Conservative Blogger: Crowds In Front of White House Were Plants

  no they can't

We gave this Gateway Pundit guy a pass to the gay CPAC party when he lost his. His face displayed utter shock that somebody at a conservative function could do something generous for another person. Probably because this is how so many of them act:

The operation started years before Obama was in office.

Michelle Malkin noted — A Huffington Post reporter gloats: “Chants of ‘four more years!’ in front of WH.”

College kids in front of the White House are chanting “Yes We Can!” according to a beaming CNN reporter.

Funny… They didn’t get this excited when Al-Zarqawi was killed?

 
Related video

Does anyone out there actually believe this was completely spontaneous and not planned by the left?

Yes! We do believe that. Because a man who murdered thousands of American civilians is now dead. And college students liking Obama? Woah!

Despite the best efforts of our armed forces, some people still live in impenetrable compounds. Of stupidity. [Gateway Pundit]

Related

About the author

Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

View all articles by Jack Stuef

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

136 comments

  1. ManchuCandidate

    Yeah, cause US Americans aren't the type of loud people who would congregate in crowds drinking beer and yelling U! S! AAAAAAAAAA!!! while waving US America flags.

    1. Naked_Bunny

      They've internalized their own bullshit about liberals all being effete, America-hating sociophobes.

    2. Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Why didn't Gateway get to the point: This clearly happened only because Obama has established Sharia law.

  2. nounverb911

    I just hope there are just as many people dancing on the "Gateway Pundits" grave after his funeral.

  3. MittsHairHelmet

    Tough day for the wingnuts.

    And really, comparing Osama to Zarqawi? I know things were intense in the summer of 2006 but I bet he had about 15% name-recognition when he was killed.

    1. Tundra Grifter

      Indeed. That's why the right wing gasbags have fallen back on the RNC Talking Point: All [Mr.] Obama did was continue to follow Bush's policies.

  4. nounverb911

    "Michelle Malkin noted — A Huffington Post reporter gloats: “Chants of ‘four more years!’ in front of WH.”
    Malkin is nothing but an anchor cry baby, boo hoo.

  5. mumbly_joe

    Conservative Blogger: Crowds In Front of White House Were Plants

    No, Ms. Malkin, that's the White House lawn.

    1. Lionel[redacted]Esq

      It was the Phillies v. the Mets, can you think of two more Socialist teams in this country?

  6. Troubledog

    I know it was rigged because on the Jumbotron it said APPLAUSE omg DRUDGE SIRENS

  7. Gratuitous World

    Correction: Crowds In Front Of White House Climed The Plants.

    In other news, gold is down while the influx of GOP Sour Grapes is nearing an all-time high.

    USA!

  8. freakishlywrong

    Fuck all. Wingnuts, 24 fucking hours, like that show you love. Just shut the fuck up for 24 fucking hours and then we won't have blog postings and teevee footage with which to humiliate you. When will you asstards learn?

    1. DaRooster

      Ditto… but add a few more "Fucks" and "Ass-____s" (you know Tard, Hats,etc…) for me.
      DR

  9. horsedreamer_1

    Barackaroo Bonzai & the Seventh Dimensional Chess is my favourite sci-fi/comedy.

  10. Serolf_Divad

    Funny… They didn't get this excited when a stunt double fell off his wire during a preview performance of Spider Man: Turn of the Dark.

  11. qwerty42

    From the link:
    Just when you thought you’d seen everything…
    Leftists chanted “4 more years” and “Yes We Can” outside the White House after Osama Bin Laden’s death was announced last night.

    "Leftists"??? I'm sure the correct term is "hardcore communist Chekist police FEMA nazi spies". How many "leftists" has GP encountered? Are they the same as "people I disagree with"?

    1. bagofmice

      You have to appreciate the logical corrolary. "No we can't!" Especially fitting given the tenure of Bush.

    2. GOPCrusher

      Nobody in their right mind could actually want Barry to be President for four more years.

    3. Callyson

      Yeah…because leftists are known for waving the American flag and chanting USA! USA! USA!
      Really, the wingnuts aren't even trying anymore…

  12. SheriffRoscoe

    From the comments at Gateway Pundit:

    "Of course it was staged. There’s no way that many college students own their own flags. Where do you think they got them that late on a Sunday night? They were all probably offered free beers and condoms."

    Head over to their comments thread and you lower your IQ.

      1. SheriffRoscoe

        Yeah but as for finding a gorgeous babe or hot hunk willing to fuck you, you're on your own. NOBAMA!!!!!11!

        1. Fare la Volpe

          Eh, I'm sure there's a Palin that'll put out. Or at least that's what the Gateways are fapping for.

    1. Gopherit

      I have no trouble believing that Gateway Pundit commenters are completely unfamiliar with college life. It's called any excuse to drink beer, you assholes.

    2. mumbly_joe

      They were all probably offered free beers and condoms."

      Gateway Pundit seems to be confusing whatever yesterday was with a petition drive by the Wisconsin Republican Party.

    3. CrankyLttlCamperette

      I will also point out (as a GW Grad) that the dorms are only about three blocks away from the White House. The liquor store was only a 1/2 block closer. It's not like we were trucking them in from Georgetown or something…

      1. finallyhappy

        And with GW's current tuition, they better be giving out free condoms every damn day! I went to GWU so long ago tuition was $3000 for a year and a summer semester. I think there is a liquor store about a block from the White House past the OEOB across 17th??

      1. Sparky_McGruff

        Yeah, it's not like there's guys who flood the mall selling flags and t-shirts and novelty sunglasses every damn weekend, who might have a box of cheapo flags in the back of their van ready for any occasion. Flags here, Ten Dollars! Ice cold water!

        There are a lot of serious entrepreneurs on the DC streets. There was a guy selling "Obama Got Osama" T-shirts at the Foggy Bottom metro station before lunchtime on Monday. If he were white, the wingnuts would be in awe of his business skills.

    4. RadioJihad

      There’s no way that many college students own their own flags. Where do you think they got them that late on a Sunday night?

      As heard on Limbo.

  13. WriteyWriterton

    The portal between our universe and the alternate wingnut universe slammed shut years ago. I recommend we reinforce the locks.

  14. memzilla

    Yeh, look at all those leftist firemen who rallied in Times Square last night. And… they're all union members!

  15. imissopus

    A Huffington Post reporter gloats: “Chants of ‘four more years!’ in front of WH.”

    I don't know if that's gloating so much as it is a reporter relating to readers an act he is observing. But whatever. I've seen pics of Jim Hoft and I'm pretty sure he diddles small boys. I have no proof, of course, but to my knowledge he's never denied it so it's important to ask the question.

    1. prommie

      Is there anyone who has watched him, 24-7, continuously, from birth till now, who can definitively prove that he has not, during that time, didled any small boys? Where is his long-form Non-Small-Boy-Diddling Certificate?

        1. imissopus

          It would be irresponsible of us to not get to the bottom of this by questioning Jim Hoft over and over and over again. Also he should let us take a look at his computer's hard drive so we can confirm there is not any pedophilic porn on there. Won't someone think of the children?

          1. lulzmonger

            It would be irresponsible not to speculate that perhaps JIM HOFT IS A PEDERAST. While some may argue that the evidence showing that JIM HOFT IS A PEDERAST is flimsy, the proof to the contrary has yet to even be found by anyone, anywhere, ever. Thus it is almost certain that in fact JIM HOFT IS A PEDERAST, & it would be foolhardy not to keep an eye on any pets or livestock for good measure, because chances are JIM HOFT ALSO LIKES SOME RED-HOT LOVIN' SEXYTIME WITH BARNYARD ANIMALS.

          2. imissopus

            We would be doing a disservice to the public if we did not at least publicly debate this issue, that JIM HOFT IS A PEDERAST. Pederasty is a terrible evil in the world, and I'm sure Jim Hoft would not want to be associated with it, lest people believe that JIM HOFT IS A PEDERAST. The only way to have this debate is to provide an open forum for people to provide all the evidence they have gathered that JIM HOFT IS A PEDERAST. Like the proverbial nuking from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.

  16. BlueStateLibel

    Hm, so who are the people most bummed-out by bin Laden's death–our far-right crowd! Hell, I bet even bin Laden's own mother wasn't this upset by his death as our Republican party. And why are they so unpatriotic and sneering over clean-cut college kids waving Old Glory and shouting U.S.A.? Why do they hate America?

  17. SheriffRoscoe

    Awww, our America-hating downfister haz a sad. He spent the whole night choking on liberal cock, and now his burps reek of it.

    1. petehammer

      Tangent – we have a laptop at work that has the big HP badge on the lid and bottom left of the screen, but on the right bottom of the screen the model is "Compaq 9872." I realize they are one and the same company, but that is some confusing branding. Usually the subsidiary doesn't get to use the name of the owner company.

  18. Gopherit

    If only he had given the long form earlier they wouldn't have opened their stupidholes. Really, that makes him an inconsiderate bitch.

  19. BaldarTFlagass

    Actually, all that shit was photoshopped. Everyone stayed home last night.

    1. AngryGeometer

      Actually what they did was get some footage of some Arizona State University students chanting "A.S.U! A.S.U!" celebrating having won Synchronized Sodomy or some other libtard sports event, and they just ran the footage backwards.

  20. elviouslyqueer

    Ha, nice try Gateway Pundit, trying to hotlink me to Michelle Malkin's page. Besides, if I wanted to subject myself to the rantings of a meth-addicted Filipino she-male, I'd read Ann Coulter's newspaper columns.

  21. Andrew Drinker

    No, the left doesn't need to stage things with paid actors. Unlike the right, the left doesn't have to pay people to call into talk shows and spew their daily talking points. Unlike the right, the left doesn't have to buy up as many of the latest liberal book and then give them away, just to get on the bestsellers' list.

    But it is funny to think about the White House giving away free Four Loko.

  22. DustBowlBlues

    Part of this daring raid that the Bushies could've never pulled off: it's been top-secret for months. With Bush's poll numbers down, there is no way they would've kept this to themselves. Hints would be dropped and by the day it was planned, the press would've been there in flak jackets. If, by some miracle, the Bushies had managed to pull it off, "Secret" video would've been leaked of Bush, strutting around the West Wing in his boots and cowboy hat, saying "Bring it on."

    Jesus christ, but Republithugs are idiots.

    The killing of OBL is the kind of thing that happens when the prez is smart.

    1. WriteyWriterton

      Exactly. A thing I find fascinating about this is how incredibly closely the administration kept this plan. Not a word leaked to anyone, notwithstanding the number of people likely to have been involved in planning and operations.

      Incredible discipline from all who worked on this, with zero grandstanding/cowboying.

    2. Rotundo_

      W would have had the body trucked into DC, a green screen erected behind it and pissed on the corpse while he drawled out "I dun told ya O samma, I was a gonna kick yer ass!" while putting the back drop from the house in front of him so all the tighty righties could lumber up and shoot a load. Then he would have been stunned that the Muslim world took offense at doing so.

  23. Texan_Bulldog

    "Funny… They didn’t get this excited when Al-Zarqawi was killed?"

    Grasping at straws any? Does anyone outside of us politico geeks even know who that is…esp. a bunch of drunk college kids?

    1. Pithaughn

      Americans only care about who is number one. Compare the welcome home festivities between the super bowl winners and the losers. Zar .. whoever was not number one, so who cares?

  24. SenileAgitation

    Pundit dope assuming the same tactics used by the astro turfing right wing orgs to such effect during the health care town hall meetings (busing in out-of-towners to shout down legislators with preposterous sloganish "shouting points") must obtain here, and that no spontaneous outpouring of emotion can be genuine simply because it is unknown in the circles that stage their outrage. That said, where did these imps get their American flags at night time? Probably just grabbed 'em off the burn pile, right next to the Bible, the Constitution and "Atlas Shrugged". Really, dead Osama is a nice win for Americans after seeking this asshole for so long. A shame it has to be cheapened by those seeking some partisan advantage. USA! I guess.

  25. politics_nerd

    I was ***OUT*** of beer last night, and here in God's Indiana, we can't buy booze on sunday. WHY did they have to announce this on a SUNDAY? Why, why why!

    1. Selfish_T

      Had the very same problem in Georgia . . . and even we are probably changing that law this year.

    1. ArmoredBore

      "This [bin Laden's burial at sea] is pathetic and I am sick of kissing up to Muslims, of which our president is one," wrote dayglored on Free Republic.

      Well, what the hell were we supposed to do? Hang him by his entrails and parade his corpse around Ground Zero 144,000 times?

  26. carlgt1

    so what about those lame SMU students cheering in front of Bush's house with signs "Thank You Prez Bush" etc; that was just a spontaneous gathering of young frat boys & sorority girls?

    1. fuflans

      oh man why did i click on that?

      it's your avatar. makes me do things a girl shouldn't.

    2. PuckStopsHere

      They actually had the temerity to say Obama was "strutting like a peacock?" Really? Flight suit with codpiece much?

  27. Chillwaver

    I get it…we are only supposed to come together as a Nation if and only if:
    - we have a Republican Prez
    - we suffer a major terrorist attack.
    Anything else is just political propaganda from the left.

  28. BaldarTFlagass

    It's like that old Python sketch, "Upper Class Twit of the Year," but without the "upper class" part.

  29. Callyson

    I wasn't aware that the Reeps needed any help in that department. But I would actually like to believe that nutcase Tancredo on this, since it would mean that Obama is playing the Reeps for the suckers that they are.

  30. Callyson

    Funny – They didn’t get this excited when Al-Zarqawi was killed?
    Funny – W didn't brag about getting Al – Zarqawi "dead or alive"

  31. Doktor Zoom

    " Last October, for instance, [Tancredo] said that the president was a greater threat to the country than Al Qaeda.

    OMG–and now that Obama's killed the head of Al Qaeda, that just makes him an even greater threat!!!!!!!

  32. gullywompr

    What did Osama Bin Laden do? Hengh? It's not like he flew the planes into the World Trade Center himself. Did he sneak into the US, attend flight school, grab a box cutter and carry out the operation? No! All he did was give the order! How can he be so arrogant as to claim credit! Where's the credit for the Mujahideen who did the *real* work a decade before he came on the scene? Why is everybody making such a big deal out of him? Hengh? Hengh?

    1. SonofSpermcube

      "'…What little information we have about the old times, the pittance of data which the Butlerians left us, Korba has brought it for you. Start with the Genghis Khan.'

      'Ghenghis . . . Khan? Was he of the Sardaukar, m'Lord?'

      'Oh, long before that. He killed . . . perhaps four million.'

      'He must've had formidable weaponry to kill that many, Sire. Lasbeams, perhaps, or . . .'

      'He didn't kill them himself, Stil. He killed the way I kill, by sending out his legions. There's another emperor I want you to note in passing–a Hitler. He killed more than six million. Pretty good for those days.'

      'Killed . . . by his legions?' Stilgar asked.

      'Yes.'

      'Not very impressive statistics, m'Lord.' "

  33. petehammer

    Seriously! Hey guys, let's go celebrate outside the white house!

    "Why, so Obama can fail to overturn DOMA?
    … so Obama can torture more people?
    …so Obama can airstrike more people?"

  34. SilverTsunami

    I think many of them were plants. I'm sure I saw I ficus benjaminis and some dinosaur kale among the cheering crowds.

      1. PuckStopsHere

        R U sure they weren't pod people like from that scary movie where all the aliens shrieked when the saw a real human being and at the end even Donald Sutherland was one of them? R U???

    1. RadioJihad

      Sarcasm Gone Wild.
      Sink the Bismarck!
      Seriously, this fat fuck is an outdated, bombastic boat that needs to be put out of commission.

  35. metamarcisf

    Any well-kept public building is landscaped with a modicum of contoured vegetation. This is no surprise. However, it's apparent that many if not all of the people in front of the White House last night were people, not plants. You can take that to the greenhouse.

  36. UpFistTroll

    JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. Can't we find a way to get the terrorists to nuke Arizona? Seriously. The majority of these fucktards have never come within 100 square miles of NYC or DC — or any major metropolitan area, for that matter. These same shits always scream that big cities are full of The Blacks and The Gays and The Jews and The Messicans, and then suddenly when one of them is attacked they're all "OMG USA USA".

    I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD, what I wouldn't give for an "accidental" nuclear test to go off right in that general AZ/NM vicinity. Preferably when some sort of conservative conference was going on there.

    Oh yeah, these were not intended to be factual statements. You know, just to cover my own ass. Works for the conservicunts.

  37. dcjdjay

    Osama Bin Laden may be dead, but yapping pug dog Michelle Malkin is still a cunt. The End.

  38. lulzmonger

    Rewind to Goopers calling Obama's plan to go after OBL & AQ in Pakistan "naive" in 2008 … now forward to today. Back to 2008 … now back to today again. See that?

    Stupid waves its Tard Flag, stupid gets pwned, stupid waves its Tard Flag, stupid gets pwned – never a miscommunication.

    1. Fukui_sanYesOta

      Who can explain how they get voted for?

      Oh yeah. Stupid. That's the crux.

  39. bagofmice

    But that could puncture the condom. Believe me, the FBI takes this sort of thing very seriously.

  40. Redhead

    Just because George W was too busy snorting cocaine with the fetus of his dead brother to rally any crowds outside the white house during HIS administration doesn't mean they're all planted.

    Besides, these weren't the Fox News reports so you can be pretty sure the footage was from the actual event and not another, completely unrelated one from 3 years before.

  41. ChessieNefercat

    "Conservative Blogger: Crowds In Front of White House Were Plants "

    Really? Because they looked like people to me.

  42. ChapterUndVerse

    Me, I just can't understand how Obama managed to get this done without a photo op and a banner. And a tame crowd. With a "Free Speech Zone," also.

  43. DrunkIrishman

    It just eats the right up that a liberal president did something their flight suit wearing failure couldn't.

    Worse, more liberals were shown celebrating this news while many other notable conservatives were trying to downplay about every aspect of this story.

    But maybe Obama should go land a fucking fighter jet on the aircraft carrier they dropped bin Laden's bullet ridden body from.

    Oooh, I got an idea! Let's piss the righties off even more and name that carrier the USS Barack Obama! Oh baby!

Comments are closed.