Our men’s room correspondent in Anchorage sent this wonderful picture of the bathroom wall at Ted Stevens International Airport. We guess this is what they call “publicly funded art” in Alaska, as everyone up there gets those “oil welfare” checks.
But what does it say? Here is the transcription of the main message, followed by the replies from the liberal peanut gallery:
OBAMA’S The problem
30 caliber Hollow poiwt
is the answerRacism dies a slow death
It’s okay to be conservative.
It’s a pity to be stupid.Go back to Wasilla
So, the person who wrote this graffiti in the Anchorage airport thinks Obama is “The problem,” and wants to kill the president with what Fox News calls “cop killer” bullets. We guess that is normal for a state that very briefly had a governor who would later put bulls-eyes on pictures of her pretend enemies such as elected lawmakers from another political party.
The first response, “Racism dies a slow death,” is less than clear. We can only guess that it’s a comment on the racism of the original graffito, even though there’s no indication that racism is anywhere close to receding, especially in a state that recently elected a bigot governor who referred to Barack Obama in public as “Sambo” and smiled approvingly when her idiot followers shouted “nigger” whenever Obama was mentioned.
As for the person who thinks it’s “okay” for people to want the president to be murdered with “cop killer” bullets — you know, being “conservative” — the real problem is neglecting to punctuate the end of the graffiti scrawl with a period. So this free-lance copy editor adds a period to the end of the second sentence, but not the first sentence (“OBAMA’S The problem”), and the random use of upper- and lower-case letters along with the extremely bad spelling/penmanship resulting in “Hollow poiwt” is simply ignored. “Stupid” is relative in Alaska.
The most succinct commentary on the Obama death wish is “Go back to Wasilla.” Thanks to Wonkette operative “Bill S.” in the AK.
{ 152 comments }
"It’s okay to be conservative.
It’s a pity to be stupid."
This means that it's a pity to be conservative.
yay syllogism!
"Todd loves banging whores
Sarah Palin is the biggest fame whore on the planet
Guess that's where all those fucking kids come from"
Perfect syllogism.
Hey, Alaskans aren't into Aristotle. They prefer Play-doh.
Which is ironic, since they're so lacking in pity (except self-pity) or compassion.
How dare you mention the liberal plant at Sarah's rally.
Right above it someone wrote "For a good time call Bristol."
In handwriting that bore a remarkable resemblance to Bristol's.
That rules out Levi.
Define 'good'.
Sarah would decry this graffiti as "unreadable!" Bitch can't read. (nor speak, nor name an influential media figure that isn't Greta)
She can to read… whatever magazines are around, you know, at the doctor's office… or uh… wherever.
All of them… that are at least three years old, then.
She looks at the pictures.
You trying to pick a squirmish with her?!
She can read some words, if they're small enough to fit on her hand.
She can read the words written on her checks just fine.
Sarah would decry this graffiti as "unreadabibble!"
fxd
Spell check fail. It should say Osama.
Upon finishing the graffito, Todd Palin capped his pen, turned, and greeted Larry Craig through the gloryhole.
Funny. I always imagined that the Anchorage airport would just have outhouses.
They're actually fairly swank. They're even "wi-fi enabled".
Like Starbucks, except when you're poopin'.
Me too, Sally!
"Sincerely, Podd Talin."
Graffiti Libel!
Proper use of apostrophe. Couldn't be Todd.
Now, what was a conservative man doing in an airport bathroom, pray tell?
**taps foot**
*stances. wide*
Sarah's handwriting!
turd libel!
LouSarah has such beautiful handwriting.
I guess he couldn't spell his phone number….
Perhaps we should just draw surveyors marks over the whole white trash state. It really is Sarah Palin' s Alaska.
Like the old joke they used to tell about South Africa:
1st Guy: God must love Alaska to bless it so — look at these mountains, the glaciers, the beautiful shoreline, the wildlife, the forests, the natural resources…
2nd Guy: Yeah, but look at the people He gave it.
Brett Butler said that somebody should write a book about the South, but it applies here, too:
"When Beautiful Places Happen to Bad People".
See… that guy did it too…
It is O"S"ama… not O"B"ama… I know it is hard isn't it? Just say bin Laden.
LOL I've actually made the obama/osama mistake several times myself, but I was usually high.
Y'all don't like my poetry? [spit]. Fuck all y'all, cuz I'm workin' on a collection of bathroom stall poems. Gonna call it Twitter on the Shitter. Fixin' to have inSTALLments placed in bathrooms all across the country. Fuckin' elitists. This is what we call people's poetry!! Fuck yeah!
You're a regular Calvin Trillin, eh?
Fuck that. I'm the Milton of the meth lab, the William Carlos Williams of Wal-Mart, and the Kerouac of Kentucky.
I'm the Guns of the Navarone?
The Twain of the taint?
Speaking Sojourner Truth to power?
Hollow points are the answer? That explains Sarah's high speaking fees .
Downfister has been busy. My thumbs are your thumbs.
I know, Downfister inspires me to go up-thumb crazy these days.
Downfister = page counts = sweet, sweet gold in my pocket. What? Well, then who is getting paid?
That explains why he didn't fill out his period.
"Hollow points are the answer? That explains Sarah's high speaking fees . "
By virtue of her hollow, pointed head?
This is how you tweet in Alaska.
There's a Ted Stevens International Airport? What's next, the John Denver International Airport? Or the Buddy Holly Airport?
Sure, and a Wiley Post/Will Rogers Airport in AK, too. If the 9/11 fellas had hijacked a plane to Alaska, there'd be a Bin Laden International Airport.
A JFK Airport, Jr?
Only for small planes?
Sylvia Plath Appliance Outlet? James Dean Porsche Repair? Virginia Woolf Beach? Lucky Lindy Daycare?
The Marvin Gaye father-son bonding center.
Kelsey Grammer Marriage Counseling Center, Dina Lohan Parenting Classes, M.C. Hammer Financial Advisory Firm, Cyndi Lauper Personal Shoppers, Cyndi Lauper Hairdressers, Keith Richards Rehab…
Don't forget Amelia Earhart International Airport, if you can find it.
It helps if you have the Fred Noonan brand GPS system.
My all time favorite is the George W. Bush Waste Treatment Center
Excrement should not have to suffer this indignity
Actual turd libel!
The James Inhofe School of Flight
The Ronald Reagan International Airport? Oh, wait …
"Cop-killer" bullets are inappropriate for the occasion. Using "president-killer" bullets will keep your assassination attempt dignified, and will tell the world that even though you hate the man you respect the office.
Ha Ha. Still another demonstration of how easy it is for college graduates to get the "b" and the "s" mixed up.
Hey fat ass (I think that's a safe bet here), nobody uses 30 cal hollowpoints for anything. Unless they wanna sound like a pussy.
Well, Rick Perry bragged about using one on a- OHHHHHH.
I see what you did there
There are three counter-comments written in response… so 75% of the bathroom wall comments are not written by a Palin.
Those were surveyors' marks. How many times does this need to be explained? And a 30 caliber Hollow poiwt is just a kind of surveyor's tool. Someone needs to stop reading so many Dan Brown novels!
somebody has a man-crush on biden, apparently.
well it is promising that there were liberal follow-up messages – so perhaps Anchoragers (Anchorites?) are enlightened and refudiate Wasilla? They put the "courage" in Anchorage or sumpin'?
Anchorbabies, is the proper term, I'm sure.
Shit. Does this mean I have to give up my passport?
"Anchoragers (Anchorites?)"
If they were Anchorites we wouldn't have to deal with them nearly so often.
This is the original draft of "Sounds of Silence".
Hello dorkness, my old friend.
C'mon, Joe Biden, I know some days you may feel a little useless, but this isn't really the answer and you know it.
He had five episodes of Modern Family on his DVR that he was going to catch up on when he got the call to the White House Situation Room. He had to put those off, though. He was reasonably pissed, then.
Pretty impressed at Downfister's ability to work the glory-hole and downfist at the same time. Bravo, good sir.
I love the downfister! I assume he/she is young, attractive and good with his/her hands.
Raccoon? Prairie dog? Definitely a different species.
Maybe I am just waking up (still kind of early for us west coasters), but I first saw that as the possessive apostrophe.
As in, Obama *has* a "the" problem, to which the 30 caliber hollowpoint bullets are the answer.
And by "the" problem, I thought that referred to "teabaggers, haters, and evil spirits."
It seems like that was a pretty workable solution to the Bin Laden problem, at any rate.
Hey, was this the Mens' or Ladies' Room?
Yes.
Have pity on Osama's boyfriend – he's had a rough couple of days.
Russia: what's your return policy?
Damn, I hope we kept the receipt!
Was there a dead rat in the crapper?
This is just a mural depicting the history of the republican movement…
It is only natural that it was placed at an airport named after a turd and more specifically in the room where bowels congregate.
I love me some art…
A trip to the gun store in Anchorage is eye-opening. Except for a few of the bigger guns, such as the Barrett .50 sniper rifle that will punch through reinforced concrete, you walk out of the store with whatever you want that day.
You have to wait a few days for the Barrett, thanks to fascist federal laws. What if you need to kill from a mile away RIGHT NOW!?
Sammy Haggar — you're going down!
I'm upfisting this for content, even though I don't get the reference.
I'm in King Salmon, AK, and our airport bathroom has the text: "The greatest feeling: Returning to Civilization".
Shouldn't that be "Returning from Civilization"?
Now I need to see the graffiti in Eureka, AK.
You'll have a better time approaching Climax, Michigan.
Must have been the restroom at the departure gate.
In Alaska? Prolly not right now. Mario Chalmers & Carlos Boozer are busy with the Playoffs.
It was just Larry Craig filling the time.
There once was a family from Wasilla……….(next line?)
That couldn't keep its privates still-a
Who thought their rhetoric was killa.. (next)
Who thrived on penecilla
WIN
There once was a family from Wasilla
Who sprang from the loins of Attila
They killed wolves from planes
They shot men on trains
And they all had the brains of a vanilla wafer (sorry)
Who thought they could mess with a killa
Wait – you trying to tell me that "Barack" doesn't mean "Sambo" in Kenyan?!
John Wayne is a fag.
Liberace is a fag.
John Wayne is a dyke.
Besides, black men make more than $20. Supply and demand, and such as, doncha know.
So thats where Sarah goes when she's out of tweet range.
alaska is america's failed state.
No, the ironic thing to name after John Wayne would be a nuclear weapons test site:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Conqueror_%28fil...
The "Obama is the problem" part looks kinda girlie. All that's missing is hearts dotting the i's.
Merkin Graffiti.
In 1981 Obama was hospitalized for approaching perfection.
Slowly screwing his way across
EuropePakistan, they had to make a correction.I love the smell of hatred and fresh feces in the morning. It smells like…….Alaska!
I prefers my Alaska baked. Smells a lot better.
Anything to make Georgia look good by comparison, which is NOT easy!
GA is next door to Alabama and South Carolina; not enough?
Wrong airport. The picture is from Ted Bundy International
You have to go beyond Eagle River.
OK, I'm pretty sure I'm being ridiculous for posting anything about this but anyway, so what. The thing is, when people use a combination of print and cursive that usually indicates they're in a hurry – probably being whimsical while pushing out nothing but gas, and doesn't necessarily mean they are Charles Manson. They thought they were being hilarious, as most racist blowhards do. Conspiracy Theory: Interesting to note than Glenn Beck uses a combo of print and cursive now and then.
What adult even uses cursive anymore? The only thing cursive is good for is wasting grade school students' time; I haven't anything but my signature in it since getting to high school when they stopped forcing us to use that stupid shit. Cursive writing is pointless in this day and age and we should stop teaching it and just let it die.
You must be a real drag at finger painting parties, man.
Too bad about your hating on cursive writing – learning many ways of doing the same thing is good for you! Cry baby.
Who pissed in your Wheaties today?
Let Sarah Palin™ teach you to write good!
Lesson 1 : Handwriting. Write your poiwts on your hand so don't forget.
Lesson 2 : Tweeting. Vowels are optional. Ideas too.
Lesson after 2 : Facebook. It's not really a book so don't be afraid.
Another lesson : Rogue-cabulary. How to invent the perfect word to make your poiwt.
Classes are starting soon so sign up TODAY!
Look! It's Alaska's version of reddit!
At the extreme risk of sounding like Neilist, this graffiti take stupid to a whole other level. They don't make modern .30 cal rifle rounds in hollowpoint. they don't need to. Once they hit a person, or say a moose, their velocity makes them expand without the hollow tip. More mass, too. Only Sarah could get this kind of stuff wrong.
Your important firearms tip for the day from an AZ correspondent.
Seriously. And forget about matching liberal graffiti. I still remember fondly a visit to a stall in Seattle. Featured prominently amongst other witticisms was the following: "I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous." Well played, liberal stall scrawler. Well played.
Do you remember where it was? Mama's Mexican Kitchen? Pretty sure I've seen that particular bon mot before.
I guess I'm just surprised there's a restroom wall in Alaska clean enough for graffiti to be visible.
It goes without saying that there's spelling errors…
Great Alaskan Bush Company in Anchorage: Does no good standing on the seat. Alaskan King Crabs can jump twenty feet.
Belittle him all you want. I still think his lower case s's are whimsical.
Broader point of which this is just one illustration:
The quality of bathroom stall scrawlings has fallen significantly in the last decade or so, as most creative, perverted, and vicious graffitists migrated over here to the internet (and specifically, Wonkette).
There once was a racist in AK, who wrot in stall because papper wass not aviallbell?
If I remember correctly, that graffito is just above the Sarah Palin Memorial Glory Hole. I got a souvenir photo of it last time I was in Alaska. Also, there is a giant stuffed bear in the airport lobby.
Talking points scribbled with a Sharpie…sounds kinda Snowbilly to me. Are you sure that isn't a close-up of Trig's forehead?
I'm not so sure, wouldn't there be a little plaque to record the event for posterity: $arah took a squat here or something to that effect?
Actually, condoms are the answer. I just wish brain-dead, cracker idiots would learn how to use 'em.
Oh yeah, especially in college towns where people have to write the name of their bar shuffle on every bathroom wall.
Wonder what the creature looks like that walks through an airport, musing "I need to poop and write something on the wall about Obama."
It's a complete and utter fraud. Otherwise, there would be crudely drawn penis cartoons next to the commentary.
Guys. He just means with 30 cal. hollow-point VOTES. Come ON, stop reading into obviously metaphorical non-hate-language.
Awesome alt-text. In 1984, I was hospitalized for approaching perfection. Slowly screwing my way across Europe, they had to make a correction.
Somehow, it feels different. Blogs are never as truly revealing as personal diaries or graffiti. Archaeologists love graffiti!
Now, see, the Larry Craig International Airport in Minneapolis has TOTALLY different bathroom graffiti.
That's not art.
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