IT'S MORNING IN AMERICA  7:55 am May 3, 2011

NATO Murders Gaddafi’s Son, Three Grandchildren

by Riley Waggaman

...in accordance with Islamic practice and tradition.

  • While America’s useless young people were busy chanting brain-dead Neanderthal slogans in front of the White House on Sunday, angry mobs of uncivilized Africans attacked many of the Western embassies in Tripoli! Why would they do something so loathsome and disgusting? (Ha-ha, which “they” are we talking about, again?) Here is your “no fly zone,” neoliberal freaks: “NATO bombed Gaddafi’s family compound in an attack officials said killed the leader’s second youngest son and three grandchildren, ages six months to two years.” Wow, we showed those infants? In a different but equally “winning” maneuver, NATO decimated the Libyan Down’s Syndrome Society, which “prepares children with Down’s Syndrome up to the age of 6 to go to normal schools, giving them speech therapy, handicrafts and sports sessions and teaching them to read and write.” And the Internet is outraged! In fact, Papa John’s just announced on Twitter that they’ve “taken steps to make sure [their] advertising doesn’t appear on NATO’s website in the future.” It’s nice to know that people really care. [The Guardian/Reuters]
  • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad apparently had some sort of domestic dispute with Ayatollah Khamenei, and then boycotted his “official duties” for an entire week. Thankfully (?) the boycott ended yesterday. [The Independent]
  • Good Lord: “Flames shot up and a loud boom was heard on Monday as the U.S. government blew a hole in a Mississippi River flood levee in a bid to save several towns in Illinois and Kentucky from being inundated.” [Reuters]
 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 164 comments }

Steverino247 May 3, 2011 at 8:02 am

Gay make up sex in a country where they hang homosexuals has got to be risky.

riverside68 May 3, 2011 at 8:36 am

That's what makes it so irresistible.

(No personal experience, of course, I'm just quoting a friend, ya, that's my story, a friend said it.)

AJW@[redacted] May 3, 2011 at 11:25 am

Kinda like doing lines with a narc's wife, or so I'm led to believe.

Terry May 3, 2011 at 8:07 am

I'm amazed the Corps actually blew up that levee. It's the sort of action that's always in management plans, particularly the ones written by engineers and not people who own farmland. No snark, here's hoping the flooded farmland keeps Cairo and other towns and cities in the area safe.

Monsieur_Grumpe May 3, 2011 at 8:39 am

When you build towns or farm in flood plains you’re asking for a soaking. Building levies just pushes the water to some other place. I’m beginning to think that insurance should be cut off from people who deliberately build or farm in stupid locations. Dumb, dumb, dumb.

Terry May 3, 2011 at 8:44 am

You put farms on flood plains because those areas are highly fertile due to the annual (or nearly annual) deposition of sediment, freshwater, and nutrients from the river's flooding. Towns need to be up the hill, however.

Goonemeritus May 3, 2011 at 9:47 am

Check out the big brain on Terry, you write with a snark free impressive knowledge on this subject

DahBoner May 3, 2011 at 1:22 pm

I lived in a rivertown, where they had a levee, to prevent flooding of the town.

The farmland, located farther away from the city center, was allowed to flood naturally, as a result, was very fertile.

In fact, I remember, people who had summer shacks in the flood plain would keep a boat tied up right next to their shack…

riverside68 May 3, 2011 at 8:43 am

history: in the great flood of 1927 New Orleans leadership promised full compensation to all residents harmed by blowing up the levees to save NO. Of course when it was over and the bill came in they said sorry about that we have changed our minds. It went to the Supremes who said you can't sue the government unless the govenment agrees to be sued.
And that is how Huey Long came to power, in a populist rebellion against New Orleans leaders.
(And Herbert Hoover was elected president since he did such a good job of running the relief effort during the flood, with Rockefeller funding and screwing the blacks every step of the way.)

BaldarTFlagass May 3, 2011 at 9:00 am

screwing the blacks every step of the way

Doesn't that part go without saying?

emmelemm May 3, 2011 at 1:36 pm

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss. Same shit, different decade. Etc. etc.

It really is depressing when you realize history is pretty much going nowhere.

Serolf_Divad May 3, 2011 at 8:09 am

Sucks about Ghadaffi's grandchildren. It really does. But let's not forget: a couple of weeks ago this guy was ordering the Libyan Air Force to mount air strikes against crowds of peaceful demonstrators. Qualms are not Ghaddafi's strong suit.

Terry May 3, 2011 at 8:45 am

…and there are a lot of people's grandkids in Benghazi who Ghadaffi would have killed without a second thought.

I'm sorry about the grandkids. Ghadaffi needs to hop a plane to any country that will take him and do it now.

Ruhe May 3, 2011 at 9:35 am

For years the cliche joke about absent technology has been "where's my flying car?" I think now we should all be asking "where's my Jason Borne? 'Cause all this collateral damage sucks."

BaldarTFlagass May 3, 2011 at 10:11 am

Not to be all cheerleader-y or gung-hoey or anything, but I think we got taste of the Bourne action on Sunday, when the prez decided to send in the SEALs instead of a Tomahawk launched from an SSN in the North Arabian Sea or a 2,000-pound Mk 84 dropped from a B-2 out of Whiteman AFB.

DaRooster May 3, 2011 at 10:27 am

I have been wondering about this for years. I'm sure we have guys ready, willing and more than able to do these jobs without killing innocents… hell I know some of 'em.

DaRooster May 3, 2011 at 9:35 am

It is kind of hard while these dick-taters hide behind women and children… plus, could be that half of the city , country for that matter, are probably that ego maniac's grand-kids.

HateMachine May 3, 2011 at 11:17 am

Or at least he will allege that they are, in the event that they get blown up.

JustPixelz May 3, 2011 at 10:49 am

Everybody is someone's grandchild. Um … except Adam and Eve. Also, Cain & Abel. And Seth.

iburl May 3, 2011 at 8:16 am

So now we've killed 2 of his kids and 3 grandkids. Why does he hate America? It's like we want to kill everyone he loves before we kill him. USA! USA! USA!

HuddledMass May 3, 2011 at 1:01 pm

I am pretty sure he does not love anybody as he is a grandiose psychopath. Which makes those poor children the only victims here.

BaldarTFlagass May 3, 2011 at 8:18 am

Was he using them as a human shield when this occurred?

CrankyLttlCamperette May 3, 2011 at 8:44 am

Of course not When you're targeted by a NATO bombing campaign, that's the BEST time to hold a family reunion (rather than, I dunno, keeping the kids out of harm's way…in, like, say, Europe). Besides, they had already rented the hall and there was no way they were gonna get their deposit back, cancelling that soon…

Terry May 3, 2011 at 8:46 am

Yeah. Funny, that.

Guppy06 May 3, 2011 at 9:22 am

Heck, knowing the guy, the two-year-old was probably already a commissioned officer.

lefty74 May 3, 2011 at 8:19 am

This kind of fucking shit sucks and you have to be something other than talented to snark about it.

Goonemeritus May 3, 2011 at 8:21 am

But we are still number one, aren’t we?

Oblios_Cap May 3, 2011 at 8:33 am

As long as China keeps sending us those big foam fingers, I have to say "yes".

BaldarTFlagass May 3, 2011 at 8:25 am

Is "NATO" another way of saying "USAF" or "USN"? This kinda shit does fit right in with our usual modus operandi.

Terry May 3, 2011 at 8:48 am

Did you see that the French are dropping concrete bombs?

Doktor Zoom May 3, 2011 at 10:14 am

From a military perspective, those are far more effective than abstract bombs.

DaRooster May 3, 2011 at 10:30 am

Yeah but an F-bomb can do a lot of hurtin'… have the tried those?

HistoriCat May 3, 2011 at 10:32 am

Draft Trump!

starfanglednut May 3, 2011 at 8:25 am

Yes, but the important thing is those kids were not aborted as embryos. That would be a sin.

Serolf_Divad May 3, 2011 at 8:26 am

I have a feeling it's a script. I doubt an actual guy is sitting out there modding down posts on Wonkette at 8:30 AM.

But who knows, I've been wrong before.

bagofmice May 3, 2011 at 8:33 am

It's a script.

Doktor Zoom May 3, 2011 at 10:13 am

On a teleprompter???????

BaldarTFlagass May 3, 2011 at 10:14 am

And it now appears as if it can make multiple passes.

trampndirtdown May 3, 2011 at 10:19 am

I 'm not sure if it's a script or not but I am sure it fucking hates BaldarTFlagass. You seem to get bombed more than others.

undeterredbyreality May 3, 2011 at 10:49 am

Well, you can't hardly blame it, can ya?

BaldarTFlagass May 3, 2011 at 8:38 am

I hope you're right, because if there is an actual human that does this downfisting day in, day out, that makes me sad (even if it is a rightwing idiot), in a way that sets "Eleanor Rigby" to playing in my head.

XOhioan May 3, 2011 at 8:47 am

The fact that someone would write a script makes me sad. This is your contribution? Downfisting comment ratings on a satire site? Uh, fight the power…

UpFistTroll May 3, 2011 at 10:42 am

So… I wrote a script that counteracts it and upfists comments. I believe this makes me pathetic and cool at the same time. PathetiCool.

Terry May 3, 2011 at 8:47 am

What else does he have to do sitting there all day in Mom's basement?

CrunchyKnee May 3, 2011 at 8:48 am

Cheetos? The bags and bags of Cheetos.

Terry May 3, 2011 at 8:57 am

Which explains the orange tallywhacker.

Andrew Drinker May 3, 2011 at 9:49 am

He's smart enough to get a script running in IE4 on his bitchin' Windows 98 (2nd edition!) machine? (You know, one of those cream-colored ones that has progressively gotten a darker shade over the years from age and coffee and nicotine stains…)

mumbly_joe May 3, 2011 at 8:29 am

I'm pretty sure that's *way* worse than making fun of Trig.

Doktor Zoom May 3, 2011 at 10:28 am

Well, no. For one thing, these are enemy brown downs kids we're talking about. Plus, wingers' concerns for precious little special-needs angels really boil down to just the one that Saint Sarah uses as a stage prop.

jus_wonderin May 3, 2011 at 8:29 am

OT: I was just over at Breibart suggesting that the US should not give the Pakis three billion a year (while the righties want to defund NPR).

Anyone wanna help me???

I am in rethorical mode this morning.

Terry May 3, 2011 at 8:50 am

While I support trolling the Breitbartites, I'm really not down with the "Paki" term. I know you're using it for effect, but its one of the terms that I can't chuckle over.

jus_wonderin May 3, 2011 at 9:38 am

Sorry. I don't get it. Is that term a slur or incorrect? I did use it as an abbrev for Pakistani

Terry May 3, 2011 at 9:42 am

Slur, more so in British or former British areas than here.

Mumbletypeg May 3, 2011 at 9:46 am

Perhaps more commonly known as a slur in, say, Britain? Recently I watched an episode of "Cracker" from circa 1996, with Robert Carlyle's guest-role as a man going on a killing spree [sort of à la "Falling Down"] — his life takes its homicidal turn upon confronting a Pakistani convenience-store clerk wherein he needles him with "Paki, Paki, Paki!" If it was a slur back then it obviously still is, yet I don't often see it referenced except in isolated incidents like this.

Mumbletypeg May 3, 2011 at 9:35 am

I too am hopeful at some point to figure the most self-gratifying tactic for endeavoring some dialogue w/ the dark side. Their biases against "liberal media" like NPR however would be too entrenched even for comparing to the cost of military engagement overseas, they'd see it as apples and oranges. The day I can figure how to actually insult them without their realizing they've been stung will be the day I have achieved a sort of 7-dimensional-chess version of counter-trolling. But it involves a knack for double-speak, getting inside that mind and rooting around in order to hand their ill-conceived mind-blunders back to them repackaged as fodder for thought, even at their level.

mumbly_joe May 3, 2011 at 10:56 am

I find an effective tactic, at least on some subjects, is to sprinkle any response with Bible quotes. Trying to use that other document they wave around while shouting instead of reading for comprehension tends to simply rile them up, though.

Definitely found the fact that someone named "ConsLibertarian" is cheerleading the illegal and unconstitutional use of torture by promoting the lie that torture got us Bin Ladin's info (here's a hint: none of the dates match up, even in the general terms offered, with the time period America was torturing KSM), while accusing liberals of cognitive dissonance, to be worthy of a chuckle.

These are the same dipshits who hyperventalate about the existance of the Fed (explicitly constitutional) and a federal income tax (there's a whole Amendment that clarifies its constitutionality), but torture? In direct contravention not only of the fifth, sixth, and eighth amendments, but also international law?! Wat u Mean???

Chet Kincaid May 3, 2011 at 11:18 am

"But it involves a knack for double-speak, getting inside that mind and rooting around in order to hand their ill-conceived mind-blunders back to them repackaged as fodder for thought, even at their level."

That is not a movie I would pay to see, even if the Nolans, Wachowskis and Cohens all collaborated on it.

4tehlulz_lite May 3, 2011 at 10:13 am

I'd love to defund Pakistan, except they have a bad habit of doing stupid shit like making war with India when they feel a tad scared.

Considering the last Kashmir crisis nearly ended up going nuclear, I don't think that's a risk I'm willing to take.

jus_wonderin May 3, 2011 at 10:17 am

I can imagine it is not a possibility but just seems we spend so much money on others that could be spent at home. I am in the woe is me mood today. Grin.

emmelemm May 3, 2011 at 1:42 pm

I read your last word there as "Grim." Which would be equally appropriate.

Hard to properly "rejoice" in the death of Bin Laden when **everything else** is still insanely fucked up. (Grim.)

fuflans May 3, 2011 at 2:50 pm

i love your comments and i love your avatar and i love your spirit but i do not have the fire in the belly to breibart.

i am a coward.

Oblios_Cap May 3, 2011 at 8:30 am

“Flames shot up and a loud boom was heard on Monday as the U.S. government blew a hole in a Mississippi River flood levee"

My god! Now we're bombing our own country! I guess it does get easier with practice.

BaldarTFlagass May 3, 2011 at 8:34 am

Well, the anti-aircraft fire is pretty sparse, and our downed pilots are usually treated pretty well by the natives.

Doktor Zoom May 3, 2011 at 10:33 am

We like downed pilots. Crash enough planes and you can eventually get a major party's nomination.

BaldarTFlagass May 3, 2011 at 8:30 am

Apparently, the Italian Prime Minister did not elect to phone and warn him this time around like happened in '86. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bombing_of_Libya_(19

MARCdMan May 3, 2011 at 8:33 am

What we don't know is that the levee bombing was contracted by al-Qaida under the Air Force's new "Highest Bidder" austerity program.

BaldarTFlagass May 3, 2011 at 8:41 am

Somewhere, Milo Minderbinder is smiling.

MARCdMan May 3, 2011 at 8:59 am

Remember, we all have a share.

LesBontemps May 3, 2011 at 9:02 am

Where is my chocolate-covered cotton?

Doktor Zoom May 3, 2011 at 10:40 am

Here. Put these crabapples in your cheeks.

vulpes82 May 3, 2011 at 8:38 am

It's a tragedy about Ghaddafi's grandchildren. Really. But how is it more of a tragedy than the men, women, and children his forces have killed? Or even the other people that NATO airstrikes have undoubtedly killed?

CapeClod May 3, 2011 at 8:39 am

What is this? Blow Shit Up Good Week?

BaldarTFlagass May 3, 2011 at 8:47 am

We're commemorating the 30th anniversary of the release of Metallica's debut album, "Kill 'Em All," working title "Metal Up Your Ass." Except two years early.

vulpes82 May 3, 2011 at 8:47 am

Isn't that every week for America? We just like to blow shit up! I really think we need some counseling or something.

Terry May 3, 2011 at 8:52 am

The Army Corps has a whole list of levee segments south of Cairo it's dreaming of blowing up as the crest of the flood heads downstream. They're stepping up to the continental scale.

XOhioan May 3, 2011 at 8:40 am

When the fuck did Wonkette turn into DailyKos? I want to talk about ham biscuits and buttsecks.

vulpes82 May 3, 2011 at 8:50 am

I think Ken brainwashed Riley and Jack at his Desert Compound. "I will only look at things in the most depressing light… I will only look at things in the most depressing light…" It's somehow part of his master plan for world domination. When the Wonkbot armies come to take us, we'll all be too weepy and/or drunk to fight back.

Terry May 3, 2011 at 8:54 am

Isn't Riley here in the DC area? How about we all take him out, get him drunk, and introduce him to some rich hussies from Late Night Shots?

vulpes82 May 3, 2011 at 9:23 am

Well, poor Riley also has to deal with all those Breitbart molestation flashbacks.

HistoriCat May 3, 2011 at 10:36 am

"introduce him to some rich hussies from Late Night Shots"

It's not enough that he slaves away at Wonkette and gets molested Breitbart, now you want him to get some STDs as well?

Leave Riley alone!

GOPCrusher May 3, 2011 at 12:28 pm

Look at it this way. Either the STD's will be passed along to Breitbart, or Riley's already infected from Breitbart contact.

BaldarTFlagass May 3, 2011 at 8:55 am

Is my bottle of Pessimus Maximus tequila half full or half empty?

Chet Kincaid May 3, 2011 at 10:54 am

"Hah. Look at that. My tequila just made me clinically depressed. What can your tequila do?"

XOhioan May 3, 2011 at 9:02 am

Yay! I found the Lindsey Graham/Bin Laden article mashup! I just love reading this out loud with his delicate cadence. God knows why this was written.

"Tell me we got the bastard," the South Carolina Republican responded.
"Yeah, we got him," Biden said.
http://www.delawareonline.com/article/20110503/NE

Terry May 3, 2011 at 9:22 am

Graham and Biden might just be polar opposites in terms of masculinity.

Graham: reclines on a tastefully upholstered divan on the veranda, cool drink in hand, watching the gardeners tend the camillias.

Biden: washes his car out in the driveway in a pair of grotty old shorts, can of domestic beer sitting by the bucket of soapy water, ball game playing on the radio.

elviouslyqueer May 3, 2011 at 11:07 am

Haha. Also, this: Graham, who had been at a Washington Capitals hockey game, said Biden had tried to reach him several times that night to tell him al-Qaida leader Osama bin Laden had been killed. He said he was "overcome with emotion" to learn the news, calling it "something most Americans have been hoping for for a very long time.

So Lindsey puts on the butch by going to a hockey game (!) but, on hearing the news that OBL has snuffed it, can't reach for the smelling salts fast enough.

mayor_quimby May 3, 2011 at 10:28 pm

Real men don't get "overcome with emotion".
You silently say "Yesss!!" in your head, while not giving away your emotions to those around you. You then make up a lie about having to go home from the game to fuck your wife, just to stop her bitching. Then you drive to work in your Aston Martin in silence, glaring like Daniel Craig.

trampndirtdown May 3, 2011 at 10:12 am

So this story doesn't leak for 9 months, Biden calls his ex-senate butt buddies and Wolf Blitzer is stepping on BO's big announcement. Fucking children. He should have told Granpa Cornpants the tweet would have taken a couple of days to decipher.

Serolf_Divad May 3, 2011 at 9:15 am

I got your ham biscuits right here:
http://politics.blogs.foxnews.com/2011/05/02/gop-

Lindsey Graham tossing a little gasoline on the "Bin Ladin isn't dead, he's in a cave with Elvis" conspiracy flames?

mumbly_joe May 3, 2011 at 9:28 am

Speaking of ham biscuits, he's apparently one of the WORST political prognosticators, which presumably explains why he and Lieberman go on Meet the Press so often, for their opinions and predictions.

Other SHOCKING DEVELOPMENTS include the fact that Tom Friedman is officially "Bad", being a conservative or a lawyer makes you significantly more wrong, statistically, and Paul Krugman is #1 and gloating about it.

HateMachine May 3, 2011 at 11:30 am

"Perhaps most importantly, being a good prognosticator seems to be a product of choices, not birth. Anyone can be good; all they need to do is avoid law school and buy into liberalism as an overarching philosophy."

Oh god, that is the sound of like 80% of all OP-ED writers being told to fuck right off.

Chet Kincaid May 3, 2011 at 11:01 am

I think it's more that he's trying to eke a little bit of "Obama bending over backwards for the ISLAMS by burying OBL at sea per Sharia Law" out of what is otherwise a political disaster for the Republicans.

prommie May 3, 2011 at 10:12 am

Kids, they can't help it, the libtard leaning is strong in the young. The instinctive righteous indignation has not yet been beaten down by the realization that the desire for a just and fair world is the desire for a fantasy that has never and never will exist.

CrunchyKnee May 3, 2011 at 8:42 am

That 6 month old secretary of war racked upped some impressive victories in her short life span, or something like that – human shields, "collateral damage?" USA, USA, US…ah, fuck it.

EatsBabyDingos May 3, 2011 at 8:42 am

I declare today "World Party Day," and strongly encourage all to go listen to the song "Is It Like Today?" and ponder their place in the cosmos.

4TheTurnstiles May 3, 2011 at 8:52 am

and I know I'm not alone… and I know I'm not alone… and I know I'm not a-lone….

Mumbletypeg May 3, 2011 at 9:23 am

"How could it've come to this?
You're really killing Me, y'know…"

You're talking about a personally important band (/guy) who came to my awareness at a very impressionable time. Mixing up even the soberest of messages w/ the inebriated sounds of carnivale, much as with wonkette at its best.

James Michael Curley May 3, 2011 at 8:43 am

Ayn Rand blows things up. So saving the homes of a bunch of poor people over land owned by ConAgra must be the Ronal Reagan Right Thinking at its best.

mumbly_joe May 3, 2011 at 11:09 am

So what you're saying is that this levee was probably destroyed by the Army Corps of Engineers because the purity of their Creators' Vision had been perverted?

Pragmatist2 May 3, 2011 at 8:44 am

I'm not sure I agree with the point of the Qaddafi piece, but it's important that someone say it.

keepem_sikanpor May 3, 2011 at 8:46 am

Right, looks like a double shot of Maker's Mark and back to bed for me. Fuck it all.

vulpes82 May 3, 2011 at 8:51 am

Wonkette really needs to start advertising alcohol, because they're practically begging us to drink already, for free. Why shouldn't they make some money off our misery? BAD businessman, Ken! Bad!

Doktor Zoom May 3, 2011 at 10:51 am

Ken is just a shill for DrinkLine.com

mumbly_joe May 3, 2011 at 8:52 am

Don't worry, I'm pretty sure the levee was also home to a Downs Syndrome Society or school for orphans, or something, as well.

OC_Slurpee_Serf May 3, 2011 at 8:53 am

The tweets of hate from Palin for NATO refudiating Downs Syndrome kids in 3, 2, 1…

LesBontemps May 3, 2011 at 9:11 am

Tweets of Hate will be the name of my next band.

ifthethunderdontgetya May 3, 2011 at 8:53 am

Listen, World, we're going to keep blowing up your toddlers until you all love us. (Like you mean it…and that means give us your oil, also.)

USA! USA! USA!
~

freakishlywrong May 3, 2011 at 8:57 am

Good God yawl. Can't we go back to hateful conservatives taking away our Medicare and tax breaks for the Koch sucking wealthy? At least there's jokes in thar somewhere.

Pop_Socket May 3, 2011 at 9:04 am

All I know about levees is that they are great places to go to drink whiskey and rye.

BaldarTFlagass May 3, 2011 at 9:10 am

And if it breaks, you'll have no place to stay.

mereoblivion May 3, 2011 at 9:11 am

So . . . this'll be the day that I and/or some other pathetic bunch of chumps die?

DaRooster May 3, 2011 at 10:51 am

They work for taxes too…

DashboardBuddha May 3, 2011 at 9:08 am

Some songs for your flood enjoyment:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbJQT2eDseA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKVjV7XZrUU (this is one of my favorite bands, btw)

BaldarTFlagass May 3, 2011 at 9:24 am

Saw the MTs open for Roger Clyne at HOB in Vegas a couple years back, they do indeed put on a good show.

Doktor Zoom May 3, 2011 at 10:57 am
deanbooth May 3, 2011 at 9:15 am

What makes this more horrific than the usual killings is that the people are given identities — if you want to kill people without remorse, you have to be careful that they remain anonymous.

Also too, "100,000 children were killed in Iraq," doesn't sound quite as bad as "100,000 grandchildren were killed in Iraq." though, of course, they all were grandchildren. (fyi, I made up the number; it's probably higher.)

GOPCrusher May 3, 2011 at 12:33 pm

But 0 fetuses, so that makes it better.

imissopus May 3, 2011 at 12:41 pm

As Stalin said, one dead man is a tragedy, but one million is a statistic.

starfanglednut May 3, 2011 at 9:29 am

Hey, intensedebate ate my comment!

Doktor Zoom May 3, 2011 at 10:59 am

And in other news, it's Tuesday.

One_Man_Band May 3, 2011 at 9:37 am

Ya know those "useless young people" who "were busy chanting brain-dead Neanderthal slogans in front of the White House on Sunday" were government PLANTS, right? The CIA paid them to go participate in that "spontaneous" demonstration. And, apparently, clog Facebook with bullshit posts about it.

Sadly, I'm not making this up, but have seen this "theory" advanced in multiple idiot internet locations, as further evidence of the elaborate Osama-killin' coverup, usually insisting that either he's been dead for years and they just now announced it, or that he wasn't actually killed and it's all fake, or somehow, both.

One_Man_Band May 3, 2011 at 9:38 am

Oh, I see that I am an idiot myself and Wonkette already has a post up about this. Nevermind.

undeterredbyreality May 3, 2011 at 11:36 am

My only question about this is–why now? The timing couldn't be less propitious. The enthusiasm will wear off long before the 2012 elections.

DaRooster May 3, 2011 at 9:38 am

"A witness said water began to pour out of the hole after the explosion and is expected to eventually flood some 130,000 acres of farmland in Missouri in order to spare the towns."

What's a farm? Do they grow High Fructose Corn Syrup there?
MORE SUBSIDIES… hoo ray!

El Pinche May 3, 2011 at 9:38 am

FUCK YEAH!! KILL !! BOMB!! DIE FUCKERS!!

Today we're all conservatards.

DaRooster May 3, 2011 at 10:53 am

You forgot, "…heh heh heh…"

You know, all Bushy.

El Pinche May 3, 2011 at 11:02 am

"Today we're all Deciders, heh heh heh . "

4TheTurnstiles May 3, 2011 at 9:44 am

Oh, it's not to late to mention that Canada really fucked it up last night: Kitten-eater S. Harper lucked into a majority government. Given party discipline up there, don't expect much democracy in the Great White North, and get ready for climate change legislation NEVER to happen in the Land of Ten Thousand Tar Pits. Fucking hell. At least Layton took Quebec back from the separatists with that badass mustache.

ThundercatHo May 3, 2011 at 10:21 am

Fucking great. There goes our retirement healthcare back-up plan. They still have poutine though, right?

LesBontemps May 3, 2011 at 10:59 am

I think eating poutine pretty much guarantees you will never need retirement healthcare.

4TheTurnstiles May 3, 2011 at 11:10 am

Quebec has poutine. Alberta has ketchup-flavored Pringles. And Newfoundland will gladly shoot you in the ass for a bucketful of fish.

Maman May 3, 2011 at 9:48 am

Little Egypt is saved!

Terry May 3, 2011 at 9:52 am

I apologize for getting all high-horsey there, too.

DaRooster May 3, 2011 at 10:34 am

Especially the whole "Britishy" part…

(jus_kiddin'- we're mostly all on the same side… except the trolls)

Chet Kincaid May 3, 2011 at 10:39 am

Might I suggest "Back-Stabbing-Fuck-Istanis"? For the Bin Laden-hiding military-security assholes only, of course?

Terry May 3, 2011 at 10:49 am

I'm willing to bet that our dollars fund that military institute up the block from Osama's enclave. You know the one, where they just didn't happen to notice who was living in the neighborhood.

DashboardBuddha May 3, 2011 at 11:09 am

neigh neigh…worry not. You have a right to your opinions.

JoshuaNorton May 3, 2011 at 10:01 am

Only thing I know about levee's is in the song "Waitin' for the Robert E. Lee". Apparently, a lot of shufflin' along takes place there.

=========================

Way down on the levee in old Alabamy,
there's Daddy and Mammy, there's Ephraim and Sammy.
On a moonlight night you can find them all.
While they are waitin', the banjos are syncopatin'

Oh, what's that they're sayin'?
Oh, what's that they're sayin'?
While they keep playin', and hummin' and swayin',
it's the good ship Robert E. Lee that's here to carry the cotton away.

Ah-ha-ha, watch them shufflin' along, see them shufflin' along!
Go take your best gal, your real pal, go down on the levee,
I said to the levee, and we'll (CHORUS joins) join that shufflin' throng.
Hear that music and song.
It's simply great, mate,
waitin' on the levee,
waitin' for the Robert E. Lee!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6MHebFCh0vQ&NR

=========================

Needz moar watermelon references.

DaRooster May 3, 2011 at 10:55 am

That is friggin' Shufflesville Alabama…

crybabyboehner May 3, 2011 at 10:13 am

price of meth skyrockets as Missouri labs flooded ….

prommie May 3, 2011 at 10:14 am

Is there no ass-fucking going on anywhere in DC? It was the ass-fucking that made Wonkette famous, the ass-fucking that brought me here along with so many others, where has all the ass-fucking gone?

Beowoof May 3, 2011 at 10:39 am

Ah the queen of Ass Fucking Ana Marie brought me here and I am sure there is ass fucking in DC as there are republicans there.

riverside68 May 3, 2011 at 6:56 pm

All the ass fuckers have gone to Time Magazine, every one

undeterredbyreality May 3, 2011 at 11:38 am

Now it's all eye-fucking with a bullet.

mrblifil May 3, 2011 at 10:20 am

Planes fly up, bombs come down. You can't explain it.

easynewz May 3, 2011 at 10:23 am

From looking at the propaganda vids released by Qhadaffy I am pretty sure that the average living room does not have the amount of steel reinforcement rods and massive concrete walls that were present. So, a command and control center = legit target.

I seem to recall that there is a Wonketteer that is a building inspector – hope he/she can back me up on this.

imissopus May 3, 2011 at 12:54 pm

Remember, we bombed Qadaffi's compound back in the mid-80s, so who knows what they did to rebuild it. Every building there might have steel reinforcement rods and concrete walls. Of course, bombs have gotten stronger too.

donner_froh May 3, 2011 at 10:29 am

Engineers love to blow stuff up–also shoot stuff from catapults–and hardly ever get the chance to do it. For the Corps of Engineers dynamiting the levee was as big a deal as killing OBL.

Doktor Zoom May 3, 2011 at 11:07 am

In Corps of Engineers office politics, the explosives team always seem to win out over the trebuchet guys.

BaldarTFlagass May 3, 2011 at 10:31 am

This post grows tiresome. C'mon, Stuef, it's almost fucking Afternoon in America!

easynewz May 3, 2011 at 10:34 am

Another angle is NATO member France's president Nicolas Sarkozy is looking to ignore the stated 'no-fly' goals in order to target Qhadaffy, who has publicly bragged that he financed Sarkozy's election campaign.

Also, too: French oil giant Elf holds most of the contracts for the 'Texas tea' in Libya, and is not really interested in a protracted civil war with resultant damge/destruction of wells and refineries…

I know. Needs moar buttsechs. Sorry my snark is weak today.

Chet Kincaid May 3, 2011 at 10:35 am

Whatever happens to Gaddafi's family is blood on his own hands. He certainly could afford to send the ones who aren't complicit in his regime elsewhere, and I am sure he has no qualms about playing the human shield card. Why should I give a shit about his kids if he doesn't?

prommie May 3, 2011 at 10:39 am

Contrary to the conservative stereotype, the French are mean-ass motherfuckers who fight dirty when they fight. I can easily believe that the US has nothing to do with this targeting of Gaddafi and his family, this is exactly the sort of thing that the French would do.

BaldarTFlagass May 3, 2011 at 10:41 am

Fight with their feet, fuck with their face. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Savate

prommie May 3, 2011 at 10:49 am

They are champion hair-pullers, eye-gougers, and ear-biters, as well as kickers and spitters.

DaRooster May 3, 2011 at 10:58 am

So they have no "guys" in their services? Just 8 year old girls huh?

Sissies!

randcoolcatdaddy May 3, 2011 at 10:40 am

Thank you for our daily update on all items concerning things being blown up.

Beowoof May 3, 2011 at 10:41 am

You know when kids killed there is nothing to say that is snarky. I can only hug my grandkids a little tighter, and keep working for the day when they won't have to worry about the wars of their parents.

UpFistTroll May 3, 2011 at 10:47 am

Gaddafi was just acting in his own enlightened, rational self-interest when he used his children as human shields. And it worked; he's still alive! Objectivism wins again!

Who Is John Gaddafi?

DaRooster May 3, 2011 at 10:59 am

I just read that Ahmadinejad's election was fixed… huh… wha?

That can't happen can it?

donner_froh May 3, 2011 at 11:47 am

The French have long had a special relationship with the Maghreb to the east of Egypt–special meaning "we fucking own this place no matter what your towel-headed leaders say".

HuddledMass May 3, 2011 at 1:05 pm

"Paki-bashing" — it's what Brit yobs do instead of gay-bashing. "Paki" definitely a put-down over there.

ttommyunger May 3, 2011 at 6:09 pm

Killing infants by mistake and missing the real target completely is just following the lead of Lord Ronnie back in '86. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bombing_of_Libya_(19

BaldarTFlagass May 3, 2011 at 11:56 am

No shit. Well, what doesn't kill me only makes me stronger.

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