy's pc…to fight for justice! Breitfart! and Texass!
~

SudsMcKenzie May 4, 2011 at 12:35 pm

They teach math in TX?

nounverb911 May 4, 2011 at 12:38 pm

All the math teachers are Beck University graduates.

FNMA May 4, 2011 at 12:56 pm

Faith-based algebra.
Example:
x * y = 20
If x=5, then y=Jesus.

Jukesgrrl May 5, 2011 at 12:33 am

How is it that I flunked algebra and these fools are teaching it?

Not_So_Much May 4, 2011 at 1:17 pm

Not if the state school board has anything to do with it. I'm surprised that bunch of ignoranus jeebus-freaks didn't promote this jackwad and move him up to a scarlet robe with pointy hat and at least one 'dragon' in his title.

tessiee May 5, 2011 at 6:51 pm

There's such a thing as "creation math"?

genxr May 4, 2011 at 12:35 pm

It was Jaime Escalante, as played by Edward James Olmos.

mavenmaven May 4, 2011 at 12:36 pm

The downfisters are supporters of racist teachers. That's what they call "common sense conservatism" nowadays.

Zvi_Bleindmeis May 4, 2011 at 1:03 pm

Makes sense to me.

tessiee May 5, 2011 at 6:53 pm

"That's what they call "common sense conservatism" nowadays. "

That's even funnier than "compassionate conservatism".
And by "funnier", I mean, "makes me want to vomit".

OC_Slurpee_Serf May 4, 2011 at 12:36 pm

Texas…Where rednecks prove Darwin at a legal 85mph.

DashboardBuddha May 4, 2011 at 12:37 pm

What.a.douchebag.

qualityshows May 4, 2011 at 12:37 pm

I don't blame this person as a "teacher' but as a certified 100% burger-loving ignorant used bumwad from the flea circus that is the American education he received:

Celebrity Worship and Americans Trained for the Flea Circus of Education
http://wp.me/pKBYM-

PROUD TO BE A WONKETTIAN!

WhatTheHolyHeck May 4, 2011 at 5:22 pm

Hey, self-promoting blog person, the NOFOLLOW tag mocks you from the depths of HTML.

edgydrifter May 4, 2011 at 12:37 pm

Oh… is stuff like that considered insensitive? I guess that would explain the looks I got when I set up the "pin the nail on the savior" cross at my Good Friday Jamboree Kegger last month. C'mon, Christians, lighten up!

genxr May 4, 2011 at 12:44 pm

You have to be more multicultural than that. An easter bunny nailed to a cross is both festive and a reminder of our core values. It's a good thing.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 4, 2011 at 1:56 pm

It's a god thing.

Fixed.

tessiee May 5, 2011 at 6:56 pm

Dress up Jesus:
http://www.jesusdressup.com/original.html

The creator of this website also has a truly insane collection of hate mail.

FraAnima May 4, 2011 at 12:38 pm

Woo Hoo! U-S-A! U-S-A!!!

Mort_Sinclair May 4, 2011 at 12:38 pm

Texas. I say we excise it like the cancer it is and give it to the Palestinians as a new sovereign homeland. Free.

chicken_thief May 4, 2011 at 12:52 pm

Don't they hate us already? Why would we want to piss 'em off even more?!

baconzgood May 4, 2011 at 12:38 pm

Why can't Texas teachers make thier students cry the old fashioned way? By molesting them.

Worthly[♬♪♬♪♫♪♬]Skum May 4, 2011 at 12:39 pm

I'm shocked, shocked this guy wasn't immediately promoted to the school board.

MissTaken May 4, 2011 at 12:51 pm

They didn't mention that he has now been picked to write the Texas school books. Yay racism!

nounverb911 May 4, 2011 at 12:39 pm

"Remember the Alamo?"

No thanks.

bflrtsplk May 4, 2011 at 12:39 pm

And they hate us because…? Oh right, our Freedumz.

nounverb911 May 4, 2011 at 12:42 pm

Who, the teachers or the texans?

bflrtsplk May 4, 2011 at 1:14 pm

All of 'em.

ArmoredBore May 4, 2011 at 1:29 pm

Like Christopher Titus said, we bomb them and then they get angry at us. WTF, amirite?

DonnyKerabotsos May 4, 2011 at 12:39 pm

Cedar Brook High School.
Home of the…are you ready?

WOLVERINES!!!!

Dudleydidwrong May 4, 2011 at 12:56 pm

Ah, yes. Wolverines in Texas. Figures. I guess that Cedar Brook high chose that for a mascot because "Walmart Bags on a barbed-wire fence" was already taken, as was "Roadkill."

Jukesgrrl May 5, 2011 at 12:38 am

The WHITE Wolverines, I trust. Team uniforms: white with a red neck.

Hatrabbit May 4, 2011 at 12:40 pm

Wait till that teacher's pet goat dies. Wow are you grieving for your wife? I bet you're grieving for your wife.

ttommyunger May 4, 2011 at 12:40 pm

Lookin' good, Georgia! Thanks, Texas, keep up the good work, Yeeeeehawwww!

horsedreamer_1 May 4, 2011 at 12:40 pm

White Conservative radicals always act alone. Muslim radicals are all the same. So, you cannot generalize the teacher as you can the student.

Callyson May 4, 2011 at 12:41 pm

“I bet you’re grieving.”
Funny, that's what I muttered when I saw the Republican presidential candidates after hearing of bin Laden's demise…

fuflans May 4, 2011 at 3:23 pm

HA! i immediately thought that as well.

anniegetyerfun May 4, 2011 at 3:55 pm

I'm sure that there was a fair round of cursing before they decided to figure out how to give everyone BUT Obama credit for OBL's death.

Jukesgrrl May 5, 2011 at 12:42 am

Grief, immediately followed by a fit of pique I suspect will last until Obama visits Ground Zero, whereupon the pique will morph into a bottomless rage.

freakishlywrong May 4, 2011 at 12:41 pm

Maybe this ugliness will get enough attention, like the AFP asshole who threw money at that poor guy during the Summer of Hate, that he'll be forced to feel a soupcon of remorse. But probably not. Fuckers are fuckers.

occams8ball May 4, 2011 at 7:04 pm

thnx, you made me look up the definition of soupcon. What sort of person uses a word like soupcon?

tessiee May 5, 2011 at 6:58 pm

A chef?

elviouslyqueer May 4, 2011 at 12:42 pm

Your move, Arizona.

CookiE_MonstA May 4, 2011 at 12:43 pm

No, I heard it was Sphinx Coffee and Mediterranean Sweets.

horsedreamer_1 May 4, 2011 at 12:49 pm

Never heard of it. I shall look it up & patronize it, so they can know not all pale-faces are the same.

Urban_Achiever May 4, 2011 at 12:43 pm

I read this as "Cesar Romero" invented Algebra

dr_giraud May 4, 2011 at 4:07 pm

I think that's correct. César Cedeño landed the first spaceship on the Astrodome.

horsedreamer_1 May 4, 2011 at 12:43 pm

If he's anything like my Pre-Calculus instructor, he was prolly just drunk & didn't know what he was saying.

nounverb911 May 4, 2011 at 12:44 pm

Only two things come from Texas…

Warning: inappropriate language!

elviouslyqueer May 4, 2011 at 12:53 pm
Pithaughn May 4, 2011 at 12:44 pm

Texans have been bigots along time. When Sam Houston saw Gen. Santana and 4000 Mexican soldiers approaching the Alamo through wisps of morning fog; he turned to his aide de camp and asked " are we floating concrete today?"

BTWBFDIMHO May 4, 2011 at 12:45 pm

Texans on administrative leave spend too much time at home watching Fox News and may be dangerous.

Chillwaver May 4, 2011 at 12:47 pm

How long until this teacher lands a "Fox & Friends" gig?

neiltheblaze May 4, 2011 at 12:47 pm

So – when is Texas seceding? Governor Hairdo promised.

HELisforHEL May 4, 2011 at 1:13 pm

As long as we get to keep Austin and San Antonio. The rest of it and it's population of stupids can go.

Pragmatist2 May 4, 2011 at 1:16 pm

Not soon enough.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 4, 2011 at 2:01 pm

After they get the fires out and collect their federal disaster relief funds, and after the most recent cotton, peanut, and soybean subsidy checks have cleared.

Jukesgrrl May 5, 2011 at 12:44 am

And by then it will be hurricane season again.

zhubajie May 5, 2011 at 7:20 pm

He's been begging for foreign aid lately, hasn't he?

Gopherit May 4, 2011 at 12:52 pm

Given the cuts to their education budget to afford tax breaks for yachts (completely true, btw) I am sure this asshole can look forward to a rewarding career standing over a deep fryer.

Jukesgrrl May 5, 2011 at 12:46 am

Are we completely sure he won't be suing the school district (financed by Rupert Murdoch?

Warpde May 4, 2011 at 12:52 pm

You have to remember that these are the same people that celebrate getting their ass's wupped at the Alamo evry year.
Wrap your head around that one.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 4, 2011 at 2:02 pm

They won at the Alamo… it's in all the Texas history books.

anniegetyerfun May 4, 2011 at 3:56 pm

Remember, being on the losing side doesn't mean that your cause (killing Messicans, keeping slaves) wasn't TOTALLY awesome and defensible.

Jukesgrrl May 5, 2011 at 12:50 am

I await "ALAMO! Two," written and directed by, and starring, Mel Gibson.

comrad_darkness May 4, 2011 at 9:24 pm

Historical Special Victims' Unit.

See also: Confederate reenactors.

mrblifil May 4, 2011 at 12:53 pm

They still go to school in Texas?

thesycophant May 4, 2011 at 3:01 pm

Thanks to the textbook industry, we all go to school in Texas!

DashboardBuddha May 4, 2011 at 12:53 pm

Can we help pack your bags? Can we call you a cab?

An oldie but a goody
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCLz7XQOIOQ

Oblios_Cap May 4, 2011 at 12:54 pm

It seems the only thing we're really exceptional at is how big of a group of fucking assholes most Americans can manage to be.

Lascauxcaveman May 4, 2011 at 12:54 pm

If Texas' algebra teachers are like this, I can't imagine what their shop or gym teachers might come up with.

V572..whatever May 4, 2011 at 12:54 pm

Meanwhile on Fox, Shep Smith says the killing of Bin Laden was "illegal."
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/05/04/shep-smi

How dare he say something true!? And on Fox!

Boredw/Gravitas May 4, 2011 at 1:00 pm

Yeah, 'cause that whole "flying planes into buildings" thing was totally legit.

V572..whatever May 4, 2011 at 1:03 pm

We’ve lowered ourselves to their level! USA! USA!

V572..whatever May 4, 2011 at 1:35 pm

Israel’s assassinations are illegal too.

Negropolis May 4, 2011 at 11:21 pm

Oooo, a contrarian. You're so kool. Too kool for school, even. How can I be as kool as you? Maybe say something about Obama being morally weak, or some shit? I fear I'd have to sex up Dennis Kucinich and get his risidual liberal koolness to rub off on me to approach your level of klassy koolness.

V572..whatever May 5, 2011 at 12:12 am

Good old (or maybe young) Negropolis — you always provide a thoughtful comment late at night, and I'm flattered that your read my stuff. But I'm also a bit disappointed this time, and will explain here where no one but you will ever see the response: I didn't say that stuff to be contrary or cool. Timothy McVeigh got a trial. Manuel Noriega got a trial. Bruno Hauptmann got a trial. In our system everybody charged with a crime, no matter how horrendous, should get a trial, right? if you throw out the rule of law whenever it's inconvenient or can't guarantee the outcome you want, you don't really have the rule of law, do ya?________________________________________

GOPCrusher May 4, 2011 at 2:23 pm

How can it be illegal? He wasn't the head of a sovereign nation or anything like that.

Jukesgrrl May 5, 2011 at 1:17 am

OBL was the operational leader of Al Qaeda in an ongoing conflict with the United States. As such, many legal analysts — including Scott Silliman, executive director of the Center on Law, Ethics, and National Security at Duke University and Stephen Vladeck, law professor at American University’s Washington College of Law — deem him to be a legitimate military target to be captured or killed at any time under accepted international laws of war.

JSOC's assignment to “capture or kill” bin Laden, a combatant in a war, was a fully authorized military mission as opposed to an unlawful assassination. If you'll remember back to 1996, bin Laden himself declared war on the U.S., issuing a religious decree calling for the murder of American citizens wherever they might be found. Not until after 9/11 did the U.S. respond, with Congress's 2001 Authorization to Use Military Force. The measure, directed specifically OBL and Al Qaeda, empowers the president to “use all necessary and appropriate force” against "nations, organizations, or individuals" who played a role in the 9/11 attacks. Since then, both Presidents Bush and Obama have signed secret executive orders authorizing kill-or-capture missions by the CIA and military special forces.

Feel free to call this killing "immoral," according to your ethics or faith, but I seriously doubt it was "illegal."

V572..whatever May 5, 2011 at 10:19 am

Thanks for the first thoughtful response I’ve received to my surprisingly unpopular assertion. Didn’t expect to find so much rabid jingoism on the Wonket. It still would’ve been possible (although not so satisfying) as to seek extradition, give him a trial, etc. Even Noriega got a trial, of sorts, after we kidnapped him.

imissopus May 4, 2011 at 12:56 pm

Aw, give the guy a break, he was probably still drunk from celebrating. And anyway I'm sure his union will file a grievance.

Janinthepan May 4, 2011 at 5:25 pm

I don't think Texas has a teachers union.

SmutBoffin May 4, 2011 at 12:57 pm

Algebra was invented by Benjamin Franklin. He needed a way to calculate how many prostitutes he could afford with the money he made from his best-selling pamphlet "Thom. Jefferson is a Secret Iberian: He hath not a duly notarized certificate of delivery by Christian midwife".

mrblifil May 4, 2011 at 12:57 pm

Bet he was playing pocket pool in his trousers while he said it. Explains the half roll of TP sitting on his desk. "No Fly Zone" my ass…

horsedreamer_1 May 4, 2011 at 12:57 pm

When I went to Google & looked it up, I realized I have driven past it several times. I think it's in the former George Webb's space. (Sad, really: they should have looked to replace Pizza Shuttle instead of GW. Chicken-flavoured noodle FTW.))

CookiE_MonstA May 4, 2011 at 1:02 pm

Indeed. It amazes me that Shuttle stays in business. However, I only go into Webbs for a cheap breakfast, since the Astor Cafe closed down.

Allmighty_Manos May 4, 2011 at 12:58 pm

Ha, Ha, Ha, that's hilarious! What a joker.

But seriously fuck that guy.

Wilcoxyz May 4, 2011 at 1:01 pm

Teaching certificate from Beck University – check.

DemmeFatale May 4, 2011 at 1:04 pm

Meh. I don't get this jingoistic jubilation.
Mr. Fatale's boss was killed on 9/11, (attending a conference for him), we left NY for CA because of this, left schools, friends, my job, our house, etc., and I don't really care too much about Bin Laden.
Too little, too late.

HELisforHEL May 4, 2011 at 1:19 pm

I think the turds doing all the celebrating and braying have no real connection to anyone who lost family members, friends or coworkers on that day. I have to say I'm certainly glad they found that piece of shit, but I'm not going to jump up & down about it.

I'm sorry to hear about what happened, DF

carlgt1 May 4, 2011 at 1:09 pm

I see a simple solution for the RepugliKKKans — Andrew Breitbart can get video of this girl crying hours after the teacher's taunts, and use it for a shocking new expose entitled "US MUSLIMS GRIEVE OVER DEATH OF BIN LADEN." Hence proving that the teacher was correct.

Truly this is a sad story though. And this poor girl probably had to interrupt her lessons from Texas schoolbooks how Ronald Reagan was sent down from heaven to save the USA.

genxr May 4, 2011 at 4:51 pm

The video practically edits itself!

(girl crying)
"You mourning your uncle?"
(girl cries some more)

Sue4466 May 4, 2011 at 1:10 pm

Then he grabbed his gun & giant USA flag, hopped on his four-wheeler, and drove around screaming yahoo and firing randomly into the air.

Or this: http://wonkette.com/444971/man-with-gun-four-whee

BZ1 May 4, 2011 at 1:14 pm

Texas.high.school.teacher. Never heard of it…

__kth__ May 4, 2011 at 1:14 pm

Trivia: Clara Harris, the dentist lady who ran over her husband while someone caught it on video, is from that neck of the woods (League City, just a stone's throw from this place).

Pragmatist2 May 4, 2011 at 1:15 pm

Look on the bright side. These Red states are raising another generation of stupid and ill-prepared children. Their kids are not going to take your kid's place at Harvard. If they eliminate their minimum wage laws, we can just use them like we do Vietnam now – low end, low cost labor.

tessiee May 5, 2011 at 7:06 pm

Or cannon fodder, like during the Vietnam war.

Not_So_Much May 4, 2011 at 1:19 pm

Paris, Texas too — totes reeks of teh ghey.

Native_of_SL_UT May 4, 2011 at 1:28 pm

Sure, come move in with me.
HA, like Utah is an improvement.

Ducksworthy May 4, 2011 at 1:51 pm

Actually I find SLUT surprisingly civilized, you have a decent light rail system for example. And something about Mormonism makes even the residents of small towns much better than your average Texas redneck. And there has'nt been a major violence outbreak in Utah since, I think, that Mountain Meadow nastiness (unless you count the war on the Utes.)

the_onceler May 4, 2011 at 2:06 pm

They're not quite as mean in Utah as they are in Texas.

snoopyfan2010 May 4, 2011 at 1:29 pm

Just FYI, Clear Brook High is in the swanky part of Houston where the smart, rocket-scientist, NASA types live.

proudgrampa May 4, 2011 at 1:30 pm

To be fair, we only need to get rid of anything that isn't Austin or San Antonio…

El Pinche May 4, 2011 at 1:46 pm

My bet is that bitter "teacher" used to be a football coach.

Looks like Texans might have to do away with their socialized sacred cow, HS football:
http://www.texastribune.org/texas-education/publi

GOPCrusher May 4, 2011 at 2:30 pm

The state of Texas would sell every book in the educational system to keep football afloat.

tessiee May 5, 2011 at 7:07 pm

The state of Texas would sell every book, cancel every class, and lynch every teacher in the educational system to keep football afloat.

fxd

notreelyhelping May 4, 2011 at 1:50 pm

That's funny stuff, man. Too bad he couldn't throw in an "and your mama so ugly…" line or something, but, you know, it's tough to come up with new material on the spot. Especially if you can't see the parking lot from the classroom.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 4, 2011 at 1:55 pm

Yup – and she'd better stay well clear of abandoned trailers.

Biel_ze_Bubba May 4, 2011 at 2:05 pm

Inigo Montoya?

GOPCrusher May 4, 2011 at 2:25 pm

Tariq ibn-Ziyad?

owhatever May 4, 2011 at 2:25 pm

An algebra class in Texas? X is One. Determine the value of X. You good ole jocks and hawties have an hour to figure it out, and you may work together. You also may use your Bibles.

sportshort May 4, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Ha haa ahaaahaaa. Is he grieving for his dead job yet?

teebob2000 May 4, 2011 at 3:22 pm

Dick.

fuflans May 4, 2011 at 3:25 pm

texas? alaska? texas? alaska?

who will win?

tessiee May 5, 2011 at 7:08 pm

They both lost.

DustBowlBlues May 4, 2011 at 3:33 pm

Her father is probably an Oncologist from South Asia.

Doktor Zoom May 4, 2011 at 4:02 pm

Excuse me, sir, George Takei would like to have a word with you.

Poindexter718 May 4, 2011 at 4:08 pm

At the risk of getting all serious and such, I have first hand knowledge of this particular school and it is reasonably diverse and the community is moderate & well-educated. Chances are that creationism has not infiltrated the curicullum, since about half the kids' parents work for NASA or one of its contractors.
That said, am I surprised that some ignorant racist Aggie teaches ninth-grade math and coaches football there? Not in the least.

mourningnmerica May 4, 2011 at 5:21 pm

So close. Texans are just a single chromosome away from being human…

lochnessmonster May 4, 2011 at 5:33 pm

I'd ask how he could possibly be smart enough to earn a teaching degree spouting comments like that but then I remembered he is a teacher in Texas.

flamingpdog May 4, 2011 at 6:11 pm

I wouldn't fuck Texas with Dick Cheney's dick.

MinAgain May 4, 2011 at 6:15 pm

Oh, Texas. How can I miss you, when you won't go ahead and secede?

flamingpdog May 4, 2011 at 6:40 pm

Suprised they allows Al Gebra in Texas. Isn't that where you learns about Al Jazero?

MarionNYNY May 4, 2011 at 9:21 pm

They broke away over Mexico's not allowing slavery. Really, does anything they've done since, surprise?

Lost_Teabaggers May 5, 2011 at 1:22 am

Well I'll tell you, I'm sold on this guy's valor. Here's an idea, those medals people want to give to the SEAL squad that iced UBL? Give them to him. I mean, the BALLS it takes, big, giant bronze balls to walk into a classroom and cruelly mock a 14 year old girl. Seriously, this guy should be mentioned in the same sentence with all war heroes…just amazing!

Yes, I know those of you who read this, isn't it kind of amazing Mr. Shitbag was man enough to mock a little girl in front of her classmates thereby ruining her dignity because she happens to be Muslim instead of a Christofascist-mega church attendin'- paying tithing which goes for the pastros mistress "good 'Merikan Christian"? I mean, it's not like anyone mocked this guy when avid churchgoer Eichmann was hung, or anything….maybe we should.

tessiee May 5, 2011 at 7:09 pm

But…
and follow along with me here, just hypothetically:
Suppose this "teacher" went to a restaurant or for a cab ride?

Walkinwiddaking May 5, 2011 at 10:02 pm

"I bet algebra is grieving.” Not really! He probably thinks algebra was delivered by White Jesus on a T-Rex during an Astros’ game at the Confederate States of America’s Alamo Dome in 1861."

It wasn't?

flamingpdog May 4, 2011 at 6:21 pm

Vice in nice, but incest is best.

SaneCatLady May 4, 2011 at 7:02 pm

It's all relative.

Negropolis May 4, 2011 at 11:17 pm

Nice, nice…the whole lot of you.

tessiee May 5, 2011 at 7:03 pm

I see your point, V, but it's pretty much a given that Fox couldn't give two shits about the rule of law. When they say the killing of OBL was "illegal", what they really mean is "a black guy is president". If Little Georgie Bushie had killed OBL, Fox would have been fellating him 24/7.

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