isn't that the guy who 'killed bill'?

Here’s the Death-Stare Face Obama Made While Waiting Yesterday

AHHHHHHHH! SCARY OBAMA!
America, this is just a guess, but it’s probably not a good idea to make Obama angry. “We’re gonna need a new vein!” — Obama’s face of death. This whole photo is pretty much the greatest picture of the century so far. Joe Biden is like, “Murhp?” And Hillary Clinton is like, “OMG!” (This is the caption that will be appear in history books, because history is written by the winners: teenagers who are popular.)

Jeez! You guy look like you're watching the last play of the Super Bowl! You know, something serious!
What’s that on Hillary’s computer? It’s blurred out. Most people would assume they’re classified photographs, but it’s just as likely it’s porn. Porn really calms the nerves when you have to answer that “3 am” call.

ANYWAY, as fun as this photo is, it’s fun to imagine other things they may have been watching yesterday:

  • Watching Obama try to beat the final level on Super Mario Brothers 2.
  • Finally catching the last episode of The Sopranos on Netflix.
  • Witnessing the sheer horror that is the “John McCain sex tape.”
  • Looking for just the right moment to interrupt Celebrity Apprentice.

Yeah, all of those seem to work just fine. [Flickr]

About the author

Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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Comments

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  • genxr

    I don't see no flag lapel pin, neither.

    • Doktor Zoom

      Sarah Palin wears hers even when she's naked.

      • genxr

        That's more about her body piercings than I wanted to know!

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Lol, after four (?) kids, that dame's gotta have enough loose skin around her navel to carry the medals of several banana republic dictators.

      • Rotundo_

        A little American flag just above the gates to right wing heaven. Also known as the black hole of politics. How appropriate!

  • Barb

    I hear there is a martyr tape that Bin Laden made to be released after his death, on a golf course in Florida, at age 94.
    I can't wait for the blooper reel where Osama keeps accidentally referring to himself as Obama Bin Laden.

  • dekkoparsnip2

    You can't fool me. The Sopranos isn't on Netflix. CONSPIRACY.

  • nounverb911

    Biden's awake! How'd that happen?

  • nounverb911

    Does Obama use that same face when the Bulls are losing too?

  • evan7257

    In my fantasy, Biden brought popcorn and raisinettes. Everyone watches the live feed in silence, suddenly interrupted by Biden mixing the candy into the popcorn. Hillary gives him the death stare, and so he offers her the bag.
    "Want some?"
    She keeps staring.
    "I'll have some," a random guy in the back says.
    "Oh no you won't!" she asserts.
    "Quiet, all of you!" Obama says sternly. "They're approaching the Tyrannosaur paddock.

    • UW8316154

      As the short girl in the back strains on tippy-toes to get a peek…

    • GhostBuggy

      "Tyrannosaur paddock" had me laughing my ass off like an idiot. Thanks. It helped that I just caught it on teevee the other day.

  • capnhuggyface

    the look is caused by bin laden Coitus interruptus is my guess

    • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

      for sure. what kind of madman doesn't fuck his shield before going into battle?

  • JackObin

    That looks like the face made by the Yale University president as he handed Little Georgie Bush his diploma.

    • DahBoner

      And the face made by the Harvard University president when he had to hand Little George a Masters Degree

  • nounverb911

    Where's the photo from just after they got OBL? I want to see everyone high fiving.

  • Oldskool_

    He's a vicious fucker. First he kicks The Donald in the nuts, laughs about it, and then orders two bullets to the head of OBL. I voted for him out of hope but the second time will be out of fear.

    • loki_monster

      Chicago thug 4 lyfe!

      • Oldskool_

        "I'm Wayne Brady, bitch!"

    • comrad_darkness

      I voted for him out of fear the first time. Imagining someone with the intellectual capacity of Trig as the VP of a worn out old man. . .

      • flamingpdog

        Don't be dissin' Trig.

        • comrad_darkness

          Yeah yeah, I'll get out my Rosary and say ten Hail Sarahs . . .

    • BerkeleyBear

      And squeezes in both a visit to Alabama to see what tornados do to double wides and 9 holes of golf. Badassss!

      • RavenRant

        As well as some passable stand up comedy.

    • mayor_quimby

      That look is what Tony Montana sees in his nightmares, a scary serious fucking "It's about to go down" look.

    • Limeylizzie

      You got 305 P points , well 306 in a minute when I'm done, you are like the Rock Star of Wonkette.

      • Oldskool_

        Can I be the Jimmy Page of Wonkette? I like Jimmy Page.

        • Limeylizzie

          Yep, or the Bay City Rollers, anyone you desire.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

    If LeBron can just hit this free throw…

  • XOhioan

    Everybody. Dudes. There's a black guy hanging out here.

  • MMathS

    Why is John Lithgow there?

    (the guy standing behind the pudwhacker in the uniform with the 16 square inches of fruit salad)

    • finallyhappy

      Yes, he won the White House Correspondents Dinner Raffle- got to sit in on next crisis event.

    • MozakiBlocks

      That would be National Security Advisor Tom Donilon.

      (yes, I had to go look it up)

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      He was at the White House Easter Egg Roll…
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=emKdX1BmD4U

      …so Barry said, "hey, wanna stay in the Lincoln Bedroom this week? We're going to grill out and then smoke Bin Laden Sunday."

    • berkeleyfarm

      Speaking of the fellow with the fruit salad … who's he?

      • Iam_Who_Iam

        From the Flickr link:

        Seated, from left, are: Brigadier General Marshall B. “Brad” Webb, Assistant Commanding General, Joint Special Operations Command; Deputy National Security Advisor Denis McDonough; Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton; and Secretary of Defense Robert Gates. Standing, from left, are: Admiral Mike Mullen, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff; National Security Advisor Tom Donilon; Chief of Staff Bill Daley; Tony Binken, National Security Advisor to the Vice President; Audrey Tomason Director for Counterterrorism; John Brennan, Assistant to the President for Homeland Security and Counterterrorism; and Director of National Intelligence James Clapper.

  • BarackMyWorld

    He made Adm. Mullen stand? That's disrespecting THE TROOPS~!

    • MarcelleMarceau

      All snark aside, it's Hillary's expression that tells that tale.

      • UW8316154

        You're right, it appears like Hilz and Barry are the only two that really get the significance of what's going on…

  • DaRooster

    I still make that "Hilary face" when I see the Joe Thiesman video.

    • nounverb911

      I still can't watch the Joe Theisman video.

      • DaRooster

        I have to… 'cuz the guy bugs me.

        • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

          You go to the video of the leg roll-up everytime he aggravates you?

    • Terry

      I'm assuming you mean the leg break and not a tape of he and Cathy Lee Crosby the night before Super Bowl XVIII.

    • MommysFetusJar

      Oh snap!

  • mavenmaven

    That look would certainly make most teabaggers cross the street or piss themselves.

    • tessiee

      Most of them can already do both simultaneously.

  • iburl

    Watching Sarah Palin on Fox News attempting to pronounce the word "Abadabad".

    • Nothingisamiss

      someone please post a linky.

    • RavenRant

      Cannot wait for that to be online. (I refuse to watch Fox News or click on their site.)

    • iburl

      Actually, if you've seen the opening to the Flintstones, you've heard it.

      (Besides, it's a joke caption for the photo, not a for reals thing.)

    • RavenRant

      Headline at Joe McGuinness' website:

      "For Bin Laden it was Abbottabad as it gets: also for Sarah Palin."

    • shrunknseahorse

      Dammit! She was told to pronounce it "Obamabad".

  • memzilla

    When will people learn: "You don't wanna pi** off the Angry Black Guy!"

    (with apologies to ABG here on teh Wonket)

    • Tommmcattt

      I miss angry blak guy.

      • Trinket

        HEY! I just realized I've never seen Angry Blak Guy and Obama in the same room together…!

        • RadioJihad

          Hmmmm

      • RavenRant

        Given his avatar, he would have been a natural at this 'fisting' business.

    • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

      On Saturday night I formulated a plan to win Michelle Obama's heart.

      Step 1: Become a professional comedian and get hired for the White House Press Corp dinner where I get to sit next to MO.
      Step 2 : While the POTUS is cracking wise at the podium, convince MO she should become Mrs. Just Pixelz.

      After seeing Obama's expression in this photo my new plan is to stay home and watch teevee.

  • bureaucrap

    They had a bet as to what would be the make and model of the next car to be totalled during their WH screening of "Fast and Furious 5". Barack bet on the '54 Studebaker. He lost.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    If it was the McCain Sex tape… wouldn't there be more projectile vomiting?

    • nounverb911

      Megan or John McCain?

      • MMathS

        Why does it have to be one or the other?

        <gag>

      • CthuNHu

        Potayto, moldy potahto.

      • Gopherit

        Together?

  • TanzbodenKoenig

    Do you think they actually invited Biden or did he just kinda wander in? Also, why is the room so damn small? You think they could assassinate people from somewhere besides a closet

    • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

      Fifteen people eventually end up crowded in the room: Obama, Biden, Clinton, Riccardo, two chambermaids, an engineer, a manicurist, the engineer's assistant, a woman looking for her aunt Minnie, a cleaning lady and four stewards with food.

      The cleaning lady: "I come to mop up."
      Obama: "You'll have to start on the ceiling."

      • Extemporanus

        "The Aristocrats!"

      • Doktor Zoom

        There's no such-a thing as a Sanity Clause!

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Obama: "I had a feeling you'd show up. Come on in!"

    • http://kittenbomb.wordpress.com kittenbomb

      Biden just happened to be there already, eating his oatmeal and scratching his diaper rash.

  • Sophist [غني عن ذلك]

    Witnessing the sheer horror that is the “John McCain sex tape.”

    You will burn in hell for creating that mental image. Burn. In. HELL.

    (p.s. Man, Obama got game face. At the next debate he should just stare his opponent in the eye until this happens [which is also what happens when you watch the "McCain sex tape"].)

    • emmelemm

      Fucking awesome.

      (ETA: I meant the ROTLA clip.)

    • Terry

      All the Viagra in the world couldn't fuel a John McCain sex tape. That ship has sailed.

      • hooray4anything

        5 1/2 years, Alan, 5 1/2 years

  • Beowoof

    He looks like he is thinking we are going medieval on this bin Laden motherfucker.

    • DaRooster

      … Beeotch!

  • gullywompr

    They're just about to witness the first shock of 2girls1cup.

    • hooray4anything

      Either that or watch the Friday video for the first time

  • OC_Slurpee_Serf

    …video of Boehner getting outta a tanning bed?

    • AJW@[redacted]

      Well, wouldn't that require protective eyewear?

  • tihond

    This photo is actually from the time Biden released his latest Hitler "Downfall" parody video: "Hitler learns how awesome Joe Biden is."

  • DaRooster

    Must have found the "Bill & Monica" tape…

  • facehead

    Here is a humorous video of Trump learning about the death of Bin Laden:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jE6anZwjerY&fe

    • DustBowlBlues

      HI-larious.

    • lulzmonger

      A++++++++ WOULD BASK IN SCHADENFREUDE AGAIN

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      Beautiful.

  • CthuNHu

    Uh, you've all been punk'd. That picture was totally released late Thursday night, when bin Laden was as healthy as any 54-year-old kidney-failing psychopath with sleep apnea can be.

    The original caption was ""Cam frickin' Newton?!?""

  • gef05

    The teeth just got him on his 12th attempt at Chip's Challenge, level 37.

    • DashboardBuddha

      I loved that game.

  • SaraJBenincasa

    Who the fuck invited Academy Award-nominee Chris Cooper? (upper right hand corner.)

    • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

      John Sayles?

    • http://oliphantparts.org/ natoslug

      They let you in the room on Mondays? Not that I'm complaining, but I thought you had to support the troops Monday through Thursday. And by support the troops . . .

      • HistoriCat

        Same old story – first your boy toy gets sent overseas, then you're trolling the dark corners of the internet. Sara better watch out – hanging out on Wonkette could tarnish her reputation.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

      Oh, these events have made me flush with anticipation for your next "Barry Can You Hear Me"!! I have several pairs of shorts ready and will change as needed.

  • OneYieldRegular

    He should really let that photo be used for the official White House portrait – or at least have a "Warholized" day-glo version made available.

    • MissTaken

      That will be the 2012 version of the "Hope" poster. But this time the caption will be "Badass".

      • OneYieldRegular

        The perfect emblem for the 2012 election cycle.

      • DashboardBuddha

        or "Don't.fuck.with.me"

  • http://theblueelite.blogspot.com simplyblue7

    Funny…I use the same face when playing Call of Duty.

    • DashboardBuddha

      Actually, that's pretty close to my "Oh fuck, constipated again" face.

    • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

      Or "Modern Warfare"

  • Boredw/Gravitas

    They should have let that little short girl in the back move up front or stand on a box, at least.

  • MozakiBlocks

    This picture is even better.
    http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5221/5680707744_2c

    Check out Huey, Dewey and Louie to the left of the JOC and Hills is just flat out ready to collapse

    • DashboardBuddha

      They're spread out like guys at the urinals. Can't stand next to another dude 'cuz that would be gay.

      • mayor_quimby

        Hey, man rules is man rules, dawg! You should never get within arm's reach of another dude's dick, cuz you never know. ..

    • HistoriCat

      You thought Obama just delivered those jokes cold? He made them sit through his rehearsal 3 times!

      • NorthStarSpanx

        There is a viewing area in Trump's bathroom? Gold is so 20th Century.

  • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

    Who's the tiny person by the door?

    • Worthly[♬♪♬♪♫♪♬]Skum

      Frodo.

      • http://wonkette.com smokefilledroommate

        They're totally at a '74 Deep Purple concert. What a weird anachronism. **Conspiracy** !!

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Ha. She does look like Frodo. And Hillary looks like she's getting ready to light up that big joint in her right hand.

    • Doktor Zoom

      Why, that's Annabeth Scott, thinking that this President is almost as awesome as Josiah Bartlett.

    • flamingpdog

      Ohmigawd, it's my daughter! What's she doing inside the Beltway? And the grandchilluns, ohhhh, the grandchilluns!

    • tessiee

      Janene Garofalo.

  • Boredw/Gravitas

    Downfisty McTroll downfisted both me AND Sara Benincasa. Will the madness never end?

    • glamourdammerung

      They are upset that one of America's enemies was killed yesterday.

      • snoopyfan2010

        And a REAL enemy, no less.

    • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ donner_froh

      You are in great company.

  • Gopherit

    I don't have much snark here. He's looks like I'd expect someone to look after they'd ordered someone to die. Biden, on the other hand, looks like he's bored at church.

    • RavenRant

      Biden's an old hand at ordering people to die. Hey, everybody needs a hobby.

      • emmelemm

        Still, he's a fucking amateur compared to Cheney. (You know I'm right.)

        • RavenRant

          Well, in Cheney’s case, it’s actually true. So, umm, yeah. You are right.

  • DustBowlBlues

    I go with the Celebrity Apprentice caption. Yeah, you fucking moran, Trump: you couldn't handle Hopey making fun of you at the dinner Saturday night. Fuck, you're such a pussy even Seth Meyers made steam come out of your ears. And that was what he did to you in public, you freak.

    Hint to Trump: do not let yourself get caught in a room alone with the prez. When you're summoned to the meeting, you step into the office and he nods at the Secret Service Agents, who step out of the room and shut the door behind them, BEG FOR MERCY. Or start saying your beads, or whatever. You are dead meant.

    • RavenRant

      If Obama ever has a conversation with Trump, he will be smiling and pleasant, and Trump won't get that he's been humorously eviscerated until hours, or even days, later.

      • ChessieNefercat

        Kinda like the WHC Dinner?

        Busey or Meatloaf? Yeah, those are the kind of decisions that would keep me up at night, Donald.

        • RavenRant

          No, he definitely knew he was being eviscerated then. But only because of the mocking, uproarious laughter all around. I’m envisioning a one-on-one conversation, with PBO setting some deviously brilliant time bombs that will go off in Trump’s psyche when he least expects it. “Wait, what did he… Does that mean…? Something to wake him up at three in the morning for the rest of his unnatural life.

          • ChessieNefercat

            Ah, yessss. I see…

    • CalamityJames

      Did you mean "dead mint"?

  • Bonzos_Bed_Time

    I thought this was a photo of the writers workshopping Obama's WH Correspondents' Dinner remarks.

  • DangerHelvetica

    "Christ, guys. We've been in Test Chamber 13 for forty five minutes now. Just open GameFAQs already."

    • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

      It's Y-B-Y-X-Y-Y.

  • DaRooster

    Is this the new game-
    Where's Trump?

  • $exy$murf

    Did Obama just graduate from the Christopher Meloni School of Smoldering Intensity?

    • RavenRant

      He attended, but didn't graduate. Graduation requires ritual laser hair removal to create a 'five head'.

    • DemmeFatale

      My girls (21 and 24) love them some "Malones," (especially his many nude scenes when he was thrown in solitary on Oz).

      • Limeylizzie

        Ok, I always think of you as someone in their late 20s…

    • tessiee

      He's on the faculty there.

  • JoshuaNorton

    How can you tell?

  • BTWBFDIMHO

    Former Prez. GW Bush was also there, reading instructions to Prez. Obama. https://picasaweb.google.com/11400799981044075510

    • nounverb911

      When did Bush learn to read?

      • flamingpdog

        Do we finally learn what happened to the pet goat?

        • OhNoGuy

          He was Secretary of Defense, wasn't he?

  • JoshuaNorton

    Funny, this looks an awful lot like a badass outbreak of law-enforcement, for which no commitment of thousands of troops to an entirely different country would be needed.

    How can that be?

  • SayItWithWookies

    "Damn — Bruce Willis is one of the dead people."

    • Lascauxcaveman

      HEY! Spoiler alert!?

    • undeterredbyreality

      Hey! Where's the spoiler alert?

  • PalinPussyPower

    I'd hit that.

  • Cat_Damon

    None of them can believe that the Grizzlies took Game 1 on the road against the Thunder. Hillary's reaction is only because she bet $1 million on the game.

    • http://www.frso.org/index.htm 4TheTurnstiles

      Hence Barry's inner conflict: as a closet Blazers fan, he can't decide if he should celebrate the Zombie Sonics loss… at the expense of the intense and irrational hatred Portland fans harbor for Zach Randolph. NBA ennui, it's fan-fucking-nauseating.

  • comrad_darkness

    Who's the intern looking in from the hallway?

    "Hey, someone here ordered a double mocha with fat free soy??"

  • BlueStateLibel

    They look like my friends at the OTB watching the monitor. And Obama looks like his 50-1 shot in the Kentucky Derby is going to hit the wire first.

  • carlgt1

    I can't think of a calmer yet more bad-ass prez ever. I mean he must have known this huge shit was going down that could have wrecked his career, ruined the Dem party for 30 more years, gotten Pakistan civilians and SEALs killed if it turned into a usual rescue-mishap snafu/clusterfuck — all the time he was busting on Donald Trump & Fox News at the WH Correspondents Dinner etc.

    Repugs could never have ordered this hit — because they would be too frightened if it turned into the "Jimmy Carter Iran rescue" — and they couldn't control the narrative a la the spurious "Jen Lynch rescue" and "Pat Tillman hero."

    • genxr

      Kinda like the baptism scene in Godfather, but with more guffaws.

      • carlgt1

        shhh, then the Repug narrative will be about "evil Machiavellian Obama"….

      • Crank_Tango

        LOL i was thinking it was like when Michael kills mccluskey and sollazzo, because al pacino didn't 100% sew the part up until they shot that scene…

        Barry, you had me at shooting that motherfucker in the eye, like moe green.

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

          That is definitely a Michael Corleone face. I just hope Biden has never been to a sex show in Havana with one of our enemies.

    • Gopherit

      Also, republicans would have been fapping furiously to their warporn.

    • BerkeleyBear

      I take issue only with the fact taht Tillman was a hero. The fact it was friendly fire he was trying to stop doesn't denigrate his efforts – just the trigger happy guys who didn't confirm their targets and the lying sacks of shit who tried to make it a damn Hollywood movie instead of a tragedy.

      Whole thing kinda makes me think back to the whole McCain "shut the campaign down" freakout and Obama's response that the President has to be able to handle more than one thing at once.

      • http://guyclinch.blogspot.com GuyClinch

        Well put, pedo, I mean, berkeleybear.

      • carlgt1

        oops – you're correct of course (I can't edit my original post due to the replies though)

        and per the second part of your post — I wish some poli-sci student would come up with a canonical list of all the dumbass stuff Obama had to monitor and attend to (birth certificate ad nauseum, Trump, WH Corr dinner, Breitbart & other attacks ie healthcare & economy etc) while he had to plan/monitor/worry about this serious shit.

        And then compare to the usual Repug "SHUT EVERYTHING DOWN AND FOCUS ON ONE THING" ie McCain's ploy you mention, the Terri Sciavo thing etc. It would hopefully put things into perspective – not that Obama is even Superman per se; just that any Repug counterpart you can think of is an absolute idiot.

    • Mort_Sinclair

      Perfect assessment. Thanks for that.

    • tessiee

      "Repugs could never have ordered this hit — because they would be too frightened if it turned into the "Jimmy Carter Iran rescue" "

      I wouldn't be entirely surprised if it later came to light that they'd tried to do exactly this.

  • LesBontemps

    I didn't know they were all Mets fans.

  • philpjfry

    That picture makes me want to give him my lunch money.

  • zappadoo76

    Look at Hillary in the photo. Why do women–but not men–always cover their mouths when they get surprising news? Is it to stifle a scream?

    • axmxz

      I think it's in response to something emotionally trying rather than surprising.

    • comptoneffect

      It’s because she just got done looking at that full-color photo of Osama’s pancreas on her laptop.

    • UW8316154

      It was no surprise to her, she was in on the planning.

    • BlueStateLibel

      Speaking as a lady, it's to stifle the not-very-ladylike filthy cursing.

      • mayor_quimby

        I agree, I personally love the sound of a good Motherfucker dropped from a lovely lady's lips

        • NorthStarSpanx

          Hillary is showing appropriate gravitas at the culmination of a planned out attack.

          Sarah would be hiding her smirk at her swinging dick knee-jerk assemblage that guarantees no safety or success.

  • genxr

    "Dammit, Joe. One more spoiler before this last Harry Potter movie ends, and you're going to Gitmo."

  • Worthly[♬♪♬♪♫♪♬]Skum

    I would welcome Wonketteers' conjectures on how the briefing room picture would be different in McCain had won in 2008.

    • Cat_Damon

      President Palin would be eating a moose burger, for one…

    • Gopherit

      We'd be bombing Iran, for starters.

      • glamourdammerung

        I am unsure the possibility that the Republicans would be hitting the correct hemisphere is justified. I recall Reagan's response to Iran bombing our forces in Lebanon involved hitting Granada.

        • Gopherit

          Well, most of our front line forces are already there. And Grenada was part of the great cuban menace. Also, hot med students.

          • glamourdammerung

            And nutmeg! We could not let those Ruskies have a nutmeg gap on us.

        • wondering where i am

          "Is it Granada I see, or only Asbury Park?"

    • RavenRant

      There are mushroom clouds over a number of muslim population centers, and President Palin is grinning maniacally, knowing she just ushered in End Times, and confident that Jesus will be arriving soon to put her in charge of this sector of Kingdom Come.

      (McCain died of 'natural causes' shortly after inauguration. Palin had difficulty suppressing giggles while being sworn in.)

    • CthuNHu

      "How in the hell was I supposed to know Curveball was lying to us this time too? I mean, if I was an evildoer, I'd totally have used Westminster Abbey as a hiding spot."

    • http://guyclinch.blogspot.com GuyClinch

      Walnuts would have the same ridiculous expression on his face that he had during that debate when he almost walked into Bammerz. Palin would be in her expensive clothes and glasses, trying to look serious as she holds a newspaper upsidedown. Megs would be adjusting her bra while liveblogging on HuffPo, and Trig would be the one typing on the laptop.

      • Doktor Zoom

        And Pipette would be licking Trig's head again and again

    • carlgt1

      VP Palin would be saying "since we're shooting up Abbottobad — we'd better blow up Costellobad too just to be safe"

    • tessiee

      It wouldn't exist, since neither McCain nor Palin could find stink on a skunk, let alone finding Bin Laden.

    • tessiee

      "how the briefing room picture would be different"

      Lots more smirking and preening.

  • politics_nerd

    NEED MOAR ANGRY! Now if he could just get that pissed at boner and company.

    • LetUsBray

      Damn straight – that's the face I want them seeing in their nightmares.

  • Doktor Zoom

    I like the bulging forehead vein. "Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."

  • Goonemeritus

    " I'm gonna call a couple of hard, pipe-hitting niggas to go to work on the homes here with a pair of pliers and a blow torch. You hear me talking, hillbilly boy?"

    Or the Ivy League equivalent is probably what was going through his mind

    • UW8316154

      And don't go offering Mrs. Obama a foor massage, either.

    • OhNoGuy

      I think it was very simple, nobody comes out alive.

  • Beetagger

    Death beams from the eyes would be a nice touch.

    • tessiee

      Manson lamps!

  • zappadoo76

    Guess what, folks. Bin Laden's death is being used to increase police state activities in the US.

    On Monday, the NYPD flooded the city’s subway system with additional cops. The Port Authority of New York and New Jersey, “out of an abundance of caution,” said it has added more police at airports, the George Washington Bridge and ground zero, according to NBC New York.

    Amtrak has dispatched canine teams and squads of officers trained to detect the presence of fumes left behind after someone passes through with an explosive device, the San Francisco Chronicle reports this morning.

    In Los Angeles, police have begun increasing patrols of religious institutions and other potential terrorist targets, according to Politico.

    The government insists the unverified assassination will increase terror attacks and it must redouble its efforts against al-Qaeda, the terror group named after the Mujahideen database.

    • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

      1) Obama says we'll be on heightened alert for a while.
      2) Police activity suggests we may be on heightened alert.
      3) ????????
      4) PROFIT!

      And your point is? Worried about assault on civil liberties? The dogs are too late — that train has already left the station.

      • Gopherit

        Seriously. This morning, someone i know said "we're Americans! We don't assassinate for justice!" All I could think was where the fuck had they been? Posse Comitatus was already judged to be quaint but useless. We are in the world of Gitmo, Abu Garaib, warrantless wiretapping, and the poorly named "Patriot" act. You're going to complain now?

    • Gopherit

      In the immortal words of our master Ken Layne and Stripes: Lighten up, Francis.

    • tessiee

      I see your point, but some sort of backlash isn't impossible.

  • Native_of_SL_UT

    Wow, those guys are really serious about the NFL draft aren't they?

  • gef05

    Oh! The dude on the far-left of the photograph. I remember him!

    (no i don't)

  • fuflans

    yeah, but did he cut taxes yet?

  • undeterredbyreality

    Looks like Obama's hogging the couch (again). Who does he think he is?

    • Doktor Zoom

      That's not his couch–that's THE AMERICAN TAXPAYERS' COUCH, and he just DOESN'T GET IT!!!! NEVER HAVE I BEEN SO ASHAMED OF WHAT HAS BECOME OF OUR ONCE-GREAT NATION!!!! (insert weeping eagle pic)

    • Thurman Munster IV

      Plus he's got the remote. Guys never let the girl hold the remote

  • Extemporanus

    That ain't porn on Hillary's computer, that's her lunch.

  • axmxz

    It's interesting how you can tell he's the boss in the room despite his sitting in the corner dressed like he came to change the lightbulbs.

    • MaxUdargo

      He's the only one who has any space around him. I think that's a big non-verbal clue.

      Or is that his detachable knee taking up a seat in front of him? And what is that at Biden's elbow? Did he bring a bag of popcorn? Biden!

  • Thurman Munster IV

    It's obviously his "O" face as in Oh fuck I killed Osama

  • comptoneffect

    Why the hell is the POTUS jammed in the corner of his death chamber? Shouldn’t he be sitting in a Capt. Kirk-like command chair (with buttons and stuff) in the middle of the room? Looks like he showed up late and got the wobbly chair.

    • Extemporanus

      He's losing his religion.

      • OhNoGuy

        Look under the cushions. Maybe it's there with Bush's lost wars

    • emmelemm

      Love that image. (The one where he's in the captain's chair, that is.)

  • johnnymeatworth

    Wow, they did NOT like Transformers II….

    • Doktor Zoom

      To be fair, only complete idiots did.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Mark my words, that photo will be used from now 'til Election Day to scare the bejeezus out of White Olds in campaign ads. Some versions will 'shop him crouching at the foot of their granddaughters' beds.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      They'll photoshop that head onto the body of Ken Norton as he's getting ready to tear it up with Susan George, as per the movie poster for "Mandingo."

  • Sassomatic

    Hillary just accidentally forwarded that "Obama family as apes" email to Obama's Blackberry.

  • lulzmonger

    Suggested alt-text: "COUNTERINSURGENCY, MOTHERFUCKER – DO YOU SPEAK IT?"

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      Win

  • trhindman

    I actually thought they were watching Kate Middleton step out of the car.

  • smitallica

    There is not a single Holy Bible or image of Jesus visible in the entire photo. These people make me SICK!

    • emmelemm

      Not even a flag… although the photo might be cropped a little bit on the edges, so it could be there somewhere.

  • Poindexter718

    Krazy-Eyes Killa!

  • BZ1

    Thought bubble: mission ac…… not yet…

  • PrimlyStable

    This is actually a week-old pic of the White House's weekly Mass Wonkette-Read. They just got to Jack's post about Trig.

  • Dr_Zoidberg

    I love this man.

  • DaSandman

    Air Force one carries President Obama. Air Force 1.5 carries his enormous brass balls.

    • northernbassist

      explains the clanking sound heard throughout the fly-over states.

  • Warpde

    "Looking for just the right moment to interrupt Celebrity Apprentice."

    Close. Their actually catching the end of it while all those Donald Tards are left hanging.
    Touché , Mr. President, touché !

  • RavenRant

    Now that we've eliminated Bin Laden, can we please take on Breitbart?

    I want that sniveling, lying bitch to be every bit as popular as pariah John Edwards. (Edwards hasn't been a guest on Real Time recently, has he?)

  • DashboardBuddha

    I have to say, given the many disappointments Barry has served up, I have to admire him. I was listening to a pretty detailed report on NPR this evening and even though they had as solid of intelligence they could have, they still didn't know if OBL was actually there. If this picture is any indication, he seems to take ordering people into harm's way seriously.

  • Nopantsmcgee

    "This is the caption that will be appear in history books"

    Not in Texas.

    • RavenRant

      Course not. No caption, no photo. They need more room for the 1001 contributions to Murka by the blessed Phyllis Schlafly.

    • tessiee

      Texas will figure out a way to leave President Obama out of the history books entirely.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Wow, when you get up into these paygrades the fucking general has to do the slides on the Power Point presentation? Unreal.

    • berkeleyfarm

      Pretty impressive, yes.

  • http://www.frso.org/index.htm 4TheTurnstiles

    I'm fine with this guy answering the phone at 3am, Hillz. I see this surprises you…?

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    "An $83.6 million opening weekend? For Chrissakes hasn't everyone already seen Vin Diesel all oiled up like a bazillion times before?"

    • RavenRant

      It never gets old.

    • MaxUdargo

      "Okay, now go back about three frames. Okay, one more. One more. There… no, go forward one frame… There! Right there! You can see Neytiri's left nipple!"

      "No, it's just a shadow…"

      "That's the areola!"

      "ENHANCE!"

  • UW8316154

    I love that man.

  • widget2011

    I think they're watching "Freak that shit Tyrone".

  • notreelyhelping

    He's been saving the "furious black dude" face for the perfect moment. Well played. Mitch Daniels can't stop looking at that picture and I thinking, well, uh…maybe that election thing would be hard on the family.

  • voodooeconomics

    Send in the geek squad to tidy up all those laptop cables running all over the place.
    Another odd thing; Does Joey B. knows how to operate the machine in front of him.

    • berkeleyfarm

      I am the Geek Squad at my job and that amused me mightily. Looks like someone planned the room with something resembling enough plugs!

  • voodooeconomics

    I am so cool when I am melting your ass with a fierce look and a bulging vein.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    Angry black man. Knew it all along.

    • OhNoGuy

      He doesn't just talk tough.

  • OhNoGuy

    I imagine there are some mechanics cleaning bathrooms about now. Sounds like they had a contingency plan this time, though.

  • DahBoner

    Damn! Obama looks like he's gelling with those shoe insoles.

    Outrageous comfort!

  • MozakiBlocks

    So I read somewhere that when the helicopter failed and had to set down, them Seal Team Six fellas kept to the mission not knowing if "they'd have a ride home".

    Badass muthers. Imangine you've just double-tapped the big bad and are stuck in the middle of Clusterfuckistan not knowing whether the next person you see is going to be friend or foe.

    • Gopherit

      They are the elite of the SEALs. I don't know if there's a size of pant that could hold the load i would shit if they were after me.

      But i still wouldn't grab one of my wives as a shield. cowardly motherfucker.

  • HistoriCat

    No shit – with that look you don't need to bring out a shotgun or casually mention the Secret Service. That's a look which inspires boyfriends to get you home a half hour early, just in case there's traffic.

  • Schmannnity

    How about a fucking blazer for God's sake if you know a) there's a camera and b) it might be a little historic?

    • RavenRant

      At least he's not wearing the mom jeans, as far as we can tell.

  • http://yakkingmelmoth.blogspot.com/ portermelmoth

    Indeed, Obama's Bob Oppenheimer A-bomb Sanskrit-quote-moment is writ large on his Yes-I-Did! visage. The majesty. The power. The coming glory.

    Fruit Salad fellow next to him is the only Mac user in the room (direct clouding to Julian A).

    Mike 'You-Guys-Want-Anything?' Mullen's ready to go for beverages.

    Youngish New Frontier guy in the blue shirt to the right of Fruit Salad's dreaming of Whole Foods opportunities in newly-discovered Abbottabad, perhaps in a possible suburb of Costelloabad.

    Hillary: emesis imminent. Tart, sour stomach spray comin' up.

    Only Bob Gates exhibits true wisdom via his Genial American ambiance. Look at him! No head examination necessary.

  • TheMeatmaker

    America: Look at our O face.

  • EBGrey

    Release the mother-!@#*ing hounds, bitches!

  • efenhel

    Ya feeling lucky punk? Well are you?

  • Cat_Damon

    Howie Mandel just asked, "Deal? … or No Deal?"

  • Mort_Sinclair

    You know, that pic of Obama is, kidding aside, stunning. No makeup for camera, no perfect suit & tie, just a 50-ish black guy in a windbreaker trying to make it through an unimaginably defining moment in his life and his nation's history. The fallout from failure would be catastrophic; the reverberations of success unpredictable.

  • tessiee

    If you're trying to imply pierced nipples, those are probably around navel level by now.

  • tessiee

    Dang! I bet his kids NEVER misbehave!!

  • AFKensington

    Why is John Lithgow 2nd from the left, back row?

  • nifflersghost

    Everybody knows that image is 'shopped. This is the real one: https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-QrW_L56nkY4/Tc

    IT WAS A SUPERBOWL PARTY.