Chuck Norris Puts Out New Column; It Plagiarizes His Old Column

  standing his plagiarist ground

Not backing down until he has to plagiarize this very blog about him plagiarizing stuff.Chuck Norris has apparently weathered the revelation that his lazy conservative column is strung together by his “pastor” from a series of plagiarized passages of other people’s writing. That’s not surprising; it’s not like the kind of places his op-eds are syndicated care about truth or intellectual honesty or anything like that. But you’d at least expect him to be a little more careful about plagiarism. Not so! In fact, the kicking legend has gotten even more brazen! For his first column after the plagiarism revelation, Norris (/the pastor guy) lifts a whole section out of one of his own previous Chuck Norris columns.

Compare this from Norris’ May 3, 2011 column:

in February 2010, President Obama also appointed Rashad Hussain to serve as his special envoy to the Organization of the Islamic Conference, or OIC, an inter-governmental body of 56 Muslim countries, which also forms an official body represented in the United Nations. (Where is the same treatment from this White House for countries that uphold Judeo-Christian values to unite and have the same treatment that allows them to form an official body represented in the U.N.? Or any other religion for that matter? There’s something rotten in the state of Denmark!)

With this from Norris’ August 17, 2010 column:

in February, President Obama appointed Rashad Hussain to serve as his special envoy to the Organization of the Islamic Conference, an intergovernmental body of 56 Muslim countries, which also forms an official body represented in the United Nations. (Where is the same treatment from this White House for countries that uphold Judeo-Christian religions and values? Or any other religion?)

Yes, there is something rotten in the state of Denmark: plagiarism. And a paucity of action movies made by bearded men, probably. Denmark is for pussies.

This is all like splicing together an informercial for the Roomba, old Walker, Texas Ranger clips, and a speech delivered by Clint Eastwood at the Academy Awards, and releasing it on DVD as “Chuck Norris Presents Dirty Harry: Space Cop.” We assume that is what Norris will do next, actually.

There you are: finally, a post this week that is not about Osama bin Laden! But Norris will probably plagiarize one of that guy’s cave speeches soon, so hang tight.

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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